I never really understood what it is that I find attractiv in men. I thought it's just chemistry but now I know it's those men who are protective over others, men who help the weaker ones (women, children, old people, disabled people, animals etc.). Whenever a man steps in to defend someone, I'm instantly attracted to him. It's so true that the best quality in a man is if he makes you feel safe no matter what!
What a weird way to base attraction on someone. That sounds a bit superficial honestly... There should be more to male attraction than mere “Oh you defended me! Now I love you for life!” People need better moral guidance... 😒
Last night, I was scared to make the trek alone across a parking lot to my car. At my request, a maintenance guy from the building came and walked with me. In that 2 minute span, I felt more connected to that man than I have felt to anyone, all year. His role in my life, even if only for a few minutes, was to protect me and keep me safe, and that made him fundamentally attractive in my eyes. It was, needless to say, a very illuminating walk in the dark. ✨
@@recabitejehonadab2654 lol ye like it's not her business are you need appreciation and respect , she can give no fucks about what you do for her of for world . Zero fucks where given , if she is normal she will have gratitude for your effort if you normal you would want to make her feel good , all else is mental case
Thank you Teal, as a single male I had no idea how profound women experience fear. I also noticed how as you spoke how I didn't want to listen to the end of your talk, like I had to force myself to follow along as you spoke, like my social programming just wanted to reject what you were saying, which was also eye opening to me. Thank you again for this new awareness. I will make a conscious effort to make all women around me feel safer & find ways to atune myself better to women needs to lower the fear response women have because of me. Thank you again Teal for these insights into women.
Glad you found meaning from her message, most men would ignore what she is saying but as a woman she is telling the truth about the level of underlying fear that follows us.
I love that. Just yesterday I experienced physical harassment in the subway and it was scary. I dont think the dude was a super bad guy but he was super drunk and he he didn't understand how much his physical touch was scaring and harassing me. Even after I left the subway and got away from the dude..I was in a state of fear until I was home. I was scared he is following me. I'm not going to avoid the subway or always to try to find a safe man who will be my company to in the subway. That would make life limiting and complicated. But the more men become aware and adjust to the fact how scary every day life can be for a women...the better.💕 also if this drunk guy would have knows how much fear women experience....maybe he would have stopped when the first no was expressed.
Even as a women, when she had a video on containment. I almost immediately wanted to shut it off. Because I didn’t like what she was saying, it went against how I was raised and how I was comfortable. But I pushed thru, and in the end also found value and truth. Kudos to you sir for pushing the boundary of comfort. Now imagine if we did those same gestures with life?
I work in a nursing home & a few years back I saw a ghost at the facility & it freaked me the hell out & my husband doesn’t even necessarily believe in ghosts but he never called me crazy & after I put everyone to bed he would come to my work & sit with me until midnight when I got off. He still shocks me with how understanding & nurturing he is 🥰
I haven't watched this video. I was reading some comments and your emoji about you feeling cared for and loved by your husband, pours some life into my semi cold dark heart.
Svyp3r blah blah blah 🙄 after a decade of being together I don’t think he’s just trying to “sleep” with me, but what do I know lol also, I’m not saying what I saw was necessarily real.. the point is he showed great empathy, respect, & understanding. I’m not in need of your relationship advice, but thanks anyway ✌🏻
@@Name-oz4lq *"I’m not saying what I saw was necessarily real.. the point is he showed great empathy, respect, & understanding."* Boom. 100% correct. Slight modification - I wouldn't call it respect because it is a positive thing like respecting a hardworker for his/her hard work, but I would call it not-disrespect, i.e. something not negative, something polite, sweet and caring.
When I'm walking around a women alone at night, I can always sense the fear radiating out of her and also the way she walks. I would usually try walking in a different direction just to avoid scaring her more
joe mama you are a kind soul to be aware of that fear and make an adjustment. That fear has happened to many women and girls. I will never forget being followed and harassed on my way home from Highschool in Gr 10. It was terrifying. Luckily I ran into a guy I knew and it stopped.
I’m astounded at some of the suggestions I get from men for places to meet for dates etc. I want to say “haven’t you ever seen 20/20?” Why would I put myself in the position you’re suggesting?
I am a message. And I approve this woman. Seriously, these simple insights are profound in the era of "men and women are the same" kind of ideologies. I love how Teal recognises how nature has shaped males and females in slightly different ways through endless aeons of evolution, and understanding those differences is crucial in understanding ourselves.
It's easier to not being in a relationship than being in one where you feel unsafe in any manner. The permanent state of anxiety consumes every aspect of our lives, the hypervigilance. No one can live normal in a constant state of survival mode.
It was an unsafe feeling for me to have bedroom sex that she initiated but then watched her swoon over other attractive men, live or on TV. I didn’t feel safe so I walked. Men have a heart too.
When you say “felt unsafe” do you mean your partner was walking back to the car with you at night and you thought he was gonna kidnap you? Or because he was literally threatening to beat you. Most women have such low standards of men and think we’re all mindless robots of death
I've always known this .. The best way for a Guy to make a Woman feel safe is to be competent. Have social skills to avoid conflict, know how to physically fight if need be, manage your emotions so you aren't a source of fear. It's the basics to life. It's not about fancy canned lines telling her it's going to be ok... you radiate confidence through competence.
Oh ok. I totally get the fear part. I’m a black woman and when I was younger, I feared black men sometimes (mainly the ones I wasn’t interested in) because they would hit on me and it would be in an aggressive and disrespectful way, and it terrified me. It seemed like they didn’t care if I liked them or felt comfortable with them first. They just went on approaching me however they wanted to. It has emotionally upset me a lot over the years. It was very intimidating. It would make me feel like prey being hunted down by a predator.
I think my lack of aggression has been seen as a lack of confidence that indicates i know i cannot really guarantee anyone's safety with my current abilities to dominate or not. and don't i want someone enough to fight everything for them? I guess it's impractical not to be a good tool. I would like to read minds so i know ahead of time where i don't belong
@echosixnoble Biology man. You cannot escape it. Woman needs a man, not a boy. A confident person who follows his path with determination. Often nice guys are too nice. They don't set the boundaries because they are "nice". They sacrifice their own path for others. Then comes the line "honey is it ok if..." in every turn. If the good guy cannot be assertive in a healthy way, then women seek assertiveness from bad guys. Bad guys don't sacrifice their path, they simply take the woman along for their ride on that path. That's the unfortunate flaw in female genetics. In a criminal they see a confident guy who follows his own path. They skip the part that the path is against the law and society. But that principle worked well in caves, where there was no laws. The genetic programming needs an update, most likely in men too.
I’ve always been very independent to a fault and as I’ve gotten older I’ve really worked at allowing myself to become more vulnerable and to lean into my feminine energy more. I remember once being on top of this shaky ladder on top of a scaffolding, painting part of a mural at the very top of this building. I had to reach up and felt so uncomfortable. There were a lot of people hanging out watching and I looked down and noticed this man I didn’t know moving purposefully in my direction. He noticed I was uncomfortable and asked if he could help support me. Oh my … I was instantly in love and it was surreal because as he held firmly onto my legs so I felt safe enough to reach up and paint, I understood that this is what it felt like to be supported by a man. I had left a 17 year relationship a year or so before this and I remember wondering what I might be capable of if I had that kind of support in my life. Another time I remember walking downtown in a city with busy traffic and my boyfriend at the time, firmly took my hand to pull me with him to cross and something about knowing he was being so protective, decisive… it was so masculine, sexy, and incredibly attractive to me. Unfortunately, I’ve not had many experiences or partners that I felt that kind of support, but just recently I started dating a man -after years of being mostly alone- and he is very protective of me and seems to love taking care of me (something truly foreign to me) and I love it soo much. One of the sweetest things… I mentioned that I was allergic to certain hot peppers and he instantly and poetically declared he would “stomp the peppers in the fields”… before he’d let them hurt me.. I forget the exact words, but it was quite adorable. I don’t identify with feeling fear that often, but I am sure that it’s there and I’ve just been conditioned to be brave and strong. I seem to require a VERY strong man and then I can relax and let my guard down..
women need to watch this video the same way men need to watch the video she did about men!! I learned sooo much in both videos! If we would understand eachother given this information, it would be so much easier to find yourself in a healthy fulfilling relationship!
I truly feel this is what we have to do now - understand each other. And together build a truly egalitarian society. We can't be equal when the society we live in was totally designed and built by men ONLY. We use men's systems for EVERYTHING and believe me there are other systems. The man's system is what I call the "block style" where everything is compartmentalized and scheduled. And the feminine style is spontaneous, in the moment, dynamic. We have lost the ability to feed our newborns from our breast - it's never seen anywhere, never in the movies on in public, it's still considered "obscene". Yet seeing men in killer uniforms (military and police), seeing violence on the movies at every turn, that's perfectly fine, nobody thinks that's obscene. The way we have been twisted by the toxicity of only seeing things through the (predatory) male lens, has got to transform or there will be no hope for women. It's even more misogynist now than it ever has been in my lifetime but now it's more concealed.
@@DR--- That's an unsubstantiated opinion. You didn't even give your reasons. People who do that are just bloviating. Give your reasons for why she is wrong otherwise your opinion is moot.
The big mistake she makes is painting women as passive beings who have to look for the 'right man' who can service these needs. I believe this is the number one thing that actually destroys relationships. Men are not empowered or women disempowered. Men don't react with fight and women with flight. The statistics do not bear out women being the main victims of violence at all. Women and men are both empowered AND fearful. But often in different ways. Relationships must be approached with equal effort and responsibility, and none of the above assumptions if you want the best chance of success
I didn't now! I really feel fear all my life. I didn't now but I separate of the man i had relationship because they where Looking for that I will give them safty and could it not give to my. Wow!I understand so much more and have now the words I needed!
I feel you, woman with cptsd here too. Last man was soo avoidant and unhealed from his past that I disconnected emotionally when he started avoiding me
Your health issues are not our problems. Harsh but true, you need to deal with that yourself any way you can. Therapy, meditation, whatever. Men have to do the same. No woman wants a man with health issues.
I love at the end when it is said there's nothing sexier to a woman than a man who makes her safety a top priority. It is so true, and I willingly admit this!
Yet you can look around and all you see is women going for the nerdy skinny guy that couldn’t even protect himself. That proves that this msg is flawed
@dreday77764 we have learned that gym rats are likely narcissists and not worth the time. They will never make a woman feel safe, even if they look strong. Safety for a woman is an emotional connection, and those guys never understand. So we choose the nerd carrying a 9mm. Simple.
I never thought about women from the perspective of their baseline experience being fear. That makes me feel potentially even more useful to women, by being able to create safety for them at every turn. What a beautiful thing! Will carry this forward into my relationships with women the best way I can. Thank you.
It's not physical danger only, we need to feel safe from abandonment and betrayal, that feeling of uncertainty will create a stressful environment for us and w can't thrive in this negative space Some need financial safety, some need affirmation more than financial, it depends on how this woman was raised and what she went through, a wise man is what we want
Good to know ! I Think We would have a Better society if These 2 Videos ( What Men need to know about a woman & vice versa ) were shown in High school to All the Kids. Maybe society would be more in tune & respectful for the most part.
Thank you Teal. As a man, I know that I have been guilty of not taking my wife’s need for feeling safe as seriously as I should have. Thanks for opening my eyes. I am so appreciative
@@celiacresswell6909 shifting blame has no point yeah. It's always "the buck stops with me" Even if you did not cause the problem, it's always your (and everyone's) own responsibility to handle it to the best of their abilities. On the other hand. Realising a once noble cause can be corrupted over time expands your perspective. And understanding you had very reasonable circumstances to come to a wrong conclusion let's you move forward and learn with peace of mind instead of contraproductively self-blame for a lesson not yet learned due to unknown unknowns.
I can totally see that, everytime a meet a woman i notice that she's pretty unsafe, closed as if i'm a potencial treat which is understandable. But after a good conversation a good connection takes place depending on the level of safety she's feeling. What i see most men go wrong(including myself) is that they have a really direct and agressive approach towards women which only makes them feel more unsafe not giving place and time for a true connection to be created.
@betty lynch I understand... you're right to need space and time when getting to know someone you're involved with, unfortunately a lot of men out there are lost. They're blind, they can't see a woman as a unique and infinite being, all the they see is an object that is there to be used... missing the best part which is who you truly are. your feeling of unsafeness is perfect, is there to protect you and prevent those situations from happening so keep following your feelings. Thanks for the awesome comment
She's talking about AFTER you get the girl. A woman may like an aggressive man because it can be perceived as being confident. A lot of what she's saying Is just security in general, not of danger, just secure in life. One day me and my girl was waking past the park and I heard 2 gunshots. She's not used to hearing shots, so she thought it was fireworks. As we approached the corner of her block, I saw one of my boys on the ground with half his brains hanging out. Before we actually got to the corner, I told her to walk down the other block, but she refused because she didn't want nothing to happen to me, she said she didn't know what she'd do if she lost me. Til this day she can't walk past that corner, she always crosses the street. Had she listened to me initially and walked around the other block, she wouldn't have this" fear." This was in 2010. I know I diverted from the subject, but I think it's talking about after you get the girl.
This is so true. I suppress my fear so that I can do daily things like putting gas in my car, crossing a parking lot or answering the door when I expect a delivery. I am afraid though I know because I am alert and my senses increase. When I am with a man I love and trust the feeling of safety is intoxicating. I agree it’s my #1 need. To feel safe.
@@gabbsdy8741 If you live in the West, you're living in the most pampered, safe, protected and policed environment that has ever existed in human history.
@@gabbsdy8741 One way would be (and many will disagree on this) scrap the known concept of prisons. Bad company destroys good habits. Prisoners enter as bad (or unfortunate) persons and later come out as even worse ones. If they would spend time instead with grannies and friendly, joyful people it would actually change a person for the better.
If you're a guy and you're watching this video thinking "Then why are women attracted to bad boys who cheat or emotionally abuse them while nice guys are left in the dust?" Teal's explanation is only half of the story. Most bad boys will (usually) act physically aggressive to everyone except her. A nice guy can be trusted not to strike her, but he's not trusted enough to protect her because nice guys are generally pushovers, which decreases attraction. Bad boys will also lie about cheating in order to protect her emotionally, and most of the time they get away with it until they get caught, at which point she won't feel safe anymore and she'll likely leave. The best compromise? Be the bad boy with a good heart. Learn MMA or boxing but hope you never have to use it, and don't be a pushover with anyone (including her). That's the most idealistic version of a man who is both capable of protecting a woman and trusted enough not to cheat on her.
@Dan Interesting take on this! Going by your comment, is it save to say then, you're the bad boy that went through the 'car wash' and has come out exactly as the 'ideal' compromise you've decribed in this post? And has it been difficult to change your ways? I agree with a lot of what you're saying, except for the part about "protecting a woman emotionally by not telling her when you cheat on her." I understand the rationale behind it, but isn't it mainly to be having your way with another woman without bearing the consequences? And thus, first and foremost out of self interest? If I'm wrong here, I'm very curious as to how not telling her about your infidelity is done with the sole intend of protecting her emotionally. Further, in my own experience, men sometimes conflate being kind to a woman with pleasing her all of the time. The latter is usually deemed a lot less attractive, while being genuinely kind to a woman is usually seen as attractive by most women. Especially if she feels you really mean it. Another one being, agreeing with everything she's suggesting. Which is a bit of a problem if you genuinely agree with her on all of her suggestions. 'Cause then you have to suddenly hold your ground and act all tough over having a peanut butter sandwich before grabbing a beer by the sea. "This man is not having this! I will go with you to the beach and have a couple of beers. But I will refuse this peanut butter sandwich! Period!!!😎😂 Cheers!
As a man, I didn't expect my mind to be so fundamentally blown ever again as with this info about women's fear. I cannot fathom how this must feel all the time for you women! I am truly totally fearless most of the time when walking alone somewhere. When I rarely feel a little fear when walking in the dark it is even enjoyable and exiting for me! Very seldom this emoji is so absolutely perfect: 🤯
So true, right? I also was very surprised and now i feel so much more empathy for women cause i understand better how they function and suddenly i actively wanna make them feel safe. I thought they just feel unsafe when walking alone at 2 am in the ghetto or when someone creepily walks behind them. Now i feel the urge to give women respect just for making it through the day.
@@mysticdove8 no you dont. You need to stop living in fear based on false hoods. You have been programmed since you were young to live in fear despite all evidence stating that its men who should not women. Men are attacked and or killed far more often in public.
I used to have a dear boyfriend who im still good friends with who would always say to me, "Im here with you! You got me n i got you. Your safe now!" Then he'd hold me close and gently. It was such a comfort and i trusted him with my heart and body more then any other man i have had a relationship with. He grew up in a family as the one boy amongst many sisters. So i feel he saw, heard and understood their fears as they were growing up together.
Once we men understand what Teal Swan says and what makes a woman feel safe with us AND in our absence... it´s an incredible feeling what we get by her receiving our care. "The true power of a man is the size of the smile of the woman next to him"
Yes, exactly, men should also know that they are showered with love and affection, basically blessed with all her feminine energy, when she feels protected by that man.
As a man, i agree with Teal's analysis of how women are biologically and mentally conditioned towards fear and the need for trust, safety/security in relationships with men. However, there is one big issue she glossed over. Generally speaking (Key word: "Generally" not all) when women are young between the ages of 15 to 30, it seems they are rather attracted to confident, aggressive "Bad Boy" types of men. Generally speaking (Key word: "Generally" not all) most men who are confident and aggressive tend to be very unemotional and self centered. On the other hand, there are "Nice Guys" who women between the ages of 15 to 30 always seem to overlook. Generally speaking (Key word: "Generally" not all) most men who tend to be "Nice Guys" are good listeners, empathetic, less aggressive and humble. But these kinds of men tend to be unattractive (boring, predictable) and women would rather engage with the "Bad Boy" types who are attractive (fun, unpredictable). Yet, we all know how the story usually ends. The "Bad Boy" usually breaks her heart and she complains to her "Nice Guy" friend that there aren't any good guys out there in touch with their emotions. All you have to do is a google search (nice guys and women) (nice guys finish last) and you will see thousands of pages that bear witness to this phenomenon especially in the comment sections. So the big question is why do some women (a rather large number but not all women) choose these kinds of men over and over again? My answer: "Bad Boys" make these women feel safe and secure over "Nice Guys" on a Primal Subconscious Level. But "Bad Boys" will also most likely break a woman's heart and not bat an eye. It sucks but it seems to me that is the reality of the vast majority of relationships out there.
@@thomasanderson9247 Easy: Girls who go for bad boys usually have a lot of inner restrictions due to their social and cultural upbringing - they are not allowed to be bad, free, break the rules, have no responsibilities, be strong, rude, aggressive ect. So when they meet a bad boy - they feel strongly attracted, because that's their rejected inner self and by loving the bad boy they indirectly integrate thei inner bad girl, that's been banned from their personality. They same goes with the bad guys or guys, who love bad girls. That's not the problem. What you're saying is an example for the basic law of attraction and subconsciously trying to integrate your broken pieces. So we're back at square 1: Girls and boys should be treated and brought up with an open mind and not based on how a "boy/girl should be", allowing them to find their own form of inner empowerment so that they grow up with a strong sense of self. That's how you get strong women and men and can actually get a chance at healing this gender pathology we've got going on for centuries now.
@@thomasanderson9247 Yes, the assessment criteria appears to be entirely superficial. Easily fooled and manipulated too. I think many women disown their part in calculating value because they don't like to think of themselves as making decisions like that. They prefer to think of themselves as driven by emotion or even fated to be with someone rather than as having the power to choose. In rejecting the conscious part of the selection process they defer to reflex and end up instantly drawn to the person who's invested the most in their "I'm an Alpha. I'm intimidating to others." act. In social groups women take on the status of their male by simple association and being with the most dominating person is a much safer social position than being in opposition or in competition with them. However... that's chimpanzee behaviour!. Humans don't have to think like that under normal conditions. A woman who is more aware of her own power can look at her options through the filter of any number of hierarchies that aren't bound to the immediate physical environment or through the lens of a more personal set of hopes and desires that truly reflect her own life's story... It IS fear that takes the better options and decision making away but denial also because the act of acknowledging that fear is leading us down a particular path can create an opportunity to consciously give some other aspect of ourselves a turn in the driving seat. Unfortunately, people have gotten so good at believing in themselves and feeling confident in what they are doing that they will rarely take the time to question their own behaviour or choices, even in retrospect. Even self belief has become fear driven!
@@GrahamMilkdrop looks to me like you have some issues with your own "bad boy" stuff. In my opinion people are naturaly both(good guy,bad boy) ... we must integrate both of those aspects,debating about it and feeding the intellect wont do much for you.the best way is just to "get in there" and get dirty
@@nejczupan That was certainly a huge issue for me growing up. It is not uncommon for males my age, growing up with that strong anti male message, to have vowed to be 'different' to the image of masculinity that we were presented with... and then to have suffered the abuse, disrespect and plain cruelty that inevitably comes to people who are 'too nice'. And what a horrible thing it is to have had our own goodwill used to set us up to fail. Brutal. But I was mostly dealing with that 15 years ago. My comment about female denial of experience is not from the perspective of someone who is also in denial... at least not to that extent. It is from active observation... specifically of a woman who had successfully bought into her own dreams only to have her fears destroy them because she couldn't acknowledge they were there. The belief system that she had adopted leaned heavily on superficiality and the times that she couldn't genuinely believe in herself she gravitated towards super-superficial confidence... the kind that people learn by watching "10 body language tips for getting what you want...' videos on UA-cam. She would even say how disingenuous it was of her, but she just could not stop... It was a reflex. There were a number of women involved in the situation at the time and they all had that same 'desperate-self-belief' thing going on, some to an even greater extent... reaching personality disorder levels. Seriously... things got insane! So, I guess what I am trying to say is that in this case my issue is far less to do with how I feel about 'bad boys' and more to do with having witnessed the way people cover up their own fear with superficial displays of confidence and how superficial relationships feed into their denial. It is definitely a thing! (For bad boys too)
Absolutely true!!! She is spot on! There is nothing more attractive and desired by a woman than to have a man who is emotionally available and is capable of protecting her and making her feel “safe.” And when I mean safe, it’s not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. Also trust is a must! I can’t fall in love with a man whom I can’t trust. And even if I had that trust before, if it’s been violated, I cannot fall back in love with him again.
Wow Teal! I was watching this with my boyfriend and it is exactly how you say! He is the only man ever that made me feel completely emotionally and physically safe and this is the best relationship I've ever had! He was really touched by your video because we literally talked about this topic just before watching. He feels so empowered and masculine when he feels that I feel safe with him. He is absolutely atuned to me and can sense when I am feeling afraid or triggered. I am a outgoing person and no other men ever realised how much safety I needed - they simply couldnt feel it. I will share this with all my girlfriends because I think that many women are not aware that their basic experience is fear and what they should look for in a man. You are incredible, keep up the good work!
God has not given us a spirit of fear. Fear comes from Satan and the fallen angels. I often times help male strangers when I am alone. I have even given them rides in my car. I don't fear for my safety because I know that God's purpose for my life is to help needy people. I have never been hurt by any of these men, even when 1 of them had a machete on him. God and his angels keep me protected. If God is for me, no one can be against me. 😇
The problem those types of men are becoming rare. Men only think about their needs and get frustrated but as teal said a women can't get arouse until they feel safe a man refuses to do anything but chase his desire
This was one of the main reasons that I left my husband after 23 years marriage. I never felt he was supportive or had my back. I became that independent strong female. This was 10 years ago, and I learned we weren't compatible. Hes a good man but not good for me. I need to feel that safety, support, and trust from a man. Men I've met tweek that inner gut feeling of not being able to meet these needs. Something feels off early in the relationship, and I cannot feel close to them, or feel trust. These men are dismissive and think I'm being dramatic or behaving " like all the other women ". I suspect I'm hyper sensitive because I was let down in my marriage and in my childhood by my parents. After a few bad short-lived relationships I know how I want to feel around a man. Teal is right. I want to feel safe, trust, supported, understood.
My 5-year relationship with the kindest, gentle, most handsome man I have ever met is ending. This video, plus the one on containment, explains exactly, or at least mostly, why. Thank you, Teal. I was reluctant to think that you, so beautiful and young, could have any wisdom to share with this old crone who has done her fair share of shadow work. How wrong was I!
My life changed since Ia admitted my fears and constant anxiety and be open about it. Strangely enough, men’s feedback to me is that it makes me look like I know exactly what I want, it makes me more feminine than other women they met and that they know they need to meet certain standards in order for me to deem them worth my time. What also happened is that I’ve been treated better ever since, all the while becoming more independent and climbing up in my career progress. Being authentic and true to yourself is powerful and rewarding. Im still peeling off layers of my scars and wounds to work on it. It may seem harder especially if you’re in a society that praises modern feminism.
All true! Interesting experience, I've just started to open up about my feelings and being more vulnerable and wondered how men wouldn't react to that. So far my ex bf dismissed my emotional openness but I sure will be better off if I state my needs openly to men I encounter.
Its a good feeling to hear transparent communication from a woman, it makes it much easier to know her likes and dislikes, i also feel good that she feels safe around me. When a woman is closed off is kind of eeerie feeling, its like she hold grudges and makes theories about me in her mind, and i start to feel guilty for doing nothing lol.
@@juliadarling3404 if you turn it around it becomes quite obvious: how are you to have a relationship where you cant openly talk about your feelings? that sounds so wrong.
You are completely right, I’ve even noticed that women are more drawn to me when I am present also. Because being present helps you attune into others and feel them deeply.
Alana Glaser That’s true, although the last part you can’t speak for all women, because many couples are gamers and play together; but I understand where you’re coming from.
Ancient Bloodline of Light It seems redundant, yet being aware of your presence & others response to your presence. I feel much of society (including myself) ‘forgot’ this deep human connection of Oneness & especially the power of this connection with the masculine & the feminine energies. There is something of the feminine energy which relishes & releases in this presence & awareness from the masculine energy (I felt it in your energy.) It feels like when the masculine energy is aware of itself & present, it steps into its natural roles which allows the feminine energy to quit trying to protect itself & it returns to its feminine roles. It’s a much appreciated abandonment of a role feminine energy has tried to take on to protect itself in an unbalanced world. When this is done it feels balance is restored. The feminine & masculine can return to the flow & feed each other once again.
I’m shook!... I thought what the hell are you talking about, I’m not scared. And then I remebered that not two hours ago at work I removed a small knife, that I use to open packages for retail, from my sleeve. I stand behind a counter and I became aware that someone could easily grab the knife and hold it against my throat. Now you could say that this has nothing to do with being a woman and it’s just part of doing this job. But it’s not that thought that has me triggered now. It is the reaction I had to that thought, I treated it like any other, because I am actually so used to thoughts like this. And to be honest it scares me now thinking about this, about all the moments that I am terrified. I’m even on edge when I cycle through my dutch small village with only 7500 inhabitens. That’s insane... That that apparently is normal for us...
I remember when my ex told me, “I bet you thought you were safe with me. Well you were wrong.” Stayed with him for another year as the situation devolved into a hell scape. Should have left when he first warned me.
@@walkerchino I'll be honest.. I failed to make her feel understood, listened to.. I failed to make her feel safe and like she can talk to me. I failed to show her how much I actually love her. I failed to show her that it's okay to feel the way she does and to act the way she acted. And every time I think about it I start crying because now I feel all the pain I caused her and because I'm afraid I broke something her and I could never find again.
@@7heVoiD1 Dont worry, it's nothing that can't be healed. People have been healed from serious mental trauma before and yours doesn't sound like it. Ain't easy if you ain't got the tools, but Teal's making it easier for us. Dont beat yourself too hard for it, you need to keep living to make things better.
What she said I have messed up sooooo many times.im a dude through and through My chick is a chick . I have to stop calling her insane. Thanks teal.great message
100% correct. Quite tired of being "strong". Been feeling unsafe my whole life. I'm dreaming of moment when I will be feeling safe. Even that one relationship I allowed myself into, on my gut level I was never feeling safe and connected as I deserve. Now being single, doing the shadow work, digging and owning my own darkness is my way of dealing with this "feeling unsafe". I have to know everything, because no one ever talked to me, no one, or show interests in me in the most generous way. Taking power back to me, that being said, this year was one of the most transformative ones. It's like having 1 year. I never lived before. Never felt I have the right to. On my way to acknowledge and hug that hurt masculine (and feminine) energy within myself. To meet myself in wholeness. To heal=whole. 💚🙏
When I was a freshman an college I went to a frat party with a group of guy friends. At one point in the night I had lost track of all of them and I couldn’t find them anywhere, no one was answering their phone. I was terrified, my night turned from fun to horror as my 100 lb intoxicated self wove through crowds of drunk men praying I wouldn’t be noticed by the wrong person before I found a familiar face. Eventually I figured out they had all left the party and went to a bar without me. So I walked to the bar by myself in order to find them and when I got there I reprimanded them. But the night was relatively young so I loosed up and let myself enjoy it again. My friends were sitting at the bar and I was on the dance floor, I could see them and they could see me, and so everything was okay again until it was closing time and I look over to see all of my friends already making their way towards the exit, seemingly leaving without me yet again. I was furious, I yelled at them to stop, cursed a bit, and the entire walk home I was cold as ice. And when we got back to the dorm it wasn’t an apology I got from them for leaving me twice and causing me so much anguish, they told me they were mad at ME for yelling at them in public and that I am an “adult” and it’s not their responsibility to take care of me. Needless to say I cut all of them off that night and made better friends. Edit: for those saying maybe they didn’t want to be with me, first it was known to all my friends that I hosted a pregame at my dorm every weekend and anyone who wanted to come could come, I didn’t force them to come to my dorm and go out with me they came of their own volition, it was a regular affair. Second, it’s basic human decency to care about the wellbeing of your friends, are you leaving your boy passed out on the sidewalk or are you carrying him home? If that’s your gf in this situation are you blaming her for getting drunk bc “drinking is dangerous for women” or are you mad at her friends for leaving her vulnerable? And lastly, a few of them did come to me and apologize after the fact because they recognized their error and wanted to continue to be friends, they didn’t hate me they just didn’t understand because that’s not the male experience.
@@zinab2blessa : Yes. Men in reality like being the "Masculine" figure. Men like being the protective ones. But the third wave of feminism has Forced men into this "Oh okay, you can do it all by yourself, imma let you do it all by yourself" attitude. Men nowadays are seen as "perverted sexual predators" as a defacto standard.
This video made me cry. I always thought I was weird or fucked up for always being scared of the world, scared of showing my true colors and my vulnerability. Turns out I'm brave! That is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard and I really needed that! Thank you!
I experienced a little compassion for myself when I heard that part too. I'm brave! You're brave! Also, I like when Teal reminds us/describes that we're in the emotional dark ages. If we could come back years from now, and see how we're doing it now (compared to what would actually work for us), then our current treatment of each other (emotionally) would be the barbaric equivalent of "bleeding" people or slavery or believing the earth is flat. Suggestion: Watch ua-cam.com/video/zBONY25QEXk/v-deo.html for "What We're All Really Looking For."
"scared of the world" What are you, a child? " scared of showing my true colors" So you're a liar? "my vulnerability" You have anxiety that you need to work on. "Turns out I'm brave!" How? Because someone who doesn't know you said so?
Abla I feel with you. Society has shamed people badly for feeling vulnerable thus there are so many people who will shame anyone for saying true things. You are not alone. And together gradually we are making the world a better place to exist in.
@@MoonwalkerWorshiper Have sympathy for other humans,when you leave your door in the morning if you have one,are you guaranteed a safe return home if you have one?☠💀🚪
Teal just casually described how most men treat most women hhhhhh. Thank you so much for voicing my own deepest shame. That I as a woman, cannot accept the fact that I live in a perpetual state of fear. And that I fail to notice just how much bravery there is in the fact that I'm still living.
fear for my physical and emotional safety absolutely defined how I made choices in life and making them from a place of fear only manifested them time and time again into my reality. At the age of 55, that fear is no longer there to that degree, so my life unfolds in a more creative, powerful way. I'm doing my best to teach my 19-year-old daughter this awareness and that is all I can do... make her aware and yet watch with joy all the mistakes she makes as they lead her to understand this even deeper. thank you, Teal
This has ENTIRELY changed my perception of what a healthy relationship actually is and should look like. I feel like I understand myself in a completely different way.
... oh , if I'd heard this 50 years ago ... but the times they are achangin ' ... thanks for being the most solid teacher for the evolution of the spirit of mankind on any public platform that I am aware of , Miss Swan . My heart beats with you and your team . God , you're good ! So many people actually love you because of the purity of your spirit . Your wisdom is sublime . Just ... thanks !!!
Telling yourself you're not afraid, or illegitimizing your own feelings, crushing it back into your subconscious- hurts. Making communities safer, having a healthy group of friends, knowing you are needed- helps.
Feelings can't always be allowed to run amuck though. If you constantly allow yourself to be governed by your feelings and emotions, you'll get yourself into a world of trouble. Because if unchecked it always results in "I want this, I need that, I want I want I want I need I need I need, me me me me me." That's the surest recipe of unhappiness. Sometimes you must take a step back from all your swirling feelings, and apply some logic and self discipline, and most of all self distance.
One of the most fearful things to do as a woman is to have to take public transportation in a dangerous metro at night. As a woman, I had to do this to go back and forth from work, for the sake of my family's income, as my husband's car had irreparably broken down and he did not work at a place where there was public transportation. Therefore he used my car for many months, while saving for another car, until my car also broke down. We had to rent a car to go to a dealership to buy new used cars. I believe my cortisol levels were out of control, and I felt he should have taken care of the situation much sooner and expressed more remorse about exposing me to nightly walks and drunks and places even security was afraid to monitor in the light rail stations. If there was noise in the basement, I was the one who had to go downstairs with the baseball bat to see if anyone was down there. I told him, "I want to be the girl," and he thought I was joking, but I was very serious.
I wouldn't say I'm in fear all of the time. Maybe once or twice a year I have moments when im unsure of my safety, but I think it has a lot to do with our bringing up and how we've been treated through out our life.
@Flowered Sentiments Everytime I go out I am wary especially at night. Of course I think about other things at the same time but I make sure to hear or see everything around me. Every men is a potential treat to me and I never had any types of violence done to me by a man in my entire life. If it's dark and there is a man walking near her, come on, every women fear something might happen to them right? And this scenario happened to every women. To give another exemple if a stranger ring the bell to my house I won't open if I'm alone. And I live in a safe place
we have become so accustomed to operating from fear that it doesn't even register in our minds...Its always not full-blown panic, but smaller things like being hypervigilant of who is walking near you at night, feeling uncomfortable and closed off when a man approaches you, worrying why your date is not calling you back when he said he would, feeling frantic when you can't see your kid at the park, stress when your partner doesn't come home when he's usually does (is he cheating? was he in an accident?). It's not just fear for safety but fear of abandonment, loss, betrayal, deception, etc.
@@madisonhealey I agree exept for the jealousy part I think it comes more from a lack of self esteem than female nature, not every women has fear of abandonment, I don't.
@@thisisntallowed9560 I would argue almost everyone has a fear of abandonment to different degrees. This is because we are a social species, and if we are rejected by others and left (especially as a child) we would die. This is the reason breakups, loosing friends, and loss of loved ones is so emotionally painful and why we are then afraid of it. It's not always at the front of your mind and its not necessarily a predominant fear. Some have this fear worse than others, of course.
Yes but keep in mind also we men are unfit to be in a relationship if we are too available, bro. It´s because then she doesn´t feel this charismatic masculine energy emanating from us, the spark in our being which actually makes us men sexy because it indicates we are self-sufficient in life. Or in other words: an emotionally intelligent beggar is still not attractive to women
@@howmathematicianscreatemat9226 - This is true, yes. But only in a certain population of women, primarily in their early 20s, still naive and not really looking for anything serious. A woman looking for her forever after will not be attracted to men who make her feel unsafe (by being emotionally unavailable in this example), because she needs to know that when she is vulnerable, like when she is with child or nurturing small children, her man will be there to protect and fend for them. The exception to this of course is women who are psychologically wounded from past abuse/neglect and are in need of healing.
Teal pretty much nailed the typical male/female relationship and why, more often than not they don’t stay together or if they do, the disharmonious state they’re in. I can think of at least a half dozen people off the top of my head that could truly benefit from knowing the information shared in this video. One thing that could’ve been expanded upon a little more was how if the man is emotionally depleted to begin with, there’s no way that he can provide the trust or safety the woman needs because that requires emotional presence & a person cannot provide that for very long if he’s going into the relationship depleted, needy and hence unable to give. You cannot give something you don’t have emotionally.
@@meredithr9824 'they' dont do it on their own. Raising a kid is supposedly a 2 person job. 'They' are emotionnaly needy in the first place... not because of one person... but 2... And the surrounding, life experiences, blablabla. What was first , the egg or the chicken x)
To build attraction with women I’ve learned over the year to be great at fulfilling 3 areas: 1.) fun (personality, intellect, creativity, funny, physical attractiveness etc…) 2.) security 3.) provider I think all men know these things deep down, the issue is it feels like our chivalry is taken for granted at times in western modern dating culture and therefore isn’t promoted as often.
@@yasaiasazuke Because women don't choose nice men. They choose wealthy men. So the nice men are tired and seek help. Women create problem women cry because of it.
@@yasaiasazuke Hahah of course. That's why I am MGTOW. Hopefully I can resume if stuff goes but to romance but till it's pricy rental of used cars... well I do have my own car and let me assure you riding a car is way more pleasure at this point than dating women. Cars have radios and feeling of free road at night is best of the best.
I remember when I was a kid I was taught to ALWAYS protect women. Then, in college I was taught women dont need men forcprotection. So which one is it? Now we blame men for not understanding and protecting women? I opened the door for a lady to go inside the bank but she looked at me and told me, "Do you think I cannot open my own doors?" So what is the "NEW" standard for being civil?
I don't like guys who think they should be praised for small gestures such as opening doors etc. If you do it with expectations then better don't do it at all.
I think men need to have patience cuz women are finally looking inside individually and collectively and trying to understand lots of denied parts of themselves. Women want to find power in themselves cuz they feel men and society are not trustworthy to make them feel safe. The truth is that women are powerful and resistant to the world's cruelty but live in constant state of hurt and fear and only in harmony with men women can feel actually safe, cuz women have husbands, sons brothers, father... Men are made to provide conditions to women to feel safe, and women are made to create beauty in the world and women's creations make men feel satisfied and emotionally nourished. So the lady get angry with you when you open the door for her cuz she feel fearful of you and she thinks she need to push men away cuz men think that just opening a door is a great thing. And maybe her father was distant and her husband and son at home dont support her feelings Maybe they call her crazy and don't help her at home and make her feel insecure Maybe much of what men do for her is used against her and thrown at herface, so she looks at other men the same way and she thinks she needs to do everything by herself so no men will say: I did this for you, I do that for you, you should be grateful. "We gave you women some rights you never had, see? We are so good to you" What men provide for women is not a favor, is a duty that benefits her and himself. It's a collective feminine crisis and this is good, it is a sign that women are doing their shadow work and men are forced to do it too cuz men are being taken from the position of acceptance from women that they were used to be. Hopefully we will heal together someday.
let me explain this, someone who is disabled and requires a wheelchair for mobility and their transportation needs is going down a street as normal. They're approaching a hill. Some ignorant bystander with the intention of being helpful approaches from behind and starts pushing the chair up the hill as they think the person is struggling and would like help. WRONG MOVE, it's an assumption and people appreciate it when you ask without taking their autonomy away from them. If they say no, as they have done this before and are capable (and feel they are) of doing so again. What if there were reversed gender notions and I started opening up the door for some random able bodied person on the basis of their gender. Bit odd I'd say. You open doors for men with the same intent too? And the women react the way they do because they may feel you are not helping them to be genuine or are doing it unsolidity, but out of obligation for everyone women you see should you be in the mood to put in the effort as you mentioned you were TAUGHT to do. Last word of advice, ASK THE WOMEN IF THEY WANT TO BE PROTECTED OR NOT if you want to avoid such a response. You're the one getting irked over the response. You choose what to do buddy.
As a woman I genuinely do not relate to fear being my baseline. I have rarely experienced stress related to my wellbeing and every time it was actually an invigorating experience, one that calls you to action and you feel fulfilled by acting on it. So..... there's that
You've been lucky. It only takes one experience. I am very happy your baseline is safety. Though that requires a lot of good men in your life from an early age. Or I might be wrong! Some women see life as a challenge and a risk like most men...@@voccessbg5396
Buy her own admissions she says if you ask women they will say they are not in fear all the time. She probably feels it and she's projecting it on all women. Either that or she's saying that all women are lying
Then either you have had a very very blessed life and should reflect on how truly unique your situation is...or you are in denial. I have had difficulty finding a single woman who hasn't had horrible and/or terrifying experiences...
I entered into a relationship (an incompatible one, I might add) and I was so embarrassed when I revealed to my partner how unsafe and distrustful I feel around men. I felt like I was being neurotic and oversharing. Though the relationship didn't work out, in hindsight, maybe I did him a favor by being so embarrassingly vulnerable. Thank you for this video...and the validation.
I sometimes overshare and feel crippling moments of embarrassment. And after I read your comment, I kind of understood that I'm not embarrassed I said it, but I'm embarrassed that I shared something so sacred to my inner child with someone so unworthy of knowing that. What I'm saying is, you did nothing wrong by sharing your feelings.
@@hamishanderson6738 When a woman motivated by fear knows she has power over a situation, you know she is going to flip like a switch and abuse that situation to her heart's content. Women don't understand how much responsibility is required to control yourself when you have the power in a situation. Yet this is what men do all the time. Power under control.
@@young-gi9ny All you need is more WonderWoman. It's not really a gender thing, you just be fooled if you think so. When I was a child, all gang leaders were girls. The boys were just too stupid, they only got helping tasks.
You’re right about a good relationship being one in which a woman feels safe. I married my husband because I felt safer with him and closer to him emotionally than to any other person in my life. But before that I was always attracted to men who were emotionally unavailable and I feel more sexually attracted to men like that. Can anyone else relate to that?
This is exactly the reason I won’t date anymore. On the other hand I feel vulnerable in society at large being single. It’s not easy no matter how you look at it. There are whole countries I wouldn’t go to out of that feeling of not being safe. Everything you said was TRUTH. Thank you💕
I hear you. I won't date either, ever since my wife left me 24 years ago. Even though my kids have grown up and moved out years ago. I can't imagine being betrayed like that again. The only reason I am alive is because I had two kids to take care of.
True: women fear more Also true: fear isn’t weakness, its a survival instinct , which women developed more because society HURTS women for being a woman. (Survival instinct are necessary for survival) In fact the amount of women still go out and fight shows how brave women actually are for a human feeling afraid all the time not because women are weak but society hurts women for “being women” , than it hurts men for committing crimes... In the end you realise that women are Awesome.....
We act like being weak is bad. Meanwhile, we're literally born weak, making weakness fundamental to our existence. We have an unhealthy but valid relationship with weakness.
I was watching an old Joe Rogan segment where he had a behavioral anthropologist on who actually had to explain that women consider the possibility of getting pregnant every time they make the decision to have sex. The other men on the show, including Rogan, were honestly surprised. I was shocked that they were surprised. Now frankly if anyone, ANYONE, has to explain that to men, what freakin hope is there that they could possibly understand the trials and nuances of a woman's emotional life.
Thank you very much for this hint. As a man I have to admid, that this is a blind spot. Maybe we as man trust the woman on a subconcious level in this point. The biology of getting pregnant is the biology of fear and is the point of woman testing men even or especially in relationships. If that is true, (the fear of) woman might change after they lose the ability to get pregnant. The other thing is, how this point changes my thinking about the dating game. The difference between "Do I get a kiss tonight?" and "What if we (as a couple) get pregnant?" is tremendous.
I would think men are just as worried about pregnancy as well. After all, if we get a woman pregnant we’re going to be paying child support for 18 years! I know that when I have sex I’m extremely aware about the possibility of pregnancy
I think the point is that ,are true selves want this deep down inside. According to me , it's ok to support our beliefs and thoughts but it's not ok to become a slave to those thoughts and beliefs . People who become slaves usually never find inner peace . Speaking from experience ,i used to be a slave to politics ,devoting to much of myself into it , seeking a person with an opposing view point but it's never sadisfactory . The main sadisfactory thing in life is allowing ourselves to improve and realising that all people ,even the monsters of this world, have good within them selves and they are no more different from ourselves just with a different experience in life . Hearing them out without judgement and allowing a conversation and not a confrontation , changing their outlook ,that will happen naturally . another sadisfactory thing is allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to people
So between this video and your one about men..... men want to feel needed and women need to feel safe so if the woman needs to trust the man that gives him purpose to that woman and boom trust and the perfect harmony
Yes, but the best person to provide those things is yourself. Seeking completion in someone else is toxic and disempowering. Only when you empower yourself can you find your equal partner (who has done their own healing work) and have a fulfilling healthy relationship.
Yes retrospectively it sounds easy. No wonder enlightened people get the h*ll out of Vegas and never come back to Earth if it's all so simple in the end.
Always staying vigilant and aware of surroundings. That's the life of a girl or woman. The worst was when I was pregnant with my kids. I felt too vulnerable while out in public alone and I take public transit to get around. My spouse drove me to work a lot in the later months of my pregnancies.
Never heard this stated so clearly and explicitly before. Real food for thought, and I will test these concepts in my daily life. As a guy, I almost never feel tangible fear. Challenge yes, but not actual fear. This woman is cool. Teal speaks her well-founded ideas and opinions with conviction and honesty. "New age cult" does not do her justice. She is a person expressing what she has learned about life through insight and intuition. We humans would do well to share more of this with each other. We all hold important wisdom.
So true. I also heard a lot of dating coaches talk about this. But we need more people like her in this world to spread these kinds of messages. This is the way to bring back humanity closer in these times of feminism and every gender trying to prove they are better than another gender. Man and Women are not equal but necessary for society to work properly. Just like food and water. We can't live with only one.
We can live longer without food than water. But in time we will need both. The problem is learning to live together. This woman’s in depth understanding is very unique .
Years ago I dated a girl who was 5'1 tall and probably 110 lbs. Now I'm 6'2" and 235 lbs. so quite a difference in stature. So one day we got to talking about how everyday when she leaves her house she always has to think about possibly being attacked. Now I was shocked because I never, ever have thought about that. And she of course responded why would you... you're a man and you're huge. And later on in our relationship she was attacked by a guy in his car trying to run her off the road. She survived but it was touch and go for a while. Needless to say I have a different mindset about women and how they have to navigate their lives when they are alone out in public.... especially at night.
I realized it for years and my behaviour changed. Now it changes back, because I developed a fear of women and Intimacy with my relationships. - so at the very least, a man still needs a woman, that will not exploit the man emotionally. And that is as rare as a sensitive man.
Men are sensitive beings but yoy can never show this to a women. Once you do that you are no longer the monster that can protect her. For a man it's better to be feared than loved.
How sad is that some men are conciously taking the decission to make their women fear instead of searching for equal respect, it is the easiest option, but there should be no need for that, and even I can understand that out there really there is very bad women that take advantage of men, it might be better to go and search for someone else to understand you. if this woman is uncapable of respecting a sensitive man then walk away. Sensitive men like that are needed as well as understanding women. I have seen in my husband he has been hiding his emotions so much in his life that now it is so hard for him to deal with them whenever they come out. Not all women are bad. You need to be better in order to attract better people to your life, it might take time but it will eventually happen. Good luck and hopes to both. 🙏 I hope this helps.
I've shortly been with a man that made me feel like I was wrong all the time and that my emotions weren't right and valuable. Good thing was that I kinda knew what was going on and that this wasn't a good relationship. But I still had moments where I doubted myself and was afraid of actually being wrong. I watched this video at the perfect timing, as I am analyzing what actually happened in that relationship. And it makes me feel so much better to know that my instincts were right and that he is just emotional very unavailable and unable to provide anything to a woman.
if you look at most of the male comments, they are all like that, telling women we are wrong rather than try to help the situation. Bottom line is: there are not enough good men to go around so most women will better off single..
@@justinnamuco9096 You are right, but the truth is that men need to stop treating women like men. They may scream equality, but they want to be pampered. Trust me - the minute you start treating women with kid gloves, protecting, caring and providing for their needs ahead of time, they will respond very positively.
The same can be said for women that they too need to be tuned in and earn a man's trust! So many men including myself have been betrayed by women to the point where it is difficult if not painful to trust another women!
I have been trying to figure out why my relationship of 14 years stranded.... less than 14 minutes later, I understand why I had to let him go. Somehow it kinda hurts to realize my needs were never met, and I just did not even realize that was the cause of my frustration.
Wow, you nailed that one! I remember having a debate with another woman about this very issue 30 years ago. I argued that women have to make a trust determination every single time they are alone with a man and she absolutely rejected that premise. It is nice to get validation after all these years. Thanks, Teal.
it's possible that she rejected the premise because- as Teal offers here- a constant baseline of fear is such an intrinsic and accepted part of her that she genuinely couldn't see that she was actually *constantly* making safety judgements. or: denial. could always be denial. admitting to a fear requires vulnerability, and vulnerability requires a certain level of strength...
@@2ThineOwnSelf Or you're the one totally projecting into a subject you have zero knowledge of or interest in exploring. If you were interested in exploring the issue and find out the truth , since you doubt her perspective, you be.....wait for it.....exploring the issue. But don't let yourself get caught actually listening to what a woman says about the woman's perspective. If you want the woman's perspective always listen to a man, they not only know everything, their opinions are always more accurate and important, even concerning the emotional experiences of women. You don't even listen to yourself, do you.
@@cynthiajohnson9412 Don't snap at him, he's not attacking you, he's supporting your point and providing an explanation for why the other woman didn't agree with you. Besides, how can you say he's not interested in exploring the subject when he's clearly diving into it, offering alternatives and generating discussion? There's zero malintent from his part.
@@cynthiajohnson9412 What? He wasn't doubting your perspective or hers. He was actually proposing a possible reason that she might reject your premise even though you were right.
As a man, you can accept this that’s true..if a women isn’t self aware of this she will definitely push it away and reject it..seen this too many times in relationships. Great video
I'm actually aware that I feel fear all the time for my safety being a single mom living alone but I just embrace it and deal with it. Nothing I can do. I faced my fear of guns so I can protect my kids if someone tries to break in my house.
Yes to everything you said in this video, Teal! I am pansexual and have had partners of various genders (male, female, non-binary). Safety, trustworthiness, and attunement are absolutely necessary for me to let myself be fully vulnerable and open with someone. Without it, I don't even want to date them. I've been working on becoming more attuned to myself and others and it has helped me find and strengthen other relationships too--like friendships / chosen family. I'm glad you suggested watching your attunement video, because, for me, they are all connected. Without one of these three, I am not calm or satisfied within the relationship. And if I get to the point where I don't think experiencing them with someone is possible, I'm out. I've spent far too much of my life feeling alone/misunderstood. And now that I know what it feels like to be seen, understood, and deeply connected to another person, it's my new standard. I cherish and savor the love in my life so much more now that I've learned how to be and find attunement and safety. My heart feels light even just by typing this.
best indicator of the status of the relationship between a man-woman: the woman's smile when she sees her man across a room ...once the smile fades, the relationship is on the decline!
Thank you so so much for this video Teal. ❤️🦋 it’s helping me so much right now. I officially started my own healing journey, using and going to someone who practices the inner child method that you’ve been sharing for years. It’s been really hard for my partner to understand, (I hope he really does understand, time will tell.) and this video and the one that speaks about men is SO helpful.
For any woman who doesn't relate to this and believe you do not live in fear: conscious caution is subconscious fear. Living in fear your whole life means it becomes your setpoint and you stop noticing it after a while. Fear doesn't look like a constant quaking in your boots and anxiously looking over your shoulder. It looks like locking your doors as soon as you get in your car. It looks like checking to make sure of your surroundings when you're on a run. It looks like a clenching in your stomach as you pass by a group of men. Just because you don't notice it doesn't mean it's not there, it means you are unattuned to yourself and the experiences of the women around you because it is so normalized. How many of you walk freely at night without any care? How many of you feel safe going shirtless in public? How many of you feel fine travelling alone anywhere in the world? Oh, those things are stupid, you say? Even men don't do this things, you say? Yes, men do those things, without a second thought unless they have been traumatized previously. Women are taught from birth not to so those things because they get us assaulted, or followed, or killed, or worse. You absolutely do live in fear, being unattuned to that will not change it.
Thanks Teal for this video!! I had no idea that fear was such an integral part of a woman's life. Often when I go for a walk in the city, I find myself walking behind a woman or going the opposite way of a woman. I can feel the fear, the anxiety, the suspicion, and I try to walk differently so as not to frighten the lady. I also feel sad as I was abused as a child myself, so I have known fear & know what it's like to be afraid, but how to let the woman know I mean no harm, how to walk on without feeling like a criminal? This I don't know, but I thank you Teal for letting me know about this fear, so I can at least be aware of this and be my best in this sad situation. - John
I know it's been a long time since your comment but in case you did want to know what you could do to make a woman feel less anxious in that kind of situation, I have a suggestion. Try to look and/or sound preoccupied by something else, and make your body language such that she feels that you are utterly uninterested in her or didn't notice her presence. As a woman, if I am walking alone at night and see a man walking behind me, I subconsciously check first to see if they took notice of my presence, and if they haven't yet, some instinct says maybe it just hasn't happened *yet.* But if a man is, for example, visibly jamming to music on his headphones or talking to someone on the phone, audibly playing a game on his phone, or in some other way looks like he is too busy to notice me, I feel overwhelmingly safer. If you simply go about your way with a blank stare and avoid making eye contact, it's better than nothing but I would say it doesn't reassure the primal-level fear.
I wish I'd seen this 25 years ago. I'm old, ugly, and having nothing to offer any woman except maybe a laugh. A laugh will only only get you so far. No matter, I'd never let another woman break my heart anyway.
I thought I found someone who I can trust to feel safe with... I shared my experience(s) of rape and in a conversation he said to me “I can understand that being raped once can happen... but more than once?” Made me feel that the first time was not my fault and possible but more than that was in some part something I did to cause it!! I said it took a long time for me and most women to not blame ourselves for it....... and you open your mouth and say that almost undid my mental health!!! Needless to say that ended the relationship because I felt insecure and unsafe emotionally
I was so reliable by providing everything... BUT emotional connection... And the result is divorce... And yes. I was so emotionaly unavailable. You are so right.
@@LadyLuvsYou As a man, i agree with Teal's analysis of how women are biologically and mentally conditioned towards fear and the need for trust, safety/security in relationships with men. However, there is one big issue she glossed over. Generally speaking (Key word: "Generally" not all) when women are young between the ages of 15 to 30, it seems they are rather attracted to confident, aggressive "Bad Boy" types of men. Generally speaking (Key word: "Generally" not all) most men who are confident and aggressive tend to be very unemotional and self centered. On the other hand, there are "Nice Guys" who women between the ages of 15 to 30 always seem to overlook. Generally speaking (Key word: "Generally" not all) most men who tend to be "Nice Guys" are good listeners, empathetic, less aggressive and humble. But these kinds of men tend to be unattractive (boring, predictable) and women would rather engage with the "Bad Boy" types who are attractive (fun, unpredictable). Yet, we all know how the story usually ends. The "Bad Boy" usually breaks her heart and she complains to her "Nice Guy" friend that there aren't any good guys out there in touch with their emotions. All you have to do is a google search (nice guys and women) (nice guys finish last) and you will see thousands of pages that bear witness to this phenomenon especially in the comment sections. So the big question is why do some women (a rather large number but not all women) choose these kinds of men over and over again? My answer: "Bad Boys" make these women feel safe and secure over "Nice Guys" on a Primal Subconscious Level. But "Bad Boys" will also most likely break a woman's heart and not bat an eye. It sucks but it seems to me that is the reality of the vast majority of relationships out there.
@@thomasanderson9247 nice guys usually have no backbone, both types are lacking and given the limited options I see why most girls choose the bad boy (fun times, a level of protection etc). I think the solution is to teach people to be as well rounded as possible when they are young.
Hi Teal, I cannot thank you enough for doing this video. You are so on point. In all my relationships with men plus growing up, it has always been that. Not feeling safe. This video is not only good for men to watch but fathers. Not feeling safe, is, to this day I live with. I am more concern as I have gotten older and not having a man in my life. As we get older this concern/fear I feel runs deeper. It's much harder to trust mens words. I have seen your other videos you recommended, however, worthy of watching them again. Thank you again. Many blessings.
It’s pretty obvious this is how nature works. Good men are supposed to be protectors from bad people and outside threats. It’s been biology for thousands of years. Woah I typed that last line as she said it. Problem is society has brainwashed people by saying everyone is equal and women can do some things as good as men is just not true. Just as men can’t do some things as good as women. We need each other.
Adds a new level of understanding as to why I love when my husband orders food for me at a restaurant- he usually knows what I want better than I do!!!
As a man, making sure that all women in your life feel safe in your presence goes a long way! Family, friendships, business relationships, coworkers and of course intimately! The universe will reward you.
I never really understood what it is that I find attractiv in men. I thought it's just chemistry but now I know it's those men who are protective over others, men who help the weaker ones (women, children, old people, disabled people, animals etc.). Whenever a man steps in to defend someone, I'm instantly attracted to him. It's so true that the best quality in a man is if he makes you feel safe no matter what!
It's rare in "woke" times a woman would frankly admit that! ;)
Well then... Ignore 99% of the opinions about how men should be... especially corporations' commercials :))
What a weird way to base attraction on someone. That sounds a bit superficial honestly... There should be more to male attraction than mere “Oh you defended me! Now I love you for life!” People need better moral guidance... 😒
get a bodyguard :)
@@lucianradusart good one 😂
Last night, I was scared to make the trek alone across a parking lot to my car. At my request, a maintenance guy from the building came and walked with me.
In that 2 minute span, I felt more connected to that man than I have felt to anyone, all year. His role in my life, even if only for a few minutes, was to protect me and keep me safe, and that made him fundamentally attractive in my eyes.
It was, needless to say, a very illuminating walk in the dark. ✨
Awww that is so sweet. I liked reading your story
Irrational fear you have!
@@emilphoryew9436 its because of men like you dummy
Who's to say the maintenance man wouldn't have caused you trouble? What makes him more credible than anyone else?
@@ithinkiknowme6450 No valid argument raised. Just name calling. Very unthoughtful and juvenile of you the reply made to my statement.
women want to feel safe and men appreciated- often we do neither.
Hell yeah on that one sir
Well said.
@@recabitejehonadab2654 lol ye like it's not her business are you need appreciation and respect , she can give no fucks about what you do for her of for world . Zero fucks where given , if she is normal she will have gratitude for your effort if you normal you would want to make her feel good , all else is mental case
@@recabitejehonadab2654 and men are somehow better? Please...
Amazing quote
Thank you Teal, as a single male I had no idea how profound women experience fear. I also noticed how as you spoke how I didn't want to listen to the end of your talk, like I had to force myself to follow along as you spoke, like my social programming just wanted to reject what you were saying, which was also eye opening to me. Thank you again for this new awareness. I will make a conscious effort to make all women around me feel safer & find ways to atune myself better to women needs to lower the fear response women have because of me. Thank you again Teal for these insights into women.
Glad you found meaning from her message, most men would ignore what she is saying but as a woman she is telling the truth about the level of underlying fear that follows us.
I love that. Just yesterday I experienced physical harassment in the subway and it was scary. I dont think the dude was a super bad guy but he was super drunk and he he didn't understand how much his physical touch was scaring and harassing me. Even after I left the subway and got away from the dude..I was in a state of fear until I was home. I was scared he is following me. I'm not going to avoid the subway or always to try to find a safe man who will be my company to in the subway. That would make life limiting and complicated. But the more men become aware and adjust to the fact how scary every day life can be for a women...the better.💕 also if this drunk guy would have knows how much fear women experience....maybe he would have stopped when the first no was expressed.
thank you for your willingness to sit with the discomfort and listen ♥
Even as a women, when she had a video on containment. I almost immediately wanted to shut it off. Because I didn’t like what she was saying, it went against how I was raised and how I was comfortable. But I pushed thru, and in the end also found value and truth. Kudos to you sir for pushing the boundary of comfort. Now imagine if we did those same gestures with life?
Thank god, there are men like you still. I was so disappointed with all the men in the comments reacting so negatively to this.
I work in a nursing home & a few years back I saw a ghost at the facility & it freaked me the hell out & my husband doesn’t even necessarily believe in ghosts but he never called me crazy & after I put everyone to bed he would come to my work & sit with me until midnight when I got off. He still shocks me with how understanding & nurturing he is 🥰
It’s Sid You’re a lucky lady. He sounds like a beautiful man.
I haven't watched this video. I was reading some comments and your emoji about you feeling cared for and loved by your husband, pours some life into my semi cold dark heart.
@@Svyp3r you sound like you have everything figured out already, what are you doing here?
Svyp3r blah blah blah 🙄 after a decade of being together I don’t think he’s just trying to “sleep” with me, but what do I know lol also, I’m not saying what I saw was necessarily real.. the point is he showed great empathy, respect, & understanding. I’m not in need of your relationship advice, but thanks anyway ✌🏻
@@Name-oz4lq *"I’m not saying what I saw was necessarily real.. the point is he showed great empathy, respect, & understanding."*
Boom. 100% correct. Slight modification - I wouldn't call it respect because it is a positive thing like respecting a hardworker for his/her hard work, but I would call it not-disrespect, i.e. something not negative, something polite, sweet and caring.
When I'm walking around a women alone at night, I can always sense the fear radiating out of her and also the way she walks. I would usually try walking in a different direction just to avoid scaring her more
joe mama you are a kind soul to be aware of that fear and make an adjustment. That fear has happened to many women and girls. I will never forget being followed and harassed on my way home from Highschool in Gr 10. It was terrifying. Luckily I ran into a guy I knew and it stopped.
Same thing happened to me in a bustop at night when there was a woman standing. The energy almost made me run away from there.
I totally feel the same. It can even trigger a feeling of guilt when I sense the projection of being some evil creep in the streets.
I’m astounded at some of the suggestions I get from men for places to meet for dates etc. I want to say “haven’t you ever seen 20/20?” Why would I put myself in the position you’re suggesting?
Wow..great vid
I am a woman
And I approve this message
I am a message. And I approve this woman.
Seriously, these simple insights are profound in the era of "men and women are the same" kind of ideologies. I love how Teal recognises how nature has shaped males and females in slightly different ways through endless aeons of evolution, and understanding those differences is crucial in understanding ourselves.
@@infinitydreamzz" i am a message" 😉
Absolutely.
@@Det_313 😜
Well of course you would because it benefits you at the cost of men. Disgusting.
What is a woman?
As a man, thank you for cutting to the chase and speaking the truth. Thank you for this message! 🙏🏼❤️
Thank You
youre welcome
Yes. For me every relationship with a man I have ever been in ended when I felt unsafe, physically or emotionally.
It's easier to not being in a relationship than being in one where you feel unsafe in any manner. The permanent state of anxiety consumes every aspect of our lives, the hypervigilance. No one can live normal in a constant state of survival mode.
and yet you have probably slept with 20+ men, so you didn't really care for safety at all.
It was an unsafe feeling for me to have bedroom sex that she initiated but then watched her swoon over other attractive men, live or on TV.
I didn’t feel safe so I walked. Men have a heart too.
When you say “felt unsafe” do you mean your partner was walking back to the car with you at night and you thought he was gonna kidnap you? Or because he was literally threatening to beat you. Most women have such low standards of men and think we’re all mindless robots of death
You are such a woman
I've always known this .. The best way for a Guy to make a Woman feel safe is to be competent. Have social skills to avoid conflict, know how to physically fight if need be, manage your emotions so you aren't a source of fear. It's the basics to life. It's not about fancy canned lines telling her it's going to be ok... you radiate confidence through competence.
That's how a man would put it.
Women don't bother trying to evaluate competence. They look at the results. Safer, simpler, works every time.
This.
@@vmasing1965 Also this.
@@vmasing1965 laughed a long time. Thanks for this lovely comment
Finally someone says it
You were right. As a man, this is one of the most shocking videos I've watched. But I'm glad I did.
really? what parts shocked you? as a woman, that's heartbreaking to me.
@@Val-rv2xb The fear part. As she said we men don't really fear and think nobody should.
Oh ok. I totally get the fear part. I’m a black woman and when I was younger, I feared black men sometimes (mainly the ones I wasn’t interested in) because they would hit on me and it would be in an aggressive and disrespectful way, and it terrified me. It seemed like they didn’t care if I liked them or felt comfortable with them first. They just went on approaching me however they wanted to. It has emotionally upset me a lot over the years. It was very intimidating. It would make me feel like prey being hunted down by a predator.
I think my lack of aggression has been seen as a lack of confidence that indicates i know i cannot really guarantee anyone's safety with my current abilities to dominate or not. and don't i want someone enough to fight everything for them? I guess it's impractical not to be a good tool. I would like to read minds so i know ahead of time where i don't belong
@echosixnoble Biology man. You cannot escape it. Woman needs a man, not a boy. A confident person who follows his path with determination. Often nice guys are too nice. They don't set the boundaries because they are "nice". They sacrifice their own path for others. Then comes the line "honey is it ok if..." in every turn. If the good guy cannot be assertive in a healthy way, then women seek assertiveness from bad guys. Bad guys don't sacrifice their path, they simply take the woman along for their ride on that path.
That's the unfortunate flaw in female genetics. In a criminal they see a confident guy who follows his own path. They skip the part that the path is against the law and society. But that principle worked well in caves, where there was no laws. The genetic programming needs an update, most likely in men too.
I’ve always been very independent to a fault and as I’ve gotten older I’ve really worked at allowing myself to become more vulnerable and to lean into my feminine energy more. I remember once being on top of this shaky ladder on top of a scaffolding, painting part of a mural at the very top of this building. I had to reach up and felt so uncomfortable. There were a lot of people hanging out watching and I looked down and noticed this man I didn’t know moving purposefully in my direction. He noticed I was uncomfortable and asked if he could help support me. Oh my … I was instantly in love and it was surreal because as he held firmly onto my legs so I felt safe enough to reach up and paint, I understood that this is what it felt like to be supported by a man. I had left a 17 year relationship a year or so before this and I remember wondering what I might be capable of if I had that kind of support in my life.
Another time I remember walking downtown in a city with busy traffic and my boyfriend at the time, firmly took my hand to pull me with him to cross and something about knowing he was being so protective, decisive… it was so masculine, sexy, and incredibly attractive to me.
Unfortunately, I’ve not had many experiences or partners that I felt that kind of support, but just recently I started dating a man -after years of being mostly alone- and he is very protective of me and seems to love taking care of me (something truly foreign to me) and I love it soo much.
One of the sweetest things… I mentioned that I was allergic to certain hot peppers and he instantly and poetically declared he would “stomp the peppers in the fields”… before he’d let them hurt me.. I forget the exact words, but it was quite adorable.
I don’t identify with feeling fear that often, but I am sure that it’s there and I’ve just been conditioned to be brave and strong. I seem to require a VERY strong man and then I can relax and let my guard down..
so sweet and beautiful
women need to watch this video the same way men need to watch the video she did about men!!
I learned sooo much in both videos!
If we would understand eachother given this information, it would be so much easier to find yourself in a healthy fulfilling relationship!
You have good music taste I can tell from Ur username and pfp haha
Thanks for sharing.
I agree 👍💯👍
I truly feel this is what we have to do now - understand each other. And together build a truly egalitarian society. We can't be equal when the society we live in was totally designed and built by men ONLY. We use men's systems for EVERYTHING and believe me there are other systems. The man's system is what I call the "block style" where everything is compartmentalized and scheduled. And the feminine style is spontaneous, in the moment, dynamic. We have lost the ability to feed our newborns from our breast - it's never seen anywhere, never in the movies on in public, it's still considered "obscene". Yet seeing men in killer uniforms (military and police), seeing violence on the movies at every turn, that's perfectly fine, nobody thinks that's obscene. The way we have been twisted by the toxicity of only seeing things through the (predatory) male lens, has got to transform or there will be no hope for women. It's even more misogynist now than it ever has been in my lifetime but now it's more concealed.
Her video about men was completely wrong.
@@DR--- That's an unsubstantiated opinion. You didn't even give your reasons. People who do that are just bloviating. Give your reasons for why she is wrong otherwise your opinion is moot.
As a woman: I never thought about this... But yes: this is what I seek in a man, without me even knowing it :)
Me as well I knew it yet I could never explain it as Teal did so eloquently.
Ofc man has to be god and wizard to read women , when even women had no idea about wtf their existence is about XD
The big mistake she makes is painting women as passive beings who have to look for the 'right man' who can service these needs.
I believe this is the number one thing that actually destroys relationships. Men are not empowered or women disempowered. Men don't react with fight and women with flight. The statistics do not bear out women being the main victims of violence at all.
Women and men are both empowered AND fearful. But often in different ways. Relationships must be approached with equal effort and responsibility, and none of the above assumptions if you want the best chance of success
@Redrustyhill Sad but 100% spot on. Then we must still there and hear them claim to be smarter then us. What a nightmare..😩😩😩
I didn't now! I really feel fear all my life. I didn't now but I separate of the man i had relationship because they where Looking for that I will give them safty and could it not give to my. Wow!I understand so much more and have now the words I needed!
As a woman with Complex PTSD my need for trust and safety is greater than a normal woman without mental health issues. I hope all men see this.
I feel you, woman with cptsd here too. Last man was soo avoidant and unhealed from his past that I disconnected emotionally when he started avoiding me
Omg Yes i feel you... And i loose my mind completely when he shuts down and i feel left alone
Same here. ❤❤
As a warning sign
Your health issues are not our problems. Harsh but true, you need to deal with that yourself any way you can. Therapy, meditation, whatever.
Men have to do the same.
No woman wants a man with health issues.
I love at the end when it is said there's nothing sexier to a woman than a man who makes her safety a top priority. It is so true, and I willingly admit this!
Yet you can look around and all you see is women going for the nerdy skinny guy that couldn’t even protect himself. That proves that this msg is flawed
@@dreday77764 it's because he's less likely to hurt her, or so it seems
@dreday77764 we have learned that gym rats are likely narcissists and not worth the time. They will never make a woman feel safe, even if they look strong. Safety for a woman is an emotional connection, and those guys never understand. So we choose the nerd carrying a 9mm. Simple.
I've noticed they drop that man like a hot 🥔 when the "danger" is over.
Let the 🐺 s eat em lol
My darling girl, don't lie, please. 🙏🏻
I never thought about women from the perspective of their baseline experience being fear. That makes me feel potentially even more useful to women, by being able to create safety for them at every turn. What a beautiful thing! Will carry this forward into my relationships with women the best way I can. Thank you.
This actually brings a tear to my eye. Thank you 🙏
What a fabulous response.
Thank you so much
It's not physical danger only, we need to feel safe from abandonment and betrayal, that feeling of uncertainty will create a stressful environment for us and w can't thrive in this negative space
Some need financial safety, some need affirmation more than financial, it depends on how this woman was raised and what she went through, a wise man is what we want
@@samahsaeed1261 I will pay you to say these exact words to my ex the next time he complains 😂
This woman is so correct. She put into words what I have always felt.
Good to know ! I Think We would have a Better society if These 2 Videos ( What Men need to know about a woman & vice versa ) were shown in High school to All the Kids. Maybe society would be more in tune & respectful for the most part.
@@OcRefrig wow, I wrote this a year ago, thanks for responding so it brought me back to this video.
@@charlenegagnier248 she's highly ironic and she should speak for herself.
I'm a guy, and I agree.
I feel the same way
Thank you Teal. As a man, I know that I have been guilty of not taking my wife’s need for feeling safe as seriously as I should have. Thanks for opening my eyes. I am so appreciative
Same here. I could blame feminism for blinding me to this gender difference but what would be the point?!
@@celiacresswell6909 shifting blame has no point yeah. It's always "the buck stops with me" Even if you did not cause the problem, it's always your (and everyone's) own responsibility to handle it to the best of their abilities.
On the other hand. Realising a once noble cause can be corrupted over time expands your perspective. And understanding you had very reasonable circumstances to come to a wrong conclusion let's you move forward and learn with peace of mind instead of contraproductively self-blame for a lesson not yet learned due to unknown unknowns.
And every woman needs to know that generally most men don't know this.
Well it's not true so that's why men don't know it... I don't think I've ever feared this way and I travel to 3rd world countries alone!
@@SS-gs6tg Agreed!
Yes, we all need to learn to share our deepest truths
I can totally see that, everytime a meet a woman i notice that she's pretty unsafe, closed as if i'm a potencial treat which is understandable. But after a good conversation a good connection takes place depending on the level of safety she's feeling. What i see most men go wrong(including myself) is that they have a really direct and agressive approach towards women which only makes them feel more unsafe not giving place and time for a true connection to be created.
Brilliant 👍🖖
@betty lynch I understand... you're right to need space and time when getting to know someone you're involved with, unfortunately a lot of men out there are lost. They're blind, they can't see a woman as a unique and infinite being, all the they see is an object that is there to be used... missing the best part which is who you truly are. your feeling of unsafeness is perfect, is there to protect you and prevent those situations from happening so keep following your feelings. Thanks for the awesome comment
A women fundamental fear rape and murder as we a physically less strong. Whilst men’s greatest fear is humiliation.
I find your generalisations & homophobia very distasteful.
She's talking about AFTER you get the girl. A woman may like an aggressive man because it can be perceived as being confident. A lot of what she's saying Is just security in general, not of danger, just secure in life. One day me and my girl was waking past the park and I heard 2 gunshots. She's not used to hearing shots, so she thought it was fireworks. As we approached the corner of her block, I saw one of my boys on the ground with half his brains hanging out. Before we actually got to the corner, I told her to walk down the other block, but she refused because she didn't want nothing to happen to me, she said she didn't know what she'd do if she lost me. Til this day she can't walk past that corner, she always crosses the street. Had she listened to me initially and walked around the other block, she wouldn't have this" fear." This was in 2010. I know I diverted from the subject, but I think it's talking about after you get the girl.
This is so true. I suppress my fear so that I can do daily things like putting gas in my car, crossing a parking lot or answering the door when I expect a delivery. I am afraid though I know because I am alert and my senses increase. When I am with a man I love and trust the feeling of safety is intoxicating. I agree it’s my #1 need. To feel safe.
@@gabbsdy8741 If you live in the West, you're living in the most pampered, safe, protected and policed environment that has ever existed in human history.
@@gabbsdy8741 One way would be (and many will disagree on this) scrap the known concept of prisons. Bad company destroys good habits. Prisoners enter as bad (or unfortunate) persons and later come out as even worse ones. If they would spend time instead with grannies and friendly, joyful people it would actually change a person for the better.
@@gabbsdy8741 lmao
@@gabbsdy8741 exactly, who is going to protect you from the man you choose to bring in your life? You are never safe really
@@zhhrah this comment is so on point. Accurate AF. Bad company destroys good habits.
If you're a guy and you're watching this video thinking "Then why are women attracted to bad boys who cheat or emotionally abuse them while nice guys are left in the dust?"
Teal's explanation is only half of the story. Most bad boys will (usually) act physically aggressive to everyone except her. A nice guy can be trusted not to strike her, but he's not trusted enough to protect her because nice guys are generally pushovers, which decreases attraction. Bad boys will also lie about cheating in order to protect her emotionally, and most of the time they get away with it until they get caught, at which point she won't feel safe anymore and she'll likely leave.
The best compromise? Be the bad boy with a good heart. Learn MMA or boxing but hope you never have to use it, and don't be a pushover with anyone (including her). That's the most idealistic version of a man who is both capable of protecting a woman and trusted enough not to cheat on her.
Never thought about it like that but totally makes sense!
@Dan when are we getting married ? 😂😂😂
@@selmaharizi4685 Depends on where we want to get married.
Absolutely.
@Dan
Interesting take on this!
Going by your comment, is it save to say then, you're the bad boy that went through the 'car wash' and has come out exactly as the 'ideal' compromise you've decribed in this post?
And has it been difficult to change your ways?
I agree with a lot of what you're saying, except for the part about "protecting a woman emotionally by not telling her when you cheat on her." I understand the rationale behind it, but isn't it mainly to be having your way with another woman without bearing the consequences? And thus, first and foremost out of self interest?
If I'm wrong here, I'm very curious as to how not telling her about your infidelity is done with the sole intend of protecting her emotionally. Further, in my own experience, men sometimes conflate being kind to a woman with pleasing her all of the time.
The latter is usually deemed a lot less attractive, while being genuinely kind to a woman is usually seen as attractive by most women. Especially if she feels you really mean it. Another one being, agreeing with everything she's suggesting. Which is a bit of a problem if you genuinely agree with her on all of her suggestions. 'Cause then you have to suddenly hold your ground and act all tough over having a peanut butter sandwich before grabbing a beer by the sea. "This man is not having this! I will go with you to the beach and have a couple of beers. But I will refuse this peanut butter sandwich! Period!!!😎😂
Cheers!
As a man, I didn't expect my mind to be so fundamentally blown ever again as with this info about women's fear. I cannot fathom how this must feel all the time for you women! I am truly totally fearless most of the time when walking alone somewhere. When I rarely feel a little fear when walking in the dark it is even enjoyable and exiting for me!
Very seldom this emoji is so absolutely perfect: 🤯
So true, right? I also was very surprised and now i feel so much more empathy for women cause i understand better how they function and suddenly i actively wanna make them feel safe. I thought they just feel unsafe when walking alone at 2 am in the ghetto or when someone creepily walks behind them. Now i feel the urge to give women respect just for making it through the day.
Really?? Your mind is blown away by this? My mind is blown away that you didn’t even realise this in the first place
@@dreday77764 maybe we have to rewrite psychology then because a fear based disorder is obviously something very different for men and women.
Congratulations on never losing your v card, simp
@@mysticdove8 no you dont. You need to stop living in fear based on false hoods. You have been programmed since you were young to live in fear despite all evidence stating that its men who should not women. Men are attacked and or killed far more often in public.
I used to have a dear boyfriend who im still good friends with who would always say to me, "Im here with you! You got me n i got you. Your safe now!" Then he'd hold me close and gently. It was such a comfort and i trusted him with my heart and body more then any other man i have had a relationship with. He grew up in a family as the one boy amongst many sisters. So i feel he saw, heard and understood their fears as they were growing up together.
Once we men understand what Teal Swan says and what makes a woman feel safe with us AND in our absence... it´s an incredible feeling what we get by her receiving our care.
"The true power of a man is the size of the smile of the woman next to him"
the woman in you profile pic is smiling pretty big, so thanks for being on her side :)
Yes, exactly, men should also know that they are showered with love and affection, basically blessed with all her feminine energy, when she feels protected by that man.
You are absolutely correct.
@@lemmings6516 yeah i agree
Pathetic
I was gonna say, there are a whole lot of women living in denial of their actual experience... but you brought it up... Thanks for being thorough.
As a man, i agree with Teal's analysis of how women are biologically and mentally conditioned towards fear and the need for trust, safety/security in relationships with men. However, there is one big issue she glossed over.
Generally speaking (Key word: "Generally" not all) when women are young between the ages of 15 to 30, it seems they are rather attracted to confident, aggressive "Bad Boy" types of men. Generally speaking (Key word: "Generally" not all) most men who are confident and aggressive tend to be very unemotional and self centered.
On the other hand, there are "Nice Guys" who women between the ages of 15 to 30 always seem to overlook. Generally speaking (Key word: "Generally" not all) most men who tend to be "Nice Guys" are good listeners, empathetic, less aggressive and humble. But these kinds of men tend to be unattractive (boring, predictable) and women would rather engage with the "Bad Boy" types who are attractive (fun, unpredictable).
Yet, we all know how the story usually ends. The "Bad Boy" usually breaks her heart and she complains to her "Nice Guy" friend that there aren't any good guys out there in touch with their emotions.
All you have to do is a google search (nice guys and women) (nice guys finish last) and you will see thousands of pages that bear witness to this phenomenon especially in the comment sections.
So the big question is why do some women (a rather large number but not all women) choose these kinds of men over and over again? My answer: "Bad Boys" make these women feel safe and secure over "Nice Guys" on a Primal Subconscious Level. But "Bad Boys" will also most likely break a woman's heart and not bat an eye. It sucks but it seems to me that is the reality of the vast majority of relationships out there.
@@thomasanderson9247 Easy: Girls who go for bad boys usually have a lot of inner restrictions due to their social and cultural upbringing - they are not allowed to be bad, free, break the rules, have no responsibilities, be strong, rude, aggressive ect. So when they meet a bad boy - they feel strongly attracted, because that's their rejected inner self and by loving the bad boy they indirectly integrate thei inner bad girl, that's been banned from their personality.
They same goes with the bad guys or guys, who love bad girls.
That's not the problem. What you're saying is an example for the basic law of attraction and subconsciously trying to integrate your broken pieces.
So we're back at square 1: Girls and boys should be treated and brought up with an open mind and not based on how a "boy/girl should be", allowing them to find their own form of inner empowerment so that they grow up with a strong sense of self. That's how you get strong women and men and can actually get a chance at healing this gender pathology we've got going on for centuries now.
@@thomasanderson9247 Yes, the assessment criteria appears to be entirely superficial. Easily fooled and manipulated too. I think many women disown their part in calculating value because they don't like to think of themselves as making decisions like that. They prefer to think of themselves as driven by emotion or even fated to be with someone rather than as having the power to choose. In rejecting the conscious part of the selection process they defer to reflex and end up instantly drawn to the person who's invested the most in their "I'm an Alpha. I'm intimidating to others." act. In social groups women take on the status of their male by simple association and being with the most dominating person is a much safer social position than being in opposition or in competition with them. However... that's chimpanzee behaviour!. Humans don't have to think like that under normal conditions.
A woman who is more aware of her own power can look at her options through the filter of any number of hierarchies that aren't bound to the immediate physical environment or through the lens of a more personal set of hopes and desires that truly reflect her own life's story...
It IS fear that takes the better options and decision making away but denial also because the act of acknowledging that fear is leading us down a particular path can create an opportunity to consciously give some other aspect of ourselves a turn in the driving seat.
Unfortunately, people have gotten so good at believing in themselves and feeling confident in what they are doing that they will rarely take the time to question their own behaviour or choices, even in retrospect. Even self belief has become fear driven!
@@GrahamMilkdrop looks to me like you have some issues with your own "bad boy" stuff. In my opinion people are naturaly both(good guy,bad boy) ... we must integrate both of those aspects,debating about it and feeding the intellect wont do much for you.the best way is just to "get in there" and get dirty
@@nejczupan That was certainly a huge issue for me growing up. It is not uncommon for males my age, growing up with that strong anti male message, to have vowed to be 'different' to the image of masculinity that we were presented with... and then to have suffered the abuse, disrespect and plain cruelty that inevitably comes to people who are 'too nice'. And what a horrible thing it is to have had our own goodwill used to set us up to fail. Brutal. But I was mostly dealing with that 15 years ago.
My comment about female denial of experience is not from the perspective of someone who is also in denial... at least not to that extent. It is from active observation... specifically of a woman who had successfully bought into her own dreams only to have her fears destroy them because she couldn't acknowledge they were there. The belief system that she had adopted leaned heavily on superficiality and the times that she couldn't genuinely believe in herself she gravitated towards super-superficial confidence... the kind that people learn by watching "10 body language tips for getting what you want...' videos on UA-cam. She would even say how disingenuous it was of her, but she just could not stop... It was a reflex. There were a number of women involved in the situation at the time and they all had that same 'desperate-self-belief' thing going on, some to an even greater extent... reaching personality disorder levels. Seriously... things got insane!
So, I guess what I am trying to say is that in this case my issue is far less to do with how I feel about 'bad boys' and more to do with having witnessed the way people cover up their own fear with superficial displays of confidence and how superficial relationships feed into their denial. It is definitely a thing! (For bad boys too)
Absolutely true!!! She is spot on! There is nothing more attractive and desired by a woman than to have a man who is emotionally available and is capable of protecting her and making her feel “safe.” And when I mean safe, it’s not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.
Also trust is a must! I can’t fall in love with a man whom I can’t trust. And even if I had that trust before, if it’s been violated, I cannot fall back in love with him again.
What does she need to be protected from ? That's what the real issue is.
Wow Teal! I was watching this with my boyfriend and it is exactly how you say! He is the only man ever that made me feel completely emotionally and physically safe and this is the best relationship I've ever had! He was really touched by your video because we literally talked about this topic just before watching. He feels so empowered and masculine when he feels that I feel safe with him. He is absolutely atuned to me and can sense when I am feeling afraid or triggered. I am a outgoing person and no other men ever realised how much safety I needed - they simply couldnt feel it. I will share this with all my girlfriends because I think that many women are not aware that their basic experience is fear and what they should look for in a man. You are incredible, keep up the good work!
where did you meet
Are you still with him?
God has not given us a spirit of fear.
Fear comes from Satan and the fallen angels. I often times help male strangers when I am alone. I have even given them rides in my car. I don't fear for my safety because I know that God's purpose for my life is to help needy people. I have never been hurt by any of these men, even when 1 of them had a machete on him. God and his angels keep me protected. If God is for me, no one can be against me. 😇
The problem those types of men are becoming rare. Men only think about their needs and get frustrated but as teal said a women can't get arouse until they feel safe a man refuses to do anything but chase his desire
@@chuckwilliams4569 Yes, we're getting married soon!
This was one of the main reasons that I left my husband after 23 years marriage. I never felt he was supportive or had my back. I became that independent strong female. This was 10 years ago, and I learned we weren't compatible. Hes a good man but not good for me. I need to feel that safety, support, and trust from a man. Men I've met tweek that inner gut feeling of not being able to meet these needs. Something feels off early in the relationship, and I cannot feel close to them, or feel trust. These men are dismissive and think I'm being dramatic or behaving " like all the other women ". I suspect I'm hyper sensitive because I was let down in my marriage and in my childhood by my parents. After a few bad short-lived relationships I know how I want to feel around a man. Teal is right. I want to feel safe, trust, supported, understood.
Her explanation of BDSM relationships was soooo eye opening! Of Course they are just extreme levels of trust. Bless you Teal.
Ewwwww.
@@reginasemenenko148 How very grown up of you.
Men think about this slightly differently. Idk if I should even bring up the idea.
@@justinnamuco9096 That would scare the bejesus out of me.
@@mattporteous5750 to be mature, we first have to be immature.
Nature of the beast.
My 5-year relationship with the kindest, gentle, most handsome man I have ever met is ending. This video, plus the one on containment, explains exactly, or at least mostly, why. Thank you, Teal. I was reluctant to think that you, so beautiful and young, could have any wisdom to share with this old crone who has done her fair share of shadow work. How wrong was I!
My life changed since Ia admitted my fears and constant anxiety and be open about it. Strangely enough, men’s feedback to me is that it makes me look like I know exactly what I want, it makes me more feminine than other women they met and that they know they need to meet certain standards in order for me to deem them worth my time. What also happened is that I’ve been treated better ever since, all the while becoming more independent and climbing up in my career progress.
Being authentic and true to yourself is powerful and rewarding. Im still peeling off layers of my scars and wounds to work on it. It may seem harder especially if you’re in a society that praises modern feminism.
All true! Interesting experience, I've just started to open up about my feelings and being more vulnerable and wondered how men wouldn't react to that. So far my ex bf dismissed my emotional openness but I sure will be better off if I state my needs openly to men I encounter.
Its a good feeling to hear transparent communication from a woman, it makes it much easier to know her likes and dislikes, i also feel good that she feels safe around me. When a woman is closed off is kind of eeerie feeling, its like she hold grudges and makes theories about me in her mind, and i start to feel guilty for doing nothing lol.
Feminism is what allows you to be on the internet expressing your opinion. You're welcome!
@@juliadarling3404 if you turn it around it becomes quite obvious: how are you to have a relationship where you cant openly talk about your feelings? that sounds so wrong.
@@Phantom-ez4zv its so nice right? its a total win-win. she feels safe and i feel masculine.
You are completely right, I’ve even noticed that women are more drawn to me when I am present also. Because being present helps you attune into others and feel them deeply.
Ancient Bloodline of Light VERY ASTUTE!!! Yes!
Honestly, even you just saying that...
jen linds How so? That is interesting...
Alana Glaser That’s true, although the last part you can’t speak for all women, because many couples are gamers and play together; but I understand where you’re coming from.
Ancient Bloodline of Light It seems redundant, yet being aware of your presence & others response to your presence. I feel much of society (including myself) ‘forgot’ this deep human connection of Oneness & especially the power of this connection with the masculine & the feminine energies. There is something of the feminine energy which relishes & releases in this presence & awareness from the masculine energy (I felt it in your energy.) It feels like when the masculine energy is aware of itself & present, it steps into its natural roles which allows the feminine energy to quit trying to protect itself & it returns to its feminine roles. It’s a much appreciated abandonment of a role feminine energy has tried to take on to protect itself in an unbalanced world. When this is done it feels balance is restored. The feminine & masculine can return to the flow & feed each other once again.
I’m shook!... I thought what the hell are you talking about, I’m not scared. And then I remebered that not two hours ago at work I removed a small knife, that I use to open packages for retail, from my sleeve. I stand behind a counter and I became aware that someone could easily grab the knife and hold it against my throat.
Now you could say that this has nothing to do with being a woman and it’s just part of doing this job. But it’s not that thought that has me triggered now. It is the reaction I had to that thought, I treated it like any other, because I am actually so used to thoughts like this. And to be honest it scares me now thinking about this, about all the moments that I am terrified. I’m even on edge when I cycle through my dutch small village with only 7500 inhabitens. That’s insane... That that apparently is normal for us...
I remember when my ex told me, “I bet you thought you were safe with me. Well you were wrong.” Stayed with him for another year as the situation devolved into a hell scape. Should have left when he first warned me.
Oh no, that sounds really scary. I'm sorry! You got out alright?
@@alllscination yes, eventually!
I'm so sorry you didn't give yourself enough love to protect yourself from that. I hope you are seeing your worth now, Goddess.
That moment when you realize that you've literally done everything wrong.
Trust me man you're not the only one. Not by a long shot haha. Here's to a better year, yeah?
@@DandyZero You're right. I'll make up for it, though. I know I will. Cheers, to a better year!
Tell me qbout it
@@walkerchino I'll be honest.. I failed to make her feel understood, listened to.. I failed to make her feel safe and like she can talk to me. I failed to show her how much I actually love her.
I failed to show her that it's okay to feel the way she does and to act the way she acted. And every time I think about it I start crying because now I feel all the pain I caused her and because I'm afraid I broke something her and I could never find again.
@@7heVoiD1 Dont worry, it's nothing that can't be healed. People have been healed from serious mental trauma before and yours doesn't sound like it. Ain't easy if you ain't got the tools, but Teal's making it easier for us. Dont beat yourself too hard for it, you need to keep living to make things better.
What she said I have messed up sooooo many times.im a dude through and through
My chick is a chick .
I have to stop calling her insane.
Thanks teal.great message
Growth started the day you posted this. Cheers to you.
why do i feel like crying watching this? it hits too close to home..
I feel you love~*~
Me too. I am just crying 😭
Crying. And I always thought I was the toughest girl
100% correct. Quite tired of being "strong". Been feeling unsafe my whole life. I'm dreaming of moment when I will be feeling safe. Even that one relationship I allowed myself into, on my gut level I was never feeling safe and connected as I deserve. Now being single, doing the shadow work, digging and owning my own darkness is my way of dealing with this "feeling unsafe". I have to know everything, because no one ever talked to me, no one, or show interests in me in the most generous way. Taking power back to me, that being said, this year was one of the most transformative ones. It's like having 1 year. I never lived before. Never felt I have the right to. On my way to acknowledge and hug that hurt masculine (and feminine) energy within myself. To meet myself in wholeness. To heal=whole. 💚🙏
"...as I deserve..." sure, go collect the Universes debts to you. :D
You are an inspiration!
When I was a freshman an college I went to a frat party with a group of guy friends. At one point in the night I had lost track of all of them and I couldn’t find them anywhere, no one was answering their phone. I was terrified, my night turned from fun to horror as my 100 lb intoxicated self wove through crowds of drunk men praying I wouldn’t be noticed by the wrong person before I found a familiar face. Eventually I figured out they had all left the party and went to a bar without me. So I walked to the bar by myself in order to find them and when I got there I reprimanded them. But the night was relatively young so I loosed up and let myself enjoy it again. My friends were sitting at the bar and I was on the dance floor, I could see them and they could see me, and so everything was okay again until it was closing time and I look over to see all of my friends already making their way towards the exit, seemingly leaving without me yet again. I was furious, I yelled at them to stop, cursed a bit, and the entire walk home I was cold as ice. And when we got back to the dorm it wasn’t an apology I got from them for leaving me twice and causing me so much anguish, they told me they were mad at ME for yelling at them in public and that I am an “adult” and it’s not their responsibility to take care of me. Needless to say I cut all of them off that night and made better friends.
Edit: for those saying maybe they didn’t want to be with me, first it was known to all my friends that I hosted a pregame at my dorm every weekend and anyone who wanted to come could come, I didn’t force them to come to my dorm and go out with me they came of their own volition, it was a regular affair. Second, it’s basic human decency to care about the wellbeing of your friends, are you leaving your boy passed out on the sidewalk or are you carrying him home? If that’s your gf in this situation are you blaming her for getting drunk bc “drinking is dangerous for women” or are you mad at her friends for leaving her vulnerable? And lastly, a few of them did come to me and apologize after the fact because they recognized their error and wanted to continue to be friends, they didn’t hate me they just didn’t understand because that’s not the male experience.
Sad. Now you know, if people leave you behind once.....you shouldn't follow them anywhere after that.
Being drunk is not safe. They are not your keeper.
@@zinab2blessa : Yes. Men in reality like being the "Masculine" figure. Men like being the protective ones. But the third wave of feminism has Forced men into this "Oh okay, you can do it all by yourself, imma let you do it all by yourself" attitude. Men nowadays are seen as "perverted sexual predators" as a defacto standard.
@@Shasha8674 1. Yes, being drunk is not safe. Especially for women. Very true.
2. You don't understand women. At all.
Maybe you're a liability and thats why they left you the first time. Take a hint.
I love how Teal blesses us with bombs of absolute truth then closes the video with “have a good week” like it was nothing 😂🙏🏽💗
This video made me cry. I always thought I was weird or fucked up for always being scared of the world, scared of showing my true colors and my vulnerability. Turns out I'm brave! That is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard and I really needed that! Thank you!
I experienced a little compassion for myself when I heard that part too. I'm brave! You're brave! Also, I like when Teal reminds us/describes that we're in the emotional dark ages. If we could come back years from now, and see how we're doing it now (compared to what would actually work for us), then our current treatment of each other (emotionally) would be the barbaric equivalent of "bleeding" people or slavery or believing the earth is flat. Suggestion: Watch ua-cam.com/video/zBONY25QEXk/v-deo.html for "What We're All Really Looking For."
"scared of the world"
What are you, a child?
" scared of showing my true colors"
So you're a liar?
"my vulnerability"
You have anxiety that you need to work on.
"Turns out I'm brave!"
How? Because someone who doesn't know you said so?
Abla I feel with you. Society has shamed people badly for feeling vulnerable thus there are so many people who will shame anyone for saying true things. You are not alone. And together gradually we are making the world a better place to exist in.
@@nickidaisyreddwoodd5837 Being vulnerable is not going to make the world a better place. It's like you're proud of your fear.
@@MoonwalkerWorshiper Have sympathy for other humans,when you leave your door in the morning if you have one,are you guaranteed a safe return home if you have one?☠💀🚪
Teal just casually described how most men treat most women hhhhhh. Thank you so much for voicing my own deepest shame. That I as a woman, cannot accept the fact that I live in a perpetual state of fear. And that I fail to notice just how much bravery there is in the fact that I'm still living.
I watched my mom live in utter terror all her life and it made me hate life.
all the best ua-cam.com/video/UGmADfU5HGU/v-deo.html
Lol
Her choices!!
I can relate to that.
Wow, thanks for sharing.
fear for my physical and emotional safety absolutely defined how I made choices in life and making them from a place of fear only manifested them time and time again into my reality. At the age of 55, that fear is no longer there to that degree, so my life unfolds in a more creative, powerful way. I'm doing my best to teach my 19-year-old daughter this awareness and that is all I can do... make her aware and yet watch with joy all the mistakes she makes as they lead her to understand this even deeper. thank you, Teal
This comment needs to be at the top 💛
Life is so less scary to me now at 37 than it was at 19, hopefully 55 will be even better! Thanks for the encouraging comment!
This has ENTIRELY changed my perception of what a healthy relationship actually is and should look like. I feel like I understand myself in a completely different way.
... oh , if I'd heard this 50 years ago ...
but the times they are achangin ' ... thanks for being the most solid teacher for the evolution of the spirit of mankind on any public platform that I am aware of , Miss Swan .
My heart beats with you and your team .
God , you're good !
So many people actually love you because of the purity of your spirit .
Your wisdom is sublime .
Just ... thanks !!!
Wow.This was a real eye opener. I only thought it was maybe 10% true but it literally explains everything.
Telling yourself you're not afraid, or illegitimizing your own feelings, crushing it back into your subconscious- hurts.
Making communities safer, having a healthy group of friends, knowing you are needed- helps.
Feelings can't always be allowed to run amuck though. If you constantly allow yourself to be governed by your feelings and emotions, you'll get yourself into a world of trouble. Because if unchecked it always results in "I want this, I need that, I want I want I want I need I need I need, me me me me me." That's the surest recipe of unhappiness.
Sometimes you must take a step back from all your swirling feelings, and apply some logic and self discipline, and most of all self distance.
Thank you for explaining how women feel. I feel this and sometimes blame myself for my expectations of men that arent met.
One of the most fearful things to do as a woman is to have to take public transportation in a dangerous metro at night. As a woman, I had to do this to go back and forth from work, for the sake of my family's income, as my husband's car had irreparably broken down and he did not work at a place where there was public transportation. Therefore he used my car for many months, while saving for another car, until my car also broke down. We had to rent a car to go to a dealership to buy new used cars. I believe my cortisol levels were out of control, and I felt he should have taken care of the situation much sooner and expressed more remorse about exposing me to nightly walks and drunks and places even security was afraid to monitor in the light rail stations. If there was noise in the basement, I was the one who had to go downstairs with the baseball bat to see if anyone was down there. I told him, "I want to be the girl," and he thought I was joking, but I was very serious.
I wouldn't say I'm in fear all of the time. Maybe once or twice a year I have moments when im unsure of my safety, but I think it has a lot to do with our bringing up and how we've been treated through out our life.
Yes you right 💯,... But as she said also women often don't notice it, because its subconscious 🙏💚💯
@Flowered Sentiments Everytime I go out I am wary especially at night. Of course I think about other things at the same time but I make sure to hear or see everything around me. Every men is a potential treat to me and I never had any types of violence done to me by a man in my entire life.
If it's dark and there is a man walking near her, come on, every women fear something might happen to them right? And this scenario happened to every women.
To give another exemple if a stranger ring the bell to my house I won't open if I'm alone. And I live in a safe place
we have become so accustomed to operating from fear that it doesn't even register in our minds...Its always not full-blown panic, but smaller things like being hypervigilant of who is walking near you at night, feeling uncomfortable and closed off when a man approaches you, worrying why your date is not calling you back when he said he would, feeling frantic when you can't see your kid at the park, stress when your partner doesn't come home when he's usually does (is he cheating? was he in an accident?). It's not just fear for safety but fear of abandonment, loss, betrayal, deception, etc.
@@madisonhealey I agree exept for the jealousy part I think it comes more from a lack of self esteem than female nature, not every women has fear of abandonment, I don't.
@@thisisntallowed9560 I would argue almost everyone has a fear of abandonment to different degrees. This is because we are a social species, and if we are rejected by others and left (especially as a child) we would die. This is the reason breakups, loosing friends, and loss of loved ones is so emotionally painful and why we are then afraid of it. It's not always at the front of your mind and its not necessarily a predominant fear. Some have this fear worse than others, of course.
It really means that if you’re are emotionally unavailable you’re unfit to have a relationship .
Yes but keep in mind also we men are unfit to be in a relationship if we are too available, bro. It´s because then she doesn´t feel this charismatic masculine energy emanating from us, the spark in our being which actually makes us men sexy because it indicates we are self-sufficient in life.
Or in other words: an emotionally intelligent beggar is still not attractive to women
@@howmathematicianscreatemat9226 what?
@@howmathematicianscreatemat9226 - This is true, yes. But only in a certain population of women, primarily in their early 20s, still naive and not really looking for anything serious. A woman looking for her forever after will not be attracted to men who make her feel unsafe (by being emotionally unavailable in this example), because she needs to know that when she is vulnerable, like when she is with child or nurturing small children, her man will be there to protect and fend for them. The exception to this of course is women who are psychologically wounded from past abuse/neglect and are in need of healing.
Righttt
@@Ana-rb7ws early 20s is all that matters. What age can humans breed at?
Teal pretty much nailed the typical male/female relationship and why, more often than not they don’t stay together or if they do, the disharmonious state they’re in. I can think of at least a half dozen people off the top of my head that could truly benefit from knowing the information shared in this video. One thing that could’ve been expanded upon a little more was how if the man is emotionally depleted to begin with, there’s no way that he can provide the trust or safety the woman needs because that requires emotional presence & a person cannot provide that for very long if he’s going into the relationship depleted, needy and hence unable to give. You cannot give something you don’t have emotionally.
Allyson Sixx yes, men need to learn how to meet their emotional needs because so many men are emotionally needy
And then they can't give emotional security to thier kids and the cycle continues.
very true and very good point!
@@meredithr9824 'they' dont do it on their own. Raising a kid is supposedly a 2 person job. 'They' are emotionnaly needy in the first place... not because of one person... but 2... And the surrounding, life experiences, blablabla.
What was first , the egg or the chicken x)
To build attraction with women I’ve learned over the year to be great at fulfilling 3 areas:
1.) fun (personality, intellect, creativity, funny, physical attractiveness etc…)
2.) security
3.) provider
I think all men know these things deep down, the issue is it feels like our chivalry is taken for granted at times in western modern dating culture and therefore isn’t promoted as often.
It took me years and 50 books to understand this. And finally at the top of my masculinity I understood femininity. Thanks brilliant video
Forreal tho.
Thank You for putting this out. Most men do not believe how often a woman is afraid for her life or angrily harassed. This video is so good.
@Darcy M. Royce
Lol
@@yasaiasazuke
Who TF are you talking to, jackass?
@@yasaiasazuke Because women don't choose nice men. They choose wealthy men. So the nice men are tired and seek help. Women create problem women cry because of it.
@@yasaiasazuke Hahah of course. That's why I am MGTOW. Hopefully I can resume if stuff goes but to romance but till it's pricy rental of used cars... well I do have my own car and let me assure you riding a car is way more pleasure at this point than dating women. Cars have radios and feeling of free road at night is best of the best.
I remember when I was a kid I was taught to ALWAYS protect women. Then, in college I was taught women dont need men forcprotection. So which one is it? Now we blame men for not understanding and protecting women? I opened the door for a lady to go inside the bank but she looked at me and told me, "Do you think I cannot open my own doors?" So what is the "NEW" standard for being civil?
I don't like guys who think they should be praised for small gestures such as opening doors etc. If you do it with expectations then better don't do it at all.
ALWAYS protect women :)
I like guys opening doors or bottles for me. I can do most things myself but I feel feminine when a man offers :)
I think men need to have patience cuz women are finally looking inside individually and collectively and trying to understand lots of denied parts of themselves.
Women want to find power in themselves cuz they feel men and society are not trustworthy to make them feel safe.
The truth is that women are powerful and resistant to the world's cruelty but live in constant state of hurt and fear and only in harmony with men women can feel actually safe, cuz women have husbands, sons brothers, father...
Men are made to provide conditions to women to feel safe, and women are made to create beauty in the world and women's creations make men feel satisfied and emotionally nourished.
So the lady get angry with you when you open the door for her cuz she feel fearful of you and she thinks she need to push men away cuz men think that just opening a door is a great thing.
And maybe her father was distant and her husband and son at home dont support her feelings
Maybe they call her crazy and don't help her at home and make her feel insecure
Maybe much of what men do for her is used against her and thrown at herface, so she looks at other men the same way and she thinks she needs to do everything by herself so no men will say: I did this for you, I do that for you, you should be grateful. "We gave you women some rights you never had, see? We are so good to you"
What men provide for women is not a favor, is a duty that benefits her and himself.
It's a collective feminine crisis and this is good, it is a sign that women are doing their shadow work and men are forced to do it too cuz men are being taken from the position of acceptance from women that they were used to be.
Hopefully we will heal together someday.
let me explain this, someone who is disabled and requires a wheelchair for mobility and their transportation needs is going down a street as normal. They're approaching a hill. Some ignorant bystander with the intention of being helpful approaches from behind and starts pushing the chair up the hill as they think the person is struggling and would like help. WRONG MOVE, it's an assumption and people appreciate it when you ask without taking their autonomy away from them. If they say no, as they have done this before and are capable (and feel they are) of doing so again. What if there were reversed gender notions and I started opening up the door for some random able bodied person on the basis of their gender. Bit odd I'd say. You open doors for men with the same intent too? And the women react the way they do because they may feel you are not helping them to be genuine or are doing it unsolidity, but out of obligation for everyone women you see should you be in the mood to put in the effort as you mentioned you were TAUGHT to do. Last word of advice, ASK THE WOMEN IF THEY WANT TO BE PROTECTED OR NOT if you want to avoid such a response. You're the one getting irked over the response. You choose what to do buddy.
As a woman I genuinely do not relate to fear being my baseline. I have rarely experienced stress related to my wellbeing and every time it was actually an invigorating experience, one that calls you to action and you feel fulfilled by acting on it. So..... there's that
@@mysticdove8Europe.
i appreciate your comment. As a guy, I have experienced this "feminine" fear. Gendered thinking and traits are a spectrum
You've been lucky. It only takes one experience. I am very happy your baseline is safety. Though that requires a lot of good men in your life from an early age. Or I might be wrong! Some women see life as a challenge and a risk like most men...@@voccessbg5396
Buy her own admissions she says if you ask women they will say they are not in fear all the time. She probably feels it and she's projecting it on all women. Either that or she's saying that all women are lying
Then either you have had a very very blessed life and should reflect on how truly unique your situation is...or you are in denial. I have had difficulty finding a single woman who hasn't had horrible and/or terrifying experiences...
I entered into a relationship (an incompatible one, I might add) and I was so embarrassed when I revealed to my partner how unsafe and distrustful I feel around men. I felt like I was being neurotic and oversharing. Though the relationship didn't work out, in hindsight, maybe I did him a favor by being so embarrassingly vulnerable. Thank you for this video...and the validation.
I think it's important that you did and he's probably a little bit better because of it.
I sometimes overshare and feel crippling moments of embarrassment. And after I read your comment, I kind of understood that I'm not embarrassed I said it, but I'm embarrassed that I shared something so sacred to my inner child with someone so unworthy of knowing that. What I'm saying is, you did nothing wrong by sharing your feelings.
I knew a (young) woman who
tested me for harmlessness, then
having established that, tried (and
failed) to walk all over me & even
ruin my reputation.
@@hamishanderson6738 When a woman motivated by fear knows she has power over a situation, you know she is going to flip like a switch and abuse that situation to her heart's content. Women don't understand how much responsibility is required to control yourself when you have the power in a situation. Yet this is what men do all the time. Power under control.
@@peacefulplace6208 Exactly.
Thank you for this Teal. I didn't realize how afraid I had been until someone made me feel safe, it was a shocking realization!
you think men dont feel like this
@@young-gi9ny All you need is more WonderWoman. It's not really a gender thing, you just be fooled if you think so. When I was a child, all gang leaders were girls. The boys were just too stupid, they only got helping tasks.
Strange! Women usually articulate all their feelings non-stop 24/7 and you missed that one?
@@Alyssasrealm a story about something that never happened , unless skipping rope club was called a gang in your neighbourhood..
@@Alyssasrealm where was that
You are without a doubt the best I've ever heard explain this type of human psychology.
You’re right about a good relationship being one in which a woman feels safe. I married my husband because I felt safer with him and closer to him emotionally than to any other person in my life. But before that I was always attracted to men who were emotionally unavailable and I feel more sexually attracted to men like that. Can anyone else relate to that?
Beauty and the beast - you want to tame a beast. And then get safety from him... that's a unique female adventure.
This is exactly the reason I won’t date anymore. On the other hand I feel vulnerable in society at large being single. It’s not easy no matter how you look at it. There are whole countries I wouldn’t go to out of that feeling of not being safe. Everything you said was TRUTH. Thank you💕
I hear you. I won't date either, ever since my wife left me 24 years ago. Even though my kids have grown up and moved out years ago. I can't imagine being betrayed like that again. The only reason I am alive is because I had two kids to take care of.
Agreed, it is so sad how many countries there are where I wouldn't want to go especially alone or with other women only.
True: women fear more
Also true: fear isn’t weakness, its a survival instinct , which women developed more because society HURTS women for being a woman. (Survival instinct are necessary for survival)
In fact the amount of women still go out and fight shows how brave women actually are for a human feeling afraid all the time not because women are weak but society hurts women for “being women” , than it hurts men for committing crimes...
In the end you realise that women are Awesome.....
We act like being weak is bad.
Meanwhile, we're literally born weak, making weakness fundamental to our existence.
We have an unhealthy but valid relationship with weakness.
@@DaAxiomatic exactly
Men expected to die so women 'feel' safe. Women still most effected.
@@thesmartestmanintheworld2653 affected
@@thesmartestmanintheworld2653 I smell incel!
I was watching an old Joe Rogan segment where he had a behavioral anthropologist on who actually had to explain that women consider the possibility of getting pregnant every time they make the decision to have sex. The other men on the show, including Rogan, were honestly surprised. I was shocked that they were surprised. Now frankly if anyone, ANYONE, has to explain that to men, what freakin hope is there that they could possibly understand the trials and nuances of a woman's emotional life.
That’s astounding.
Thank you very much for this hint. As a man I have to admid, that this is a blind spot. Maybe we as man trust the woman on a subconcious level in this point. The biology of getting pregnant is the biology of fear and is the point of woman testing men even or especially in relationships. If that is true, (the fear of) woman might change after they lose the ability to get pregnant. The other thing is, how this point changes my thinking about the dating game. The difference between "Do I get a kiss tonight?" and "What if we (as a couple) get pregnant?" is tremendous.
I would think men are just as worried about pregnancy as well. After all, if we get a woman pregnant we’re going to be paying child support for 18 years! I know that when I have sex I’m extremely aware about the possibility of pregnancy
How tf are they shocked??? Yes we think about this every time. The only effective contraceptive is abstinennce, sadly!!
So true. Everything boils down to feeling safe with a man. So great, that Teal sends out this message!
Never thought about fear as a base feeling, but after teal said that I could not stop crying for 20 min
She is talking about our biological body and survival instincts, and women and men difference, NOT about what the women think and believe
That could be difficult to standardise.
I think the point is that ,are true selves want this deep down inside. According to me , it's ok to support our beliefs and thoughts but it's not ok to become a slave to those thoughts and beliefs . People who become slaves usually never find inner peace . Speaking from experience ,i used to be a slave to politics ,devoting to much of myself into it , seeking a person with an opposing view point but it's never sadisfactory . The main sadisfactory thing in life is allowing ourselves to improve and realising that all people ,even the monsters of this world, have good within them selves and they are no more different from ourselves just with a different experience in life . Hearing them out without judgement and allowing a conversation and not a confrontation , changing their outlook ,that will happen naturally . another sadisfactory thing is allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to people
So between this video and your one about men..... men want to feel needed and women need to feel safe so if the woman needs to trust the man that gives him purpose to that woman and boom trust and the perfect harmony
Yes, but the best person to provide those things is yourself. Seeking completion in someone else is toxic and disempowering. Only when you empower yourself can you find your equal partner (who has done their own healing work) and have a fulfilling healthy relationship.
Badger Apocalyps lol not really. Healthy Interdependence is NOT Toxic
Yes retrospectively it sounds easy. No wonder enlightened people get the h*ll out of Vegas and never come back to Earth if it's all so simple in the end.
Always staying vigilant and aware of surroundings. That's the life of a girl or woman. The worst was when I was pregnant with my kids. I felt too vulnerable while out in public alone and I take public transit to get around. My spouse drove me to work a lot in the later months of my pregnancies.
Never heard this stated so clearly and explicitly before. Real food for thought, and I will test these concepts in my daily life. As a guy, I almost never feel tangible fear. Challenge yes, but not actual fear. This woman is cool. Teal speaks her well-founded ideas and opinions with conviction and honesty. "New age cult" does not do her justice. She is a person expressing what she has learned about life through insight and intuition. We humans would do well to share more of this with each other. We all hold important wisdom.
So true. I also heard a lot of dating coaches talk about this. But we need more people like her in this world to spread these kinds of messages. This is the way to bring back humanity closer in these times of feminism and every gender trying to prove they are better than another gender. Man and Women are not equal but necessary for society to work properly. Just like food and water. We can't live with only one.
We can live longer without food than water.
But in time we will need both.
The problem is learning to live together.
This woman’s in depth understanding is very unique .
Every woman's needs are different, attunement is the word, Thanks Teal.... Always love your channel, so therapeutic
That s the work I was looking for, (therapeutic)
Every twat is different💖
Years ago I dated a girl who was 5'1 tall and probably 110 lbs. Now I'm 6'2" and 235 lbs. so quite a difference in stature. So one day we got to talking about how everyday when she leaves her house she always has to think about possibly being attacked. Now I was shocked because I never, ever have thought about that. And she of course responded why would you... you're a man and you're huge. And later on in our relationship she was attacked by a guy in his car trying to run her off the road. She survived but it was touch and go for a while. Needless to say I have a different mindset about women and how they have to navigate their lives when they are alone out in public.... especially at night.
I realized it for years and my behaviour changed. Now it changes back, because I developed a fear of women and Intimacy with my relationships. - so at the very least, a man still needs a woman, that will not exploit the man emotionally. And that is as rare as a sensitive man.
women don't emotionally exploit men, it is men who don't know how to handle their emotions.
Men are sensitive beings but yoy can never show this to a women. Once you do that you are no longer the monster that can protect her. For a man it's better to be feared than loved.
@@GreenTara2010 women are the manipulative sex, sure you exploit men but you don't see it that way.
How sad is that some men are conciously taking the decission to make their women fear instead of searching for equal respect, it is the easiest option, but there should be no need for that, and even I can understand that out there really there is very bad women that take advantage of men, it might be better to go and search for someone else to understand you. if this woman is uncapable of respecting a sensitive man then walk away. Sensitive men like that are needed as well as understanding women. I have seen in my husband he has been hiding his emotions so much in his life that now it is so hard for him to deal with them whenever they come out. Not all women are bad. You need to be better in order to attract better people to your life, it might take time but it will eventually happen. Good luck and hopes to both. 🙏 I hope this helps.
Yeah, you need to find a woman that is also sensitive. I know that when I go looking for a man, he needs to be sensitive to make me feel safe.
I've shortly been with a man that made me feel like I was wrong all the time and that my emotions weren't right and valuable. Good thing was that I kinda knew what was going on and that this wasn't a good relationship. But I still had moments where I doubted myself and was afraid of actually being wrong. I watched this video at the perfect timing, as I am analyzing what actually happened in that relationship. And it makes me feel so much better to know that my instincts were right and that he is just emotional very unavailable and unable to provide anything to a woman.
if you look at most of the male comments, they are all like that, telling women we are wrong rather than try to help the situation. Bottom line is: there are not enough good men to go around so most women will better off single..
@@GreenTara2010 that is really just men treating women like men. it's confusing to think about what a woman needs nowadays
@@justinnamuco9096
You are right, but the truth is that men need to stop treating women like men.
They may scream equality, but they want to be pampered.
Trust me - the minute you start treating women with kid gloves, protecting, caring and providing for their needs ahead of time, they will respond very positively.
The same can be said for women that they too need to be tuned in and earn a man's trust! So many men including myself have been betrayed by women to the point where it is difficult if not painful to trust another women!
I have been trying to figure out why my relationship of 14 years stranded.... less than 14 minutes later, I understand why I had to let him go. Somehow it kinda hurts to realize my needs were never met, and I just did not even realize that was the cause of my frustration.
Wow, you nailed that one! I remember having a debate with another woman about this very issue 30 years ago. I argued that women have to make a trust determination every single time they are alone with a man and she absolutely rejected that premise. It is nice to get validation after all these years. Thanks, Teal.
it's possible that she rejected the premise because- as Teal offers here- a constant baseline of fear is such an intrinsic and accepted part of her that she genuinely couldn't see that she was actually *constantly* making safety judgements.
or: denial. could always be denial. admitting to a fear requires vulnerability, and vulnerability requires a certain level of strength...
@@2ThineOwnSelf Or you're the one totally projecting into a subject you have zero knowledge of or interest in exploring. If you were interested in exploring the issue and find out the truth , since you doubt her perspective, you be.....wait for it.....exploring the issue. But don't let yourself get caught actually listening to what a woman says about the woman's perspective. If you want the woman's perspective always listen to a man, they not only know everything, their opinions are always more accurate and important, even concerning the emotional experiences of women. You don't even listen to yourself, do you.
@@cynthiajohnson9412 Don't snap at him, he's not attacking you, he's supporting your point and providing an explanation for why the other woman didn't agree with you.
Besides, how can you say he's not interested in exploring the subject when he's clearly diving into it, offering alternatives and generating discussion? There's zero malintent from his part.
@@cynthiajohnson9412 What? He wasn't doubting your perspective or hers. He was actually proposing a possible reason that she might reject your premise even though you were right.
@@GordieGii My perspective is hers. And guess why? Because she is right. Just objectively, plainly, based on common sense right.
As a man, you can accept this that’s true..if a women isn’t self aware of this she will definitely push it away and reject it..seen this too many times in relationships. Great video
so true about arrousal, i can only feel this way if i really feel safe with that person
I'm actually aware that I feel fear all the time for my safety being a single mom living alone but I just embrace it and deal with it. Nothing I can do. I faced my fear of guns so I can protect my kids if someone tries to break in my house.
Yes to everything you said in this video, Teal! I am pansexual and have had partners of various genders (male, female, non-binary). Safety, trustworthiness, and attunement are absolutely necessary for me to let myself be fully vulnerable and open with someone. Without it, I don't even want to date them. I've been working on becoming more attuned to myself and others and it has helped me find and strengthen other relationships too--like friendships / chosen family. I'm glad you suggested watching your attunement video, because, for me, they are all connected. Without one of these three, I am not calm or satisfied within the relationship. And if I get to the point where I don't think experiencing them with someone is possible, I'm out. I've spent far too much of my life feeling alone/misunderstood. And now that I know what it feels like to be seen, understood, and deeply connected to another person, it's my new standard. I cherish and savor the love in my life so much more now that I've learned how to be and find attunement and safety. My heart feels light even just by typing this.
best indicator of the status of the relationship between a man-woman: the woman's smile when she sees her man across a room ...once the smile fades, the relationship is on the decline!
I am a 66 year old man and I never FULLY appreciated this. I do now. Thank you. P.S. Your videos are fascinating.
I agree and I’m not a sucker.
Thank you so so much for this video Teal. ❤️🦋 it’s helping me so much right now. I officially started my own healing journey, using and going to someone who practices the inner child method that you’ve been sharing for years. It’s been really hard for my partner to understand, (I hope he really does understand, time will tell.) and this video and the one that speaks about men is SO helpful.
For any woman who doesn't relate to this and believe you do not live in fear: conscious caution is subconscious fear. Living in fear your whole life means it becomes your setpoint and you stop noticing it after a while. Fear doesn't look like a constant quaking in your boots and anxiously looking over your shoulder. It looks like locking your doors as soon as you get in your car. It looks like checking to make sure of your surroundings when you're on a run. It looks like a clenching in your stomach as you pass by a group of men. Just because you don't notice it doesn't mean it's not there, it means you are unattuned to yourself and the experiences of the women around you because it is so normalized. How many of you walk freely at night without any care? How many of you feel safe going shirtless in public? How many of you feel fine travelling alone anywhere in the world? Oh, those things are stupid, you say? Even men don't do this things, you say? Yes, men do those things, without a second thought unless they have been traumatized previously. Women are taught from birth not to so those things because they get us assaulted, or followed, or killed, or worse. You absolutely do live in fear, being unattuned to that will not change it.
Litterally, one of the best expressive videos about women's real nature. Brought me in tears, thank you Teal
Thanks Teal for this video!! I had no idea that fear was such an integral part of a woman's life. Often when I go for a walk in the city, I find myself walking behind a woman or going the opposite way of a woman. I can feel the fear, the anxiety, the suspicion, and I try to walk differently so as not to frighten the lady. I also feel sad as I was abused as a child myself, so I have known fear & know what it's like to be afraid, but how to let the woman know I mean no harm, how to walk on without feeling like a criminal? This I don't know, but I thank you Teal for letting me know about this fear, so I can at least be aware of this and be my best in this sad situation. - John
I know it's been a long time since your comment but in case you did want to know what you could do to make a woman feel less anxious in that kind of situation, I have a suggestion. Try to look and/or sound preoccupied by something else, and make your body language such that she feels that you are utterly uninterested in her or didn't notice her presence. As a woman, if I am walking alone at night and see a man walking behind me, I subconsciously check first to see if they took notice of my presence, and if they haven't yet, some instinct says maybe it just hasn't happened *yet.* But if a man is, for example, visibly jamming to music on his headphones or talking to someone on the phone, audibly playing a game on his phone, or in some other way looks like he is too busy to notice me, I feel overwhelmingly safer. If you simply go about your way with a blank stare and avoid making eye contact, it's better than nothing but I would say it doesn't reassure the primal-level fear.
@@harusameiro yes i feel less threatened by men on their phones because i know he isnt a watching me
With a few sentences you just changed my life and the life of many a woman around me. Will try to give my best.
Many thanks for this enlightenment.
Thank you Teal. This was eye opening for me and really explains why my last relationship ended. The Truth hurts, but it's never too late to try again!
I wish I'd seen this 25 years ago. I'm old, ugly, and having nothing to offer any woman except maybe a laugh. A laugh will only only get you so far. No matter, I'd never let another woman break my heart anyway.
I thought I found someone who I can trust to feel safe with... I shared my experience(s) of rape and in a conversation he said to me “I can understand that being raped once can happen... but more than once?” Made me feel that the first time was not my fault and possible but more than that was in some part something I did to cause it!! I said it took a long time for me and most women to not blame ourselves for it....... and you open your mouth and say that almost undid my mental health!!! Needless to say that ended the relationship because I felt insecure and unsafe emotionally
I was so reliable by providing everything... BUT emotional connection... And the result is divorce... And yes. I was so emotionaly unavailable. You are so right.
You're so right, I cried! You've just explained something I've always felt in the clearest way and now I know how to explain it. Thank you so much!
Women suffer unreal amounts of intimidation. A lot of behaviour of women is explained by PTSD..
Yes agreed I like your comment
Too big a generalization!
Most often created by intimidated by men. Men need to change and soon. Or real love and safe connection with a woman is off limits.
@@LadyLuvsYou As a man, i agree with Teal's analysis of how women are biologically and mentally conditioned towards fear and the need for trust, safety/security in relationships with men. However, there is one big issue she glossed over.
Generally speaking (Key word: "Generally" not all) when women are young between the ages of 15 to 30, it seems they are rather attracted to confident, aggressive "Bad Boy" types of men. Generally speaking (Key word: "Generally" not all) most men who are confident and aggressive tend to be very unemotional and self centered.
On the other hand, there are "Nice Guys" who women between the ages of 15 to 30 always seem to overlook. Generally speaking (Key word: "Generally" not all) most men who tend to be "Nice Guys" are good listeners, empathetic, less aggressive and humble. But these kinds of men tend to be unattractive (boring, predictable) and women would rather engage with the "Bad Boy" types who are attractive (fun, unpredictable).
Yet, we all know how the story usually ends. The "Bad Boy" usually breaks her heart and she complains to her "Nice Guy" friend that there aren't any good guys out there in touch with their emotions.
All you have to do is a google search (nice guys and women) (nice guys finish last) and you will see thousands of pages that bear witness to this phenomenon especially in the comment sections.
So the big question is why do some women (a rather large number but not all women) choose these kinds of men over and over again? My answer: "Bad Boys" make these women feel safe and secure over "Nice Guys" on a Primal Subconscious Level. But "Bad Boys" will also most likely break a woman's heart and not bat an eye. It sucks but it seems to me that is the reality of the vast majority of relationships out there.
@@thomasanderson9247 nice guys usually have no backbone, both types are lacking and given the limited options I see why most girls choose the bad boy (fun times, a level of protection etc). I think the solution is to teach people to be as well rounded as possible when they are young.
Hi Teal,
I cannot thank you enough for doing this video. You are so on point. In all my relationships with men plus growing up, it has always been that. Not feeling safe.
This video is not only good for men to watch but fathers.
Not feeling safe, is, to this day I live with. I am more concern as I have gotten older and not having a man in my life. As we get older this concern/fear I feel runs deeper. It's much harder to trust mens words.
I have seen your other videos you recommended, however, worthy of watching them again.
Thank you again. Many blessings.
May I ask, at what age does this fear take hold? I dont see it in my daughter?
It’s pretty obvious this is how nature works. Good men are supposed to be protectors from bad people and outside threats. It’s been biology for thousands of years. Woah I typed that last line as she said it. Problem is society has brainwashed people by saying everyone is equal and women can do some things as good as men is just not true. Just as men can’t do some things as good as women. We need each other.
Adds a new level of understanding as to why I love when my husband orders food for me at a restaurant- he usually knows what I want better than I do!!!
You're just pathetic.
As a man, making sure that all women in your life feel safe in your presence goes a long way! Family, friendships, business relationships, coworkers and of course intimately! The universe will reward you.