The fact that we don't feel safe living with emotions unless they are positive/uplifting/inspiring actually makes emotionality (rather than mentality, which can go either way) a true guide to divine living. (When mixed with authenticity, that is; everyone needs to feel safe living their uniqueness). The focus ends up being about making sure one another honestly CAN feel safe (the safer the better! Real Love being safest), which inherently nurtures divine choices. Society's habit of vilifying emotions (a mental exercise) keeps us from realizing this by maintaining a fear state. Thanks for your great videos! It's very obvious that you care about what you do, and it's neat to see. :)
Ted here perfectly embodying that deeply troubling feeling of “if I’m not alone, why does it feel like I am?” He can’t take the loneliness anymore. He’s made habit of protecting and supporting others, that’s the most important thing to him, and he thinks talking about his issues will hurt the people around him rather than just making them pallbearers, helping him carry it. He just thinks of himself as the source of trauma and not a victim of it, he’s so worried about even upsetting someone else with his own problems that he can’t ask for help. And he needs it. I just relate really hard to this. It’s so hard to ask for help… you don’t want anyone to worry.
To me, my purpose in life is as follows: To love. To learn. To grow. To live. Especially when life becomes difficult, either for me or for others. I love the straw metaphor that Alicia used. I've had moments where I have had to breathe through that straw just to get through the hard times until I figured out how to come up for that full breath of air. That's an excellent metaphor for anyone who can't put that feeling into words. I'm gonna steal it, but I promise to credit it to Alicia 😊. Thank you both for these episodes!
@@MendedLight He reminds me a LOT of my father, who was always the one trying to keep the family together and morale up, but had very few tools to address loss and grief other then distraction. So when Ted actually cried about wishing he had talked to his father more while in therapy was very cathartic for me.
I’ve always believed that our emotions, especially anger, grief or sadness, help us to address our issues by allowing us to feel the pain that comes from them #Allemotionsarevalid #Cryingishealthy #Iloveemotion
To answer your question, I think the purpose of life is to find connection in others and live authentically to yourself (as long as it doesnt hurt you or others). I do this through food! I'm always trying to learn about new cultures through recipe exchanges and honest discussion surrounding histoey, food, and the process that make it human. Great video, as always! My partner really loves Ted Lasso so I watched this with him. We would pause and he explained his thoughts as they came. Great work!
I believe the purpose of life is to continuously learn, grow, & evolve through inner and outer exploration and acts of service (whether to the community, your family, or the Earth & its many inhabitants). ❤ Curiosity and staying soft and playful around emotions helps up to a point, but I do struggle with sitting with those intense emotions while they are happening.
In answer to the question "What is the meaning of life?". I think it is as simple as: to live. Not solely exist but live life. However that may be for each individual. Just acknowledging our time, being grateful for it and getting a sense of fulfillment out of it.
@@MendedLight I have a life long illness so I'm on my own journey of trying not to tie my value in productivity. Something your channel has been helpful with, thank you. So, now I would say I find fulfillment in the little joys in life. I treasure the fun moments with the people I love so much. I make plans for small trips/days out when I can to have something to look forward to and new memories to make. I enjoy more the things I like: movies, games, food etc. I guess it's simply noticing the good things more. Helps me to get through the bad days.
For me, my coping method is to withdraw. I need my space and time to process things. Then when I'm ready I resurface and talk with friends and family. Having that time alone prevents me from taking my emotions out on others and saying things I would regret.
Hmm I do this thing that some people may know if they were lucky in meditation. I feel my feelings while also observing them. Aka there's a profound safe core of me, full of unconditional love - that allows me to look at pretty much anything that is really anywhere between the "great and abysmal" It's a neutral place, that is grounding when it comes to big positive as negative experiences. In a sense I've always know that place. But it was a guided group session of meditation (I should say "Dream Walk" as some may not categorize it ass formal meditation LOL) that gave me the tools to create something akin of a stable "access point". Aka I do not even need to close my eyes. I need to recall the feeling and I'm in the state at any time I need it. Which is quite the power move to have, as a person with ADHD & chronic health struggles, when you're VERY prone to core deep, intense feelings, impulsivity and your nervous system physically screaming at you (sth. joyous or grievous, it's all physically tasking). I had the luck (and poor luck as I had a need to learn this for sheer survival) to reach that key point sometime between my 20ties to 30ies. While in groups of many, who are of older generations. Yet I found myself describes as most experiences in this. And feeling quite at loss, both with "lack of orientation points in elders who walk the path before me" AND "Struggling to make my way of getting there accessible when asked about it." It was like even step 1 and 2 were already raising question marks 😅 So somehow I can be helpful to ppl around me, but not quite do the "stop giving the starving food, teach them how to farm". So it's not at the stage of being helpful, when shared?
For my, my life purpose is to always look out for others and help people heal, which is why I wanna be a nurse because there are so many people out there who need a gentle hand in their lives, that I will always be there to give as a nurse!❤❤😊😊
My answer to Alicia's question is probably going to be controversial😅. There is no purpose. There's no purpose, no point. Love makes life bearable, and sometimes enjoyable sure, but that's about it. I was raised a Christian and to be driven by purpose. I always felt exhausted and like I wasn't doing enough. When I left all of that behind, I left purpose behind too, and I have never felt more FREE. I feel so free and unburdened. Nothing matters. Isn't that great?! The mistakes you make? They don't matter. Pain? Doesn't matter. Happiness? Fleeting. Matters not. Learning this taught me to live in the moment. It taught me to enjoy things for what they were and people for who they are. I'm so much happier now that I don't have the heavy, unbearable burden of purpose.
It's a double-edged sword: it feels freeing to not have to bear the purpose that was bestowed upon you but life of the Nietzschean Last Man is eventually gonna feel empty and hollow. If you feel happy now, then great! You have a working formula for yourself, but should it no longer work out for you, here's a place to explore: instead of a purpose being given to you by an external force, define that purpose yourself. It's not easy working with a blank canvas but there isn't anyone on this planet that's more suited to know what you need and want than yourself.
@thecoton6152 it's interesting to me that you think I'm going to eventually need to find a purpose. I'm the most fulfilled and happy I've ever been in my life. What's the point of anything if we're all going to be swallowed up by a black hole one day anyway? Everything we do on this earth will one day be for absolutely nothing. We're minuscule in comparison to the rest of the universe. We're not important like we think we are. How arrogant are we to think that of ourselves? I know we're taught that it's bad to not have a purpose. It's ingrained in us from birth that we must have some kind of purpose, and that life must have some kind of meaning, some kind of point. But it doesn't, and that's okay. It's still beautiful.
Can you react to Jake and Amy’s relationship in Brooklyn Nine Nine? Pretty interesting story of how they went from police partners to romantic partners.
I know you might never see this comment, guys, but still... If "The purpose to life is to experience unconditional love", as Alicia says... wouldn't it make sense to actually love each other unconditionally and keep your "till death do us part"? Especialy in a non-violent, pretty self-aware and growing and learning relationship of two people, who will always be coparents (ergo- never really "free of the burden" of the other's weaknesses)? I'm saying it as a thinker-closer (or a traumatized closer-dreamer) married to a healer-dreamer. We have most of the same struggles you guys have mentioned in your divorce-related videos... We're living in a country my husband doesn't even know the language of, so the imbalances are quite striking... but we're still together. Because... that's the "un" in the "unconditional love". We're struggling and growing through it. From my point of view, the biggest, most dangerous difference to the livelyhood and quality of marriage any two people may have is the difference in how they value marriage. The vows we make are more than a hopeful guess. They are a choice to break, grow, bloom, whither, rot, revive... always in this garden. If I were your personal friend and my words had any weight to you (unlike some radnom comment on YT), I'd ask you guys to give this marriage another shot. I'd ask you not to give up too quickly and for reasons that (if deified) will eat you alive.
Alicia: Let's do a thought experiment. Now obviously we all want the best of health to you, Jono, and your family. But suppose tomorrow your doctors told you, Alicia, that you were suffering from a degenerative brain condition that over a decade would reduce you to less than the functioning of a child. Is there anyone in your life, not related to you by blood, who would be willing to go with you on this life's journey to the bitter end, holding your hand even after you have forgotten their name, cleaning up after you if you have soiled yourself in your bed? Uh, how about that guy next to you in this video, Jono? You Alicia I think have two fundamental questions to answer. Are you really after experiencing "unconditional love", or are you after simply experiencing. Because sitting right next to you in this video is a guy who is willing, probably even after divorce, to be with you to the most bitter of ends. How is that not the ultimate in unconditional love? You found the guy who both is willing and able to have your back, and who would figure out a way to get your kids, even the one not related by blood, successfully into adulthood while being with you to the end. Second, because you and he have divorced, it is likely the day will come when Jono will meet another amazing woman and eventually decide to marry her. And when he marries again, the priority of that unconditional love will transfer to her, no longer with you. You Alicia have to decide whether to accept this mutual offer from Jono to be with each other until death do you part, with neither of you knowing whose health will fail first. It's not too late. But you must eventually decide, maybe soon.
The fact that we don't feel safe living with emotions unless they are positive/uplifting/inspiring actually makes emotionality (rather than mentality, which can go either way) a true guide to divine living. (When mixed with authenticity, that is; everyone needs to feel safe living their uniqueness). The focus ends up being about making sure one another honestly CAN feel safe (the safer the better! Real Love being safest), which inherently nurtures divine choices. Society's habit of vilifying emotions (a mental exercise) keeps us from realizing this by maintaining a fear state.
Thanks for your great videos! It's very obvious that you care about what you do, and it's neat to see. :)
Ted here perfectly embodying that deeply troubling feeling of “if I’m not alone, why does it feel like I am?”
He can’t take the loneliness anymore. He’s made habit of protecting and supporting others, that’s the most important thing to him, and he thinks talking about his issues will hurt the people around him rather than just making them pallbearers, helping him carry it. He just thinks of himself as the source of trauma and not a victim of it, he’s so worried about even upsetting someone else with his own problems that he can’t ask for help. And he needs it. I just relate really hard to this. It’s so hard to ask for help… you don’t want anyone to worry.
To me, my purpose in life is as follows: To love. To learn. To grow. To live. Especially when life becomes difficult, either for me or for others.
I love the straw metaphor that Alicia used. I've had moments where I have had to breathe through that straw just to get through the hard times until I figured out how to come up for that full breath of air. That's an excellent metaphor for anyone who can't put that feeling into words. I'm gonna steal it, but I promise to credit it to Alicia 😊. Thank you both for these episodes!
Ted Lasso is a perfect example of a person who in order to heal, he has to address his repressed anger
Agreed! Love how they showed that healing in this story line, too! What was most impactful for you in watching him heal? 💜
@@MendedLight He reminds me a LOT of my father, who was always the one trying to keep the family together and morale up, but had very few tools to address loss and grief other then distraction. So when Ted actually cried about wishing he had talked to his father more while in therapy was very cathartic for me.
I’ve always believed that our emotions, especially anger, grief or sadness, help us to address our issues by allowing us to feel the pain that comes from them
#Allemotionsarevalid #Cryingishealthy #Iloveemotion
Thanks for dialing down the amount of stock footage.
To answer your question, I think the purpose of life is to find connection in others and live authentically to yourself (as long as it doesnt hurt you or others).
I do this through food! I'm always trying to learn about new cultures through recipe exchanges and honest discussion surrounding histoey, food, and the process that make it human.
Great video, as always! My partner really loves Ted Lasso so I watched this with him. We would pause and he explained his thoughts as they came. Great work!
I believe the purpose of life is to continuously learn, grow, & evolve through inner and outer exploration and acts of service (whether to the community, your family, or the Earth & its many inhabitants). ❤
Curiosity and staying soft and playful around emotions helps up to a point, but I do struggle with sitting with those intense emotions while they are happening.
You always seem to know exactly what I need to hear!
In answer to the question "What is the meaning of life?".
I think it is as simple as: to live. Not solely exist but live life. However that may be for each individual. Just acknowledging our time, being grateful for it and getting a sense of fulfillment out of it.
That is a good one. How do you find this meaning in your life?
@@MendedLight I have a life long illness so I'm on my own journey of trying not to tie my value in productivity. Something your channel has been helpful with, thank you.
So, now I would say I find fulfillment in the little joys in life. I treasure the fun moments with the people I love so much. I make plans for small trips/days out when I can to have something to look forward to and new memories to make. I enjoy more the things I like: movies, games, food etc.
I guess it's simply noticing the good things more. Helps me to get through the bad days.
Thank you for this ❤
For me, my coping method is to withdraw. I need my space and time to process things. Then when I'm ready I resurface and talk with friends and family.
Having that time alone prevents me from taking my emotions out on others and saying things I would regret.
Hmm I do this thing that some people may know if they were lucky in meditation. I feel my feelings while also observing them. Aka there's a profound safe core of me, full of unconditional love - that allows me to look at pretty much anything that is really anywhere between the "great and abysmal" It's a neutral place, that is grounding when it comes to big positive as negative experiences.
In a sense I've always know that place. But it was a guided group session of meditation (I should say "Dream Walk" as some may not categorize it ass formal meditation LOL) that gave me the tools to create something akin of a stable "access point". Aka I do not even need to close my eyes. I need to recall the feeling and I'm in the state at any time I need it. Which is quite the power move to have, as a person with ADHD & chronic health struggles, when you're VERY prone to core deep, intense feelings, impulsivity and your nervous system physically screaming at you (sth. joyous or grievous, it's all physically tasking).
I had the luck (and poor luck as I had a need to learn this for sheer survival) to reach that key point sometime between my 20ties to 30ies. While in groups of many, who are of older generations. Yet I found myself describes as most experiences in this. And feeling quite at loss, both with "lack of orientation points in elders who walk the path before me" AND "Struggling to make my way of getting there accessible when asked about it." It was like even step 1 and 2 were already raising question marks 😅 So somehow I can be helpful to ppl around me, but not quite do the "stop giving the starving food, teach them how to farm". So it's not at the stage of being helpful, when shared?
For my, my life purpose is to always look out for others and help people heal, which is why I wanna be a nurse because there are so many people out there who need a gentle hand in their lives, that I will always be there to give as a nurse!❤❤😊😊
That is very tender. I love that that is your purpose. How did you come to discover it? 💜
My answer to Alicia's question is probably going to be controversial😅. There is no purpose. There's no purpose, no point. Love makes life bearable, and sometimes enjoyable sure, but that's about it.
I was raised a Christian and to be driven by purpose. I always felt exhausted and like I wasn't doing enough. When I left all of that behind, I left purpose behind too, and I have never felt more FREE. I feel so free and unburdened. Nothing matters. Isn't that great?! The mistakes you make? They don't matter. Pain? Doesn't matter. Happiness? Fleeting. Matters not.
Learning this taught me to live in the moment. It taught me to enjoy things for what they were and people for who they are. I'm so much happier now that I don't have the heavy, unbearable burden of purpose.
It's a double-edged sword: it feels freeing to not have to bear the purpose that was bestowed upon you but life of the Nietzschean Last Man is eventually gonna feel empty and hollow.
If you feel happy now, then great! You have a working formula for yourself, but should it no longer work out for you, here's a place to explore: instead of a purpose being given to you by an external force, define that purpose yourself. It's not easy working with a blank canvas but there isn't anyone on this planet that's more suited to know what you need and want than yourself.
@thecoton6152 it's interesting to me that you think I'm going to eventually need to find a purpose. I'm the most fulfilled and happy I've ever been in my life.
What's the point of anything if we're all going to be swallowed up by a black hole one day anyway? Everything we do on this earth will one day be for absolutely nothing.
We're minuscule in comparison to the rest of the universe. We're not important like we think we are. How arrogant are we to think that of ourselves?
I know we're taught that it's bad to not have a purpose. It's ingrained in us from birth that we must have some kind of purpose, and that life must have some kind of meaning, some kind of point. But it doesn't, and that's okay. It's still beautiful.
Would love if you did a video on the relationship dynamics in Arcane! (season 2 just came out!)
Can you react to Jake and Amy’s relationship in Brooklyn Nine Nine? Pretty interesting story of how they went from police partners to romantic partners.
6:47 profound, from both of you
I know you might never see this comment, guys, but still...
If "The purpose to life is to experience unconditional love", as Alicia says... wouldn't it make sense to actually love each other unconditionally and keep your "till death do us part"?
Especialy in a non-violent, pretty self-aware and growing and learning relationship of two people, who will always be coparents (ergo- never really "free of the burden" of the other's weaknesses)?
I'm saying it as a thinker-closer (or a traumatized closer-dreamer) married to a healer-dreamer. We have most of the same struggles you guys have mentioned in your divorce-related videos... We're living in a country my husband doesn't even know the language of, so the imbalances are quite striking... but we're still together. Because... that's the "un" in the "unconditional love". We're struggling and growing through it.
From my point of view, the biggest, most dangerous difference to the livelyhood and quality of marriage any two people may have is the difference in how they value marriage.
The vows we make are more than a hopeful guess. They are a choice to break, grow, bloom, whither, rot, revive... always in this garden.
If I were your personal friend and my words had any weight to you (unlike some radnom comment on YT), I'd ask you guys to give this marriage another shot. I'd ask you not to give up too quickly and for reasons that (if deified) will eat you alive.
Alicia: Let's do a thought experiment. Now obviously we all want the best of health to you, Jono, and your family. But suppose tomorrow your doctors told you, Alicia, that you were suffering from a degenerative brain condition that over a decade would reduce you to less than the functioning of a child. Is there anyone in your life, not related to you by blood, who would be willing to go with you on this life's journey to the bitter end, holding your hand even after you have forgotten their name, cleaning up after you if you have soiled yourself in your bed? Uh, how about that guy next to you in this video, Jono? You Alicia I think have two fundamental questions to answer. Are you really after experiencing "unconditional love", or are you after simply experiencing. Because sitting right next to you in this video is a guy who is willing, probably even after divorce, to be with you to the most bitter of ends. How is that not the ultimate in unconditional love? You found the guy who both is willing and able to have your back, and who would figure out a way to get your kids, even the one not related by blood, successfully into adulthood while being with you to the end. Second, because you and he have divorced, it is likely the day will come when Jono will meet another amazing woman and eventually decide to marry her. And when he marries again, the priority of that unconditional love will transfer to her, no longer with you. You Alicia have to decide whether to accept this mutual offer from Jono to be with each other until death do you part, with neither of you knowing whose health will fail first. It's not too late. But you must eventually decide, maybe soon.