These magic items COULDN'T POSSIBLY help you on your quest.
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- Опубліковано 24 лют 2023
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Here's a few more useless RPG magic items you might need to purchase for your video game and or dungeons and dragons arsenal:
The Hat of Hair Growth: This enchanted hat causes hair to grow at an incredibly fast rate on anyone who wears it, granting them a luxurious mane. Unfortunately, the hat only works when you wear it, and covers almost all the new hair.
The Ring of Sneeze: Once per day, the wearer can sneeze with incredible force, blasting enemies away from them. However, this is more of a party trick than a useful combat ability.
The Boots of Slippery Walking: These boots grant the wearer the ability to glide along any surface, but they also make it incredibly difficult to stop or change direction, making them more of a hindrance than a help.
The Amulet of Awkward Silence: This amulet causes everyone in a 10-foot radius to suddenly become quiet and awkward, making it difficult to communicate or work together effectively.
The Cloak of Invisibility... Sometimes: This cloak grants the wearer the ability to turn invisible, but only when they're standing perfectly still and not doing anything.
The Wand of Stubbornness: This wand causes the target to become incredibly stubborn, making them unwilling to change their mind or let go of the wand.
The Belt of Unintelligible Speech: This belt causes the wearer's speech to become completely unintelligible, making it impossible for anyone to understand them.
Music:
Lord of the Land - Kevin Macleod
Written and Directed by:
Frank St. John & Michael Romaniello
Cinematography by:
Mitchell Nance
#rpg #comedy #sketchcomedy - Комедії
"somehow its absence is more horrific than its presence" is the only good thing my friends ever say about me
I like to make people think I'm secretly a psychopath so that they listen to me when they need a leader.
Humans are so dumb, that they choose the most confident person in their group, not the most intelligent
My wedding vows someday.
no lol
Like a spider
Same
Guys don’t call in, total scam, my witches broom ended up being A WIZARDS broom. Ridiculous.
Same thing happened to me but with the drum, it turns out when you beat it, the drum only reveals its own location.
@@themecoptera9258 My drum just summons a random Black Skull with Ruby Eyes. Don't know were it goes when I stop drumming?
Its not about what kind of broom you have, its how you use it.
Did it still give you magical orgasms?
Does it still do the thing when you sweep?
DO NOT RELEASE SQUEENO! HE IS IN THERE FOR A REASON, OK. JUST DON'T.
What if i already released squeeno and now my entire world has become a box
solve the puzzle@@benflightart
@@benflightart i hate to surprise you- youve been Squeeno all along
FREE MY MAN SQUEENO!!!!!! HE INNOCENT!!!!!
“Liar” - Squeeno
a small price to pay for double swim speed
It sounded like "squim speed" to me, which I'm sure is a completely different (and possibly dangerous) type of movement
Money-wise? Absolutely, and that's just one of the effects it grants you! Activation-wise... well, I suppose different people are going to have different thoughts on that, depending on how much they want or don't want certain things.
@@DarthOmelette The activation method is the selling point, the rest is set dressing 😎
I just want to double my jump speed. Not even the height or distance.
@@elijahthompson1120 didn't even realise XD
Having the host begin calling the shrunken wizards teriyaki and honey while the listing says it has an aura of confusion is so great.
That was definitely a reference to a show, but I can't remember which one!
@@morguenmorguen6862 Futurama, I believe
@@hghpodcast9284 YES! Professor Farnsworth said it! They were the little alien mummies!
He forgot what one of them did in his life too
I did not notice that and now it is splitting my sides. 🤣🤣
This scratches such a good niche for me, throwing out details that get the mind racing about worldbuilding while also being so absurd and bizarre I have to pause to laugh every few items.
Also there is a *lot* of gnomeskin...
Gnome skin is very versatile
Gnome skin is also edible and can be used as a garnish
clearly you havent been to the valley of gnomes with plentiful skin
Looootta gnome skin
Predictably, live gnomes are getting harder and harder to find
"Tugs drum allows you to find any drum in the world. Can be used to find a better drum."
Cinema Gold!
Hey, Tug's drum isn't that bad. It is actually surprisingly valuable. There's a surprising amount of niche uses for such a tool.
Finding other drums could help provide a source of income, to an extent. Particularly if you get into archeology. Just go to a digging site, and dig up some ancient drums you can sell for a decent amount of money. It practically pays for itself.
Additionally, if you can use it to identify a large collection of drums- specifically, a large collection of drums steadily moving in the same direction, that can help you identify what is either a parade... or an army, beating their wardrums as they march forth.
And, if you know there is no parade anytime soon... It will provide you a lot of forewarning. Allowing you to potentially save a lot of lives, if you can warn everyone.
And, if you ever get lost, perhaps in the middle of the wilderness... Just, head to any large, general grouping of drums. That will lead you to civilization. After all, where there are drums, there are probably people.
It's far from great, mind you. A magical item that could locate hidden treasure would be better for money, weapons would be better for warning against an army~ especially since there's a chance that an army might just... not have any war drums. Especially if they learn that you and Tug's drum is what is warning everyone about them ~and something that can just... directly detect civilization, or people, or whatever, would be preferable for making your way out of there. But, for someone who can't afford more useful magical tools that would each be designed for such a task, Tug's drum seems like a good, cheap alternative for a less than wealthy adventurer until they can acquire an upgrade. I would certainly recommend it for any adventurer just starting out, who is tight on funds.
If your character's ultimate ambition is to find the world's best drum then it's invaluable
@@asagoldsmith3328 you just can't beat that
@@youngjung161 and at an unbeatable value!
Yall just didnt know about Nemo drum, a drum that would give you infinite stamina in bed.
About time i'm finally able to find it. This drum would help a ton
I like how you made lose my patience with the broom and wonder why he was sweeping so many times, only to have one of the best punch lines.
Never thought about how many things are actually made out of gnome skin.
Kobolds, orcs, or goblins made them.
Halfling as well.
I like the idea that an item they are trying to push on you goes unlisted because the host wanted it.
This is so well acted.
Many thanks 🙏
You know what’s strange is that Tug’s Drum has a military application; If an enemy army is moving with drummers then you can see where the forces are moving using drumsight. I think it’s a steal at this price.
Fully belly laughed for a solid minute at the delivery of "come to think of it, that's actually some pretty devastating news"
I just hope Squeeno's okay.
Squeeno the gnome was sealed away for his own protection and to safeguard his precious skin.
Squeeno is not okay and that is a good thing. Do NOT let him out.
@@jameson8314 What can I say, I'm a bleeding heart.
@@jameson8314 in*
@a.p.2019 you will be if squeeno escapes
That skull appearing and disappearing was absolutely hilarious!
Thank you :)
I was laughing at the skull for like 1 minute, it was so damn funny to me
Haha! Glad to see this become a series! The original is one of the best videos you’ve put out!
Hearing there's another one is such great news and I'm not even wearing bracers!
The line “trinkets and scrolls” lives in my head rent free for some reason 😂
What’s the LEAST useful, and/or MOST frustrating magical item in your inventory?
None 😑, prefer nukes ☢️😂🤣
vandrax's opalescent thimble of saltiness. makes things you eat taste a little salty
Cactus of intrusive thoughts. It massively increases the users abilities but only while you are biting down on its thorns full force. It also makes any pain 10x as intense while in effect.
An 8 ball. It's constantly making me lose games. It's inaudible and won't answer any of my questions. Good for throwing at enemies tho.
Invisible wandering blade.
Really useful in combat because your opponents can't see it coming, less so when it goes missing and you can't find it. Luckily(or unluckily) it likes to go to soft places like chairs and beds, just be careful whenever you sit or lie down. Also strongly recommend not having any excitable fluffy pets, that's how the last owner died.
Finally a broom that's both practical and pleasurable!
👍 I'm certain that Gnomes shed their skin constantly in that universe, and you pretty much HAVE to use it for as many items as possible, or it would fill up all available disposal sites.
I guess it's better than gnome genocide 🤷
let's take a moment to appreciate how good the thumbnail is for this video
The first magic item shopping channel video was one of my favorites, I'm so happy there's a new one. Your videos are some of my favorite on UA-cam for sure. Classic internet sketch comedy vibes in the best way possible. Keep up the good work!
Ugh, Tome was not a book that gained sentience, he was a wizard whose scribed his soul into his own spell book on the eve of his corporeal death, in hopes that another wizard would seek it out and transfer it into a new body, preferably one with t!ts. Unfortunately, the spell book was found by a bard, during second edition play, who had no use for a spell book. He bleached the pages, and wrote down his epic poem ABOUT a book that gained sentience.
The bard was eventually set on fire.
Looks like a real rough day for the gnomes watching.
FYI: Make sure you are properly attuned to that witches broom before you start sweeping. Things have been very awkward around the hovel lately.
The orginial one was the first video of you guys I ever saw, it made me binge watch all of your videos, love you guys, best comedy in youtube
Yes!! Thank you so very much 😀
@@Wizards_with_Guns also can I have my wallet back? the wizard stole it
When I was listening to the throne shard part I was think, fire resistence, strength, immunity, sounds great. "Activate by pushing into peehole.."
Ah there it is. Love this, you should make it into a series
These items remind me of useless/quirky items we used to make for our homebrew games. My favourite was the Boot of Mismatch. You put it on, and a completely different secondary boot appears on the other foot. Sometimes mundane, but sometimes a very powerful boot; and you don't know what it is till you activate it. The secondary boot you summoned would disappear at midnight and be replaced by a new secondary boot the next time you put the original boot of mismatch on.
Whoever is making these items hate or love gnomes uncontrollably
Sounds like gnomes are not having a good year. Someone should really ge-OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE GOOFY LITTLE GUYS
And to think some people out there would willingly sound a throne shard without gaining double jump speed
Do you think it increases just speed or distance too?
word of advice: do NOT try to take Squeeno's box through TSA screening. just put it in your checked baggage like a normal person. will save you lots of time and hassle.
"Has Anyone seen a Weird Scary Ass Haunted but Cool Looking Skull anywhere? It appears out of nowhere then disappears? Anyone? Man I'm never gonna hear the end of this from my wife if I don't get it back and put it in this box."
I want to just put this on in a waiting room and see how people react when they realize wtf they're watching. Hilarious as always I could watch hours of this!
I could see an entire QVC channel based off UA-cam bits, add toilet gernade and shit for commercials...
Love ancient history being brought back to the forefront. Hope to see some relics from the Battle of Broken Tusks, such as the actual artifacts that caused the fight, the evil and vile dragon Abbadon's magical Bad Dragon collection. I'm told just seeing it sends you into a hysterical rage followed by deep, dark sadness, unless you're of mixed planar heritage. In which case, they're just normal dildos.
This is probably one of my favorite videos, watched it like 3 times now. The subtle humor is just so fucking funny to me man, like why the fuck is everything made out of gnome skin. "New Orc Times" had me dying. So much good in one video, I love it so much.
Bought from these guys a while back. My peehole still hasn't recovered.
This is, without a doubt my favorite skit that I have ever seen, ever. The world building is amazing
I'm not sure how 'real' that dagger on the right is, but it is making me weirdly secondhand anxious watching this.
I'm SOLD on the totem of goofy guys, I will pay any price
Tug's drum is actually surprisingly valuable. There's a surprising amount of niche uses for such a tool.
Finding other drums could help provide a source of income, to an extent. Particularly if you get into archeology. Just go to a digging site, and dig up some ancient drums you can sell for a decent amount of money. It practically pays for itself.
Additionally, if you can use it to identify a large collection of drums- specifically, a large collection of drums steadily moving in the same direction, that can help you identify what is either a parade... or an army, beating their wardrums as they march forth.
And, if you know there is no parade anytime soon... It will provide you a lot of forewarning. Allowing you to potentially save a lot of lives, if you can warn everyone.
And, if you ever get lost, perhaps in the middle of the wilderness... Just, head to any large, general grouping of drums. That will lead you to civilization. After all, where there are drums, there are probably people.
It's far from great, mind you. A magical item that could locate hidden treasure would be better for money, weapons would be better for warning against an army~ especially since there's a chance that an army might just... not have any war drums. Especially if they learn that you and Tug's drum is what is warning everyone about them ~and something that can just... directly detect civilization, or people, or whatever, would be preferable for making your way out of there. But, for someone who can't afford more useful magical tools that would each be designed for such a task, Tug's drum seems like a good, cheap alternative for a less than wealthy adventurer until they can acquire an upgrade. I would certainly recommend it for any adventurer just starting out, who is tight on funds.
"I'm not sure what he did exactly, but he's honey BBQ."
That is freaking hilarious.
If Frank is looking to sell off some more magic items, I know a guy who can get you a deal on a bulk of Gnome skin. Just don’t ask how or from whom we got it from.
The Throne Shard joke made me laugh for between five and seven minuets.
Man, that throne shard…with that hindsight, it’s at least worth $20.20. 😅
Fascinated how gnomes fit into this world. My theories are 1) gnomes are herd animals and are slaughtered for their hides when they can no longer craft magical items and/or produce milk. 2) Brigan the gnomelord of Thistlewood was pushed into a tanning vat by his treacherous half-brother who coveted the stolen Throne Shard of V'thellious. 3) gnomes shed their skin like snakes.
This is why people don't let me make items in our tabletop games anymore. They particularly hated the ring of slipperiness and the inverted cleats where the spikes were on the inside.
You're just a terrible artificer.
the sequel we all wanted
Not your best skit for like watching as a humorous time but w great skit to get inspired as a dm for a magic items vendor and in that it has value. Thank you
the little bullet points for each item are great, "new orc times bestseller"
This is definitely one of the best videos I'll watch for the year. Absolutely hilarious and very well done!
Hornos hole. Now that's a bar I'd check out
The first Horno's Magic Item Hole was my favorite sketch from you guys bar none. Please do more of these, you guys rock!
These are all going into my D&D campaign
A subplot about a king or general who is unknowingly wearing the bracers of defeat and makes terrible decisions as a result would be funny.
"Your Majesty, our forces were utterly defeated at the crucial battle of Athenheim"
"Wow, what splendid news! Now I don't have to send them supplies or pay for their wages."
@@CrizzyEyes I read this as Altenheim (German for retirement home) - What a battle to lose!
The Joel haver collab got me here. Happy I subscribed
I will now be adding this to my dnd campaigns lmao. Every tavern shall have this magic broadcast no matter when the players arrive. Maybe at the end of a commercial break and then every so often, if they listen in, they can actually get a good magic item
This mans acting is amazing. It's a crime that these guys don't have the gold plaque.
@Wizards_with_Guns I used this video as an ingame vendor for my D&D game. They needed to find who murder a celebrity musician and stole his instrument of the bards (drum). So they bought Tug's Drum to find the instrument of the bards drum, to find the killer.
Now they have to give him shelter any time he is in the city outside the city of his birth.
Turns out Horo is a planeswalker from outside Ravnica and wasnt born in thay city and now they are on the hook when they thought they were screwing him over with the "outside the city of his birth" clause.
Was glad to hear that the gnome skin was ethically sourced.
But was a bit conflicted to hear that the ethic was “killing gnomes is fun”.
I love that it upgrades jump speed. Not jump height, or distance, just jump speed.
I just randomly found this channel, and this is the first video. Best freakin thing I’ve seen all week. Looking forward to what else this channel has
The Throne shard of V’thellious KellQ’neth had me in the first half not gonna lie.
Shrunken wizard remains are a MUST at cocktail parties
This is my favorite sketch series you guys do. Awesome job. Love the sheer amount of props you have on hand for this!
“This ones not for sale, I’m gonna have that”😅 LMFAO
The moment when he pauses and has a chuckle at it, and then the line delivery is so funny
They even got the delayed item descriptions right 😂😂
The entire video is gold but the puzzle cube has to be my favorite bit, the delivery was golden.
I am dictating this comment to my Google Pixel, the skull is in my house floating 7ft in the air staring at me.
I am completely paralyzed and cannot break eye contact with the skull
I want a sequel to this please. This is amazing!
Mon Mothma: Many gnomes died to bring us this infomercial spectacular.
binging these magic items videos, every single one is absolute gold. great work guys!
I am so happy I got this in my recommended and I’ve been able to experience the last 15 minutes seeing what this wonderful channel has to offer.
I love watching these kinds of things, it’s the presentation for me. The look like the seller is seeing these things for the first time and they have an entire inventory of just crap.
This was a great introduction to your channel. Very high production value too. I hope to see similar content in the future though I do understand the immense work and investment it takes into props.
Me laying in bed to look at my shelf where the same damn drum is sitting… I didn’t know I had a magic drum!
You guys are the perfect mix between Please Don’t Destroy and Tim Robinson. If you sell merch, I’m buying it yesterday. Keep it rolling - new huge fan here.
So much gnome skin I’m worried for sneeko
cant wait for the next episode! I NEED MORE MAGICAL ITEMS!
"This was stolen by brigands. Then stolen by Brigand, gnome-lord of the thistlewood." I'm deaaaaad lol
don't know how many times i've rewatched this but i just now realized a ton of this stuff is related to gnomes
this is my favorite kind of skits you guys do keep it up
Everything about this was brilliant! Keep the videos coming!
Alright. This was randomly recommended to me, but I love this. Immediate subscribe.
I hope this is a series that goes on for a while! I need more magical infomercial in my life!
Please for the love of every deity across all planes of existence do more of these
That's genuine stag horn right there
I love this series, the description is gold too
Love these videos, hope y'all make more of these.
YOOO THE LAST ONE WAS MY FAVORITE EPISODE OF YOURS
Please do more of these! This skit is hilarious xD
I had to pause it at "he's honey barbecue and this one's teriyaki"; that just about knocked me out of my chair 🤣
This was the best. I would love more of this
ILL TAKE THE WHOLE LOT
The last flinch looks so real. Very well done
I love this premise so much, and the execution is excellent.
Once sold a player the
"Tinted Glasses of Guile"
Gives a bonus to persuasion, but while wearing the glasses you truely believe you are the coolest person alive.
The casual "and to activate it, you just push into your pee hole" kills me everytime
I'm crying laughing just from how "Tug's drum" sounds
This is my favorite skit on all of UA-cam.
Please link me contenders.
Thank you!! We highly recommend all the other skits on our channel!
@@Wizards_with_Guns I just binged that shit for like two hours lmao
and I mean "shit" in the highest of regards
I'm loving the names of these items, so fantasy sounding, it's genuinely impressive
I'm so glad you did another one of these.
dude these bring me so much joy. i would watch hours of this 😭