How to play chess properly

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  • Опубліковано 22 гру 2012
  • An excellent round of chess here to demonstrate how the game should be played to it's full potential.
    NOTE: Not my video, it was sent to me via E-mail. I have no idea who made it, or if it is copyrighted or not? If you do own the copyright, and beleive this is infringement, please contact me and I will remove it.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 7 тис.

  • @chess
    @chess Рік тому +28070

    i've got to write this down 📝

    • @zephen
      @zephen Рік тому +859

      No way

    • @jimbobhk2009
      @jimbobhk2009 Рік тому +718

      Hi chess, I’m a huge fan

    • @MarcoMa210
      @MarcoMa210 Рік тому +910

      No fucking way its chess himself

    • @big_numbers
      @big_numbers Рік тому +291

      The god of chess has come

    • @evexec6436
      @evexec6436 Рік тому +214

      Y'all oughta add it as a variant

  • @tarastrong6875
    @tarastrong6875 9 років тому +20787

    They didn't even have to roll the dice. Very good sportsmanship!

    • @888fevertime
      @888fevertime 8 років тому +198

      ***** Oh, speaking of, did they ever get the rooks out of that goat?

    • @netherking0409
      @netherking0409 7 років тому +87

      They may have flipped a coin beforehand

    • @Icysandwich
      @Icysandwich 5 років тому +94

      Not a single trap card in sight, very gentleman of both of them to not use an underhanded technique

    • @finniko1995
      @finniko1995 4 роки тому +45

      I think Short could have used either the reverse card or the skip card to have the upper hand in the late game. Unless of course Kasparov had a Wild Draw Four card in his hand, but it was highly unlikely

    • @simonfredriksson255
      @simonfredriksson255 4 роки тому +1

      what do you know abotu thta bitch

  • @msck64x
    @msck64x Рік тому +4800

    I was actually expecting an actual chess tutorial bit this was so much better loved every second of it

    • @54045trevor
      @54045trevor Рік тому +112

      This is an actual chess tutorial, what do you mean?

    • @yourlocaldoomer
      @yourlocaldoomer Рік тому +3

      same

    • @allgamer3679
      @allgamer3679 Рік тому +11

      I use the omega unicorn play wbu?

    • @lewislake5128
      @lewislake5128 Рік тому +15

      What are you talking about?
      I thought the whizz-biz was the most common chess tactic ever?

    • @tumblingartist
      @tumblingartist Рік тому +5

      It’s very proper

  • @MarigoldWisp
    @MarigoldWisp Рік тому +836

    I'm sorry but 1:23 _"Kasparov is conglomerating his pawns into a mega chess-a-tron."_ is the coldest fucking line

    • @kronosbach5263
      @kronosbach5263 2 місяці тому +5

      It really is.

    • @judesliggoo
      @judesliggoo 2 місяці тому +2

      No it isn't.

    • @bunnerkins
      @bunnerkins 2 місяці тому +5

      I favour 2:09 "But will he have the pressure to shoo Shorts King away?"

    • @stupidyrh
      @stupidyrh Місяць тому

      @@judesliggooshut up

  • @YTDeepshock
    @YTDeepshock 8 років тому +31746

    How professional chess commentary sounds to most people.

  • @theholyegg6917
    @theholyegg6917 3 роки тому +4568

    How did he even win??.
    He didn’t even call Uno

    • @jacobgoldman2887
      @jacobgoldman2887 3 роки тому +194

      If you look closely at the quick poker game they played, Kasparov only revealed his worse cards. He didn't even play the giant cloud octopus. He did this because it allowed him to deploy it later while pissing, and therefor not have to call uno. He really is a master of the long game. Hope this answers your question

    • @0Space0dyssey
      @0Space0dyssey 3 роки тому +31

      Well don't forget the no talking rule in chess mate.. you need to follow the rules of chess

    • @thadamasterisepic
      @thadamasterisepic 3 роки тому +30

      Traditionally, instead of speaking when calling uno in chess, you'd instead angrily shake the board, whatever pieces that's fallen over from this is merely just casualties.

    • @teddyababybear3315
      @teddyababybear3315 3 роки тому +5

      @@jacobgoldman2887 u ruined it

    • @eow4317
      @eow4317 3 роки тому +11

      Well you don’t need to say Uno if your opponent has no cards left

  • @tigerlover2853
    @tigerlover2853 10 місяців тому +325

    “Aww, that’s Christmas over.”
    “Kasparov is conglomerating his pawns into a Megachessatron.”
    Well, that escalated quickly.

    • @ThaRealEnzyl
      @ThaRealEnzyl 2 місяці тому +4

      Immediately followed by “Short is converting his Queen to a Hotel”

    • @ChronDoc024
      @ChronDoc024 Місяць тому +1

      @@ThaRealEnzylAnd then "Kasparov's queen has been revealed to be an imitation"

  • @stapel1124
    @stapel1124 Рік тому +3366

    "Mom can we get chess?"
    "No we have chess at home"
    Chess at home:

  • @_username
    @_username 3 роки тому +6452

    "How do i play chess?"
    Google: *Shows a normal video*
    Bing:

  • @IboxingkangerooI
    @IboxingkangerooI 3 роки тому +5098

    "Hurry up and play your pathetic card, Yugi."
    "My deck has no pathetic cards, Kaiba."
    *starts pissing all over the field*

    • @diobutimnotdiobutitisidio1273
      @diobutimnotdiobutitisidio1273 3 роки тому +194

      "NOW, PREPARE FOR I HAVE PLAYED THE OCEAN AREA EFFECT, WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW KAIBA?!?"

    • @waffles6280
      @waffles6280 3 роки тому +102

      @@diobutimnotdiobutitisidio1273 obviously the only counter is to drink the pee

    • @diobutimnotdiobutitisidio1273
      @diobutimnotdiobutitisidio1273 3 роки тому +43

      @@waffles6280 of course

    • @Tokiko
      @Tokiko 3 роки тому +25

      This was obviously scripted. You can tell by the last two moves, since SCS can’t be used to answer Kisses on The Baker. Also, Kasperov’s piss is completely clear, which makes me believe he was actually using a bottle of water he shook.

    • @lionsmith3944
      @lionsmith3944 3 роки тому +15

      "I cast high tide"

  • @Big.G12
    @Big.G12 Рік тому +1048

    As a pro chess player I can confirm this is how you play chess properly.

    • @notthebees2950
      @notthebees2950 Рік тому +3

      What's your elo?

    • @runw1thscissorsYT
      @runw1thscissorsYT Рік тому +1

      @@notthebees2950 200 i know im a super mega grandmaster

    • @spy8527
      @spy8527 Рік тому +8

      ​@@notthebees2950 2000000 probably

    • @stare4539
      @stare4539 Рік тому

      FLax

    • @31redorange08
      @31redorange08 Місяць тому

      As an amateur chess player, I can confirm that the video is a parody and OP has no fucking clue what they're talking about.

  • @iLupi
    @iLupi 3 роки тому +6009

    So this is that 4D Chess that everyone’s been talking about.

  • @TheRealGovika
    @TheRealGovika 3 роки тому +10071

    "He's made his knight into a unicorn, obviously playing the long game."

    • @Corsaka
      @Corsaka 3 роки тому +68

      is that meant to be a reference to something

    • @TheRealGovika
      @TheRealGovika 3 роки тому +146

      @@Corsaka He says it in the first minute

    • @zeldamage001
      @zeldamage001 3 роки тому +36

      Obviously.

    • @Rockinxsteve
      @Rockinxsteve 3 роки тому +128

      There's different variations of openings in chess. some are called opened which are generally fast, some are closed which are long games

    • @hamsterdam1942
      @hamsterdam1942 3 роки тому +63

      @@TheRealGovika "He says it in the first minute"
      So what? Does your comment have any meaning or you're just quoted the video which I watched literally just now?

  • @ZeneonOmega
    @ZeneonOmega 9 місяців тому +22

    The fact the BBC logo is on the top-left hand corner makes this ten times funnier.

  • @F1nop
    @F1nop Рік тому +141

    “Kasparov pissing all over the board” got me dying.

  • @joshuarubenstein2298
    @joshuarubenstein2298 3 роки тому +14388

    Finally. After all these years. Chess 2.

    • @fyra_cat2119
      @fyra_cat2119 3 роки тому +223

      This is 4d chess

    • @ElliottBelser
      @ElliottBelser 2 роки тому +92

      Chess 2 wasn't half as good as this. I mean Chess 2 was an Ouya game for Gods sake.

    • @kikitapika9565
      @kikitapika9565 2 роки тому +16

      @Eric Lee 4

    • @s.c.p-foundation6923
      @s.c.p-foundation6923 2 роки тому +13

      @@fyra_cat2119 But 5d chess is already a thing tho?

    • @michaelbauers8800
      @michaelbauers8800 2 роки тому +22

      @@s.c.p-foundation6923 Well, 5D time traveling chess collapses down to 4D chess, if you analyze the available axis of freedom. I have yet to understand why the creator called it 5D chess. It's a 2D grid of 2D boards, so 2*2=4 dimensions. Maybe 5D was used to add additional confusion to an already confusing game. I honestly STILL am not always sure when checkmate occurs...because you can just be playing along, and BAM, it's checkmate, and neither player knows why. Then you analyze the position, and after the most recent move, some piece on the next player's turn could capture the king in the past, and you can't change the past.

  • @station428
    @station428 3 роки тому +7151

    I died at "upgrading his queen to a hotel"

  • @danielduhzgaming3070
    @danielduhzgaming3070 Рік тому +244

    Hitting the Megachessatron was actually a great play, it gave the person playing Black a huge advantage and gave them a chance to win using the cards, which could have seen him skip his opponents turn with a skip card from Uno. Unfortunately he didnt get lucky and earlier the spy had stolen his skip card, meaning it was all planned and calculated by the person playing white. Despite this White still had to use the meta and pissed all over the board, winning the game. It was clear the white player was pulling the strings the entire time

    • @notsansutplays8178
      @notsansutplays8178 9 місяців тому +2

      They were Short (black) and Kasparov (white)

    • @leroyspeelt
      @leroyspeelt 7 місяців тому +2

      Hitting the chessatron might have been a bad play for black because the chessatron wouldve prevented the piss from htting blacks king

  • @eliahtheguy
    @eliahtheguy Рік тому +35

    The fact that I clicked on this to actually get good at chess makes this video so much better

  • @kevinperez8213
    @kevinperez8213 Рік тому +10060

    The way he casually says “He conglomerates all his pawns and forms a mega chessatron.” Is just so goddamn funny to me

    • @Saw321lol
      @Saw321lol Рік тому +139

      For a moment I thought he was gonna say the pawns unionized

    • @redskyfilms5094
      @redskyfilms5094 Рік тому +18

      I see you everywhere man!

    • @shaadow3242
      @shaadow3242 Рік тому +33

      “Conglomerating” lmao

    • @viderevero1338
      @viderevero1338 Рік тому +4

      ​@@redskyfilms5094 No, you see his profile picture. It's a Vince reference.

    • @redskyfilms5094
      @redskyfilms5094 Рік тому +1

      @@shaadow3242 Ah, I see

  • @krimson_flux
    @krimson_flux 3 роки тому +6440

    "plays e4"
    "that's the classic Rasputin opening"

    • @wifflewaffel
      @wifflewaffel 3 роки тому +420

      As a chess player I can confirm that that is not called that

    • @krimson_flux
      @krimson_flux 3 роки тому +343

      @@wifflewaffel I was actually scratching my head a bit because I thought it was an opening that I was never taught before but then it hit me

    • @theodorepinnock1517
      @theodorepinnock1517 3 роки тому +157

      @@krimson_flux It is in fact called a 'King's Pawn Game'.

    • @AziZune
      @AziZune 3 роки тому +322

      @@theodorepinnock1517 I'm pretty sure that's the Rasputin opening

    • @bossinater43
      @bossinater43 3 роки тому +156

      And his opponent knows what he's doing with 1... e5, the classic Jonathan response!

  • @Panda-24
    @Panda-24 Рік тому +46

    I came here to genuinely learn something about chess but I am not disappointed.

  • @amazecat4238
    @amazecat4238 Рік тому +9

    I love how this starts out making fun of chess opening names and quickly descends into absurdity

  • @TheRealGuywithoutaMustache
    @TheRealGuywithoutaMustache 2 роки тому +13578

    He's such a good sport that he shook Kasparov's hand when he just finished urinating and didn't wash it

  • @ContraereaSerba
    @ContraereaSerba 8 років тому +7607

    What a shame, if Short waited long enough it would have been Easter and he could have resurrected the Chessiah

    • @dorian4191
      @dorian4191 3 роки тому +42

      4 years

    • @MrRiddle0
      @MrRiddle0 3 роки тому +12

      @@dorian4191 1 month

    • @Dersephh
      @Dersephh 3 роки тому +6

      @@MrRiddle0 1 hour

    • @kapsaysin
      @kapsaysin 3 роки тому +5

      @@Dersephh 1 hour again.

    • @Aphelia.
      @Aphelia. 3 роки тому +3

      @@kapsaysin 22 minutes.

  • @f_homo-s
    @f_homo-s Рік тому +104

    Upgrading his queen to a hotel was a real power play move

  • @andrebonilla7171
    @andrebonilla7171 11 місяців тому +17

    Little brother:I can play chess like a God. Also him during the game

  • @laynewindom9998
    @laynewindom9998 Рік тому +42

    I have to say that this was very professional gameplay between the two. Beautifully done

  • @irchadesfacuze2885
    @irchadesfacuze2885 3 роки тому +3780

    "still diagonally, some traditions die hard" got me dead 😂😂

    • @hungryleolord6043
      @hungryleolord6043 3 роки тому +146

      "She will have to leave, she can of course leave in any direction she likes"

    • @vedran3775
      @vedran3775 3 роки тому +41

      "Kasparov, Kasparov trying to convert one of his rooks into a unicorn, uhh that hasn't worked at all"

    • @lorenzo7059
      @lorenzo7059 3 роки тому +3

      yeah u died hard lmao

    • @kamuikadet6538
      @kamuikadet6538 3 роки тому +20

      Kasparov is conglomerating his pawns into a mega chessatron

    • @ManpreetSingh-hj8st
      @ManpreetSingh-hj8st Рік тому +8

      "Short's upgrading his queen into a hotel"

  • @LoraCoggins
    @LoraCoggins 3 роки тому +14119

    "Oh hey, it's Christmas!"
    "Well now Christmas is over."
    *M E G A C H E S S A T R O N*

    • @mt9456
      @mt9456 3 роки тому +228

      Lovely swing

    • @randomdude1890
      @randomdude1890 3 роки тому +205

      S T O N E C O L D S T E V E A U S T I N

    • @potatoheadpokemario1931
      @potatoheadpokemario1931 3 роки тому +62

      funny how after Christmas the board reverted back to the last actual move that would be played in a real game

    • @middlepinfromwiisports4089
      @middlepinfromwiisports4089 3 роки тому +73

      @@randomdude1890 P I S S I N G O N T H E B O A R D

    • @tongli4883
      @tongli4883 3 роки тому +32

      @@potatoheadpokemario1931 Ah yes, the pawn that has infiltrated black’s camp in between a8 and b7

  • @elementgermanium
    @elementgermanium 9 місяців тому +51

    Interesting the way Kasparov turned Short’s strategy against him. Originally, Short upgrading his knight was clearly an attempt at using unicorn magic to manipulate time and reach Christmas early, but this requires 4 unicorns’ power. His plan was likely to stall until next Easter and sacrifice his bishops to resurrect the Chessiah.
    Unfortunately, Kasparov’s spy proved crucial, causing a schism in Short’s church and foiling this strategy outright. He was then able to use an exploit in the rules to bring Christmas himself, by “attempting” to upgrade his rook, which allowed him to place multiple horns at once and thus activate the time warp. In the end, it only bought him one extra turn, so not as powerful as it would have been for Short had his strategy worked, but it was still a critical turning point a lot of people overlook.

  • @M_______________________
    @M_______________________ 11 місяців тому +7

    I have had Bell Tower as my alarm sound for over a year, and I legitimately flinched when I heard it at 1:11. I am convinced I can no longer hear a bell without panicking.

  • @AegisAuras
    @AegisAuras 3 роки тому +26693

    This is why they had to separate into women’s and men’s divisions. Men had too much of a natural advantage within the pissing meta.

    • @nahyankamale9989
      @nahyankamale9989 3 роки тому +2266

      Also don’t forget that womans could squirt all over the place making all of the enemy immobilized, this combo with the the queen chess could wipe out the entire formation with only a skills and 1 ult activation. Very op meta that almost get ban from the international chess championship.

    • @satanichiamcdowell6298
      @satanichiamcdowell6298 3 роки тому +496

      Or myabe because they just don't want them to do the dirty in a middle of a chess match

    • @nanorbogin896
      @nanorbogin896 3 роки тому +1455

      This has created a lot of controversy within the women's division, as transgender women who haven't had surgery yet are dominating due to their pissing advantage.

    • @Karthik-kt24
      @Karthik-kt24 3 роки тому +224

      I feel many people here watch Tier Zoo too

    • @tonytorchia7929
      @tonytorchia7929 3 роки тому +31

      I ruined the 769

  • @FuzzBugBea
    @FuzzBugBea 3 роки тому +1078

    Love how the black rook is still inverted during Christmas

    • @DynoSkrimisher
      @DynoSkrimisher 3 роки тому +44

      If he reverts, it confuse everyone again.

    • @NetheriteMiner
      @NetheriteMiner 3 роки тому +16

      @@DynoSkrimisher Nah if he inverted again, he'd be in Australia.

    • @dysfunctionalcaterpillar790
      @dysfunctionalcaterpillar790 3 роки тому +2

      @@NetheriteMiner the Cook strategy. Highly controversial due to it's ability to deport any pieces the opponent makes a blunder with, but undeniably effective.

    • @samcollins5655
      @samcollins5655 3 роки тому

      An inversion is for life, not just for Christmas

  • @skeleton9476
    @skeleton9476 Рік тому +13

    The way he says Mega Chessatron so calmly just makes me laugh-

  • @alveypaez5646
    @alveypaez5646 9 місяців тому +3

    I gotta love how when the pieces are playing football, the rook that reversed it's own gravity is still upside down.

  • @RJLpt
    @RJLpt 10 років тому +1385

    Damn, Garry Kasparov forgot to say Uno!

    • @exhaleinhale999
      @exhaleinhale999 3 роки тому +66

      oh fuck, I didn't even notice, this could have changed the game!
      yes i know it's been 6 years leave me alone

    • @longcx7242
      @longcx7242 3 роки тому +4

      Hey

    • @RJLpt
      @RJLpt 3 роки тому +10

      @@exhaleinhale999 hahaha :D

    • @mihailmilev9909
      @mihailmilev9909 3 роки тому

      @@longcx7242 Hi

    • @cooldude9798
      @cooldude9798 3 роки тому +1

      He didnt even sink Short's battleship!

  • @Twolol
    @Twolol 3 роки тому +5961

    i realized this isnt how chess works after 1:24

    • @patrickbilan3654
      @patrickbilan3654 3 роки тому +350

      Just get royal fush then you get ez run

    • @biblemaniswatchingyoumastu1920
      @biblemaniswatchingyoumastu1920 3 роки тому +658

      It wasn’t the pawn fainting that did it for you

    • @MortazaviGames
      @MortazaviGames 3 роки тому +226

      Wait, this isn't how chess works?

    • @moarisakeerysime4744
      @moarisakeerysime4744 3 роки тому +96

      All we need is a spy, and a lot of hotels. That way you wouldn't be supply blocked plus you got vision from that changeling into pawn.

    • @Volatile127
      @Volatile127 3 роки тому +23

      I died with the chessatron

  • @electrocubic5116
    @electrocubic5116 Рік тому +33

    I had never imagined I would ever come across this video in my whole life. What a masterpiece! I'm just speechless! The commentary was on point! 👏👏🤣

  • @shimenone4150
    @shimenone4150 Рік тому +4

    thats just how a typical Yu-Gi-Oh TV duel evolves

  • @kurisader7914
    @kurisader7914 3 роки тому +1631

    How board games expect you to play: "Follow the rules"
    "Play fair"
    "enjoy your time with others"
    How we actually play board games:

    • @Pearkyx
      @Pearkyx 3 роки тому +16

      Rule 1, there are no rules

    • @Crazylom
      @Crazylom 3 роки тому +3

      D&D*

    • @darkguardian9809
      @darkguardian9809 Рік тому +5

      Ignore the first two to achieve the third

  • @rg2359
    @rg2359 8 років тому +7165

    How the hell did Short lose this match? His opening strategy was flawless and Kasparov just made mistake after mistake - he couldn't even make a goddamn unicorn and lost his megachessatron.

    • @NicoUnken
      @NicoUnken 8 років тому +253

      This is why you never give up.

    • @TheKingShyGuy.
      @TheKingShyGuy. 7 років тому +543

      After short's church fell apart it left him open, so he changed his queen into a hotel, but his monarchy fell apart. Leaving his king open to the power of urine.

    • @thrandompug2254
      @thrandompug2254 7 років тому +63

      his piss stream was stonger

    • @apathymanthemundane4165
      @apathymanthemundane4165 7 років тому +141

      I think short should have republicized, rather than go for the hotel.

    • @CpnGame
      @CpnGame 6 років тому +95

      Kasparov had the foresight to drink plenty of fluids before the match, and that made all the difference.

  • @sarojandongol1482
    @sarojandongol1482 7 місяців тому +3

    Can't believe I could just piss over the board to win. The opponent just forfeits. Works like a charm.

  • @Enirom
    @Enirom 10 місяців тому +10

    I really thought this is going to be a normal chess tutorial
    But i am not disappointed, this is so much better

  • @overseereros7935
    @overseereros7935 3 роки тому +2354

    Poor white pawn that went to spy on the enemy got pissed on.
    Friendly fire needs to be turned off for the urination

    • @failure4452
      @failure4452 3 роки тому +96

      Friendly fire can only be disabled if you have the blessing of the ancients, allowing you to spend a turn cloaking your pieces and pawns to that form of damage. Which, of course, first requires tributing two pieces to summon Blue Eyes White Dragon, obtainable into one’s deck by getting 5-0 wipe at the Christmas football intermission.

    • @halo.r
      @halo.r 3 роки тому +11

      Gotta sac the king to make Notch for one round to disable friendly fire

    • @halo.r
      @halo.r 3 роки тому +10

      @@failure4452 nah he could sac all his pieces and get 100% luck to summon Exits the forbidden

    • @maradupras7278
      @maradupras7278 2 роки тому +9

      Those are 2 sentences that I never thought I would read but here we are.

    • @drakebalzer2098
      @drakebalzer2098 2 роки тому +1

      Double Agent

  • @a.h.s.3006
    @a.h.s.3006 3 роки тому +3050

    I can't believe this sketch is only 2:23 minutes, it was so packed

    • @ceoofcomedy3009
      @ceoofcomedy3009 2 роки тому +111

      "Two minutes twenty-three seconds minutes"

    • @slicedbombings8402
      @slicedbombings8402 2 роки тому +22

      I want this video to be A N I M A T E D

    • @mmm-ek4cm
      @mmm-ek4cm Рік тому +23

      of course you can't believe it is 2 minutes and 23 seconds because it is 2 minutes and 24 seconds

    • @Rangadus
      @Rangadus Рік тому +1

      @@slicedbombings8402Suggestion taken into consideration. Thank you.

    • @yuya0064
      @yuya0064 Рік тому +2

      this definitely felt longer than 2:23 minutes

  • @imnotasheep7299
    @imnotasheep7299 Рік тому +7

    Kasparov could have use the Tennison gambit specifically the Interconentinal Ballistic Missile variation when his opponent turned his horse into a unicorn. This will not only prevent black's queen from promoting into a hotel in the future, it will also stop black from playing Kg2. but overall, a beautiful brilliant move by Kasparov at the end immediately crushing his opponents pawn structure and pushing black's king off the board. What a spectacular play

  • @TheKnifeRaven
    @TheKnifeRaven 10 місяців тому +3

    The narration is so eloquent and refined, this somehow doesn't feel like a parody.

  • @jacefairis1289
    @jacefairis1289 9 років тому +8639

    Short made a pretty amateur mistake - the megachessatron was clearly a trap to get him to knock it off, exposing his king to a clear shot from the penis. What he should've done is upgraded his Unicorn to a Siege Pegasus, then use it to take over China to get the 7 extra men at the end of every turn - Kasparaov would've had to roll two 6s to defend against the might of the Siege Pegasus. From there, you can convert all the men you get into mana to summon Emrakul, the Aeons Torn - it doesn't matter what color your pieces are, because Emrakul only uses colorless mana. From there it's easy to win.

    • @Nickyyy-
      @Nickyyy- 8 років тому +94

      You're trying too hard

    • @makaron369
      @makaron369 3 роки тому +488

      @@Nickyyy- maybe, but i thought it was funny regardless

    • @curiousnerdkitteh
      @curiousnerdkitteh 3 роки тому +283

      Next time we play chess I want you on my team.

    • @SyrNikoliTheBastardous
      @SyrNikoliTheBastardous 3 роки тому +199

      Kasparov should've played his +4, summoned his Charizard in attack mode, then let his opponent play the slam dunk, in which he'll touchdown to crank a couple of 90's and snipe him, his opponent would've acquired a blue shell, so Kasparov will find the hypotenuse of the bishop's triangle

    • @Shenaldrac
      @Shenaldrac 3 роки тому +94

      Actually colorless mana doesn't exist. There is simply a symbol that indicates that any mana may be used, this is a slight but *crucial* difference that must be remembered when sacrificing pieces of any color to summon an eldritch horror.

  • @0Bennyman
    @0Bennyman 3 роки тому +6566

    "Ahh this is an actual documentary"
    *Flips Rook Upsidedown*
    "Ahh this is an actual documentary"

  • @omargustavomalavevargas9388
    @omargustavomalavevargas9388 7 місяців тому +1

    I like how the moves get more and more complex

  • @emmaorduna9544
    @emmaorduna9544 9 місяців тому +3

    In the end there he had to see the king as that stain on the toilet bowl to really muster up the courage in order to get maximum pressure and save the game-what a fantastic recover, from losing to Stone Cold Steve Austin laides and gentlemen. I must say, after the golf swing taking out the Mega-chess-a-tron I was deeply afraid of what he could do in those final moments there but, as you can see, he managed to pull it off with Full House. Truly a remarkable performance.

  • @aidan6620
    @aidan6620 3 роки тому +2290

    I legit thought the inverted rook was a strategy at first like
    "is he marking his rook for a move later?"
    and then just " *_o h_* "

    • @kyoken2007
      @kyoken2007 3 роки тому +20

      Like, who doesn't?

    • @boyfromthemountains
      @boyfromthemountains 3 роки тому +94

      We have a move in which you invert you rook it's when a pawn is promoted and another queen is required and one of the rooks is off the bord! 😎

    • @theteutonking3306
      @theteutonking3306 3 роки тому +12

      @@boyfromthemountains I dont think thats official...

    • @boyfromthemountains
      @boyfromthemountains 3 роки тому +34

      @@theteutonking3306 it's not official it's just what we do so I could relate to it!

    • @DD-is3ng
      @DD-is3ng 3 роки тому +10

      Shubham Thakur
      Yeah same here. One of my rooks got taken out so I just flipped it over to act as my second queen. Don’t ask how I have two queens.

  • @AegisAuras
    @AegisAuras 3 роки тому +4325

    If Short didn’t lose momentum to take down the Christmas decorations he could’ve spent that turn studying necromancy and use that advantage to revive units from his previous match.

    • @hudsongarwood7218
      @hudsongarwood7218 3 роки тому +136

      Rookie mistake

    • @realdragon
      @realdragon 3 роки тому +78

      Fair but necromancy is countered easily by rolling 12 or above

    • @jimmylundblom9370
      @jimmylundblom9370 3 роки тому +63

      @@realdragon That may be true, but if you reanimate a megachessatron, you can easily get a 25 killstreak to nuke the board before that ever happens. You can't roll dice until after the first piece of exodia has been drawn. Since they never got to the draw faze because nobody played and uno +2 or 4, rolling could not be done.

    • @NightNinjaishere
      @NightNinjaishere 3 роки тому +30

      @@jimmylundblom9370 he could of still use the barkov method and played nicol bolas in defense mode to draw 3 cards and then use all the chaos emeralds to instantly knock out his megachessatron

    • @onyourleft9273
      @onyourleft9273 3 роки тому +24

      @@NightNinjaishere true but the piss meta can easily counter the megachessatron however if you spec into defence you’re chessatron may survive but that requires you to sacrifice points in offence and movement so a tank build is a lose-lose situation because with less movement speed the queen-bishop combo has a 93% rate of taking down chessatrons so I think the next patch should buff the chessatrons and ban the pissing move though that would be controversial since the male audience will fell left out and that would lead to the bankruptcy of the world chess organisation and that would lead to an economy crash leading to a world war over oil which would lead to a nuclear fallout and given the lack of a stable economy caused by the ban of the pissing meta I assume the last of the human species would die out within a decade

  • @sifou0550
    @sifou0550 Рік тому +2

    I saved this video thinking It was gonna show me how to actually play chess. Was not disappointed despite not being it

  • @Cole_Is_A_Mole
    @Cole_Is_A_Mole 6 місяців тому +2

    2:03 This is why you always have to convince your opponent to take a dump before the match begins!

  • @n3gi_
    @n3gi_ 3 роки тому +1067

    The moment he filped his rook, i knew I've been bated.

    • @CidGuerreiro1234
      @CidGuerreiro1234 3 роки тому +50

      I saw the duration first and thought "... this is a shitpost, isn't it", but I'm glad I took the bait.

    • @daniellukonics2246
      @daniellukonics2246 3 роки тому +8

      I mean, the "properly" kind of implied some sort of treachery imo 😂

    • @thsbh2
      @thsbh2 3 роки тому +20

      I caught on at “the classic Rasputin opening.”

    • @joeywood4876
      @joeywood4876 3 роки тому +2

      Did you not look at the thumb nail, you would have seen all those pawns surowning a fainted pawn buddy...ok ....ok.

    • @mrkiky
      @mrkiky 3 роки тому +2

      "the rasputin opening"
      wait, since when is 1.e4 called rasputin opening?
      "the jonathan response"
      oh ok...

  • @paprus5972
    @paprus5972 2 роки тому +7895

    Kasparov made a good play by placing the spy in Short's ranks. That spy actually caused the schism in Short's bishops, which prevented him from making the Pope. The pope would have prevented Short from having to take down the christmas decorations, which would have allowed Short to easily counter the Megachessatron AND develop his pieces. This would've left Kasparov in a losing position, due to his lack of pawns.

    • @zewzit
      @zewzit Рік тому +300

      exactly, and if Short was not delayed because of the christmas decorations, Kasparov would have to pay for staying at Short's hotel, giving Short enough money to special summon the church property, reuniting his bishop workforce. Alas, Short took too long, and even activated Kasparov's trap card of revealing his queen's actress whenever a hole in one is made, which only made Kasparov's bladder grow fuller and fuller...

    • @leroyspeelt
      @leroyspeelt Рік тому +61

      @@zewzit but then the opponent uses his 1 time use special ability = shitting all over the board

    • @mohamedazadabdulrahman3226
      @mohamedazadabdulrahman3226 Рік тому +38

      countering the MEGACHESSATRON is enough since Kasparov already lost his pawns because he used all the pawns to make the MEGACHESSATRON

    • @wildfire9280
      @wildfire9280 Рік тому +27

      @@leroyspeelt Genius counter when your opponent starts with the weaker of the bladder/bowel movements.

    • @deleted-something
      @deleted-something Рік тому +3

      Yes

  • @pizzatowerlapguy
    @pizzatowerlapguy 3 місяці тому +2

    the fact he literally took a piss and knocked out the king is something

  • @FaeTheMf
    @FaeTheMf Рік тому +2

    The calm narration makes it 10x better 😂

  • @wedzonynapojgazowany4933
    @wedzonynapojgazowany4933 8 років тому +566

    He's upgrading his queen into a hotel xD This is the most beautiful thing ever.

    • @wooper2434
      @wooper2434 3 роки тому +33

      Not the best move though, after short converted, the king was left in shambles, and the hierarchy fell. Simply put, it left the king open to a piss attack

    • @DavidBrit101
      @DavidBrit101 3 роки тому +1

      Yet he gave the money to Kasparov

    • @MICROKNIGHT3000
      @MICROKNIGHT3000 3 роки тому

      Is this... a s*x joke...?

    • @zewzit
      @zewzit 3 роки тому

      that was definiitely the part where I burst laughed xD. Best move

    • @vi2e
      @vi2e 3 роки тому +2

      @@MICROKNIGHT3000 yes! the hotel is a whorehouse!

  • @KZ-wl5by
    @KZ-wl5by 3 роки тому +239

    The fact that there wasn’t one UNO reverse card played throughout the whole match really shows the sportsmanship between both opponents. Honorable win by white, and a well fought match by black.

    • @Chris-vf8fe
      @Chris-vf8fe 2 роки тому +21

      Even if there was, I believe Kasperov had a counterspell in his opening hand

  • @JS-my4jw
    @JS-my4jw Рік тому +9

    Absolutely brilliant. What a masterpiece of a match. Truly an honour to behold.
    Only thing I saw was Kasperov had the potential to 1-up Short's Stone Cold play with a sneaky Blue-Eyes White Dragon to end the match without resorting to the urination play (which in and of itself was a nice play, might I add).

    • @elementgermanium
      @elementgermanium 9 місяців тому +2

      It wouldn’t have ended the match right away, you’re confusing it with Exodia, which was made useless in 2008 when the Left Leg got banned for balancing reasons. It would however have shut down Short’s attack, so Kasparov would still be in a favorable position even without his Megachessatron.

  • @DallyLama93
    @DallyLama93 8 місяців тому +1

    Honestly pissing on the board should be a valid move

  • @SquaredMediaAnimations
    @SquaredMediaAnimations 10 років тому +2550

    My eyes are watering I'm lolling so hard.

  • @scorpion4074
    @scorpion4074 2 роки тому +3074

    Kasparov really took a calculated risk here, he had Short in the perfect position to launch an RT-2PM2 Topol-M Cold-Launched Three-staged Solid-Propellant Silo-Based Intercontinental Ballistic Missile towards Short's king, but decided to minimise casualties and prevent damage to Mrs Bond the Baker with his peeing manoeuvre. Well played

    • @123thebigguy9
      @123thebigguy9 2 роки тому +143

      The Geneva convention would have been brought up if he had considered launching it. The pieces had played Football with them therefore, they didnt want everyone to die. Anyways, the spy was still in there. It was smart not to use that move in my opinion .

    • @edmontonboy99
      @edmontonboy99 2 роки тому +25

      That’s the Kasparov Piddle for ya, not a great move but I enjoy letting myself out.

    • @thesithofearth3617
      @thesithofearth3617 Рік тому +12

      I wonder if he even knows how to protect a shopping trolley from a grenade

    • @pancakesareawesome3121
      @pancakesareawesome3121 Рік тому +2

      Geez, you sound like Bosnian Ape Society

    • @blackseir6390
      @blackseir6390 Рік тому +2

      Ah the ol tennison gambit variation

  • @josephcoombs1614
    @josephcoombs1614 Рік тому +1

    This video was truly ahead of its time (10 years ago).

  • @xyro9115
    @xyro9115 Рік тому

    I clicked expecting a lesson.
    I got an amazing series of anecdotes.

  • @dsdat11
    @dsdat11 3 роки тому +849

    As a person trying to learn chess, *I'm not dissapointed.*
    *100% not clickbait*

  • @autumn4442
    @autumn4442 3 роки тому +907

    This is when I use the Tennison gambit: Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Variation

    • @l3on500
      @l3on500 3 роки тому +58

      Yes, it can be helpful. But in my opinion, the Death Star opening allows for a better combo with the shiny charizard card

    • @bow8548
      @bow8548 3 роки тому +36

      @@l3on500 The Inter Continental Ballistic Missile Variation is an actual strategy where you position your knight to fork the queen and the rook and also opening up an attack on the queen, if your opponent takes the knight with their king which is the only possible piece that can take the knight, then the queen loses its only defender and is taken, a knight for a queen trade is pretty bad though, considering that opens up your opponent to pull a shiny Lugia if set up correctly

    • @prajwalkrishnabhat5539
      @prajwalkrishnabhat5539 3 роки тому +3

      @@bow8548 bro, u just ruined the vibes man. That's wiggity wack yo.

    • @bow8548
      @bow8548 3 роки тому +27

      @@prajwalkrishnabhat5539 gotta inform the public about the shiny Lugia gambit bro sorry

    • @atomic647
      @atomic647 3 роки тому +7

      @@bow8548 yes shiny lugia gambit is good but a first edition holographic charizard counters it very well and allows for a clean conversion into shiny charizard, which is a better winning strategy. the optimal play against this combination is the lightsaber pro max, which has a hidden bonus against shiny charizard, but that falls to the pissong strategy and to intercontinental ballistic missile variation. however these strategies are not very well known, so in a public tournament the shiny lugia gambit works well.

  • @youtubeaccount8074
    @youtubeaccount8074 9 місяців тому +8

    Rules:
    1 you can invert rooks and place them outsidd fhe board, but they cant interact with the pieces when inverted
    2 chess pieces can react to anything thats happening in their field off view
    3 there is a random chance a curse event will happen to any pawn piece, like confusion, nausea, fainting, vommiting, and having disabilitys
    4 you can invest monopoly money to upgrade one of your pieces (a bishop can transform into a unicorn that hav longer range before turning)
    5 each one of your pawns has a role thats secret, like janitor, spy, civilian, detective and imposter
    6 every piece has their own believes and urges, like in religion or sexuality
    7 chess pieces communicate using signs with text
    8 when u group pieces they can form a cult, because of this they can choose to leave their kingdom and they can trigger events like jesus christ who clears half the field
    9 upgrading a piece can fail making a worse version of that piece
    10 chess pieces can be passive to their enemy on certain seasons or because they share the same believes
    11 for 3500 monopoly money you can merge your troops, combining each of their hp stats into 1 big megatron
    12 you can place hotels on pieces for diffrent amounts of money, depending on their rank they will generate cash each turn x10
    13 pieces age by time, at age of 65 they can retire and leave the chess board
    14 you can pay to monopoly money to swing a golf club, for each piece you hit you have to pay more money, if you dont have enoug you have to sell your own pawns
    15 when there is no active event happening you can offer a game off poker, you both start with 1 boss card
    16, if you need to ejaculate you are allowed to do that, each piece you hit wont be able to move that turn, they can also leave the board if they are covered too much
    That were all the rules off this match

  • @paudiedaly22
    @paudiedaly22 9 місяців тому +2

    Personally, I think that the person playing black should've turned his king into a Primaris Redemptor Dreadnought instead of turning his queen into a hotel. The hotel would've been great for generating the defence budget, but the Redemptor Dreadnought's firepower of up to 31 shots per turn (if it has the heavy onslaught gatling cannon), 8 inches of movement, and 5 attacks of D3+3 damage per wound have made his king immune to White's ungodly piss attacks. However, both players did an excellent job at fighting till their last breaths.

  • @FloatingSunfish
    @FloatingSunfish 3 роки тому +518

    I finally see why there are countless books on this ancient, complex game.

  • @coasterfreak91210
    @coasterfreak91210 3 роки тому +761

    This is the greatest delivery of "Stone Cold Steve Austin" I've ever seen

  • @GB-tc4hr
    @GB-tc4hr 6 місяців тому +2

    Informative
    Thank you

  • @bedwarschamp0167
    @bedwarschamp0167 8 місяців тому +1

    Kasparov sending a spy to his opponent's side is the most historically hilarious thing I've ever seen.

  • @squiddog8933
    @squiddog8933 3 роки тому +405

    Hopefully we'll get these features in Chess 2

    • @CidGuerreiro1234
      @CidGuerreiro1234 3 роки тому +19

      I just hope they nerf the Megachessatron in the next patch, damn thing is way too OP right now.

    • @l3on500
      @l3on500 3 роки тому +10

      @@CidGuerreiro1234 True, but you gotta admit that the "get out of jail free" card from the Summer patch has brought some balance back into the game

    • @Dersephh
      @Dersephh 3 роки тому +9

      @@l3on500 that card only makes tennison gambit intercontinental ballistic missile variation much more op than anything else

    • @mr_nothing9779
      @mr_nothing9779 3 роки тому +3

      Chess 2:electric boogalu

    • @BruvTheCertifiedEgg
      @BruvTheCertifiedEgg 3 роки тому +3

      @@Dersephh yeah but, that can easily be beaten by lego minecraft steve and a well-aimed sock slingshot

  • @benjamincalloway
    @benjamincalloway 3 роки тому +438

    My biggest claim to fame is that, for all four years in my high school's chess club, I played with my rooks inverted.

    • @Tokiko
      @Tokiko 3 роки тому +10

      @pycl No, you can unlock it if you beat the Championship boss on hard if you can bait them to invert one of your rooks. More rooks inverted means higher chance, but takes more strategy.

    • @LucIndustries
      @LucIndustries 3 роки тому +2

      You could have been the capitan if you had just learned the missle variation of the tennison gambit.
      ua-cam.com/video/E2xNlzsnPCQ/v-deo.html
      Basic stuff tbh.

  • @IBreatheHowToForgot
    @IBreatheHowToForgot 9 місяців тому

    Finally i won a chess battle thanks dude

  • @elemasterplayz
    @elemasterplayz 7 місяців тому

    I can indeed confirm this is how u play chess the right way

  • @LeftyGuns87
    @LeftyGuns87 9 років тому +602

    I always knew chess was difficult.

  • @Osmium498
    @Osmium498 3 роки тому +3961

    Amateurs, Short clearly should have sacrificed 3 of his pawns to create a Demonic Bishop. The Demonic Bishop would have increased his faith by +10% each turn which would have allowed him to corrupt his king, corrupting the king would have temporarily increased his WiFi to 3 bars which would allow him to call an Uber. The Uber drops off 5 fast food employees which could provide defense against the piss strategy because of their public restrooms. He could then sacrifice his demonic Bishop to mana resurrect Cathulu. Cathulu has an exclusive ability to instantly raise the opponent’s wanted level to 5-stars. The military would then arrest the opposing king and Short would have won. These people don’t even know the basics of chess.

    • @leotamer5
      @leotamer5 3 роки тому +473

      People who don't know the rules shouldn't be committing. White's play to inverse his Rook inflicted the confusion status, which caused the Church Schism effect. The Church Schism causing you to lose one Bishop and reduces faith by -20% until Christmas. This would had delayed the king's corruption for long enough for White to have claimed a monopoly on tele-communication services or sue Uber on behalf of taxi companies, and thus prevented the public restroom defense, which is weak at best.
      The current play is to invert White's other rook, which would have activated the Pandemonium condition. This would have triggered his trap card and allow him to attack his king as a bonus action while ignoring the multi-attack penalty. This is enough to take the King to half health, at which point he could cover his side of the board with his arms and head until he wins when the opposing king bleeds out.
      Now this is presuming we are talking about the Standard Idaho 1.83 edition, the only one that makes any sense.

    • @AlexSimedre
      @AlexSimedre 3 роки тому +35

      This needs to go up. Lmao

    • @abinocular7941
      @abinocular7941 3 роки тому +11

      Needs to go up

    • @silksonghornet3722
      @silksonghornet3722 3 роки тому +8

      Sure

    • @HawkOfGP
      @HawkOfGP 3 роки тому +142

      I've analyzed this game extensively with Stockfish and you are talking out of your ass. These guys are grandmasters. It's really easy to say black should've gone for a different plan in the middle game, but there are no guarantees it would've worked because IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED CHESS BEFORE, white also has turns and gets to react to the Demonic Bishop attack before Cathulu ever has a chance to appear on the board. These kinds of bishop traps probably work at 1500 Elo or whatever amateur level you play at, but it would've never surprised Kasparov. Gimme a fcking break.

  • @user-hl5oz5od9k
    @user-hl5oz5od9k 7 місяців тому

    It's a wonder that this video is recommended to me 10 years after its release and got me into chess lmao

  • @davemiller3298
    @davemiller3298 Рік тому +1

    Thank you for teaching me the ways of chess.

  • @hankhill243
    @hankhill243 9 років тому +573

    I love it when they play outside the rigged confines of book theory and rely just on skill.

  • @toastytoast2653
    @toastytoast2653 2 роки тому +1684

    The fact that this existed 8 years ago back in 2013 is absolutely priceless.

    • @noyes4656
      @noyes4656 2 роки тому +35

      So what? You think people back then didnt know what comedy was?

    • @RoflcopterLamo
      @RoflcopterLamo Рік тому +133

      @@noyes4656 Obviously
      Comedy was invented in 2016 with the water bottle flip

    • @reallycantthinkofausername487
      @reallycantthinkofausername487 Рік тому +29

      @@RoflcopterLamo actually it was invented when the dab became popular

    • @lunakm764
      @lunakm764 Рік тому +6

      actually comedy was invented in 335 bce....

    • @yourfatboy5359
      @yourfatboy5359 Рік тому +4

      Why?

  • @abhishekparmar8051
    @abhishekparmar8051 Рік тому +1

    This video was popping up in my feed for past few days, I thought of learning something, but.......yeah it told me how win through multitasking and drinking a lot of water before the game.

  • @badpiggies24
    @badpiggies24 Рік тому +1

    This man I can't wait for chess 2

  • @Nobody134
    @Nobody134 3 роки тому +132

    Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING could have prepared me for the mega chess-a-tron

  • @kaitohill
    @kaitohill 3 роки тому +453

    "..into a unicorn, obviously playing the long game"
    Heh yeah, obviously

    • @Chris-vf8fe
      @Chris-vf8fe 2 роки тому

      I mean, there's a few lines out of the Jonathan response that utilize the unicorn for a short term attack, but they really don't work great at the higher levels due to the prevalence of one ups

  • @ThePCguy17
    @ThePCguy17 11 місяців тому

    Every once in a while, I forget about this video. The algorithm doesn't let that state of affairs last, and for this I am grateful.

  • @jevo_2228
    @jevo_2228 Рік тому +1

    I have no clue what’s happening but it’s still hella entertaining it’s like that how to play chess properly video

  • @qoque2737
    @qoque2737 2 роки тому +942

    For the people confused, they're playing 4d chess in a classic 1d board.

    • @TheNotSoRealJeff2
      @TheNotSoRealJeff2 2 роки тому +11

      Thank you very much.

    • @cheese0827
      @cheese0827 Рік тому +17

      2d board

    • @zeeb.1763
      @zeeb.1763 Рік тому +11

      They're doing so by using the lesser known Glatorian Workaround

    • @sablesalt
      @sablesalt Рік тому +9

      Which dlc and updates do they have added on?
      I keep trying to use these stratigies but am losing to my opponent asking me if I have any exodia the forbidden one before I answer go fish and then they repeat this process until they get all 5 pieces and auto win, am I just bad or has there been an update that made this strategy unviable in the current metagame?

    • @andrazprelec8263
      @andrazprelec8263 Рік тому

      ​@@cheese0827did he fucking stutter?

  • @taylort3674
    @taylort3674 9 років тому +431

    If they played like this more often they'd have way more people in chess club

    • @curiousnerdkitteh
      @curiousnerdkitteh 3 роки тому +65

      A lot fewer boards though

    • @taylort3674
      @taylort3674 3 роки тому +52

      @@curiousnerdkitteh sometimes we need to make sacrifices

    • @ADeeSHUPA
      @ADeeSHUPA 3 роки тому

      @@taylort3674 uP

  • @Agent-bk8vw
    @Agent-bk8vw 8 місяців тому

    A whole decade for UA-cam to recommend this

  • @The___Rat
    @The___Rat 11 місяців тому

    Shoutout to the pawn that stayed in the same place the whole time, being the only piece to make a legal move and stay that way

  • @benjaminbrandis5716
    @benjaminbrandis5716 3 роки тому +119

    "Short's upgrading his Queen to a hotel" good one!

  • @micah_rt5492
    @micah_rt5492 3 роки тому +672

    It’d be funny if they added a little _”zip”_ noise at the end, then the players shake hands.

    • @dasillosa
      @dasillosa 3 роки тому +47

      But no water running noise, Kasparov didn't wash his hands D:

    • @redeye4516
      @redeye4516 2 роки тому +31

      The fact there's no zip implies that Kasparov shook hands with his penis out.

    • @awfvil2717
      @awfvil2717 2 роки тому +1

      @@redeye4516 kinda gay

    • @AbhijayAgarwal
      @AbhijayAgarwal 2 роки тому +16

      @@awfvil2717 The distance between 2 chess players is about 1.5 feet, which is much less than the recommended distance between two straight men, which is more than 5 feet. Therefore, you are indeed correct with your theory

    • @suddenva118
      @suddenva118 Рік тому +10

      This has one implication I find funnier Kasparov isnt wearing pants

  • @gamerstheater1187
    @gamerstheater1187 8 місяців тому +1

    This went from trouble in the chess ranks to power Ranger zords in like 2 seconds

  • @mahimahsan8386
    @mahimahsan8386 Рік тому

    Dude this is pure GENIUS!