The Most USELESS Magic Items in Your Inventory

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  • Опубліковано 13 жов 2023
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    Welcome one and all, come inside horno's hole!
    Doesn't matter if your small, or as big as a troll!
    Horno's got potions, goblets, and trinkets galore!
    It all fits in his hole and there's room for much more!
    Yes it's true, poeple will often peg him as a jester
    Because he charges so low, yet his hole never festers!
    Music:
    Lord of the Land - Kevin Macleod
    Written and Directed by:
    Frank St. John & Michael Romaniello
    Cinematography by:
    Mitchell Nance
    #wizards #comedy #sketchcomedy
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1 тис.

  • @Wizards_with_Guns
    @Wizards_with_Guns  8 місяців тому +1116

    What other useless items do you think Horno should have in stock?

    • @The_Avarage_Communist
      @The_Avarage_Communist 8 місяців тому +210

      Ring of invisibility but your only invisible when no one is looking.

    • @chrisj3938
      @chrisj3938 8 місяців тому +105

      - a knife that glows in the dark and has a compass in the hilt
      - a sword that doesn't injure you, but instead gives its victims erectile dysfunction
      - a rock with a big spike on it

    • @zasarch8730
      @zasarch8730 8 місяців тому +26

      A broken Minecraft watch nothing special about it is just broken watch

    • @NixNack
      @NixNack 8 місяців тому +68

      The severed hand of grogrofitch, welder of the frost region. touching it to any object makes that object uncomfortably cold.

    • @aidsdoh8286
      @aidsdoh8286 8 місяців тому +19

      The whip of getting whipped.

  • @ryxlwyx
    @ryxlwyx 8 місяців тому +4454

    For a second there when the sword was introduced I was worried there would be an actually useful product

    • @doozy5184
      @doozy5184 8 місяців тому +457

      I mean, if the sword's properties work while it's a fork, you'd have a fork that could both be used as a weapon and a terrifying way to eat food.

    • @bugzilla318
      @bugzilla318 8 місяців тому +219

      @@doozy5184Divine smite the vegetables.

    • @MrRedpanda2442
      @MrRedpanda2442 8 місяців тому +73

      So you are saying the Obamanomicon is not useful?!?

    • @PresidentMystry
      @PresidentMystry 8 місяців тому +10

      @@bugzilla318or your tongue…

    • @wrathofainz
      @wrathofainz 8 місяців тому +13

      It _was_ useful...

  • @Crystal_Remorhaz
    @Crystal_Remorhaz 8 місяців тому +2683

    I like the detail that he only says "dirty gnome" after deliberately placing the pen down, implying that the pen had no effect on what he said after that point.

    • @asagoldsmith3328
      @asagoldsmith3328 6 місяців тому +182

      Or the effect is permanent

    • @hak1111111
      @hak1111111 4 місяці тому +213

      It's just a regular pen. He just uses it to declare his belief in hope that there will be no consequences

    • @Azrage
      @Azrage 4 місяці тому +105

      He does sell a suspiciously high amount of gnome-skin products.

    • @Dead2you
      @Dead2you 3 місяці тому +13

      he also found the bottle IN the genie lmfao.

  • @jmaz333
    @jmaz333 8 місяців тому +1669

    You actually put down the potion of delayed sneezing at the start of the video, the level of detail is immaculate.

    • @ananass8030
      @ananass8030 5 місяців тому +45

      Just checked, it's true😅

  • @yesitsreallyOtter
    @yesitsreallyOtter 8 місяців тому +2429

    The Clock'o'lantern honestly is something I would enjoy having. Like, it wouldn't be USEFUL, but I'd still enjoy it

    • @KoolWithAQ
      @KoolWithAQ 8 місяців тому +194

      I'd love a "You're late for work" at 3 AM

    • @CrizzyEyes
      @CrizzyEyes 8 місяців тому +46

      It reminds me of the Sheikah Stones from Zelda. Except even more useless

    • @unOrigiNik
      @unOrigiNik 8 місяців тому +61

      I think just once it should have said the exact time stamp the video was at

    • @nickevers9263
      @nickevers9263 8 місяців тому +12

      Joy bringing is certainly a use 😁

    • @xaius4348
      @xaius4348 8 місяців тому +11

      When I checked the web earlier I think I saw a gnome or dwarf running off with it

  • @Protanly
    @Protanly 8 місяців тому +1441

    That clearly wasn’t the Boomerang of Suspenseful Return. It was clearly the Boomerang of Deceit which tricks you into thinking it’s the Boomerang of Suspenseful Return. The Boomerang of Suspenseful Return will clearly return in the next episode when we least expect it.

    • @PajamaPantsStudios
      @PajamaPantsStudios 8 місяців тому +102

      It was suspenseful, but not surprising. The boomerang of surprising return would show up next video

    • @bobvella7228
      @bobvella7228 8 місяців тому +27

      but you expected it, it should return in the first episode, which i do not remember very well.

    • @Tomattoism
      @Tomattoism 8 місяців тому +1

      Clearly

    • @Protanly
      @Protanly 8 місяців тому +10

      @@Tomattoism Sorry my guy. I was 4 potions of clearsight deep when I wrote that.

    • @Tomattoism
      @Tomattoism 8 місяців тому

      @@Protanly thanks for the clarification

  • @X-SPONGED
    @X-SPONGED 8 місяців тому +455

    Great Shield of Piercing
    -pierces through your enemies
    -pierces through your enemies' equipment
    -pierces through your own hand
    -pierces through anything when given the slightest amount of force (it's falling to the center of the earth as we speak)
    Retail Value: 20 assorted korh'lor fruits
    WSN Value: One Rupee

  • @CarmeloPiccione
    @CarmeloPiccione 8 місяців тому +1030

    Love the on-going gag of Horno accidentally (or stupidly on purpose) trying out the magic items, especially the ones that foreshadow tragic but comedic outcomes.

    • @razortongue9000
      @razortongue9000 7 місяців тому +32

      The amnesia potion and the delayed sneeze was great 😆

  • @theaveragebluejay
    @theaveragebluejay 8 місяців тому +328

    The immediate checking for the boomerang of suspenseful return and the second check shortly after absolutely sent me.

  • @andrewcabrera505
    @andrewcabrera505 8 місяців тому +260

    The scabbard had me feeling genuine pain

    • @LoyaltotheNightsky
      @LoyaltotheNightsky 8 місяців тому +8

      I was very hurt

    • @velfaern1716
      @velfaern1716 2 місяці тому +9

      I definitely took some kind of damage I’m just unsure what kind still or where

  • @Zman14888
    @Zman14888 8 місяців тому +177

    The Boomerang of Suspensful Return is such a brilliant idea that I absolutely have to steal it for my campaign.

    • @nugget3687
      @nugget3687 3 місяці тому +14

      Wait until they forget about it in a few sessions and have it come back during the worst possible moment in combat

    • @negative6442
      @negative6442 2 місяці тому +4

      The boomerang returns 1d3 sessions later when you least expect it, automatically crits the person who threw it

    • @adamb5811
      @adamb5811 Місяць тому +1

      I plan on having it break through a window and knock down a lot of glass furniture during a stealth mission xD

  • @MidlifeCrisisJoe
    @MidlifeCrisisJoe 8 місяців тому +362

    This is the best sketch series for anyone who’s ever had a regular tabletop group and wondered what happens to all the random magic items you’ve picked up over the years and sold off to fund your barony or whatever. I have to imagine that’s how Horno generally comes by his stock. Well that, or dead adventurer estate sales.

  • @yao99
    @yao99 8 місяців тому +421

    This might be my new favorite series of sketches

    • @digitalzomb
      @digitalzomb 8 місяців тому +5

      It's truly an endless series of creative hilarity

    • @THEFRISKIESTDINGO
      @THEFRISKIESTDINGO 3 місяці тому +1

      Indeed I hope they keep these coming they’ve got such great joke density

  • @zerodark3505
    @zerodark3505 8 місяців тому +120

    Notice how he rubs the potion of delayed sneezing on his hands at 0:05

  • @biasedactions
    @biasedactions 8 місяців тому +614

    I'm loving the return of some of my absolute favorite sketches from the Wizards! Thank you for returning to some classic characters while still keeping that Wizards charm.

    • @joaquinillo_
      @joaquinillo_ 8 місяців тому +1

      wait there's more of these?

    • @bungusbongus
      @bungusbongus 7 місяців тому

      ​@@joaquinillo_yea there's a playlist linked at the end of the video

  • @thatrandomweeb7804
    @thatrandomweeb7804 8 місяців тому +157

    The scabbard of fine dining would actually make a great defensive tool. Assuming you have the agility and dexterity to utilize it properly.

    • @stephenbachman132
      @stephenbachman132 7 місяців тому +14

      Stop right there criminal scum.
      "What..... A fork?..... What have you done in the name of Skyrim"... What do you mean that makes no sense, whats in the name of Earth sounds ridiculous."

    • @burgerkingas7027
      @burgerkingas7027 Місяць тому

      Reverse pickpocket BiS

  • @dementodoc
    @dementodoc 8 місяців тому +152

    IMMEDIATE grin on my face when I saw the thumbnail, this is like my favorite series you guys have made. I've made "The New Orc Times" an actual company in my 5E world because you all, and the magic items are always fun to implement if I feel like bullying my party. The boomerang of suspenseful return will definitely be making its way into my campaign soon.

  • @yureiotakughost9464
    @yureiotakughost9464 8 місяців тому +43

    the fact he continues with the gnome racism right AFTER putting the feather down lmao

  • @lint3506
    @lint3506 8 місяців тому +71

    I love the completely unnecessary detail of him just putting down the potion of delayed sneezing as the video starts

  • @ICircuit64
    @ICircuit64 8 місяців тому +119

    Yes! I thought Horno wouldn't return but my assumption had no foundation after all. As a fantasy enjoyer, i absolutely adore this series. Thank you, Wizards, for your brilliant comedy!

  • @atticusdodd6814
    @atticusdodd6814 8 місяців тому +45

    He definitely sells snake oil to make any of your pets 10% longer.

  • @WhyAnkylobotsWillChangeWarfare
    @WhyAnkylobotsWillChangeWarfare 8 місяців тому +12

    4:23 As a mythology nerd, i love the reference to Lethe, the river of...
    F#%#!, I forgot...
    At least, I have this nice bottle with a blue elixir inside

  • @erikm8373
    @erikm8373 8 місяців тому +28

    I threw one of those suspensful boomerangs once. Still living in fear.

  • @LethalDose161
    @LethalDose161 8 місяців тому +85

    Level 3 staff would honestly be interesting for non magic or low magic casters. ANY level 3 spells can be used while using the staff.

    • @xaius4348
      @xaius4348 8 місяців тому +22

      If it can cast ANY level 3, its gotta be able to cast at least one or two level 4 spells, right?

    • @crispymax
      @crispymax 8 місяців тому

      @@xaius4348no.

    • @baron_bokchoy167
      @baron_bokchoy167 7 місяців тому +3

      *fireball intensifies*

    • @erueka6
      @erueka6 7 місяців тому +2

      So could you cheat and use level it to get level two magic as a scrub or non caster interesting.

    • @dynad00d15
      @dynad00d15 3 місяці тому +1

      Wait.. Fireball is a level 3 spell, isnt it?

  • @kheranzu2000
    @kheranzu2000 8 місяців тому +68

    I am filled with childlike whimsy at the notion of this becoming a long-running series.
    And by the way I love that there's some actual mythology in here with the potion of amnesia being from the river Lethe.

    • @lerikhkl
      @lerikhkl 7 місяців тому +6

      I also love that the delayed sneezing potion contains gesuntite ore

  • @ThePyrosirys
    @ThePyrosirys 3 місяці тому +16

    I really hope horno's is a permanent installment on this channel. I gotta see this guy at least once a year.

  • @Brainatrain
    @Brainatrain 8 місяців тому +14

    i'll have this playing on a crystal ball in the tavern, thanks for the deals, guys!

  • @jackskudlarek3138
    @jackskudlarek3138 8 місяців тому +42

    I hope you guys never stop making these videos. There's just SO MANY good dnd ideas in here. If I ever get a group together I'm 100% making this salesman a character. The players will have enough for a singular low end actual magic item, or they can stop by the park for the crazy wizard and his cart.

    • @thepolarphantasm2319
      @thepolarphantasm2319 8 місяців тому

      I have had the idea for a while to use an AI of Dennis Prager's voice as "Denny Prager, Conservative DM"
      It should have Morrowind amounts of racism in it but actual real world racism used in even dumber ways than any elder scrolls game could hope to*! And lots of weird diatribes about non-racist things as well, but yeah
      Idk why Prager feels like the guy for this role in my head but he gives me worst case scenario Zordon from power rangers vibes and I gotta use em lol
      (* - This is not a challenge or a dare or anything, Todd... if you're reading this, please don't feel a need to display the true power of Bethesda Game Studios)

  • @TheCraftedCreepers95
    @TheCraftedCreepers95 8 місяців тому +4

    please never stop making these

  • @TreyC68
    @TreyC68 8 місяців тому +45

    Disclaimer:Horno is not responsible for any injuries caused by cursed items

    • @HansLemurson
      @HansLemurson 8 місяців тому +3

      Or curses caused by injured items!

  • @ouch-uq9pw
    @ouch-uq9pw 8 місяців тому +40

    Though the sword has been turned into a spork
    It is still the same material therefore the exorcising effects should still work, its just in a weird shape:)

    • @SolaceBreadAlwaysleepy
      @SolaceBreadAlwaysleepy 8 місяців тому +13

      Couldn't hurt to give it a try. It's just 0.89 after all. 😚

    • @leizero
      @leizero 8 місяців тому

      Maybe, but I doubt any swordsman would use it in battle.

    • @SolaceBreadAlwaysleepy
      @SolaceBreadAlwaysleepy 8 місяців тому +12

      @@leizero I'm not a swordsman, so I'll do it. It grants immunity to fear anyways. - What could go wrong?

    • @no1important777
      @no1important777 7 місяців тому +5

      Eat the ghosts they’re 0 calories

  • @classica1fungus
    @classica1fungus 8 місяців тому +12

    This is fucking BRILLIANT, probably my fav series by you guys
    Edit: the potion of amnesia had me rolling

  • @PlayerN101
    @PlayerN101 8 місяців тому +12

    The Boomerang of Suspenseful Return. What a classic.
    Don't throw it.

  • @common-peasant
    @common-peasant 7 місяців тому +8

    @3:10 this boomerang starting to give me anxiety with its suspense.

  • @branzinofish3641
    @branzinofish3641 8 місяців тому +14

    Boomerang of suspenseful return was a master wizard level bit

  • @bens1cultist405
    @bens1cultist405 8 місяців тому +15

    He continues to look more like a vampire

  • @nechologan1065
    @nechologan1065 8 місяців тому +12

    need the 24/7 live stream of this

  • @NixNack
    @NixNack 8 місяців тому +10

    Holy magic buttholes I love this series

  • @chrisj3938
    @chrisj3938 8 місяців тому +24

    man you guys keep revisiting your greatest hits and i'm here for it

  • @StanSays
    @StanSays 8 місяців тому +8

    The sneeze bit was priceless!

  • @onetrickgirl
    @onetrickgirl 8 місяців тому +47

    Whenever I go to my grandparents house, they are always watching this. I just hope they don't buy anything from it. These all look like scam magic items

  • @zerodark3505
    @zerodark3505 8 місяців тому +14

    Horno’s Magic Item Hole brightens my day

  • @Biospark286
    @Biospark286 8 місяців тому +6

    Bro. I could watch Horno's Hole 24/7

  • @borgyborg9399
    @borgyborg9399 8 місяців тому +9

    that potion of delayed sneezing was so good 😭

  • @jazeenharal6013
    @jazeenharal6013 8 місяців тому +6

    These are my absolute favorite skits.
    Love you goofy bastards 😂

  • @shawnferguson5681
    @shawnferguson5681 7 місяців тому +5

    Of all the esoteric items featured, the one I find most mysterious was what appeared to be a grimoire or magical tome titled “Joey” that was tapped about 2:36. It must have some amnestic properties because I don’t remember any character like that in any show about companions ever. Good show!

  • @knightofiron
    @knightofiron 8 місяців тому +5

    Wait, it's illegal in the territories of Skeent, that's one of the places they were talking about on the Blo Gogurt show.

  • @microaggressions
    @microaggressions 8 місяців тому +3

    This is literally the only thing that I would watch all day and all night long

  • @LSparkzwz
    @LSparkzwz 8 місяців тому +7

    Man I love the worldbuilding for these sketches, they're my favorite

  • @gwynjustice6664
    @gwynjustice6664 7 місяців тому +3

    Jokes on you I need that potion, I have a cursed ring of growth I can’t take off.

  • @HEYimHeroic
    @HEYimHeroic 8 місяців тому +3

    yes!!!! i've been looking forward to a followup of this series!!! :D

  • @soundrogue4472
    @soundrogue4472 5 місяців тому +4

    4:09 that item would be useful for turning damaged/ useless blades into fine dining items so a rusty sword? Boom! Fine dining!

  • @MemekingJag
    @MemekingJag 8 місяців тому +9

    I would call that Chekov's Boomerang, except the real Chekov's Boomerang was destroyed in the Age of Doubt and Queasiness.

    • @zacharyrollick6169
      @zacharyrollick6169 7 місяців тому +1

      But wouldn't that make its return all the more unexpected.

    • @MemekingJag
      @MemekingJag 7 місяців тому +3

      @@zacharyrollick6169 the prophecies say it will only return when it has the greatest dramatic effect, and will usher in a new trilogy of blockbuster hits.

  • @pixels_and_plants
    @pixels_and_plants 8 місяців тому +12

    Nothing can beat a WWG skit. 😎

  • @crustfirstfilms
    @crustfirstfilms 8 місяців тому +7

    YOOOO Wizards! I just wanna say how much you inspire and make me and my friends laugh. Never Stop Making

  • @jkennard10
    @jkennard10 8 місяців тому +6

    I honestly hoped the skull would return.

  • @TheFoxStalksHisPrey
    @TheFoxStalksHisPrey 8 місяців тому +3

    This is my favorite returning skit by far.

  • @dumbLIKEaMOOSEz
    @dumbLIKEaMOOSEz 8 місяців тому +14

    Dude, I like most of your videos, but this series is by far my favorite. Such a great and original idea; keep them coming!

  • @SolaceBreadAlwaysleepy
    @SolaceBreadAlwaysleepy 8 місяців тому +8

    Horno's Hole always gets a few laughs out of me. 😂

  • @tygerinthenight3255
    @tygerinthenight3255 8 місяців тому +3

    Now, I want a clock that tells me its the most random times.

  • @bladekick6405
    @bladekick6405 8 місяців тому +4

    Never dissapoints. Awesome real laughs. Thanks guys

  • @Scarfy101
    @Scarfy101 8 місяців тому +9

    so glad he started for people who were just tuning in (i was unable to make it to the beginning of the broadcast this saturday at 9:00AM EST due to an unforgettable luncheon)
    also i love these products and how they make fun of actual rpg pro/con magic items, the boomerang of suspenseful return was bloody hilarious
    oh my god i love how the pumpkin only started working once he touched it, not only that but how every single joke stacks upon itself to multiply the boomerang. you guys are still some of the best comedic writers i've ever seen on youtube, i hope one day you can get your own show or something, this is fantastic.

  • @michyoung77
    @michyoung77 8 місяців тому +5

    I was REALLY hoping for another installment of this series.

  • @loragex
    @loragex 8 місяців тому +6

    Horno's Hole sketches are my absolute favorite. I love seeing people talk nonchalantly about magic items and their insane level of danger.

  • @BasilBrainstrom
    @BasilBrainstrom 8 місяців тому +4

    This is the best character on the entire channel.

  • @HesGotaGun505
    @HesGotaGun505 8 місяців тому +13

    I love these sketches and I could watch countless more like it.

  • @ShockedTaiLung
    @ShockedTaiLung 8 місяців тому +7

    This is so creative would love to incorporate something similar in a D&D campaign

  • @zomi3676
    @zomi3676 8 місяців тому +3

    "ITS MY BIRTHDAY AND IVE BEEN CUT :(" - Horno

  • @danterodriguez03
    @danterodriguez03 8 місяців тому +3

    Horno's magic item hole has to be one of my favorite series

  • @reidparker-hicks349
    @reidparker-hicks349 8 місяців тому +3

    I want more of these but specifically with the time jack-o-lantern

  • @thescatologistcopromancer3936
    @thescatologistcopromancer3936 2 місяці тому +2

    I felt that peek coming after the first "moving on" and it still killed me. Perfect

  • @Naija_Ninja
    @Naija_Ninja 4 місяці тому +2

    The subversion of expectations at the draught of amnesia segment was gold 10/10

  • @cyborgbob1017
    @cyborgbob1017 8 місяців тому +10

    I knew that boomerang was setup from the beginning yet it returned at the perfect time and it was still a complete surprise! Well done guys!

  • @sweepea38
    @sweepea38 8 місяців тому +8

    Excuse me, these are all the most useful items in my inventory.

  • @user-ff2kc4yb7c
    @user-ff2kc4yb7c 8 місяців тому +2

    Hornos Hole by far the best skit series in UA-cam history

  • @cabbage2329
    @cabbage2329 8 місяців тому +8

    YES!!! I've been wanting more of this series! I'm so glad to see it's back! Keep up the great work, you guys!

  • @winterexplores
    @winterexplores 8 місяців тому +4

    I honestly want to play dnd in your world. It’s so colorful.

  • @Milkex
    @Milkex 8 місяців тому +5

    This has to be one of my favorite recurring sketches! Amazing how y'all come up with such funny shit every single time

  • @briancook4862
    @briancook4862 8 місяців тому +2

    Joint went nicely with this video, could not stop laughing, great job!

  • @ezekielkoontz5267
    @ezekielkoontz5267 8 місяців тому +3

    I'm definitely going to try and introduce the Boomerang of Suspenseful Return in my games.

  • @stabngab
    @stabngab 8 місяців тому +15

    I sincerely hope this series never ends, you guys are so hilarious 💜🧙‍♂🔫

  • @cheapshotfishing9239
    @cheapshotfishing9239 8 місяців тому +4

    Michael looks to be enjoying his special cocktail in this one

  • @FrizzlenillCAN
    @FrizzlenillCAN 8 місяців тому +2

    So glad to see this series come back

  • @LegDayLas
    @LegDayLas 8 місяців тому +3

    Allot of these would be VERY useful in a D& D game with some creative players.

  • @DanielLCarrier
    @DanielLCarrier 8 місяців тому +4

    That scabbard sounds really useful for getting rid of cursed swords.

  • @xenobis7534
    @xenobis7534 8 місяців тому +10

    Yes, another Horno's Magic Item Hole! I love these. They're such a nice mix of skit and just coming up with weird stuff.

  • @ThatSkiFreak
    @ThatSkiFreak 5 місяців тому +2

    Boomerang of suspenseful return was such a good idea

  • @iericlopez8354
    @iericlopez8354 8 місяців тому +3

    YEEEEESSS BEEN WAITING FOR MORE OF HORNOS HOLE!!

  • @Mockthenerd
    @Mockthenerd 8 місяців тому +4

    The quality of these are amazing.

  • @MrRasta3600
    @MrRasta3600 8 місяців тому +3

    The boomerang gag had me in stitches.😂

  • @justincarter8575
    @justincarter8575 7 місяців тому +2

    This needs to be a series 🙏 plus him pointing to the Joey DVD and saying "that's rare" was awesome 😂

  • @VitroVine
    @VitroVine 7 місяців тому +3

    Nice detail that he lets go of the pen before saying "a dirty gnome". Makes sense why so many of his items are made from gnomeskin

  • @johndwolynetz6495
    @johndwolynetz6495 7 місяців тому +3

    fun fact, the pumkin says 4:30 once, at at 4 minutes and 30 seconds, he pauses and sneezes.

  • @joebrownstone6746
    @joebrownstone6746 8 місяців тому +4

    I love this series!

  • @mindeyez314
    @mindeyez314 8 місяців тому +3

    We need the most honarable wizards content

  • @scarr009
    @scarr009 8 місяців тому +3

    That outtake was too much 😂

  • @ayochill9716
    @ayochill9716 8 місяців тому +4

    I love Hornos Hole 😂 This is one of my favorite types of videos you guys make 👏

  • @JacqBennett-gm4cu
    @JacqBennett-gm4cu 8 місяців тому +4

    Love to see the the return of the superb series in such short time! ❤

  • @50stressballs58
    @50stressballs58 3 місяці тому +1

    5:29 “tip of that JUUUST got me Odel”

  • @PeterLedergerber
    @PeterLedergerber 8 місяців тому +3

    For real, i would unironically watch this if this would be a real teleshopping channel on TV. This shit is amazing.