The Worst Joke I've Told On Stage | HAIYAA #25
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- Опубліковано 15 тра 2024
- Nigel and Producer Matt are back! Kinda... Nigel is in Australia and Matt is in London but thanks to the power of the internet they are able to catch up about Nigel's recent threesome and the worst joke Nigel has ever told on stage.
0:00 - Producer Matt has been running errands fo Nigel while he's away
8:10 - Getting free tickets for Nigel's mom has been the hardest he has ever worked
15:30 - Nigel has been asked to do a press conference in Malaysia
21:58 - Nigel had his first threesome
28:28 - Research on golddiggers and why celebrities go broke
33:50 - The worst joke Nigel has told on stage
Go see Nigel on tour: nigelngcomedy.com/#shows
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I can see it now: Nigel retiring in Australia, buying birdseed, getting fertiliser for the garden and detesting any kind of noise but that’ll be solved when his young neighbours bribe him with wine.
I agree with Matt. As I'm getting older, I have less and less tolerance for everything...baby's crying, toddlers screaming in joy while playing, queues, exaggerated verbal expressions (i.e. when someone says 'That is BEAAUUUUUtiful' over a cheese toastie...), cold weather, crowds, in general, people...haha. But I think the noise thing gets to me more and more because I spend a lot of time walking around with noise-cancelling headphones on so whenever I take them off and I hear other noises, it's like a sensory overload for a few second and I just get annoyed haha.
I appreciate Nigel’s effort to decorate the plain hotel room with a huge bag of MSG. (And the editor casually covers a half of it with Matt.)
Matt: every time I thought "this must be the worst thing Nigel says" and he said something crazier.
The whole bit about Nigel’s Extended Family is so on point and relatable because of all the designated names for family members and their nicknames which leave you clueless about their formal names and then you can’t understand the formal name because you’ve never come across it.
relatable to all asians
So relatable! Not only do we use kinship names, but we also have a shitload of relatives.
I get that from my mum sometimes. And I'm Asian too.
The entire community of people I live around are extremely non-trusting _(paranoid),_ spectacularly suspicious, and supremely superstitious. I learned from my Mom that is because many of them practice witchcraft. That knowledge helped me to understand why most people here refuse to identify themselves using their full name. No one wants to be singled out, blamed, or be _'hoo-doed'._ Usually, they go by nicknames. That doesn't help to identify them at all. Most nicknames are shared between multiple people. So, I don't know many people by name. Many I may have heard of in passing, yet never been introduced to in person.
"This guy took care of you when you were a kid" every south Asian/east Asian mom 😂
I just got my ticket to see you in Atlanta and I CAN NOT WAIT! Thank you SO SO much for adding shows in the states, and for coming down south. We seem to be forgotten about down here so often by performers (especially here in NC). 💜
I can’t agree more about mom likes to give details in her conversation even if you don’t really have to know or interested. Just tell the points mom please!!😂
I just bought the tickets for Taiwan! So excited to see you! Love your stuff! So proud of you. I watched you as a UA-camr and wow now in a big venue!
I'm glad you did make the getting tickets story into stage material. Auckland show was amazing!!
yoooooooo you're in my city right now! Love your work dude!
I think you can add shows in your hometown Malaysia, we need more HAIYAA!!!
I bought Japan tour ticket and can't wait to see Nigel in Tokyo! Also I'm looking forward to listen haiyaa podcast interviewing the guest in Japan😊
Welcome back to Malaysia!!
So excited for Bangkok show!
You are welcome not only for a second show here in Thailand but for some longer YT skits as well! Your type of crazy fits right in here 😄
Good to see Nigel "Nine Condoms" Ng still at it lmfao
already bought the ticket and look forward to seeing you here in Taiwan!!!!
Finally Matt is back!
Welcome to Bangkok! There now at least 3 tickets sold for the second show on Sunday - me a couple of my Thai friends. Safe travels guys.
Always fun watching uncle Roger 😍❤️👊🏻
I can't get out to a live show, but I'd definitely pay to watch a live feed on my big screen TV! Or hopefully you get a Netflix special.
I can't imagine "Nigel Ng's Third Auntie" on the ticket name. Haha
Fan from Hong Kong here. If there weren’t quarantine restrictions I would seriously flying to Taiwan to see you live :(
Can see Matt doing eye contact with Gemma behind the camera when he says Women.. Back tracks! 🤣
Bought the tickets in Taiwan, can't wait!
I love your podcasts they never fail to make me laugh
OMG it’s Producer Matt! So happy to see them 👏🏽
Imagine someone clips out 1:13 and get Nigel into trouble 😂
I see you with the XXL bag of MSG
Nigel’s thought on child support. It is so dark oh my god 😅😅😅
Brisbane show was so good. I’m sad I missed out on getting a tote bag. Get in early for merch people!
I pretty much agree *Nigel.* I have noticed that as I get older I tend to misinterpret children's screams of glee as screams of fear. Meanwhile, children can't tell either way.
Matt’s face is just so fed up with Nigel roasting him (Matt you need to rebel)
My tolerance for stuff is getting better i think its perspective
Pushing the woman down the stairs! Omg nigel Ng podcast is one level up. Haha
Poor Charlie from enmore theatre 🤣
too much information is a worldwide mum thing.
"your tolerance for life gets lower" someone's fishing for a sponsorship from Dignitas
I was a traveling Hotel renovation contractor for 15 years. I could tell you some stories 🤣
why is Matt so depressed?? cheer up man we love you
Can't wait to see u in boston
16:33 I think I remember him (I could be wrong) from ‘Patriot Act’ by Hasan Minhaj. That was some complicated series of events.
There should be an episode dedicated to Matt
Why I just heard of Thailand tour 😫 too late nowwww
Hey, I am from Taiwan, and already bought a ticket.
Actually, I didn't get the notice about the tour from email. I only knew that from your IG once. And ... COVID-19 has been out of control after May. Maybe it's the reason that it's not sold out ? Just want to let you know.
By the way, welcome to roasting us. LOL
Hope everything will be fine in August！
Dim sum with Uncle Roger, sounds catchy
Good luck in sg tmrw
Let’s pray that Nigel makes Fried Rice at the Press Conference.
are you going to be writing a book on your standup journey? would like to read it cheers
omo... as a person who is now binging the podcast and only 3 min in, i'm like "did nigel just turn Matt into his sss" i cant say it!☺😅🤣 he made matt do all of his stuff around his house!
I’m betraying my Asian heritage by being financially irresponsible lmao
"All the T countries"
Another apology incoming. :D
Need a spreadsheet.
what a good joke
haiyaaaaa 😳
Haiyaa maybe try Reddit reviews. Noice vid
I miss you both on the podcast 😂😂
Matt's voice sounds so similar to Stewie from Family Guy
🔥💯💯💯🔥🔥
Seems uncle roger is a better/nicer person as supposed to Nigel
Love uncle roger tho!
Haha at 23:10 Uncle Roger came out
Nigel, weird question but, do you still remember the password to Rice to Meet You
hi nephew Ng. Now you know how Uncle Roger feels in his age. :)
They compare you to the Emperor of her whole universe?
Please add a show in Mumbai🏁uncle Roger!
When will Uncle Roger come to Hong Kong? Been waiting for ages but it has been cancelled
I'm old, and I listen to K-pop that the walls shake, but sh*t annoys me. Ergo, our ears become not more sensitive towards noise in general, but more selective about the type of "noise".
Wine is overrated. Expensive, intoxicating and usually tastes like a fancy type of vinegar. Beer on the other hand YUM🍻😆
Btw, did you come to Perth??
Please come to Hong Kong!!! we need some fun banter here! and let us treat you with our HK hospitality.
❤
OooOhhh i wonder if nigel is interviewing pewdie pie!!
maybe TheStar will compare you to Ronnie Cheng instead.... lol
😂😂 I'm old and also buy birdseed
Hey Nigel will you try to get Isaac Butterfield on the podcast?
He's a really funny comedian and i think it would be really cool to see both of you guys together
Nigel saying what most men want to say about a pregnating a chic 😂😂
Asian Boomers composing messages hit different. The worst part is hypothesising that I will become that lol
Nigel in his ‘Khitkhite Buro’ (Cantakerous Senior Citizen in Bengali) Era. 😂
As an Asian from Russia, I invite you to spend in Russia at least a day, it'll give you so many levels of discomfort, you'll have material for a year or so. ))
“Birdseed is Old People Bitcoin.” is a T-Shirt.
Don’t they not allow travel out of china?
I just had a 5 minute spot last month so I cannot even fathom dealing with 1200 tickets in 12 days 🔥
Out of Context Nigel Ng: “…swinging teaches you, good, like, Life Admin skills.”
See you in Taiwan~🇹🇼
Nigel says nothing happens in Australia but then talks about his elderly neighbors buying birdseed.....😴😴😴 Whatever rocks your boat but there's definitely more interesting things happening in Australia than old people buying birdseed. You just needed to go out & explore more.
Bro upload to Google podcasts pls
Happy in the knowledge that Nigel is a beautiful personality who makes a School Shooting Joke (still shook by it) and recognises Taiwan as a country. Get someone who does both.
@Sundotdog I was being ironic lol but thank you for your comment.
#Darksidematt
I love you Nigel, but if you want to get married and have children maybe you shouldn’t be bragging about your sexual escapades to the world 😂
I mean, I assumed you’d be a gentleman and respectful so no ‘coming at you’ (wrong choice of words) with feminism.
I was interested is seeing you play Taibei (well, Xin Bei, so...downscale) then I looked at your portal, ugh, Live Nation, A#1 jack you for half your ticket sales venue monopoly AF, then saw you want $2400 NTD for a seat, which is what promoters charge for entire weekend festivals here, so...pass.
Producer.back yeah baby
Why does Matt look like that
Did he just say "Taiwan" & "all the T countries" in the same sentence... Need to be careful there Nigel. I have no issues with it, but others might
A
22:56 Again, let’s not divide everything into binaries (especially not during Pride Month) but I’m a Savarna Cisgay Man who likes horoscopes. A lot of cis-het men are into Astrology and they’re very good at either hiding it or downplaying it.
P.S. Why be presumptive and not bring up sports while talking to a woman? Atleast test the waters.
I mean, you also have to take into account that Queer AFAB (Assigned Female at Birth) Persons have had a history of being disappointed by cis-het men so no surprises that they were attracted to each other.
P.S. ‘Non-Straight’ Sex will always be different from ‘Straight’ Sex.