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The Black Girl Who Only Gets White Guys| Analysing TikTok "White Boy Test" Ft Colorism, Acting White
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- Опубліковано 18 сер 2024
- a deep dive on the TikTok " White Boy Test", breaking down the sociology of being "the black girl who only gets white guys".
#tiktokvideo #blacktiktok #socialcommentary
✨ MORE FROM THE WHITEWASHED WEB SERIES ✨
Ep. 1 The Awkward Black Boy Trope
• The Quirky / Awkward B...
Ep. 2 Acting White: The Myth of the Sell-out
• Acting White: The Oreo...
Ep. 4 Acting White: Self-espression in the Black community?
• Acting White: Self-esp...
playlists ✨
more social commentary 👥
• Social Commentary Vide...
tv & film analysis
• TV and Film Commentary...
socials + contact ✨
enquiries: townoftawiah@gmail.com
instagram: / townoftawiah
tiktok: / townoftawiah
playlists ✨
more social commentary 👥
• Social Commentary Vide...
tv & film analysis 📺
• TV and Film Commentary...
time stamps ✨
00:00 intro
1:07 overview
5:19 colourism
8:18 acting white
12:10 lipglossss 👑
16:28 my experiences!
socials + contact ✨
enquiries: townoftawiah@gmail.com
instagram: / townoftawiah
tiktok: / townoftawiah
![Black Women think they are SUPERIOR to Black Men: The Table [preview]](/img/n.gif)
hey! I'm akua daniella💞 thanks for watching! looking forward to responding to your comments. Tell me about your thoughts and experiences on this topic!
Blk Women will be able to speak about their issues with Blk Men the minute Blk Women stop shaming Blk Men for speaking about their issues with Blk Women 🤷♂. You get what you give, stop expecting to only say your side not hear what Blk Women need to do better as women for Blk Men., simple as that.
@@thegift369are you a black man?
Are u Ghanaian 😍😍😍
@@thegift369 The “issues” you speak out about is literally just shaming bw, not even trying to solve or fix the problem. But y’all scream about taking accountability
@@stunnawhirl And mindsets like yours are exactly why this conversation between Blk men and Blk women is getting nowhere. Your need to invalidate the experiences of one side just to validate your own.
We also need to stop assuming that any black woman in an interracial relationship is being fetishized
Most are
No, we don't They do the same thing for black men and it's a hard truth that most black women don't want to hear
No fr😂 like is it not possible for a white or non-black man to simply be attracted to a black woman ? Very weird
@@rasulsamad5860. No and no. Otherwise those relationships wouldn’t last. Rarely will you hear of the women being used for ‘it’ by those men. That’s not even a thing. Try again. 😴
@gailainsley6939 you want a white guy but not attractive enough to get one of means lol
"Black people are not a monolith."
Also people:
"How dare you not be a black stereotype!!", like which is it? 💀
i was called white washed bcuz i don't understand some aave words or "black" slang mind you i'm african and english is not my first language 💀
tbh what i think a lot of people are missing is that the people who are shouting black people are not a monolith are definitely NOT the ones that are upholding stereotypes... people keep saying "the black community this... the black community that..." in the comments as if we are a monolith tho. Meanwhile the black people I'm surrounded by are not the ones saying this kind of BS.
@@inseungwoonamewestan1196 I'm sorry that happened to you. There are definitely black Americans that also don't understand aave who were born and raised there for various reasons. There are even regional differences in aave so not every AA would no every variation. I think there are some African Americans who can't fathom that another AA might not know something related to AA culture but it's honestly understandable when you consider how they have be segregated and pushed into a corner and survived by being more collectivist than individualistic. Which I really notice now that I live in a very collectivist Asian country. They think that everyone here is automatically the same and should/must know something and actually do expect people from the diaspora to know things despite growing up in another country and not speaking the language. It's still ignorant af though lol. Hopefully those people learned not to make those kind of assumptions again.
I don't think black people are a monolith and I think we should all express ourselves the way we want but I think some of the stereotypes created are due to black people having to act a certain way for so long that a lot of us are simply used to seeing black people in that light. Black people now more than ever are pushing boundaries and doing things that we used to not have access to and with that comes different mannerisms, ways of carrying yourself, styles of music, styles of dress, etc. For so long many things only belonged to white people so when black people start entering spaces that have for so long been white we start to see more black people take on attributes that were deemed "white" but they're really just human.
i literally remember when i got called white washed for being hyper feminine and wanting good grades 🌚
I just date people who ask me out. Whether are black or not.
Good for you!
Same race doesn't matter to me if I like you I like you
Exactly. Sometimes it's as simple as this - especially for women who, traditionally, do NOT have the luxury of being able to approach men they're interested in to date. I'd never ask a guy out, sorry.
@LisaF777 sameee I can't even if I like him really bad
same i’m attracted to any guy as long as they got a good personality and meet my standards 😂
I thought "if it aint snowin i aint goin" was about COCAINE😭😭😭😭😭
Hahahahahahahah that’s hilarious.. but also still applicable for some LOL
Lmfaooo😅😅😅
Oh, oh lord😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
Lord have mercy 🤦🏾♀️😭😭
Why can't we as black women just be ourselves without being called "too white" or "acting white"? Why do we have to conform to a stereotype? If I wanna tuck my hair behind my ears and wear a middle part then leave me alone and let me be me. We as a community are so toxic.
ive became anti-black tbh, im fine in a white world..with my hot white man
They notice if you are used to being treated respectfully. So they assume you date white
A guy once told me that he can tell if a chick dates black guys or not by if she is angry all the time or not 😅
This is so wild but sadly true for some. Literally last person who said it to me, (who was yt) when I pressed him to elaborate because I was annoyed, he said “I just mean I can tell you don’t go for players”!
That tells you a lot about what some women go through dating black guys. It’s toxic af.
@@TownofTawiah players=black guys 😅 well, that's the reputation they made for themselves
@@ladybug3380 yep.
@@vanessarichardson110Okay, no. Men are men and are loyal to themselves. There are dogs in every color!!!
The REAL issue here is that people dont want us to feel appreciated for who we are, were "supposed" to be alone and nobody is suposed to like us
This is the winning comment right here! It's passive aggressive negging at us for possibly being desired elsewhere. Some honorable mentions are "They're only attracted to you sexually" and the usage of "bedwench".
They hate to see bw happy with anyone who isn't THEM.😂
@@tessy28 They don't even want us
I was 19 and my 26yr old BM supervisor liked me but I was kind of seeing my now husband who is white. He punished me for no reason would embarrass me in front of other ppl all because he didn’t have access to me. A year later after I moved away he emailed my husband and asked if he was still with me. It was crazy.
@@TamTam9-15hope you’re doing better now!☺️
My mom always said to people about “good hair” comments, “what is ‘good hair’ cause my hair hasn’t done anything bad to me.” I know what people assume about texture and it can be so ignorant. So glad I grew up in an environment that cultivated self-acceptance!
My hair is currently misbehaving and acting like it can't grow uniform for some strange reason... but will I cut? 😩
@@tinyiko2311loc it. That what I did when I was tired of doing it. I only “do” my hair once a month.
@@Vortxe99 that's a good idea I shall try locks again, I remember the first time I tried my hair refused to lock but with the products and hairstylists of today that shouldn't be a hard find.
I love your mom
I can store pens and pencils in it -- very good indeed!
This is such an interesting topic. I am a black Alt. Girl who also practices yoga even though the boho aesthetic is not my style.
A black girl in my yoga class walks up to me and says: “you only date white guys, huh?” I told her my boyfriend is black. She then ask: “Is he light skin?” 😮
Her curiosity transitioned into her being passive aggressively calling me an Oreo. I’ve heard the same thing from black men. The black community needs to decolonize their minds before they decolonize the world.
F her fr fr. She sounds weird af
Hilarious. I prefer dark skinned black men and also like men of various ethnicities in the African diaspora. People assume they can know everything by looks and black men are not all the same. What she likes or doesn’t, won’t determine your desirability
@@justpagellc7361yes exactly. My boyfriend is from Ghana and is of darker complexion. I attend a festival in New York called AfroPunk fest. It’s so refreshing to see black people from all walks of life for a weekend. There I feel free and not categorize as ‘Other’. There we can tuck our braids behind our ears and *nobody* bats an eye. 😊
I totally relate to this but my fiance is white
huh? is she an idiot?
Lipglossss is legitimately one of the greatest thinkers/speakers of our gen, and I hope she can return with community and care at the forefront. Like you said, her impact is so felt, she was the jumping point for a lot of girls, esp dark skin girls to finally speak out on
I miss her but totally understand why she bounced for now
A literal icon.
She's studying at the moment, but I agree, I really hope she comes back. She really opened the internet to conversations that are always skated around, but so cleverly in such brief videos. Loved her videos, especially the ones on colourism.
Miss her 😞
Yesss ugh the way she talked blew my mind she’s so intelligent miss her sm
i feel so bad for the ones who didn’t get to know lipglossss before she dipped. she was truly the best.
It's really great to see black women thriving in the video essayist community on UA-cam and to see the support for the valuable content/discussions they introduce to wider circles. I'm really excited to see more of your content!
I agree! It was literally a black video essayist that shared my content and helped me grow and get monetised! I'm really grateful for the current community of black video essayists, the future of such content is looking really bright :) & Thank you, that means a lot xxx Hope you can subscribe so we can talk again in the comments 💞
Effortlessly natural is what attracts white men and of course our culture is gonna make us feel like “trash” for being appreciated
Do not allow others to define you. If bm insist on hating us, not learning how to be men, you must go where you are treated best, but choose wisely.
@@DOREENBOGLEamen 💕
White men like black women for their strength, independence and loyalty. I’ve heard a couple of white guys say this. I follow one on UA-cam who’s been married to a black woman almost 3 decades. He admitted that he loved her natural hair
@@lmusima3275 but y’all have the lowest marriage rates 😭😭😭. Keep dreaming.
Attracts to be used as sex objects. Lol 😂
Black guys have always told me to not date them cause I was "too white" which made me a boring person. Honestly that made me go through an identity crisis cause im too black for some people and too white for the others lol. But I've moved on, those who like me like me those who dont, don't.
Plus your channel feels like a safe space.
I’m sorry you experienced that ! It’s a shame how many people relate.
That literally makes my day to here, glad it feels like a safe space, that’s the intention 🫶🏾
@annebanga5832 Grand Risin'... How u doin'?? WHAT... HUH... In my Soulja Boy voice. So your telling me some douchebags discarded your natural beautiful self with a pleasing soft voice & accent?? Naw...they definitely bloody mad, trippin', they must-have bumped their skull on a curb somewhere and gathered delusions of grandeur. I am a Giant Black Man here to let u know never to give up on BLACK LOVE.... Between a Black Man & Black Lady syncs together as One in flourishing blessed life together alright??
@@TownofTawiah 💕😢
Stop your foolishness of a black guy said black girls never liked him you'd say, oh don't make excuses you Haye your mama don't you.
!!
I’m Somali & Nigerian men & non horn of African black men have said the most anti black, horrid shit I’ve heard in hopes of them trying to uplift me. I’m sorry but they genuinely disgust me. Sorry you had to deal with that incident. Your 4c hair is stunning.
Thank you for sharing this! 🫶🏾It’s so important to notice where these comments come from, it’s far from a compliment and it’s just indicative of their misogynoir. We’re not sticking around for that bs❤️
Yes they do. In France they used to call darskinneb black girl mainly from West Africa derogatory name just vile. It was never the french carribean girls though.
@@TownofTawiah yup, we’re absolutely not sticking around for misogynistic self haters!!!
Same. I don't date or even converse with them. I cross the street because I'm not interested nor do I wanna hear anything they have to say.
Me too. I’m Somali and black man scares me walahi . No wonder I like white men now 😂
You get the "I can tell you date white guys" because you are softly spoken and speak well. A characteristic that in my eyes is deemed in anti-blackness. I get it all the time even one of my friends told me once she always saw with a white man when I got with my children's dad who is Nigerian.
The self hate is sooo real!! Just because you don’t subscribe to be angry and you don’t want to struggle…. Then you must want to date white guys.
@Allah_Loves_Forgives_and_SavesWhat do you mean with this comment?
I genuinely don't understand what you mean. What should she do? What has her profile picture have to do with anything she said?
@Allah_Loves_Forgives_and_Saves what?
I remember when I was in middle school there was this boy who proclaimed that he liked White girls. And I think that he hated me for having personality traits that he considered to be White. He would tell me to stop trying to be Black(I'm a dark skin BW btw with 4C hair), that I'm not truly Black I'm White on the inside, etc. He eventually asked to be my boyfriend. I know that that was 12 years ago but I will never forget that experience since he pretty much exuded the pathology that the vast majority of BM have
It’s because that usually means you grew up in the suburbs and socialized with them. It’s an obvious observation.
I got teased for tucking my hair behind my ears in the 90s i thought it was rooted in the bs thinking that bw dont/cant have hair long enough to do so
I'm sorry you experienced that! I do think a lot of it is rooted in the idea that having hair that can be played with is for white women only or women who have hair past their shoulders. It's a pretty ridiculous ideology considering that a lot of black women's hair grows upward and shrinks so our hair could be really long but its protected which is pretty precious tbh. I
t's especially ridiculous as so many black women do have long hair, and choose to wear extensions but still experience the same teasing which confirms to me that it all just boils down to misogynoir. Also, I think the shame around black women having short hair is usually texturist as hair the same length is praised as being edgy and chic on straighter hair textures.
Self hate is rife in the community. Black girls please expand your options.
That’s an oxymoron. You say self hate is an issue, but push interracial date to to continue the self hate. 😐🫤.
@@jeong-ilkajokaya3849 go away
@@jeong-ilkajokaya3849 Black men started and maintain
It so yes.
@@themonsterwithin4000 no it was self hating black mothers who started this. And let usually yall are continuing it. And yall think other groups what to date a female monkey?
@@jeong-ilkajokaya3849how is it continuing self-hate. Genuinely asking
There’s definitely this in friend groups too, I’ve noticed. Replace ‘white guys’ with ‘white friends’ and there’s a similar narrative out there.
I feel like it’s basically a sub-term for calling black woman a coon.
That's interesting, would you say this is based on your experiences? I mainly have the 'guys' comments, I think most of my friends have been POC, and I haven't had anyone challenge me on that but I can definitely see how that could be the case for some people.
@@boredasf4856 See that's how I feel when people say it. But I would also say, in my experiences for some black men, they kind of feel honoured to be 'chosen' as the one black guy that I chose suggesting he's not like the other (black) guys. So by asking they just want to confirm that they are the special one, so the question while it is a presumption about me, the response they want me to give is mainly reflective of how they will feel about themselves. This is a weird/sad one actually, because it suggests how low they view being a black man that they think my standards are higher if I date white men.
@@boredasf4856coon, bed wench, race traitor, they got all the terms for black women but not black men despite them dating out more. A lot of these girls are heavily brainwashed by black male worship culture.
I know a girl that only dates white men and only has white friends or non black people of color. I’m her only black friend and as we get older we don’t get closer…she seems more and more like she hates black ppl in general. I used to think she just didn’t like black guys but she giving “I don’t even like myself”…she’s probably the most prejudiced person I know, she’s very out of touch, and she will even try to relate crude stereotypes to me as if I’m a stranger and she doesn’t know me as an individual. I noticed this behavior started the more white friends she had… like constantly trying to separate herself from her blackness. We used to be close friends but she’s so brainwashed now 😮
i also find that the pasta and lobster trend is kinda embarrassing cus the same energy is not being reciprocated by yt men. its like fetishism and when a yt guy says he likes blk wmn its just for clout and views, i feel like we as blk wmn shouldnt announce our preferences because its the man that should be pursuing us and saying “i want a pasta and lobster boy”or “yt man” is kind of cringe and makes us seem desperate.
yes yes yes
Y'all are embarrassing at this point.No other group of women are or have been this fkn 😳
It’s giving the same energy as white girls who chase after black men. You can also add the ‘black wife effect’ as well. Like why is your white husband taking on black men aesthetics
@@InAllHerGlory its not being reciprocated cus all the passport bros would be in africa not asia. When it comes to yt men and their preferences they most def make it obvious when it comes to asian women and put them on a pedestal of notoriety, behind their own wmn or even in front. Oxford study shows most yt men prefer asian wmn and yt wmn. Asian wmn stereotypes put them up in the female heirarchy but blk wmns stereotypes put us down. the black wife effect videos are mainly created by the blk wives themselves. plus their a minority. Alot of u divestors forget how racist alot of non blk men are and they are loyal to their own wmn first. U realise yt men fetishise blk women the same as blk men, their just not loud. Stop putting non blk men on a pedestal cus imo all men aint shit. The divestor movement makes us look embarrassing and desperate.
Exactly
NEVER date someone that is insecure or experiences self hatred. FYI: dating outside your race doesn’t automatically mean you hate yourself. BUT, speaking ill on your race and putting other races overtop of your own race IS self hatred. Many issues that black men have against black women are seen in every other race of women as well. The issue that black men have with black women is that black women are black. That’s it. That’s the issue. Black women are black and the black men who hate themselves, hate blackness. So….don’t date for a particular race. Date who respects and appreciated you. Date ppl who are secure.
FINALLY! Someone gets it. Black women PLEASE stop expecting Black men to love and respect you, when they don't even love themselves. You will NEVER win and be enough to a man that has allowed society to brainwash him into hating himself. You are free to find unconditional love and respect elsewhere. I love all my Goddesses and wish you top tier love and respect!
FACTS!!!!! 🎯🎯🎯
Never considered being dark complexioned a problem.And, skin tone was irrelevant to me; some I dated could have easily passed for white or were even darker than myself.My parents instilled confidence in me and my siblings and my husband and I do likewise with our kids.Two are fair complexion like their dad and two are dark like me.I believe skin color has more to do with how one feels about themselves.
I have said this they resent that we on average have broad features and kinky hair and usually have darker skin. They are always comparing our hair to other races of women trying to make us prove we have long hair too or telling us we don't.
The hyperfocus on who black women date and (don't date) is always so intriguing to me; It's like people are constantly looking for ways to police us to fit their ideas of what we should be OR they're looking o create and enforce narratives about us - making "archetypes". I've also noticed that the determining factor for people who accuse black women of dating white men seems to always be about our outward appearance (or the way we talk), while the determining factor for black men is seemingly what they say and believe.
Can you please give an example of what black men say or believe?
@@Deadly_DUP well that would vary. Just know that when I talk about them being judged by what they say and believe, I'm talking about any direct reference to racial preference (or lack thereof) and whatever rhetoric and beliefs comes with that.
Am currently dating a white guy and when I tell you all the black men in my life are against this, like it’s crazy cause this is the only guy I’ve been public with given am a Muslim African girl. Same black guys that won’t date me have an issue with me dating someone white, let ppl live their lives, 😭
They are jealous. They believe they must control everything a bw does. Forget those people abeg!!😂 Enjoy your relationship.❤
PLEASE forget those people!! @@tessy28
They don’t want you, but they don’t want anyone else to want you either. Do you, sis! ❤
I just got a notification and came back to this, thank you both @tessy28 and @Dianamilan, I got into a big fight with my brother because of this, I really can’t understand what’s wrong with dating a different race, but I am just living, black men don’t respect or value us.
@@ajafatoubah3881I thought Muslims couldn’t date?
The new growth braids combination and all kind of me reminds me of the conversation around “hygiene olympics” that resurge on twitter every other day. Because of the carefreeness of it all, I’m assuming. Because apart from that, being a black woman in the black community is being held against almost superhuman standards. Behavioural and aesthetic-wise. Either you’re a baddie or you’re the black girl that only pulls white guys. Great discussion!!
I saw the hygiene video. It was right on the head with our obsession with these standards. I didn’t realize that I have taken part in hygiene wars before and didn’t even realize it.😱
The new growth braids criticism is just hair policing and respectability politics by anther name 🤷🏾♀️
yes ! let black girls have messy hair days
like even with the constant criticism of AD’s hair
@@cinnacinnamonrollgirl It was CONSTANT. Even scrutinizing her lashes!
Thank you for this video it was really educational.
I'm a white British guy in a relationship with an African American woman and I'm worried of falling into traps where I might unintentionally make my girlfriend feel like she should behave or be anyone other than who she is. Even though I've always been raised to be anti-racist I find that almost everything in life pushes us on this path of systemic racism, it's a long journey to deprogram those thought processes.
I try to make it clear to her that I like her for who she is and that she can call me out or ask me to stop if I'm doing anything or saying anything that might be devaluing who she is. We've been together over a year now and so far we haven't had any major issues in that regard (that she has approached me about at least) but videos like this really help me to better understand things from her perspective.
Watching vids like this, reading on experiences and doing the work to decolonise your thoughts is so important! So I’m glad it helped :)
Bro probably an incel lol 😂
@@jeong-ilkajokaya3849 "bro" is you innit?
@@BabyGirl-cw6uj ??? who are you?
@@BabyGirl-cw6uj 100% 😂
I'm not going to a lie, it used to piss me off when ppl around me would say ''you're the type to date a white dude''. I come from a small rural Kentucky town, and ever since 2nd grade I was the only black person in my class. When I tell you, I hated that so much. When i tried to make friends who were black, they thought i was whitewashed. I came to my private catholic college and we have a small black community, so obviously I got excited to see ppl like me but I got judged quickly. It was because of my hair and how I dressed so they for sure thought I was white washed.
What was wrong with your hair it wasn't done?
The thing is, they say things like that in relation to bw dating white men but black men are causing the most problems within the community. Child abandonment, robbing, aggressive behavior… should have taken it as a compliment.
@@ca678.4 "but black men are causing the most problems within the community."
thank you. very true.
I really would not have been upset if someone said that to me.....😂
You're probably whitewashed.
I date men who treat me with respect, court me, and put in time and effort.
white men most of the time
Fr. I feel like when black men try to drag black women for dating outside their race, it comes off as if they want to be able to project their self hatred onto us and treat us any type of way with no consequences. It’s always either hoteps or just prejudiced black men that are trying to police who black women date.
The only black men that have shown interest in me have literally been my father's age or older and chose to sexually harass me at work. This is crazy to me. Similarly, I've only ever seen older black men approach my mother in the same inappropriate ways. Meanwhile she gets talked up by white men in a respectful and non sexual manner. It's not only black men that are disrespectful like this but I really hope generationally younger black men do not grow up to act like them.
So glad to hear this as a mixed person who has type 4c hair my dad (asian)and mom(black) always took me to make sure i had my hair "done" which just meant straightened and sew ins (what ever they didnt have to stress themselves out with to do) and my step dad (black) always says my hair is undone when i just wear it natural and will criticize me when i wear afro textured wigs or braids, and say i need to just do my own hair and i was lazy and it made me want to be bald and just wear wigs. Also the fact that i am also alternative they criticize my music taste my style and other black men also do the same saying im into "yt ppl sh~" all the typical bs then
i got a wyt bf and he literally watched countless videos on 4c hair so he can just help me wash my hair and style it because he wanted to play with my hair and do it like i do his (he also has curly hair he would just let it fluff up and didnt know how to care for it).
That sounds like the dream
if everyone took a class on the transatlantic slave trade and the repercussions on black peoples psyche smd how things played out socially and economically we’d understand ourselves and have so much more compassion. we’d break away from the never ending desperation for nonblack acceptance and validation that allows us to navigate the world more safely. it’s so sad and depressing.
They don’t understand until they get into a heated argument and the nonblack person spits out a racial slurs. And then they see their entire mistake. Flash before their eyes
As a black man I would never date outside my race only because my great great great great grandmother , grandfather was actually slaves and my grandmother made sure all her grandchildren knew our ancestors history. And what they actually went through as slaves.
It would definitely be a dishonor to my great grandparents to date their oppressors offspring I’m sorry I just can’t do it
And I love black women too much ❤ I really don’t find white women attractive at all 😂😂
Nah, these BM were selling us far before the transatlantic slave trade. Dig deeper. It made me angry and validated my thoughts that they never liked BW at all.
Nah, they just did it to you because you chased beckster. I've dated (married 1 too) WM and non BM all my life and never had a racial infused argument with them. But everywhere I look BM are obsessed with my light skin or wanna call someone racially charged names because they're darker than you. How, sway?@@Marcusw34
@@Marcusw34 Cap.
While I agree, when will we hold each other accountable for how we treat each other? I’ve always loved black people with our black African features, it’s just in me, but the ones you love the most hurt you the most so that is why I believe some black people jump ship and date out. I am married to a black man with black children.
Good points about the ebony p0rn industry and fetishization. As a married millennial, I'll say
1. Society has conditioned everyone into misogynoir and believing that white people are the better dating option.
2. Black womens' looks are always highly scrutinized by everyone. For real White guys prefer hair like Tia and Tamera or Naomi Campbell but don't necessarily care if it's weave😂
3. Dating in an antiblack world is a minefield and I wish y'all gen z girlies luck
@ijeomafarrakhan4020 I love Black Ladies, because I am a Attractive Muscular Giant Black Man!¡!
That's what I think too. This whole idea that white men prefer natural black women more than black men do (let's pretend like other races don't exist) is false. I would say it's more that white men aren't pressed about their social standing as much whereas black men are convinced they have to date someone that looks a certain way or else they'll be looked down upon. They either want to show off that they're dating a non black woman or at least have the black woman that they're dating be commited to upkeeping extremely high maintenance beauty ideals that generally stray far from our natural appearance and look closer to another races natural appearance. White men still generally date their own race but might be more open to dating a black women but they aren't necessarily more accepting than black men. They're just more that are willing to not care about others opinions or some weird supposed social standing that comes with dating a certain type of woman. I hope this makes sense since I had some trouble thinking of how to properly articulate this.
I’m just trying to find a man with game. These young men no matter what the race have absolutely no game.
Men of all races prefer straight hair, what are you talking about?
@@55CINCO55 I’ve had man of different races. Tell me they like my natural hair.
The black community hounds their members who are
A: Dark Skinned.
B: Not following the current trend in the community.
So of course estranged black people will look for a partner outside of their own community that reject and bully them.
The same community does a 360 surprise pikachu face when it happens.
Notwithstanding simple statistics that means that you're most likely to find your partner in the majority pop, rather than in your own minority if you're not segregated.
In terms of point B, I'm literally writing a video essay on something along the lines of the equation of self expression to whiteness to expand more on that and my 'Acting White' vid. It's a good point. Internalised racism means members of the community can make things harder for us which is a shame.
@@TownofTawiahYour acting white video was great, can't wait for the follow up!
@@grandsome1 Glad you liked it, looking forward to sharing it with you!
Racial Betrayal? In 2023?
Compatible Companionship is the best relationship no matter the color.
I have heard the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice.😊
If you are only picking someone
for color is that racist? I only want to date you because you are black.😮
Once your feet hit the floor and we have nothing in common is that
really a relationship?😂
Some women don't want to get
approached by men for their own reasons.
If they choose to be unattractive to
make sure they are not approached
even accidentally let them be.
Don't drink the hater aid.
@@grandsome1 you can't act white that does not make sense please stay in school
Middle part braids always work bc I’m a big headed east african 😭
Middle part braids are so cute! Like can people just get a life and leave us alone 😂
I was about to say this! i’m a big foreheaded west african. i can’t do side parts! 😂
Someday, we will have the technology for East Africans with big foreheads to physically meld with funny-looking Germans like me with low, square foreheads, and then pull back apart, leaving both people average. 😂
I thought I always needed to wear bangs-turns out a middle part also works!
I do all of these and I married anAsian guy😅 white guys aren’t the only ones out here girlies!
But sis it's not easy pulling Asian men because of colourism in Asia but I'm so happy for you he must be a good man
@keraj7008 ???? It's very clear and obvious that white people are racist I don't need to make a comment on that also the topic was Asian men and if you watch Asian content like me you would see how much colourism the is in Asia.they literally sell bleach products honestly it's easy to marry a white man than a Asian man because not even the parents will let you marry their son and trust they will break up with you for their parents
His family don’t like you 😂
@@Dallasuptin1Xdivesteryour family dont like you shut your mouth 😂😂
@@Dallasuptin1Xdivesteras if the black family or white family, shoot none of these families like us. Screw em'.
Ive had this experience as a black man. I had a black woman tell me to my face "you look like you prefer white women" while I was sitting next to her black friend...who i was dating. Smh
Those comments are weird, and they make no sense either, when you don’t talk a certain way and take care of yourself, people automatically call you “whitewashed” or say “you look like you prefer ____” and it needs to end. Sadly, it probably won’t.
@@stunnawhirl I don't think it'll end in our lifetime. We've been open to moving past all of this racial nonsense for a short period of time. Hopefully, the future generations will move past this foolishness
@@ahmorgan Hopefully, seems like Gen z is starting to go harder on racists and colorists, and just weirdos like the woman who told you that. It’ll never end but hopefully it won’t be as common
It's terrible behaviour. Not sure why people are so robust with their assumptions
@@stunnawhirlMost people see black people as a monolith including black people. That's what's weird
I’m Nigerian-American. My dad is Nigerian while my mom is African American. African culture and black culture are two different things but nonetheless we are kind of umbrella combined because we’re black nonetheless. Terminology here is really important when describing the stereotypes that makes a white man pursue a black woman. You hit the nail right in the head with everything from anti-black to colorist men.
can you name some cultural differences?
namely, that are not related to food
@@bevs9995
While I’m college I joined “African Student Association” as an extracurricular. I was also apart of “Black Student Union”. I remember the president of BSU asking me why Africans thought they were better than black ppl. I never noticed this because I’m apart of both worlds. Africans from Africa or who have two parents from an African tribe or culture raise their kids based on colonized British Africans. African parents tend to want their kids to be engineers, doctors, PT’s etc. African parents want their kids speaking the language and kings English. Africans embellish themselves in fabulous garments and even the parents have more culture attached to them. The way the women dance and such are different from an African American back yard party. I can bet you won’t here anyone calling an African women “ghetto” because in reality they do carry themselves different. African black women tend to not care about trends per say but they do like dressing up and looking good/classy. Black women do this as well but again it’s different. When black women talk, without trying they have to restrain a certain quality or tone back. In African women we tend to have a deeper voice but proper almost naturally. I remember when I was growing up my dad would not let me use “can’t, don’t, haven’t etc. I had to say they whole word instead (I.e can not, have not, will not etc. In both cultures they want there kids to flourish but it’s just different. I noticed in black culture even growing up there’s a heavy influence on trends, sagging pants or just a relaxed Jean style or not as good of a foundation in finances. Not every person is like this of course. Typically black Americans are the type to call an African and African booty scratcher or lame for not having anything flashy on vs. an African for the tribes would probably call the typical black man lazy or disrespectful to their women or profession. A black woman may see what I’m dressed like and either look at me up and down or brush off the fact that I may be of substance. She might here me speak and think that I think im better in my tone when im simply just creating verbal dialogue. I’ve heard Americans respond to Africans as if they are trying to be “white” when usually a response like that means that we’re more proper or refined.
In the same breath I can say this about the non-popular or suburban African American black girl who didn’t grow up on the “block” but speaks and carries herself differently because of the environment they grew up in. Black Americans look down at more refined black individuals because it makes them look at themselves different like why is she acting like that.
I’ll have to think of more later. Hopefully that’s a good start
Black people who are born in America are called Black Americans, African Americans are people from Africa coming over here. 🤦🏽♀️
@@sagittariusbeauty no, they are all African Americans.
@@bevs9995 No, we’re called Black Americans. If I’m born in America and black, I’m Black American duuhh, tf.
It's real out here. When I wear my large afro, other races of men call me beautiful, and they gonout their way to talk to me. Most the black men I've been around called me nappy head or ask me why I don't get a relaxer/ perm. They tell me my hair would be long and pretty if I straighten it. Its sad. 🤦🏾♀️
All Trophy Wives are expected to be in their glamour bag regardless of skin color… that’s kind of the part that makes them a trophy, they’re always shiny!!!!!
Yes, but the work you have to do, and the judgement we receive gets much heavier the darker you are as a woman. Fact.
As a dark-skinned woman who loves dressing up, I have been called white-washed so often that it’s not even surprising that people would think I only date white guys based on how I present. Personally, I’m not crazy over White men, and I am not attracted to most Black men. I know for sure that a Black man has no advantage over a man of another race for me because I am not really a racial loyalist. That fact has gotten some eyebrows raised at me by Black men but it’s whatever. Your personality and our compatibility is most important to me. I don’t hate Black men and definitely have been physically attracted to some, but I am not attracted to most and the saturation of their melanin doesn’t have anything to do with it. I find it hard to date, but I can’t really force myself to do things just to get approval from the community. The image of Prince Charming is so vague to me because I am not attracted to any specific race like that but I don’t mention it often because I get treated like I’ve committed high treason for not being attracted to a lot of men from my race (Black) and for being open to the possibility of dating outside the race. It’s so tiring honestly.
oh my god for a sec i thought i wrote this comment... you described perfectly how I feel too, like copy and paste
@@b_l_b_r I feel so seen knowing that there are other sisters that can relate😭 I pray for the best for us💕
Can you read minds girl cuz…this was an essay on my brain 😭😭
FR@@Rockislush
Sameeee
I’ve been told I look like I date white guys. What does that even mean? I don’t discriminate 😶
Honestly, people who say those things are so far in their delusion they can’t tell left from right. I hope you continue to do as you please, take care!💕
Such a silly statement, but it means from their perspective you carry yourself differently to what they have societally expected you to look or behave like. Basically, you are outside the box of what's "normal" in their world.
I noticed that if you don’t wear wigs, lashes, you are introvert and you are more on the skinny body type people will automatically assume that. It’s ridiculous. People are always surprised to find out my boyfriend is not black because of all those stupid reasons.
@@LisaF777exactly 🤦🏾♀️
@@salonegal4024yea if you’re not an instagram baddie type of black girl then that means you date white men
I go where I'm appreciated regardless of what some rando thinks. Sometimes its in the form of a nerdy black man. Most of the time its either Asian men from the city or white guys who work in engineering.
I've learned you'll always be someone's type. 🤷🏾♀️
You're for the street (or for the world, maybe😅)
Amen…go where you are treated right! So many flavors, why limit to one!? 💅🏾
Amen.
This doesn’t go for every bw. Not every bw is everyone’s type and considered unattractive
@@garanceahran7953 and you're for a hole dug atleast 6ft deep. Dusty.
My sisters were telling me that white people always find me. I was literally in Jamaica (A black country mind you) and became friends with like five white people and "talked to" like two white boys during the week I was there. Some white mother also came up to my sisters talking about "my son needs a wife."
😂
shii im jamaican and this STILL happens to me...what da hell
People obsession with race is sickening. Of course sometimes race does matter and we need to discuss it, but why use it as a way to insult someone or look down on people Or treat them as less. Creating problems where they are no need to be. 🤢
It’s almost like creating a hierarchy was the WHOLE point white ppl created the concept of our current understanding of “race” 👁👄👁,
Bc the world we are socialised in, is based upon racial hierarchy
When racism exists, race is going to matter
I think the main issue with this is that, especially in America, race is tied to culture.
Culture is an important thing to humans.
@@umuu2 The world you are socialised in is based on class/money. We dont live in the 1700's anymore.
I'm older Wht European guy and never heard of colourism (or featurism) till I came across a conversation on here some years ago. I grew up around women who weren't for the most part, wearing any makeup and when they did, it would only be a token gesture and who's hair wasn't generally being messed with (much) so that was my 'normal'. Natural was my 'normal'.
While media/social media influences may lean in a certain direction, it seams fair to assume that my counterparts of your generation are getting a similar experience in and around the home to the one I had. For that reason, it makes sense that Wht boys are the ones who are particularly attracted to Lip Gloss' look. Attractive face, beautiful smile, her own hair in a style that compliments her beauty to a tee just as nature intended and self-confidence in abundance. What's not to like
😃 It would be nice to see Sacha return one day but I will understand if she doesn't, given the aggro she got last time round.
I 100% agree especially with the last part of your comment, we definitely need to make an authentic, all natural comeback😂💗 I hope we collectively heal from the self hate.
@@naomikissedmeWhen BM say this yall get aggressive and flip, so fake.
@@YourKingJDG The difference is action. Black men say they like this but are often seen with women who are not natural. I think black women get criticized by the black community too often in their natural state.
@@rockswapna natural state wigs and weave industries, half $1 billion in the black community. The average black woman is not natural. What do you even saying you’re just just trying to make the sisterhood of victims all the time men don’t like weave wigs regardless of race
@@rockswapna Because the majority of them are wearing that fake. And most are willing to look past it because you have to make concessions, not likely that you’re handed the perfect person.
However most genuinely natural BW only date out or are on some weird.
I cannot believe this is a conversation. Your commentary is great btw, but I did not know people were discussing stuff like this. As a brown skinned, plus size woman, who wears wigs of all textures(mainly as protective styling and because I like to switch up often), and dates white men, this is hilarious. Now that I think about it, people definitely make the assumption that I don't date white men.
Thank you :) ! Sis, count yourself lucky you have not had to be part of this discussion haha, it's so frustrating when you get those types of assumptions repeatedly!
@@TownofTawiah I'll be honest, I'm barely on any social media platforms and occasionally scroll UA-cam. Glad I came across this video. Now watching your others. Keep up the great work!
@@Jazzy-vx5sxthank you ☺️🫶🏾
I think it's pretty much the same discussion though, tif you don't act "black" then you are told you probably date white guys and girls who are deemed "too black" are stereotyped as well. Both sides of the coin are designed to place black women in a box and both have negative connotations.
One time at the doctor’s, a resident asked me my race or nationality and I said “just black”. And he was confused why I said that and said “what do you mean just black? that’s enough” and from then, I’ve never played into not feeling black or exotic enough. Kinda sad it took a white man for me to feel whole in a sense, but I’ve never gotten that validation anywhere else.
That’s actually so beautiful. And he’s right. Glad you shared that.
I’m bout to get a white boy 😂
The first man I dated who made me feel seen, beautiful, and appreciated was Irish. Dated him in college and he was amazing! Unfortunately, prior to dating him, I was in a relationship with an emotionally abusive man, who happened to be African American. I carried that baggage right into that relationship, and messed it up. I’ll never forget that Irish gentleman.
@@DubaiiMakaveliiSome are no better! Choose wisely!
I think you’re overthinking this. Black women look our best in our natural state. The community (because of self hatred) pushes the idea that we need to be done all the way up to be considered attractive and that often means altering our natural beauty to mimic something outside our genetics ie eurasian hair, heavily contoured nose, sharp instead of round features. But the truth is, we downgrade our appearance when we try to look like that. I know a lot of y’all may not believe that, but we honestly maximize our attractiveness when we capitalize on our natural selves. These men are just picking up on that, they probably find it refreshing. I hope more black women go natural in more ways, regardless of what type of man it may lead to them ending up with.
Preach🙌
Wow why not more comments or likes cuz this is convicting and encouraging
Everything you said. You always look better when you're adding YOU to YOU not trying to conform to something else. Its just sad how we're massively brainwashed into thinking the opposite.
One of the few who gets it
I always get stares and compliments when I wear an Afro. I dont like attention though (the states) so it is in a puff most of the time
I'm considered a light-skinned girl and i have 4c type hair. And, i can relate to this discussion and when i dated other races they are "welcoming" when it comes to my natural hair and love it. The black men in my life always have the expectation that i should look like a baddie or "proper" and I'm not into that culture . It was interesting hearing your perspective and i don't think its also good to also consider that there are light-skinned girls with 4c hair who share the same experience as you. Great video >3
When. Dark skinned black women are talking yall never fail to insert yourselves lmaoooo please ma’am give it a rest. Let us have our discussion😂y’all are always focused on and platformed.
@@TheWhyteRabbit9you must be jealous of lightskins lol at the end of the day she said what she said now beat it
@@Americansarecrazy could never be babes🤭
@@TheWhyteRabbit9She wasn’t inserting herself, light skinned BW do experience texturism. As a light skinned woman BM already have certain expectations that she’s meant to meet but because she doesn’t fit their ideal of what a light skinned woman is supposed to look like she’s had negative experiences with them and is just expressing them.
So we're inserting ourselves? Yet you want to procreate with WM and make more of us? Girl, bye. She IS Black whether her skin is dark or light. Why did YOU insert your dark skinndedness into her plight? @@TheWhyteRabbit9
I promise as a lightskin black girl you can't win with black men and natural hair they hate it when my short 4c hair is out too
Why do you even want them tbh
it’s ridiculous! then they say BW who wear their natural hair and attract WM are “whitewashed” 😹 what world are we living in 😭
Self-hating dark skin black guys. No one has time for them lol.
As a light-skinned black woman with 4C hair as well. I've always gotten such negative comments from black men about my hair. Gonna rock my afro regardless.
@@AnaOPAsmr ignore the weirdos many of them hate their own hair and features tbh
I'm here to say that I don't even think it's just dark skin women or women who might look unkept. I am what is considered medium toned, and also pretty feminine, and black men are not interested, and for the most part have not been interested because of my disinterest in Euro standards. I wear big earrings and bright colors. When I wear makeup it's very dramatic and I like bold batik prints that are often associated with African style clothing. I don't know about other parts of the world but I know that black men are very much into respectability in the United States, which changes generationally. It's not just about colorism in the US it's about proximity to whiteness. Which includes the way you dress, your politics, your skin color, and your hairstyle choices. All-in-all there's entirely too much pressure on black women to perform for other people. It's exhausting
I love african fashions too
White dyke here, but I feel like you're onto something, because I really like African fashions, natural hair, and so on. After all, if I want to see something European style, I can look at my own gormless face in the mirror. I think it's like that for a significant portion of white people. Not full-on exoticization, just "ooh, that's neat," like seeing a blue flower on a bush full of pink ones.
Leslie, i can tell you are over it entirely -). I think you are gorgeous and your specific beauty . as a male I would personally assume you are married to a white man and i'd just keep it moving. you look like a Chemistry/Biology graduate. And you see we men we perceive those as expensive properties .
not the infamous ear tuck 😂
LOOL righttt😭
The Debbie Ryan ear tuck specifically, lol 😂✋🏿
@@twigtansy5359hehehehehhehehe 😏
I notice a lot of non black men love darker skinned sistas. Even a lot of teenage boys come up to me or I’d catch them staring, because some are too shy to approach lol. I love it 🥰
Nope, we don't, at least not more than black men.
@@55CINCO55 I’m speaking from my experience living in London and traveling the country. Not yours. You don’t know me sir. Now good bye 👋 😂
@@DarkandlovelyLovely and I'm speaking from the experience of talking to thousands of men of different races in America throughout my life.
@@55CINCO55Okay and she said she's in London. What is wrong with you?
@@feliznavidad6958 People find the same things physically attractive everywhere, what is wrong with you?
And now that I finished this video- Yes, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on how you relate to yourself and dating!
It’s ridiculous how I reinforced a box for myself that denied everything I study/work towards: Black people, Black women being able to autonomously live, happily and freely, with the communities they determine for themselves. Thank you and look forward to your next projects!~ ✨
Thank you for watching to the end
“You look like you Date White Guys” From them. Is Gaslighting. For Praise And Validation from Them! They want Us to Beg for their Attention!
I DON’T EXPLAIN ANYTHING TO IDOITS! Bye Felicia!
The thing that's annoying about this is- even if we don't look at colorism- it's not even a "black girl" criteria it's an "African-american standard of black girl" criteria.
You think? Because the girl is British herself and she’s explaining that the black men in her geographic, Europe, hold the same tropes that African-American black guys hold AA women in the US to too. I’ve heard other black British UA-cam girlies speak on the self-hating ways of black male Brit’s too and the skewed standards they hold for black British girls as well. I honestly think it’s a black-male thing they do in general as long as they have proximity to non-blackness.
Non-American black people keep trying so hard to push a image of yourself that you don’t have these problems but we all know you do. Black American women don’t even bleach their skin, that’s how much worse Caribbean and African women have it but you want to pretend it doesn’t exist 😬 Throwing Black Americans under the bus and stereotyping is not going to solve problems in Europe or Africa
@@Myselfandme3I’ve noticed over the past few decades that US media (i.e. films, TV shows) and - more recently - social media have spread a monolithic framework not only of what/who Black people are but also what we care about and we address this. I get frustrated here in the UK when there’s social discourse about issues or from a perspective that don’t take our Black British experience into consideration. I’m not saying this is what Akua is doing in this video, just to be clear.
@@alnsubuga That's exactly right. It's artificial, established by media culture rather than historical culture. And American media is probably the most powerful in the world. It's drastically influenced how everyone behaves, even in places that claim to hate America.
No we have it in Africa and everywhere the African diaspora is
The lady that mentioned the middle part with the braids really got me 😂
Because that is me to the T and I only date non-BM.
thank you for this video sis! ❤ loved it, also very relatable bc i got teased for this and am actually in a long term relationship with a white man now at 27 😂 i guess i fit the stereotypes but i didn’t go out looking for white men/avoiding black men, i just am where i’m wanted, loved & appreciated-“Brad” just got to me first lol
Glad you liked the video!! Sounds like we're similar, I go where I'm wanted and loved, that's my priority! It's annoying when I was seeing a yt guy earlier this year I was like ffs now I fit the stereotype but now I'm like f it, he just got there first like you said.
Btw, are you from the States? Because I feel like I've seen the 'Brad' metaphor a few times in the comments and I feel like in the UK our equivalent would be like Tom or Harry lol not that many Brads here. 😂
Me too! Never had interest in DUSTIES! … They Are Always Bitter and Broken in Heart! I fit the Exotic Glam Beauty My Hubby loves it! I Love Being The Beauty that ATTRACT Quality to Me!
@@TownofTawiahBROKEN CLOWNS are Projecting Their Own ISSUES On to Others!
@@TownofTawiah There’s not that many “Brads” in the U.S either. It’s just slang coined by a certain segment of black people in UA-cam.
Brad= White men
Becky= White Women
Maria= Hispanic women
Snow bunny (this has been slang before UA-cam was a thing I think)= Snow bunny refers to a white woman. It usually refers to one who involves herself romantically or sexually with black men.
The above has been my same experience. I just go with the flow of where I am in high demand. Even when I travel overseas, it's the same heightened level of interest - and not in a fetishised way as some people like to suggest. Men choose the woman, women don't approach men, so I advise younger black women to widen their dating pool if others are displaying interest at an accelerated rate - you can and should still date men of your race if there is interests too, don't get me wrong please.
Thanks for your video! People judging you for tucking your hair behind your ears is too much. It sucks how Black women are held to higher standards for beauty and dating compared to non Black women.
"It's cheaper innit?" Would have been the very end of any contact with that person. Wow!
As long as he’s not bashing his own race or women, he he’s cool.
Great video! As a “mixed” person (though I don’t necessarily identify with the term), I sorta feel like there’s been a weird attitude on tiktok when it comes to interracial relationships and this video really sums up a lot of it! Thanks for making this vid I hope to see more soon 🙏
Thanks for watching it through and sharing your thoughts!
Why don’t you identify with something that you are?
Why are you trying to police someone's self-identification?
@jennifernabrahamable ?????this isn't Kindergarten when you have parents of 2 different races then you are mixed and it's concerning if someone says they don't like it.
A mixed person can never understand what it means to be one of the races so they for they can't dismiss one side of who they are
@@laurencameron3150 I only grew up around my mother’s side of the family so I never really got to interact with my father’s side and feel a connection with what his ethnic background means to me
I’m a black girl and I’m with a white polish girl, we get hate all the time and I find it sad that people just think of segregation still till this day. Idc what color you are or what your background is, if you love me that’s all that genuinely matters above anything. At least for me personally
White guy here. You are absolutely beautiful, intelligent and articulate and don’t need to change a single thing about yourself.
I pull both, surprisingly a lot of Latino men are attracted to me-and I mean the ones that don’t even speak English lol. BUT I pull more of the Latinos & whites when my hair is natural and I am completely fine with that. The 🥷🏽’s only want me when I have the 22’ body wave middle part bussdown…which is why I stopped wearing weave 💀
LMFAOOO heavy on the “why I stopped wearing weave”😂😂😂like I literally don’t want those 🥷’s to find me attractive at all
Yesss non black men love natural hair even a lot of asian men are obsessed with my hair as well as white and latino but I also get approached by a lot of black men with my hair being natural but it’s also because I feel like a lot of black men are into hair that is of curlier texture and hair that isn’t short (I’ve noticed a lot of black men hate short hair) so hair texture and length def play a role for black men
@@niarenee8318 heavy on the curlier and longer natural hair. I wish they would just say they like biracial/ambiguous black women or non-black women altogether and call it a day. They don’t like black women who have “nigga naps”(I literally heard a group of boys and older men call it that at a family function)…
@@youmaddawgyyy2404 they don’t like REAL unambiguous black women anyway so why would I continue to go out my way to attract them 🫠all that’s going to happen is when I finally take that wig off, wash my real hair & wear it in its natural state they’re going to e turned off or asking “when am I getting my hair done.” Let me save my lil coins & feelings and just wear the styles they DONT like 😂
@@babyg7796 that’s crazy they even said that and they probably have what they refer to as ‘nigga naps’ the self hate is sad; like they’re not even attracted to people who look like them smh
Im very soft spoken and speak well. Get told I'm too white even from white people. I don't care really but their tone is what makes me not like that person. I also attract a lot of white guys but not a lot of black men and thats ok but I do get looks from strangers and they act weird about it. I have a white fiance. He is a gem. ❤
I never understood why whites say that, but low key wants your wisdom, style, your fitness routine, etc. Then they like "other" you in a way. It's very very annoying, but then they make fun of black stereotypes.
You attracting white guys is why white women would tell you you are "too white". I noticed white women of a certain class get very snarky or weird with me when they realize that white men are looking my way.
@@Magique88888 I have a redhead sister and we get questioned when we say we are siblings. My first crush showed up to an event and a lot of people were staring and in shock. It's kinda weird how people still act surprised by interracial couples.
i wear a middle part cause of my widows peak and i tuck my hair behind my ears cause i just want to show my piercings off 😭
My mom falls under this trap because she's been through it when it came to dating. I told her "yes I like guys who are not essentially black" she took this as me saying I meant I completely hate black men ignoring the fact that I also said "I have been bullied by black guys my emtire 12 years of school so sadly I haven't connected to many black guys" however I don't hate them at all, but Ive been isolated because Ive been seen as "acting white". I'm definitely low maintenance I've never been on a date because I've honestly not cared for it, but I have noticed how I've been talked to and so far the way I have been treated and I dont like how some men are treating us black women.
I DON’T MEAN TO ACT WHITE! I WAS RAISED IN NEBRASKA! 😢
You NEVER need to ask forgiveness for who you are. You're perfect the way you are. It's others who are full of stupidity and self-hate!
@@beautyininsanity421 ❤️
LOL
You be you, and you be proud.
I had a black man, with his full chest, tell me he had feelings for me despite usually not effing with black women………………and thought that was a compliment I-
Oh no, we can pull blk men. Just not the type we would like to.
Literally like I don’t want a thug
@@zooweemamabillycool, so you still have literally most black men that exist to choose from..
@@coyoteblue4027 I see someone took my comment the wrong way, per usual. I wasn’t saying all blk men are thugs lovie, if this is what you’re implying .
@@zooweemamabilly I was just pointing out that most *aren't*
@@coyoteblue4027 I already knew that tho
Great video! I’ve never really heard anyone discuss this phenomena in detail.
I think the archetypal black woman who dates predominantly white men can be separated into two categories. 1. Black women who don’t fit or subscribe to culturally black aesthetics and hobbies/music taste. These women tend to be “low maintenance” or average looking in how they present. They’re not as conscious about having “laid” hair.
2. Refined looking black women who are “high maintenance” in appearance and typically date white men 5+ years their senior.
I’d say I fit into the first category but I am a very curvy plus sized gal so I find black men gravitate towards me, but those black men also don’t fit the acceptable black male archetype, and would fit a male version of my first description.
Damm you actually categorised that perfectly. I am very high maintenance. My fiance is a wm 10 years older than me and well established. I wouldn't call myself a "baddie" but an extremely educated and polished woman. You couldn't have been more accurate.😂
@@tessy28 yeah, my Aunty falls into that category too.
I’m sure there are outliers but those are the two staple archetypes I’ve seen in black women who date predominantly white men.
Perfect description.
As a dark skin woman, I have noticed that white men do like dark skin women with braids are natural hair, therefore if you have those attributes , people will think that you only like white men.
I think it depends on the environment, in the Carribbean and Africa women with these attributes are chosen. One thing I noticed when I visited the Carribbean is that most wore their hair in braids or faux locks.
and if youre slim and not a hippo
During my youth, I used to love exposing people's prejudices, biases and anti-blackness ideas by asking them "Why did they think I only dated white men? What is it about me that says it?" Then I would ask them "How does a black woman, who dates black men, look like?" Every-single-time they exposed their biased and anti-black, bigoted mindset.
And their anti-blackness weren't just aimed at black women, who they believed were white-washed. It was also targeting black men and towards the "pro-black love" black women.
I "pass" this test but I'm married to a very proud black man with locs.... what they're confusing for whiteness is actually just a delicate feminine disposition. That's it. I'm very soft spoken but if you actually hear what I'm saying I'm very strong in my opinions and my thoughts but I've never been considered aggressive by men (only white women but who cares what they think). I also have very long locs and wear almost no makeup and if I do, I wear no eye makeup 9/10 times. I'm also slim and not super bootylicious - giving keke palmer before her pregnancy.
Yes white men have approached me but so have black men who aren't crazy immature and superficial. Guys who only want white or light skin women or "good hair" or wigs and weaves... basically Instagram "bad b's"... won't even see me and I'm personally very happy about that. Those kinds of black men are usually out here creating single mums because they're immature in their thinking and world view. As a grown man why are you so occupied with the beauty differences between the races and completions rather than having your preference and keeping it pushing? You don't even need to verbalise it, just let your actions speak for itself.
I say all that to say the notion of being "the type of black girl that ONLY goes for white guys" is a wildly ridiculous statement. Black or white men who even make this statement are an easy red flag to avoid. I wouldn't even give them a second thought. We aren't a monolithic and just because some white/ black guys might be interested doesn't mean they all are or that they are interesting for genuine reasons.
Best to take each man and judge him on his own character.
I don't have ties to the black community irl so I really appreciate video essayists like yourself speaking on black women's contemporary dating struggles. Thank you for the candidness while also keeping it lighthearted. I hope to see more perspectives from my own race of women as well. There are so many similarities.
So I'm an Indian-American and some of the bw dating/image struggles I really relate to. Colorism, exoticism, the frustrating societal need to prove that we... have good hygiene habits?? Being undesirable or seen as masculine by men, only seeing eurocentric versions of our women valued in media. Our community is also really stringent about dating outside of our race. Not fitting in with white-coded america unless I ignore my roots has been a huge struggle of mine, because there are parts of my familial culture that have really hurt me, and other parts that are so intrinsic to me that I feel proud of. Being judged either way. Not being a good indian girl enough for indian men is a whole thing, while they seek out white women for fun and place their value higher than us. Feeling invisible to other races of men unless they sexualize me... I could go on. Of course, these struggles between western black woman and western indian women arent all rooted in the same causes or present in the same way, but like, same spices, different recipe 🤣
This is my opinion but, we weren't born to martyr ourselves to our communities either. We deserve to be happy. We didn't make the bed and we dont have to sleep in it. Ik we just want to find a safe place for ourselves to thrive in the system that constantly asks us to change ourselves. So, consider searching inside your heart for what a safe place means for yourself. That is what matters most in the short lives we have. Thank you lovely people who read this ❤
As a White man who loves all kinds of women based on their personalities. I do like black woman based on who they are and think their beautiful. But like all women they have to have what I like in all women. Having been with White women all my life and married one it’s a nice change to be with a black women. I’m 64 and now with a Latina who is fantastic. Get over the race obsession and let people love who ever they want to love. All women are beautiful and I personally love dark women.
I proudly only dated white/nonblack men 😊
Now Im proudly married to one. Its fun over here.
I feel bad for your future sons and maybe even daughters
@@55CINCO55why?
@@55CINCO55Bitter Tyrone
@@stanmomo9587 I'm not Black, I'm White.
@@55CINCO55 Keep lying. A White man wouldn’t care this much about proving some don’t like Black women, let alone this whole topic itself.
My first time ever watching you, and honestly this video is amazing and very true. It honestly is very stupid how putting ur hair behind the ear means u like white men. How can other races do it but not black woman?
Thank you! stay around 🥹 It's RIDICULOUS. If we began to list the expectations/ limitations put on black women, we could be here for a while, it's a joke.
I think its funny, but what ut speaks to is a certain aesthetic. Or combination of aesthetics that we make assumptions
Because your hair doesn't need to be tucked the way white girls does
Story of my life. Black people look at me crazy for being nice and bubbly with a neutral midwestern accent. One black dude tried to tease me and call me a white girl. I told him if I was, he'd be all over this.
why white men like black women is because black women are straight shooters and are fire flys like irish women, white guys dont have the swagger black women do but white guys are good at building something up like a business, so the ying and yang effect happens and BW with a WM have the longest lasting marriages out of any color combo for this reason.
🤣🤣 Yeah, you tell’em.
You go girl
I think AA women are moving towards dating outside of their race and outside of their nationality. You have to go where you’re appreciated.
You stumbled on my UA-cam home page today and wow - you're amazing. This content was great - thoughtful and funny. Subscribed!!!
“Denim button up with pushed up sleeves” / “lululemon leggings” / “those glasses” / “box braids tucked behind ears” / “new growth box braids” : 🧿👄🧿 the woman was too stunned to speak 😂
So what if she does date white guys ? She is beautiful and she should date who she feels like dating.
the hair tuck and immediate gasp lmao real asf
my first video of yours but i love the style of having different personas in dialogue! the algorithm is too good, youtube knows i love some black sociology 😭
Personally…this issue is clearly very deep rooted for some and I’m not gonna to go blue trying to validate my EXISTENCE to people who look like me ( but don’t like themselves ) or just people who don’t LIKE THEMSELVES. Humans are complex creatures with a lot of internalized chaos and insecurity and as a black woman it’s my job to nurture and care for myself and others cause that’s what tf I’m suppose to do! Find purpose in yourself and everything else don’t matter. Black women and men are suppose to love and respect each other, cause
we as individuals are beautiful and resilient ❤
Wildly inappropriate but my god you are pretty💀
I just want to wear what I consider my style, speak how I speak, act how I act, and look how I want to look without people judging me by trying to say that I act white or only pull white guys.
Type 4 hair extensions cost 8x more than bone straight ones where i come from
Right! And super hard to find but if anyone’s looking Ruka Hair is black owned wink wink
It is done on purpose! Our products cost more too
Yeah I literally only attract white men. My black and white girl friends are like “we can see it”, my lil bros like “icl you’re gonna give me mixed nephews and nieces”. I used to hate it, but I’m coming to accept it
This was a cool topic to cover. Today, I embrace our people's hair in all its versatile forms, but it wasn't always like that. As a black man, it's important to keep a critical lens on the ideas I've been socialized to believe about black hair, especially when that hair was on a black girl's/woman's head.
I actually appreciate your self reflection. Especially as MOST of the complaints about a bw's hair comes from bm. Your self awareness is refreshing
Lol this was interesting, apparently I look like someone that only dated white men. In reality, my long term partner is a black woman.
Lol, GOT 'EM! 😂😂😂
Chile don't feel bad! Blah women who tuck their hair behind their ears have EDGES and they ain't afraid to show them!!!!!
Very interesting and easy to follow + informative video!
Thank you! Glad you watched
Huh... as a white person looking in from the outside, this was very surprising, and quite interesting. Cheers for doing this video, and giving some new perspectives on this debate(?).
The way Gen Z cracks me tf up with these random generalizations😂😂😂
this is not a generational thing lol
I’ve been watching videos about colorism, texturism, racism basically everything ism pertaining to the black culture lately. From observation, I find that a Caucasian man is attracted to black women with her hair in its natural state which I find fascinating!!!! He doesn’t care if it’s manipulated or covered under a wig/weave. So I could honestly say I wouldn’t question a Caucasian man liking a black woman (dark skin) because he genuinely likes her. But being a black woman, the black man preference was ALWAYS the lighter complexion black women. The crazy thing is dark skin women would date a dark skin man in a heartbeat but a dark skin women majority of the time isn’t their first choice 😢 It’s 2024 and the stigma will never go away
the analysis in this video was so good, i hope she can figure her mic out or edit the sound better cause she killed my eardrums in a few of those transitions 😭
Subscribed because of the confidence. This is how we need to affirm ourselves as black women. Yes girl!
when colorism walked in the room I screamed. then hit "like", then hit "subscribe"....in that exact order.
hahahaha 💓💓
i mainly date guys who are attracted to me. i'm more alt then anything i guess but as a black woman who dates a lot of white men i always feel judged by black women who don't date white men. but i mean i just attract what i attract. i will say i've only met like one or two white men who fetishized being with me and it's obvious when they do. i try my best not to interact with them.
i miss lipgloss sm :(
The audio balance in this video is crazy