Finding Integrity in Difficult Conversations | Todd Kane | TEDxSUNYCortland

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  • Опубліковано 14 жов 2024
  • During the 2020 pandemic, hairstylist Todd Kane found himself trapped in conversations with clients in the salon. Years of experience behind the chair, on stages, and in classrooms did not fully prepare him to deal with 2020’s uncomfortable truths, triggering conversations and financial threats to his business. In this talk, Todd Kane insightfully breaks down how to work through your fears and find a bridge between people’s truths, even if they differ. Do you have an uncomfortable conversation or relationship to step back into? This talk is one you’ll want to share in the DMs. Todd Kane is a hairstylist, speaker, author, and experienced leader who has spent over 30 years developing the talents of diverse people in both the military and private sectors. In his first book, "Hide & Seek, There’s No Truth in Fear," Todd shares his personal experiences of choosing safety over uncomfortable truths and introduces his FIND methodology, which helps individuals and organizations overcome fear and navigate difficult conversations with integrity. He is an experienced speaker and facilitator who frequently presents authenticity, diversity, and inclusion across the country. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

КОМЕНТАРІ • 61

  • @connorobrochta1469
    @connorobrochta1469 Рік тому +2

    Love this Todd!! Keep doing you

  • @jetsetben
    @jetsetben Рік тому +2

    Todd, My partner Mark and I just watched your TEDx Talk and wow, we are so impressed by your messaging and delivery! We all encounter difficult conversations that can benefit from your approach. Thank you for sharing this and for giving so much of yourself to help others. We appreciate you!

    • @iamtoddkane
      @iamtoddkane Рік тому

      Thank you Ben and Mark. Perhaps your HR lead would like this as well. It could be used for team development. Please share with them and feel free to connect us if comfortable. Thank you again for watching.

    • @iamtoddkane
      @iamtoddkane Рік тому

      I'm happy you and Mark connected with the talk. I hope you FIND it useful in your conversations and relationships.

  • @CindyAtkinson-s5y
    @CindyAtkinson-s5y Рік тому +2

    Thank you for sharing Todd. Words do matter.

  • @PeterRosas
    @PeterRosas Рік тому +2

    I enjoyed your conversation Todd, well done. I liked that it was thought provoking.
    As a hairdresser, I felt the emotions that occur everyday behind the chair. Most conversations with clients are light hearted and jovial, but every now and again when there is a difference of opinion in whatever was being discussed. You know it immediately with their facial expression or their body language. For me the emotion can become a fight or flight situation.
    Which is never good in a business situation. Thank you for your insight.

  • @ianthesullivan
    @ianthesullivan Рік тому +2

    Love this so much! The FIND method is a game changer for me. What a fantastic talk. Amazing!

  • @CindyAtkinson-s5y
    @CindyAtkinson-s5y Рік тому +2

    Thank you for sharing Todd
    I’ll definitely share FIND. Great tool ❤

  • @deborahgreenhut5025
    @deborahgreenhut5025 Рік тому +1

    This is a gracious yet fierce examination of catching yourself adrift without integrity. The acronym “FIND” is a helpful beacon for the way back to the shore.

  • @jacquiechandler2031
    @jacquiechandler2031 Рік тому +2

    Yes! Thank you for reminding us how our diversity brings many opportunities for sharing our 'points of view' and it does not need to break the cellular links that connect us as a species seeking to evolve

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Рік тому

      "diversity brings many opportunities"
      Over generalizations are not healthy.
      Sometimes it is great to hear diversity - it gives us tool to beat Rashomon Effect and egocentrism.
      However - when we are too much open to others - predators and narcissists will take advantage of our openness and agreeableness. Sometimes it is okay to tell someone off.

  • @dewybrowneyes
    @dewybrowneyes Рік тому +2

    With this model, I hope to FIND my back into conversations with integrity even if it may make me feel uncomfortable. Thank you for your words!

    • @iamtoddkane
      @iamtoddkane Рік тому

      Thank you for your comment! There is value in the discomfort. Feel it and let it guide you. I appreciate your feedback.

  • @sspears_88
    @sspears_88 Рік тому +2

    We all deserve to feel safe in difficult conversations, but sometimes circumstances make it even more difficult. Thanks for sharing your story, Todd, and for providing us with the tools to approach things differently!

    • @iamtoddkane
      @iamtoddkane Рік тому

      I'm happy you watched and connected with my talk. I'm happy to share my experiences and the valuable lessons they provide.

  • @dennisryaneriksen3490
    @dennisryaneriksen3490 Рік тому +2

    FIND ❤

  • @ronryannoval6341
    @ronryannoval6341 Рік тому +2

    Amazing talk and meaningful message baby! I’m proud of your growth! I love you 💙

  • @bradleymoore7622
    @bradleymoore7622 Рік тому +2

    Todd, I loved how your talk started and I enjoyed the idea you shared. Fantastic lesson and idea that you chose I loved it!

  • @tpeterson6213
    @tpeterson6213 Рік тому +2

    Todd, this is an important message. Thanks for sharing, your words have power. Hugs my friend!

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Рік тому

      What was the message?

  • @RubiFierros-k2w
    @RubiFierros-k2w Рік тому +2

    Inspirational message! Having Integrity is so important

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Рік тому

      I didn't get what is his point. It is like he tries to tell us something important but has no skills to put it in words understandable to anyone but himself.

  • @RyanFinke-g3k
    @RyanFinke-g3k Рік тому +2

    Thanks for the wise words and perspective 👏

  • @alyssaweston8744
    @alyssaweston8744 Рік тому +2

    Thank you for sharing your story! I really connected to the idea of experiencing safety on multiple fronts, and getting to the root cause of that unsafe feeling. Thank you for modeling an authentic way to repair harm with those we care about.

    • @iamtoddkane
      @iamtoddkane Рік тому

      I appreciate you watching, connecting, and acknowledging the modeling. It was the heart of the process for me and an experience that held the core msg and most valuable lessons.

  • @TaraKing-k1i
    @TaraKing-k1i Рік тому +2

    Amazing Todd! Can use this in my leadership training. Learning how the have tough conversations is a tool we all need!

  • @markrivera6634
    @markrivera6634 Рік тому +2

    Love it!!!! Thank you for sharing your wisdom :)

  • @mariahedgington8717
    @mariahedgington8717 Рік тому +2

    Excellent Talk Todd!! FIND -- such an important way to find our way back together. Thank you for sharing your insights and message.

    • @iamtoddkane
      @iamtoddkane Рік тому

      Thank you! I hope you use FIND often for better conversations and relationships. It was my honor to share this experience with you.

  • @ocdude714
    @ocdude714 Рік тому +2

    So proud of you 🎉

  • @PennyMoody-kp4wd
    @PennyMoody-kp4wd Рік тому +1

    Powerful message...need more of this these days!!

  • @deirdreanderson77
    @deirdreanderson77 Рік тому +2

    This was great Todd! Very inspiring words and a very relatable message.

  • @artcortez-j7z
    @artcortez-j7z Рік тому +2

    Todd ,
    I loved your talk, truly covered what can happen to all of us behind the chair. You explained and expressed it so eloquently and at the same time challenged us to do better .
    Thank you I truly loved it ❤

  • @rjmsbr247
    @rjmsbr247 Рік тому +2

    Well done, great message!

  • @ellencita2
    @ellencita2 Рік тому +2

    Well said Todd!

  • @jesumpitogo4312
    @jesumpitogo4312 Рік тому +2

    This presentation is informative! Thank you for sharing ur invaluable insights❤

  • @Asj2389
    @Asj2389 Рік тому +2

    Hi Todd ,
    Thanks for sharing your growth with us!

  • @TanjaDiamond
    @TanjaDiamond Рік тому +2

    So amazing seeing this talk from its idea stage to the TEDx Stage!! YAY! Well done, and such important information!

    • @iamtoddkane
      @iamtoddkane Рік тому

      Thank you for all your help. I hope you also connected with the experience as a hairstylist and service provider. :-)

    • @TanjaDiamond
      @TanjaDiamond Рік тому

      @@iamtoddkane Absolutely!!!

  • @PretzelAnnRed
    @PretzelAnnRed Рік тому +2

    Nice one Todd! Learned a lot from this talk.

  • @artcortez-j7z
    @artcortez-j7z Рік тому +2

    Todd excellent talk, every hairstylist should listen to this piece. You truly capture the vulnerability felt behind the chair especially with Political and emotional climate going on in the world now.
    Your talk was not only informative but very relatable along with the challenge for us to do better
    Thank you
    It was brilliant ❤

    • @iamtoddkane
      @iamtoddkane Рік тому

      Thank you for watching and connecting with the msg. Being a hairstylist requires vulnerability and maintaining our integrity in difficult conversations and situations.

  • @leadr_co
    @leadr_co Рік тому +2

    Thank you for sharing this powerful system! What a wonderful talk with a powerful delivery!

    • @iamtoddkane
      @iamtoddkane Рік тому

      Thank you for helping bring it to life.

  • @yvonnecharette-kitelinger6141
    @yvonnecharette-kitelinger6141 Рік тому +2

    Thank you for making us all think! This was amazing ❤

  • @ginnymueller5678
    @ginnymueller5678 Рік тому +2

    I found this very relatable - how many times have I sacrificed integrity because I feel unsafe? Especially during Covid when things were so polarized! Todd does an excellent job of guiding the listener on how to re-enter difficult conversations using the simple acronym FIND. Can’t wait to hear more from Todd in the future.

    • @iamtoddkane
      @iamtoddkane Рік тому

      Thanks Ginny! Perhaps your HR lead would like this as well. It could be used for team development. Please share with them and feel free to connect us if comfortable. Thank you again for watching.

    • @iamtoddkane
      @iamtoddkane Рік тому

      Thank you for mentioning the polarization - it is driven by fear, and I created FIND to build bridges between people's truths.

  • @jannalopez4176
    @jannalopez4176 4 місяці тому

    very valuable and relatable insights! Thank you so much for your truth and wisdom! :-)

  • @leihllc
    @leihllc Рік тому +2

    Wow! Thank you so much for being so vulnerable and sharing your story Todd! I can’t even imagine how so many people in the beauty industry felt going through the pandemic. I can’t wait to hear the next Ted Talk. AND I LOVE YOUR BOOK “ Hide & Seek: There's No Truth in Fear “ Your story is so inspiring to us all.

    • @iamtoddkane
      @iamtoddkane Рік тому

      Thank you for watching and reading! The only failure in experience is losing the lessons in our fear.

  • @Coconutt69
    @Coconutt69 Рік тому +2

    That’s interesting ❤ I would love to follow your journey! Keep going man ❤

  • @BryanHumphrey-c2c
    @BryanHumphrey-c2c Рік тому +2

    Great message and one that we all need to hear in this current world.

  • @chrissybarr8525
    @chrissybarr8525 Рік тому

    Love this!

  • @SilvesterSpeaks
    @SilvesterSpeaks Рік тому +2

    👏👏👏

  • @SabrinaAngel
    @SabrinaAngel Рік тому +2

    👏

  • @gurjindersinghsandhu8540
    @gurjindersinghsandhu8540 Рік тому +3

    First comment🎉

  • @manjudekasaloi3093
    @manjudekasaloi3093 Рік тому +1

    Fake subscribers and fake views 😂

  • @artcortez-j7z
    @artcortez-j7z Рік тому +2

    Todd ,
    I loved your talk, truly covered what can happen to all of us behind the chair. You explained and expressed it so eloquently and at the same time challenging us to do better .
    Thank you I truly loved it ❤

    • @iamtoddkane
      @iamtoddkane Рік тому

      Thank you! We give a lot, experience a lot, and need a lot of practice maintaining our energy, health, and well-being. Integrity is the key to all of it.