Wow, I just realized, "Crumbs of love" is actually what they call "Doing their best" so you are grateful for the little bit and admire their effort when it's so "hard" for them. It can look like "empathetically" lowering your standards .
@@3jesus3christ3 well hello. If they are truly doing their best, and their best sucks, their best isn't good enough for me no matter who labels them what. Someone who wants someone to pity them because their best just isn't good enough is... well... pitiful. We don't change a test to be easier for someone who sucks at studying; we tell that person to study harder and if they can't, they fail.
Learning I had a narcissistic parent has helped me heal so much. All these years wondering what was wrong with me when I got 99% instead of the 100%…. I could never grasp why it was never good enough until now. Now I can recognize no one is perfect or “gets the hole in one every time” and that’s what being human is. I am finally free. 😊
My mom was ruined by a narcissist. I barely have a relationship with her. She was my best friend. The only family I had besides the one I created. There have always been issues there because she has ALWAYS chosen men over me, even as a little kid but its the worst it has ever been now. She has ZERO self respect and is obsessed with her narcissist now ex husband. Its rough!
I refrain from loving or feeling deeply for anybody anymore besides animals because of the pain that was caused to me most of the time building something deep just for it to get complicated afterwards... Or because of exploitative people that just want to break my spirit and not look back on me and kind of just ghost me until I'm forgotten and abandoned once again. Every time I love something these people consider it a threat and try to destroy anything I love which is completely horrifying and confusing. Most of my life was made up of bread crumbs and stonewalling and neglect. I always feel fragmented...
My mom was the most amazing person ever. She has been entirely ruined by a 15 year marriage with a narcissistic a-hole. She has allowed it to ruin her relationship with me, her only child and her grandchildren. Its so sad. She was all we has.
I didn't finish this video yet. The comments have me sad. But I hope you all find people who are charitable and love you how, and as you are. Ego is very dangerous.
Love is a loaded word. It's each person's definition of love that makes all the difference. Some people define love as the ability to control. If they say, 'I love you', it really means 'I control you'. As long as you go along with that, you're a "good boy". Question it, and you're 'rebellious'. Reject it, and it means you don't 'love' them anymore. Yeah. Damn right.
I really appreciate how you differentiated between capacity to love and some of the reasons that prevent the self awareness needed to learn new habits/ methods how to be loving. I think both of my parents were on the narcissistic spectrum. Both had traumatic childhoods etc. The language you used gave me permission to acknowledge both their hurtful, painful behavior, and also the reasons why they behave the way they do- in a way that humanizes the experience of dealing with narcissistic people and what persons displaying a more narcissistic orientation/organization are going through. Thank you
As someone diagnosed with NPD and who makes content about living with it, I assure everyone we can genuinely love, at least in our own way. It's more that we can't trust that anyone could love us, so we avoid vulnerability at all costs. Sometimes we rationalize that feeling, but sometimes we're acutely aware of it. I've lost a lot of people who I really cared about because I was not willing to show my love for them out of fear of rejection. I know I made people feel unwanted and unloved, but it wasn't intentional and it wasn't the reality of the situation
I subscribed to your channel and I think your content is really great. I love listening to you and your guests I Come from a narcissist family and have met plenty along the way. My mental health is bad as a result. I have to say that your awareness is impressive and when I watch you, I can't stop but think how your sensitivity and vulnérability IS palpable...things I have never experienced with the narcissists I have met, except when they are manipulating. The emotions you show have another flavour. I must admit I find it hard to believe that narcissists can love... I am a "narcissist magnet"..I am cringing as I am writing that. If you have any content about that, please let me know. I'm all ears. Funny enough, there have been instances when I thought I attracted some because I reprensented a challenge... I do reject them though as soon as the mask slips off. Sending you love from France. Take Care. I'm off to your channel as soon as I am done with that one.
From my experience I would disagree with the klischee, that narcissistic parents always want their children to be perfect and be a straight A student. There is a conflicting interest of wanting to live out a fantasy of success through your children, but also to feel superior to them and see them fail compared to you, or at least not see them overtake you. My parents wanted my younger brothers to be successful and get good grades, but wanted my older brother and me not to be too successful. When I was allowed to be successful, it was under the condition, that I don't get a higher education than my mother and that she can feel responsible for my success, there was only being average with her help, or failing on my own. Her "help" also wasn't actually helpful, it was just advice that I should work at a supermarket or become a cook, or just putting random job offers from the newspaper on the table/fridge without even looking through them, so I didn't even have the qualifications for most of them, or they were too far away.
@@DrDanielFox Sometimes npd only has one child. I am the only child of npd mother. It's true there is a conflict there. When I was growing up she had very high expectations and was convinced that I am going to achieve a lot. But when I became an actual adult and really started to achieve things, she became very cold and started to downright verbally compare her achievements with mine stating that she has achieved more. This happens.
This is a fascinating-and important subject Dr. Fox. I have no doubt narcissists are capable of love, but the question to ask when considering a relationship with one is, can they love YOU well. Frequently, the answer is no.
In a narcissistic relationship the love I give has no reciprocity, it is all about her or him and it is devoided of any meaning it feels shallow. I dont miss them neither as friends nor as my family members.
Sounds like you’ve developed some really good insight now can certainly help you not only see your relationships but see yourself within those relationships. I wish you all the best.
@@DrDanielFoxI think I have been subcounsciously attracting people like my parents. I am in therapy and I hope to get rid of these tendencies to learn to recognise ill behaviors and bring to my life healthier folks. I wish more people would go to therapy. Your videos are very helpful, you have a no judgmental aproach which make us feel comfortable. Thank you.
Man, I really could have used this before I stayed 10 months in therapy with a narcissistic psychologist. It's only in the last few weeks (I walked away 6 months ago) that I realized what happened with the help of a fantastic new therapist. What's even more insidious is that she's a trauma specialist working with folks who have BPD and PTSD, which she diagnosed me with. She abused her power and twisted DBT concepts to explain away our poor rapport as simply a manifestation of my BPD or trauma symptoms. Each time I expressed my feelings and asserted my needs, it resulted in deflection, denial, and reversal of blame. For example, if I used the DEARMAN DBT skill to tell her that I felt angry and hurt when she interrupted my trauma processing to talk about pop culture or gripe about her mother-in-law, she responded by saying that SHE felt disrespected, incompetent, and rejected because of my (overly nice imo) feedback. It was my fight response to trauma (I'm a freezer or fawner...). When I'd ask her to tell me how I could respond more kindly and mindfully, she wouldn't answer. She was "just letting me know" how she felt yet insisted that I needed to validate her too if I was to expect validation from her. She'd suggest that maybe this was simply my push-pull relationship dynamics (which I don't have with anyone but her and my narcissistic mother) and never let go of that theory no matter what I'd say. She'd use whatever vulnerabilities I'd revealed to her to better understand and help me as a weapon in conflict, and she was clear that she expected me to take care of her emotional and ego needs. She was extremely pushy, undermining my consent and self-determined therapy goals if they weren't in alignment with her opinion. She constantly brought up her worries about clients "ghosting" her and thought I was going to do that too when I'd get rightfully upset with her lack of empathy. She reminded me of how much extra outside work she was doing for me and promised to never abandon me. She broke DBT phone coaching protocol by having absolutely no boundaries or limits, which just enhanced my dependency on her. I felt I owed her for the special attention I was getting. I felt so crazy by the end of it that I started creating written requests to her and making memos to myself to document reality. During every conflict, I would back off, apologize, and blame myself for my apparent "resistance." And, of course, as soon as I started shaming myself, she'd turn back around and provide me with encouraging words about being kind to myself. It was a total mindfuck that severely damaged my perception of DBT (I thought the techniques were manipulative instead of her) and further deepened my issues with self-invalidation and distrust of people in power. I still don't have clarity of what my diagnos(es) even is/are anymore. Since we have so much in writing, I'm planning to compile it for a licensing board report for emotional exploitation and harm (I restarted self-harming and nearly killed myself), but I'm worried she'll leverage those stereotypes within the profession to convince the board that I'm just another "difficult" BPD client.
There are definitely some real messed up therapists out there. She sounds completely dreadful. Sorry you went through that. Sounds like you're clear on her nutso dynamics she put on you at least. Good luck
It amazes me, I worked at a state hospital and the professional teams were so derogatory toward severe BPD. Like we were mandated to ignore this PT at all costs. She was intubated previously and I ordered a soft diet for her due to oral trauma. I was counseled by admin as I was showing her we could be manipulated. " She spent her life eating things, getting her stomach pumped and surgeries, her mouth can't hurt her that bad". I resigned shortly after. Wtf
It's truly disheartening to hear about the lack of empathy and understanding in the professional teams at the state hospital. Your dedication to providing proper care and advocating for your patient is commendable. It's important to stand up for what you believe in, even if it means making difficult decisions like resigning. Keep fighting for compassionate healthcare!
@@DrDanielFox I struggle and hide as best as I can with sx on this spectrum. I don't think kindness and respect is too much to ask. But it definitely reinforces my own fear in disclosing. I have ADHD/ anxiety ....this isn't completely true but it's "socially acceptable" and less stigmatizing in professional circles. Everyone's on Vyvanse nowadays🤦. I will always advocate for my patients- psychotic, ASPD, BPD, dissociative d/o, NPD- I don't care what anyone says- these are all traumatic responses. We just keep inflicting more trauma onto them is essentially validating their negative core content. Sedating humans then discharging them saying their cured is not helpful nor sustainable once discharged. If it was cancer we wouldn't just dish out palliative support meds and not treat the cancer! We wrap around cancer patients providing palliative support, emotional support, home health, education, family support. We would never say "well you have lung cancer- here's some cough syrup, Xanax, and zofran for nausea. Good luck to ya!" Mental illness, especially those with PD, take their own lives daily! Whether direct suicide or "suicide on the installment plan"-aka drug/etoh dependence, od, domestic violence, reckless driving, HIV, hep c. I mean, good gravy! Thank goodness professionals like you are changing the tide! Hopefully a truly trauma informed model of care will emerge in mo/KS soon! Ty!!
It's still hard to draw the line, because most people display not very good behaviors time to time, and narcs are good at mimicry. For me it will take a considerable amount of time to say how toxic someone is, unless they are outright overt and malignant
I was told, that my father did a narcissism test and it was negative and now he is 100% convinced, he can't be a narcissist, just because of his self reporting in one single online test.
My mother is s narcissistic and I only realized this a few months ago. I lived with her for a long time. Now I am trying to reverse the damage. She still dismisses my feeling, yet she is very sensitive
How can you love if you don’t love yourself. When you’re uncapable of seeing others as tbey are and only mirrors people. When you project all the time when you split? I thought I felt love. Ive never had. I needed suply, validation, praize, and the second the other person did one little thing I didn’t like the punishiment began. That is not love. I am in treatment though and I am learning and I hope one day I can build a real bond, respectful relation with someone else.
Hey Dr. Fox this is off topic but its time sensitive. I am in music production school full time. I recently needed to find work. I got a call for an immediate hire. Good news! nope. I started to sob. Why? (I have Adhd BPD ) ( lessening PTSD as far as i know 😊) THANKS
i know this is an old video, but i must ask for knowledge? would you explain the difference between a narcissistic partner, and a narcissistic partner with borderline personality? because i gather one is more challenging, and i'm actually finding it difficult to live with, but i'm not keen on giving up (and apparently neither are they).
I separated from my narcissistic spouse about a year ago. We have 2 children together that we Coparent. Do you have any videos or resources you can recommend for ways I can best help my kids navigate their narcissistic parent?
Childhood emotional neglect and abuse...without self esteem and not knowing how to deal with abuse makes people crazy..imagine being a child. I remember the neglect and smears as a CHILD..From my mother and and two sisters 15 and 19 years older....how do you grow up right in that environment? I consider myself normal..I knew they didnt like my light and me resisting their control...narcissists dont love. They find the ones who want love..their mistake is undermining our truths and our strengths! They rage because you dont comply, they dont want to be bothered with what you want or need..they're very careful who they allow to see their evil forced on their wife, daughter or sister. Cortisol runs rampant until your brain cant take anymore and the adrenals run out of cortisol and aldosterone....all ive known were narcissistic relationships. I went from a healthy pretty 58 year old woman who looked younger..to a 108 lb skeleton in a few months. Cortisol cannibalized my lean muscle..no appetite..Addison's disease..inflammation and leaky gut. I'm a HSP and feel everything deeply..blamed myself for years and disease finally found me and no choice but to keep living in the toxic environment..my ex husband and his mother were narcissists to me..his mother didnt like me and backed up his abuse effecting me..but even til this day, no one believes me..I kept silent about it my whole life til a few years ago when I noticed I felt sick and wired..and no one cared. They're all narcissists in my family. I'll be 65 in August. .have to see endocrinologist then when I get Medicare. I'm self treating..I love Dr Fox..he knows what hes talking about.
He has umpteen videos about that. Look them up. My opinion is narcs are the safest version of a psychopath and borderlines the 'safest' sociopath. Not much impulse control with borderlines. They are all about their feelings and will engage in embarrassing displays, whereas narcs van still have the volatile outbursts, but are mote concerned, in fact, terrified of " keeping up appearances" Narcs have much more of an investment in the outside world and their own place in it, and will react quite horribly if that is threatened. Maybe violence, maybe slander, maybe abandonment. Borderlines don't abandon. They can't.
I am with a narcissist woman I like her company, but she doesn't have empathy she is cold, and she doesn't like intimate sex she is possessive to me she goes with a lot of partners I m aware of her condition put I can't escape her she likes playing mind games with me I don't give a fck anymore I'm waiting till I find something better to escape her
I had hopes that she has bpd but se reminds more of a psychopath 😂. At least if she had some fear of abandonment, I would feel needed a bit,that thing between as is a nightmare
It sounds like you're going through a really tough time. Relationships can be complicated, especially when emotions and mental health come into play. Remember to take care of yourself and reach out for support if you need it.
I have to push back on that splitting perspective and overgeneralization. I don’t believe that there is any one group that falls into a particular category to make up 100% of a particular mental illness.
Рік тому
@@DrDanielFox The more I watch and learn about bpd/npd, the more I see ther is no bpd/npd in women. It is FEMINTY ON THE SPECTRUM. That`s all. I know it is not a popular opinion. But if you add 2+2 then you know it.
Рік тому
@@DrDanielFox So there is no mental ilness among women. It is FEMININITY
"Narcissists are capable of *displaying* loving behaviors". This phrase say it all.
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Wow, I just realized, "Crumbs of love" is actually what they call "Doing their best" so you are grateful for the little bit and admire their effort when it's so "hard" for them. It can look like "empathetically" lowering your standards .
@@3jesus3christ3 well hello. If they are truly doing their best, and their best sucks, their best isn't good enough for me no matter who labels them what. Someone who wants someone to pity them because their best just isn't good enough is... well... pitiful. We don't change a test to be easier for someone who sucks at studying; we tell that person to study harder and if they can't, they fail.
Learning I had a narcissistic parent has helped me heal so much. All these years wondering what was wrong with me when I got 99% instead of the 100%…. I could never grasp why it was never good enough until now. Now I can recognize no one is perfect or “gets the hole in one every time” and that’s what being human is. I am finally free. 😊
My mom was ruined by a narcissist. I barely have a relationship with her. She was my best friend. The only family I had besides the one I created. There have always been issues there because she has ALWAYS chosen men over me, even as a little kid but its the worst it has ever been now. She has ZERO self respect and is obsessed with her narcissist now ex husband. Its rough!
I refrain from loving or feeling deeply for anybody anymore besides animals because of the pain that was caused to me most of the time building something deep just for it to get complicated afterwards...
Or because of exploitative people that just want to break my spirit and not look back on me and kind of just ghost me until I'm forgotten and abandoned once again.
Every time I love something these people consider it a threat and try to destroy anything I love which is completely horrifying and confusing.
Most of my life was made up of bread crumbs and stonewalling and neglect.
I always feel fragmented...
Not easy... It take lots of mental processing capacity , acceptance , reprogramming .
My mom was the most amazing person ever. She has been entirely ruined by a 15 year marriage with a narcissistic a-hole. She has allowed it to ruin her relationship with me, her only child and her grandchildren. Its so sad. She was all we has.
I didn't finish this video yet. The comments have me sad. But I hope you all find people who are charitable and love you how, and as you are. Ego is very dangerous.
Love is a loaded word. It's each person's definition of love that makes all the difference. Some people define love as the ability to control. If they say, 'I love you', it really means 'I control you'. As long as you go along with that, you're a "good boy". Question it, and you're 'rebellious'. Reject it, and it means you don't 'love' them anymore. Yeah. Damn right.
…or that you’re “pushing them away” 🙄
I really appreciate how you differentiated between capacity to love and some of the reasons that prevent the self awareness needed to learn new habits/ methods how to be loving.
I think both of my parents were on the narcissistic spectrum. Both had traumatic childhoods etc.
The language you used gave me permission to acknowledge both their hurtful, painful behavior, and also the reasons why they behave the way they do- in a way that humanizes the experience of dealing with narcissistic people and what persons displaying a more narcissistic orientation/organization are going through.
Thank you
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
This is not the generation for good hearted ppl ❤
As someone diagnosed with NPD and who makes content about living with it, I assure everyone we can genuinely love, at least in our own way. It's more that we can't trust that anyone could love us, so we avoid vulnerability at all costs. Sometimes we rationalize that feeling, but sometimes we're acutely aware of it. I've lost a lot of people who I really cared about because I was not willing to show my love for them out of fear of rejection. I know I made people feel unwanted and unloved, but it wasn't intentional and it wasn't the reality of the situation
I subscribed to your channel and I think your content is really great. I love listening to you and your guests I Come from a narcissist family and have met plenty along the way. My mental health is bad as a result. I have to say that your awareness is impressive and when I watch you, I can't stop but think how your sensitivity and vulnérability IS palpable...things I have never experienced with the narcissists I have met, except when they are manipulating. The emotions you show have another flavour. I must admit I find it hard to believe that narcissists can love... I am a "narcissist magnet"..I am cringing as I am writing that. If you have any content about that, please let me know. I'm all ears. Funny enough, there have been instances when I thought I attracted some because I reprensented a challenge... I do reject them though as soon as the mask slips off. Sending you love from France. Take Care. I'm off to your channel as soon as I am done with that one.
From my experience I would disagree with the klischee, that narcissistic parents always want their children to be perfect and be a straight A student.
There is a conflicting interest of wanting to live out a fantasy of success through your children, but also to feel superior to them and see them fail compared to you, or at least not see them overtake you.
My parents wanted my younger brothers to be successful and get good grades, but wanted my older brother and me not to be too successful.
When I was allowed to be successful, it was under the condition, that I don't get a higher education than my mother and that she can feel responsible for my success, there was only being average with her help, or failing on my own.
Her "help" also wasn't actually helpful, it was just advice that I should work at a supermarket or become a cook, or just putting random job offers from the newspaper on the table/fridge without even looking through them, so I didn't even have the qualifications for most of them, or they were too far away.
It’s only the identified child, not all children. Hope you found the video helpful.
@@DrDanielFox Sometimes npd only has one child. I am the only child of npd mother. It's true there is a conflict there. When I was growing up she had very high expectations and was convinced that I am going to achieve a lot. But when I became an actual adult and really started to achieve things, she became very cold and started to downright verbally compare her achievements with mine stating that she has achieved more. This happens.
Real love comes with a sense of vulnerability. Narcissists can only live within the shallow
This is a fascinating-and important subject Dr. Fox. I have no doubt narcissists are capable of love, but the question to ask when considering a relationship with one is, can they love YOU well. Frequently, the answer is no.
In a narcissistic relationship the love I give has no reciprocity, it is all about her or him and it is devoided of any meaning it feels shallow. I dont miss them neither as friends nor as my family members.
Sounds like you’ve developed some really good insight now can certainly help you not only see your relationships but see yourself within those relationships. I wish you all the best.
@@DrDanielFoxI think I have been subcounsciously attracting people like my parents. I am in therapy and I hope to get rid of these tendencies to learn to recognise ill behaviors and bring to my life healthier folks. I wish more people would go to therapy. Your videos are very helpful, you have a no judgmental aproach which make us feel comfortable. Thank you.
Man, I really could have used this before I stayed 10 months in therapy with a narcissistic psychologist. It's only in the last few weeks (I walked away 6 months ago) that I realized what happened with the help of a fantastic new therapist. What's even more insidious is that she's a trauma specialist working with folks who have BPD and PTSD, which she diagnosed me with.
She abused her power and twisted DBT concepts to explain away our poor rapport as simply a manifestation of my BPD or trauma symptoms. Each time I expressed my feelings and asserted my needs, it resulted in deflection, denial, and reversal of blame. For example, if I used the DEARMAN DBT skill to tell her that I felt angry and hurt when she interrupted my trauma processing to talk about pop culture or gripe about her mother-in-law, she responded by saying that SHE felt disrespected, incompetent, and rejected because of my (overly nice imo) feedback. It was my fight response to trauma (I'm a freezer or fawner...). When I'd ask her to tell me how I could respond more kindly and mindfully, she wouldn't answer. She was "just letting me know" how she felt yet insisted that I needed to validate her too if I was to expect validation from her. She'd suggest that maybe this was simply my push-pull relationship dynamics (which I don't have with anyone but her and my narcissistic mother) and never let go of that theory no matter what I'd say. She'd use whatever vulnerabilities I'd revealed to her to better understand and help me as a weapon in conflict, and she was clear that she expected me to take care of her emotional and ego needs.
She was extremely pushy, undermining my consent and self-determined therapy goals if they weren't in alignment with her opinion. She constantly brought up her worries about clients "ghosting" her and thought I was going to do that too when I'd get rightfully upset with her lack of empathy. She reminded me of how much extra outside work she was doing for me and promised to never abandon me. She broke DBT phone coaching protocol by having absolutely no boundaries or limits, which just enhanced my dependency on her. I felt I owed her for the special attention I was getting. I felt so crazy by the end of it that I started creating written requests to her and making memos to myself to document reality.
During every conflict, I would back off, apologize, and blame myself for my apparent "resistance." And, of course, as soon as I started shaming myself, she'd turn back around and provide me with encouraging words about being kind to myself. It was a total mindfuck that severely damaged my perception of DBT (I thought the techniques were manipulative instead of her) and further deepened my issues with self-invalidation and distrust of people in power.
I still don't have clarity of what my diagnos(es) even is/are anymore. Since we have so much in writing, I'm planning to compile it for a licensing board report for emotional exploitation and harm (I restarted self-harming and nearly killed myself), but I'm worried she'll leverage those stereotypes within the profession to convince the board that I'm just another "difficult" BPD client.
Dang. I'm sorry you went through that. Especially in what was supposed to be a therapeutic relationship.
Pls do report. So much abuse behind closed doors.
There are definitely some real messed up therapists out there. She sounds completely dreadful. Sorry you went through that. Sounds like you're clear on her nutso dynamics she put on you at least. Good luck
It amazes me, I worked at a state hospital and the professional teams were so derogatory toward severe BPD. Like we were mandated to ignore this PT at all costs. She was intubated previously and I ordered a soft diet for her due to oral trauma. I was counseled by admin as I was showing her we could be manipulated. " She spent her life eating things, getting her stomach pumped and surgeries, her mouth can't hurt her that bad". I resigned shortly after. Wtf
It's truly disheartening to hear about the lack of empathy and understanding in the professional teams at the state hospital. Your dedication to providing proper care and advocating for your patient is commendable. It's important to stand up for what you believe in, even if it means making difficult decisions like resigning. Keep fighting for compassionate healthcare!
@@DrDanielFox I struggle and hide as best as I can with sx on this spectrum. I don't think kindness and respect is too much to ask. But it definitely reinforces my own fear in disclosing. I have ADHD/ anxiety ....this isn't completely true but it's "socially acceptable" and less stigmatizing in professional circles. Everyone's on Vyvanse nowadays🤦.
I will always advocate for my patients- psychotic, ASPD, BPD, dissociative d/o, NPD- I don't care what anyone says- these are all traumatic responses. We just keep inflicting more trauma onto them is essentially validating their negative core content. Sedating humans then discharging them saying their cured is not helpful nor sustainable once discharged.
If it was cancer we wouldn't just dish out palliative support meds and not treat the cancer! We wrap around cancer patients providing palliative support, emotional support, home health, education, family support. We would never say "well you have lung cancer- here's some cough syrup, Xanax, and zofran for nausea. Good luck to ya!"
Mental illness, especially those with PD, take their own lives daily! Whether direct suicide or "suicide on the installment plan"-aka drug/etoh dependence, od, domestic violence, reckless driving, HIV, hep c. I mean, good gravy! Thank goodness professionals like you are changing the tide! Hopefully a truly trauma informed model of care will emerge in mo/KS soon!
Ty!!
It's still hard to draw the line, because most people display not very good behaviors time to time, and narcs are good at mimicry. For me it will take a considerable amount of time to say how toxic someone is, unless they are outright overt and malignant
True, time tells but stay objective and true to yourself.
Great video… unfortunately so many people with high narcissistic traits don’t think they need help or anything to work on. Very frustrating
I was told, that my father did a narcissism test and it was negative and now he is 100% convinced, he can't be a narcissist, just because of his self reporting in one single online test.
Your channel is really helping me to understand this condition.
I'm glad to hear that my channel is making a difference for you!
My mother is s narcissistic and I only realized this a few months ago. I lived with her for a long time. Now I am trying to reverse the damage. She still dismisses my feeling, yet she is very sensitive
Thank you so much for your insight
You are so welcome
This was super helpful thank you!!!
How can you love if you don’t love yourself. When you’re uncapable of seeing others as tbey are and only mirrors people. When you project all the time when you split? I thought I felt love. Ive never had. I needed suply, validation, praize, and the second the other person did one little thing I didn’t like the punishiment began. That is not love. I am in treatment though and I am learning and I hope one day I can build a real bond, respectful relation with someone else.
Hey Dr. Fox this is off topic but its time sensitive. I am in music production school full time. I recently needed to find work. I got a call for an immediate hire. Good news! nope. I started to sob. Why? (I have Adhd BPD ) ( lessening PTSD as far as i know 😊) THANKS
Totally agree 🙏 thanks
i know this is an old video, but i must ask for knowledge? would you explain the difference between a narcissistic partner, and a narcissistic partner with borderline personality? because i gather one is more challenging, and i'm actually finding it difficult to live with, but i'm not keen on giving up (and apparently neither are they).
The answer would be too involved to describe here. I do have videos on this distinction you may find helpful.
I separated from my narcissistic spouse about a year ago. We have 2 children together that we Coparent. Do you have any videos or resources you can recommend for ways I can best help my kids navigate their narcissistic parent?
I have several videos on narcissistic parents you might find helpful.
I have 2 of them and bpd. Thanks! And yes! They don’t like each other and divorced. Lmao
The movie Renfield is a fun y depiction of this 😆
Dr can you make a video analogy of Steven Crowder with his wife.
Please clarify the difference between the Narcissist traits (personality) and Borderline Personality. Core differences. Thank you.
Agree. I have some doubts too.
Not even the same thing at all. Narcissists are intentionally evil but give crumbs to keep your attention....borderline are the ones being abused..
Childhood emotional neglect and abuse...without self esteem and not knowing how to deal with abuse makes people crazy..imagine being a child. I remember the neglect and smears as a CHILD..From my mother and and two sisters 15 and 19 years older....how do you grow up right in that environment? I consider myself normal..I knew they didnt like my light and me resisting their control...narcissists dont love. They find the ones who want love..their mistake is undermining our truths and our strengths! They rage because you dont comply, they dont want to be bothered with what you want or need..they're very careful who they allow to see their evil forced on their wife, daughter or sister. Cortisol runs rampant until your brain cant take anymore and the adrenals run out of cortisol and aldosterone....all ive known were narcissistic relationships. I went from a healthy pretty 58 year old woman who looked younger..to a 108 lb skeleton in a few months. Cortisol cannibalized my lean muscle..no appetite..Addison's disease..inflammation and leaky gut. I'm a HSP and feel everything deeply..blamed myself for years and disease finally found me and no choice but to keep living in the toxic environment..my ex husband and his mother were narcissists to me..his mother didnt like me and backed up his abuse effecting me..but even til this day, no one believes me..I kept silent about it my whole life til a few years ago when I noticed I felt sick and wired..and no one cared. They're all narcissists in my family. I'll be 65 in August. .have to see endocrinologist then when I get Medicare. I'm self treating..I love Dr Fox..he knows what hes talking about.
@@pollynunnally5863 But, do you have BPD? Maybe you have CPTSD.
He has umpteen videos about that. Look them up.
My opinion is narcs are the safest version of a psychopath and borderlines the 'safest' sociopath. Not much impulse control with borderlines. They are all about their feelings and will engage in embarrassing displays, whereas narcs van still have the volatile outbursts, but are mote concerned, in fact, terrified of " keeping up appearances" Narcs have much more of an investment in the outside world and their own place in it, and will react quite horribly if that is threatened. Maybe violence, maybe slander, maybe abandonment. Borderlines don't abandon. They can't.
I am with a narcissist woman I like her company, but she doesn't have empathy she is cold, and she doesn't like intimate sex she is possessive to me she goes with a lot of partners I m aware of her condition put I can't escape her she likes playing mind games with me I don't give a fck anymore I'm waiting till I find something better to escape her
They LOVE to CONTROL you and your life, especially if you never say no to them!!! Thats how they love.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Be well
I had hopes that she has bpd but se reminds more of a psychopath 😂. At least if she had some fear of abandonment, I would feel needed a bit,that thing between as is a nightmare
It sounds like you're going through a really tough time. Relationships can be complicated, especially when emotions and mental health come into play. Remember to take care of yourself and reach out for support if you need it.
Really sick of the word toxic bandied about. I have an actual toxic person I'm related to.
If someone is more toxic than others, that doesn't make less toxic people non-toxic.
ypu are describing women (need for admiration) not narcissism. there is no difference?
I have to push back on that splitting perspective and overgeneralization. I don’t believe that there is any one group that falls into a particular category to make up 100% of a particular mental illness.
@@DrDanielFox The more I watch and learn about bpd/npd, the more I see ther is no bpd/npd in women. It is FEMINTY ON THE SPECTRUM. That`s all. I know it is not a popular opinion. But if you add 2+2 then you know it.
@@DrDanielFox So there is no mental ilness among women. It is FEMININITY
@nah. You're just a massive misogynist.