The Power of Introverts - Susan Cain
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- Опубліковано 20 вер 2024
- In an increasingly social world, author Susan Cain argues that we undervalue the power of the introvert at our peril. How can organisations ensure that the best ideas dominate, rather than those of the most vocal and assertive people?
Susan Cain is in conversation with Jon Ronson, journalist, humourist and documentary maker.
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Introverts are some of the most intelligent and wise people, in all aspects.
Yes!!!Thank you!!!
👍
I love her her message is soo inspirational.This makes me appreciate my quiet and introverted nature even more!!!
I like the idea of extroverts and introverts being drawn to each other and helping each other, but not feeling pressure to BECOME each other
I love how her pleading for better cooperation between introverts and extroverts somehow changes into "introvertion is better than extrovertion".
Great video. Introverts and shy people are discriminated againgst in our society (and it is even harder to be a man in our society who is introverted and or shy).
I completely agree with you. And as for being physically worn out, though I love being an introvert, this is one of the hardest parts of introversion and something that extroverts will never really understand. I wish that the energy drain that we suffer with was emphasised more whenever introversion is mentioned, as talking is such a basic, normal, expected part of life but just exhausts us for most of the time. It is such a strange thing to be exhausted by a vital part of life.
She really sounds like Phoebe from Friends :O
What did Lisa Kudrow write?
I'm an INFJ and so glad that such a great video is posted by the RSA. Introverts are definitely under-appreciated.
Very insightful video. Whenever anyone proclaims that I'm 'quiet' I always deny it as I feel ashamed, yet I don't know why I'm quiet. It's very hard for us introverts in a (seemingly) extrovert dominated society!
Smart smart individual. Much respect to her and her empowering book Quiet.
I agree. Unfortunately society has been socialized to think that the more extroverted you are the more charismatic you are seen to be. People dismiss the quiet guy in the corner that only talks sense and flock around the airhead that makes lots of noise that does not make sense.
I am an introvert, I love solitude and am considered Anti-social by peers and family. I'm not ashamed of it, and often find myself "alone in the party". I overheard my mother talking to my father about my "social problems", that was when I finally opened my eyes to myself. I am also considered a geek, or nerd. That is because my escape from school and the public in general. I am glad I could watch this, I am so thankful for my introversion and wouldn't want to be any other way.
Extroverts have more fun, but introverts have more pleasure (read into that what you will)
I kinda like that thought!
and together ;)
+BE Eason (BEEason) Ditto
You have no idea how much I needed to read this. I've realized that I've gone through certain paths in life just to get love from others. Contrary to what I thought it would do, this ruined a relationship I had that had so much potential for both of us involved. I don't know what I'm doing in college, or life for that matter. But something tells me I ended up on this page just to read your comment. Thank you. I'm writing it down, and I hope one day to pass on the positivity I got from this
I'm an INTJ, the Mastermind personality. People with my personality are great leaders and entrepreneurs! And what a coincidence I have my own business! So I agree with you, introverts are greatly under-appreciated!
Don't forget that in your completely valid worldview, there are only two categories of people: extrovert bullies, and wise introverts. Totally legit.
I once heard these: "The quietest of people have the loudest of minds." and "The jollyest of people are more often the most depressed within."
A place to be quiet and think is essential. This is great video thank you !
I love this reply. That's exactly how I feel. To me, the work day mostly feels like I'm just trying to get through it until I can return to the comfort and solitude of my home, where I can finally relax and be myself.
This entire thing we're involved with called the world, is an opportunity to exhibit how exciting alienation can be.
In the fields he specialized in. "Intelligence has been defined in many different ways, including the abilities, but not limited to, abstract thought, understanding, self-awareness, communication, reasoning, learning, having emotional knowledge, retaining, planning, and problem solving." Most of those he qualifies for. Yes.
Usually when people ask me why I am so quiet I reply "I would rather say nothing than speak and say nothing" which tends to piss people off enough to stop asking me naive questions. Most of the time I just dont feel like talking, I would rather read a book, just personal preference.
Synergies between the two personality types is a powerful combination. Each type on their own are fairly usual - but working together creates something great. Thanks RSA for another good vid.
Susan Cain's TED talk video on the "TEDtalksDirector" channel is also great--it's a talk rather than an interview.
Thanks for that great comment! I need to write that down and come back to it often.
I think her main focus is making sure that people understand that the way organizations and institutions are set up often makes it possible to stifle the potential contribution of introverts. Sure, if you want to be heard you need to speak-up, but even then it is possible that speaking up is made more difficult than it really has to be.
I just realised in my previous reply that I said I go home and THEN be myself. I meant that I can fully relax and be my proper self. as you obviously have to be a 'professional' version of yourself at work, as does everyone. I have stopped 'extroverting' at work and now just be my real, quiet self, and I really don't care what anyone thinks anymore.
I love to listen to this woman. I think she is more fun to listen to then most extraverts
It's much the same as the relationship between Optimists and Pessimists. They both have extremely useful roles to play, and are necessary for one another to perform optimally.
The Optimist invented the airplane, and the Pessimist the parachute.
I liked how you mentioned the fusion of an introvert and extrovert can produce immensely great innovations. I'm sure both Steves would be proud! :)
Most Extroverts do pressure introverts to be more outgoing and be more like them...it is exhausting.
I'd recommend "Introvert Power" to anyone interested, I've started reading that since Cain's book isn't available yet. I totally see how society, at least in the US has put so much value to extroversion that it's driving some people mad. I once thought I had social anxiety disorder (which some say isn't a real disorder) simply because I wasn't popular, granted this was middle school but that makes the issue even more important b/c these attitudes are forced on us when we're most impressionable.
I once dated a typical extrovert/ type A personality. That did not last too long. He was needy, kept pressuring me to be assertive, thought I was damn because I didn't have much to say, and wasn't confident enough for him. What he did not realize is I just wanted him to leave me the hell alone so I could think. Oh, and I hated being asked the question, "What are you thinking about?" while I was watching my shows. Sheeesh!
Might I also add that anti-social is often considered synonymous with "socially challenged" or "unable to operate in society". As a matter of fact this is how the dictionary defines it. People can frown upon society or prefer to be alone, but that doesn't necessarily make them antisocial. One can have the skills to socialize and do so when need be, but they may try to avoid this, which is where the term asocial comes into play. You're correct that there is a huge difference between the two.
I grow up thinking that something is wrong with me, but am happy coz now I know who am really am
I'm not sure how a "divine guidance" is relevant in any way, but the take home message is still a solid one. I'm glad you got what you needed from his comment :)
Thank you for pointing out this distinction. From an early age I learned to associate myself with the term "antisocial," and this always made me intensely uncomfortable because I knew the same term was used to describes psychopaths and the like, which I'm not. I'm introverted and I'm also shy, but I don't want to hurt anybody.
You do not have to do what society says you should do. You go out there, be yourself irrespective of what people say, do what you gotta do and come back home to your peace and quiet. Being an introvert does not mean that I am anti-social or I hate to be with people. I love company, but my personal space has to be respected.
People tell me that a lot. It's funny, but people kinda want you to share your flaws with them, it makes them feel more comfortable.
thank you steve w., thank you susan c. your both appreciated and wonderful
Exactly. I am always my cool, calm and collected self even at work or during social situations. Always professonal, not stuffy or aloof though. I relate to folks, I crack jokes and make silly comments, but I don't like to draw attention to myself like extroverts do. I get along really well with extoverts. However, I always seek serenity at the end of the day. I value
She didn't say you shouldn't collaborate. She said in today's environment people are forced to work in groups all the time. It's like when you get off a meeting and everyone's job is decided. But instead of going back to your workstation, everyone stays in the meeting room. There's no room to put your own ideas and efforts into the job. Everyone tries to do their work according to the group consensus of how it should be done. Whatever collaboration is practically lost.
One of my favorite, if not, my favorite TEDs. A good reason to listen to it one more time ^^.
I am a big fat introvert. Guilty as charged. I have been accused by my teachers, classmates, parents, etc.., of being a wall flower, stand-offish, a snob, anti- social...etc. Someone even told me that before they really got to know me and discover what a sweet, gentle, awesome person I was, she thought I was stand-offish because I felt that I was too smart for the rest of them (my co-workers). It wasn't until later that she came to learn that I am an introvert.
Plus, the loud people are the first to have their backs against the wall in a concentration camp. Better to quietly survive the ordeal than to die fighting for a better future. Makes perfect sense.
This is medicine to my soul. I have always been an introvert. I have always blamed myself for being "shy" or "unfriendly" and have suffered at the thought that I supposedly can't talk to the ladies. BULL! :D
Thank you for this!! I always felt very different from society.. This is really interesting!
Saw the video, liked it too. Not a whole lot of new information, but it's nice to see someone speak up for introverts. I'm not much of an extrovert myself.
thanks for your compassion, the same luck for you and your familiy.
I am a lot like you, My comfort zone is when I talk about the things I am interested in, It's very surprising on my part that I have the confidence when talking in front of the class, and like you, I also get praises, however I have little knowledge when talking about math or physics but can talk about music, I think there are different types of introvert in the world and like what people have mentioned here, the internet is such a lifesaving tool. I can be called weird, just not boring.
excellent contribution!! thanks for stepping out, and sharing.
Every RSA video title is more interesting that the next. I'm never gunna leave here am I?
I get in trouble every time one of my aunts comes over because I don't want to sit down and interject in the conversation they are having with my mother... She thinks that I hate all of her sisters because I only say hello, goodbye and the basic conversation needs. Really I just need time to warm up to anyone's presence in my personal space or realm of consciousness before I am comfortable dealing with them in any format. For that matter anything I do I want/need that time to prepare mentally
I value the times when I can be by myself or in a quiet environment. Always been consdered a solo mover/ lone ranger, all through school and college but I have never felt the need to identify with groups. Trying to fit in groups or become more extroverted wears me out physically. I have frends and aquintances, but I just don't feel the need to bug them all the time with empty talk and things I consider insignficant. Never felt the need to make people "kneel down and worship" me.
Thanks for the upload, looking forward to listening to the podcast.
most people are extroverted, because it helps people survive and thrive by helping with social cohiesion. they tend to spin extroversion in a negitive light when its obvious that this personality trait has manafested in the majority of people for good reason. I am extroverted yet I can sit and write alone for hours on end, and love to go inside my head and think, yet i have no aversion to social situations, and love the lime light. balance is key in every aspect of life.
And I agree, I kind of see myself as an ambivert too, who has been thinking for too long that I need to change my introvert tendencies. I wonder how many people would come off of anti-depressants, be happier, etc. if the positive side to being an introvert was valued as much as the positives of extroversion. I think it's a problem that's much bigger in American society than most would initially think, there's just a huge stigma against introversion. I hope these books start a change though
i think Susan was pointing out that people are productive in different ways. Regardless of social flaws people produce differently. wozniak was productive. wozniak also had introverted related tendencies which enabled him to be productive in the way he was
Thank you so much. A voice for what I've learned to do most my life. It seemed the 1960's and 70's , patents told us " go outside bla bla" . I still get that nagging feeling like I should be out more. I just started the dating thing again so I at " least got to meet them" . Lol
I can't argue with this, I happen to agree.
Introverted ppl also have been backbone and creative mind behind philosphy and science
share some of this with your parents to help them understand, I shared with my mom and it helped her understand me a little better :)
LOL, story of my life...my teacher in Kindergarten told my parents I should see a counselor because I was "daydreaming" a lot and seemed preoccupied by something;
I've had people tell me not to dorm in a single room at school because it encourages me to become a hermit (I don't know why that's an issue, lol);
I've always hated having to be in classes where participation goes into your grade, because then I'm spending most of my time feeling pressured to think of something to say/when to speak...
The world is definitely not becoming more social. If anything, genuine human interaction is slowly diminishing.
Thank you for posting this, theRSAorg.
I know an incredibly educated and thoughtful person who is an extrovert..possibly an ambivert who thinks John Lennon was a failure because he never learned to "socialize" well, whereas she thinks Neil Young was a success because he learned to basically overcome his introversion for the most part. It's sad that she judges people that way because it simply is not true. An introvert can be themselves and be quite happy and productive.
yes, instead of cultivating the skill of listening and actually evaluating what's been said we should all be trying to shout above each other. Loudest man wins. Good luck.
No, she said that they might not necessarily have the best ideas in a given situation. They ARE human, after all. She didn't say that they never have good ideas. Only that their ideas are the ones that get the most play, because they're spoken in the loudest, most self-confident voice, and that if an Introvert has a better idea or plan, it's likely to simply be drowned out.
mofine4ever, That's one of the great things about the internet. Your pool of selection is much larger, so you can find people with similar interests and interesting views regardless of the subject. I don't "tweet", nor have a facebook account, but I have friends and acquaintances from literally all over the world.
It should be noted (some people don't know) that the Jungian interpretation of introversion vs extroversion isn't how gregarious or interactive someone normally is, but rather that introverts need to be alone to "recharge their emotional batteries" and relax, whereas extroverts need crowds and interaction to do the same. Crowds and interactions emotionally drain introverts, and solitude is torture for an extrovert.
Oh I'm sorry i didn't mean to be defensive either. That was just me acting extroverted again- alone in my basement haha. I can understand what you mean though. And I'm glad you commented on the video because it helped me prove to myself that I am an ambivert.
Introverts, ambiverts, extroverts... The extremes are drawn to each other... When I think of the people in the middle I think that they would connect with similarly centered people. Still, that dynamic only helps with the flow of information (communication being the tag in point here) I'd like to hear more about why and how one changes along the spectrum.
I wouldn't necessarily call them lesser rather people who dwell in the low levels of their potential, anyway i don't think she is trying to imply a breakoff from extroverts, rather a more significant interaction and recognition of Introverted talents in society in order to balance the overall view that the extroverted is the ideal role-model.
I wasn't making an assumption on a type of people at all, I was merely stating that the extremes of what they are saying is unnatural, would be a death trait in nature, and unhelpful in the workplace.
I am what you described right there (Which i was not saying are isolated people) I like to hang out with my 6 or so close friends and hate going to malls where the lesser of our generation dwell.
You've hit the nail with this one.
I think this discounts the fact that the difference between being an introvert and extrovert doesn't necessarily account for the difference between good ideas and bad ideas.
There are Introverts, Extroverts and Ambiverts. None is 'superior' to another and very successful people are introverted and it's not antisocial behavior. Apparently people are more interested in talking than in listening.
yeah, I see traits of what you're saying in groups of friends. Especially ones that converse on problems as a group, But still conversing and agreeing on something is better than you conversing and agreeing on something in your own head. 2 people are twice as efficient than 1 person.
well not everyone is the same. some introverts need someone who will do the talking for them. maybe you're the kind of person who needs a fellow introvert or someone inbetween who understands your need for quiet alone time
Has anyone else here Read the book Tell the Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt? The main character is basically a description of my thought process as a Child/ teenager, being an introvert was tough and my family moved around a bit. It was difficult making long-term friends.
I just realized that im an introvert. It was a word I never knew it existed.
being an Introvert myself i guess i can describe it with accuracy.
INTP here - I've always said you guys where remarkable! :) I mean how awesome isn't it to have a sharp intellect combined with the possibility to actually finish wh... meh, writing comments is boring. I'll end that sentence later.
Right On! (said quietly and internally :)
I generally like to keep to myself when I can but when I'm in a structured environment like school or work I can be pretty talkative.
wow you said all of that so well, thanks you for making so much so clear.
OK then Collective intelligence is what I'm talking about, I understand there are multiple areas where a person can be 'Intelligent' but I'm talking about collective intelligence, so all traits combined and how each trait works with the other to create a better end product.
we can learn to speak up but it helps if someone else will take the first step. example: (insert introverts name here), do you have any ideas you'd like to share? i find what works best for me is presenting my idea one on one with my leader and letting them introduce it to the group if they think it's a good idea
Extroverts are concerned with becoming their own idol, whereas an introvert is concerned and aware of the ideal.
I haven't even seen the video but I love your comment.
Exactly! "Extrovert" is just a polite term for the brain-dead. Psychopaths are extroverts. Many years ago, I was told that I should "develp the gift of gab". For us introverts, no one is qualified to tell us what to do. Pity to poor extroverts who can talk about nothing but sex, sports, and drinking. Introverts refuse to be forced to join the collective. This is the purpose of public schooling: To train the kids into the group-think collective. No independent thinking alowed.
Being extroverted is no guarrantee of social success...I know more than a few introverts that had more social success than most extroverts ever will.
The point is how charming people find you, not simply how dynamic. And charm mostly comes from how kind(not in sense of polite) you are to them. Of course if we are taught from day 1 how other people suck and how we must make our way to the top by stepping on corpses,it is inevitable that people will become assholes and have a dreadful social life
Still water is like glass. It is the perfect level. A carpenter can use it. The heart of a wise man is tranquil and still. Thus, it’s the mirror of heaven and earth. The glass of everything. Be like still water. You look into it, and see yourself.
(From the original Kung Fu series). :-)
It's all about balance. Think of it as a video game, Social skills being attack and better ideas being defence. It's good to have them about the same. maybe slightly more towards defence though. See what I'm saying? If someone has a high attack but no defence they don't last long in a fight (Intellectual discussion)
And someone with high defence but no attack has the means to last long in a fight but no way to get the damage dealt. so he would also lose. Moderation is key.
But, like she said and like studies have shown, in groups people tend to flock to the opinion of the most charismatic person or change their thinking to coincide with the thought of the group. (see "Groupthink" by Irving L. Janis as an example). If this could be balanced against and corrected so that free discussion could take place without group ostracization, then it is an eye opening experience, but without safe guards in place all people in a group end up thinking the exact same way.
While I agree with a lot of what she says, I dont on the losing site of solitude argument. That must be only true for the workplace, because in modern western society, atomized solitude is the norm. Social groups are small, friendship groups shrink as you get older, and the practice is to pair-bond off and live in a suburban house, in a bubble, unlike a lot of small-scale societies where people really live in a group context.
So living wise, this is not extrovert, its isolated.
THIS SOCIETY NEEDS CHANGE!
Yes, I agree. From a Individuals point of view anyway.
If I think about it from a big corporations viewpoint though. The 'herd-mentality' is what I'd rather have as employee's, At least in a job such as minimum wage retail workers and fast food employee's. But for a more engaging job to do with things ordinary people wouldn't bother with like advertising and management would call for more introverts.
Thankyou for the correction.
Indeed! I am not shy or uninterested.. as people always think :/