Susan Cain Shares 5 Secrets to Building a Career & Networking as an Introvert
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- Опубліковано 11 лис 2013
- Susan Cain, author of QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, believes the power of introverts lies in what many consider their weaknesses. In this interview, she shares key ways to use introverted traits to your benefit in business and life, and discover how to be fully yourself when networking.
Susan Cain is the author of the award-winning New York Times bestseller, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” which is being translated into over 30 languages and was named the #1 book of the year by Fast Company. Quiet was the subject of a Time Magazine cover story and her writing has appeared in the New York Times, The Atlantic, the Wall Street Journal, and many others. Her record-smashing TED talk has been viewed over 5 million times and was named by Bill Gates as one of his all-time favorites. She’s an honors graduate of Princeton and Harvard Law School and lives in the Hudson River Valley with her husband and two sons.
Tune in for Susan’s smart secrets for networking as an introvert, including:
1. How to choose a career or business as an introvert.
2. The magic of setting a quota for social events.
3. The “power of one” rule for networking events.
4. How to harness the power of partnerships in business and in life.
5. The go-to mantra for introverts: When it’s time to fly, don’t deny!
Susan Cain's website: www.thepowerofintroverts.com/
C'mon over to www.marieforleo.com/blog/susa... for more discussion about this episode.
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Ready to harness the power of your introversion? Use these quick links to catch the highlights:
2:01 - Why the world is filled with more introverts than you realize.
5:00 - How Susan overcame her debilitating fear of public speaking.
8:54 - How to choose the right career for your temperament.
10:44 - The magic of making a quota for networking.
12:47 - Susan’s rule of thumb for networking events.
14:45 - The power of partnerships - and finding your opposite.
16:57 - What to do when you hit a wall at social events.
19:04 - How one of the most powerful people in history grappled with introversion.
What’s next? Watch this playlist for more inspiring interviews: ua-cam.com/play/PL4D5277E0F92106D2.html
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Thanks for sharing this. I am an extroverted-introvert. I found my way to mastering networking, which I just shared on my channel with the hope anyone sees and field better.
I got a chill when she renamed networking as "looking for kindred spirits." First time anyone has ever presented that idea. Now that, I can relate to.
Kindred spirits... when I heard that, it just felt so RIGHT.
Searching for kindred spirits opposed to "networking" is so inspiring.
i get so anxious about the idea of networking because I feel like I 'fail' at them for only finding one or two people I connect with. This totally re frames the way I think about it !
Yoo I know right! I guess we tend to be followers rather than leaders. Sometimes when I’m in situations where you have to be creative I come up with various ideas but don’t saying anything but maybe I should you know cause it’s a good chance that someone around me might think my idea is good, you know? 💡
I am an introvert. The strategy that works best for me is not feeling guilty about leaving social events. I thought I was so weird. I could be having the best time at this party, and then just hit this wall and be so over the whole thing. I can become really moody like a toddler fighting a nap. So it is just best for me and everyone involved to leave while it is good. This is also why I can't have houseguest, because I get to a point where I want to kick everyone out. And, I have done it.
I'm the same way. In fact, most everyone that knows me personally knows that I will not stay at an event long if I decide to go. Even last night, I hosted a chat on Skype for like-minded friends through my business, and after 3 1/2 hrs of participating I was like, "I need to say goodnight". My first reaction was to feel guilty because magic was happening with the callers, but I knew that I didn't need to feel guilty and they were all really understanding. So...I totally relate to what you are saying!
it's 2017 as soon as I read your statement "because I get to a point where I want to kick everyone out" i just started laughing Wow I am not the only one who feels that way thank you for sharing :)
Heart of Tarts omg this is ME!
@Brian Jones yeah exactly! i truly feel you!
Lol. Brilliant.. I hear you. I’ve had to leave my family laughing for all hours ever since I was a teenager, it’s taken me to my forties to discover I am an introverted being. But I love it.
I love Susan Cain. I really think we need a civil rights movement for introverts as she suggests.
*Introverts, unite!* _(Individually)_
Alma Mazziotta lol. I loved that. Unite.... Individually.
takiyla77 At home. Alone :)
Or each in a separate floatation tank :p
***** loool Good one!
😅
loved the idea
As a young child in elementary school, at the end of the day when legions of children streamed out of the schoolyard, running and shouting & just expressing exuberance, I would move away from it all and walk alone through a forest where there was a stream and a log I crossed to place me into nature where there was quiet. I am still that person today making my way in the world as an adult introvert. Cain's assertion that introversion is a gift of observation & sensitivity to life is something valuable and worth remembering.
Wow, Susan Cain nails it again! As an introvert, I've always felt like my quiet nature was a disadvantage in my career and networking. But this video showed me that embracing my introverted traits can actually be a superpower. Thanks for the awesome tips, Susan!
YES! Embracing your natural gifts is one of the best things you can do. There's room for introverts to network and grow in their careers. There's room for you 💗 - Monauar, Team Forleo
Thank you for creating such an awesome book, Susan Cain. I was a cabin crew for my first job and I absolutely hated it. I was forced to socialize so much during training, and my classmates still wanted to hang out after lessons. Even the VP commented that introverts are not suited for that job. Just when I was feeling like an oddball in an institution I don't belong, I went on an research on Quiet and it totally made me rethink and reframe my introvertion. I hope the next generation of introverts never have to grow up the way I did.
I found Susan Cain's talk a few days ago and it has removed a lifetime of guilt of not being "social" enough. I find myself really good at conversing with one or two people but hard to "mingle" with everyone in the room at a social event. Thank you Susan for making me realize that there are others like me and there's nothing wrong with me. Surprisingly I am OK with public speaking as long as I have practiced heaps and heaps ;)
I am an introvert myself. The insight that resonated with me is that I am very observant which makes me more perceptive of others. I am very sensitive and compassionate as well. I also prefer intimate settings opposed to crowds. I also believe I have a quiet strength that many people don't see because they see timidity as a weakness. I believe because we, introverts tend to be more introspective, we have more of an acute awareness. We hear more and see more. I prefer to step out of the canvas to get a full view of the picture.
I am desperately waiting for that day when the bias and stigma of introversion would be completely eliminated, and introverts would be able to feel proud for who they are and finally breathe in workplaces especially.
That will be a while for now. I still have the question "why are you so quiet" asked
Let’s not wait, let’s be part of the change!
never gonna happen
Yep Covid was horrible but it definitely kept all of the loud mouth extroverts in the house.
@@theblackswan3757 hi ,I m facing social rejection
Countless gems in this one! Why would you struggle when you could partner with your compliment? YES! Kindred spirits come together. Thank you for this!
One of the best ways to start a conversation in any gathering or with an individual is to say you're an introvert. That seems to make it safe for others to confess that they are too. There are many of us!
I'm an intovert attorney. I just went to a social happy hour where there were over 20 people. It was such an effort to commit to going and the main reason I did was because one of my close friends was going too. My friend had to leave early and I was so anxious just thinking about who am I going to talk to now?! I managed to stay a while longer talking mostly to one other person I met there and someone I knew from work. I always feel bad aftreer going to a social event because I generally only speak to one or two people...I feel like I failed because I didn't mingle more. So, I really liked the kindred spirit idea. I will think about that now and hopefjlly not feel so bad when I don't talk to everyone in the room
I'm the same way. I might actually say hello to a few people and ask how they are doing. But more times than not, I stick to the people I'm most comfortable with. When I'm not comfortable with someone, I get so awkward trying to figure out what to say and do next to the point that I start imagining they are likely offended by me or think I'm really weird. The funny thing is that a lot of people think I am an extrovert because I'm really playful and friendly. Haha, I'm not an Extrovert but a fairly Social Awkward Introvert who apparently comes off as uptight because I skip out on a lot of social events due to my introversion. I seriously feel bad about not going to a social event or wanting to leave early because I feel so drained or awkward.
I like the Kindred Spirit idea as well.
I needed to see this video. I'm such an awkward duck when trying to Network but I want to Network and meet new people.
I hate making phone calls ...
Brian Jones I'm terrible with small talk in general. My conversations with strangers or acquaintances mostly end awkwardly every time, either because the conversation ends very quickly after we say how we are doing or I share information that's too intimate/honest about myself.
@@MasterAppels im so glad im not allone
Hate phone calls too!! really hate it!
I totally agree with being yourself on stage... so myself is actually whom I am in my mind... and I comfortably slip into it, when I'm on stage talking and the freight kicks in...
So true
Instead of thinking about meeting everyone present, think about looking for kindred spirits. Great advice.
I like "accept all invitations, but leave early." Thank you so much!
I think the profound point that I often missed is the mindset not to be guilty. Because soo often I got exhausted from engaging in social activities. I am an introvert came from a small family and my fiancee is an extrovert who has large family and friends. I wondered if it's gonna be fine. Turns out from this session, it's really normal and even such an inspiring person as Susan just have to set a quota herself. But she keeps delivering.
So what I pick and apply into my life from now on is : don't be guilty, just do what you have to do (leave early/ or hang out for a while), and after that you could re-engaging with people again. Don't dismiss your needs. Thank u Marie! I would want to get to read Quiet after this.
I really like the strategy (or should I say, acknowledgement) that in every 'networking' event, it is okay to talk to one (and only) person that we really feel connected with. There is this pressure I always have that I don't communicate well enough unless I talk to lots of people in a social event. It always ends up with me feeling drained and in extreme cases, depressed for a while afterwards.
I'm introverted, but I never liked that about me, so I went on a sales rampage where I forced myself into people skills and now I consider myself an AMBIVERT (equally extroverted and introverted)
I can be both, but I always recharge in solitude.
Make a quota. That one definitely is my favorite. I find that when I make quotas in life, whether social or otherwise, I end up feeling much better, and more energized overall.
I'm contemplating starting a small business and it's wonderful to hear that introverts can succeed in business too. Thank you for normalizing this personality trait. I can so identify with the 2 hour limit. I rarely find a person or group I want to talk to for more than 2 hours!
I'm so glad introverts are finally being understood. I remember growing up and constantly being told that I needed to open up more and take part more in school events. Once a teacher put alot of pressure on me to do a talk in a school assembly, and I'll never forget how overwhelmed I felt when I got on the stage, I literally broke down into tears.
I eventually learned to 'fake it' in some situations, but even when I'm 'faking it' I can feel the build up inside me where I know I need to make a quick exit. Something else I've learnt to do on the sly ;)
TherapyTeeVee just my opinion but I think being introverted and being shy are completely different (although there tends to be overlap). I think being shy is something that we do need to be pushed out of and get over. Everyone has there shy moments, especially when put on the spot, but I *personally* think it's unhealthy to be shy all the time. When I was shy, it was because I lacked confidence in myself. Over time, I started to believe in myself and trust myself more. So I wouldn't consider myself to be shy overall, but I'm still definitely an introvert
Lmao thats nothing the teacher sent me the youth welfare office because she thought i have problems or even thought i have a dosease because i didnt like to talk a lot
Finding the extrovert to my introvert in my business instead of using all my mental stamina/energy to do it all.
Thank you! This segment was very helpful!
I clicked on this video I thought "by accident" but I am so thankful that I did. My professional life requires me to speak on a regular basis. I enjoy transferring knowledge, however, I HATE speaking in 1:1 settings. I often wondered why I was so happy being quiet and alone at the end of each day. This video cleared up a lot for me. I want to thank you for recording and airing this!
You've convinced me to watch this. I've found that I prefer group settings rather than having to speak 1:1.
*Makes note to watch this later*
Marie and Susan- thank you , thank you, thank you! for letting me know that I am not abnormal. I am the sole introvert in a family of argumentative extroverts. I work in a super talkative - high decibel cubicle environment, My team of extroverts love back to back meetings that accomplish very little and are essentially social gatherings. These meetings are often dominated by the the loud and verbose, mostly with "filler talk". So I REALLY look forward to making US workplaces Introvert-friendly.
I loved this show. I like to think of networking as "connecting" with people. "Networking" sounds so impersonal. I love connecting with people. The concept of seeking out kindred spirits resonated so much with me.
Melissa Salinas Hi
Best part for me was connecting with a kindred spirit, going to these kinds of social events may just become more enjoyable rather than a marketing scheme :)
When I am drained by people and/or small talk...I just walk away. I think that comes with age, where you just don't really care ow others handle things...you just do what you need to do.
***** yiyiuiuyujjiuhhhhhjjjjiiiiiiiijiiiiiiijkm99ayega gujarat joijiiuii98k9k0
Wow..felt relieved to hear this and understood. I am a introvert and when going to parties, I would shrink away from the big group of people and be found in the kitchen with the other introvert and breathe sigh of relief. I do like my quietness and I finally realised that my strengths are what bring certain people to me..extroverts who want to talk about their problems. I find this frustrating at times and want to be heard but I think there is a lot of value in being quiet. Thank you so much. I want to read you book.
The power of one and rule of thumb for networking resonates with me.
"kindred spirits" LM Montgomery reference (another well known introvert) SUSAN CAIN I SEE YOU
Susan cain´s work has changed my life and in a way saved it I wish there was something I could do to be a part of this awareness racing
Susan Cain is truly a champion of the underdog and is doing great work building awareness around accepting, understanding, and embracing introverts. Thank you Marie Forleo for bringing her message and stories into your incredible community. Keep inspiring!
Susan is sensational. Her Talk on TED is my favorite!
I'm having a total epiphany... for sure as a child I was an introvert and there was a moment in time - a very specific one - where I felt I needed to be more of an extrovert if I wanted to be "successful" in life. While I'm glad I took the steps at the time to put myself out there in public speaking type things.... I realize that what I do for a living, since I'm really an introvert, taxes me soooooo much. I'm looking forward to reading Susan's book. I will be implementing the quota idea - I totally agonize over the invitations to attend events - and I get why that is.... because going with the intent to work the room is a lot of pressure. thank you for having this episode. I almost didn't watch it, because I am an introvert who has trained myself to live as an extrovert.... huge light bulbs.
Yep, it seems to be "the way" we have to be Mandy Cellar Nobles --- but it seems Susan Cain is helping to make some changes. I've gotta go look up her TEDx talk!
What I want to comment is that This video is awesome. I love it. The learning...
1. Kindred Spirit
2. Develop other powers that compliment your Shyness
3. Show up following Quota
4. Shake the world gently [Mahatma Gandhi]
Thanks Susan Cain (Y)
there is difference between shyness and introversion.
I'm an introvert: the thought that resonated most with me was connecting with one kindred spirit because I feel like making one phenomenal connection is ten times better than uncomfortably or awkwardly talking to a bunch of people.
I am an extreme introvert, so this was really insightful and helpful
Thanks Marie for this video. For the longest time I've been following you and loving all of your videos. But this time decided to write and tell you how grateful I am to you. I always felt out of place (used to be so shy and" leftie" in a "righties" world ) now I know the reason. Thanks to Susan Cain for opening the door for so many of us. To both of you thanks from this 68 year old for Awakening The Entrepreneur Inside!!!!
OMG how have I missed this video in all of my Marie-time?! #1 point I took from this "Make a connection" instead of networking. For my work I go to huge networking shows and events, I hate forcing myself to go and have 100 shallow conversations. I would rather have 10 quality. I truly value that this philosophy can be validated by other people!
I really love the tought of finding one interesting person in a networking event and enjoying that person's presence rather than trying to meet as much people as possible. I think it's true that these few but important new relations will benefit you a lot more in your life than knowing a ton of people that you don't really know a lot about. Also I loved the idea of considering our personnality and our side (introvert vs extrovert) when it comes to choosing our career and opportunities in life. We think to often about salary and status, when we should think more about our needs, our strenghts and the best way to use our strenghts.
It's kind of comforting that a lot of media practitioners are actually introverts. I'm currently in my 3rd year of studying journalism and, at first, i thought that my passion for writing and research is enough. Since first year, i felt really uncomfortable because everyone are very extroverted and the few introverts handle their selves very well. I really wanted to work in the media industry someday, but i got anxious every time i think that i'm not a people person and i need to become one if i really want to succeed in my dream
Thank you because this episode teaches me I'm not weird, I just don't accept myself and judge me too much.
I'm definitely an introvert, when I try to be extrovert, I say things that just come out from nowhere, and then I feel bad for not being at ease with me and not allowing to be myself.
Point 5 is great for me, because it releases the pressure. Thanks Marie.
I love how Susan talks.
I am an introvert, and I have accepted that long ago despite the fact that people tell me I should become an extrovert. To me it's ridiculous, it's like telling me to become someone else.
The insight that I found most interesting was that we can leave a party or meeting early. I never thought of that but I realized it's true, after a while I start getting bored or anxious out of nowhere or I feel stomach pain sometimes, and when I come back home it's such a relief. I'm going to apply that in the future . Thank you Marie and Susan :)
This was a great interview! I do get nervous talking in front of others I'm I always feel bad that I observe most everything in the room!
I love the framing of networking as finding kindred spirits - it feels so much more authentic.
I think it would actually also be more productive for someone like me who can behave extroverted but doesn't tend to portray their 'true self' during those interactions.
Thanks to both of you beautiful ladies :)
I am 52 y/o and I am getting realized that I am introvert! I feeling happier after I reconized and accepted it. Thanks for the video.
I love the idea of looking for kindred spirits!! It feels so much more comfortable interacting with others when you have someone there to "support" you even if they're just there.
FOMO- Fear of missing out. I used to immensely struggle while deciding whether I want to attend a public gathering or not. Gradually I realised being someone I am not, is not worth it for me. So now when I absolutely have to attend a gathering or event, I find my one (Saviour) person and enjoy the evening. Thanks for the Video. I just came across your channel and I appreciate what profound insights it provides. Kudos.
i just listening to the interviewer's voice over and over again, she's so elegantly expressive. it kinda helps me express myself mor by trying to copy her
I'm a hairdresser, and although I love my clients and doing hair, it can be very draining for me because I'm also pretty sensitive to other people's energy. So, when I'm done for my day, nothing sounds better than going straight home and turning off. However, I def want to start putting myself out there more because I do want connect with more people, but whenever I'm around more than 4 or 5 people, I start internally freaking out. No one ever knows because it's something that I have trained myself to mask most of my life, but I don't want to feel like that anymore. So, I really liked the tip about finding kindred spirits when you are out at events. I will give that a shot next time I have to go be around a lot of people! Thanks for the tips!
I loved the "when it's time to fly, don't deny". Pure gold.
I am an introvert, and the one point that really got me was ALL of them! :) this episode has been so enlightening since I always thought I had to be an extrovert in order to succeed and it really drains my energy. I am so happy to have found out about this and feel so much more confident knowing that introverts can really make a difference without converting into something we are not.
My heart is fluttering - not with nervous energy - but because I am not alone with these feelings of wanting and NEEDING to be alone to create! One of the tips that I will use starting today is: Creating a Quota System. I love this idea, and it doesn't make me look like a party-pooper! We a Quiet Revolution . . . Thank you Marie & Susan
love the kindred spirits one and the regimented one to make less decisions! i love getting to make the decisions but its exhausting especially on top of work!
Wow ! What an incredible collaboration. I 'm so grateful and appreciative to Marie Forleo for hosting Susan Cain. Her Ted talk was so inspirational to me and I loved hearing both of you in a interview and conversational medium.
As someone who also feels incredibly drained by over-socialization as well. I love the suggestions you offered at the end about gracefully leaving a party or networking event early, but always showing up.
i love it! I'm an introvert so i know how it feels like being in a huge party with no one to converse with, like you're in a wrong world but you have to be there but after watching this episode i realized that i have to change it. and i got some useful tips... like what Marie said practice public speaking slowly by slowly like you can have your teacher and your parents as your listener and slowly you can build your strength, next is make a quota ..i love this tip . now i'm creating my event-list for this month and the last one is the quote that was mentioned by Susan "in a gentle way you can shake the world" that moves me, i appreciate how she lives by that motivating quote and how she describes gandhi from being introvert to extrovert. thumbs up!
She is great. Loved her TED talk. I need to read this book, for sure. Introverts can be very powerful in their own right. I can definitely relate and have worked very hard to overcome fears in social settings. Now I'm able to do so much, knowing that I can be impactful no matter what.
Yes, I have long thought that so called "extroverts" actually just deal with the same problems we have and feelings of unworthiness or not being good enough etc. in a different way than we introverts do - but they do seem to have the same and/or similar problems; so I'm glad you brought up this points because that makes it clear to people, and also shows that I was not wrong.
Often bullies actually feel as insecure as the people they put down - but they deal with it in this way that they try to make them selves feel more secure by putting others down instead of making them selves feel stronger and finding their own strengths or changing their beliefs. I'm glad I was never one of them.
Knowing there are people out there that are so giving and compassionate and intelligent gives me loads of hope! I know I’ll find a way to find these incredible individuals for myself - my soul family.
I appreciated the good advice that you as introvert should "hurry up slowly." :)
In a gentle way; you can shake the world.
Truth.
I am such an introvert. I don't like big parties or being around big crowds. After I perform on stage I need time to myself. I'm so glad that I am not the only one who hit's the wall at parties. Lol. I can last about 2 to 2 1/2 hours and then I am done.
The one strategy that resonated with me was connecting with that one kindred spirit. I always felt like I had to meet everyone and talk to everyone at a party, but doing that made me feel tired and drained. I think I will take the advice of finding those kindred spirits in life that I really contact with. Thank you for this video and I will definitely read this book. :)
Genius on so many levels! I see now that I hesitate putting myself out there because I thought I had to be a partygirl extrovert to do it. The Quiet revolution is a revelation. Why wasn't I watching these videos sooner?
Very good discussion about being an introvert and making a difference!
it is really great to know more about yourself and how to embrace who you are . I have been introverted since my childhood but i could not be happy with myself until I fully understand my type of personality and who I am. You do not need to change yourself and be something else just try to educate yourself on how to be comfortable with your own skin and strive to be a better version of you .
I love this book, and have been able to recommend it to others!
Funny thing is, everyone says they're an introvert. I'm an introvert - there's zero doubt - and I recognize that all these people aren't introverts. I mean, yeah, there's a spectrum, but lots of these people are just normal middle-spectrum folks. Not a big deal, I'm just not sure what's going on with that.
I loved Quiet. It's amazing to realize how your introverted nature can actually be a blessing. As for the strategies... I'm what Quiet describes a Low Self-Monitor (which, for me, means I have a major issue with being a pretend extrovert, even for short periods), and I have extreme Social Anxiety, so I resonated most with the idea of having a business partner who could take care of things that I was not comfortable with. I'm planning on self-publishing a universe of YA Fantasy novels, and I worry a lot about what I'll do when one is finished. I have no idea how to market a book on my own. It would be great if I had someone, who was comfortable with marketing, who could help me with that.
It's like a balm for the soul to hear someone say their shyness is their strength. While I've grown out of most of my shyness, I was so shy growing up and remained introverted and I strongly believe accepting myself makes me strong.
I'm in the beginning stages of creating a business for myself and just recently I've been coming to terms with the fact that I'm an introvert and that its OK! I, like most introverts, hate the idea of networking but when Susan said we should instead look for kindred spirits my heart lit up! That's by far the most brilliant thing I've heard plus it makes meeting people a WAY less daunting task! Thanks so much for this post!
Finally something for introverted and shy people.
I connected most feeling down by two hours of it need for recharge time. Thank you for sharing. Shall use the tips in the video.
Namaste!
I really appreciate this. I'm an introvert in real estate. It's so hard for me to pick up the phone, to go to a networking or group learning event. But I need to figure it out in order to succeed in my career.
I loved the way Susan put her views about the word Networking. I personally felt many times that the word Networking seems so superficial and cold. "Be who you are and re frame things outside accordingly without losing the true YOU " these words make me feel that I am not alone and it's not a downside to be introvert rather it's a quality which the world really needs right now. This improves the collective consciousness promoting greater good . Great work Susan and thank you Marie.
Introverts have such a 'Quiet Power' that is such a wonderful way to influence and lead in their own way! I know with working with 80% of my clients who are full-on introverts, they've always felt misaligned 'doing business' in ways that just make them feel icky. We all should be using our strengths + genius zones only we can provide! Thanks for another great video interview, Marie :)
The networking principle is something I need to work on; I would just blaze through the room trying to collect business cards like merit badges. And the most important one I need to work on is how to gracefully exit social situations; I would just leave after feeling the breaking point approaching. Thanks for uploading Marie.
I liked Susan’s comment about doing smaller events first and looking at people in the audience who are engaged and supportive. That has really helped me with singing. One small start for me is uploading my songs on UA-cam in audio with a picture until I feel more confident about videos.
Great episode! I'm reading Susan's book.
Loved this video. Comes at a perfect time while finishing my book and self starting my own business. I think the one thing that resonated with me is "Choose your business/career wisely". If I had done this when I first started out, I could have saved myself years of aggravation. I always looked at the office and the company and the paycheck and the insurance - but never the quality of the work. I ended up being an assistant all my life - when I was never "built" to work in an office assisting people. My work was sub-par most of the time with company drones - above average with open minded, entrepreneurial bosses. I've always loved quiet and contemplation, and find myself rattled by some of the people I had chosen to work with/for. Just coming to this realization is my first step toward a better life. So, I'm writing and self publishing now. Wish I could have done this sooner.
Thank you for this discussion. Listening to Susan's perspective has helped me to feel okay with being an introvert. I work in an corporate firm that really appreciates extroverts and I'm not sure I will be able to advance and be promoted without acting more like an extrovert. I have an upcoming networking event that I have to go to for work, needless to say I'm not looking forward to it, but I will try to find a "kindred spirit" as suggested and hopefully that will allow me to make it through the event.
Thank you soooooooooo much for this video! I absolutely love you Marie because I can feel that you are genuine. Everything Susan Cain said resonated with me and I can't wait to go out and buy her book tomorrow. Seasons Greetings
I feel that I'm both extroverted and introverted because I definitely enjoy shows, large parties and gatherings of people, but I'm terrible at starting conversations, remembering names, and I shake like a leaf when presenting a paper. I don't like being alone for very long. This video came my way at an excellent time, being that I'm having hard conversations with my partner about the future of our relationship, and I'm finally taking the time to learn more about his depression, and deep introversion. Its true that his kind nature, and thoughtfulness, are part of his introversion and what I love about him, and I need to accept and cherish him for that, not take his withdrawn nature as anything personal against me. I want to help him manage his depression, and love him for, and identify with, his introverted side. Its important to not lump the two together, or make someone feel guilty or depressed for their introverted nature.
Thank you for the advice on working the room and setting quotas. I never realized that I have always just been trying to find that one person to have a conversation with, or a kindred spirit, mentor figure to collaborate with on my mission to change the world. It really takes the pressure off putting yourself out there, if you don't feel obligated to speak to everyone. I feel less scared to attend a group meeting or conference event now considering this, and see how they could really open doors for me.
I love the idea of setting a quota for social events and then finding the one person to connect with. I seriously struggle with social events so much so I try to avoid them completely.
Hell yeah! I am currently reading Susans book AND I practically sat here waiting for your video Marie... (sort of)
Love from Lene, Denmark
Ps. You changed my life...Thank you!
Thank you so much Marie for bringing Susan to your show. I am an introvert but the world sees me as ac extrovert. i am just proud to be an introvert.
I am not completely an introvert, but some aspects of introversion really resonates with me. Absolutely adored Susan Cain's book by the way! I think what I like the most about this video is to alleviate pressure, to not force myself to fit society's image of extroversion, and mainly to value my own temperament; basically, to not feel guilty for something that I am not. Thank you so much for this video!
I am so happy that you covered this topic! I like to call myself a performer... when I have a stage performance or a business presentation or an interview, I can be very very good - what I do mentally is turn on that performance charm and smile... but then when I need to sit with clients the whole day and talk to them or go to big parties where I dont really know most people and I am supposed to "network" with them, it kiils me! I thought this was rare cause I know u can be an introvert or an extrovert or an ambivert... but did not know there were more like me who could go from performing like an (sometimes better than an) extrovert to being a person who likes his own space. Its good to know we r not alone :)
As an introverted entrepreneur, I most resonated with reframing networking as opportunities to seek out kindred spirits. Phew! I am filled with relief after this mini-ah-ha. Also, coming up with a quota system for the frequency of socializing/networking is a GREAT idea. No more feeling bad about declining invitations-I'll go where I want, when I want-predetermined by my quota. Woohoo! Thank you, Susan and Marie!
Marie, your channel is very very helpful, your conversations with guests are always on point and practical.! Thank you alot !
Love this episode. I am very much an introvert and a shy one at that. Two things that really resonate with me. One is Susan's "year of speaking dangerously" what a genius and doable commitment to conquer that fear. And two was looking for one kindred spirit to "network with" this can make it seem like making a new friend rather than the dreaded "I have to mingle". I am ordering Quiet today, can't wait to read it. Thank you for another great episode.
This video clears up so much for me and makes me feel like being an introvert is OKAY lol. I'm going to embrace it a lot more now. Love Susan Cain, she's extremely helpful
I loved this. Thank you for this. It confirmed so much of my thinking as an introvert. Also, I love how Marie is a host with an ability to listen well. A big trait that quietly allows this show to have depth . Thank you.
best part of the show was about the public speaking for introverts part and how Susan dealt with it...and then the news there might be some type of lessons on how to deal with public speaking that she is working on.
I am currently a lecture on Business English.I have shown this video to my class was we were discussing on networking and how to relate to people in a social setting.The conversation was very impact and most of my students who were shy of public speaking gained more tips on the value of being "quiet' and yet able to communicate and relate effectively
I'm glad I watched this video. I'm an introvert with an anxiety disorder so I always thought I was weird. Now I know I'm not and that made all the difference.
I'm a introvert. I recently had job to be on a youth panel speaking about mental health and addiction and i was so nervous that you can tell with how i spoke. I definitely understand what Susan said about focusing on the people resonaning with you. once I looked at some people who didn't, I got kinda discouraged but after I was done alot of people adressed me and thanked me. It felt great, got a great confidence boost.
I swear I just had this conversation with a dear friend this past weekend who is a bonafide extrovert lol. Great tip for introverts like me. I love the idea of connecting with kindred spirits instead of networking. love it!