The Secret Power of Introverts: A Quiet Revolution | Forbes
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- Опубліковано 20 вер 2024
- Susan Cain, author of Quiet, says a cultural bias against introverts leads to wasted talent. She predicts a groundswell of the 50%.
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Listening her talk I get a very rare feeling of someone understanding and supporting me.
Meee to
I am an introvert and almost all my life it was required of me to be an extrovert.
I had to learn how to "act" as an extrovert but I was never happy or myself and of course not so good at it, for it was artificial and not naturally coming out of me.
I am who and what I am and I have learned to accept myself as such. I love it.
one of the differences between "extroverts" and "introverts" is that the latter are far more likely to know the definitions of both words.
I'm an Introvert, INFP to be a lil more precise. The humans that's able to spend more time with themselves can learn a lot more about themselves, when you learn about yourself - you learn more about understanding the personality of other humans. In all my experience with extroverts, they seem to just not get things - at all.
And... that is my dad. I myself am an INFP too my friend, still dealing with the prolonged oppression from schools with their boisterous "teamwork". Why does are culture promote SO MUCH assertiveness! Let us claim our rightfull place in America by not leting our society stomp us out anymore no matter where one is!
this is sooooo true, they just don't get things.
Extroverts can be very judgmental on people that are introverts. I experienced that they seem to always want to change us into more of a party goer, stop being so shy, quite, etc. Nobody should try to change you and there's nothing wrong with not wanting to be around a lot of people. Going to parties to me is exhausting & stressful. It's much better with a small group of friends. You are who you are & nobody should have to change to fit in.
I'm not bitter, but this 'co-worker' was my supervisor, also. She was younger than me and her personality was like one of those junior high school mean girls. Having to interact with her daily for years was torture. Of course, this wasn't because she was an extrovert, it was because she was an idiot. I've noticed over the years that introverts tend to be nicer and more thoughtful. Extroverts can suck the life out of you in an effort to have something, anything, new coming into their brains.
she is so beautiful! i love that she speaks out for us.
She is right. Introverts are just as powerful as extroverts because while some extroverts are chatting with other extroverts, usually not doing anything productive besides chit chatting about the latest gossip or something; introverts are kept to themselves, doing what they want to do, and usually learning by means of reading a book or interacting in some way with the environment around them. I am an introvert myself and I find it ridiculous how some extroverts take introverts for granted.
I love the Meyer-Briggs test! I managed to get my whole family to take the test, and they all found it quite profound. My brother is also an INFJ, and I am an INFP. Your comment made me smile. :)
When I'm able to find a quiet place to think, it often brings me back to how we are all connected, so yes and no.
I remember my freshman year of college when a guest Nutritionist/Dietitian spoke to our freshman biology orientation class about science-related careers, specifically her own. What stuck with me was that, by her own admission, she was naturally an introvert who was "forced" to play an extrovert's role as a requirement for her job. She actually admitted this to us and that was when I realized how extroversion was so highly exalted and preferred in so many aspects of American society.
Introverts get annoyed with small talk. Especially if it's superficial small talk.
"Groundswell of the 50%" is an understatement: I'd call it an "introvert backlash"! All over the internet (including right here), I'm seeing introverts vent a TREMENDOUS amount of anger and frustration about how extraverts have marginalized and stereotyped them. Unfortunately, extraverts' response has been to dig in their heels, and call us names right back.
This is so true. Deep down, I do feel some kind of "secret shame" at not being very socially engaged and I'm trying to train myself to be more assertive (so that I won't get taken advantage of) but I really shouldn't feel this way.
I'm a Londoner & an introvert. I've lost count of the times I've been given grief for not being as open and eager to socialise as often and as intensely as some others do. I've had extroverts try to pressure me into entertaining them even when I've politely made it clear that I need some time alone. These individuals weren't trying to be mean, but the negative effect they had on me was significant. I'm glad your experiences are more positive, but please you do not speak for everyone.
"Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth." -Alan Watts
Show me someone who has learned more by talking than listening.....me, I'll keep on keeping it to myself.
this has made me very happy.
Love what Susan is saying...
This warms my Introverted heart!
Thank you for posting this, forbes.
I now love my introvert-ism :-)
I'm 50/50 intro/extro. It's hard not to feel guilty about wanting to be on my own. People don't get why I don't have a posse of friends, but I honestly don't need that! I have many 'friends' who I can call on, but I often like to lock the door. Adversely, I am very chatty, a confident, funny speaker and can act the clown, but I never want to stay in any of these states for long periods.
I also like small spaces, like a cat loves a box, I like small rooms etc.
My advice? Be who you are, drop the guilt, stop people pleasing, it's never harmed me!
Thats exactly how I feel!!!!!!
Excellent interview. I totally want to read your book now, Sarah, considering I am introverted too! :D
exactly, don't complain just be your best self
see, that's just the thing ... introverts don't "rock" ... we just roll peacefully.
Having spent many years in the Film and TV industries and working with many artists, designers , actors and creative talent like myself (I'm an introverted extrovert), I've found that the most talented and most powerful on set or stage are introverts. Why? Because, they keep their life-force within them as a cauldron of simmering energy with long-lasting effect. Extroverts have a tendency to, "flame-out" on set or stage first after a long shoot or performance. I hire introverts as talent.
The interviewer is an extrovert! lolz.
I think we should have a worldwide meeting and discuss our plans to take over the world. I'm serious.
This video is very encouraging :)
She's amazing!
I've noticed whenever I go out somewhere where there's alot of people, I just feel absolutely drained when I come home. And this book has helped me to understand why- because introverts have a less acute need for stimulation. It's helped me learn so much about myself, and to come to grips with it.
My son is a introvert, and is pretty sad to see some part of the family calling him wire .
+rafaela espinoza Most extroverts said stupid things or said the same things over and over again. Maybe your son get bored with that BS.
I consider myself an introvert but I like parties, rock concerts, festivals ect. External stimuli.
I often think this. And I'm just as serious as you. I'd love to see exactly how extroverts would function without us. Because we do so much, so quietly, with no fuss, and most of what we do 'behind the scenes' goes unnoticed. The extroverts think they do so much more than the 'quiet ones'. They would soon notice if we weren't there doing everything any more.
introverts tend to do all the work for the extroverts because they are lazy or busy talking somewhere else.
they tend to use all kinds of excuses to get out of doing work. Not all of course.
Coming from a Mexican American background where machismo is heavily influenced it wasn't easy being a introverted and for years i felt i wasn't normal. When i got older and started coming across words like introvert and finding out what it means i felt so much weight off my shoulders i felt so much happier because i don't like to party to much i do like time alone and socializing with a few people and to know this is perfectly normal.. If introverts ruled the world it would be more peaceful
Amen to us introverts! We introverts are tired of those extroverts who believe that everyone should be like them. I am an introvert and let introverts of the world unite.
Awesome! I totally related to every thing.
I can totally relate to her definition of introverts. I'm not antisocial. I'm not very shy either (used to be very shy as a child, but got over it). I can present pretty well in front of people, and I can be really talkative about subjects that I like; but I simply prefer a relaxed environment where I'm either alone or with a group of people hanging out quietly. Partying, clubs, and any venue with irritatingly loud music are the bane of my existence.
Introverts would prefer a glass of wine with a close friend as oposse to going to a loud party full of strangers...
She literally described me, every single word of it, so true.
I grew up thinking that there was something wrong with me because I spent a lot of time alone and got overwhelmed in large groups. I got a lot of criticism from family and schoolmates but now I finally realize I'm just an introvert and there's nothing wrong with it! :)
Introverts unite!
But on the internet not in real life obviously too much small talk and social interaction
🤣😅
I once had a coworker tell me she 'couldn't stand being alone'. I almost told her I knew what she meant, I couldn't stand being around her either. I actually enjoy my own company, how is it even possible to not like your own brain, or know how to feed it?
Introverts may be somewhat telepathic and 'hear' all the emotional noise coming off other people, esp. extroverts. Extroverts often seem shallow and soul-less.
extroverts always try to get me to become like them, as if i have a problem that needs to be fixed. when i try to be more extroverted, all my energy gets drained and i get into a very bad mood
I've seen the TED talk, it was cool. And I agree with everything you've said. My comment wasn't directed at Susan Cain but at the comments from my fellow introverts. It just pisses me off at how quick people are to jump at the chance create separation amongst ourselves by saying "we're better then them at blah blah blah because of blah blah blah". We're good at stuff. Other people are good at other stuff. Let's not draw lines in the sand but combine our powers.
i like this, its definitely better than reading an extrovert psychologist describing us introverts
I remember a time during my freshman year in college when we had a nutritionist visit our freshman orientation class for bio majors. She said she is naturally an introvert but to get the job she wanted, she had to constantly display extroversion. Even the assessment tests for employment do likewise. They turn down people who would otherwise be perfect for the position simply for not being an extrovert. Plus in today's society, extroversion is seen as a good thing and introversion a bad thing.
Yes! Moses was an introvert and a great leader.
The book is excellent. Introverts are already taking over the world. The newest ideas, trends, etc. come via the internet and introverts by and large, dominate the internet. It's where we feel most socially comfortable and where we share our ideas. We are in our element here so let's take advantage of it.
I've just read the book and didn't get the feeling introverts were being represented as a minority pleading for acceptance, but rather felt it aimed toward a shift of consciousness/understanding of the different personality types. Although, naturally with a bias toward explaining introversion as okay, rather than a personality fault as is commonly suggested.
Many introverts exhibit extroverted traits merely out of social obligation, rather than preference. We can both learn from eachother.
I am also an introvert!
The shame aspect is a direct result of the bias towards extroverts. It's like society has this ideal model of a person (extravert) which we should all aspire to be like, yet many of us aren't like that, but try to force ourselves to meet that unrealistic "standard" simply to fit in.
Why should WE have to change who we are because THEY fail to understand us? Yet that's exactly what we do, and are shamed when we can't fit into that model of a person that society holds against us.
Just purchased this book, can't wait to go off and read it!
There is no bias against introverts, least not here in London, UK. When it comes to people's personality traits everyone is different and everyone likes different things. There are qualities to admire in both introverts and extroverts. In fact most people are a mesh of the two as opposed to a complete this or that as the author argues.
But we'll all sit there observing each other and then leave to think.....
I first watched a TED talk with Ms. Cain and felt it is about time Introverts stepped out of the safe zone and offered a fresh and long overdue perspective that could be the stepping stone to a lot of positive forward steps for the individual as well as society as their understanding of personality types. How many of you know your personality type? I highly recommend you do some self discovery and understand how you are wired - Take a personality test and move forward. I am an INFJ :)
Love Susan Cain! She's a real angel; so inspiring, positive and good looking too! =)
"The secret sense of shame" that we have. She is dead on. No one will admit it, but I bet most of us feel inferior to the extroverts. I do. And until you TRULY accept yourself you will.
Oh wow, quite a powerful reply. Ok, let me clarify - only those comment(s) which are negatively directed towards one side are considered rants (Introverts) or lowering of reputation (Extroverts). And I did not say everybody is BOTH introverted and extroverted, just that we all share some amount of both qualities. For example, I enjoy people (Extrovert), yet I also enjoy reading a book alone (Introvert). So what am I?
There is such a term called "ambivert". Check it out. It's pretty cool.
Introvert and extrovert is all about our habits... U can be anything and nothing is bad if u are introvert or extrovert
i will - as soon as i spend this weekend rewriting my short plays and listing to radiolab on npr. after that, revolution!!!
my brother is just one year older than me.. but he's the biggest extrovert you can ever meet.. and im the biggest introvert..
I thought it was 20% of the population? That's why its so easy to keep us, the minority, down and held to extrovert standards.
Introverts Unite! Say it quietly and reservedly...
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being introvert, it's just a type a personality. The problem comes when you are shy....and a shy person can be also an extrovert as well.
I've only really just found out that I'm an introvert. Glad to know there are others like me ^.^ Though I don't personally know any introverts because everyone I know is pretty much an extrovert, my family, friends... They try to make more "extroverted" because they think there's something wrong with me. I just like spending time with myself. And I've always hated working in groups at school... can never get any work done. :P
I can relate. Makes me want to read the book.
TheNeptunepeces83
I don't think thats the case, I do know some artists and actors that ante more introverted. Sometimes when you are a musician and you get on stage, it's different, like the music takes you away. It is extremely possible to be and feel this way, I believe.
A "scale that is in balance" does have downsides. I am just about 50/50. It's like having two different personalities that are both you. Very confusing.
I think better to stay at home peacefully.I hate meeting people.Extroverts call us for another conference.....
great work Susan.
Introverts know to use extroverts for constructive purposes. Just give them non-intellectual work. Problem is that extroverts want to dominate and not build up society.
Autist Doctor Temple Grandin (one of my heroes) delivered a TED talk on how we need people with different brains and different brain configurations ...
well said step.
Bait you? Nay, I daresay the bait no longer rests upon the hook! But mindless? I reject it! A discussion, much like what is between us at present, is never mindless. It is an intelligent exchange. A dance, if you will. I present a preference of "me time", and you offer back the interpretation of social anxiety or anti-social behaviors. A smooth transition. Surprisingly quite similar to the negative stereotypical perspective on introverts that you so reject.
she is soooo beautiful...dayum.
That was brilliant
Insightful... Thinking about it...
there are silently more introverts in corporate environments
I am an introvert
We are wondering why people compare themselves all the time, well its because society has one ideal of human being and if u dont quite fall down into this cathegory you are seemed are not so worthy.
Why is it assumed that introverts like books?! I'm introvert, and I do enjoy reading but I'd rather make music, and go for walks or something.
People act like being intoverted is so bad :(.
AMEN! A lot of jobs even want everyone to be an extrovert or over the top. Sure some jobs require you to be out going and I understand that. But it creates anxiety when looking at jobs.
ikr i feel the same way im just way shy deep in iam also not rlly socially engaged even though i appear super social
The effects last a life time.
i am sure i am an introvert, i do like to spend a lot of time alone and with my own thoughts and i am a daydreamer and quite shy in certain settings. however i might have a little extroversion in me cause i dont mind large groups of people and i can enjoy places with more energy as long as i feel comfortable around the people there even if i dont know anyone. for instance i went to a concert recently, had the time of my life and loved talking to others there too, maybe i am a little bit of both?
Bias everywhere. I don't undertand how some introverts feel so entitled to state they are so misunderstood in the real world that is allegedly biased againt them when they are also showing signals of bias against extroverts that may be a minority in more introverted communities like internet. More compassion please.
I understand. Still I don't want to say that it cannot be helped, but a lot of times it happens that way because of the differences. I cannot remember of having a similar experience (I'm an ambivert), but I have behaved similarly with some introverts in real life (hardly showing attention to them and ignoring them). That doesn't mean it's justifiable. Maybe just for you or people that relate to your experience. Maybe you also think that the bias against introverts aren't justifiable.
Interesting. I will be reading this book!
sometimes we rock :)
@northofself I think the problem is that she is trying to describe to many things in a short period of time. In her TED talk, she makes a clear distinction between being an introvert and being shy.
What's up with all the close ups? Should have shown more of Susan Cain's legs.
Truth, I think shame for yourself AND other people you sit and watch day after day. Introverts talk to themselves more also....lol
I agree. I can understand being irritated with all the social pressure, but the bigotry I see in the comments is just petty. I'm an introvert BTW.
If you all "united" wouldnt that make you be more extroverted?
The extrovert/introvert ratio is not 50/50, as the interviewer assumes. If I remember correctly, it is about 60/40 in favor of extroverts.
And for an introvert, Susan Cain sure cranks out a lot of videos. She seems to be kind of an "extroverted" introvert.
Please get in touch, you seem like an excellent person.
I know; she's adorable.
I find video's on introverts have few comments and more comment ratings