If you're sick of games in dating
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- Опубліковано 14 січ 2019
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Being A Virgin On Your Wedding Night:
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Emily Wilson.
If I wanted to communicate with him 2 days after he spoke to me, I would have sent him a letter.
Aparna A 😂
LMAO!
what about smoke signals?
🤣
😂😂😂
when i met my husband I did this only when he called me the first time. i waited 3 days to call back. he right away asked me if i was interested in him for real or not. . . . It was sobering to hear a MAN be so straight forward after I had dated others who were full of lies and chasing the skinniest, prettiest, most popular girls. I stopped cold in my tracks and we had one of our first real deep conversations and us growing as people together and blossoming our honest communication together began. It was such a breath of fresh air!!! I think this is also part of the reason we never check each other's phones, emails, mail or anything. we have each others passcodes and we check our things with the other right next to us at times. we never have anything to hide. we love each other and our love is pure. I am SO grateful!
Probably should have busted out the Crazy Chiquita sweater for this one....speaking of which, she hasn't been around in a long, long time. I should make a CrazyChiquita video soon. :)
Yes you should 😊
Emily Wilson yes please bring Crazy Chiquita back again! 😄
I will definitely watch
Yes definitely!!
Why do I find myself staying up all night watching all of your videos🙄. Great channel!
It’s ok also to tell people you’re not interested. Stop giving false hope and or just ignoring/ghosting people. It’s not cool to do that!
Yep! ua-cam.com/video/hpVsHqwsIqI/v-deo.html
Amen big difference between worldly dating and Godly dating.....Godly dating is intentional with purpose.
Kevin B wow! Well said!
So true brother. Worldly dating is mostly lust. After a while get bored and change the partner.
Godly dating must be like: Love the same person always in many ways. Never get bored of each other. God should be the mediator.
So true!
this was TOO REAL. I get so scared of being labelled "desperate" I begin to play games, and then I don't even enjoy the game and I am miserable the entire time....
🙌 this
Yes. And nobody wants to be miserable.
Also let me add if a man is unavailable to you when your dating hes going to be unavailable to you once your married. When my husband and I were dating we made time for each other and now marriage and 4 kids later we still are intentional about making time for each other. It's so important.
That is so true! My (then) boyfriend and I broke up, because he doesn't have time, given that we were just months into dating. I knew that was gonna be a problem in the long run so before I started resenting him, we mutually broke up and we remained on friendly terms 😁
A very good point!
This came at the perfect time!! Thanks for this Em. Please pray for us to be genuine in dating
You got it Jacinta!
I can't even act like I don't care
when it came to Daniel, I couldn't either...
@@emwilss I'm like that with my current boyfriend
It's soooo hard to act like that
OHH yes! So so true! I have to admit I played those games before when I was so unsure and confused in the dating world moving from home to Hong Kong and getting burnt a few times when men just disappears when I refuse a couple of times to "go for a movie in their home".
When I got so tired of the game, I decided to put God first, which let me to put myself first. I met my now husband, Daniel, who fell in love with my authenticity. :)
So, girls!!! Just be truly you!
You are absolutely right!
for my younger self I waited to call back because there were guys who scolded me for calling back too soon. they said I reeked of desperation and it was gross. . .. I was so hurt I made sure to wait to call back with other people but I dumped that guy. I think the issue I was having was I was dating boys who were just trying to sleep with me but didn't want to be committed to me long term and wait for marriage.
I used to do these things often but it naturally never happened with my current boyfriend. He always let's me know how much he cares and I do the same. It's incredible to be with someone who always wants me to know he cares. I think everyone deserves this in their relationship. ❤
I'm sad to admit I've fallen into this trap. So many times I've thought, "Maybe I should wait so I don't seem pesky." I'll remember this advice, Emily; I'll text him back or call him when I darn well feel like it.
AMEN! well said Emily! This is a real problem in our society! Thank you for sharing this.....Have a very good day!
Sister, PREACH. I knew when I started dating my boyfriend that I was NOT going to play games with texting especially. If he was interested in me, he would pursue me, and that he did! I’ve never been happier. ☺️
I am so glad to hear it!
Always coming out with messages that I need to hear! ❤️❤️
I'm glad to hear this :) You are always so supportive and loving and I can't thank you enough for that!
Yes! My boyfriend and I did not play any games whatsoever. I don't understand the need to show that you "don't care". That just leaves room for a world of hurt. We were honest from the get go :).
And I'm sure it has definitely paid off in the long run!
I just experienced for the first time in my life having a Christian guy intentionally and respectfully and clearly get to know me without playing games or sending mixed signals and then legitimately show up at my door to ask me if I wanted to go on a date with him. I thought about your video where when guys start doing things right girls freak bc we are so used to flakes!! And then I decided I would be equally as honest and forward and intentional getting to know him. Also said yes to the date :) your advice truly is changing lives girl!! Love, a very thankful Californian
I love when my videos come to mind for you guys - and that they can be helpful in real life situations like this!
Does dating even exist? More like hook-ups.
Where were you when I was younger. Girl every video you slay dragons!!!! oh so good!
Thank you Kayla :) Always glad to see you here!
Always Love with your whole heart! Never overthink your feelings! Show how much you love someone by being real and true to how you feel about them through the Grace of God!
Thank you, this helps me a lot, I'm new to the whole communication in dating thing (as I just wasn't interested in dating before I met a certain guy), so overthinking is kind of part of my daily routine now and I need to break that! Thanks for showing me
@@An19941 Of course!
I really needed to hear that. Thank you so much for posting this.
Thank you so much for posting this video, again, I very much needed to hear this right now, especially in this day and age!♡
You are welcome!
LOVE THIS VIDEO - so true “who can seem the most uninterested” just leads to such bad communication!! Such a needed message in society! - Est X
I really needed this! I love your perspective, and I agree 100%. Thank you for making this video!!👏🏼💗
When I was a teeneger, I was soooo into that kind of games. I thought dating wasn't fun if there is no mistery in it. Now, 10 years later, I'm so not into them.
Yes! I 100% agree with you! I always think to myself, “if he were standing right in front of me speaking, would I wait 2 days to speak back to him?” I feel so empowered by this video!!💞❤️💃🏼Love!!
Good point!
This is exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you so much!
Yes!! Someone that understands me. Playing games is just a waste of time. I learned that some guys were not for me because they always seemed busy yet online and never text back. I realized that making time to send someone a text is a choice, and waiting till you have time to text someone is also a choice. Where I am now, I make time to text people and not play games and I want someone that does that to. Playing games is just too much work.
Back when I was in college about 15 years ago, there was a book going around called “the rules” and it was all about how to “date and act right to get the man of your dreams etc” it was sooooo dumb, but my mom gave it to me so I thought that I should read it. It was like all about how to play games right, don’t call right back, make him call twice, don’t go out unless he asks you Tuesday or Wednesday night for Saturday. If he asks Thursday it’s too late and was not thinking far enough in advance which means he’s not crazy enough about you, blah blah blah. You couldn’t make eye contact, initiate any conversation and I could go on and on. Well regrettably it ruined any opportunity I had for meeting guys in my 20s, as I turned down any guy who asks me out the day before. I’m 34 now and it’s much harder to meet single quality Christian men as most of them get married in their twenties. Usually the men I meet single and Christian in their 30s weren’t Christian in their teens/20s and became Christian later in life after getting over drug addiction or alcohol and came to Jesus. Anyway, wish I had better examples of Christian relationships to follow when I was younger.
"Like real talk, do you find the need to play games?" PREACH ! 3:37
I keep getting told to do the worldly thing growing up “playing hard to get” but in reality once you date a mature guy who respects you and doesn’t play games with you, tells you when he’s free to talk, and keeps you in the loop of what’s going on, you really don’t have the time or patience for boys who play games. If anyone ever treats you like you’re crazy or needy for calling out their games please tell them goodbye. you deserve better.
That is so true.
I think we're scared of showing and being vulnerable. Also, most of us are not yet mature to be out there dating people.
Real talk, thank you for helping the masses! The wisdom you bestow is much needed for both sexes. I don't miss any of your videos since I found your channel.
I love this so much Emily! So true
You crack me up, I love your perspective. Good video
This video was very helpful. Thank you!
I’m SO glad somebody finally talked about this! I’ve seen too many of my friends overthinking txts when really they shouldn’t haha
This is literally days after I did this exact thing. And MAN what a good slap in the face it is!! I spent a week overthinking every single thing I sent a guy and SURPRISE, it didn’t work out the way I wished it would!
Thank you thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes!!!
Always happy to see you here Kirsten. Keep that heart up - you are a wonderful woman!
Amen! Thank you Emily!
I’ve been out of the dating world for 5 years & I’m honestly scared.
This is a perfect reminder to just be my authentic self.
Emily you're very godly n realistic
Hey thank you Esther!
Emily, I just want to thank you for your voice and your eagerness to share all these things you've learned with other women. I grew up in a church culture that painted dating altogether as a bad thing, so navigating it without any tools and having to learn everything from scratch can be challenging. Your insight is SO appreciated and you've brought my heart peace and resolve multiple times 💜
Oh, Tessa! Thank you. I am so grateful to hear comments like this - I do my very best to give you all tools for navigating life and to hear specifically that they are helpful to you in this way really means a lot for all the effort I put into my channel. Thank you very much :)
you have no idea how much your videos are helping me, thank you so much!! God bless ur family
I am so glad to hear this! Thank you Tina!
Love this video, Em!
Quick video request-- Seeing that the march for life is this week: are you going? And could you do a video about abortion/how to stand up for what you believe in/your thoughts on the subject in general? Love you and God bless!
I just love this!
Hurray!! A new video ❤
Actually 2 videos coming to you this week! :)
Emily, this was really insightful😊
I hate it when I'm finding myself joining that game.. again.. and again..
I love your videos!
Over time it does get very draining and tiring. I was there once but thank God it was kept under 5 months. Sending love
@@dawnforlife ❤
Well thank you for watching!
Uh I used to be so guilty of this out of "self-preservation". When I was 22 I had a spiritual reversion and realized I was not being authentic in dating. The men I was dating didn't know my heart. Thank you for your wisdom & testimony.
Very profound. Thank you for sharing this.
I really love your videos! You're awesome!!
Thank you for watching!
Yes! Thank you!
AMEN! Thank you for this!
Love this video! This is what I'm dealing with a lot lol
Thank you!! I was sick of playing games when I started dating my boyfriend. I have the feeling, that especially girls in Germany tend to really obsess with this idea and send a lot Screenshots in a group chat with friends and discuss a lot, so the guy doesn't experience the real person but a result of group discussions.
I myself couldn't resist completely back then. When my boyfriend knew I was home I texted him back right away, just as you said but when he knew I was with friends I waited for a few minutes at least just to make the impression, that my best friends and I were busy having fun ( not us sitting on the sofa, watching movies and me cravingly waiting for every new message from him)
"The guy doesn't experience the real person but a result of group discussions." That is a fantastic insight into our culture today.
I totally agree with the principle here - be genuine! - but I feel the need to point out that if you're not sure of the guy's commitment level, it's not wise to be too available until he clarifies. I know from your other videos that you believe this too! I just think it would have been good to remind us of that here. Thanks for being you, Emily!
Good point! You are right!
I’ve found very recently that games like these are things that immature people that aren’t ready for something serious or long lasting do! I’m not somebody like that so they’re things I’m making a conscious choice to do!
Yep.
I hate the “games” because the rules make no sense!! And I have a friend who tries to pressure me into playing dating games, which only adds to my stress, confusion, and the pressure to commit to someone too early
I also had a guy dump me because he didn’t text me for a week to see if I was committed enough- like, heck! I was taking 18 credits and didn’t feel like texting him. What a red flag 🚩🙄🙄
Thank you for making this so clear and simple. I feel like the world makes everything so over complicated and all I want is for someone to tell me like it is and that’s exactly what you do! PRAISE THE LAMB FOR EMILY WILSON!🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Happy to help :)
Wow! Thank you so much for this video Emily! I really needed this. I have always struggled with this. I thought I was supposed to play the game. It wasn't that I wanted to be manipulative; I just thought that if I was mysterious enough the guy would keep trying to pursue me. But now I realize I don't have to do that anymore because an intentional guy will pursue me no matter what. So thank you so so much! Can't wait to see your next video!
Thanks for sharing this Whitney. I'm so glad it was helpful for you!
I most definitely hate the games played on dating sites
Thank you Emily for all of your videos!! They have helped me so much! You know, I have wanted to share them with my friends, but as I live in Argentina, there is a language barrier for most people. I wanted to ask if you would consider allowing your viewers to contribute with subtitles for your videos! I think so many more women would get to hear your awesome message!! Thank you again!
I will look into this! Thank you for the recommendation!
@@emwilss thank you so much Emily!! I'd be glad to do my part😉
WOW,this was so good.
Because this was me (just a little bit)
But after talking to people about it i relised i just didnt want him to know that i really liked him and then for him to brake up with me. But again after talking and dealing with some of my own stuff going on in my life, i have been so much more honest with him and saying what i really feel and texting him back when i want to haha, and we are getting along so much better and just ever thing is so much nicer.
Thanks for this talk, loved it 💗💗❤
Hey Emily! I want to say first that I’m so blessed by your ministry. Thankyou! I would like to say that even if I genuinely like a guy and we are approaching things in a mature way that I still feel it’s sometimes good to leave a little space, esp in the beginning. Like if a guy messages me and I don’t want to respond right away I won’t. Or if I am free on a Friday but we’ve already had some contact that week and I feel like adding a Friday date would be too much I just say I can’t meet up. I think it is so important to take the speed of the relationship as fast as you feel comfortable. If that happens to be a snails pace at first so be it and I think the right guy will be ok with that.
Hi! I am certainly not saying don't leave space...I said in the video, respond when you want to and be authentic. If you don't want to go out on Friday and you make sure that doesn't happen, that's you being authentic! Your comment are examples of exactly the kind of authenticity I am referring to.
Emily Wilson yes I think you are so right! I was saying amen through your whole video! 🙌🏻
Oh my Good Lord!! Your video is so AMAZING! I am always upfront and always text back. And having to appear unavailable never made much sens in my head. I've heard many times "Oh you should stop showing that you are interested in the guy, let him call/text you". And I find it being so exhausting. He has to be kind and gentlemen, and if he is interested in me then i have to show who I am...why not answer when i want to and have to anser after a certainty time?He might have the same butterflies in his stomach like
I have when a text is coming, or a confirmation is received.. why would l let him go through the pain of waiting?
Thank you for the video and I made me feel so much better .
Glad you are here so you can talk some sense into the young folk about how to date properly! 😁 (I'm saying that sincerely, not sarcastically... from a 40 year old who has been married half my life!)
Emily PLEASE🙏🏽 can you share a video about why you choose to be catholic 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Happy I can throw away all those dating books that tell people to get a life or pretend to be busy. Ha ha! Being honest makes me feel relief. Thanks!
Hehe - having a life is an important thing for anyone but being "busy" for the sake of being busy isn't!
" Goodbye!... nobody has time to be playing games" LOVE it! thanks for this video! The holy spirit ALWAYS fills you with the right and precise words to talk about any critical topic and that such a blessing for everyone here. Thank you for this video, God bless you and your BEAUTIFUL family!
Hehe thank you Elizabeth!
So so so good ❤️
YES! Games are a such a waste of time and energy, God bless your videos about dating, it’s the occasional reminder that settling is still not an option. #thankunext 💅🏼
Wow. So true.
You are freaking awesome.
Yas honey! 👏🏼 Tell it like it is Emily!
Word!
A guy I met at work is doing this to me right now. He left me on read then texted me the next day basically ignoring my last text. It’s shady, it’s annoying, and it doesn’t make me feel wanted or cared for. I don’t know if I should approach him about it, or just stop texting him altogether. I’m not a Damsel in distress waiting around for some guy to care about me and I’m mad because I just want to find something real.
Facts!
I honestly wish I had a Christian mentor like you at my church. But I am so thankful for your UA-cam platform because at least I have your videos and you're so real and honest and caring. Keep it up, you're helping us so much. :)
Thank you Elisabeth. I'm so grateful for comments like yours :)
Nice to know someone else feels the same way. Once you've established that you like each other, then build the relationship appropriately. Can we have a video about how to spot someone who seems to only want what they can't have?
Upfront ! Confident and knows what He wants. Just be available to talk. Put texting second place.
Great message, Emily. I have a question: What do you do if the guy doesn't text you simply because "he has nothing to talk about?" Shouldn't he strive to communicate even if he's an introvert or just not a big talker?
Haha yeah I never got why they would do that. Same for not saying I love you first. Some of my friends gave this kind of advice for years. But their outcome is not what I wanted. So I did the oposite and now I'm married 😃
THE 👏🏻 TRUTH 👏🏻
Thanks Emily.. I was putting myself down for truly being myself while texting a guy that I like.. Because I'm afraid of being hurt. But your right. if we can't be ourslves now whats the point!!!❤❤
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
Love this video. I only ignored my crushes in a relationship with someone else. Is that ok?
Preach 😍😍😍
Both men and women need to be honest with each other. The "game" however is somewhat necessary, it should just be played with honestly. Its a bad idea to get too attached or too emotionally intimate too quickly. Reserve your heart until some trust has been built. Avoid oneitis by keeping some distance at first.
In the case of men, we need to realize that women reflect and amplify our emotions. So we need to be about 50% as excited as we want them to be to avoid the relationship flaming out. Too much heat too soon can burn out a potential match.
Unfortunately, I have been called "boy crazy" in the past by the very guy that I liked for expressing the way that I felt. From that point forward, I spent research on how to get a guy to like you or to become interested in you and one of the recommendations was that you don't text back too quickly to not come across as if you are sitting by your phone waiting on him to text you like he's your main focus and happiness. I was young when this incident took place and it has affected me greatly as I've grown. I find myself playing games unintentionally many times because I feel that if I don't follow these rules provided by the media, I may lose the very guy I want so badly.
This is wht exactly wht I need to hear,i also hate those games
This is my philosophy too
YES! How about, if you like games so much, instead of playing games with one another's minds and hearts...play an actual game and get to freaking know one another! That would work for me anyway, lol! I actually went on a date once to a board game place, it's was a good time. :) Awesome, honest, and wise video, as always!
I hear those places are fun!
Im going through this right now! I hate it!
The truth is the truth. 👍
You look so beautiful here. ☺️
Hi Emily, I would like to ask a question that came to mind having watched this video. What is your stance on hanging out versus dating? I feel like in today's day and age, people don't ask each other on dates yet will use the term "hanging out" when with each other. The part I get confused about is that many people say this is incorrect or even wrong, to hang out with someone you are romantically interested in. I have always viewed relationships as being attracted to someone who is also your best friend, so is it wrong to "hang out", where both people enjoy each other's company in simple, spontaneous activities? Should we be labeling these activities as dates if both individuals have the same feelings toward each other and their intentions are clear, and both individuals are pursuing a pure, wholesome, faith centered relationship? Is there any harm in hanging out with someone you are interested in and not calling it a date?
I can't get close to anyone because of my intense genophobia. I don't want to be alone forever but I can't have a relationship either, and it's destroying me emotionally. Even when I really like a person and can see myself with them, I can't. I know it's impossible to have marriage without it, but I can't. Even thinking about the possibility puts me in a panic attack, even just writing this, I'm choking. I feel so alone.
Wow God is so funny sometimes here i was just laying down bummed out because i had to cut off a guy i had deep feelings for because of this exact same issue. He was being cruel stringing me along for along time playing hot and cold for the past 4 years never really commiting I came to the conclusion a week ago . A lot of immature guys play these texting games i need a serious man . I felt led that I needed to take drastic measures and delete all my social media for my own healing . The last thing i did before i pressed delet I gave him my home number . and guess what ? Radio silence.
Thank you emily for your video . Its really a confirmation from god that i deserve real authentic connection.
-much love 😊👑💖
You sure do! And no matter how heartbreaking and tiring it is, your God chosen man is out there, if marriage is your vocation. So, keep putting God first and a great guy will make his way to you! :)
Aw , god bless you. Your words mean alot 💖
Hi all, does anybody know of a Christian channel that gives advice to men? Thank you.
Edit: Oh my gosh never mind. This was good advice.
ApplyGodsWord is a nice channel :).
Maybe try ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger? Might be to your liking. All the best!
Ascension Presents is good for both
Cornelius Lindsey
Redefined TV
Hallelujah sister. Hallelujah
:)
I hate playing games. If I find myself not really being interested, that's it. If I want you, you'll know. Dating with "rules" is so stupid and such a time waster
first like first comment!!!😅love you Emily!!!
heyyyy Lina!!!
I play games when he plays games 🙈🙈🙈