Just Ask Dr. Julie: When Adults Fat-Shame Kids
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- Опубліковано 13 лип 2024
- For parents or adults that care for kids, it can be challenging with other adults speak harshly or criticize the kids they love. Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman addresses a question from a fan about what to do when that happens.
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Another person the child will likely lose trust in is the parent(s) if they fail to act. They will learn that their parent doesn't stand up for them when others are essentially bullying them. So they may no longer feel safe with the parent either. It's a profoundly terrifying, damaging thing for a child to go through life seeing and feeling they have no one they can count on to keep them safe from harm. The effects last long into adulthood and set them up for all kinds of difficulties. Please stand up for your kids!
It was never about my children, since they were boys. It was always me.
Always called too fat no matter my weight, by aunts, grandparents, and everyone else. Me and other female cousins included, all have a form of body dysmorphia. It’s interesting how little jokes that fat shames a child can cause so much conflict for the child later in life.
I like when you say most people respect science.
I was food & fat shamed by my parents so there was no escape. Except developing anorexia to get approval from the family. Every adult in the family was obsessed with dieting and judgmental of looks & weight, despite saying they weren’t. 😵💫 Now I’m estranged by choice because the shaming switched to other topics once I was grown up & my weight was normal. Please suspect emotional abuse that will take other forms and keep kids away from these people.
Same. It lingers with you forever. I'm obsessed with my body image and absolutely horrified of getting even slightly over weight again. Still now each time I see my body I feel disgust despite the approval of many others now.
I'm so sorry that you had to grow up with such abuse and judgement. You deserved to be appreciated and loved just as you were. And to be able to enjoy nourishment and your body without shame.
I know it sucks, but I'm glad you made the brave move to protect yourself by not being around them.
I think parents should know they are feeding their kids to wolves to prioritize family, when the family is fine destroying the health & minds of their children. Media is bad enough! I say it’s a red flag, they will probably mistreat the kids in other ways. Be on guard and back off at the first sign of this behavior, especially if you ask that it stop ASAP and it continues. It can lead to serious eating disorders and a lifetime of unhealthy dieting or mental health struggles. Family should be safe.
Thank you both. I’m sorry if you grew up this way too. It’s very common but also very toxic. Thank god for therapy. I don’t regret cutting contact. Family doesn’t undermine each other especially children.