Behaviors That Destroy Couples and How to Turn it Around | Dr. Julie Gottman | Relationship Advice
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
- Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman explains four of the most corrosive behaviors to relationships if left un-repaired, and what you can do to begin to turn things around. This is a short clip from Seattle's KING5 New Day Northwest TV show.
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"Marital demise" I like that expression! 👌
Excellent work by the Gottmans!!!
I dont necessarily have a bad relationship with my parents, but my parents barely talk to one another (caused by years of bad communication and a huge fight), its been going on for years now, and overtime i feel that my relationship with each of them is weakening. Now I'm searching everywhere: how do you get your parents to want to fix their relationship?
Michael J, I feel for you and this painful situation. I hope the problem between your parents got solved.
That sounds like a very tough situation. A good first step might be to seek out a therapist who can help you sort through the concerns and questions you have.
Great tools! I use them with my clients !
We can all relate to these corrosive behaviors as we see it in others or on television. It all boils down to putting one’s self superior over your own partner. The Gottman method can help turn it around by teaching you how to encourage instead of criticize and lift up than pull down.
Behaviour that destroys relationships is 1 money and 2 communication what one says to the other is ok but when the other says the same its different
how much of this behavior is personality based and how much trigger based? Cuz if in one relationship you criticise 80% in another you criticise 50%...
It's all about the nurture.
And that can be including "in" the current relationship - if something happened to get stored in your Amygdala.
You can have a calm biological standpoint however.
But as soon as you love someone it all goes to "animal".
I call it the "Baby Love Brain" - it's that part of you that's crying on the shop floor because mum said no to your demand for some food you saw.
It's that base. It's almost untameable.
Always and never statements are a source of frustration. Whining is a sex ploy. Neither persons want to be in the marriage. People should get to know each other before marriage. Sex is what brings you together but what keeps you together?
Thank you
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! you cut off the product plug! where can I get a home kit!?
Yes I agree by following these basic guidelines and using the tools we can change our relationships profoundly for the better!
What about lack of attraction.
It's often about shielding accountability. Not always I'd one person just an asshoke. Maybe it's first about assessing whether a real issue is at hand. If a real issue is at hand. Not just the dishes say someone is avoiding a legal issue on a timely matter cuz it bothers them but it has to do with you. Then when someone gets upset cuz a real issue arises then the other person hides it's toxic to society. Not everything is simply just all flowers and good days and it's cool to just ignore the other person. If you Cannot and will not dig into to why someone feels a way it is toxic. Just because someone airs a grief doesn't make them abusive double just because a man complains about the home is he abusive sometimes the complaint is valid, sometimes it's abuse and almost never black and white.. I used to clean my home spotless, go work triple shifts and come home to a disaster, lying, gaslighting person who could never be truthful or respectful. If I aired an issue they would act like my emotions were bad if it were my time money and home being destroyed. Complete avoidance,, then say oh you shouldn't be upset cuz they literally destroy a home. Society is literally training you to actually refuse to Guage whether it is a legit issue to them and whether they are just reaching out for a change of a cycle. It trains people to just crutch on this instead of ever having a level of respect. Yes it's OK if your mom calls you a jerk if you actually never take your shoes off on purpose at her door when she asks. Maybe the person who heard and ignores just because it bothers them is wrong. You MUST BE CLEAR ABOUT THIS!
Agree.
Main problem in relationships is women between 15-30 are being used to be worshipped and admired by men for free. More precisely for "being awesome".
From what I understand people are shaping their personalities until 26 year of life. After that it's very hard to change yourself.
So most of today's men are faced with princess or martyr when they are tired of constant worship.
So next thing (from what I see) is turning children into worshippers by princess/martyr.
After couple of years of working in strangers homes i came to despise toward wormen. No way that I would take them seriously. "Me, me, me".
What struck me most is how women imagine themselves as so valuable that only by their existence they are giving "so much". 😄
Seems to me that women came to believe commercials and bullshit sold by men wanting to hook-up with them 😄
Some women
@@jcimsn8464 Not all but most of them. Especially in country shaped by catcholic church.
Maybe i should point that in my comment.
you can just say youre mad that no women like you rather than typing out paragraphs
I don't think hes just butthurt. He just observed without emotions and got emotional.
You call him incel while he might be mgtow. There is a difference.
More like your personality is set by the time you're 5, not 26.