Is Pretty Privilege Even Real?
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- Опубліковано 27 лип 2024
- Is Pretty Privilege Even Real
This week we deep dive into pretty privilege. Is it real? Is it not real? I will explore the reasons for why people argue that it exists as well as the criticism of the concept I will explain my thoughts on it based on the findings.
Time Stamps
00:00 Intro/ Background
00:32 Why people think it exists
05:27 The Halo Affect
08:24 Criticisms Of Pretty Privilege
11:24 Conclusion
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People are nicer to you when they find you attractive. I've had my weight fluctuations a few times and I've seen the clear difference in how I'm treated. When I fit the beauty standard people are nicer and things are easier for the most part. When I don't I've been ignored and had people be really ugly to me.
Maybe you yourself play along with these societal expectations so when you are in a 'society appropriate' weight standard you feel better, thus attracting better outcomes, and vice versa. Every think of that?
I was at a meetup with a girl who's overweight, but I just thought she was gorgeous. She brought up the weight issue, she said she wants to join a gym blah blah blah, I said okay fine.
It is like when us guys worry so fk much about our p*nis size. Like this is such a HUGE issue for men now a days, maybe it always was. I don't get it, you can't change it, you didn't give yourself a size. Why judge yourself and put yourself in such a low state (if it's too small) when you didn't do anything to cause it? for society?
@@neoreign I disagree because at the time I didn't realize how much weight I gained. I wasn't acting any different or perceiving anything different. I also wasn't expecting people to treat me different when I was thin. People just did
@@neoreign I’ve been to clubs where overweight women werent allowed ( unless they had fat in the “right” places). I didn’t realize this until I went again. At first I thought certain girls couldn’t get in cause of how they dressed. Women of all heights and races were going in. It wasn’t until I went like the 3rd time did I realize it’s because the girls are overweight
@@xshesyourqorqeousxx3 Yep. Many clubs limit the amount of men they allow in and discriminate against overweight/older/less attractive women also. Having a club filled with women, particularly beautiful women, makes that club more attractive to men and this allows the clubs to attract more people and even charge more.
That's why there's always ladies nights in clubs but there's never a men's night. It's not generosity or to support women in anyway, it's business.
@@cigh7445 Absolutely and as with YT and Google, if you're not paying, YOU are the product. Women ARE the product in these places and on "ladies night".
I think pretty privilege becomes a problem when it’s not in an aesthetic based field but in fields where looks should NOT play a role. Like you said: More intelligent people should be more successful in intelligence based fields than less intelligent people. But if you add pretty privilege, a super intelligent but less attractive person might have a lower chance of being successful in that field than a less intelligent but super attractive person.
Yeah, looks benefit you in every industry as well as in the dating realm. Not just aesthetic based industries.
@@Yes-ms6po Good point!
Like she said. Life is unfair.
@@aleksandarpenchev7807 It’s not just about fairness it’s generally more beneficial for everyone if we have the more intelligent people working jobs that require intelligence. Do we really want “pretty people” running the world and making important and difficult decisions instead of the people who actually have the intelligence to figure out the best option? Beauty should just not be the factor on which you decide to give someone a job that isn’t about beauty. And “life is unfair” is such a lame excuse for something that could be avoided so easily with a little awareness.
There's something to be said about what "unattractive" means and at which point does the unattractiveness constitute as an aesthetic deformity. I mean a major underbite is both unattractive and an orthodontic deformity that decreases quality of life. A major skin disorder is both unattractive and signifies dysfunction in the skin and even the body. There's quite a difference between simply being unattractive and being genuinely repulsive from a biological standpoint, and there's a reason we as human beings tend to keep a distance from the latter.
I personally believe confidence is the byproduct of self worth. The issue is that self worth is extremely difficult to build if you consistently display incompetence or low value in an area. The solution, develop skills so you can prove yourself competent.
Great take 👌🏼 👏🏼 👍🏼
Very well put!
You have a conventional view and a very non original view of it. I urge you to keep digging and i truly wish you the very best.
@@neoreign Why don't you give us your view? It'll be interesting to hear an original and unconventional take on it.
@@neoreign sometimes things are common because they are correct.
I also think that women have more of a problem with pretty privilege because it applies to them more. Men tend to get more opportunities based on their skills while, unfortunately, a lot of people still focus on women’s looks above anything else. Even if it happens subconsciously
Its men issue too.
@@28yearsoldd Of course it is. But she mentioned in the video how statistically women are more worried about this. And that is because society historically determined a woman’s worth largely based on her looks instead of her skills or knowledge. Men do have that problem too, but not in that extreme.
@@JustanotherUA-camr771 of course, that's how it should be I mean even women do this, that's why Kylie cosmetic is worth billion dollars because women wants to get association with how good they look. Even if they do it subconsciously, women are more alert about how good their dress is and their makeup and hair, most guys don't even care about theirs.
And so in the world a girls value is usually in how pretty she is...
And a guys in how... Well, PRODUCTIVE he has become..
Whether socially (communication skills, empathy, comedy etc,) or financially. So of course women are meant to have it worse🤷🤷🤷
But in this life, I'd rather have too much attention than have non at all.
The first one shows appreciation, u can't hate it all or even most of the time, the second one.... Well people commit suicides over it.
@@DIAMOND0123 You’re wrong. That’s not how “it should be” it’s how YOU like it because you personally benefit off of that unfairness.
@@DIAMOND0123 what a sad comment really
confidence is easier to build for attractive people because, like you stated, they recieve more positive reinforcement. conversely, you recieve more negative reinforcement if you are unattractive. therefore, you do have a material disadvantage in a lot of realms by having to overcome a larger obstacle to make confidence not only your personal norm, but to prove it to those perceiving you who see your physical appearance first.
100% this
Harder isn't the same as impossible though. People need to stop tapping out just cause things are hard
@@lucyhuiii that's just a "bootstraps" argument with different clothes
Well I've been told I'm pretty but I've got low self-esteem and don't think I'm that pretty I find myself average.
@@lucyhuiii watch QOVES studio channel. It is much more than just having confidence facial aesthetics play a huge part as well.
I'm someone who is not very pretty and I'm also really shy, but I would never hate anyone for being prettier than me. I just feel a sort of wistfulness and usually in my mind I'm like "wow, she's super pretty. I wish I was pretty" and then I get sad, but I don't treat anyone different.
@@Waterdiver3900 Did . . . you even watch the video? She clearly stated that she thinks pretty privilege exists. How is she fooling anyone?
I'm the same way. I'm not very pretty, and my self confidence is horrible. But I always feel happy for other women who are prettier than me because honestly I'm glad that they don't have to deal with hating their appearance the way I do. Like you said, sometimes I feel wistful and wish I looked like them, but being angry at them for having what I don't would never cross my mind.
sweetheart i'm sorry u feel this way, i want to give u a big hug
Same
Same, i don't hate them, i start hating myself, for better or for worse.
Thank you for the empathetic comment. It’s so true. A coworker who is nice enough, yet not overly kind, lost her dog. Every female went out of their way to show their sympathy. I, on the other hand, go out out of my way to be nice and kind to everyone. I lost my mom and brother (on my moms birthday) A group of women were caught laughing and saying “awe, I’m sure she has a group of men lining up to comfort her”. As if a person who you find attractive doesn’t feel true pain because a couple guys like her. It’s such a sick way of thinking and treating people.
I'm autistic, have PTSD, born with GERD, deformed toes and got a sobby backstory straight out of a movie. As a pretty woman, the lack of sympathy I received and the harsh comments I received growing up were astounding. Just my GERD alone is the source of many like the kids who would tease me for all kinds of reasons related to my illness like my gag reflex acting up making me feel even more embarrassed then I already was (I mean, having a change of spare panties in my bag because of diarrhea attacks certainly wasn't humiliating enough), teachers who wouldn't believe I was sick and would accuse me of things like anorexia and no one ever taking it seriously. I literally developped a hatred for P.E and would invent ways for skipping out because of this incident when I was like 10 and my teacher (who was present) and coach were ignoring the fact I had ran out of the gym-room to puke in the showers and tossed me back into a game of dodgeball despite me begging them to allow me to sit out the game because my GERD was clearly acting up. Both were women, and not even the only female teachers who as early as elementary would force me into doing things I didn't want to in regards of my bodily autonomy because either they were unsympathetic or because they could get away with bringing me down like this teacher I had in my final year of elementary school. All of it was non-sexual, but it left me humiliated and uncared for.
Jeez some people can be such jealous arseholes. I am so sorry you had to deal with that.
Wow!
Hope you have good people around you and wish you the absolute best.💕
As someone who lost 165 pounds I can say that it does change the way people treat you. But that goes for better and worse. Some "friends" stopped hanging out with me because now I was prettier and that bothered them.
But at the same time I'm sure other people started, because people want to be associated with better looking people as it makes them seem higher on the social scale.
A part of it could be that you also carry yourself in a different manner. You self improved and started hanging out with people who are also interested in self improvement.
Right but your experiences are overall much better and those weren't friends that really liked you. You are happier to be treated better. It's not a double-edged sword it is what it is, which is privilege and anyone would that.
Did they say that that was why they stopped hanging with you?
that sucks
Being pretty is like winning lottery.
Technically you have all the money, you can buy whatever you want, spent them whatever you like, redistributed etc. But... All of sudden you find you have more friends than you thought, you find that more family members reach out to you... And all of them feel entitled to your money.
With beauty is the same. No one is making a favour (paying for your stuff, free coffee, lift you to somewhere) for beautiful girl from the goodness of their heart, but they feel entitled to your look - Strings are always attached.
@@laradara7175 lol he said noone will do you a favor without strings attached not "pretty people do nothing on their own and only survive on handouts" so I'm not really sure what your comment is addressing....
Yes!!! This!!!
I always think of Big Bang Theory show when there are conversations about pretty privilege. Kaley Cuoco is pretty and even if Mayim Bialik and Melissa Rauch put on makeup and get dressed up in expensive gowns Kaley would still be singled out as the pretty one. This would be the case even when she had short hair. Pretty privilege discussion makes people and society look superficial. Some might not think it's fair that people get perks just for their looks. Pretty privilege does exist.
@@larissalaflore7202 I didn't say it doesn't.
@@masumi158 That part wasn't directed at you. Just my opinion.
The Halo-effect is not just about appearance.
It extends to any standout positive traits a person has. So, if you are a very good musician, people are likely to assume you are a good person overall
Someone I dated for a long time once came home after a day out with her mother and sister. They are all quite attractive. She said that they had to get their tires replaced because they had one blow out while they were driving down the road. They stopped and got out to look the tire, and within a minute some guy pulled over to help them switch out the bad tire for the spare. She said something like "I just love how kind people are, he was so nice to do that." While I don't disagree, I know from my own experience of being broken down on the side of the road that it would've probably taken 30 minutes at least for someone to stop and offer to help if at all. I am not complaining,, just noting. There are a few factors for this differential, but it was funny that she attributed it purely to his kindness while I just kind of laughed to myself thinking "I'm sure it was purely kindness had nothing to do with the age old desire of men to be of service to attractive women, three of them no less"
To be fair, men in general have a desire to help women in need, regardless of attractiveness or wanting something in return. For all we know that man could have been a happily married husband who thought to himself that if it was his wife or mother stranded with a flat tire, he would want someone to help them out. But if it was a stranded man, most other men passing by would assume that he probably knows how to change a flat tire and doesn't need their help to begin with.
All of that being said, overall attractive women absolutely do receive more help from men, so it's not like that's entirely irrelevant.
Don't get the point of your comment.
@@kilaa3417 basically its pretty privilege. he as a man would likely have to wait 30 min or longer for someone to pull over and help him while they got one within a minute. the women thought it was solely out of kindness when in all likelyhood it was because they were 3 beautiful women that needed help. thats pretty privilege.
@@justarandompepe8961 this generation is weird lol. Men like helping women, and some of them like helping women because they get something out of it which doesn't seem like a privilege to me. "He as a man would likely have to wait 30 min or longer for someone to pull over" you mean he would have to wait longer for other men to help, bc women normally wouldn't stop to help as it would put us in danger. Ps Attractive men get special treatment too.
@@kilaa3417 this generation of men want to treated like attractive women lol
The thing that I find the hardest is other women's attitude, it's quite harsh to face some kind of hostility and coldness when people don't even know you, it's a bit unfair. You can be the most laid-back person in the room it doesn't matter, it's like people wanted to make you pay for making them feel insecure even if you're not confident yourself.
On the other hand, most beautiful people know that they have a privilege and you can tell, some of them are really arrogant and only cultivate this side of them as you said. The problem is society as a whole that put them on a pedestal based on pure shallowness.
Thats human nature, if I was a good looking guy I'd probably be a complete bastard.
@@garibaldi54 but why? I don't understand ahah
@@amazon2.022 If you naturally have people enamoured by you, you're bound to take it for granted and exploit it. People will naturally become de-valued by you and your own sense of worth/entitlement will increase.
I always said that if Casey Anthony had been about 50 pounds heavier and her face wasn’t so full of youthful innocence, that she’d be doing life +50.
But with that being said, we know the rules of the game are well-established and we can’t change them, so do whatever you can to make yourself as decent looking as possible. Take care of yourself and reap the social benefits! ANYBODY can look good if they put effort into it!
@@davemccage7918 Nah. You should watch the trial. The prosecution was extremely unprepared and FAILED us. And Casey’s lawyer was BOMB AF. She found the same lawyer of Harvey Weinstein. You should watch, it’s an interested trial if you’re into that stuff. It’s sad she got off, she should definitely be in jail.
@@davemccage7918 Yes, and no on the "anybody can look good". Yes, because most anyone can get in better shape and look more attractive. But no, because some features are seen as more attractive than others (and often varies by culture). For example, more defined features (high cheekbones, sharp jawline) are usually more attractive than less defined ones (low cheekbones, soft jawline).
@@theredheadwiththread1275 I see your point, but in my opinion “almost” anyone can be visually appealing to “someone”. I’ve seen make up do literal miracles and even the most modest face looks better on a physical fit body. And I firmly believe that there is an ass for every seat. Agree to disagree I guess? 🫤
@@davemccage7918 Who is Casey Anthony?
I'm autistic and I have realised that when you're seen as pretty, people don't take your struggles seriously
Although i agree with most of the things she said i think she missed something very important. If you are a gifted singer for example thats mostly gonna affect your career and maybe your status as well. But if you are pretty thats literally gonna affect big time every single aspect from your life. Starting from the self image, confidence, others perception, sense of worthiness, career choice, friend circle, social status, interest from the other sex, validation from others and so on. The halo effect is very real and i think we all have seen it many times. So yeah being gifted in sports, singing or sth simillar mostly affect that specific aspect of your life but being pretty literally makes your entire life a whole lot different.
Exactly, many very famous pop singers are not even that talented and the get to the top, while less conventionally attractive people Need to be extra talented to compensate the lack of looks. Looks permeate most aspects of life, whether positively or negatively.
Other genetic factors apply too, but they are not so blatant.
Really good points. I think in the pretty privilege debate, the skeptics often take for granted how much the culmination of your life's experiences affects your confidence and self-worth. It's not just about what you get from pretty privilege, but the overall benefits of how you're perceived and therefore treated by others.
Yea this, as a woman especially how you look will effect the entire trajectory of your life. The biggest part of life really is how we relate to others, what friends we have, what lovers we have. If you are a physically unattractive woman it severely limits all of your social opportunities.
@@melissa-5670 how do you explain susan boil and ed sheeran?
@@lucyhuiii this Is why i said "many", surely the ones you named are outliers, not the majority. And still, they are not unpleasant to look at.
My best friend is a VERY beautiful girl and though a lot of guys would pay attention to her and liked her(she has a great personality too) a lot of girls did NOT like her. Even though my friend is very shy, a lot of girls don’t like her automatically. Just because she’s pretty AND shy people think she’s mean. Even my other friends really didn’t like her, and when I would ask them why? they would just say “because I don’t think she likes ME”. I would say pretty privilege has a lot of benefits if you want to be in the entertainment world, but just living your regular day a LOT of women dislike you for no reason
(Edit) WOW I wrote this BEFORE you talked about when people are shy and pretty😭😭😭
Unless your friend is a lesbian she will find that being pretty is a blessing any way you look at it. Women size up their competition and hanging around a hot girl while trying to get guys attention isn't easy. I went to a pretty rough high school and the ugly girls there would literally beat up the pretty girls for attracting male attention through just existing. All girls want the successful, tall and good looking guy but there aren't too many around and they prefer pretty girls, unless they have some weird kink or something.
if you're pretty, you can't be shy
@@ay-tj7pj What makes you think that?
@@ay-tj7pj i think you can, people will constantly give you attention tho. because a lot of it depends on looks, you can not be looking for attention yet till receive it because of your looks., its unwanted attention if you are shy.
This explains a lot about my life. I’ve had almost no female friends because so many women treat me with animosity for seemingly no reason. I never even considered it could be simply due to my shyness plus I’ve had a lot of people call me pretty but not in like a good way. They always say it with some tone of voice I mistook for it being some disingenuous compliment but maybe it was actually out of jealousy? I don’t know but yeah men have always treated me nicer than other women my whole life, which sucks because all I ever wanted was to just have best friends who genuinely cared about me.😢
A sad fact of life: People do judge by appearance and looks are part of that. More attractive people will always have an edge. My male friend had this over me (a man). We both walked into a bar and within seconds the women were all over him. (They ignored me of course). But if you don't feel you have good looks, then bring what you do have to the table - a sense of humour, intelligence, hard work etc. Then you can turn things more in your favour.
there is also a problem of people relying on only their appearance and not ever drveloping their personality
i know a lot of pretty men and women that are nice...but they have no sense of humor or are well spoken to engage in a lot of topics
@@X3nophiliac Agreed I find this kind of thing to be extremely shallow. Also I think people need to remember that "nice" isn't a personality trait.
I’ve always kinda gotten upset when people say that pretty privilege doesn’t exist. Right now, I would say I’m maybe average but when I was going through puberty I was really chubby and just wasn’t pretty at all. Girls I went to church with would laugh at me and point out my weight or clothes and people at school weren’t much better. I developed pretty bad body dysmorphia to the point I’m still dealing with it today. I said all of this to say that being attractive is a privilege. Pretty people are more likely to be uplifted and the opposite cast aside.
Although recently, I’ve started coming to terms that there are pros and cons to being attractive vs. not but it’s been really hard since I’ve always thought that if I was prettier, I wouldn’t have had to been treated that way.
Thank you for this video. I’ll probably come back and listen to it again when I need a reminder that inherited attractiveness is a double-edged sword.
I wouldn't call it privilege, perhaps that's why ppl deny it - not all pretty ppl had it.
Privilege means no cons and only gains.
While my friend has been getting only cons cs she's pretty. Girls hate her and give her stink eye before even getting to know her and she gets called by creeps 24/7. Me? Don't have these problems except getting laid lol.
Pretty "privilege" exists based on the environment you're in and the ppl you're surrounded by.
But I'd rather take no boyfriend over envy, as that is more dangerous from what I've seen.
Why don't your videos get more views😭😭 they're so interesting, you deserve more subs❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you my lovely, hopefully one day🥰
EXACTLY I just found her channel and her videos are so good. She looks at both sides, which shows her intelligence, because she dives deeper
People don't like hearing the truth.
@@PatienceXina I love listening to you, because of your balanced perspective of things. Some people are rather extreme, and it’s a huge turn-off to me because all of their opinion lean one way. In my opinion, even if you arrive at a phase where some of the things you believe are false, if your truly looking for the truth, then you should find it.
@@PatienceXina Your voice is so calming and captivating. I love listening to you talk. What's even better is that you talk about things that matter. Important topics that affect our everyday lives. You actually give us food for thought and make us think about stuff from a deeper perspective, instead of just making content that peaks our dopamine levels. Thank you for the great videos.
“Pretty privilege” as a woman especially, is certainly a double edged sword in terms of unwanted attention. I went to brunch with several girl friends, and I was the only one who felt uncomfortable surrounded by older drunk men who kept staring. We went into the mountains and a truck drove by us, came to a sudden halt and started shouting at me. It’s very scary, and you feel people’s gazes even when no one is looking at you. I’m very self conscious, and being very tall as well I feel like I never feel totally at peace in public because of the fear of unwanted attention. I’m sure most women understand what I mean, and have had similar experiences
Yes! I honestly can’t stand getting unwanted sexual attention from creepy men I don’t want anything to do with but who feel entitled to my time because they liked the way I looked. I am married now so it doesn’t happen as often but it’s honestly so annoying I can’t stand it.
@@unionunicorn6776 it stinks that you have to be married or with someone for it to not be as bad
what is kinda worse than this is being completly invisible to everyone arround you, both ends suck.
@@Patryyyyck i know aint nobody treating u like ur invisible if thats u on ur pfp
@@Patryyyyck I would probably say being invisible sucks 100 times more, I don’t think we can really compare these two things. One has a direct correlation with the rise in suicide rates amongst men, as uncomfortable as being approached because your pretty may be it’s still a blessing not a curse and you don’t see women killing themselves simply because they’re pretty and getting a lot of attention. (Not trying to make this a man vs women thing.)
Pretty privilege is definitely real. When I look good, people are nicer to me, I get hit on more and I feel more respected. On days where I’m maybe wearing pajamas and haven’t done my hair, I notice that people really don’t put any extra effort in being nicer to me, I usually feel ignored. It’s super annoying. I also feel really confident and comfortable wearing baggy/comfy clothes bc I’m not worried about how the outfit looks on me but it still doesn’t change things imo. BUT, it warms my heart to know that no matter how I look, I have people in my life who do not care and will love me regardless😌
Perhaps you should just lower your expectations? They treated you with more respect cause of the effort you put in, in dressing nicer. People appreciate efforts. It means you are used to being treated better than a lot of others, and expect the same when you put in little to no effort in putting yourself together. How can that be?
@@btsarmyforever3816 L comment
"Disney really instilled into us that good people are attractive & bad people are ugly"
I don't know girl; that Evil Queen from 'Snow White' & Maleficent always looked hotter to me than the title characters 😆
I’ve always said this about beauty pageants. People like to belittle and look down on girls who do beauty pageants like they’re so vain etc. I think they’re smart capitalizing on their beauty. They should be able to without being looked down on. Just like smart and athletic people have competitions. In the grand scheme of things all of those things are vain but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take advantage of them. Always be thankful to God for whatever gifts and talents He’s given you.
My only issue with beauty pageants are the _child_ pageants. Young adults and teens want to do pageants? Cool. Just leave the little bitty girls out.
@@theredheadwiththread1275 Agree
@Gamal Elsayed You think girls just roll up out of bed and enter a beauty pageant? That’s funny. Most people who win sports, beauty pageants, intelligence based competitions take a God given gift and push it to its full potential. How is athletics significant?Both are enjoyable but not very significant.
My sister did state pageants for a little while during college, she did well, but MAN did she have to work at it! Learning how to do her hair and makeup impeccably, the endless interview practice and platform promotion and always having to be in a good mood. It isn’t easy. I was so proud of her and her hard work and success!
@Gamal Elsayed I already answered your question.
"Privileges" do exist. A pretty person trying to explain why pretty privilege doesn't exist is like a fish in a fishbowl trying to convince you that water doesn't exist.
"Comparison is, and always will be, the theif of joy" Yes, I totally agree with you on this!
does pretty privilege exist? totally ... should people hate those who are attractive for it? absolutely not! love yourself for what you have, and love goodness for others :3 our lives are too short to be spent on hating random people xD
I have a very good example for this topic. It doesn't matter if it's male or female but people won't go and say, "Hey, I think you're good hearted. Want to go out with me?" But rather, "Hey, I think you're pretty. Want to go out with me?"
Physical appearance plays a HUGE part in society. There's a reason why the bullies are the pretty girls and the jocks and not the nerdy people at the back.
Oh, the nerds bully too, they just can't bully as many people. Why do think needs are such vicious gatekeepers? It's not always about keeping hobbies or interests "pure," it's often about excluding others.
For confidence, its just 10x harder for people that grew up in places that never comment on their appearance or ever compliments them or berates them as they grew up compared to someone that always receive praises for their looks. Whatever the pretty person does would be lessen. I do understand the expectations higher point, but if its a pretty person making a mistake, they will be much easily forgiven. The ones that isnt as conventionally pretty would just get the comment of "of course they would eff that up, what do you expect?" comments.
Even if the unattractive ones does their best, if compared with a pretty one, they would be overshadowed in everyway (though i felt this convo can be brought into gender as well).
I used to think having confidence is the key, until when i went for an interview. There was another very pretty person, and after the interview, i was in the toilet when i heard comments from the shop person in the store and the interviewer, and the interviewer outright stated "of course we should pick that other person" "why? the other one is more qualified." "cus she(me) is not pretty enough for this job"
I was so crashed when i heard that but it can't be helped so i just left real quick after. A letter of rejection is of course, sent to me days later. From then on i cant seem to bring myself to have confidence to take jobs that requires meeting clients to this day.
Oh no ! I am sorry to hear that.
it sucks what happened and is unfortunate but i can't say i don't get it. a pretty person can get good results with clients even i they aren't the most skilled, especially if its a woman and the client is a man. i wish it wasn't this way but its the way the world has always been and probably always will be.
@@justarandompepe8961 Yes. No matter how much advocates speaks up for fairness, i just seriously don't think it will ever be fait in this world. wise pepe spoke the words! >:)
this literally happened to a co worker of mine! she's a sweet older lady probably about the same age as my mom (60s) and she was trying to get this receptionist job at a car shop. there were two younger ladies applying as well and she heard some of the guys saying and I quote "hope we don't get the old lady." like wtf!? so she's not young and curvy but damn!
@@catandrobbyflores Right?? I didn't even put it in my original comment but age too is against us for this :( society be making it as if pass 30 and you can't change/look for a job or something geez :( i hope the lovely lady is all better now!
I'm soooo happy you touched on the expectation people have of pretty people being charismatic and confident then taking it personally when they aren't. It really doubles down on that person's insecurity if people are assuming the worst in every interaction. It can also create a toxic, shallow fixation on appearance/seduction because the only people treating them warmly are those that are completely infatuated. Well rounded take overall I think. I've come to really enjoy watching your videos.
I think the reason why we don't compare pretty looks to people with in born talent is the fact that regardless of whether or not someone was born talented, they still need to do a ton of things to hone that gift. They spend most of their lives dedicated to mastering their craft. Being born pretty doesn't really require you to do more than the average person. A pretty person can go to school with little to no makeup and still look well put together. Singers like Adele or people like Lebron risk a lot to be where they are by putting all their eggs in one basket so if they fail, they'll end up just like the people you mentiond who aren't gifted. While pretty people get options opened up for them simply for existing as an attractive person. I've also seen attractive people get jobs they don't deserve simply because they're the eye candy (ex. popular idols who don't contribute much to their group besides their looks, popular streamers who are mainly known for their looks, etc.) Also, people don't do all sorts of mental gymnastics to defend average looking people the same way they do for pretty people. Just look at Amber Heard, she still has so many fans who defend her despite evidence pointing against her. I honestly doubt people would do all sorts of justifications if a very talented average looking actress was exposed for the same thing. Their talent would be pushed aside in light of the controversy, the same way Johnny (he was attractive when he was younger but ofc now he's a bit more average) was pushed aside when the accusations arose despite being an INCREDIBLE actor.
This! Your right on the money here!
Pretty people don't have to maintain their beauty?
@@lucyhuiii Do you honestly think that maintaining a person's looks is just as difficult as becoming a really good artist? I've seen pretty people in my life who stay pretty while doing the bare minimum aka wash their face and put on a face mask every now and then. Becoming a good singer, actor, or any type of artist takes much more work.
I think it takes a lot more work to be pretty than people realize. If you're unhealthy, your natural beauty will disappear. You have to work hard to maintain your health to keep good looks, just as for athleticism.
Just as a side note, I was gifted with a highly intelligent brain. School work came easily to me, but yes I still had to work to achieve top marks. I don't see why a girl gifted with natural beauty who works hard to maintain that to make the world a more beautiful place should be any less appreciated than I am for simply using the brains I didn't do anything to deserve, either. I think 'smart privilege' goes much further than 'pretty privilege', from my personal experience. And like pretty privilege, it cuts both ways. Just like pretty women may have a hard time making friends, smart girls have difficulty finding boyfriends. It's just how the world works: no one ever claimed life was supposed to be fair.
This might not be a particularly popular or appealing thing to say, but I think I have experienced kind of the opposite of pretty privilege. I'm female, and I am no 10--I have acne, I don't have those perfect proportions when it comes to my body and my face, I don't wear makeup, etc. In short, I don't match the engineered "beauty standard," but I look pretty good, and I BELIEVE I look good. I have a lot of confidence in my presentation, and because of that I've actually gotten a lot of resentment from some of my peers. I've been shut down and locked out of conversations because I'm "so lucky" and "would never understand" struggles with self-esteem or whatever. I am certainly blessed (like you said, I live in a Western country, and that comes with HUGE privilege), but I don't think it's luck that I like my appearance. I think we can all work towards self-love and we can all find something meaningful that gives us confidence, regardless of genetics. It's a choice, and lower achieving people may resent that choice.
9:53 - Quiet and unattractive, I have often been bullied and teased for being shy. This among other things crippled my self-esteem and self-confidence. I am twenty-six years old and still dealing with it.
17:19 - If I lived in a first-world country, I would be able to take care of my health.
I just realized pretty privilege was a thing a few months ago and realized that I’ve had it (I stayed off social media all platforms since I was 17 and I’m now 25) so this was all very new to me via UA-cam. However I’m thankful I stayed off social media because I didn’t grow up focused on my appearance, honestly all me self worth was rooted in academic success. I feel like I recognized my looks just a year ago if that and feel late to the game. Once I realized I have “pretty privilege” it was like a bittersweet feeling. it is a dangerous thing mentally at least if you are considered conventionally attractive because it almost becomes your identity and you fear aging or losing your “beauty” at least in my opinion because you know that you will lose that part of yourself eventually….maybe some privilege will still remain but you will always long for your beauty. I hope this doesn’t sound shallow I’m just being completely transparent.
but if people who are not "attractive" show confidence they are often seen as arrogant or cocky. but i do have to admitt that i kind of always had this believing as a child that bad things just cant happen to beautiful people because it just doesnt match
It's the halo effect.
Attractive guy flirting = romantic
Unattractive guy flirting = creepy
Attractive woman displaying confidence = strong and independent
Unattractive woman displaying confidence = cocky and arrogant
@@GhostSamaritan true goes for both genders
@@GhostSamaritan LITERALLY
Confidence comes from evidence of your abilities not the other way round, in the topic of "Pretty Privileged" pretty people are more confident because they know they're pretty, they've been hearing that their whole life, confidence doesn't come from no where, so for an unattractive person to be confident it has to come from something else, maybe intelligence, wealth or someother significant source, if you have nothing going for you, it's very unlikely to be confident, so with this in mind, pretty people have a very easy and lazy source of confidence and some people just think it's unfair
Omggg I literally wrote something in my notes almost exactly how you said it your conclusion. I see attractiveness similarly to having a talent. Even though attractiveness is perceived in a different way and it still gives advantages to excel with a talent you already have, we should keep the same energy with other talents because I can never have vocals like Whitney Houston but she was born like that. No matter how hard I work, I won’t be better than some people at some things. I think people criticize pretty privilege more because it is like the “talent” you have but barely have to work hard for. It can also open doors for people in situations where you’ve worked equally as hard as someone or even more but they’re chosen over you for their looks. I still believe though that people that excel the most with their pretty privilege do so because they are very hardworking. Not every beautiful person will take care of their skin, dress well, work hard to be a good model or influencer. Not everyone will take advantage of it.
this isn't necessarily against your comment but i just wanted to say people like whitney houston who have beautiful voices have to train over and over and have to be very careful of the way they talk as to not strain their voice. they are in studios all day long and when they are on tour forget about it .....beautiful people just have to show up and exist lollll. and since when does someone with a beautiful voice have the same privilege as someone who is pretty? how can you know someone sings beautiful ?it's not physical information that is offered upon meeting someone the first few times.
Agree
Yep, I disagree with the premise that you barely have to work hard at being pretty. For a time that might work but that time quickly runs out. There is diet, exercise, skin care, etc and if you don't work hard at those things, you can say goodbye to that natural beauty sooner than you think.
I totally agree with you. I don't view myself as pretty most of the time but I do receive lots of compliments due to my appearance. I've had people calling me arrogant and "that mean girl" whatever that means bc I was redrawn and shy. And normally people have weird assumptions and expectations towards people who they find attractive which most of the times its not fun bc they'll bad mouth you without even know you, however, I do think that at a certain extent pretty privilege exists and with it people treats you differently.
It’s true that when a woman is pretty she can be disliked for no other reason than being pretty. It’s also true that people have less empathy for pretty women and their problems are minimised. You’re accused of being stuck up just for being quiet, lol. And there’s always a jealous woman awaiting your downfall but pretending to like you. A man is also more likely to help you out than a woman is. I’m glad that the downside to being pretty was also discussed. It’s often ignored and many believe there are no downsides to being pretty.
Completely agree. People assume the worst of you sometimes even if there is objective evidence.
As a conventionally attractive girl, these past few years have been shocking personally in terms of attention and perception. I'm Bi, and for a good amount of time I had short hair, wore little makeup and dressed pretty .. average? Not super masc, not super femme, skinny jeans and crop tops. You'd guess I like girls. In the past 3 years I've grown my thick wavy hair out and started dressing in a more feminine straight girl way (.. If yall get what I mean? Cute, I suppose more expensive stuff as well) The attention I get has completely shifted. People LOOK. The attention I get from men has *significantly* increased, in a more dehumanizing, sexualizing, nearly impossible to make friends with guys kind of way that was never an issue before. It's gotten more scary as well, I fear for my safety outside of my home and have stopped wearing clothing that accentuates my curves or shows too much skin when I'm alone. The attention from women has gotten worse too, but not in a way I fully know how to articulate.
While I love my big hair and dressing up and feelin cute, desirability has been an extraordinarily isolating, especially comparing it to how friendly others were before. I've considered uglying myself up quite often these days, the attention is paranoia inducing, no joke.
The part about reinforcement because of being attractive, that is very true. I myself have noticed that if someone is attractive they will have, so to speak, less obstacles in terms of peoples initial view of them. When I first started working at my job, the females there didn't exactly like me physically, they didn't say it, but there actions proved otherwise. Long story short, after I started changing a bit, cut my hair, grew out a beard, have been going to the gym (not too much of a visual improvement) and even just carrying myself differently, they've been more receptive. Very interesting how for example women, will invite a guy into their world, on whatever level that invite is, solely on the fact that the guy they're inviting is attractive to the eyes. But if a guy who didn't look like what they might like and he makes an advance or maybe compliments them, they'll look at him like he's a creep or pervert. Not all of course, nothing in this world is all.
You practiced self care. It reflected positively about YOU. THAT is why you were attractive. Alot of people are mad nowadays because even inane tasks like self care are "cutting in on their Tik Tok". You're one of the rarer ones!
I don’t know man 🤷🏼♀️ just sounds like you finally learned basic self care and hygiene. 😅 Unless you were in a depression rut, there’s no reason a man or woman shouldn’t try to look after themselves.
The way you look determines weather you are getting her number or being put on a register. Your either creepy, gross and perverted or bold, spontaneous and charming. I experienced both. In high school I was abnormally tall, lanky and looked like I grew different body parts at different rates. In my early 20's I ended up 6ft6 and in great shape due to sports, gym and thankfully great genetics. In high school girls looked through me, in my early 20's they ran towards me, didn't even have to approach them anymore. For women it is an even bigger deal as guys really don't care much about their career or awesome personality and really just look at their appearance. Then looks fade and if they made bad decisions they end up complaining about men on twitter and experimenting with lesbian relationships with other broken women.
@@Elviladia Gross. Who says he was unhygienic before? And why is it "finally"?
@@m79627 Right, he just said he cut his hair and grew a beard, having longer hair isn't unhygenic and neither is shaving your beard. Not going to the gym isn't unhygenic either. It's not like he said he finally started taking showers and wearing deodorant, or washing their teeth.
Everyone has a different standard of what they consider pretty. People are also visual creatures for the most part. We see first and build conclusions based on what we're seeing extremely quickly. There's a reason you don't show up to a job interview unkempt, smelling, slouching, with bad breathe. It takes effort to "be pretty" and that is subconsciously what people correlate imo. You put effort into your self so you're likely to put effort into other things.
Yep. This, exactly.
I honestly believe “Prison Bae” got a modeling job not because he is attractive, but more so because he was a viral hit on the internet and fashion companies wanted to capitalize off of that. We’re the reason he went viral and the companies are using that as leverage. We can’t say that he got a job because he is attractive if we made him go viral because he’s attractive haha
But he went viral because he is attractive, so doesn’t that mean he got the job because he is attractive?
@@rowanaround1850 not necessarily. The modeling agency is just taking advantage of what the consumers want regardless of how they feel about him. If “the ugliest model ever” went viral, they’d get picked up too bc that’s more eyes and exposure to your company and the clothes they’re wearing. That wouldn’t be pretty privilege.
@@citytomountainsdenyc899 Right, but that’s not why he went viral. Also, plenty of less-attractive people go viral for various things. They aren’t offered modeling contracts.
@@rowanaround1850 why did he go viral?
To my understanding, he went viral bc he’s attractive. But he got hired bc he’s viral. Same thing I’m saying with most unattractive. Yea, unattractive people go viral for many reasons, but for this example I’m asking, what if they go viral for simply being unattractive? They’d get the job for being viral. It’s not about their looks. I hope you get what I’m saying
@@citytomountainsdenyc899 He went viral because he is attractive. He got the job because he is attractive. That’s how it worked out in this case. 😅
Oh my goodness, the quiet thing is so true! I am still a bit reserved but, not like when I was little but, people always assumed growing up that I was stuck up and I have high functioning Autism and I was extremely quiet as a child and still quiet as a teenager.
I’m much more opened now then I used to be and I do smile a lot but, because I’m not “extroverted”, people assume I’m “fake”, or “stuck up”. When people actually get to know me they feel bad because they realise I am what I am.
as an average looking woman with pretty friends pretty privilege is 100% real
My old roommate got arrested for having weed and like 5 pieces to smoke out of. She got 6 months of probation. My other friend (male) was arrested for having a joint roach under the passenger side back seat. He got a month plus a year of probation. Both had no priors, both were arrested in the same town.
Your channel is pure bliss.💖
there's also Tall Privilege. For many many years, men that are genetically gifted for being tall have benefitted throughout their whole lives simply for being Tall.. whether it's sports, dating, job promotions, social status, career opportunities, confidence and physical advantages, etc.
yep pretty priviliege does exist. you get a lot more attention, you have more doors open to you as more people are drawn to you. theres a lot of women who live off men who give them things just because of their looks.
there is also subconscious pretty privilege. you can find statistics on it. for example you can put two same people, same exact people. one is missing front tooth, but have 2 years working experience. the one without missing tooth will be hired no matter job. its statistically one of the worst examples coz teeth matter most of all the features we have including weight. teeth, facial symmetry, eyes, weight/heigh in that order are most important. hair nail etc .. they make very little difference. there is conscious pretty privilege and unconscious one.
I myself have frontal tooth missing. I lost it when I was 19. No, i never did drugs, and didnt even drink till i was 24. I always wondered why noone ever liked me , noone ever hired me. then i found research about implications of frontal tooth missing. and the resuts were shocking. even tho people werent consciously coming to those biases, they would automatically subconsciouslt assume that im not successful, not reliable, not trustworthy. I wish to date. to have a job. to have a life. I will never have those. :( because sadly pretty privilege exists.
@@teaja211 sadly thats the way a lot of things are, it goes for men too, this whole society is so superficial it drives me insane.
@@danjones6702 I mean I agree with them. I also wouldnbt hire toothless person. nor would date. so i cant expect it from others xD
I agree
I’ve watched quite a few commentaries on this topic, and I have to say, I love what you’re presenting here! Love how you explained it and your conclusion, very thought-provoking. And I agree with your points. Acceptance of our unique advantages and disadvantages is key. Life is just the way it is.
It's also kinda like that with students. Students that get average or below average grades will probably be less respected than the students that have perfect grades all the time, but at the same time people will expect more from the good grade students and would be, usually, much more disappointed in them if they would get a low(er) mark than if a student who usually gets lower marks would get the same mark. So basically you can never completely win lol :/
It’s also interesting to note that it’s a spectrum. Most people are a bit above average, or a bit below average. The people on the extremes are the exception and not the rule, and it’s also very subjective. It sounds bad, but I’ve had experiences where I just didn’t like someone’s face for some inexplicable reason 😅
Omg some things you said resonated with me so much! For example, I'm a very shy person... And all throughout high school and university, I found out people talking behind my back and saying I was stuck up and I thought I was better than others and then it got only worse when they invented rumors about me etc... I wanted friends so badly! But I was so shy... And after hearing what everyone said about me, I didn't even want to try to be friends with people that thought those things about me... So now I'm 29, without a single friend, but I came closer to my sister and my mother and that's okay for me... Sometimes I cry and I'm sad that I didn't and I don't have anyone to share things with, but then I just call my sister or I play with my dog and that is ok... My self esteem also has always been very very low, so I don't style myself, I don't wear super fancy clothes... And this was another reason to talk behind my back and, eventually, bully me too ... But what you wanna do, that's life, and we have to be strong and overcome difficult moments ☺️
It is kinda crazy to think that some attractive people can make enough money to never have to work another day in their life by just showing their face and or body on social media for less than 5 years, while there are some people who will have to work just to make it by until they're in their 60's or even longer
I had a bitterness towards pretty people sad to say. Because I went through school with people who were jerks because they were attractive I stayed away. As I got older some pretty females would like to be friends with me so when we went out they got all the attention. So it would honestly surprise me when I met attractive people who were nice. Especially guys. Attractive guys were the ugliest to me. I'm tall, dark skinned and fat so if I rejected their advances they were brutal.
I started working out when I was 16 and people started treating me better and nicer than when I was just a skinny kid. attractiveness DOES matter, especially in this superficial world. it’s not everything though, just be your best self because you’ll never satisfy everyone
I had a lot of "friends" that loved to tell me how much they loved talking to me and admired me , they would say that I was perfect , I had the perfect body , face, grades , exercise routine , that I would eat healthy , behave like an adult ....
But I always told them that I was obcessed with having everything under control and that I wasn´t as perfect as they thought I was. Last year I had a burnout ( a consequence of my obcessive behavior ) , I missed months of school , and when I wasn´t viewed to them as "miss perfect" they left me and excluded me, sometimes they wouldn´t even answer me when i talked to them. Unfortunately this is something that happens a lot , and if you are gowing throw something similar remember that those who left you didn´t deserve you to begin with .
At least now I learned what friends are those people who are with you at your best and worse.
Loved the video ! Kisses from Portugal !!
(sorry if the english isn´t perfect)
Yeah it exists. I lost like 75lbs and everything in my life changed, especially things you wouldn’t think has anything to do with weight.
„Attractive people break the most hearts”. So true haha. But often, it’s not their fault. I mean they can’t get together with everyone that longs for them just with one at a time (usually).
It's not that women care more about their looks , is the fact that if i don't look good men wouldn't even bother to talk to me or be nice // coming from a person that had a glow up and have been treated completely different in the past than I am now
Yeaaaah no, the problem is how pretty privileged is handled in the real world especially work enviorments.
You are looking at it on an individual basis,
there are plenty of great singers that aren't pretty yet you don't see them getting contracts.
We can argue all day about well maybe they aren't doing this or maybe they aren't doing that.
But at the end of the day those that are pretty get handpicked and those aren't have to either give up or work so hard it demoloshes their work ethic to the point they become a workaholic.
I think another problem glossed over is that people aren't saying hey someone who can't sing should have equal opportunity thats not the comparsion that should be made.
The point is that if they are both talented singers looks shouldn't matter and both should have a chance, same with work enviorments not to mention you are glossing over treatment.
Someone who wasn't dealt the pretty card shouldn't be subjected to harsher treatment because they aren't pretty.
People who say those who taut pretty privilege exist because of envy really don't know what its like for folks who don't have it.
People who treat those with this card or talent of magically being born pretty not only treat them better but lessen their mistakes.
Its strange to me people and you made a whole argument about folks just asking to be treated equally and stop making looks the fore front espcially when doing so also helps pretty people from being bubbled and judged unfairly as well.
Im so grateful for UA-cam recommendations that shows me your channel 💜💜
After listening a few of your videos, I am now officially a huge fan. Subbed!!
I'm a new official adult. Turned 18 in October and finished high school in early December. I find your videos so helpful and mind opening in navigating what is a really trick road and the difficult social structure of adulthood. Keep up the good work and keep changing lives with your informational and well though through videos
I discovered you a week ago and I am very impressed and grateful for you videos! Keep up the great work :D
My dad once told me he likes it when i run errands with him bc employees are more helpful when i’m around. made me kinda sad tbh
I have watched two of your videos and you have already changed or at least are making me reevaluate two very strongly held opinions of mine. Thanks! This is some high level food for thought that many people, who aren’t into these niche topics, wouldn’t think about deeply enough for a conversation on this level.
The first opinion of yours that is making me think is that pretty privilege is totally ok.
I’m just going to be honest and open here, I used to think, I had to apologize for pretty privilege. Many envious classmates would have me believe so. Literally, I would dress up in uglier clothes because I thought it would make them happier. No worries, I learned that I should not put myself down back in hs (rather help them up, if they ever wanted).
The second opinion comes from your response to “dating preferences are racist”. One opinion I derive from it: It is ok to work out/go to the gym just to be more attractive to the opposite sex.
During my gym high, I would work out for 4 hours a day (this is probably also where some of the pretty privilege came from haha).
I did it explicitly for only two reasons:
Firstly, my health and secondly, because it is fun. I made sure to never do it for approval. As they say in “Eye of the tiger”, one of the dangers is “changing your passion for glory”. By that I mean, the danger is to become addicted to the approval. The truth is, it is no sustainable motivator.
Putting the approval of girls into the approval box, I wanted to make sure to stay away from it as a source of motivation. I’m still sure, too much can become an addiction that leaves you rather unfulfilled in the end. As I’m writing this out, I realize, I’m going to stick to my approach to working out.
I have to say, you are very wise for your age. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
8:24 Yeah I feel this. Everyone expects me to be really capable of everything and set really high expectations on me the moment we meet. Once they find out I'm humble and don't want to be anything more, they treat me like a dissapointment. Really bothered me throughout school and made me think everyone saw me as a failure.
to 4:50 ... I think it works the other way around too. Healthier people tend to be more attractive. Being healthy, taking care of your skin or working out generally make you more attractive to most people.
The conclusion was great and spot on!! and I like your glasses :)
Thank you my darling!💜
Just found your channel, I love it! you have A great perspective
I parked here at 69k subs, as I write this it's about a few hours later and you are at 70.2 k. Your intellect, deliverance and your voice, it's just easy to listen to you. So refreshing. I found your channel today, randomly and I have subscribed already. And I can't wait to watch some more. Watching your channel grow right in front of my eyes is amazing and speaks volumes on the content your give out. Love it here already.
I just stumbled upon one of your Videos a few days ago and now I can't stop watching ^^ love it!
9:57 ABSOLUTELY! as someone who is quite pretty and attractive (not to sound up myself, it’s just a logical fact of how i’m perceived) in highschool I got so much shit. I had a glow up and was considered by some guys the “hottest”, but I was also very shy. I didn’t speak unless I was spoken to and girls tended to ignore me. For some reason I was assumed to be a huge bitch and I was up myself? From the way I walked? These girls never even spoke to me and I never went out of my way to be mean. Before then, I was considered weird. Then now, I was considered a conceited bitch.
It’s actually quite hard when you have a RBF, social anxiety, and are pretty.
Yeah, girls would often assume I'm a bitch and stuck up - just of my rbf.
It can get pretty frustrating sometimes.
This is so true, I think this is overlooked a lot as well. You do get ostracised or ignored by women because they see you as a threat. My cousin who was/is really pretty, especially as a teen didn't have a great experience. Bullying by girls and being stalked by boys. It's not always as easy as people think.
You are so well spoken and I love how you words things. So smart, such an inspiration. Thank you!
It really is confidence more than anything. If you walk and talk like you're the business, people will generally think it too. My mother told me this eons ago and I definitely have found over the years that she's correct. I went to school and was friends with a classically attractive girl who seemed invisible due to timidness and shyness. On the other hand, I worked with a young woman who was heavier and wore thick (very thick) glasses (classically unattractive) who had this outgoing, larger than life personality, and she had a trail of suitors (I know that word is kinda cheesy but roll with it for now!) after her attention. It's truly amazing to me and pretty cool I think
No, it's not. I know men who are higher on the attractiveness scale but hella shy, to a point that they wouldn't get any attention at all if their attractiveness was slightly more average.
confidence doesn't magically alter your appearance, if you truly think like this you have pretty privilege lol
So well spoken and put together! New sub
I have to say, until this video, I've never even heard of this. Interesting video and must say that I agree with your conclusion. As a kid growing up, I was constantly told, "Life is not fair" and to move on and work hard to achieve my goals but also set realistic goals. I was never going to be a professional athlete because I did not have the physical attributes to be a football player or a famous musician due to the fact I had no musical talent or voice for it...got it, don't set goals for the NFL or Rock N' Roll hall of fame...LOL. Must say though, while I think you are very pretty, you have become far more attractive with your display of wisdom, knowledge and in my humble opinion...keen intellect. I'm glad I found your channel.
As someone who is often told Im conventionally „pretty“ i totally agree to the negative effects. My father always tells my siblings how good they did in smth or how talented they are, but he only tells me how good i look and when i complain about it he says i shouldnt be envious of my sisters. My aunt told me last time i should find a good husband as long as im young and pretty. I often struggle with my self esteem and my worth beyond my looks
Another perspective to view it from is that women will definitely talk about it more because a woman is most likely going to be valued mostly because of her looks especially by men even if she has achieved so much more. A lot of women have been programmed to center their lives around men, getting married. Some people will never find value in life unless they’re able to settle down with a man to start a family. Once that’s the center of one’s life, it’s hard to not center the main attribute that will attract a partner. In that situation, you’ll compare yourself to women that have no issues attracting the best of men even when they’re taken. They enjoy the dating scene more and are able to have options to choose from (some will still choose wrong) but at least they have the options. Achieve all the best things you can in life and if you’re not beautiful as a woman, you’re not the price to many men.
Attractiveness is really a personality thing. It's not based on being physically pretty. Think of Barbra Streisand who was never conventionally pretty, but her sprightly, exuberant persona made her immediately attractive to men and women alike. If you watch Whats Up, Doc? for example, you'll notice that strictly physically, Madeline Kahn may have been prettier than Streisand, but the way their characters act and behave really shifts the sympathy of the audience towards Streisand's character.
another intresting video great entry and well presented thankyou "comparison is the thief of joy " yes! Editing Patience!
Haha thank you Roman!😊
Pretty privilege is definitely real, especially in this social media age. Even if you look at certain face to face customer service jobs like hollister, the criteria was predominately based on looks.
I’ve also seen a social experiment somewhere where a pretty woman would pretend to struggle with her suitcase at the top of the stairs and it would take seconds for someone to help her yet when they used what is deemed as an “average” looking person, it would either take a lot longer or no one would bother to help!
I think what enrages people who benefit from pretty privilege is that they assume when people point out their privilege they are discrediting their competency. Pretty privilege does not mean that you are not capable but rather it means in your field of expertise you have have an advantage over the rest and even those more competent than you.
More in-depth research has indicated that this only extends to men.
In the professional environment very attractive women are actually penalized (unless their job explicitly demands on their looks obviously).
Basically average women are preferred by hiring managers.
Great points but as a counter argument. Most confident people also feel comfortable in their own skin and don't feel the need to dress up super fancy. Second thing to note is that people who are better looking, hence are more confident, can also have negative effects such as being narcissistic.
Hell yeah, it is! Pretty people get away with anything, get instinctively treated better, and will always have better chances at anything.
But no.. there's no point on trying to change things, beauty standards may chane, but the beautiful people will always have it easier, it's part of human nature.
No one who is attractive should succeed in intelligence based occupation but pretty people do get promotion even if they are not good for the job which does not require one to be beautiful .That is where pretty privilege is the problem.
"Life isn't fair and all that you can do is capitalize on your advantages"
You can also give others a hand to capitalize on their advantages too, even if those advantages aren't as great as yours. Everyone has some value. This is one of the deep truths about Christianity that makes it the best foundation for civilized life.
Amen!
Yes. Plastic surgery wouldn't even exist if being pretty wasn't a privilege.
I completely agree with many points in your video!!! Like you said, pretty privilege should be something that ppl get to profit on in an environment where beauty matters. When it comes to ppl getting lesser sentences just because they are beautiful or they get a singing career when they do not have the vocal ability, this is where it becomes a problem.
I agree with everything except if it’s a bad thing or not. In some cases it’s definitely not a good thing, such as attractive people getting a pass for things that they shouldn’t just because they’re attractive.
I loved the video, especially the conclusion where you drew the parallel between other genetically favorable attributes but I had a question... Why did we get that footage of a person riding bike during your closing remarks ? :)
Everyday pretty people look in the mirror, they get confidence, simple.
We really just need to promote critical thinking with ourselves and our children. The discussion of "pretty privilege" tends to demonize attractive people but it's just that too many people judge people for superficial reasons rather than using their brains to make better judgments. But I don't see this changing. People will always be a mess.
I have always said it. Confidence is undeniably sexy. It can change how a person is seen.
Great video. At this point im not even gonna deny that im envious of attractive people :,)
But I do think sucks whenn someone treats 'ugly' people like shit just bc of their looks. Or when literal serial killers have fanclubs bc they're deemed as attractive.
Pretty privilege is real. I had to get used to the better treatment I generally get now as opposed to before when I didn’t fit the beauty standard as much. I don’t really think it’s just confidence, body dysmorphia still affects me a lot to this day, but the halo effect is very real. Sad but true. People who had a ‘glow up’ know how fake others really are. Your criticisms of pretty privilege are also true.
The problem with the singing example is there is an element of skill and training involved with learning how to sing even if you are gifted with a good voice. Their are tons of people who were gifted with great voices but lack the training to truly perfect their sound.
Certain people because of their dna will not be capable of doing [insert activity] no matter what they do. That's just how things are.
I love your channel. It's high quality content, and it's also fun.
im going to be completely honest, im bining your channel and with each video my world view is being shattered over and over again. i wish you great success in your youtube career, and other endeavors❤
I don't know how anyone who has bothered to read scholarly work on this topic would think that pretty privilege doesn't exist. There is so much work that has been done in this field.
I find people who benefit from a certain privilege (insert privilege here) tend to want to downplay the advantages they get because they think it takes away from what they have achieved in their lives.
Absolutely. There's research on this topic which absolutely proves that Pretty Privilege is real. People are in denial because they don't want to acknowledge their privilege or they don't have it and are trying to compensate for that.
If you think it doesn’t exist you’re not living in reality. BUT that doesn’t mean their life is perfect. The halo effect is real then pretty privilege is real.