In my experience they are not toxic to everyone. They are toxic to those who are close to them. Everyone else might think they're a harmless and good natured person. It's important part of narcissistic abuse as it means it can be hidden. But abuse is still abuse.
Totally agree with you as the mother in law did just that and it was awful to my relationship with my partner as he suffered and I ended up having to pick him up allnthe time because of what she had done to him. When she died the whole family turned against him right down to his own daughter. It's been over a year of hell for the both of us.
Yes, true, and people who do not know her tend to consider them as perfect gentle and sweet person as they are so strong to give an image of perfect person of herself. At the point that those people do not even understand why you are in such a pain in your relationship with such a wonderful peson.
They NEVER EVER apologize or admit they are wrong; Even when they are called out or you have proof....then will do anything to never take accountability for their actions!
My former manager was like that once I approached to her and talked about the coworkers that were stalking me where I knew my female surpevisor was involved in it. My female manager revealed herself that she knew about it and that it was mishandled. I knew about the stalking for at least 2 months. She didn't apologize to me even though I was trying to fix their mess and trying to forgive them. My manager seemed like she wanted to put it under the rug and forget about it. I put my 2 weeks notice right away because I didn't know if the CEO was involved as well and so I left the company. 3 weeks later CEO quits the company. A new CEO gets hired a month later. HR quits 2 months later without putting a 2 weeks notice even the gossipers within the company were surprised why she quit all of the sudden. 3 months later the manager gets fired by the new CEO.
Even about dumb trivial stuff! I mentioned a fact once, my ex didn't believe I was right, then when I linked her to proof I was right she told me to shut up and not in a playful way. It was a petty little thing, but she was so angry I proved her wrong about something.
Best advice! It's almost impossible to get out once they know your weaknesses and how to seduce you. I had to change my number delete all my social media accounts ect. and I still blocked her number just incase, they suck your soul and happiness right out of your body.
There is one thing that people REALLY need to accept about them. They DON'T change - ever. They're very comfortable in who they are - no matter what they project outwardly. The female covert likes to pretend she's the victim of everything - even herself. She'll over-emphasize her struggles with depression, etc., for sympathy and attention. She doesn't deal with life. She just suckers other people into doing that FOR HER.
@@teresaamos271 I've dated a bunch of them over the decades - and even, foolishly, married one when I was in my 20's. I learned the hard way. It was a messy divorce (with kids - who she alienated from me). Now, I have grandchildren who don't even know I exist - and never will.
@@Axess-sv8nq Man, my heart goes out to you brother. Right after my ex and I broke up I repeatedly asked myself how did I end up having children with who is potentially the worst person I'd ever been with. I ended up losing my home and other assets being with this toxic woman. Now, I have my little ones just 2 wknds a month and the alienation is becoming progressively worse to where my son cries when I pick him up for the wknd. My daughter and I have a stronger bond & I'm really hoping/praying she doesn't change. It's so unfortunate that we typically find out about this disorder only after we've been involved with them. This behavioral issue needs to be taught constantly from 2nd grade through HS and should be a prerequisite college course for all majors.
@@diontrott4876 Hey man. Sorry you had to deal with the nonsense as well. I also lost my home and a lot of things I owned - which I had to sell to get a place to live. I was married in Vermont where the woman always gets the kids and the house. You can hope that your daughter's bond with you doesn't change. But, that's up to her. Your ex-narc will try to destroy that bond. I guarantee it. They're nasty. I remember one I dated after I got custody of my kids for a few years (after my ex neglected them). She used to try to make the kids feel bad about me because I wasn't doing my chores around the house fast enough. They're all screwed in the head. All of them. I wish I knew about narcs before 2018. I would have avoided them all if I could have recognized the red flags. And I DEFINITELY wouldn't have moved in with, or married, ANY narc.
Some of these attributes sum up my ex wife to a Tee. My ex basically alienated me from everyone we knew and turned my eldest daughter into a mini version of herself. I lost everything but thankfully my bond with my kids is great now as they are older. One thing I did do is never say anything bad about her or drag my kids into the reason i walked out. Maybe when they have their own lives I'll explain. Who knows.
The 10 points of the female narcissist are: 1. Extremely competitive (I’ve noticed this is common in male narcs too.) 2. Overly concerned about her appearance. Superficial. 3. Extremely jealous. (All narcs are.) 4. Overly sensitive to criticism. 5. Uses her sexuality to advantage. 6. She will manipulate you with punishments. (An expert at the silent treatment.) 7. A shameless disregard for boundaries. 8. She is materialistic. (Likes to provoke others to be envious of her.) 9. She is a drama queen and loves Dramas. 10. She will pit people against each other. Excellent summary and points. To which we could add: 11. Highly dismissive of the achievements of others. (Dismissiveness of others achievements is one of the principal aspects of the narcissist. A stock in trade as it were.)
Absolutely agree. The Narc in the family didn't go to our own brothers wedding because she said it was not good for her mental well being. She texted him the day before the wedding. Her issue is that she was upset she wasn't the maid of honor so she decided not to go. Such bizarre behavior.
"Funny" though...those witches ALWAYS "get" a man. The victims spend their lives alone,crippled,sick,suicidal...and often overweight, which birth giver uses to further degrade and humiliate them with. Well, if you are told from moment of birth how "fat/ugly/disgusting" you are, guess what ??? YOU BECOME OVERWEIGHT. So next time you want a "hot" broad, take a cold bath and date the "fat" girl. I guarantee you, you will have a good and peaceful life.
My ex-girlfriend was mad because I wouldn’t introduce her to my family only after 2 weeks of dating. And she flat out told me to my face that she thinks boundaries are pointless and stupid. And after watching this video, she literally show cased all these traits, within 2 months of dating.. I ran for the hills! I’m lucky. I dodged a bullet.
@@slothnugget4107 - I’m so proud and happy for you. It’s not easy taking that first step but when you do and succeed, savor those moments. It’s life changing AND for the better.
My mother was a narcissist. So cruel and wicked. She would beat me nightly to the point i would wet the bed till i was 16 with fear. I left and moved as far away as possible but she still managed to carry on the smear campaign against me. When i married and had my first child she told everyone she wasn't my first child. My heart just broke knowing she would carry the abuse toward my daughter. She died alone with none of her 4 children having any contact. I didn't shed at tear as horrible as is sounds i was relieved.
I'm so sorry for your experience with your mother!! I hope your life is better now and I'm sure you have a wonderful relationship with your child/children. God bless you.
Narcissism is one of the few conditions where the true victim is left alone in a complete state of emotional terror; and isolation, while everybody flutters around the emotional terrorist, and dotes on them. Whereas the true victim often walks away from their war-torn family, only to have a complete psychotic breakdown. The entire family turns their back on the scapegoat in their time of need. Members who once supported the scapegoat have become victims of brainwashing and now believe in the lie. Not one single family member will check to see if the scapegoat is ok - and nobody tries to find them; because nobody cares. To be betrayed by those who are supposed to love you is a pain that is nearly indescribable. This is the nature of the narcissistic family unit. So many families are divided because of this epidemic. Only those of us who have walked this path can understand the depth of our suffering. Narcissism is EVERYWHERE…. not just in families. It’s an epidemic. You don’t even have to be related to one. They are EVERYWHERE.
She was demonically influenced. She needed an exorcism. Unfortunately these people don’t realize it or they refuse the help. They have to want to change. If they go for help and won’t change after the help, they will be taken over again by demons and be 7 times worse than before. Matthew 12:43-45.
Narc mothers are capable of unspeakable evil Sarah. My mother shook my baby sister so hard when she'd cry because she was hungry that it caused her brain damage. She'd also let her father & her middle aged brothers rape my sisters from the ages of 8 & 9 & then she called them ungrateful when they reported their mistreatment to the Police to get them imprisoned. My youngest sister (that doesn't have brain damage) openly admits that if she ever sees our mother again that she's going to strangle her to death.
100% true. I’ve received so more abuse in my life from women other women than men. Women can also be just as violent as men although they do it by proxy through false accusations, gossip, triangulation and slander.
100% of narcissistic men were created by their narcissistic mother... Men couldn't have evolved being narcissistic...we would have died off as a species 100,000 years ago
Narcissism is a "personality disorder." Personality disorders are the most difficult to change because the really BELIEVE that there is nothing wrong with THEM. I was brought up to be a "nice guy" and a "gentleman," and a "giving" person. This caused me to be a MAGNET for narcissists. It took me a LONG time to realize that it wasn't something wrong with me other than I was tolerating it.
I date a narcissist rn but it's not a big deal because I'm am also a narcissist but the only difference is I know I am and she doesn't act like she knows she is but I can definitely say there are zero boundary control in women
My ex wife once told me I don't like your boundaries or agree with them 😂. Her boundary was, you are making me feel stupid. I never said it or acted that way. It was all projection and it was very sad and just a mind screw for years
This comment is so on point my ex narc gf one once told me that should would never stop contacting me no matter how much I ignore. The crazy part is that she knows that I have a gf
It's quite common for people to be aware of these people but still end up being thrown into their realm of manipulation and gaslighting. Some woman are very good at manipulating men even smart men.
I’m sure I was married to a female narcissist for 11 years leading me to bankruptcy. It took intervention by friends and family to take me out of that relationship. Now after 10 years of separation, divorce and bankruptcy she is reaching out to me through texts, being super nice, loving, friendly and totally complimentary. She knows my buttons! I feel like she is spinning her web entrapping me in her her attractive web! It’s still difficult to resist!
Your not the only former supply in her phonebook receiving those lovely texts. All her ex lovers are. It does change from your past relationship with them the 1st go around will seem like a cakewalk when compared to this 2nd or 3rd time around
Your experience is so similar to mine with me ex-wife who is a narcissist: entitled, not apologetic, manipulating the kids against me, lier, deceiver, brainwashing the kids, and the list goes on. I divorced her 7 years ago and around 3 weeks back asked me if I wanted to buy a house with her??? I said what, really, are you asking that, there is not a way I would fall into the same disaster again. Unfortunately the kids are in the middel, and obviously that bond has to be maintained. I wish I didn't need to deal with her anymore, unfortunately I had to, until my kids get older.
This explains why my achievements were completely disregarded. I couldn't understand why I never got even one word of praise or encouragement. Complex.
My ex wife was jealous of the attention I was getting from friends, when I was diagnosed having a tumour in my neck . It was actually strangling my spinal chord . I will never forget her comment after I had my diagnosis after an MRI scan . In tears she said what shall me and Beth do if you die . ( Beth was our dog ) anyway I survived and had custody of the dog .
I've looked into Narcissism a fair bit when I suspected a female 'friend' of mine of being narcissistic. Unfortunately, I was her supply. Your video just summed everything up perfectly. I am happy to say that I am no longer the supply she craved.
After 2 restraining orders, 4 months in jail, 6 months house arrest... I am convinced she was sent from the fiery pits of hell. So glad to have her out of my life.
My mom and I are both redheads and she told me when I was a baby, people would stop and say how beautiful my hair was and she said every time it happened she'd be thinking "what about MY hair?" I couldn't believe a mother could be jealous of a baby; I'm so proud of my dog when she gets complements so how much more proud would I be of my child.
Thts the part tht scared me a mother being jealous of her own child thts sick! Thts wht really made me cut her off. Cause tht is uncomfortable and twisted to be around a mother who is jealous of their daughter. Wht the hell is going on. I want nothing to do with her.
Yes, their behavior is startling to the uninitiated. I recall being around 6-8 years old. A lady at a house party commented on me being cute. My mother snapped at the lady to not "swell [my] head" with compliments. As a child, I remember the shock on the lady's face. It all makes sense now.
They don't care about your feelings when you tell them how you feel! If they don't like what you are saying they will ghost you....then randomly reach out as if nothing even happened!
1. Extremely competitive (for attention) - even with children and family 2. Overly concerned about Appearance (also how people around her look) 3. Extremely jealous (and thinks everyone else is deeply jealous of her) - two-faced and talks behind everyone's back 4. Extremely sensitive to criticism (not even constructive) - no reality 5. Uses sexuality to her advantage (like money used by Narc men) - inappropriately flirt and have affairs with people around - No Ethics or Morals 6. Punish with manipulation - cut off sex and abandon, withhold affection 7. Disrespect boundaries (acts like she is doing you a favor) 8. Materialistic - to make her feel superior 9. Drama Queen (get bored quickly) 10. Put people against each other
You nailed it. Was married to a woman whom I thought was my soul mate. She has just about all of these symptoms. Left me with C-PTSD and Stockholm syndrome. I'm all better now and so much the wiser.
I’m sitting here trying to decide if my ex is narcissist. She tried to take my soul I believe. Can’t decide if she is or not though… she exhibits a lot of this stuff but not all of them. I’m thinking she’s just ultra selfish and not really narc. Zero empathy though. Thankfully our daughter is much more like me than her mother.
Wow!! I am dealing with the PTSD and Anxiety right now! Any advice you can give me to help me get through this would be terrific. I am being told I have Stockholm syndrome as well…
I once offered my opinion to my sister when she called me. It wasn't what she wanted to hear. Her response was "your opinion means absolutely nothing to me" in the meanest tone she could muster up while on the phone. At the time I was upset with her cruel words. It was shortly after this that I decided to avoid any communication with her. That was over 30 yrs ago.
Boy can I relate. My narc sister is the ultimate gaslighter, and the only one who has ever suffered anything...Just like our narc mother. Zero support for me when I was massively under the gun mentally, emotionally and physically, and she took the side of the man who was abusing me...That was the last time we spoke. Just finally realized I'd never get any love from her because she doesn't know how.
@@eagleeye2300 My family and I have recently included her son in all holiday dinners. He moved for a job to our side our Canada. It didn't take long for my sister to write 1, 2, then 3 different letters to me with a long list of decades-old accusations, lies, and basically her projections. I didn't respond. This of course prompted #2nd and third rant. I copied each letter and gave them to my family and friends. I am actually grateful (after the initial shock and confusion) to have this kind of evidence to share. No one else knew how intense her manipulative behaviors were with respect to me growing up. I have to say they were shocked at the content. It gave even more peace of mind for my thoughts of her and her nonsense
Excellent job… a key factor is superficial in all narcissists…. No depth to their personality… they may be shiny, but they do not sparkle… to sparkle you have to have multiple facets; a mirror is shiny, a diamond sparkles.
Me too. I've stayed single for 20 years because I had a parent like this and then married my husband with the same traits. I don't trust people or my judgement anymore so I decided to stay single. I keep to myself except I only spend time with my son. He doesn't want to see his Dad anymore since he's had enough.
Nailed it again! Very well said! One trait my ex had was that she always had negative opinions of almost every one! If you want to piss off an opinionated narcissist, ask them what makes them think their opinion has any value? 2 years 8 months no contact!
My older sister is a fine Narssist specimen. I cut off contact in1990. With all that I have learned in the last few years, it was the single most beneficial decision for my sanity. Fortunately, she moved to the other side of the country in '90. She will suck the life out of anyone in her path.
My ex’s family honestly had nothing positive to say about anyone. It was amazing, I’ve never met such negative people, yet they’ll tell strangers how brilliant they are.
I cried hard watching this I was living this every day of my life while trying to get and keep my life together I lost it all trying to love a narcissists broke my heart 💔 over and over thinking what am I doing wrong I'm trying so hard to make her happy and nothing was ever enough thank you for teaching me this makes me feel so refreshed knowing that I'm not some broken man who doesn't deserve love
I get it man. But even after you figure it out, and it takes a long time even when you start to research wtf is going on, the worst thing is realizing the person you fell so deeply in love with isn't even real..a fkn chameleon who bacame what she figured you needed. In love with a ghost,a nobody.
I know that feeling. I struggled with this for years. I just now have finally had my eyes opened and realize it was never me. I'm 2 months free and working on finding myself again and putting that behind me for good
I come from the other side and I know what you mean. They can make you crazy if you fall for it for to long. Good job getting out. Get to know her before making magic and getting sucked in. See how she responds to challenges. Are how she treats people and watch what they say about others. They actually show you how they will treat you in the previous supply that's getting kicked was your getting picked up. It's sickening. I'm sorry you weren't thorough that but I'm glad you have learned from it and survived. Good luck and God bless. You are lovable, don't let anyone tell you otherwise
Hi Jill Wise: "Good People Nothing is a Problem; Bad People Everything is a Problem " Your list of 10 TOXIC BEHAVIORS is greatly appreciated - I have witnessed these 10 TOXIC BEHAVIORS! Thank you for your effort to consolidate and communicate the 10 TOXIC BEHAVIORS! I am so sorry to hear that you suffered emotionally at the hands of TOXIC people in your childhood and marriage. You set yourself FREE! You healed yourself! You are warning and waking up people! Thank you!
You just described most of the toxic women I've known and avoided in my life except my mother. That's why I had a happy, healthy and prosperous life as a single 65 year old man. 😃👍
I come from the other side being a codependent in recovery. Unfortunately our house nature draws them in. You really have to get to know them before you start making magic. I wish you only the best and I'm glad you have peace in your life. A life with peace is so different than the life of hell with a person like that.
Astonishing truth! I have been married to this woman for 40 years. But she had a little boy and I had been an orphan and he needed a dad, A wise man long ago said; "love your enemies" it has made me A better man. That you for sharing your Wisdom. What a beautiful Gift of a day, cheers
They love to “catch” codependent empaths and drain them of their spirit. It’s like they cast a spell. I’m watching the beginning stages happen to a friend of mine and I’m horrified.
As an empath, I was on the receiving end of being "drained of my spirit" & it felt like torture--from my mom when I was young, my raging fiance who I left, a female bully manager & finally my engineer narc/misogynist husband who I've divorced. I have my radar on to stay a safe distance from narcassists now & finally feel "free"!!
U just described my ex wife 1000% for a long time I thought she was just immature WRONG Learned the hard way glad I’m free of it. But I Paid a Heavy Heavy Price years of mental damage before it was over!!! Watching this helped me Thank You ✌️going to share this with my kids 💯
I remember being friends with a couple of narcissist gals who had no problem throwing friendships "under the bus" (The overly competitive part) when it came to getting a guy's attention, job, etc. At the end, I left both situations because when the trust is no longer there, it's clear the friendship is over.
holy crap I've been out of the relationship for 3 weeks now and I can't believe I didn't put together seeing ALL TEN of these behaviors over the two years we were together. It was #7 (disregarding boundaries) that finally pushed the relationship over the edge, she (mercifully) discarded me and I was able to go grey rock after that and ignore the dozens of texts/emails/phone calls that followed once I started to get educated on this. Thank you Jill!
My ex female narc is the most evil person I have ever dealt with. She nearly caused her eldest daughter to take her own life. She told me with zero remorse or emotion.
Yes, unfortunately I have had to deal with this, the cursing and screaming, and she once tried to stab my kitty with a knife., hit me in the head with a brass pot, punch me in the face and gave me a black eye. Tore up my clothes, books, and makeup. She is 65 now and still does this. I am no contact now.
As a man, I left my narcissistic wife of 27 years. I felt powerless. I let her become the “boss” in our family. No boundaries and enjoyed ridiculing me in front of our children. After years in therapy I left one day. I woke up, packed my clothes, my dog and moved in with my elderly father. 4 year divorce process with countless delay tactics. Still unresolved but I’m free from the horrible drama. I nearly lost my soul. Be strong and remind yourself who you really are. You are good and have value to the world.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were speaking directly to me about my ex. If any of you out there find yourself in a relationship with a person like this, GET OUT NOW. I am so happy and fulfilled now that I am rid of her.
Yea same 4 years with a female malignant narsisst, 2.5 years alone to recover then meet and marry the girl of my life for the first 3 years then started to slowly change, 5 years together now and ive just put it all together recently covert female narsissist and i trained in and have a counselling degree, with a focus on cluster b personalities, its like the narc was dormant and and triggered when she felt dissapointed that i decided on a carrer change
This is so true Jill, but toxic is just toxic,if something just don't seem right or you just can't put your finger on listen to your intuition and observe don't absorb and once you know you go you get out and you stay out 🙏🦋.
I had one so pathologically envious she tried to set me up for failure !!!! She was constantly dishonest, manipulative and deceitful !!!!! She got pleasure from my pain !!! Rotten to the core !!!!!
I just screamed for 15 minutes straight because every single word of this describes my wife of 10 years....and explains 90% of everything that has ever seemed impossibly bad in my life. OMG
Jill, my Grandmother (malignant) AND Mother (combative). I did my due diligence; Mother FINALLY passed at 97. I was in my 70's STILL being her caregiver (slave) who could NEVER do anything right. Until her last day on earth she was STILL talking me down. Hope statement helps someone
This comment certainty helped me Margie. I'm 61 now. I went no contact 4 years ago. Your comment encourages me to stay no contact. Because they don't change.
God Bless You. Hopefully you can step into newness of life, such that I am looking for and we can enjoy the time we have left. I am 37, my mom is 67 and I know she will live another 30 + years and probably out live me but I wont be around to see it and they will have a hard time finding my corpse by the time I get done running. Even being housed and fed by these people, you feel so homeless and alone. My the Lord Bring Us His Light Upon Our Future!!
@@rossdoshna2675 What else would someone do?? I didnt get to choose my parents or the things they choose to teach me, of which none was useful and most was false/lies. I wasnt going to be the person (disrespectful/worthless) they were accusing me of being before I atleast tried very hard and many times to please them. I have done everything I could to get the Good Lord to bring me home, but I guess I havent suffered enough for him to see it fit. Its the only thing I have known, I was raised and trained to obey, regardless
You have just described my elderly Sister. She is all 10 traits/ behavior !!! She caused so much damaged to me and my life… . Thank you so much for your videos.
Me, too, dear one. My sister is 8 1/2 years older and ruined the first 50 years of my life. I am now trying to enjoy my own elder years without her. But I am so resentful, it’s not easy. 😢
@@christinalw19 we all need to learn to stop putting people up on a pedestal. Even our children. If we do that and they reject us, or do something to disappoint us, then it breaks our hearts. I learned that my dreams for my children were not their dreams. Once I figured that out, I was able to move on and make new dreams for myself. I am at peace and I started a new life in another state, near my original family, which is my brothers and their wives and family. I had over 30 family members at my house last Thanksgiving. I then had 20 people over at my house for a Christmas Ornament Party the next month. We all had a blast. Several of my friends from California have come to visit me where I live now. We have such a good time together too.
@@christinalw19I'm 57, mine is 21 yrs older, she had no children by choice, used me as a substitute as part of her fake life. With the understanding of my partner and these channels I'm learning to become immune. 🇬🇧💕
This description fits my ex wife exactly. Especially the over dramatizing , she would laugh hysterically and a slightly humourous commercial , and burst into tears while talking about something that hits the feels a little bit. Obsessed with wealth and wealthy people, she spent money like it was water, everyone was trash in her opinion, would deliberately and repeatedly do stuff to agitate me, then I was the outrageous mobster when I got fed up and reacted.
I have dealt with this exact situation for the last 43 years. I have walked away from it for the last 3 months. I am feeling so much happier. I must have been brainwashed to put up with what I did. I am getting stronger every day and I hope that everyone who ever dealt with this situation will get away from it!
I'm sorry to hear that but no contact is the only way you keep them from doing their thing. I'm grateful I don't have any cluster B's in my life right now. I was married to a covert narc, my brother was one and my mom and sister were and are borderline. I still have a hard time relaxing from having been around them and many more.
Unfortunately, I've taken in some stray cats in my time. Was going through some major surgeries, and trying times needing help with the house and bills. I've finally moved from the area. 🙏😇
Welcome to the club - now that the constant drama is over, no doubt she will try to call, write or otherwise contact you to worm her way back into your life. Hang up when she calls, mark her letters ' return to sender ' , and run silent, run deep. The peace of mind gained will be so much worth it - and don't get pulled into any guilt trip laid on you by siblings - leave them alone and live your life in peace and tranquility.
Old comment I see but it's rare to see other kids of mother narcs. I too had to finally close the door ....on my own mom and most people don't get how I can be so cruel.
Wow… every thing you tell is spot on… the laziness … and drama .. spending someone else’s money… etc … mega right .. thank you ! Greetings from Holland 🇳🇱.
"Wow"... Is an absolute understatement!!! I don't even know how I ran into this video, but it was right on time... This video is absolutely SPOT ON ACCURATE!!! I definitely needed to hear the information provided, it explains literally EVERYTHING!!!
This video perfectly described one of my ex lady friends. She was (and probably still is) very beautiful, but unfortunately, it went to her head. She won the genetic lottery. Long legs, perfect smile, pretty face, and that gave her the right (in her mind) to treat everyone like they were beneath her, including me. Snobbish, condescending attitude, and blatant jealousy towards her younger sister (she nicknamed her "the Golden Child" behind her back and it wasn't a compliment). She went to church on Sundays, but only to keep up appearances, which was a point brought up in the video. My family and friends saw through her right away and told me for months to get rid of her, but hey, I was in love. I don't even want to get into all the gaslighting and double crosses she put me through, because that would take all day. And needless to say, she never took accountability for anything. The manipulation she put me through drove me crazy. The worst was when she tried to convince my family to take her side against me once I finally stood up for myself and called her on her BS. Ah well. Life goes on. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and do our best to avoid toxic people like this.
My Mother was always ill and dying a complete narcissist hypochondriac she laid guilt upon guilt to control us. She will be 92 years old end of March 2023 and has outlived everyone on both sides of the family and is in good health. I still love her very much I just learned to ignore the control aspect and appreciate the good parts of her soul.
@@kalintiniim married to one and i loved her until she start showing her true colors and omg was it evil! Just mean, Aggressive, crying when you tell them the truth, over Dramatic! And please someone tell me why do i have the feeling as if she cheated already.
I am 61 divorced after 30 years you couldn’t be more spot on and I wish I had this information 45 years ago and save myself a lifetime of trouble everything you said here is true I’ve experienced it all with her
In these modern times, you're still a 'young' man'. There are plenty of good women looking for a real man to have a fulfilling, joyful life with! Stand up straight and pull those masculine shoulders back, you're more than able to conquer the world with your charisma and determination. God bless you!!
WOW! You perfectly described one of my siblings. To the unsuspecting, she's the well-rounded and well-intentioned, perfect person ...only she isn't. She's quick to swoop in and solve your problems and become your "best friend". She understands the power of exploiting social media to publicly (fake) praise her friends and family, always seeming to have a kind comment or symbolic gesture to throw their way. She understands how to pit people against each other while at the same time pretending to be the stable one who "cares". Narcissists are masters of illusion and deception, which is how they get their prey to relax their guard. It took over 50 years to escape the family connection to a Toxic Narcissist, but I finally walked away. No more drama, gifts, superiority, games, and/or gaslighting. P.S. That particular sibling is well known for saying to her husband, "I'm not feeling special!", which means he better go out and buy her something nice or she'll unleash her wrath on his life. She has him well trained and, of course, he complies.
Don't ever take a gift from these wackos. I told them....there will be no B-day dinners or gifts...and for Christmas, I have no interest in exchanging gifts. It's important to let these idiots know, "you are not letting them in" with mere gifts.......usually cheap gifts that you didn't need or want....proving, that no thought about you went into the gift.
I was with my ex-girlfriend for 13 months not knowing in the earlier stages of our relationship that she was a narcissist, it became the most difficult time of my life and stressful, the games she played were centralized to her benefit and controlling using her methods that were so natural to her. Anyone who is in a relationship with a narcissist and trying to break away I will tell you be strong and expect her texting you (love bombing) because it will come your way, block her on your phone, Facebook and any other way of contact. If you surrender then the pain and game will start all over again.
Congratulations on getting away. The silver lining to that cloud is you have a better chance of not getting with another one. And when and if you get a with a decent person you will have gratitude. Good luck my friend.
100% spot on. I cannot believe how well this relates to my experience. I keep asking my whether i'm going mad. Am i really married to a narcissist. This video describes my wife almost 100%. Unbelievably you are describing the experience of my wife. Amazing
Married to a female narcissist and going through the divorce. She is always the victim in any situation, home, work, relationships, you name it and the other person is someone she always points to as a narcissist. Always concerned with her looks and always jealous of every other person on the planet. Bad enough that my son had to come to me and point out that I was the abused person in the marriage and that I needed to do something.
Thank you. My ex who I suspect has NPD of the covert variety accused me of being the narcissist after suffering almost 30 yrs of his abuse. I was always very docile toward him until I realized what he had done to me and my life. I exploded at him, which I now know was the wrong thing to do. Now I'm the narc in his eyes and he's gone no contact. It was just his excuse to detach and abandon me. Anyway, thank you for showing me that I am NOT a narc, although I already knew that. He made me question everything about myself. I'm currently attending regular therapy and also trauma therapy twice a week. I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Moving on with my life and will be taking steps to make sure that this toxic evil person can never find me again.
@@jerrylisby537650B women gave birth and everyone is dead...it's not so special... Mother's should be credited on performance...they don't own their children
When you talked about approaches, I can relate to that. My ex- girlfriend was like that. She dumped me the first time because she did not like the way I was dress. Said it made her looked bad when we were together. My clothes were brand new. Dumped me seven times, taking me back the next day. Fake Discard.
2:33Competitive 5:20Keeps up appearances Church 7:59. Portrays self as perfect 8:42Flaunts sexuality and flirts alot. 10:00Silent Treatment,With holding attention.
It would be so good to find a good woman who is not a narcissist. A narcissist is bad news period. Stay away from them. They will ruin your reputation and your life as well.
Especially a narcissist who's a Jezebel type. There's plenty of those types teaching their wrong judgments today, as relates in Rev.2:20 These are the last days, where there's a noticeable increase of lovers of themselves and false accussers, spoken of in 2TIM.3:1-3
THANK YOU! This was confirmation of something that I've known personally for years but I had a hard time convincing even myself of the truth. Hearing a "professional" describe these traits was so relieving. She may not have had 100% of the traits you describe, but what she had, she had in spades. She was VERY good at convincing people that SHE was the victim (I call her a "professional victim"), using them, the stabbing them in the back. I was married to one of these for 9 years. When it was good, it was really good. We had four children. She was so good at convincing even me, and others, that I was the villain. That I was the problem. I hung on for 8 years more than I should have because I knew the courts would give her custody, and I needed to somehow protect my children. (Yes, in spite of all the propaganda to the contrary, there are men who care about their children.) She left anyway. In the end, she didn't have to try too hard to convince others that I was a bit flaky--I was. Trying to rationalize the irrational, and years of my ego telling me that some how, some way, I could find a way to fix the unfixable, will do that to you. It took me another 2 years to finally realize that *I* was NOT the problem. NINE MORE YEARS in the courts to get custody. The courts were so stuck on "the kids belong with the mother." Thee tries, bankruptcy, bad lawyers later I was finally so broke that I could not afford the lawyers, and went to the library and studied up on the divorce/custody laws that I WON the case that my lawyer, who was later nominated to be a Federal Judge could not win. When I finally got them out of the ghetto that she had them living in, they were seriously damaged. Many years later, although I was able to correct much of the damage, there is still a lot. The kids have mostly woken up to what she is now. Last I heard, she is in an "assisted living facility"-- alone.
I was only in for 3 months but in those 3 months.. I lost my savings, my self confidence, and myself. Atleast I was able to break up with her eventually but by that time I was already tapped out of everything. 5 months it took me to get my feet back on the ground. I could only imagine what years does to a person.. the love bombing is a hard thing to shake.
I was in a relationship for 4 years. It wasn’t until I started going to therapy myself and started to speak up about her lack of accountability, which was non existent. Is when we really started going down hill. I have been blaming myself for years and wonder why I could never make her happy. Why able to be see I was being manipulated and this wasn’t all my fault. I finally let go! It was super hard but I needed to get myself back.
Thank you! So many of these types of video portray narcissist as a male. Again, thank you. I had met a woman years ago who I was attracted to but felt I just couldn't trust. Fortunately, I was in and out of this relationship in only three months. No empathy, shame, responsibility, or respect for anyone. She was entitled, boastful, self-centered, manipulative and an instigator. Of course, she spread sugar over anything so I wouldn't focus on any of this. I walked away, thankfully, as I could not longer make excuses for her behaviors. Good luck to all that have much more investment in the narcissist than I had.
Thank you for a Wonderful Video! The Silent treatment, the abandonment, the rejection by my mother are the wounds I am working on right now. This really helped!
Please remember it had nothing to do with you, that was her crap. If it wasn't you it would be someone else. Chin up please eyes on the future. :) You're a survivor now :).
Thank you for this video. When I went though this, I had no idea what narcissism was. I found out about the lies and cheating via text messages. When confronted, The narc expressed no remorse, but instead anger. She was mad I found out and then held her accountable by throwing her out. So two narc injuries. She begged me for marriage counseling. I reluctantly agreed. During six sessions, never took any accountability. Consequently, to this day no apologies. Also, I would learn later, not only was she still betraying me with the “old friend”(during counseling), she started a two year affair with one of my “friends”. He was also married. I think he may be a narc too. It’s sickening to know how entitled and evil these people are.
Yes thats my mother and the 2 step moms I had. Its no wonder I thought all were that way until I kept marrying men just like them. Single now and aware. 12 yrs NC with mom. The two step moms died horribly.
My mother was a narcissist, I never really understood the true nature of her being a narcissist until I married my husband, he keep telling me what she was, I looked into this and he was right she was, I had gone through hell growing up around her. It had taken years of therapy to understand the beatings the vile name calling and the hate in her, I had nothing to do with her did not go to her or go to her funeral, I have never fell so free when she died, I’m a 64 year old and never would I ever forgive her, to the day I die.
Learn to forgive her for yourself. Narcs are victims of childhood traumas they did not deserve. Forgiveness will help give you peace. In no way would that forgiveness be for her or in honor of her! Do it for you! 🍀
@@williamcoppage7847 thank you for you’re understanding of narcissist, has gave me comfort I had and never could forgive my mother, but have come to term’s with what she had up us as children through, it took a lot of years but I had got my life back together.
You have a good husband for telling you. My mother was a narc as well but I didn't realize until years after she died. Videos like this are what taught me
The mother of my kids was a narcissist. Nothing was ever her fault and she would never say sorry for anything or take any kind of responsibility. Everywhere she went she caused problems and would say horrible stuff about other people behind their back including me. I was and am a great father and husband but she would say ugly stuff about me that wasn't true to other people and I could never figure out why. I could tell she was always jealous of any of my accomplishments . She also slept with friends and family our whole relationship and ended up with my best friend.
@@vodkavuitton not sure if this was directed towards me but if it is I pay no child support because I have full custody of my kids. The woman ended up a .junkie and had since passed away.
1) extremely competitive / wants to be viewed as the best 2) obsessed with her own appearance /image 3) jealous and want people jealous of her 4) overly sensitive to criticism 5) uses her sexuality for manipulation 6) comply or get cut off from sex, affection, communication 7) shameless disregard boundaries 8) materialistic 9) drama queen 10) triangulation
You nailed it 100%! I wish I had known all this information thirty years ago. What I've been learning from your channel and other channels on UA-cam about this topic has been so staggering and incredibly helpful. Thank you!
The best defense against any Narc is being prepared to walk away from any person who isn't respecting you. Respect yourself by projecting you yourself are a person who respects yourself, a person who will not tolerate their behavior. They will do two things if you're in this mindset: 1. Not bother with you to begin with or... 2. Have respect for you by not pushing you too hard. Because they'll know you'll leave or just cut them out. Never forget these are the most predictable people alive. Use this tip to be prepared when in their presence and ultimately keep yourself safe.
Excellent video. All 10 points are simply explained. Two things stood out for me as profound: Narcissists have "their own version of reality". This includes revisionist history. This is WHY you should NEVER get involved with any Narcissist (male or female). You are expected to bend to their will, to adopt their false narrative (toxic and manipulative). Secondly, "Yes" they always take the path of least resistance. Example: The female Narcissist cheating with a friend or family member of their current spouse. As you said, they are lazy. And they ALWAYS triangulate others into their messes......ALWAYS.
Triangulation is a form of codependency. Narcissistic supply is a form of codependency. Cluster Bs are absolutely codependent. This is WHY no contact is the ONLY solution. You must break your half of the codependency bond.
They are great at revising history to fit their delusional grandiosity. Funny how....they can be the fattest, dumbest, most wrong morons.....with major fuck ups........and somehow, they just can't believe that they were wrong, obtuse, far from competent. Like a black hole with fun house mirrors lining the tunnel to nowhere.
This describes my ex like she was the poster child of this definition. She was so much fun when I first met her and she was very positive and chill. Then out of the blue would blow up out of nowhere about literally absolutely nothing but give no explanation at first what the fight is about and especially unwilling to attempt to resolve whatever the non existent issue was to begun with. Would find petty reasons to start fights toward the end of every week then disappear Friday night and not even talk to me again until Sunday. Introduced her to my best friend of 20 plus years and took her over to his house with me twice then realized two years later she had gotten his number from him and had been taking to him "as a friend" unbeknownst to me the entire time. Found this out when he began showing up to her house constantly every single day. She would belittle me in front of him then after a while she must have gotten to him mentally as well because he literally went crazy on her and threatened her with her dad and her daughter trying to pit everyone against her and flat out telling lies about me completely out of left field. Absolutely inappropriate lies that finally ended our friendship as well. She was a master manipulator with men and every single one of her ex's completely lost their cool with her after they broke up and I can vouch for that first hand. One year of no contact with her anymore and regretting I didn't leave her sooner.
This is an absolutely perfect description of my ex's mother. What a disaster she was! I really made the best decision of my life by leaving him and her
Girl exactly same here. Among many other things that she did is she put a thablet under a blanket and asked me to sit next to her. And guess what i didnt see the thablet vecause it was under the blanket and sat on it. And then she made a whole drama that i wupposedly broke the thablet. And that i need to buy a new one and im like lets just fix it. Nothing is broken on the outside maybe just the screen cable slid out and it will be a cheap fix. No. She insisted that i need to give her 800$ for a new thablet. My ex stood on her side and thats why he is an ex now
Wow... If I had any doubts about my female "best friend" they're gone now. Point for point she matched these examples. I'm glad she's out of my life. Finally feeling peace about it. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you soo much for making this video. I have been dealing with narcissists my whole life and you helped me remember that I am not a narc like all the narcs keep telling me I am when they are acting abusive..
They are all bad experiences, but I feel like the female keeps coming back. In my experiences the male will disappear, but the female does not. Pure evil.
if they want us to admire everything about them why do they push those people away with insults and disrespect? wouldnt it make more sense to keep been nice to continue getting that much needed supply of admiration?
In my experience they are not toxic to everyone. They are toxic to those who are close to them. Everyone else might think they're a harmless and good natured person. It's important part of narcissistic abuse as it means it can be hidden. But abuse is still abuse.
So true,!
Exactly, sick covert behaviour without any honesty in what that say and what they are actually doing
This my ex wife refused to let sick mom move in and I said why so she cannot see how you treat me?
Totally agree with you as the mother in law did just that and it was awful to my relationship with my partner as he suffered and I ended up having to pick him up allnthe time because of what she had done to him. When she died the whole family turned against him right down to his own daughter. It's been over a year of hell for the both of us.
Yes, true, and people who do not know her tend to consider them as perfect gentle and sweet person as they are so strong to give an image of perfect person of herself. At the point that those people do not even understand why you are in such a pain in your relationship with such a wonderful peson.
They NEVER EVER apologize or admit they are wrong; Even when they are called out or you have proof....then will do anything to never take accountability for their actions!
OMG I don't like those words BUT yes NEVER EVER
My former manager was like that once I approached to her and talked about the coworkers that were stalking me where I knew my female surpevisor was involved in it. My female manager revealed herself that she knew about it and that it was mishandled. I knew about the stalking for at least 2 months. She didn't apologize to me even though I was trying to fix their mess and trying to forgive them. My manager seemed like she wanted to put it under the rug and forget about it. I put my 2 weeks notice right away because I didn't know if the CEO was involved as well and so I left the company. 3 weeks later CEO quits the company. A new CEO gets hired a month later. HR quits 2 months later without putting a 2 weeks notice even the gossipers within the company were surprised why she quit all of the sudden. 3 months later the manager gets fired by the new CEO.
Looks like asbergsyndrom besserwissers and almost never wrong. Or is it just narcissistiskt?
Even about dumb trivial stuff! I mentioned a fact once, my ex didn't believe I was right, then when I linked her to proof I was right she told me to shut up and not in a playful way. It was a petty little thing, but she was so angry I proved her wrong about something.
So true
The best way to deal with a narcissist is to not deal with them at all. Get as far away as you can.
Good advice!!
Exactly
The best way of all time to deal with female narcissist..
Tq for your advice👍👍👍
Best advice! It's almost impossible to get out once they know your weaknesses and how to seduce you. I had to change my number delete all my social media accounts ect. and I still blocked her number just incase, they suck your soul and happiness right out of your body.
@@peterbuilttough3406 My Satan was a suckubus. the didn't
There is one thing that people REALLY need to accept about them. They DON'T change - ever. They're very comfortable in who they are - no matter what they project outwardly. The female covert likes to pretend she's the victim of everything - even herself. She'll over-emphasize her struggles with depression, etc., for sympathy and attention. She doesn't deal with life. She just suckers other people into doing that FOR HER.
😮🤭🤭😮😮😯 gosh, you are 💯% correct. Description to a T. Same here.
@@teresaamos271 I've dated a bunch of them over the decades - and even, foolishly, married one when I was in my 20's. I learned the hard way. It was a messy divorce (with kids - who she alienated from me). Now, I have grandchildren who don't even know I exist - and never will.
@@Axess-sv8nq Man, my heart goes out to you brother.
Right after my ex and I broke up I repeatedly asked myself how did I end up having children with who is potentially the worst person I'd ever been with.
I ended up losing my home and other assets being with this toxic woman. Now, I have my little ones just 2 wknds a month and the alienation is becoming progressively worse to where my son cries when I pick him up for the wknd. My daughter and I have a stronger bond & I'm really hoping/praying she doesn't change.
It's so unfortunate that we typically find out about this disorder only after we've been involved with them. This behavioral issue needs to be taught constantly from 2nd grade through HS and should be a prerequisite college course for all majors.
@@diontrott4876 Hey man. Sorry you had to deal with the nonsense as well. I also lost my home and a lot of things I owned - which I had to sell to get a place to live. I was married in Vermont where the woman always gets the kids and the house. You can hope that your daughter's bond with you doesn't change. But, that's up to her. Your ex-narc will try to destroy that bond. I guarantee it. They're nasty.
I remember one I dated after I got custody of my kids for a few years (after my ex neglected them). She used to try to make the kids feel bad about me because I wasn't doing my chores around the house fast enough. They're all screwed in the head. All of them. I wish I knew about narcs before 2018. I would have avoided them all if I could have recognized the red flags. And I DEFINITELY wouldn't have moved in with, or married, ANY narc.
Some of these attributes sum up my ex wife to a Tee. My ex basically alienated me from everyone we knew and turned my eldest daughter into a mini version of herself. I lost everything but thankfully my bond with my kids is great now as they are older.
One thing I did do is never say anything bad about her or drag my kids into the reason i walked out. Maybe when they have their own lives I'll explain. Who knows.
The 10 points of the female narcissist are:
1. Extremely competitive (I’ve noticed this is common in male narcs too.)
2. Overly concerned about her appearance. Superficial.
3. Extremely jealous. (All narcs are.)
4. Overly sensitive to criticism.
5. Uses her sexuality to advantage.
6. She will manipulate you with punishments. (An expert at the silent treatment.)
7. A shameless disregard for boundaries.
8. She is materialistic. (Likes to provoke others to be envious of her.)
9. She is a drama queen and loves Dramas.
10. She will pit people against each other.
Excellent summary and points.
To which we could add:
11. Highly dismissive of the achievements of others. (Dismissiveness of others achievements is one of the principal aspects of the narcissist. A stock in trade as it were.)
Absolutely agree. The Narc in the family didn't go to our own brothers wedding because she said it was not good for her mental well being. She texted him the day before the wedding. Her issue is that she was upset she wasn't the maid of honor so she decided not to go. Such bizarre behavior.
I work with people that fit this criteria
My mom and unfortunately a health professional I had to work with for 4 months. I saw through it and was discarded. Thank you
"Funny" though...those witches ALWAYS "get" a man. The victims spend their lives alone,crippled,sick,suicidal...and often overweight, which birth giver uses to further degrade and humiliate them with.
Well, if you are told from moment of birth how "fat/ugly/disgusting" you are, guess what ??? YOU BECOME OVERWEIGHT.
So next time you want a "hot" broad, take a cold bath and date the "fat" girl. I guarantee you, you will have a good and peaceful life.
12. Makes false police reports to present herself as a damsel in distress.
My ex-girlfriend was mad because I wouldn’t introduce her to my family only after 2 weeks of dating. And she flat out told me to my face that she thinks boundaries are pointless and stupid.
And after watching this video, she literally show cased all these traits, within 2 months of dating.. I ran for the hills! I’m lucky. I dodged a bullet.
You did very good 💖💯
Smart decision. So proud of you. Thank you for sharing. It’s been one month since you posted your comment. I trust the ex is still an ex?
Don’t ever go back to her please!🙏
@@DinFL yes the ex is still an ex. It’s been 6 months now and I am so happy!!
@@slothnugget4107 - I’m so proud and happy for you. It’s not easy taking that first step but when you do and succeed, savor those moments. It’s life changing AND for the better.
My mother was a narcissist. So cruel and wicked. She would beat me nightly to the point i would wet the bed till i was 16 with fear. I left and moved as far away as possible but she still managed to carry on the smear campaign against me. When i married and had my first child she told everyone she wasn't my first child. My heart just broke knowing she would carry the abuse toward my daughter. She died alone with none of her 4 children having any contact. I didn't shed at tear as horrible as is sounds i was relieved.
I'm so sorry for your experience with your mother!! I hope your life is better now and I'm sure you have a wonderful relationship with your child/children. God bless you.
Narcissism is one of the few conditions where the true victim is left alone in a complete state of emotional terror; and isolation, while everybody flutters around the emotional terrorist, and dotes on them. Whereas the true victim often walks away from their war-torn family, only to have a complete psychotic breakdown.
The entire family turns their back on the scapegoat in their time of need. Members who once supported the scapegoat have become victims of brainwashing and now believe in the lie. Not one single family member will check to see if the scapegoat is ok - and nobody tries to find them; because nobody cares. To be betrayed by those who are supposed to love you is a pain that is nearly indescribable. This is the nature of the narcissistic family unit. So many families are divided because of this epidemic. Only those of us who have walked this path can understand the depth of our suffering. Narcissism is EVERYWHERE…. not just in families. It’s an epidemic. You don’t even have to be related to one. They are EVERYWHERE.
She was demonically influenced. She needed an exorcism. Unfortunately these people don’t realize it or they refuse the help. They have to want to change. If they go for help and won’t change after the help, they will be taken over again by demons and be 7 times worse than before.
Matthew 12:43-45.
Narc mothers are capable of unspeakable evil Sarah.
My mother shook my baby sister so hard when she'd cry because she was hungry that it caused her brain damage.
She'd also let her father & her middle aged brothers rape my sisters from the ages of 8 & 9 & then she called them ungrateful when they reported their mistreatment to the Police to get them imprisoned. My youngest sister (that doesn't have brain damage) openly admits that if she ever sees our mother again that she's going to strangle her to death.
@@carpathianken that’s so horrible. I am sorry that happened.
Society's focus is CONSTANTLY on narcissistic men, but the fact is that narcissistic women are rampant!
You are absolutely. Correct
They are evil! I have 3 grown sons...I think they're strong enough to handle themselves. ❤❤❤
100% true. I’ve received so more abuse in my life from women other women than men. Women can also be just as violent as men although they do it by proxy through false accusations, gossip, triangulation and slander.
100% of narcissistic men were created by their narcissistic mother...
Men couldn't have evolved being narcissistic...we would have died off as a species 100,000 years ago
Exactly
Narcissism is a "personality disorder." Personality disorders are the most difficult to change because the really BELIEVE that there is nothing wrong with THEM.
I was brought up to be a "nice guy" and a "gentleman," and a "giving" person. This caused me to be a MAGNET for narcissists. It took me a LONG time to realize that it wasn't something wrong with me other than I was tolerating it.
Same here brother. Put myself through years of narcissistic abuse just to be discarded and my self confidence stolen.
feel that
The only thing wrong is that we don't know how to pick a good one.
Is that why I get friendzoned by 90% of the women I ever seem to get close to? Used and taken for granted.
@@chuckdawg2799 I'm0k
"Shameless disregard" for your boundaries is an understatement.
I date a narcissist rn but it's not a big deal because I'm am also a narcissist but the only difference is I know I am and she doesn't act like she knows she is but I can definitely say there are zero boundary control in women
My ex wife once told me I don't like your boundaries or agree with them 😂. Her boundary was, you are making me feel stupid. I never said it or acted that way. It was all projection and it was very sad and just a mind screw for years
@@CarEnthusiastMasteri call em crazy makers
Especially if gang up on 1. Take Care 🩷
This comment is so on point my ex narc gf one once told me that should would never stop contacting me no matter how much I ignore. The crazy part is that she knows that I have a gf
Glad to see this video. Our society seems to spot a male narcissist or psychopath readily, but we seem to have a blind spot for the female version.
The covert or vulnerable narcs are hard to spot. I lived with one for 20 years. It took another 20 to figure it out. They are very good at deception.
Very true! The most narcissistic people I know are women. For some reason people over look it often.
Yes, unfortunately.
It's quite common for people to be aware of these people but still end up being thrown into their realm of manipulation and gaslighting. Some woman are very good at manipulating men even smart men.
The females are more dangerous because they can hide behind femininity and gender, and the “victim play” is more accepted.
I’m sure I was married to a female narcissist for 11 years leading me to bankruptcy. It took intervention by friends and family to take me out of that relationship.
Now after 10 years of separation, divorce and bankruptcy she is reaching out to me through texts, being super nice, loving, friendly and totally complimentary. She knows my buttons!
I feel like she is spinning her web entrapping me in her her attractive web! It’s still difficult to resist!
Two words: Don't engage. Been there. They won't stop until you're dead.
RESIST anyway. They Never EVER change.
Your empathic side makes u feel sorry for the devil.. That's actually sad but I hope you'll remind yourself why u left
Your not the only former supply in her phonebook receiving those lovely texts. All her ex lovers are. It does change from your past relationship with them the 1st go around will seem like a cakewalk when compared to this 2nd or 3rd time around
Your experience is so similar to mine with me ex-wife who is a narcissist: entitled, not apologetic, manipulating the kids against me, lier, deceiver, brainwashing the kids, and the list goes on. I divorced her 7 years ago and around 3 weeks back asked me if I wanted to buy a house with her??? I said what, really, are you asking that, there is not a way I would fall into the same disaster again. Unfortunately the kids are in the middel, and obviously that bond has to be maintained. I wish I didn't need to deal with her anymore, unfortunately I had to, until my kids get older.
This explains why my achievements were completely disregarded. I couldn't understand why I never got even one word of praise or encouragement. Complex.
My ex wife was jealous of the attention I was getting from friends, when I was diagnosed having a tumour in my neck . It was actually strangling my spinal chord . I will never forget her comment after I had my diagnosis after an MRI scan . In tears she said what shall me and Beth do if you die . ( Beth was our dog ) anyway I survived and had custody of the dog .
😂👏👏👏👏
YAY !!!
Thank God you survived (both) !
@@johnmay2461 thank you John
Fucking hell. I’m so glad you survived your illness AND the bitch.
I've looked into Narcissism a fair bit when I suspected a female 'friend' of mine of being narcissistic. Unfortunately, I was her supply. Your video just summed everything up perfectly. I am happy to say that I am no longer the supply she craved.
After 2 restraining orders, 4 months in jail, 6 months house arrest... I am convinced she was sent from the fiery pits of hell. So glad to have her out of my life.
Oh yes
damn man shameful witch
Damn…. That’s really a shame
I bet it was still worth it.
Wow
My mom and I are both redheads and she told me when I was a baby, people would stop and say how beautiful my hair was and she said every time it happened she'd be thinking "what about MY hair?" I couldn't believe a mother could be jealous of a baby; I'm so proud of my dog when she gets complements so how much more proud would I be of my child.
Thts the part tht scared me a mother being jealous of her own child thts sick! Thts wht really made me cut her off. Cause tht is uncomfortable and twisted to be around a mother who is jealous of their daughter. Wht the hell is going on. I want nothing to do with her.
Yes, their behavior is startling to the uninitiated. I recall being around 6-8 years old. A lady at a house party commented on me being cute. My mother snapped at the lady to not "swell [my] head" with compliments. As a child, I remember the shock on the lady's face. It all makes sense now.
@@rpm6391 Thts crazy! I don't like tht kind of stuff it makes me want to throw up.. It's sick!
😬
Holy shit! All 3 of my children get non stop compliments! It makes me proud! Never once jealous.
They don't care about your feelings when you tell them how you feel! If they don't like what you are saying they will ghost you....then randomly reach out as if nothing even happened!
Exactly
100% what my ex did.
Disappeared for 3 months and out of the blue started talking to me like she never left 😂😂
1. Extremely competitive (for attention) - even with children and family
2. Overly concerned about Appearance (also how people around her look)
3. Extremely jealous (and thinks everyone else is deeply jealous of her) - two-faced and talks behind everyone's back
4. Extremely sensitive to criticism (not even constructive) - no reality
5. Uses sexuality to her advantage (like money used by Narc men) - inappropriately flirt and have affairs with people around - No Ethics or Morals
6. Punish with manipulation - cut off sex and abandon, withhold affection
7. Disrespect boundaries (acts like she is doing you a favor)
8. Materialistic - to make her feel superior
9. Drama Queen (get bored quickly)
10. Put people against each other
That’s the type of comment that is valuable!
ONEEKA MARAJ !!! 😂😂😂
You nailed it. Was married to a woman whom I thought was my soul mate. She has just about all of these symptoms. Left me with C-PTSD and Stockholm syndrome. I'm all better now and so much the wiser.
What is CPTSD ?
I was left the same way. First the Stockholm, then CPTSD after the divorce
In the Stockholm stage currently
I’m sitting here trying to decide if my ex is narcissist. She tried to take my soul I believe.
Can’t decide if she is or not though… she exhibits a lot of this stuff but not all of them. I’m thinking she’s just ultra selfish and not really narc. Zero empathy though. Thankfully our daughter is much more like me than her mother.
Wow!! I am dealing with the PTSD and Anxiety right now! Any advice you can give me to help me get through this would be terrific.
I am being told I have Stockholm syndrome as well…
I’ve dealt with women like this more than once. This video has captured the experience very well.
I'm curious.
Do you know any Karens?
I once offered my opinion to my sister when she called me. It wasn't what she wanted to hear. Her response was "your opinion means absolutely nothing to me" in the meanest tone she could muster up while on the phone. At the time I was upset with her cruel words. It was shortly after this that I decided to avoid any communication with her. That was over 30 yrs ago.
Wow. Good for you. 👍🏼 I am a very slow learner. 😔
@@christinalw19 I was 30yrs old when I had enough!
You made the best decision.
Boy can I relate. My narc sister is the ultimate gaslighter, and the only one who has ever suffered anything...Just like our narc mother. Zero support for me when I was massively under the gun mentally, emotionally and physically, and she took the side of the man who was abusing me...That was the last time we spoke. Just finally realized I'd never get any love from her because she doesn't know how.
@@eagleeye2300 My family and I have recently included her son in all holiday dinners. He moved for a job to our side our Canada. It didn't take long for my sister to write 1, 2, then 3 different letters to me with a long list of decades-old accusations, lies, and basically her projections. I didn't respond. This of course prompted #2nd and third rant. I copied each letter and gave them to my family and friends. I am actually grateful (after the initial shock and confusion) to have this kind of evidence to share. No one else knew how intense her manipulative behaviors were with respect to me growing up. I have to say they were shocked at the content. It gave even more peace of mind for my thoughts of her and her nonsense
I am a guy - watched many narc videos - this one really exposed the female narc - I won;t get fooled again - Thank you so much
That's what I thought........
Excellent job… a key factor is superficial in all narcissists…. No depth to their personality… they may be shiny, but they do not sparkle… to sparkle you have to have multiple facets; a mirror is shiny, a diamond sparkles.
Well said!❤
I am a solitary person for 8 years since my relationship, every example was used and it changed me forever.
Dyson, I'm right there with. I'm only 1 year out from mine. Like you, my life has been changed forever.
Me too. I've stayed single for 20 years because I had a parent like this and then married my husband with the same traits. I don't trust people or my judgement anymore so I decided to stay single. I keep to myself except I only spend time with my son. He doesn't want to see his Dad anymore since he's had enough.
@@jacquelineglitter4328 , it’s sad loving humans have to keep isolated from a toxic world! I live alone but I am not lonely!
Nailed it again! Very well said! One trait my ex had was that she always had negative opinions of almost every one! If you want to piss off an opinionated narcissist, ask them what makes them think their opinion has any value? 2 years 8 months no contact!
My older sister is a fine Narssist specimen. I cut off contact in1990. With all that I have learned in the last few years, it was the single most beneficial decision for my sanity. Fortunately, she moved to the other side of the country in '90. She will suck the life out of anyone in her path.
My ex’s family honestly had nothing positive to say about anyone. It was amazing, I’ve never met such negative people, yet they’ll tell strangers how brilliant they are.
Our ex's may be twins😂
I’m about to get out of mine thank you 3 years 🤦🏽♂️
🙌🙌🙌😘. Yes indeed!!
This is a very good description. The general public should be made to watch this to protect themselves. Thanks
I cried hard watching this I was living this every day of my life while trying to get and keep my life together I lost it all trying to love a narcissists broke my heart 💔 over and over thinking what am I doing wrong I'm trying so hard to make her happy and nothing was ever enough thank you for teaching me this makes me feel so refreshed knowing that I'm not some broken man who doesn't deserve love
Never let a woman break you. You're first mistake was thinking love is like a Disney movie, and women are princesses. Nope! They are not!
I get it man. But even after you figure it out, and it takes a long time even when you start to research wtf is going on, the worst thing is realizing the person you fell so deeply in love with isn't even real..a fkn chameleon who bacame what she figured you needed. In love with a ghost,a nobody.
I know that feeling. I struggled with this for years. I just now have finally had my eyes opened and realize it was never me. I'm 2 months free and working on finding myself again and putting that behind me for good
I call bs.
I come from the other side and I know what you mean. They can make you crazy if you fall for it for to long. Good job getting out. Get to know her before making magic and getting sucked in. See how she responds to challenges. Are how she treats people and watch what they say about others. They actually show you how they will treat you in the previous supply that's getting kicked was your getting picked up. It's sickening. I'm sorry you weren't thorough that but I'm glad you have learned from it and survived. Good luck and God bless. You are lovable, don't let anyone tell you otherwise
Yup! Ya knows of what you speak. 58-year-old man and a proud survivor here. Everything you said is dead on. You nailed it gal.
Hi Jill Wise: "Good People Nothing is a Problem; Bad People Everything is a Problem " Your list of 10 TOXIC BEHAVIORS is greatly appreciated - I have witnessed these 10 TOXIC BEHAVIORS! Thank you for your effort to consolidate and communicate the 10 TOXIC BEHAVIORS! I am so sorry to hear that you suffered emotionally at the hands of TOXIC people in your childhood and marriage. You set yourself FREE! You healed yourself! You are warning and waking up people! Thank you!
My wife and I just get rid of a narcissist from our lives. She was hitting all points you have described. I feel so proud of our decision.
You just described most of the toxic women I've known and avoided in my life except my mother. That's why I had a happy, healthy and prosperous life as a single 65 year old man. 😃👍
Yes sir
I come from the other side being a codependent in recovery. Unfortunately our house nature draws them in. You really have to get to know them before you start making magic. I wish you only the best and I'm glad you have peace in your life. A life with peace is so different than the life of hell with a person like that.
Astonishing truth! I have been married to this woman for 40 years. But she had a little boy and I had been an orphan and he needed a dad, A wise man long ago said; "love your enemies" it has made me A better man. That you for sharing your Wisdom. What a beautiful Gift of a day, cheers
You.have described these creatures extremely well. Dangerous creatures and deadly evil.
They love to “catch” codependent empaths and drain them of their spirit. It’s like they cast a spell. I’m watching the beginning stages happen to a friend of mine and I’m horrified.
SPELL is correct. They are WITCHES. Witchcraft consist of SPOKEN WORDS. Rescue your friend !!!
My girlfriend had me thinking that I was the narcissist for a while and it brought my entire spirit in downfall.
Yes.. happened to me.
Well said. I still don’t know how stupified or stupid I was. I got stripped to a husk.
As an empath, I was on the receiving end of being "drained of my spirit" & it felt like torture--from my mom when I was young, my raging fiance who I left, a female bully manager & finally my engineer narc/misogynist husband who I've divorced. I have my radar on to stay a safe distance from narcassists now & finally feel "free"!!
U just described my ex wife 1000% for a long time I thought she was just immature WRONG Learned the hard way glad I’m free of it. But I Paid a Heavy Heavy Price years of mental damage before it was over!!! Watching this helped me Thank You ✌️going to share this with my kids 💯
I remember being friends with a couple of narcissist gals who had no problem throwing friendships "under the bus" (The overly competitive part) when it came to getting a guy's attention, job, etc. At the end, I left both situations because when the trust is no longer there, it's clear the friendship is over.
holy crap I've been out of the relationship for 3 weeks now and I can't believe I didn't put together seeing ALL TEN of these behaviors over the two years we were together. It was #7 (disregarding boundaries) that finally pushed the relationship over the edge, she (mercifully) discarded me and I was able to go grey rock after that and ignore the dozens of texts/emails/phone calls that followed once I started to get educated on this. Thank you Jill!
She has boundaries but you can't have any boundaries
Wow. You really do know your female narcissist. I wish I knew this information years ago. Thank you.
You have no idea of the depths of evil they will go to, in order to manipulate.
My ex female narc is the most evil person I have ever dealt with. She nearly caused her eldest daughter to take her own life. She told me with zero remorse or emotion.
You are not alone my friend
Yes, unfortunately I have had to deal with this, the cursing and screaming, and she once tried to stab my kitty with a knife., hit me in the head with a brass pot, punch me in the face and gave me a black eye. Tore up my clothes, books, and makeup. She is 65 now and still does this. I am no contact now.
@@leonaneighbour5604 Good for you.
As a man, I left my narcissistic wife of 27 years. I felt powerless.
I let her become the “boss” in our family. No boundaries and enjoyed ridiculing me in front of our children.
After years in therapy I left one day. I woke up, packed my clothes, my dog and moved in with my elderly father. 4 year divorce process with countless delay tactics. Still unresolved but I’m free from the horrible drama.
I nearly lost my soul.
Be strong and remind yourself who you really are. You are good and have value to the world.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were speaking directly to me about my ex. If any of you out there find yourself in a relationship with a person like this, GET OUT NOW. I am so happy and fulfilled now that I am rid of her.
Lived with this for 4 years and it destroyed me...5 years later I'm strong as ever and so glad I won't make the same mistake
Yea same 4 years with a female malignant narsisst, 2.5 years alone to recover then meet and marry the girl of my life for the first 3 years then started to slowly change, 5 years together now and ive just put it all together recently covert female narsissist and i trained in and have a counselling degree, with a focus on cluster b personalities, its like the narc was dormant and and triggered when she felt dissapointed that i decided on a carrer change
Good for you
I lost my job to a lady who was a narcissist. She went to my boss after I did not marry her and married someone else
This is so true Jill, but toxic is just toxic,if something just don't seem right or you just can't put your finger on listen to your intuition and observe don't absorb and once you know you go you get out and you stay out 🙏🦋.
I had one so pathologically envious she tried to set me up for failure !!!!
She was constantly dishonest,
manipulative and deceitful !!!!!
She got pleasure from my pain !!!
Rotten to the core !!!!!
Nicki Minaj putting her flying monkeys on your back for childlike entertainment to maintain her false godlike status
I just screamed for 15 minutes straight because every single word of this describes my wife of 10 years....and explains 90% of everything that has ever seemed impossibly bad in my life. OMG
Jill, my Grandmother (malignant) AND Mother (combative). I did my due diligence; Mother FINALLY passed at 97. I was in my 70's STILL being her caregiver (slave) who could NEVER do anything right. Until her last day on earth she was STILL talking me down. Hope statement helps someone
This comment certainty helped me Margie. I'm 61 now. I went no contact 4 years ago. Your comment encourages me to stay no contact. Because they don't change.
You are not alone. Thanks for sharing.
God Bless You. Hopefully you can step into newness of life, such that I am looking for and we can enjoy the time we have left. I am 37, my mom is 67 and I know she will live another 30 + years and probably out live me but I wont be around to see it and they will have a hard time finding my corpse by the time I get done running. Even being housed and fed by these people, you feel so homeless and alone. My the Lord Bring Us His Light Upon Our Future!!
Why did you put up with it?
@@rossdoshna2675 What else would someone do?? I didnt get to choose my parents or the things they choose to teach me, of which none was useful and most was false/lies. I wasnt going to be the person (disrespectful/worthless) they were accusing me of being before I atleast tried very hard and many times to please them. I have done everything I could to get the Good Lord to bring me home, but I guess I havent suffered enough for him to see it fit. Its the only thing I have known, I was raised and trained to obey, regardless
You have just described my elderly Sister. She is all 10 traits/ behavior !!! She caused so much damaged to me and my life… . Thank you so much for your videos.
I have a sister-in-law just like this too. All 10 traits.
Me, too, dear one. My sister is 8 1/2 years older and ruined the first 50 years of my life. I am now trying to enjoy my own elder years without her. But I am so resentful, it’s not easy. 😢
@@christinalw19 we all need to learn to stop putting people up on a pedestal. Even our children.
If we do that and they reject us, or do something to disappoint us, then it breaks our hearts.
I learned that my dreams for my children were not their dreams. Once I figured that out, I was able to move on and make new dreams for myself.
I am at peace and I started a new life in another state, near my original family, which is my brothers and their wives and family.
I had over 30 family members at my house last Thanksgiving. I then had 20 people over at my house for a Christmas Ornament Party the next month. We all had a blast. Several of my friends from California have come to visit me where I live now. We have such a good time together too.
@@christinalw19I'm 57, mine is 21 yrs older, she had no children by choice, used me as a substitute as part of her fake life. With the understanding of my partner and these channels I'm learning to become immune. 🇬🇧💕
Same herex
This description fits my ex wife exactly. Especially the over dramatizing , she would laugh hysterically and a slightly humourous commercial , and burst into tears while talking about something that hits the feels a little bit. Obsessed with wealth and wealthy people, she spent money like it was water, everyone was trash in her opinion, would deliberately and repeatedly do stuff to agitate me, then I was the outrageous mobster when I got fed up and reacted.
I have dealt with this exact situation for the last 43 years. I have walked away from it for the last 3 months. I am feeling so much happier. I must have been brainwashed to put up with what I did. I am getting stronger every day and I hope that everyone who ever dealt with this situation will get away from it!
Good for you on getting out, they truly suck the air out of a room.
All 10 describe my mother to a T! I am 47 years old and have finally decided to go no contact. It has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.
I'm sorry to hear that but no contact is the only way you keep them from doing their thing. I'm grateful I don't have any cluster B's in my life right now. I was married to a covert narc, my brother was one and my mom and sister were and are borderline. I still have a hard time relaxing from having been around them and many more.
Sorry to hear. You deserve a loving mother
Unfortunately, I've taken in some stray cats in my time. Was going through some major surgeries, and trying times needing help with the house and bills. I've finally moved from the area. 🙏😇
Welcome to the club - now that the constant drama is over, no doubt she will try to call, write or otherwise contact you to worm her way back into your life. Hang up when she calls, mark her letters ' return to sender ' , and run silent, run deep. The peace of mind gained will be so much worth it - and don't get pulled into any guilt trip laid on you by siblings - leave them alone and live your life in peace and tranquility.
Old comment I see but it's rare to see other kids of mother narcs. I too had to finally close the door ....on my own mom and most people don't get how I can be so cruel.
Wow… every thing you tell is spot on… the laziness … and drama .. spending someone else’s money… etc … mega right .. thank you ! Greetings from Holland 🇳🇱.
"Wow"... Is an absolute understatement!!!
I don't even know how I ran into this video, but it was right on time... This video is absolutely SPOT ON ACCURATE!!!
I definitely needed to hear the information provided, it explains literally EVERYTHING!!!
This video perfectly described one of my ex lady friends. She was (and probably still is) very beautiful, but unfortunately, it went to her head. She won the genetic lottery. Long legs, perfect smile, pretty face, and that gave her the right (in her mind) to treat everyone like they were beneath her, including me. Snobbish, condescending attitude, and blatant jealousy towards her younger sister (she nicknamed her "the Golden Child" behind her back and it wasn't a compliment). She went to church on Sundays, but only to keep up appearances, which was a point brought up in the video. My family and friends saw through her right away and told me for months to get rid of her, but hey, I was in love. I don't even want to get into all the gaslighting and double crosses she put me through, because that would take all day. And needless to say, she never took accountability for anything. The manipulation she put me through drove me crazy. The worst was when she tried to convince my family to take her side against me once I finally stood up for myself and called her on her BS.
Ah well. Life goes on. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and do our best to avoid toxic people like this.
Right on target! My mother, and sisters...
No wonder I was the "black sheep" of the family.
My Mother was always ill and dying a complete narcissist hypochondriac she laid guilt upon guilt to control us. She will be 92 years old end of March 2023 and has outlived everyone on both sides of the family and is in good health. I still love her very much I just learned to ignore the control aspect and appreciate the good parts of her soul.
I believe God keeps narrsistic people alive a long time to give them ample time to come to him.
God bless you.
I can relate to your situation completely. Been there. The hurt goes deep and yet I loved her. I was with my mom till the end.
@@kalintiniim married to one and i loved her until she start showing her true colors and omg was it evil! Just mean, Aggressive, crying when you tell them the truth, over Dramatic! And please someone tell me why do i have the feeling as if she cheated already.
The triangulation, histrionic drama and playing the victim is her three main mo’s. At least in my family.
BINGO 👌🏼. Likewise
Same here😒
Amber Heard
My mom
Yep, for sure here too
I am 61 divorced after 30 years you couldn’t be more spot on and I wish I had this information 45 years ago and save myself a lifetime of trouble everything you said here is true I’ve experienced it all with her
In these modern times, you're still a 'young' man'. There are plenty of good women looking for a real man to have a fulfilling, joyful life with! Stand up straight and pull those masculine shoulders back, you're more than able to conquer the world with your charisma and determination. God bless you!!
You just described my ex sister in law. My poor brother is still recovering from her mental abuse.
Spot on!! I left my wife of 25 years after learning what she was. I have lived through every point you made.
I hear you just ended a ten year train of hell with my narc wife hard yet best decision I've ever made!
WOW! You perfectly described one of my siblings. To the unsuspecting, she's the well-rounded and well-intentioned, perfect person ...only she isn't. She's quick to swoop in and solve your problems and become your "best friend". She understands the power of exploiting social media to publicly (fake) praise her friends and family, always seeming to have a kind comment or symbolic gesture to throw their way. She understands how to pit people against each other while at the same time pretending to be the stable one who "cares". Narcissists are masters of illusion and deception, which is how they get their prey to relax their guard. It took over 50 years to escape the family connection to a Toxic Narcissist, but I finally walked away. No more drama, gifts, superiority, games, and/or gaslighting.
P.S. That particular sibling is well known for saying to her husband, "I'm not feeling special!", which means he better go out and buy her something nice or she'll unleash her wrath on his life. She has him well trained and, of course, he complies.
Don't ever take a gift from these wackos. I told them....there will be no B-day dinners or gifts...and for Christmas, I have no interest in exchanging gifts. It's important to let these idiots know, "you are not letting them in" with mere gifts.......usually cheap gifts that you didn't need or want....proving, that no thought about you went into the gift.
NAILED IT
Experienced all 10 of these forms of cruelty with my ex.
I was with my ex-girlfriend for 13 months not knowing in the earlier stages of our relationship that she was a narcissist, it became the most difficult time of my life and stressful, the games she played were centralized to her benefit and controlling using her methods that were so natural to her. Anyone who is in a relationship with a narcissist and trying to break away I will tell you be strong and expect her texting you (love bombing) because it will come your way, block her on your phone, Facebook and any other way of contact. If you surrender then the pain and game will start all over again.
Congratulations on getting away. The silver lining to that cloud is you have a better chance of not getting with another one. And when and if you get a with a decent person you will have gratitude. Good luck my friend.
True that im breaking free 1month in no contact problem is i have 6year old boy with her
You are so on point. This has happened to me on 2 occasions already. Wow.
@@ofentsemoswetsi901 regarding having a child is greater challenge for you than it was with my situation, maybe seek therapist to guide you…
@@Joe-rx7ht You differently learn the narcissist characteristics and gain strength understanding it’s a game to them..
100% spot on. I cannot believe how well this relates to my experience. I keep asking my whether i'm going mad. Am i really married to a narcissist. This video describes my wife almost 100%. Unbelievably you are describing the experience of my wife. Amazing
Get out and live.
Married to a female narcissist and going through the divorce. She is always the victim in any situation, home, work, relationships, you name it and the other person is someone she always points to as a narcissist. Always concerned with her looks and always jealous of every other person on the planet. Bad enough that my son had to come to me and point out that I was the abused person in the marriage and that I needed to do something.
These videos are really helping me get through my recent break up. I knew I needed go and now I understand why. Thank you for this.
Thank you. My ex who I suspect has NPD of the covert variety accused me of being the narcissist after suffering almost 30 yrs of his abuse. I was always very docile toward him until I realized what he had done to me and my life. I exploded at him, which I now know was the wrong thing to do. Now I'm the narc in his eyes and he's gone no contact. It was just his excuse to detach and abandon me. Anyway, thank you for showing me that I am NOT a narc, although I already knew that. He made me question everything about myself. I'm currently attending regular therapy and also trauma therapy twice a week. I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Moving on with my life and will be taking steps to make sure that this toxic evil person can never find me again.
Good for you, move far away if you have to. Life is just life wherever you live.
Jill, I'm convinced that you've met my mother....you just painted the most accurate description of that beast.
you got a problem there. She is not a beast. You wouldn't be here without her. Honour thy father and thy mother that ye may live long on the earth.
@@jerrylisby537650B women gave birth and everyone is dead...it's not so special...
Mother's should be credited on performance...they don't own their children
Wow, the lady I Left or divorced had all ten traits. My goodness. Thank you for the education
When you talked about approaches, I can relate to that. My ex- girlfriend was like that. She dumped me the first time because she did not like the way I was dress. Said it made her looked bad when we were together. My clothes were brand new. Dumped me seven times, taking me back the next day. Fake Discard.
2:33Competitive 5:20Keeps up appearances Church 7:59. Portrays self as perfect 8:42Flaunts sexuality and flirts alot. 10:00Silent Treatment,With holding attention.
It would be so good to find a good woman who is not a narcissist. A narcissist is bad news period. Stay away from them. They will ruin your reputation and your life as well.
Especially a narcissist who's a Jezebel type.
There's plenty of those types teaching their wrong judgments today, as relates in Rev.2:20
These are the last days, where there's a noticeable increase of lovers of themselves and false accussers, spoken of in 2TIM.3:1-3
THANK YOU! This was confirmation of something that I've known personally for years but I had a hard time convincing even myself of the truth. Hearing a "professional" describe these traits was so relieving. She may not have had 100% of the traits you describe, but what she had, she had in spades. She was VERY good at convincing people that SHE was the victim (I call her a "professional victim"), using them, the stabbing them in the back.
I was married to one of these for 9 years. When it was good, it was really good. We had four children. She was so good at convincing even me, and others, that I was the villain. That I was the problem. I hung on for 8 years more than I should have because I knew the courts would give her custody, and I needed to somehow protect my children. (Yes, in spite of all the propaganda to the contrary, there are men who care about their children.)
She left anyway. In the end, she didn't have to try too hard to convince others that I was a bit flaky--I was. Trying to rationalize the irrational, and years of my ego telling me that some how, some way, I could find a way to fix the unfixable, will do that to you. It took me another 2 years to finally realize that *I* was NOT the problem.
NINE MORE YEARS in the courts to get custody. The courts were so stuck on "the kids belong with the mother." Thee tries, bankruptcy, bad lawyers later I was finally so broke that I could not afford the lawyers, and went to the library and studied up on the divorce/custody laws that I WON the case that my lawyer, who was later nominated to be a Federal Judge could not win. When I finally got them out of the ghetto that she had them living in, they were seriously damaged. Many years later, although I was able to correct much of the damage, there is still a lot. The kids have mostly woken up to what she is now. Last I heard, she is in an "assisted living facility"-- alone.
This was like a walk through a past life, emphasis on past.
I was only in for 3 months but in those 3 months.. I lost my savings, my self confidence, and myself. Atleast I was able to break up with her eventually but by that time I was already tapped out of everything. 5 months it took me to get my feet back on the ground. I could only imagine what years does to a person.. the love bombing is a hard thing to shake.
It leaves you as a husk of a person.
I was in a relationship for 4 years. It wasn’t until I started going to therapy myself and started to speak up about her lack of accountability, which was non existent. Is when we really started going down hill. I have been blaming myself for years and wonder why I could never make her happy. Why able to be see I was being manipulated and this wasn’t all my fault. I finally let go! It was super hard but I needed to get myself back.
Thank you! So many of these types of video portray narcissist as a male. Again, thank you.
I had met a woman years ago who I was attracted to but felt I just couldn't trust. Fortunately, I was in and out of this relationship in only three months. No empathy, shame, responsibility, or respect for anyone. She was entitled, boastful, self-centered, manipulative and an instigator. Of course, she spread sugar over anything so I wouldn't focus on any of this. I walked away, thankfully, as I could not longer make excuses for her behaviors. Good luck to all that have much more investment in the narcissist than I had.
Thank you for a Wonderful Video! The Silent treatment, the abandonment, the rejection by my mother are the wounds I am working on right now. This really helped!
Please remember it had nothing to do with you, that was her crap. If it wasn't you it would be someone else. Chin up please eyes on the future. :) You're a survivor now :).
Thank you for this video. When I went though this, I had no idea what narcissism was. I found out about the lies and cheating via text messages. When confronted, The narc expressed no remorse, but instead anger. She was mad I found out and then held her accountable by throwing her out. So two narc injuries. She begged me for marriage counseling. I reluctantly agreed. During six sessions, never took any accountability. Consequently, to this day no apologies. Also, I would learn later, not only was she still betraying me with the “old friend”(during counseling), she started a two year affair with one of my “friends”. He was also married. I think he may be a narc too. It’s sickening to know how entitled and evil these people are.
Hope you got out and started enjoying your life :).
Yes thats my mother and the 2 step moms I had. Its no wonder I thought all were that way until I kept marrying men just like them. Single now and aware. 12 yrs NC with mom. The two step moms died horribly.
i have not seen my mother for 6 years and you have just described her perfectly
I'm right there w you.
My mother was a narcissist, I never really understood the true nature of her being a narcissist until I married my husband, he keep telling me what she was, I looked into this and he was right she was, I had gone through hell growing up around her. It had taken years of therapy to understand the beatings the vile name calling and the hate in her, I had nothing to do with her did not go to her or go to her funeral, I have never fell so free when she died, I’m a 64 year old and never would I ever forgive her, to the day I die.
It says to honor thy father and mother but truthfully some parents are disgustingly horrible.
Learn to forgive her for yourself. Narcs are victims of childhood traumas they did not deserve. Forgiveness will help give you peace. In no way would that forgiveness be for her or in honor of her! Do it for you! 🍀
@@williamcoppage7847 thank you for you’re understanding of narcissist, has gave me comfort I had and never could forgive my mother, but have come to term’s with what she had up us as children through, it took a lot of years but I had got my life back together.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
You have a good husband for telling you. My mother was a narc as well but I didn't realize until years after she died. Videos like this are what taught me
Thank you for sharing these truths. You are helping many, many people. Myself included. Much appreciated 💙
The mother of my kids was a narcissist. Nothing was ever her fault and she would never say sorry for anything or take any kind of responsibility. Everywhere she went she caused problems and would say horrible stuff about other people behind their back including me. I was and am a great father and husband but she would say ugly stuff about me that wasn't true to other people and I could never figure out why. I could tell she was always jealous of any of my accomplishments . She also slept with friends and family our whole relationship and ended up with my best friend.
Pay your child support & stop acting like a child. That woman does not care about you
@@vodkavuitton not sure if this was directed towards me but if it is I pay no child support because I have full custody of my kids. The woman ended up a .junkie and had since passed away.
@@vodkavuittonmaybe show a little bit of fucking empathy next time? tf?
This is gold Jill, So hard to except but must be faced. Thanks.
You have the best definition for a narcissist female thus far. Thanks 🧘🏽♀️
spot on in my experience they can only fool who they know they can fool
1) extremely competitive / wants to be viewed as the best
2) obsessed with her own appearance /image
3) jealous and want people jealous of her
4) overly sensitive to criticism
5) uses her sexuality for manipulation
6) comply or get cut off from sex, affection, communication
7) shameless disregard boundaries
8) materialistic
9) drama queen
10) triangulation
So spot on!
You nailed it 100%! I wish I had known all this information thirty years ago. What I've been learning from your channel and other channels on UA-cam about this topic has been so staggering and incredibly helpful. Thank you!
31and counting
I FEEL LIKE A SAINT COMPERED TO MY SISTER____WELL I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Man this is describing alot of problems I been dealing with.
The best defense against any Narc is being prepared to walk away from any person who isn't respecting you. Respect yourself by projecting you yourself are a person who respects yourself, a person who will not tolerate their behavior. They will do two things if you're in this mindset:
1. Not bother with you to begin with or...
2. Have respect for you by not pushing you too hard. Because they'll know you'll leave or just cut them out.
Never forget these are the most predictable people alive. Use this tip to be prepared when in their presence and ultimately keep yourself safe.
"the most predictable people alive" - nice one!
Excellent video. All 10 points are simply explained.
Two things stood out for me as profound:
Narcissists have "their own version of reality". This includes revisionist history. This is WHY you should NEVER get involved with any Narcissist (male or female). You are expected to bend to their will, to adopt their false narrative (toxic and manipulative).
Secondly, "Yes" they always take the path of least resistance. Example: The female Narcissist cheating with a friend or family member of their current spouse. As you said, they are lazy. And they ALWAYS triangulate others into their messes......ALWAYS.
Triangulation is a form of codependency. Narcissistic supply is a form of codependency. Cluster Bs are absolutely codependent.
This is WHY no contact is the ONLY solution. You must break your half of the codependency bond.
They are great at revising history to fit their delusional grandiosity. Funny how....they can be the fattest, dumbest, most wrong morons.....with major fuck ups........and somehow, they just can't believe that they were wrong, obtuse, far from competent. Like a black hole with fun house mirrors lining the tunnel to nowhere.
While I became truly fed up with long videos, people talking too much, etc... this one was really worth to listen to the end.
This describes my ex like she was the poster child of this definition. She was so much fun when I first met her and she was very positive and chill. Then out of the blue would blow up out of nowhere about literally absolutely nothing but give no explanation at first what the fight is about and especially unwilling to attempt to resolve whatever the non existent issue was to begun with. Would find petty reasons to start fights toward the end of every week then disappear Friday night and not even talk to me again until Sunday. Introduced her to my best friend of 20 plus years and took her over to his house with me twice then realized two years later she had gotten his number from him and had been taking to him "as a friend" unbeknownst to me the entire time. Found this out when he began showing up to her house constantly every single day. She would belittle me in front of him then after a while she must have gotten to him mentally as well because he literally went crazy on her and threatened her with her dad and her daughter trying to pit everyone against her and flat out telling lies about me completely out of left field. Absolutely inappropriate lies that finally ended our friendship as well. She was a master manipulator with men and every single one of her ex's completely lost their cool with her after they broke up and I can vouch for that first hand. One year of no contact with her anymore and regretting I didn't leave her sooner.
This is an absolutely perfect description of my ex's mother. What a disaster she was! I really made the best decision of my life by leaving him and her
Girl exactly same here. Among many other things that she did is she put a thablet under a blanket and asked me to sit next to her. And guess what i didnt see the thablet vecause it was under the blanket and sat on it. And then she made a whole drama that i wupposedly broke the thablet. And that i need to buy a new one and im like lets just fix it. Nothing is broken on the outside maybe just the screen cable slid out and it will be a cheap fix. No. She insisted that i need to give her 800$ for a new thablet. My ex stood on her side and thats why he is an ex now
This is ABSOLUTELY eerily spotTF on! Wow I finished the video 30 min ago and am still shocked and amazed by how spot on she was in this video
Wow... If I had any doubts about my female "best friend" they're gone now. Point for point she matched these examples. I'm glad she's out of my life. Finally feeling peace about it. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you soo much for making this video. I have been dealing with narcissists my whole life and you helped me remember that I am not a narc like all the narcs keep telling me I am when they are acting abusive..
They ALL follow the same playbook. Narcs always accuse others of being narcs. The vile creatures are predictable, if nothing else.
Excellent, I am closely related to 2 of these females and you nailed it 100%, thank you.
They are all bad experiences, but I feel like the female keeps coming back. In my experiences the male will disappear, but the female does not. Pure evil.
Thank you Jill. That was a wonderful description of a female narcissist!!!!
if they want us to admire everything about them why do they push those people away with insults and disrespect? wouldnt it make more sense to keep been nice to continue getting that much needed supply of admiration?