Top 10 Behaviors and Traits of the FEMALE NARCISSIST

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  • Опубліковано 26 лют 2022
  • In today's video Jill explains the most common personality traits and behaviors of the female narcissist.
    Jill Wise, otherwise known as The Enlightened Target, is a life long survivor of narcissistic abuse. She was raised by a malignant narcissist and married to a malignant narcissist, she has endured years of parental alienation, has repeatedly been targeted by narcissists throughout her life. She has an intimate understanding of all aspects of narcissistic abuse and Cptsd. She uses her experience and what she has learned to help educate others and bring awareness to narcissistic abuse. She is also a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and works with clients all over the world heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, parental alienation and Complex Ptsd.
    If you are interested in private Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching with Jill , please visit her website
    payhip.com/TheEnlightenedTarget
    or send her an email at theenlightenedtarget@gmail.com. She conducts face to face meetings on the computer using zoom or over the phone. Many times getting the help and support from a professional who has lived through this is a necessary step to healing.
    Purchase a copy of Jill's Ebook: What are the specific personality and character traits narcissists look for in a target and how they are able to exploit and manipulate these traits.
    payhip.com/b/nwID
    To connect with an online licensed therapist, the link below will direct you to BetterHelp where you can find a qualified therapist and receive therapy from the comfort of your home.
    Please click on this link to get connected:
    www.betterhelp.com/theenlight...
    Jill is sponsored by BetterHelp and receives a small commission on referrals. She only recommends services that she trusts.
    Donations are very much appreciated.
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    This channel is for educational purposes ONLY.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,9 тис.

  • @edrow7403
    @edrow7403 2 роки тому +1662

    In my experience they are not toxic to everyone. They are toxic to those who are close to them. Everyone else might think they're a harmless and good natured person. It's important part of narcissistic abuse as it means it can be hidden. But abuse is still abuse.

    • @armyparrot9353
      @armyparrot9353 Рік тому +42

      So true,!

    • @mat4042
      @mat4042 Рік тому +40

      Exactly, sick covert behaviour without any honesty in what that say and what they are actually doing

    • @Crackrocksteady
      @Crackrocksteady Рік тому +38

      This my ex wife refused to let sick mom move in and I said why so she cannot see how you treat me?

    • @chantakchantal6065
      @chantakchantal6065 Рік тому +14

      Totally agree with you as the mother in law did just that and it was awful to my relationship with my partner as he suffered and I ended up having to pick him up allnthe time because of what she had done to him. When she died the whole family turned against him right down to his own daughter. It's been over a year of hell for the both of us.

    • @disculpateurdifferentiel4416
      @disculpateurdifferentiel4416 Рік тому +27

      Yes, true, and people who do not know her tend to consider them as perfect gentle and sweet person as they are so strong to give an image of perfect person of herself. At the point that those people do not even understand why you are in such a pain in your relationship with such a wonderful peson.

  • @TheCorvairGuy
    @TheCorvairGuy Рік тому +595

    The best way to deal with a narcissist is to not deal with them at all. Get as far away as you can.

    • @rustymansuetti2234
      @rustymansuetti2234 Рік тому +2

      Good advice!!

    • @vansullivan236
      @vansullivan236 Рік тому +4

      Exactly

    • @ayampencen6363
      @ayampencen6363 Рік тому +2

      The best way of all time to deal with female narcissist..
      Tq for your advice👍👍👍

    • @peterbuilttough3406
      @peterbuilttough3406 Рік тому +12

      Best advice! It's almost impossible to get out once they know your weaknesses and how to seduce you. I had to change my number delete all my social media accounts ect. and I still blocked her number just incase, they suck your soul and happiness right out of your body.

    • @parmachine470
      @parmachine470 Рік тому +1

      @@peterbuilttough3406 My Satan was a suckubus. the didn't

  • @Cassandra012
    @Cassandra012 Рік тому +578

    They NEVER EVER apologize or admit they are wrong; Even when they are called out or you have proof....then will do anything to never take accountability for their actions!

    • @timburkhardt9156
      @timburkhardt9156 Рік тому +10

      OMG I don't like those words BUT yes NEVER EVER

    • @Trancymind
      @Trancymind Рік тому +5

      My former manager was like that once I approached to her and talked about the coworkers that were stalking me where I knew my female surpevisor was involved in it. My female manager revealed herself that she knew about it and that it was mishandled. I knew about the stalking for at least 2 months. She didn't apologize to me even though I was trying to fix their mess and trying to forgive them. My manager seemed like she wanted to put it under the rug and forget about it. I put my 2 weeks notice right away because I didn't know if the CEO was involved as well and so I left the company. 3 weeks later CEO quits the company. A new CEO gets hired a month later. HR quits 2 months later without putting a 2 weeks notice even the gossipers within the company were surprised why she quit all of the sudden. 3 months later the manager gets fired by the new CEO.

    • @michaelstalenberg2407
      @michaelstalenberg2407 Рік тому

      Looks like asbergsyndrom besserwissers and almost never wrong. Or is it just narcissistiskt?

    • @DisWldFrk90
      @DisWldFrk90 Рік тому +6

      Even about dumb trivial stuff! I mentioned a fact once, my ex didn't believe I was right, then when I linked her to proof I was right she told me to shut up and not in a playful way. It was a petty little thing, but she was so angry I proved her wrong about something.

    • @BearMan66
      @BearMan66 Рік тому +3

      So true

  • @slothnugget4107
    @slothnugget4107 11 місяців тому +256

    My ex-girlfriend was mad because I wouldn’t introduce her to my family only after 2 weeks of dating. And she flat out told me to my face that she thinks boundaries are pointless and stupid.
    And after watching this video, she literally show cased all these traits, within 2 months of dating.. I ran for the hills! I’m lucky. I dodged a bullet.

    • @Zeepjeliefs
      @Zeepjeliefs 10 місяців тому +6

      You did very good 💖💯

    • @DinFL
      @DinFL 9 місяців тому +7

      Smart decision. So proud of you. Thank you for sharing. It’s been one month since you posted your comment. I trust the ex is still an ex?

    • @user-q992
      @user-q992 7 місяців тому +5

      Don’t ever go back to her please!🙏

    • @slothnugget4107
      @slothnugget4107 6 місяців тому +7

      @@DinFL yes the ex is still an ex. It’s been 6 months now and I am so happy!!

    • @DinFL
      @DinFL 6 місяців тому +4

      @@slothnugget4107 - I’m so proud and happy for you. It’s not easy taking that first step but when you do and succeed, savor those moments. It’s life changing AND for the better.

  • @Axess-sv8nq
    @Axess-sv8nq 2 роки тому +1560

    There is one thing that people REALLY need to accept about them. They DON'T change - ever. They're very comfortable in who they are - no matter what they project outwardly. The female covert likes to pretend she's the victim of everything - even herself. She'll over-emphasize her struggles with depression, etc., for sympathy and attention. She doesn't deal with life. She just suckers other people into doing that FOR HER.

    • @teresaamos271
      @teresaamos271 2 роки тому +46

      😮🤭🤭😮😮😯 gosh, you are 💯% correct. Description to a T. Same here.

    • @Axess-sv8nq
      @Axess-sv8nq 2 роки тому +59

      @@teresaamos271 I've dated a bunch of them over the decades - and even, foolishly, married one when I was in my 20's. I learned the hard way. It was a messy divorce (with kids - who she alienated from me). Now, I have grandchildren who don't even know I exist - and never will.

    • @diontrott4876
      @diontrott4876 2 роки тому +64

      @@Axess-sv8nq Man, my heart goes out to you brother.
      Right after my ex and I broke up I repeatedly asked myself how did I end up having children with who is potentially the worst person I'd ever been with.
      I ended up losing my home and other assets being with this toxic woman. Now, I have my little ones just 2 wknds a month and the alienation is becoming progressively worse to where my son cries when I pick him up for the wknd. My daughter and I have a stronger bond & I'm really hoping/praying she doesn't change.
      It's so unfortunate that we typically find out about this disorder only after we've been involved with them. This behavioral issue needs to be taught constantly from 2nd grade through HS and should be a prerequisite college course for all majors.

    • @Axess-sv8nq
      @Axess-sv8nq 2 роки тому +32

      @@diontrott4876 Hey man. Sorry you had to deal with the nonsense as well. I also lost my home and a lot of things I owned - which I had to sell to get a place to live. I was married in Vermont where the woman always gets the kids and the house. You can hope that your daughter's bond with you doesn't change. But, that's up to her. Your ex-narc will try to destroy that bond. I guarantee it. They're nasty.
      I remember one I dated after I got custody of my kids for a few years (after my ex neglected them). She used to try to make the kids feel bad about me because I wasn't doing my chores around the house fast enough. They're all screwed in the head. All of them. I wish I knew about narcs before 2018. I would have avoided them all if I could have recognized the red flags. And I DEFINITELY wouldn't have moved in with, or married, ANY narc.

    • @allenjohnstone9945
      @allenjohnstone9945 2 роки тому +32

      Some of these attributes sum up my ex wife to a Tee. My ex basically alienated me from everyone we knew and turned my eldest daughter into a mini version of herself. I lost everything but thankfully my bond with my kids is great now as they are older.
      One thing I did do is never say anything bad about her or drag my kids into the reason i walked out. Maybe when they have their own lives I'll explain. Who knows.

  • @piousone
    @piousone Рік тому +45

    Society's focus is CONSTANTLY on narcissistic men, but the fact is that narcissistic women are rampant!

  • @jellybean6778
    @jellybean6778 Рік тому +305

    "Shameless disregard" for your boundaries is an understatement.

    • @ImperialLemon
      @ImperialLemon Рік тому +7

      I date a narcissist rn but it's not a big deal because I'm am also a narcissist but the only difference is I know I am and she doesn't act like she knows she is but I can definitely say there are zero boundary control in women

    • @CarEnthusiastMaster
      @CarEnthusiastMaster 11 місяців тому +3

      My ex wife once told me I don't like your boundaries or agree with them 😂. Her boundary was, you are making me feel stupid. I never said it or acted that way. It was all projection and it was very sad and just a mind screw for years

    • @MeghenFarley
      @MeghenFarley 8 місяців тому +1

      ​@@CarEnthusiastMasteri call em crazy makers

    • @PricklePrice
      @PricklePrice 7 місяців тому +1

      Especially if gang up on 1. Take Care 🩷

    • @BashayG7175
      @BashayG7175 3 місяці тому

      This comment is so on point my ex narc gf one once told me that should would never stop contacting me no matter how much I ignore. The crazy part is that she knows that I have a gf

  • @seventhson27
    @seventhson27 Рік тому +411

    Narcissism is a "personality disorder." Personality disorders are the most difficult to change because the really BELIEVE that there is nothing wrong with THEM.
    I was brought up to be a "nice guy" and a "gentleman," and a "giving" person. This caused me to be a MAGNET for narcissists. It took me a LONG time to realize that it wasn't something wrong with me other than I was tolerating it.

    • @JeffreyTipper
      @JeffreyTipper Рік тому +38

      Same here brother. Put myself through years of narcissistic abuse just to be discarded and my self confidence stolen.

    • @chuckdawg2799
      @chuckdawg2799 Рік тому +13

      feel that

    • @judi5671
      @judi5671 Рік тому +19

      The only thing wrong is that we don't know how to pick a good one.

    • @rossbrumby1957
      @rossbrumby1957 Рік тому +10

      Is that why I get friendzoned by 90% of the women I ever seem to get close to? Used and taken for granted.

    • @jimmyperry8780
      @jimmyperry8780 Рік тому

      @@chuckdawg2799 I'm0k

  • @sarahmurphy8030
    @sarahmurphy8030 2 роки тому +1097

    My mother was a narcissist. So cruel and wicked. She would beat me nightly to the point i would wet the bed till i was 16 with fear. I left and moved as far away as possible but she still managed to carry on the smear campaign against me. When i married and had my first child she told everyone she wasn't my first child. My heart just broke knowing she would carry the abuse toward my daughter. She died alone with none of her 4 children having any contact. I didn't shed at tear as horrible as is sounds i was relieved.

    • @cher236
      @cher236 2 роки тому +81

      I'm so sorry for your experience with your mother!! I hope your life is better now and I'm sure you have a wonderful relationship with your child/children. God bless you.

    • @reesedaniel5835
      @reesedaniel5835 2 роки тому +127

      Narcissism is one of the few conditions where the true victim is left alone in a complete state of emotional terror; and isolation, while everybody flutters around the emotional terrorist, and dotes on them. Whereas the true victim often walks away from their war-torn family, only to have a complete psychotic breakdown.
      The entire family turns their back on the scapegoat in their time of need. Members who once supported the scapegoat have become victims of brainwashing and now believe in the lie. Not one single family member will check to see if the scapegoat is ok - and nobody tries to find them; because nobody cares. To be betrayed by those who are supposed to love you is a pain that is nearly indescribable. This is the nature of the narcissistic family unit. So many families are divided because of this epidemic. Only those of us who have walked this path can understand the depth of our suffering. Narcissism is EVERYWHERE…. not just in families. It’s an epidemic. You don’t even have to be related to one. They are EVERYWHERE.

    • @sandyo1063
      @sandyo1063 2 роки тому +10

      She was demonically influenced. She needed an exorcism. Unfortunately these people don’t realize it or they refuse the help. They have to want to change. If they go for help and won’t change after the help, they will be taken over again by demons and be 7 times worse than before.
      Matthew 12:43-45.

    • @carpathianken
      @carpathianken 2 роки тому +11

      Narc mothers are capable of unspeakable evil Sarah.
      My mother shook my baby sister so hard when she'd cry because she was hungry that it caused her brain damage.
      She'd also let her father & her middle aged brothers rape my sisters from the ages of 8 & 9 & then she called them ungrateful when they reported their mistreatment to the Police to get them imprisoned. My youngest sister (that doesn't have brain damage) openly admits that if she ever sees our mother again that she's going to strangle her to death.

    • @sandyo1063
      @sandyo1063 2 роки тому +23

      @@carpathianken that’s so horrible. I am sorry that happened.

  • @russellhawkins5113
    @russellhawkins5113 2 роки тому +1017

    The 10 points of the female narcissist are:
    1. Extremely competitive (I’ve noticed this is common in male narcs too.)
    2. Overly concerned about her appearance. Superficial.
    3. Extremely jealous. (All narcs are.)
    4. Overly sensitive to criticism.
    5. Uses her sexuality to advantage.
    6. She will manipulate you with punishments. (An expert at the silent treatment.)
    7. A shameless disregard for boundaries.
    8. She is materialistic. (Likes to provoke others to be envious of her.)
    9. She is a drama queen and loves Dramas.
    10. She will pit people against each other.
    Excellent summary and points.
    To which we could add:
    11. Highly dismissive of the achievements of others. (Dismissiveness of others achievements is one of the principal aspects of the narcissist. A stock in trade as it were.)

    • @nicoledburns82
      @nicoledburns82 2 роки тому +39

      Absolutely agree. The Narc in the family didn't go to our own brothers wedding because she said it was not good for her mental well being. She texted him the day before the wedding. Her issue is that she was upset she wasn't the maid of honor so she decided not to go. Such bizarre behavior.

    • @sandraarmitage2024
      @sandraarmitage2024 2 роки тому +22

      I work with people that fit this criteria

    • @YouilAushana
      @YouilAushana 2 роки тому +9

      My mom and unfortunately a health professional I had to work with for 4 months. I saw through it and was discarded. Thank you

    • @annebonnyssister
      @annebonnyssister 2 роки тому

      "Funny" though...those witches ALWAYS "get" a man. The victims spend their lives alone,crippled,sick,suicidal...and often overweight, which birth giver uses to further degrade and humiliate them with.
      Well, if you are told from moment of birth how "fat/ugly/disgusting" you are, guess what ??? YOU BECOME OVERWEIGHT.
      So next time you want a "hot" broad, take a cold bath and date the "fat" girl. I guarantee you, you will have a good and peaceful life.

    • @huko4266
      @huko4266 2 роки тому +51

      12. Makes false police reports to present herself as a damsel in distress.

  • @valentinli332
    @valentinli332 10 місяців тому +76

    Glad to see this video. Our society seems to spot a male narcissist or psychopath readily, but we seem to have a blind spot for the female version.

    • @samscarletta7433
      @samscarletta7433 9 місяців тому +4

      The covert or vulnerable narcs are hard to spot. I lived with one for 20 years. It took another 20 to figure it out. They are very good at deception.

    • @aricakritz2765
      @aricakritz2765 8 місяців тому

      Very true! The most narcissistic people I know are women. For some reason people over look it often.

    • @stefanegstrup3145
      @stefanegstrup3145 7 місяців тому

      Yes, unfortunately.

    • @WayToManyAssassins
      @WayToManyAssassins 7 місяців тому +2

      It's quite common for people to be aware of these people but still end up being thrown into their realm of manipulation and gaslighting. Some woman are very good at manipulating men even smart men.

    • @WillieHen
      @WillieHen 5 місяців тому

      The females are more dangerous because they can hide behind femininity and gender, and the “victim play” is more accepted.

  • @larryemenestrina6130
    @larryemenestrina6130 10 місяців тому +69

    I’m sure I was married to a female narcissist for 11 years leading me to bankruptcy. It took intervention by friends and family to take me out of that relationship.
    Now after 10 years of separation, divorce and bankruptcy she is reaching out to me through texts, being super nice, loving, friendly and totally complimentary. She knows my buttons!
    I feel like she is spinning her web entrapping me in her her attractive web! It’s still difficult to resist!

    • @kristiaankristiaan5278
      @kristiaankristiaan5278 9 місяців тому +23

      Two words: Don't engage. Been there. They won't stop until you're dead.

    • @samscarletta7433
      @samscarletta7433 9 місяців тому +18

      RESIST anyway. They Never EVER change.

    • @hlengiweyourstruly
      @hlengiweyourstruly 9 місяців тому +19

      Your empathic side makes u feel sorry for the devil.. That's actually sad but I hope you'll remind yourself why u left

    • @briannielsen2177
      @briannielsen2177 9 місяців тому +8

      Your not the only former supply in her phonebook receiving those lovely texts. All her ex lovers are. It does change from your past relationship with them the 1st go around will seem like a cakewalk when compared to this 2nd or 3rd time around

    • @Andre-fl5wt
      @Andre-fl5wt 8 місяців тому +3

      Your experience is so similar to mine with me ex-wife who is a narcissist: entitled, not apologetic, manipulating the kids against me, lier, deceiver, brainwashing the kids, and the list goes on. I divorced her 7 years ago and around 3 weeks back asked me if I wanted to buy a house with her??? I said what, really, are you asking that, there is not a way I would fall into the same disaster again. Unfortunately the kids are in the middel, and obviously that bond has to be maintained. I wish I didn't need to deal with her anymore, unfortunately I had to, until my kids get older.

  • @scottdunn2178
    @scottdunn2178 2 роки тому +155

    After 2 restraining orders, 4 months in jail, 6 months house arrest... I am convinced she was sent from the fiery pits of hell. So glad to have her out of my life.

  • @Mog435
    @Mog435 2 роки тому +534

    My ex wife was jealous of the attention I was getting from friends, when I was diagnosed having a tumour in my neck . It was actually strangling my spinal chord . I will never forget her comment after I had my diagnosis after an MRI scan . In tears she said what shall me and Beth do if you die . ( Beth was our dog ) anyway I survived and had custody of the dog .

    • @miryreina925
      @miryreina925 2 роки тому +15

      😂👏👏👏👏

    • @annebonnyssister
      @annebonnyssister 2 роки тому +9

      YAY !!!

    • @johnmay2461
      @johnmay2461 2 роки тому +29

      Thank God you survived (both) !

    • @Mog435
      @Mog435 2 роки тому +6

      @@johnmay2461 thank you John

    • @delphisquirrel2430
      @delphisquirrel2430 2 роки тому

      Fucking hell. I’m so glad you survived your illness AND the bitch.

  • @Cassandra012
    @Cassandra012 Рік тому +17

    They don't care about your feelings when you tell them how you feel! If they don't like what you are saying they will ghost you....then randomly reach out as if nothing even happened!

  • @eddiehenrik4869
    @eddiehenrik4869 Рік тому +107

    I've looked into Narcissism a fair bit when I suspected a female 'friend' of mine of being narcissistic. Unfortunately, I was her supply. Your video just summed everything up perfectly. I am happy to say that I am no longer the supply she craved.

  • @M.C.Blackwell
    @M.C.Blackwell 2 роки тому +110

    My mom and I are both redheads and she told me when I was a baby, people would stop and say how beautiful my hair was and she said every time it happened she'd be thinking "what about MY hair?" I couldn't believe a mother could be jealous of a baby; I'm so proud of my dog when she gets complements so how much more proud would I be of my child.

    • @mahoganyshanae6116
      @mahoganyshanae6116 2 роки тому +16

      Thts the part tht scared me a mother being jealous of her own child thts sick! Thts wht really made me cut her off. Cause tht is uncomfortable and twisted to be around a mother who is jealous of their daughter. Wht the hell is going on. I want nothing to do with her.

    • @rpm6391
      @rpm6391 2 роки тому +16

      Yes, their behavior is startling to the uninitiated. I recall being around 6-8 years old. A lady at a house party commented on me being cute. My mother snapped at the lady to not "swell [my] head" with compliments. As a child, I remember the shock on the lady's face. It all makes sense now.

    • @mahoganyshanae6116
      @mahoganyshanae6116 2 роки тому +9

      @@rpm6391 Thts crazy! I don't like tht kind of stuff it makes me want to throw up.. It's sick!

    • @hollyhayes9640
      @hollyhayes9640 2 роки тому

      😬

    • @susanmartin5210
      @susanmartin5210 2 роки тому +1

      Holy shit! All 3 of my children get non stop compliments! It makes me proud! Never once jealous.

  • @ke9988
    @ke9988 2 роки тому +283

    I once offered my opinion to my sister when she called me. It wasn't what she wanted to hear. Her response was "your opinion means absolutely nothing to me" in the meanest tone she could muster up while on the phone. At the time I was upset with her cruel words. It was shortly after this that I decided to avoid any communication with her. That was over 30 yrs ago.

    • @christinalw19
      @christinalw19 2 роки тому +14

      Wow. Good for you. 👍🏼 I am a very slow learner. 😔

    • @ke9988
      @ke9988 2 роки тому +12

      @@christinalw19 I was 30yrs old when I had enough!

    • @debhammersley6756
      @debhammersley6756 2 роки тому +15

      You made the best decision.

    • @eagleeye2300
      @eagleeye2300 2 роки тому +24

      Boy can I relate. My narc sister is the ultimate gaslighter, and the only one who has ever suffered anything...Just like our narc mother. Zero support for me when I was massively under the gun mentally, emotionally and physically, and she took the side of the man who was abusing me...That was the last time we spoke. Just finally realized I'd never get any love from her because she doesn't know how.

    • @ke9988
      @ke9988 2 роки тому +10

      @@eagleeye2300 My family and I have recently included her son in all holiday dinners. He moved for a job to our side our Canada. It didn't take long for my sister to write 1, 2, then 3 different letters to me with a long list of decades-old accusations, lies, and basically her projections. I didn't respond. This of course prompted #2nd and third rant. I copied each letter and gave them to my family and friends. I am actually grateful (after the initial shock and confusion) to have this kind of evidence to share. No one else knew how intense her manipulative behaviors were with respect to me growing up. I have to say they were shocked at the content. It gave even more peace of mind for my thoughts of her and her nonsense

  • @mystizzk
    @mystizzk 6 місяців тому +5

    I lived with a narcissist for 3 years.. We had two children. We split up in 2009 and she committed suicide in 2022. The children are living with me and my wife now. I still have anxiety from that relationship.. 😮

  • @chadkent1241
    @chadkent1241 Рік тому +28

    Lived with this for 4 years and it destroyed me...5 years later I'm strong as ever and so glad I won't make the same mistake

    • @chrismcquoid9499
      @chrismcquoid9499 2 місяці тому +1

      Yea same 4 years with a female malignant narsisst, 2.5 years alone to recover then meet and marry the girl of my life for the first 3 years then started to slowly change, 5 years together now and ive just put it all together recently covert female narsissist and i trained in and have a counselling degree, with a focus on cluster b personalities, its like the narc was dormant and and triggered when she felt dissapointed that i decided on a carrer change

  • @irwincrook567
    @irwincrook567 2 роки тому +30

    1. Extremely competitive (for attention) - even with children and family
    2. Overly concerned about Appearance (also how people around her look)
    3. Extremely jealous (and thinks everyone else is deeply jealous of her) - two-faced and talks behind everyone's back
    4. Extremely sensitive to criticism (not even constructive) - no reality
    5. Uses sexuality to her advantage (like money used by Narc men) - inappropriately flirt and have affairs with people around - No Ethics or Morals
    6. Punish with manipulation - cut off sex and abandon, withhold affection
    7. Disrespect boundaries (acts like she is doing you a favor)
    8. Materialistic - to make her feel superior
    9. Drama Queen (get bored quickly)
    10. Put people against each other

    • @dppopov
      @dppopov 5 місяців тому

      That’s the type of comment that is valuable!

    • @vodkavuitton
      @vodkavuitton 18 днів тому

      ONEEKA MARAJ !!! 😂😂😂

  • @hannahshmulsky7119
    @hannahshmulsky7119 2 роки тому +356

    They love to “catch” codependent empaths and drain them of their spirit. It’s like they cast a spell. I’m watching the beginning stages happen to a friend of mine and I’m horrified.

    • @annebonnyssister
      @annebonnyssister 2 роки тому

      SPELL is correct. They are WITCHES. Witchcraft consist of SPOKEN WORDS. Rescue your friend !!!

    • @Jake-cf2iq
      @Jake-cf2iq 2 роки тому +33

      My girlfriend had me thinking that I was the narcissist for a while and it brought my entire spirit in downfall.

    • @HANZELVANDERLAAY
      @HANZELVANDERLAAY 2 роки тому +17

      Yes.. happened to me.

    • @rebellion2054
      @rebellion2054 2 роки тому +22

      Well said. I still don’t know how stupified or stupid I was. I got stripped to a husk.

    • @jnorway7295
      @jnorway7295 2 роки тому +16

      As an empath, I was on the receiving end of being "drained of my spirit" & it felt like torture--from my mom when I was young, my raging fiance who I left, a female bully manager & finally my engineer narc/misogynist husband who I've divorced. I have my radar on to stay a safe distance from narcassists now & finally feel "free"!!

  • @cathtf7957
    @cathtf7957 Рік тому +7

    This explains why my achievements were completely disregarded. I couldn't understand why I never got even one word of praise or encouragement. Complex.

  • @maxstone776
    @maxstone776 Рік тому +14

    You just described most of the toxic women I've known and avoided in my life except my mother. That's why I had a happy, healthy and prosperous life as a single 65 year old man. 😃👍

    • @johnyork6174
      @johnyork6174 5 місяців тому

      Yes sir

    • @summerswalkabout1515
      @summerswalkabout1515 5 місяців тому

      I come from the other side being a codependent in recovery. Unfortunately our house nature draws them in. You really have to get to know them before you start making magic. I wish you only the best and I'm glad you have peace in your life. A life with peace is so different than the life of hell with a person like that.

  • @philmorrison6898
    @philmorrison6898 2 роки тому +158

    Nailed it again! Very well said! One trait my ex had was that she always had negative opinions of almost every one! If you want to piss off an opinionated narcissist, ask them what makes them think their opinion has any value? 2 years 8 months no contact!

    • @ke9988
      @ke9988 2 роки тому +14

      My older sister is a fine Narssist specimen. I cut off contact in1990. With all that I have learned in the last few years, it was the single most beneficial decision for my sanity. Fortunately, she moved to the other side of the country in '90. She will suck the life out of anyone in her path.

    • @cartwrightworm1317
      @cartwrightworm1317 2 роки тому +10

      My ex’s family honestly had nothing positive to say about anyone. It was amazing, I’ve never met such negative people, yet they’ll tell strangers how brilliant they are.

    • @justinbrockwell8396
      @justinbrockwell8396 2 роки тому +3

      Our ex's may be twins😂

    • @hunnidracks6146
      @hunnidracks6146 2 роки тому +4

      I’m about to get out of mine thank you 3 years 🤦🏽‍♂️

    • @deborahbailey8246
      @deborahbailey8246 Рік тому +1

      🙌🙌🙌😘. Yes indeed!!

  • @heaven-is-real
    @heaven-is-real 2 роки тому +142

    You have no idea of the depths of evil they will go to, in order to manipulate.

    • @wmhhealth2018
      @wmhhealth2018 2 роки тому +10

      My ex female narc is the most evil person I have ever dealt with. She nearly caused her eldest daughter to take her own life. She told me with zero remorse or emotion.

    • @pjotrboboy900
      @pjotrboboy900 2 роки тому +4

      You are not alone my friend

    • @leonaneighbour5604
      @leonaneighbour5604 2 роки тому +2

      Yes, unfortunately I have had to deal with this, the cursing and screaming, and she once tried to stab my kitty with a knife., hit me in the head with a brass pot, punch me in the face and gave me a black eye. Tore up my clothes, books, and makeup. She is 65 now and still does this. I am no contact now.

    • @heaven-is-real
      @heaven-is-real 2 роки тому

      @@leonaneighbour5604 Good for you.

    • @johnmay2461
      @johnmay2461 2 роки тому +11

      As a man, I left my narcissistic wife of 27 years. I felt powerless.
      I let her become the “boss” in our family. No boundaries and enjoyed ridiculing me in front of our children.
      After years in therapy I left one day. I woke up, packed my clothes, my dog and moved in with my elderly father. 4 year divorce process with countless delay tactics. Still unresolved but I’m free from the horrible drama.
      I nearly lost my soul.
      Be strong and remind yourself who you really are. You are good and have value to the world.

  • @BrianJamesShanley
    @BrianJamesShanley Рік тому +10

    I’ve dealt with women like this more than once. This video has captured the experience very well.

  • @stephenryan7698
    @stephenryan7698 Рік тому +20

    My Mother was always ill and dying a complete narcissist hypochondriac she laid guilt upon guilt to control us. She will be 92 years old end of March 2023 and has outlived everyone on both sides of the family and is in good health. I still love her very much I just learned to ignore the control aspect and appreciate the good parts of her soul.

    • @ruckerbrady8342
      @ruckerbrady8342 Рік тому +1

      I believe God keeps narrsistic people alive a long time to give them ample time to come to him.

    • @dinaworkman306
      @dinaworkman306 Рік тому +1

      God bless you.

    • @kalintini
      @kalintini Рік тому +1

      I can relate to your situation completely. Been there. The hurt goes deep and yet I loved her. I was with my mom till the end.

    • @laughoutloudtv873
      @laughoutloudtv873 5 місяців тому

      ​@@kalintiniim married to one and i loved her until she start showing her true colors and omg was it evil! Just mean, Aggressive, crying when you tell them the truth, over Dramatic! And please someone tell me why do i have the feeling as if she cheated already.

  • @MaiRaven3
    @MaiRaven3 2 роки тому +20

    You.have described these creatures extremely well. Dangerous creatures and deadly evil.

  • @Illumination70
    @Illumination70 Рік тому +63

    I remember being friends with a couple of narcissist gals who had no problem throwing friendships "under the bus" (The overly competitive part) when it came to getting a guy's attention, job, etc. At the end, I left both situations because when the trust is no longer there, it's clear the friendship is over.

  • @glennkeese7922
    @glennkeese7922 5 місяців тому +8

    This description fits my ex wife exactly. Especially the over dramatizing , she would laugh hysterically and a slightly humourous commercial , and burst into tears while talking about something that hits the feels a little bit. Obsessed with wealth and wealthy people, she spent money like it was water, everyone was trash in her opinion, would deliberately and repeatedly do stuff to agitate me, then I was the outrageous mobster when I got fed up and reacted.

    • @davidperry5631
      @davidperry5631 5 місяців тому

      I have dealt with this exact situation for the last 43 years. I have walked away from it for the last 3 months. I am feeling so much happier. I must have been brainwashed to put up with what I did. I am getting stronger every day and I hope that everyone who ever dealt with this situation will get away from it!

    • @cgordon1386
      @cgordon1386 4 місяці тому

      Good for you on getting out, they truly suck the air out of a room.

  • @Batman-gn9yh
    @Batman-gn9yh 11 місяців тому +10

    U just described my ex wife 1000% for a long time I thought she was just immature WRONG Learned the hard way glad I’m free of it. But I Paid a Heavy Heavy Price years of mental damage before it was over!!! Watching this helped me Thank You ✌️going to share this with my kids 💯

  • @CP-pe9ul
    @CP-pe9ul 2 роки тому +14

    Jill, I'm convinced that you've met my mother....you just painted the most accurate description of that beast.

    • @jerrylisby5376
      @jerrylisby5376 2 роки тому

      you got a problem there. She is not a beast. You wouldn't be here without her. Honour thy father and thy mother that ye may live long on the earth.

  • @kunkunaku
    @kunkunaku 2 роки тому +196

    You nailed it. Was married to a woman whom I thought was my soul mate. She has just about all of these symptoms. Left me with C-PTSD and Stockholm syndrome. I'm all better now and so much the wiser.

    • @jkkennedy8919
      @jkkennedy8919 2 роки тому +4

      What is CPTSD ?

    • @roryrichards9340
      @roryrichards9340 2 роки тому +12

      I was left the same way. First the Stockholm, then CPTSD after the divorce

    • @sgtmuffinbadger6147
      @sgtmuffinbadger6147 2 роки тому +7

      In the Stockholm stage currently

    • @1581zebra
      @1581zebra 2 роки тому +7

      I’m sitting here trying to decide if my ex is narcissist. She tried to take my soul I believe.
      Can’t decide if she is or not though… she exhibits a lot of this stuff but not all of them. I’m thinking she’s just ultra selfish and not really narc. Zero empathy though. Thankfully our daughter is much more like me than her mother.

    • @stevenkovler5133
      @stevenkovler5133 Рік тому +4

      Wow!! I am dealing with the PTSD and Anxiety right now! Any advice you can give me to help me get through this would be terrific.
      I am being told I have Stockholm syndrome as well…

  • @definitiveedge5096
    @definitiveedge5096 Рік тому +21

    This describes my ex like she was the poster child of this definition. She was so much fun when I first met her and she was very positive and chill. Then out of the blue would blow up out of nowhere about literally absolutely nothing but give no explanation at first what the fight is about and especially unwilling to attempt to resolve whatever the non existent issue was to begun with. Would find petty reasons to start fights toward the end of every week then disappear Friday night and not even talk to me again until Sunday. Introduced her to my best friend of 20 plus years and took her over to his house with me twice then realized two years later she had gotten his number from him and had been taking to him "as a friend" unbeknownst to me the entire time. Found this out when he began showing up to her house constantly every single day. She would belittle me in front of him then after a while she must have gotten to him mentally as well because he literally went crazy on her and threatened her with her dad and her daughter trying to pit everyone against her and flat out telling lies about me completely out of left field. Absolutely inappropriate lies that finally ended our friendship as well. She was a master manipulator with men and every single one of her ex's completely lost their cool with her after they broke up and I can vouch for that first hand. One year of no contact with her anymore and regretting I didn't leave her sooner.

  • @505fastlife6
    @505fastlife6 Рік тому +37

    The mother of my kids was a narcissist. Nothing was ever her fault and she would never say sorry for anything or take any kind of responsibility. Everywhere she went she caused problems and would say horrible stuff about other people behind their back including me. I was and am a great father and husband but she would say ugly stuff about me that wasn't true to other people and I could never figure out why. I could tell she was always jealous of any of my accomplishments . She also slept with friends and family our whole relationship and ended up with my best friend.

    • @vodkavuitton
      @vodkavuitton 18 днів тому

      Pay your child support & stop acting like a child. That woman does not care about you

    • @505fastlife6
      @505fastlife6 18 днів тому

      @@vodkavuitton not sure if this was directed towards me but if it is I pay no child support because I have full custody of my kids. The woman ended up a .junkie and had since passed away.

    • @skeleton599
      @skeleton599 7 днів тому

      @@vodkavuittonmaybe show a little bit of fucking empathy next time? tf?

  • @danlyson7681
    @danlyson7681 2 роки тому +54

    I am a solitary person for 8 years since my relationship, every example was used and it changed me forever.

    • @marcussmith3969
      @marcussmith3969 2 роки тому +2

      Dyson, I'm right there with. I'm only 1 year out from mine. Like you, my life has been changed forever.

    • @jacquelineglitter4328
      @jacquelineglitter4328 Рік тому

      Me too. I've stayed single for 20 years because I had a parent like this and then married my husband with the same traits. I don't trust people or my judgement anymore so I decided to stay single. I keep to myself except I only spend time with my son. He doesn't want to see his Dad anymore since he's had enough.

    • @danlyson7681
      @danlyson7681 Рік тому +2

      @@jacquelineglitter4328 , it’s sad loving humans have to keep isolated from a toxic world! I live alone but I am not lonely!

  • @sothere8758
    @sothere8758 2 роки тому +13

    I am a guy - watched many narc videos - this one really exposed the female narc - I won;t get fooled again - Thank you so much

  • @seventhson27
    @seventhson27 Рік тому +18

    THANK YOU! This was confirmation of something that I've known personally for years but I had a hard time convincing even myself of the truth. Hearing a "professional" describe these traits was so relieving. She may not have had 100% of the traits you describe, but what she had, she had in spades. She was VERY good at convincing people that SHE was the victim (I call her a "professional victim"), using them, the stabbing them in the back.
    I was married to one of these for 9 years. When it was good, it was really good. We had four children. She was so good at convincing even me, and others, that I was the villain. That I was the problem. I hung on for 8 years more than I should have because I knew the courts would give her custody, and I needed to somehow protect my children. (Yes, in spite of all the propaganda to the contrary, there are men who care about their children.)
    She left anyway. In the end, she didn't have to try too hard to convince others that I was a bit flaky--I was. Trying to rationalize the irrational, and years of my ego telling me that some how, some way, I could find a way to fix the unfixable, will do that to you. It took me another 2 years to finally realize that *I* was NOT the problem.
    NINE MORE YEARS in the courts to get custody. The courts were so stuck on "the kids belong with the mother." Thee tries, bankruptcy, bad lawyers later I was finally so broke that I could not afford the lawyers, and went to the library and studied up on the divorce/custody laws that I WON the case that my lawyer, who was later nominated to be a Federal Judge could not win. When I finally got them out of the ghetto that she had them living in, they were seriously damaged. Many years later, although I was able to correct much of the damage, there is still a lot. The kids have mostly woken up to what she is now. Last I heard, she is in an "assisted living facility"-- alone.

  • @shannonbest106
    @shannonbest106 Рік тому +5

    Excellent job… a key factor is superficial in all narcissists…. No depth to their personality… they may be shiny, but they do not sparkle… to sparkle you have to have multiple facets; a mirror is shiny, a diamond sparkles.

  • @davidjthayer7417
    @davidjthayer7417 2 роки тому +10

    I had one so pathologically envious she tried to set me up for failure !!!!
    She was constantly dishonest,
    manipulative and deceitful !!!!!
    She got pleasure from my pain !!!
    Rotten to the core !!!!!

    • @vodkavuitton
      @vodkavuitton 18 днів тому

      Nicki Minaj putting her flying monkeys on your back for childlike entertainment to maintain her false godlike status

  • @illuminatilex
    @illuminatilex Рік тому +76

    I cried hard watching this I was living this every day of my life while trying to get and keep my life together I lost it all trying to love a narcissists broke my heart 💔 over and over thinking what am I doing wrong I'm trying so hard to make her happy and nothing was ever enough thank you for teaching me this makes me feel so refreshed knowing that I'm not some broken man who doesn't deserve love

    • @Thegoldenchild415
      @Thegoldenchild415 Рік тому +7

      Never let a woman break you. You're first mistake was thinking love is like a Disney movie, and women are princesses. Nope! They are not!

    • @haroldferguson1483
      @haroldferguson1483 Рік тому +6

      I get it man. But even after you figure it out, and it takes a long time even when you start to research wtf is going on, the worst thing is realizing the person you fell so deeply in love with isn't even real..a fkn chameleon who bacame what she figured you needed. In love with a ghost,a nobody.

    • @fredriktoennesen4194
      @fredriktoennesen4194 Рік тому +4

      I know that feeling. I struggled with this for years. I just now have finally had my eyes opened and realize it was never me. I'm 2 months free and working on finding myself again and putting that behind me for good

    • @flowersintheattic2608
      @flowersintheattic2608 Рік тому

      I call bs.

    • @summerswalkabout1515
      @summerswalkabout1515 5 місяців тому +1

      I come from the other side and I know what you mean. They can make you crazy if you fall for it for to long. Good job getting out. Get to know her before making magic and getting sucked in. See how she responds to challenges. Are how she treats people and watch what they say about others. They actually show you how they will treat you in the previous supply that's getting kicked was your getting picked up. It's sickening. I'm sorry you weren't thorough that but I'm glad you have learned from it and survived. Good luck and God bless. You are lovable, don't let anyone tell you otherwise

  • @ccarlymartin
    @ccarlymartin Рік тому +7

    Thank you. My ex who I suspect has NPD of the covert variety accused me of being the narcissist after suffering almost 30 yrs of his abuse. I was always very docile toward him until I realized what he had done to me and my life. I exploded at him, which I now know was the wrong thing to do. Now I'm the narc in his eyes and he's gone no contact. It was just his excuse to detach and abandon me. Anyway, thank you for showing me that I am NOT a narc, although I already knew that. He made me question everything about myself. I'm currently attending regular therapy and also trauma therapy twice a week. I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Moving on with my life and will be taking steps to make sure that this toxic evil person can never find me again.

    • @cgordon1386
      @cgordon1386 4 місяці тому

      Good for you, move far away if you have to. Life is just life wherever you live.

  • @scottadler
    @scottadler Рік тому +23

    My mother was a narcissist AND an explosive borderline. Her three sons arranged for her funeral, but not one of them ever visited her grave. Thanks for the visible scars, ma. Our father was also a narcissist AND a creepy compulsive liar.

    • @zuhairreza
      @zuhairreza 5 місяців тому

      Wow… just.. wow. 😢

    • @cgordon1386
      @cgordon1386 4 місяці тому

      Sad but true, the silver lining is it's over, thank goodness. Can't tolerate these narcissits never again yuk.

  • @athena5222
    @athena5222 2 роки тому +74

    All 10 describe my mother to a T! I am 47 years old and have finally decided to go no contact. It has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.

    • @brianwalsh1401
      @brianwalsh1401 2 роки тому +6

      I'm sorry to hear that but no contact is the only way you keep them from doing their thing. I'm grateful I don't have any cluster B's in my life right now. I was married to a covert narc, my brother was one and my mom and sister were and are borderline. I still have a hard time relaxing from having been around them and many more.

    • @GrahamDyckSinger
      @GrahamDyckSinger 2 роки тому +1

      Sorry to hear. You deserve a loving mother

    • @jessmason2112
      @jessmason2112 2 роки тому

      Unfortunately, I've taken in some stray cats in my time. Was going through some major surgeries, and trying times needing help with the house and bills. I've finally moved from the area. 🙏😇

    • @davidvilabrera
      @davidvilabrera 2 роки тому

      Welcome to the club - now that the constant drama is over, no doubt she will try to call, write or otherwise contact you to worm her way back into your life. Hang up when she calls, mark her letters ' return to sender ' , and run silent, run deep. The peace of mind gained will be so much worth it - and don't get pulled into any guilt trip laid on you by siblings - leave them alone and live your life in peace and tranquility.

    • @jamesac9478
      @jamesac9478 Рік тому +1

      Old comment I see but it's rare to see other kids of mother narcs. I too had to finally close the door ....on my own mom and most people don't get how I can be so cruel.

  • @margiestephens8977
    @margiestephens8977 2 роки тому +185

    Jill, my Grandmother (malignant) AND Mother (combative). I did my due diligence; Mother FINALLY passed at 97. I was in my 70's STILL being her caregiver (slave) who could NEVER do anything right. Until her last day on earth she was STILL talking me down. Hope statement helps someone

    • @donnalehman1832
      @donnalehman1832 2 роки тому +26

      This comment certainty helped me Margie. I'm 61 now. I went no contact 4 years ago. Your comment encourages me to stay no contact. Because they don't change.

    • @michiganmymichigan
      @michiganmymichigan 2 роки тому +14

      You are not alone. Thanks for sharing.

    • @tomjohnson1341
      @tomjohnson1341 2 роки тому +8

      God Bless You. Hopefully you can step into newness of life, such that I am looking for and we can enjoy the time we have left. I am 37, my mom is 67 and I know she will live another 30 + years and probably out live me but I wont be around to see it and they will have a hard time finding my corpse by the time I get done running. Even being housed and fed by these people, you feel so homeless and alone. My the Lord Bring Us His Light Upon Our Future!!

    • @rossdoshna2675
      @rossdoshna2675 2 роки тому +1

      Why did you put up with it?

    • @tomjohnson1341
      @tomjohnson1341 2 роки тому +4

      @@rossdoshna2675 What else would someone do?? I didnt get to choose my parents or the things they choose to teach me, of which none was useful and most was false/lies. I wasnt going to be the person (disrespectful/worthless) they were accusing me of being before I atleast tried very hard and many times to please them. I have done everything I could to get the Good Lord to bring me home, but I guess I havent suffered enough for him to see it fit. Its the only thing I have known, I was raised and trained to obey, regardless

  • @betsygarcia4346
    @betsygarcia4346 8 місяців тому +9

    I live with a female relative with NPD. I think you described 8 out of 10 perfectly for me, especially the jealousy, punishment, silent treatment, and backstabbing.
    Thank you for your video.

  • @Blen451
    @Blen451 Рік тому +3

    Astonishing truth! I have been married to this woman for 40 years. But she had a little boy and I had been an orphan and he needed a dad, A wise man long ago said; "love your enemies" it has made me A better man. That you for sharing your Wisdom. What a beautiful Gift of a day, cheers

  • @josephshepard2962
    @josephshepard2962 2 роки тому +29

    This video perfectly described one of my ex lady friends. She was (and probably still is) very beautiful, but unfortunately, it went to her head. She won the genetic lottery. Long legs, perfect smile, pretty face, and that gave her the right (in her mind) to treat everyone like they were beneath her, including me. Snobbish, condescending attitude, and blatant jealousy towards her younger sister (she nicknamed her "the Golden Child" behind her back and it wasn't a compliment). She went to church on Sundays, but only to keep up appearances, which was a point brought up in the video. My family and friends saw through her right away and told me for months to get rid of her, but hey, I was in love. I don't even want to get into all the gaslighting and double crosses she put me through, because that would take all day. And needless to say, she never took accountability for anything. The manipulation she put me through drove me crazy. The worst was when she tried to convince my family to take her side against me once I finally stood up for myself and called her on her BS.
    Ah well. Life goes on. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and do our best to avoid toxic people like this.

  • @garycordle5295
    @garycordle5295 2 роки тому +38

    This is so true Jill, but toxic is just toxic,if something just don't seem right or you just can't put your finger on listen to your intuition and observe don't absorb and once you know you go you get out and you stay out 🙏🦋.

  • @daviddevault8700
    @daviddevault8700 Рік тому +3

    Asking someone to respect your boundaries shows weaknesses. Ask, tell, make. If after the third warning and strike there are no painful consequences you are week.

  • @BossHossStudios
    @BossHossStudios Рік тому +29

    I finally ended my relationship with my ex who is a narcissist. I should have known. She said every one hates her and she’s constantly a victim. I am so over her shit

    • @ap8441
      @ap8441 Рік тому +1

      Perhaps she had BPD, forgive me if you’re aware of it but if you’re not this is extremely common for them to feel and say. It’s a mental illness from extreme childhood trauma, if they seek therapy could be reversed. Only you would know though. If it is narcissism you surely did the right thing.

    • @BossHossStudios
      @BossHossStudios Рік тому +3

      @@ap8441 it would not surprise me at all. She flips like a light switch. It is so confusing

    • @suko8019
      @suko8019 11 місяців тому

      Dont know if mine was a narc, but the lightbulb finally came on at the end when i realized ehy everyone seemed to “dislike” her

    • @vodkavuitton
      @vodkavuitton 18 днів тому

      Nicki Minaj crying about her self inflicted hate train every time you turn around she's playing games with everyone's lives EXCEPT the ones who prioritized her demise. She's a straight up scary clown

  • @rickmcclelland7362
    @rickmcclelland7362 2 роки тому +18

    Married to a female narcissist and going through the divorce. She is always the victim in any situation, home, work, relationships, you name it and the other person is someone she always points to as a narcissist. Always concerned with her looks and always jealous of every other person on the planet. Bad enough that my son had to come to me and point out that I was the abused person in the marriage and that I needed to do something.

  • @melissahoffman9433
    @melissahoffman9433 2 роки тому +200

    The triangulation, histrionic drama and playing the victim is her three main mo’s. At least in my family.

  • @guylucas6127
    @guylucas6127 5 місяців тому +6

    Wow. You really do know your female narcissist. I wish I knew this information years ago. Thank you.

  • @peterdunn2704
    @peterdunn2704 Рік тому +10

    This is a very good description. The general public should be made to watch this to protect themselves. Thanks

  • @dobrealexvlad
    @dobrealexvlad 2 роки тому +27

    My wife and I just get rid of a narcissist from our lives. She was hitting all points you have described. I feel so proud of our decision.

  • @bradmcewen
    @bradmcewen 2 роки тому +11

    This was like a walk through a past life, emphasis on past.

  • @Skerrydav
    @Skerrydav Рік тому +8

    SO TRUE!! I am a male been ABUSED and just discarded after 17 years. I am LOST!!

    • @JonasAnandaKristiansson
      @JonasAnandaKristiansson Рік тому +3

      David.. You will be Found again, by your own true Self.
      You are Loved!

    • @stephenhusak6098
      @stephenhusak6098 Рік тому +1

      Im lost too after 3 yrs.

    • @cgordon1386
      @cgordon1386 4 місяці тому

      No you're not lost, just exhausted. Go find some birds and listen to them sing a song of freedom, pick yourself up now. You can do this, fake it til you make it :). Do not look back.

  • @jerrieedwards1533
    @jerrieedwards1533 Рік тому +1

    My mother in law will go through my stuff. She has no boundaries whatsoever.

  • @themillennialmindsetchanne5937
    @themillennialmindsetchanne5937 2 роки тому +25

    I was in a relationship for 4 years. It wasn’t until I started going to therapy myself and started to speak up about her lack of accountability, which was non existent. Is when we really started going down hill. I have been blaming myself for years and wonder why I could never make her happy. Why able to be see I was being manipulated and this wasn’t all my fault. I finally let go! It was super hard but I needed to get myself back.

  • @13elad49
    @13elad49 2 роки тому +24

    Right on target! My mother, and sisters...
    No wonder I was the "black sheep" of the family.

  • @peterw4338
    @peterw4338 Рік тому +4

    The problem with a Female Narcissist is that they will be portray themselves as the victim and pursued other that they are the victim.

  • @luciusverus4886
    @luciusverus4886 Рік тому +7

    Wow… every thing you tell is spot on… the laziness … and drama .. spending someone else’s money… etc … mega right .. thank you ! Greetings from Holland 🇳🇱.

  • @8bit_paul
    @8bit_paul 2 роки тому +61

    holy crap I've been out of the relationship for 3 weeks now and I can't believe I didn't put together seeing ALL TEN of these behaviors over the two years we were together. It was #7 (disregarding boundaries) that finally pushed the relationship over the edge, she (mercifully) discarded me and I was able to go grey rock after that and ignore the dozens of texts/emails/phone calls that followed once I started to get educated on this. Thank you Jill!

    • @AngelEyes-xm7el
      @AngelEyes-xm7el 6 місяців тому +2

      She has boundaries but you can't have any boundaries

  • @slowdancer5563
    @slowdancer5563 2 роки тому +18

    Yup! Ya knows of what you speak. 58-year-old man and a proud survivor here. Everything you said is dead on. You nailed it gal.

  • @guineapig5858
    @guineapig5858 Рік тому +9

    My mum has acted like a narcissist, in turn when I was younger I was also narcissistic, I was horrible in primary school as a result, she would pit me against everyone especially my brother so I would get jealous, I realised the issue though after reaching secondary school as my spite was terrible, became the classic pick me girl but then realised my views were horrific, I stopped trying to be smarter than others because I learned everyone has different knowledge and its all epic and didn't care what my mum said about my brother any more, or her jealousy about me getting into uni, I had to think outside the box constantly as a teen as I would have to sort out my own problems, but now I get told I'm too mature for my age and managed to get myself into a relationship with a narcissist and due to my horrific self esteem took me a while to get out. As I would take the blame for everything and not stand my ground, the issue for me now is finding balance.

  • @todeotodeo140
    @todeotodeo140 Рік тому +4

    Wow, the lady I Left or divorced had all ten traits. My goodness. Thank you for the education

  • @LLBB1021
    @LLBB1021 2 роки тому +19

    I was only in for 3 months but in those 3 months.. I lost my savings, my self confidence, and myself. Atleast I was able to break up with her eventually but by that time I was already tapped out of everything. 5 months it took me to get my feet back on the ground. I could only imagine what years does to a person.. the love bombing is a hard thing to shake.

    • @Enafable
      @Enafable 2 роки тому

      It leaves you as a husk of a person.

  • @Spaceman-jo5mz
    @Spaceman-jo5mz 2 роки тому +16

    NAILED IT
    Experienced all 10 of these forms of cruelty with my ex.

  • @2twentysix
    @2twentysix Рік тому +3

    You described my mother in great detail. Thank you for being a giving, helpful, compassionate human being by making this video 🙏

  • @roneenewton5901
    @roneenewton5901 Рік тому

    Thank You for not being biased and keeping it real. 👊🏾🌹

  • @lilrodz
    @lilrodz 2 роки тому +25

    They are all bad experiences, but I feel like the female keeps coming back. In my experiences the male will disappear, but the female does not. Pure evil.

  • @dannykrinkle4726
    @dannykrinkle4726 2 роки тому +7

    If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were speaking directly to me about my ex. If any of you out there find yourself in a relationship with a person like this, GET OUT NOW. I am so happy and fulfilled now that I am rid of her.

  • @ClintDupo
    @ClintDupo Рік тому +7

    These videos are really helping me get through my recent break up. I knew I needed go and now I understand why. Thank you for this.

  • @sharonlampert7452
    @sharonlampert7452 Рік тому +2

    Hi Jill Wise: "Good People Nothing is a Problem; Bad People Everything is a Problem " Your list of 10 TOXIC BEHAVIORS is greatly appreciated - I have witnessed these 10 TOXIC BEHAVIORS! Thank you for your effort to consolidate and communicate the 10 TOXIC BEHAVIORS! I am so sorry to hear that you suffered emotionally at the hands of TOXIC people in your childhood and marriage. You set yourself FREE! You healed yourself! You are warning and waking up people! Thank you!

  • @marygore2497
    @marygore2497 2 роки тому +58

    My mother was a narcissist, I never really understood the true nature of her being a narcissist until I married my husband, he keep telling me what she was, I looked into this and he was right she was, I had gone through hell growing up around her. It had taken years of therapy to understand the beatings the vile name calling and the hate in her, I had nothing to do with her did not go to her or go to her funeral, I have never fell so free when she died, I’m a 64 year old and never would I ever forgive her, to the day I die.

    • @patsyblack7617
      @patsyblack7617 Рік тому +7

      It says to honor thy father and mother but truthfully some parents are disgustingly horrible.

    • @williamcoppage7847
      @williamcoppage7847 Рік тому +10

      Learn to forgive her for yourself. Narcs are victims of childhood traumas they did not deserve. Forgiveness will help give you peace. In no way would that forgiveness be for her or in honor of her! Do it for you! 🍀

    • @marygore2497
      @marygore2497 Рік тому +3

      @@williamcoppage7847 thank you for you’re understanding of narcissist, has gave me comfort I had and never could forgive my mother, but have come to term’s with what she had up us as children through, it took a lot of years but I had got my life back together.

    • @jacquelineglitter4328
      @jacquelineglitter4328 Рік тому +4

      I'm so sorry this happened to you.

    • @annbehenna2027
      @annbehenna2027 Рік тому +4

      You have a good husband for telling you. My mother was a narc as well but I didn't realize until years after she died. Videos like this are what taught me

  • @ronpetrus7676
    @ronpetrus7676 2 роки тому +174

    I was with my ex-girlfriend for 13 months not knowing in the earlier stages of our relationship that she was a narcissist, it became the most difficult time of my life and stressful, the games she played were centralized to her benefit and controlling using her methods that were so natural to her. Anyone who is in a relationship with a narcissist and trying to break away I will tell you be strong and expect her texting you (love bombing) because it will come your way, block her on your phone, Facebook and any other way of contact. If you surrender then the pain and game will start all over again.

    • @brianwalsh1401
      @brianwalsh1401 2 роки тому +9

      Congratulations on getting away. The silver lining to that cloud is you have a better chance of not getting with another one. And when and if you get a with a decent person you will have gratitude. Good luck my friend.

    • @ofentsemoswetsi901
      @ofentsemoswetsi901 2 роки тому +1

      True that im breaking free 1month in no contact problem is i have 6year old boy with her

    • @Joe-rx7ht
      @Joe-rx7ht 2 роки тому

      You are so on point. This has happened to me on 2 occasions already. Wow.

    • @ronpetrus7676
      @ronpetrus7676 2 роки тому +1

      @@ofentsemoswetsi901 regarding having a child is greater challenge for you than it was with my situation, maybe seek therapist to guide you…

    • @ronpetrus7676
      @ronpetrus7676 2 роки тому +1

      @@Joe-rx7ht You differently learn the narcissist characteristics and gain strength understanding it’s a game to them..

  • @timothyboggs5765
    @timothyboggs5765 5 місяців тому

    Thank You for nailing it on the head. It was so encapsulated that my life for the last two years flashed before my eyes.

  • @9parasqn656
    @9parasqn656 Рік тому +3

    You described all the traits of a psychopath. Narcissist and psycho are clearly of the same mind set. Here's the thing though; I dated a narc 20 years ago and it was hell, but the sex was amazing. I have just split with the girl I have been dating for 6 years and who I adore. I am hoping she'll come back and have been on many coaching sites to hold out hope. ( The reason as far as I can fathom is due to her menopausal hormones. Can't be 100% sure but I am here for her when she's ready. I love her deeply ).
    In the meantime, I have my ex - the narcissist - coming round to see me. I am hoping to retrieve the engagement ring and necklace I bought her before she dumped me 20 years ago for one of her other lovers (who she married for just under 1 year and fleeced him of his home ). I will also use her as far as I am able. Cold revenge is sweet. Can't wait.

  • @theobnoxiousweed
    @theobnoxiousweed 2 роки тому +36

    I attracted three in a row. Women who all had similar stories of a recent former ex boyfriend who was abusive. Once the initial dazzling was done and they all dazzled the inner self was revealed and each in different ways was abusive, controlling, deflecting, unable to handle criticism and ready to demonstrate how easily you can be replaced. Each one I had to escape. Now I have to check myself why I find the positive energy of narcissistic behaviours so attractive. They're just go engaging before the facade is revealed.

    • @apontutul
      @apontutul Рік тому +5

      Seriously, I too have the same experience. Why do they come to us!? Now I'm scared of any girl showing interest in me

    • @LifeIsGood1992
      @LifeIsGood1992 Рік тому +4

      Shit happens to me twice, I think this is because they know which triggers to pull regarding sexuality, remember that you can be with a sane girl and you can enjoy your sexual fantasies in the future step by step given the fact that we - empaths- are mostly BPD so we are acting impulsevly and we think that this girl will be great forever exactly like during the love bombing episode, come on guys.. It's called bombing, so it's unnatural, look for a natural healthy girl and no fancy shit. Father always told me : what comes easily goes easily.

    • @jellybean6778
      @jellybean6778 Рік тому +6

      You may be an empath. They seek them out because empaths are willing sources of narc supply. That is the entire point of you being with her (in their view).

    • @theobnoxiousweed
      @theobnoxiousweed Рік тому +6

      True that empathic people are the best targets for narcissists as they are the most likely to tolerate their behaviour or at least try to reason with it rather than simply walk away. It was the hardest thing to comes to terms with that someone you loved and felt loved you only saw you as a utility to their chaotic needs. The only positive is that once you escape you realise the truth in that Bukowski poem
      "There are worse things than being alone, but it often takes decades to realize this, and most often when you do it's too late...
      And there's nothing worse than too late."

  • @sunnydaye5942
    @sunnydaye5942 2 роки тому +15

    Yes thats my mother and the 2 step moms I had. Its no wonder I thought all were that way until I kept marrying men just like them. Single now and aware. 12 yrs NC with mom. The two step moms died horribly.

  • @dexterlockett4813
    @dexterlockett4813 Рік тому +3

    "Wow"... Is an absolute understatement!!!
    I don't even know how I ran into this video, but it was right on time... This video is absolutely SPOT ON ACCURATE!!!
    I definitely needed to hear the information provided, it explains literally EVERYTHING!!!

  • @rodhollomon8868
    @rodhollomon8868 5 місяців тому

    This is ABSOLUTELY eerily spotTF on! Wow I finished the video 30 min ago and am still shocked and amazed by how spot on she was in this video

  • @Azally_Az
    @Azally_Az 2 роки тому +45

    You have just described my elderly Sister. She is all 10 traits/ behavior !!! She caused so much damaged to me and my life… . Thank you so much for your videos.

    • @sandyo1063
      @sandyo1063 2 роки тому +4

      I have a sister-in-law just like this too. All 10 traits.

    • @christinalw19
      @christinalw19 2 роки тому +7

      Me, too, dear one. My sister is 8 1/2 years older and ruined the first 50 years of my life. I am now trying to enjoy my own elder years without her. But I am so resentful, it’s not easy. 😢

    • @sandyo1063
      @sandyo1063 2 роки тому +1

      @@christinalw19 we all need to learn to stop putting people up on a pedestal. Even our children.
      If we do that and they reject us, or do something to disappoint us, then it breaks our hearts.
      I learned that my dreams for my children were not their dreams. Once I figured that out, I was able to move on and make new dreams for myself.
      I am at peace and I started a new life in another state, near my original family, which is my brothers and their wives and family.
      I had over 30 family members at my house last Thanksgiving. I then had 20 people over at my house for a Christmas Ornament Party the next month. We all had a blast. Several of my friends from California have come to visit me where I live now. We have such a good time together too.

    • @rooismum1023
      @rooismum1023 2 роки тому

      @@christinalw19I'm 57, mine is 21 yrs older, she had no children by choice, used me as a substitute as part of her fake life. With the understanding of my partner and these channels I'm learning to become immune. 🇬🇧💕

    • @yvonneholmes2990
      @yvonneholmes2990 Рік тому

      Same herex

  • @johnspindler9732
    @johnspindler9732 2 роки тому +10

    I am 61 divorced after 30 years you couldn’t be more spot on and I wish I had this information 45 years ago and save myself a lifetime of trouble everything you said here is true I’ve experienced it all with her

    • @joanngross786
      @joanngross786 Рік тому

      In these modern times, you're still a 'young' man'. There are plenty of good women looking for a real man to have a fulfilling, joyful life with! Stand up straight and pull those masculine shoulders back, you're more than able to conquer the world with your charisma and determination. God bless you!!

  • @Homicidal357
    @Homicidal357 Рік тому

    Thank you for that very informative and detailed breakdown touching on so many key points while highlighting identifying characteristics and behaviors. They have this miraculous ability to go undetected extremely well, but yet conduct themselves in a very textbook manner.

  • @jimmfitz9828
    @jimmfitz9828 Рік тому +1

    Great video. Thank you for this information. You are helping people more than you can ever imagine. It it all about survival and we need each other.

  • @misty1tl
    @misty1tl 2 роки тому +25

    I had a narcissist friend who’d host gift exchanges during Christmas. She was always comparing the gifts other people received and would suggest how fun it would be to trade the gifts we received in order to get the gift she liked better. Apparently she went too far one Christmas and her husband cancelled all further gift exchanges.

    • @renee4053
      @renee4053 Рік тому +4

      Sounds like the episode of The Office where Michael Scott got pissed because he got an oven mitt! 😅

    • @michelleduncan9965
      @michelleduncan9965 10 місяців тому +1

      Wow, what a cool husband she had. HE SET THE BOUNDARIES & said no more gift exchanges. I'm impressed.

  • @erikturner5073
    @erikturner5073 2 роки тому +16

    Some female narcissist are also selective in choosing their victims, and also will need an audience/support group. He image of so called innocence and covering her tracks will be most important, especially when telling lies. My ex who I divorced TRIED to ruin the relationship I had with my late Mother. I married her back when I didn't acknowledge the red flags I saw and I didn't understand or did research into psychology, and behaviors like narcissism. Wished I had done the research years sooner.

  • @jay120589
    @jay120589 Рік тому +1

    She just described my mom and a lot of other people that I see everyday, men & women. Be Careful with these people. Thanks for the content, it was very educational.

  • @Journeyman-Fixit
    @Journeyman-Fixit Рік тому +1

    Thanks for uploading this, very enlightening!

  • @robertl7239
    @robertl7239 2 роки тому +18

    WOW! You perfectly described one of my siblings. To the unsuspecting, she's the well-rounded and well-intentioned, perfect person ...only she isn't. She's quick to swoop in and solve your problems and become your "best friend". She understands the power of exploiting social media to publicly (fake) praise her friends and family, always seeming to have a kind comment or symbolic gesture to throw their way. She understands how to pit people against each other while at the same time pretending to be the stable one who "cares". Narcissists are masters of illusion and deception, which is how they get their prey to relax their guard. It took over 50 years to escape the family connection to a Toxic Narcissist, but I finally walked away. No more drama, gifts, superiority, games, and/or gaslighting.
    P.S. That particular sibling is well known for saying to her husband, "I'm not feeling special!", which means he better go out and buy her something nice or she'll unleash her wrath on his life. She has him well trained and, of course, he complies.

    • @jimbeam7160
      @jimbeam7160 Рік тому

      Don't ever take a gift from these wackos. I told them....there will be no B-day dinners or gifts...and for Christmas, I have no interest in exchanging gifts. It's important to let these idiots know, "you are not letting them in" with mere gifts.......usually cheap gifts that you didn't need or want....proving, that no thought about you went into the gift.

  • @Bishop472
    @Bishop472 2 роки тому +12

    It would be so good to find a good woman who is not a narcissist. A narcissist is bad news period. Stay away from them. They will ruin your reputation and your life as well.

    • @dennismclaurin1487
      @dennismclaurin1487 3 місяці тому

      Especially a narcissist who's a Jezebel type.
      There's plenty of those types teaching their wrong judgments today, as relates in Rev.2:20
      These are the last days, where there's a noticeable increase of lovers of themselves and false accussers, spoken of in 2TIM.3:1-3

  • @FoundNoWiser333
    @FoundNoWiser333 Рік тому +3

    Wow... If I had any doubts about my female "best friend" they're gone now. Point for point she matched these examples. I'm glad she's out of my life. Finally feeling peace about it. Thank you for sharing this.

  • @tanyaallenbach8042
    @tanyaallenbach8042 Рік тому +4

    Thank you soo much for making this video. I have been dealing with narcissists my whole life and you helped me remember that I am not a narc like all the narcs keep telling me I am when they are acting abusive..

    • @samscarletta7433
      @samscarletta7433 9 місяців тому

      They ALL follow the same playbook. Narcs always accuse others of being narcs. The vile creatures are predictable, if nothing else.

  • @Onibocho11
    @Onibocho11 2 роки тому +11

    Thank you for this video. When I went though this, I had no idea what narcissism was. I found out about the lies and cheating via text messages. When confronted, The narc expressed no remorse, but instead anger. She was mad I found out and then held her accountable by throwing her out. So two narc injuries. She begged me for marriage counseling. I reluctantly agreed. During six sessions, never took any accountability. Consequently, to this day no apologies. Also, I would learn later, not only was she still betraying me with the “old friend”(during counseling), she started a two year affair with one of my “friends”. He was also married. I think he may be a narc too. It’s sickening to know how entitled and evil these people are.

    • @cgordon1386
      @cgordon1386 4 місяці тому

      Hope you got out and started enjoying your life :).

  • @matthewbennettdavey5864
    @matthewbennettdavey5864 2 роки тому +10

    The best defense against any Narc is being prepared to walk away from any person who isn't respecting you. Respect yourself by projecting you yourself are a person who respects yourself, a person who will not tolerate their behavior. They will do two things if you're in this mindset:
    1. Not bother with you to begin with or...
    2. Have respect for you by not pushing you too hard. Because they'll know you'll leave or just cut them out.
    Never forget these are the most predictable people alive. Use this tip to be prepared when in their presence and ultimately keep yourself safe.

    • @FlanaFugue
      @FlanaFugue Рік тому +1

      "the most predictable people alive" - nice one!

  • @raphaelanyie5140
    @raphaelanyie5140 Місяць тому

    Thank you. Your video has given me the guts to show her the door. She has everything you highlighted. Thank you

  • @donnavickery9623
    @donnavickery9623 Рік тому +4

    Thank you Jill. That was a wonderful description of a female narcissist!!!!