Well said but... no one cares. Women could not care less that men are abused and for the most part neither does society. They dont and I think it would help men a great deal to understand this.
As a guy, I can confirm this and the greater reluctance of society to recognize it. I feel I was trained most of my early life to hold things in, never share vulnerabilities, etc - hogwash, that only wrecks mental health - seek the proper support, join a men's health group, join a family oriented group of healthy families that had to learn social support for everyone.
They abuse just about everyone. This man I know has been married for 10 years. His wife is a narcissist. He has changed so much. He use to be a fun loving person. He is not the same.
It’s hard to reconcile with the fact you were manipulated cause you always leave the abuse feeling like you are the bad guy. It’s hard to maintain emotional control
1.) Loves to utilize the silent treatment ✔ 2.) Withholds love and affection ✔ 3.) Utilizes the guilt trip✔ 4.) Shaming,humiliation ✔ 5.) Gaslighting and projection✔ The female narcissist tend to get worse with age
Love starved during my 20+ yrs of marriage only to get divorced and start seeing the mother of all domestic violence, abuse, manipulation and narcissism. I'd love to think she's in jail but I know better. Anyway, 3 yrs now with my little sex kitten and she knows how to treat her man. Don't give up bro.
I agree. I have CPTSD from my mom. When I got out, I realized I have no more tolerance for that bullshit. Want to piss them off? Act like you’re unaffected by what they say or do. Now, I have a narc professor, reminds me so much of her.
Sometimes being alone gives you 100x more motivation than with ludicrous women. They just want you to stay on your lap, rather than working together as one. They want to drag you, just cause theyre insecure they cant do anything themselves. Humanity i lost faith@NFTeve
I am immune to all 5 of these tactics, and the way I became immune to them was by living with a narcissistic woman who tried all of them on me. I came to the conclusion that I needed to just ignore her tactics and just go on living my own life my way, and when she realised that none of it worked, she stopped. I still left, knowing that it wouldn't end, and now am much happier, and wiser.
yeah i smell them quick too and if you ever want to test your gut instinct just use give them a small dose of their own remedy . best one the silent treatment and you'll find it quick!
People like her should really speak out against Anime and Manga, especially those which promote Narcissists like Asuka Langley Soryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Seriously entire generations of youth, teens and other people are being brainwashed into either becoming Narcissists, condoning Narcissists and falling victim to Narcissists.
My ex wife would keep everything secret, then at the 11th hour when things werent the way they were supposed to be she would come to me and get me to right the issues. Women that had a high body count of sexual partners are experts at keeping things secret. Court her through 4 seasons before you commit. I fell in love too quick, found out all the past, and made the worst decision of my life to think that i could manage it.
did not find out my ex wifes father was a pc of sh it alcoholic until several yrs after we were married. she conveniently forgot that lil detail along the way. sure did explain a lot of her actions tho. she conducted herself just like a alkie without the drink.
Been with more than one! Have kids with both! Both kids used against me! Didn't think I would be destroyed twice this way. Didn't even think I had feelings capable of being hurt until the second!
@@jonathanthomas320 I feel you man. If you can't get visitations or have visitation and she still puts you through hell you will have to emotionally detach yourself from them. It will hurt but she knows giving you hell damages you emotionally. That shit will take years off your life span. You can be a 100% father when they turn 18 Then you will get the unconditional love and bond your looking for without the stress holding children hostage.
@@brandongooch4243 it's hard. I have already detached myself from her! And I am not sure if it's ever going to be 💯 I've known her since 12 am 44. But detaching myself from the kids is even harder! I'm a human after all. And when my daughter who's 22 now turned 18 had already had enough of the mother that I have been trying to get in touch with her. My kids are to much like me. Very stubborn! Just can't believe that I was dumb enough to start the whole process over again. The son is 2.5 years old. Been working on the emotional detachment,but then again I didn't think anyone could get past the walls of the first one! The worst thing is I was Best friend with her since 12. Lost touch for years and Bam.
My ex-wife would dress up just to take a picture on social media and see see how many likes she gets because her image means alot to her .she tries hard to portray an image to the outside but at home she is very domineering, spiteful, manipulative and evil like a Dr.jekyl and Mr Hyde comparison living with her was like walking on eggshells I just could not believed I marry her of all the choices I had she surely did a heck of a job to fool me. This is a great video your analysis is spot on
@@FuneralFather don’t live in fear. Trust and love your girl but don’t be naive. Don’t let the experiences of other ruin your image rather, learn from their mistakes and mold them into strengths of your own
🍃✨🥀Sorry, that u went through that. 🍃I Hope Yr a Stronger Person now & Hopefully u can Spot the Signs now.🍃🥀 🩸🥀Be Happy & Believe u Deserve it... Bc we all do.🐞✨... I've been there & I will Never Allow it again.✨🥀. ✨☘️✨Stay Strong❗Love YRSELF ❗1st✨... & Stay True 2 who u know u r...🥀Always🥀..
Go to Mgtow sites Immediately for Knowledge about How Feminism Weaponized Womens Pre-existing Female Nature, Which IS Hypergamous And Follows Briffaults Law.
My X once called me a narcissist, I didn't know what that was. I looked up and researched it's meaning. What I learned was enlightening, and soon came to the realization that I wasn't the one who was a narcissist. What I was in however, was a narcissistic relationship. I can't even describe the manipulation, the abuse and the loneliness I felt being with her. It's ruined my mental state and life as I knew it. I'd like to think I'm in recovery, but I'm not sure.
This is exactly what mine did to me. They are the same in a female/female relationship. 3 years but I won. I was called a narcissist, manipulative, passive, aggressive, selfish and I only did things if they benefited me. Every one of these things is what she was doing. Luckily, I was married to my ex-wife for 20 years and she was not at all like that. I believe she realized she wasn’t gonna bring me down. My self-worth was too high. I blocked every form of communication and haven’t looked back. She was one of my childhood friends so that hurt the most. She is and always will be a horrible person. I’m better today than I EVER have been.
I learnt exactly the same way. I didn't know what one was either. But before I had even finished reading about it everything clicked into place and I finally understood what had happened to me and I ended my marriage of 22 years. 2 years have passed now and I hope I am finally starting to find myself again.
Sir TY for the explanation. I am in a relationship with a black man that was gang related with a criminal past. We are older now. But now I know that he's mixing up these tactics with the gang related tough act stuff. 😧Time for therapy and 😠👊 because I use the man related behaviors mixed with women ways. WTF 😲 I don't know how that happened because we still really love each other dearly after all the shit we've been through. I guess we mixed the good and the bad and made it work
This is scary because it is 1000% my experience. I was with an awful, awful person and once during a heated fight (that surprise surprise she started) she called me a narcissist. At the time I thought that word was used to describe someone who thought too much of themselves, after this accusation I looked it up and was blown away by (ironically) how perfectly it described my ex. Hence "projection" as one of the primary traits of a narcissist. She inadvertently educated me that day, I realized I was actually the victim of narcissistic abuse and now am easily able to detect people with this horrible character trait.
I have found through the years this; if the narcissist doesn’t change their ways, life ends up horrible for them. The end game is never good for the unrepentant narcissist.
It seems to me the entire game in no good for them, aside from the few moments where they genuinely get to demolish someone, and get praise for it from everyone. But that's all they care about.
The worst thing about being in a relationship with an abusive woman is that she'll usually tell everyone YOU where the abusive one before anyone can find out what she was doing, and because she's the woman and you're the man she WILL be believed. My ex wife beat the crap out of me and controlled me for 8 long years, then when we broke up she ruined my life (homelessness, prison, constant harassment to this day, I can't have social media or friends, can't get a girlfriend because my ex wife reappears when she finds out and does what it takes to ruin the relationship, havent seen my sons for nearly 7 years)by convincing everyone I was the one hitting her during the relationship and harassing her after, which I never did and its completely the other way around. I didn't even notice anything was wrong until after the relationship when it was far too late.
My wife did the same thing,I didn't know what it even was,looked it up and every example I read was her. Even told her little klick of friends that I was a narcissist and abusing her. But several years later I'm still here and that same group of friends still think I am a piece of 💩. Hang in there. One day at a time.
The Science You have learnt a very important lesson !!!! Women are Poison !!! So you need to live life to please yourself !!!! If you go into another Relationship the same thing will happen !!!! The only difference between Women is that some look nice to You !!!! It`s all inside your own head !!!! If you are single you can have loads of Women !!! Just don`t get married or Live with them, and don`t spend any money on them, Chad and Tyrone don`t !!!!!
Women are evil, there are very few women who have any soul. Always watch out for women who love animals more than humans.males are weak as ever that is why women do what they do, because males give them too much attention. I broke up with a Chinese few years ago and a Mexican recently. Both of these women were the ones who approached me on a study app. When I told them I am not interested they use their dirty sad tactics, to tug at heart strings. They pretend they want to study when in fact they look at me as some sex object, and their emotional tissue..I study human nature, also know as psychology. Let me tell you women can't love, they are with you for what you can do for them, and how great you can make them feel.. And dumb males are with them for their body. I have now passed that stage of letting them use their body to catch me. I just focus on home improvements read, gym and martial arts. This helps me to be firm from now on.
One of my half sisters would treat me like I was invisible, wouldn’t even acknowledge my presence even in the same room. I was non existent. Lucky for me, I cut her off 14 years ago and still have nothing to do with her
👏👏👏 u not the only one. I cut everyone i share dna with off. Notice i didnt call them familly just people I have the misfortune of sharing dna with BIG!!! difference!
I did that. Then I gave her another chance. Moved to NC to be with her. I REGRET IT! No time to spend with me or money to pay me back but has time and money to be the prom queen at the bar
I think I was probably in 9th grade maybe 10th grade when they made students in our state take Psychology in High School. We had to write a paper. I wrote my paper on how American Society in the 20th century had changed the Psychology of American women. I later re-wrote it & used it in college but I got crucified for the things I pointed out & how narcissism was thought to be primarily a male characteristic and how it was actually women as a group and individually that demonstrated narcissistic behavioral patterns more prominently. I gave examples and supports. This was WAY before you ever heard Narcissism and women put in the same sentence which is pretty common now. The only reason I did my paper on that is because I had been thinking about that since I was a child. My own mother was/is that way. Her sister is that way. Most of the mothers of the girls I went to school with were that way. I just wanted to know why. Women were placed on a pedestal in Western Society because of Feminism sure but also because of Advertising and Marketing where they were objectified as the most desirable and effective sales tactic Capitalism has at its disposal. Anyway, it was a very detailed paper written by a 15 year old that was probably a good 20 years ahead of its time. Point is the power of observation and reason doesn't just belong to the academic. Its belongs to the thinking, breathing, feeling, conscious human being. We can trust our instincts even they lead us down avenues of thought that aren't popular at the time.
@@thetruthchannel349 Sounds interesting. I had a pretty tough go of things in high school because of my similar observation. I'm pretty sure everybody else knew it too and just accepted the lines we were fed. That's just the way things are. The girls weren't going to give up their advantage by admitting it, and the boys still wanted to pork the girls, so they too said nothing.
I have just walked out of a 17 year relationship, and you just described my ex-fiance to a tee. I'm literally in tears. I felt like you were a fly on the wall in our relationship, it's surreal. Thank you for posting this video. I needed this. ❤️
My ex wife used everyone of these tactics on me. Luckily, I was seeing a psychologist for my combat related PTSD. He really helped me to see these tactics for what they were, and helped me navigate the "rocks and shoals". After my divorce, and two years of treatment, he told me that I had come a long way. That when I first started therapy, he could feel the anger I projected when I walked into the room. In the end, I won! I married a wonderful woman who actually helps me with my PTSD. My ex is still bouncing from man to man.
They usually do to get their toxic feed until they end up with someone that's better than them on the same game like a narcissist or one of those few empathic individuals that fuck them up and use them.
You described my mother’s techniques! The longest silent treatment went for six months when I was a teenager. Thanks to information like this, I survived and finally I can live a happy life. Gratitude!
I hear you!! It took me until my mid 40s to realise that my mother is a sick narcissist. She is currently divorcing from my dad after 50 years of marriage.. They are bothnim in their late 70s and she is behaving like iits a War of The Roses. Unbelievable the lying, gaslighting, distortion of reality to suit her story. She has blocked me on WhatsApp a month ago as I "dared" to rip her mask of in front of the judge. I have never been more peaceful since she blocked me :-)
@@difigfs I am so sorry to read your story and really hope that you are doing better now. You are one hell of a strong strong woman to have held up until your 50's before the melt down. I salute you. I hope the knowledge that your mother is "sick" will help you to close the door on her. My dad tried to commit suicide when he first was thrown in to the "divorce ring". by her. I was on suicide watch for months. I truly hated my mother for years. Now , two years after the worst time imaginable, I can honestly say that I am on the road of full detachment and have found that thinking of her does hardly hurt anymore. My aim is for her existence to become trivial to me. That would be the best place to be. Wishing you and all other kind souls on this journey love and light.
@@nathaliemccaughey5456 thank you. Wishing you peace and closure. It is so hard to comprehend the lack of the natural mother/child attachment that is so normal for many . I'm grateful to have it with my own children and admittedly had to unlearn toxic behaviors and break the chain.
Lived 15 years in a relationship with a narcissist. It is not a understatement to say it ruined my life. Still recovering now with ongoing health issues 7 years after the fact. It's good to see knowledge spreading about narcissism. I see the problems with narcissists go way beyond our personal lives, it impacts our societies as well as development as a species. Narcissists love and gravitate towards positions of power and influence in society, and are naturally attracted by corruption.
Lived this in a 25 year marriage. I hung in there trying to "fix things" and "stay the course" etc. I am intellectually intelligent, but emotionally not so much. I was blind to the emotional abuse, and I struggle with feeling bad about myself because I tolerated it for so long. Near the end it got ugly because I finally started to stand up for myself. She would go NUCLEAR (though never physical) when I dared to press her HARD for accountability. I become relentless. I threatened to bring a priest over and FORCE her to do a confession. She never did anything wrong, was the victim, and I was the source of all her/our issues. I believed this for too long. I went to counseling by myself to try and fix "my issues" in order to heal the relationship. What I soon discovered was that it wasn't all my fault (and in fact was by FAR more her fault), and that I could not fix things in the relationship by myself. I went months without the slightest warmth or affection being directed at me. I often went over a year between sexual events. I was so down on myself, and felt so unloved and unattractive. And yet, I felt (because of her manipulation) that it was all my fault and that I did it to myself. I bent over backwards to try to please her and "win her back" to no avail. I begged her to try and work on the relationship, and establish an emotional connection. I told her she doesn't put any effort into the marriage. She got mad and said she just invited me to go get dinner at a restaurant. I said that's not working on a relationship, that's feeding yourself. I am close to ending the marriage, just some final paperwork. I have healed a lot, but there are some wounds that are so deep I'm worried they will never heal. When a woman that you gave everything you have to for 3 decades takes away so much of you, the tattered remnants of my heart and soul may never completely heal. I've silently cried for myself way too many times for 5 lifetimes, let alone one. I just pray to God for healing and ask that he repair my crippled heart and mind. Every day is a challenge, but I'm now with an empath that loves me for me. We are very close and I love her dearly, but the wide open heart of youth that trusts and is able to love 100% is not within me yet. Perhaps with time it will be. I carry on though and try to find something to feel joy and appreciation for every day.
You CAN do this! Live your best life, you’ve already started by shutting the door on her. You recognised everything and said ‘no more’! I’m so proud of you, thrilled you’ve found someone who is not anything like your soon to be ex and YOU ARE HELPING YOURSELF! Well done. Your heart will open again fully, trust will come fully. Give yourself time, don’t fret over it or feel badly about it.
I did it for 1 decade and feel like you do i couldnt imagine 3 decades i believe time is the healer i did it for the same reasons too so i can relate. You are a very strong person for withstanding it for so long and surviving it in my eyes WE WON .
Hey man, sometimes I don't know why I'm here on this side of UA-cam once in awhile over the years, because I'm actually a man who's intentionally dodged full commitment his whole life due to not being ready, Saturn in Sagittarius in my birth chart, religious upbringing w/ massive benefits & also accompanying youthful blind spots, and a very high IQ / amazing stubborn streak for *waiting* to find the right girl when my life is also right. Anyway, it's like I'm so opposite that the spectrum wraps downward on both sides like a circle, and we meet a little bit. Kind of like the political spectrum. The way I see this being true here is that I can encourage you with my completely stubborn and also completely overly-studied opinion that aging, and even a failure to reverse aging, are unnecessary now (at this time in history.) Thinking, sleeping, eating, and exercising as would be required is of course more expensive, as a disclaimer, but you can reap amazing benefits seriously within days. This is going to sound stupid, but adopt a zero- or close-to zero-carb diet but with gratuitous amounts of grass-fed animal fat if (+ as) you can, eat exclusively grass-fed meat to the degree that you can, supplement the 7 forms of magnesium (or even better, eat liver at least once a week for the huge dose of magnesium and every vitamin but C,) and take up drinking bone broth from grass-fed animals. You can make that in the Crock-Pot or pressure cooker. The bone broth is especially magical to experience before you've read up on it, as is the liver in a different way, and also raw eggs are kind of a geometric mean of the two. I know this probably all sounds ridiculous right now, so I just want to say that I'm so massively sorry for what she did to you. I hope you keep progressing well toward understanding that it wasn't your fault. Honestly, it perhaps can't even be said that it was her fault, what life turned her into. Perhaps this knowledge might serve as the last little key for forgiving her also, while you are forgiving yourself, and ultimately for allowing you to process and let go of all of the final vestiges of the grief, when you are ready. Sorry man, but definitely keep on keeping on the right path. Also, it's manifest that you're also helping others when you share, as others have done for you. God bless you.
Good for you, I'm 2 years out of the relationship and still struggling, I can't seem to find anyone that wants the kind of love that I am used to giving, total and absolute. Maybe noone exists that wants to be loved with the kind of love I'm used to giving. The kind of love that was demanded of me by my wife of 22 years. I adored her but nothing I ever did was good enough or worth anything.
Many narcissists will go so far as to tell lies which will destroy a reputation, a career, family relationships. They don't want to just strike someone, they usually go for a death blow. That she did not do that to you is something you should feel grateful for and appreciation for everyday.
I had a job and the female supervisor started hitting on me on orientation day. It continued until I failed to respond for about a month and she terminated me. I found out 2 years later she was filing temporary restraining orders on me. I eventually got served. The woman judge was absolutely unreasonable and validated the order. Bizarre experience.
Wow. This vid describes my ex wife completely. She wasn’t like that at first but it gradually came out. The manipulations and abuse. It started out verbally, emotionally, and psychologically, then later she became physically abusive. She hit me all the time and threw things at me. When I lost my parents she became worse and really did a number on me. Thank god my best friend stepped in. He moved me into his guest house and got me counseling. I’ve struggled with mild mental handicaps all my life and she took advantage of me. She pretty much ended up with everything I own and took everything my parents left me, but thanks to my best friend I was able to get my parents house back.
She ghosted me for 6 months. Then came back and said I was emotionally abusive. The gaslighting and the projection were so damaging. I still struggle with questioning the things she said about me
Don't even question them. They're utterly unreliable. She's like a rattlesnake. You don't hate the snake for being a cold blooded venomous reptile. You just avoid her at all costs. Done!
My ex did the silent treatment qnd blocked me off projected on me and when I would lose my rag said I was toxic and bombarding her. F these evil people
Oh and projection has to be the most frustrating thing to deal with. It’s absolutely impossible to reason with someone using this tactic. My advice... Get Out
Number one is to lure you in with the temptation of sex. Number two, When you are hooked, she will ration the sex to her needs. If she wants something, the sex increases, when she is sated it deminishes. Number three, she has entrapped another man outside your relationship, then the silent treatment starts, no matter how many times you ask her what is wrong, she will not discuss anything with you and this can go on for weeks. Number four, she has to be the centre of attention in public and will put you down if you try to take poll position from her, she is impervious to others reactions. Number five, When she has milked you dry of every penny and emotion you have left, she makes life so imposible, you have to leave. Love is as destructive, as is the agenda of the narcissist.
As much damage as a 4-year relationship with a pedophile stepfather did it was nothing compared to the abuse my narcissistic mother did. I've been trying to work through that damage my entire life. Our culture comes across as implying that only men are abusers and that the only really damaging abuse is sexual abuse. Yet, from what I have seen in my 71 years there are plenty of females who create emotional devastation, which lasts an entire lifetime, in those who come in contact with her.
You are touching on a huge flaw in our system here. Those women will receive no punishment for the damage, and will even be allowed to continue damaging the kids.
@@poulwinther you are absolutely correct. Our system sees women as victims and men as perpetrators. That generalization is there on every level. I am a great-grandmother, 71 years of age. I have seen that cloak expressed as an unspoken rule in the 1950s and 60s. Beginning in the 70s with the uptick in the feminist movement it has reached new heights of cruelty and deception. Today a woman can make a false accusation against a man and destroy his career, his family, his life. That happens because women are seen as victims now more than ever before. We even have political candidates like Hillary Clinton stating, her words exactly, "All women must be believed". How ridiculous that is, and how much damage it does, not just to men but to children, to entire families caught up in this awful confusion, is incalculable. We need to look beneath the veil of 'all women are victims' and start to hold women strictly accountable.
My now husband suffered this with his ex, it was me that picked up on this ,i helped him to see !!! Now he is happy and she is ignored. I feel for all of you that have gone through this abuse😢 stay strong and live your best happy life 😊😊😊
Wow! Spot on! The silent treatment was BRUTAL! - I’d rather be yelled at. Withholding love and affection made me try everything in my power to get it back. The shaming and humiliation happened seldom, but it was employed in a pretty demoralising way… The gaslighting and projection just left me confused and wondering if I was actually going insane. If anyone is in this situation, run for the hills! If you have children with them, don’t worry, they’ll understand later in life ❤️
I don't know what to make of your comment 😔😔😔😥😥😥. Because this is me. I have gone over 40 days without being shown love. Touched. Kissed. I'm going crazy. Most of the time she wanna tell her issues and I must be interested. And I must be happy or else… I so love her to bits 😪😪😪. But I wanna leave. I wanna leave 😭😭😭. Life is too short. I need help from a friend or something just to have a place to crash while I regain myself.
I can relate to this! I get the silent treatment which I refer to as "the eleventeen days thing" because there is no telling how long the silence will last. She can be that way for days or even multiple weeks at a time. And it can be for the most trivial things. I wish you all the best and remember to practice self-care and self-improvement. We have to learn to love ourselves
I was lied on to the police by my wife after I stood up for myself and said I wasn’t going to go along with her abusive behavior, gaslighting, and manipulating. She said she was going to her mother’s house and went to the police station to file a false report to get me out of the house. She put a retraining order on me and threw away my belongings from our house. She called my job and got me fired. Pressing false charges in court to keep me without a job. Has my kids lying on me. I’m going thru it. I can’t believe I chose a person who can do this to her kids and myself. I disappointed and broken hearted. I’ve never been betrayed by someone this bad.
These exact 5 things happened to me. I knew something was up. But didn’t know what was happening. I felt like I was walking on eggshells. I went to a psyche and discussed it in detail. She confirmed either Narc or BDP. Absolutely most horrific experience of my life and I still have trouble trying to explain it to people. It’s been almost 4 years now. I’ll never look at women the same ever again.
My nex did all of this to me, to the very extreme!! I literally felt as though I was going crazy! Couldn't get enough men in her life! Of course they were all "friends", as she claimed. She was not very good with having female friends. The only females that she kept around were the ones that continued to praise her constantly and that she could do no wrong. They are very twisted, sick and demented people!
she doesn't know how to love or care for you or any man as a person...only what they can do for her. she is trapped in a permanent cycle of addiction to attention and entitlement to servitude. she owns any man who cannot tame their lust toward her or think their money, time and anything they offer will make her happy. nothing is further from the truth. characters like her unfortunately are permanently delusional and unhappy. no capacity to love...only knows to use others and engraft them into a web of dark messy, unfulfilled relationships with hopes of an outcome they will never own. she does even know what she want herself... leave tricks like that to the curb side fit for the recycling bin. heal and be well. learn and be free from her schemes. never look back...keep moving on to better options grounded in knowledge. be resentment free. it's a journey and abundant life is out there of you reach forward. "she" represents the main idea of a twisted narcissist with traits matching the experiences you presented to best of my interpretation at first read. just encouraging victims to rise above the chaos of experiences like this, connect the dots through understanding and be free....this the main central aim and focus of my reply here
yep, just like my Narc, i notice Narc girl are jealous for whatever reason she had ..... sometimes i baffle at how insecure she is, but i will lash out as Narc Rage, hahahaha
My ex wife mastered a skill I couldn’t comprehend until about a year before our divorce: Any time there was an argument, she would talk to me as if I was a third person. I mean that literally. Initially it used to drive me absolutely insane, because really? Who does that? But when I finally figured it out, no more engagement from me. I would just click on my screen saver face and ride it out. Taught me more about narcissism than I could have ever dreamed, but I’m kinda grateful now. Can spot it 5 miles away now. Good video 🙏🏻
I remember once after I was discarded, I went to a topless club. Some people tried to make me feel bad about it. The thing is, it had nothing to do with sex. Women touched me. It may be hard to understand for a person who had not been abandoned. But I needed somebody just to touch me. Just something to alleviate the emptiness for one day. All I know is I made it through another day.
There is no shame in that at all. Especially do not let females shame you for it as it is another form of gaslighting. Think this way,... Your just helping another woman earn her paycheck in a field that she chose, so she can be independent. I'm there right with you at this point in my life. Been there before years ago and back again. At least we are getting what we agreed to and paid for. Chin up & love you Brother!
I empathize and sympathize with you.. I know a young pretty woman, that I think is not really into me... But on occasion she let's me hold her hand and peck her on the cheek.. She sometimes hugs me and pecks me on mine... Without her and other pub acquaintances that have become good friends, I don't think I would be walking the Earth today....😪
Man.... this sounds almost exactly what I went through. Didn't go to a strip club but just even something as simple as going to the store or lunch once in a blue coming across a woman that was just nice enough to say "hello" would mean the world to me. It may sound desperate to guys not going through this but when your soul has been beaten down over time, just any acknowledgment, especially at that time with my child's mom, was food for the spirit.
@@diontrott4876 Brother, all if not most of us good men realize that not only are we starving for human acceptance and love, but that it is needed. COMPASSION! I guarantee that all of us that have been through this, & we feel this way. No longer do I squander the time & attention given too me, but I know we all will cherish and love this. But be diligent as we can not let this be our down fall. Simply put, guard your own while standing up for what we believe in. If they don't make the cut then it is for a reason. Love is the only answer. But yet our love must be strong and like a rock. But also understand that being that rock we may gather a lot of shipwrecks in our time. We just need to realize what is really gold among the barnacles.
I certainly did more than once since it took years before I could even attempt a normal relationship. A woman who stays happy and positive towards you for as many minutes as you pay? Lightyears more decent and honest than any abusive woman will ever be.
Happy Sunday Lady J ☺ Some more Abuse Tactics: Bringing up your past to make you feel bad in the present Smear campaigning you to others Trying to provoke you so you react negatively to them (which they might react to your reaction by escalating the situation) Saving anything you sent them in writing to use as ammunition Trying to get you arrested 😯
Saving anything you sent to them to use as weapons; try to cut you off from friends and family; if you share anything with them in confidence about a person in your circle they would find that person and tell them you said that about them; everyone is the perpetrator and they are innocent little victims; try to make it seems you are not functioning off a full deck like your head not screwed on properly when they are the ones who are twisted; LIARS; accuse you of things they are guilty of
You are the first person I've listened to that points out how it gets worse with age. It's exactly what I see in my soon to be ex. Her machinations are just getting crazier and crazier as time goes by. It's astounding to observe.
If your still married to her and your soon to be divorced your biggest nightmare is yet to come. Please get help when this happens and never be alone. Once your in jail for something you never did she will rob you blind while working on her next victim. It keeps getting worse. Take care!
I have a feeling that many people use silent treatment whether they are narcissists or not, if you have been wrong by someone you deprive them of your time and attention you aren’t just going to continue dysfunctional and abusive conversations. It depends a lot on a context, I hate silence but I learned sometimes it’s better not to say anything, if a person can’t figure out in it’s own what they did is wrong then I have nothing to tell them.
Another reason good reason to give them the silent treatment especially to a coworker is permanently ending their relationship for good. Your responsibilty afterwards is don't say anything to other coworkers about the issue/s. After all, it is none of their business.
As adults the silent treatment may mean that people don’t know how to approach the problem and that’s me but I can’t stuff things bothering me like that. That’s weird. I have to say something! Lol
Thank you so much for acknowledging how this is done to men! I think many women abusers hide behind that false misconception that only men can abuse and that women abusers are just "crazy bitches," "wear the pants in the family," "just their time of the month" etc. and the men are just weak in taking the abuse, they should just take the abuse from women. Be aware of the "you don't love me" or "you don't love me enough" guilt tripping manipulative tactics. This one got me to just try harder and cater to all their needs.
I've had a lot of experience fighting these people from a young age and I'm very observant of them. They're easy to defeat one on one. It's when they have their little sheeple with them that they cause real problems.
My mother is a classic case of a narcissist. She did this all to my dad. I endured her antics for many years! I’m happy I escaped the hell she created for all of us 20 years ago! Never looked back or talked to her since! I get a lot of flak for not celebrating Mother’s Day, but they don’t know the demon that she was!
I know EXACTLY how you feel. The same Ole bs. But that's your mother. You only get one mom. No! Some are sadistic Vulnerable Sociopathic tendencies. Toxic family members are a no go.
"They" Do Not Know The Demon She Was! Either "they" don't know OR don't WANT to know. Superficial sympathy is not compassion. And it doesn't help IMHO. I have grown more independent and self-reliant in my life as a result of experiencing the tendencies within human nature to tolerate and ignore the victimization of others. I appreciate the Pareto distribution or 80/20 rule. It helps me understand that roughly 4 in 5 people could care less to walk in someone else's shoes. Maybe one in five people have the self awareness and developed empathy necessary to appreciate that the world doesn't revolve around them. These rare jewels will take the time necessary to sit and listen 👂and understand. That simple act of just LISTENING by itself is cathartic. Therapeutic. There's a song I heard a while back about how the world needs a bigger front porch. We could mitigate so much trauma and abuse in this cold world by merely caring enough to listen and try to understand how another person feels. Try to understand what others have lived through.
I am currently reading 'mothers who don t love' i am to the part about writing 'what she did to me'. It is going to take forever as my counselor has given me a 15 min time limit so that i am not retraumatised by writing it out. I envision 20 legal pads (on front and back) before i am finished but i have great hope that this will help me heal. I am so grateful that having a n mother is known and that i am not alone.
I went through this for eight years. I always assumed it was me, I had to be doing something to evoke this behavior from her. I saw tons of red flags, but dismissed them. I think I stuck it out for so long was my misguided belief the real her was those early days of hand holding, pda and sweetness. I constantly gave in to her irrational demands. It always got worse. I literally thought i was going crazy. Things that never happened were presented to me as reality. I get we both have our side of the story, but I feel like I should at least remember being there. I was constantly feeling like I was being selfish. Top all of it off with her alcoholism and I am embarrassed I stayed so long. We separated for a few months and eventually got back together. I had glimpse of freedom, and didn't move on. I felt at the time, she was the best I could do. My self esteem was shot. She had successfully isolated me from friends and family. She was and is the Triangulation Champion. The only smart things I took from the mini breakup were to keep connected with friends and family, invest in myself and business. Eventually, I said screw it and started moving forward. I felt the distance growing between us as I started exercising more independence from her manipulative nature. The triangulation and projection was off the charts. The projection didn't hit home until after the relationship ended. What surprised me was how a couple of my friends had experienced the same thing in previous relationships. My pride and being a private person (not so much now as I comment), kept me from reaching out for help or an audience. Here is the kicker. I have never been happier since she left. I didn't realize how isolated and down I was until she was out of the house. For a minute, I wanted to go tell everyone about the BS I had endured over the years,. Eventually, realization kicked in. Now, I just want to live my life and love myself. Is it weird for me to struggle with the absence of the feeling of loss after eight years?
Hearing this makes me realize how numb I have become. I couldn't care less about the silent treatment , guilt trips , gaslighting or withholding affection .My wife took it to a higher level. Try dealing with false police reports, using my password to steal money and then threatening to turn me in. Calling my boss and trying to ruin my career. I'm so numb I doubt I will ever trust or love again.
I'm right there with you buddy. I will tell you that they're some good women out there. Ive been dating a new young lady for a little over 6 months. And she is the complete opposite of any of my exes. I chose her for the RIGHT reasons and not just lust.. The most important trait when choosing a partner is character/moral compass. A person with a strong character doesn't behave like this. Vet people better also. People are getting married in 6 months, that's insane...
My narc mom continued to be a narc even on her death bed. I told her she really missed out by refusing to come and see me in my new home. She just stared at me and gave me the silent treatment. I changed the subject to something I knew was 'safe', and she immediately engaged in the conversation again. I had given her one last opportunity to reflect on her behaviour and maybe apologize. Nope......
I’ve always said withholding love from a partner was a deal breaker. To me, this was always a sign that “love” was a tool for them, not a foundation in a healthy relationship. It’s one thing to go a period without it because they’re going through a phase of depression, lacking confidence, or something along those lines. It’s vastly different to say “you’re not getting any if you don’t do X,Y,Z.”
I recently told a woman I've liked for a couple of years about being abused financially, emotionally, and physically, which was quite a thing to do as a man. It's because it's comfortable being honest with her, so at least she knows why I was a bit wary of her at first, and a bit distant. hopefully she realises I always liked her, and just hesitated because of being confused, wanting to know what's on the inside before doing anything. After 12 months of healing, things are so much more calm and peaceful now, and in a position to move on. That's all I want, to move on. I'm 'letting go' of everything, and seeing what happens. Narcs ruin lives when you allow them. Any bond you have should be broken, I know it feels unnatural to do that with family for example, but loving yourself enough to not put up with it is definitely the most important thing. Look yourself in the eye, and be honest. You don't need that nonsense. Don't accept it.
You talk as if you're shameful for expressing your emotions, it's ok to say "Hey this is what happened in my past and I'm gun shy." She can accept your past and work with it, or take the easier route and dump you. Relationships take effort and work.
It's such a hard and confusing tightrope that "Us Men" have to walk in this society. Is anyone not realizing the long last and painful damage that they are causing "Us Men" in this day and age with theses mindsets? This is ruining one half of the population that is needed for everyone's survival and happiness.
The way they ‘make it hard to walk away’ is through a potent combination of manipulation… Guilt, pressure, pleasure, need, fear, threat, abusing your naïveté and honesty (on and on). If it was easy to walk away, more people would do it sooner, and female narcissists would be out of business.
My covert narcissist mother does this consistently. Before watching these kinds of enlightening videos about narcissism. I always the one reachng out to my mother but now I enjoyed the peace in solitude when she gives silent treatment to me. I no longer comply and give her that fuel. No more!
Mother/Daughter relationships should be the most caring of all relationships. I have the opposite. My grown daughter is a narcissist and also, a drug addict. I have grieved over the lost of this relationship with my daughter, as she is my only daughter but I have to let her find her own way in life. I pray someday, she will seek professional counselling and rehab, but I can't let her chaotic behavior disturb my inner peace and my home.
@Eliz White, I would like to commend you for being a kind, caring and understanding mother which I never had. As a mother to a young daughter, I can feel your pain. Continue to love her even from afar. Letting go of someone for them to grow in life is the best gift for both parties involved. We cannot change the person and always save them when they themselves don't want to change for the better. It has to come from within oneself.
It's all about control and power for a narcissist mother. Every interaction is transactional "love" is performance based and you need to watch out! She's just out for her self serving needs. Does anyone else notice how narcissist mothers live in the moment? Like zero forethought for what the future holds for them? Does anyone else notice how a narcissist mother demands the accountability of a child?
Honestly people like you and me could never choose our mom. Sometimes life gives us lemoms. I am sorry for what you had to go through. But she made you far stronger than most normal people.
I was married to a narcissist for 10 years. In the beginning: 1) love bombing. Portrays herself as the perfect woman. 2) begins sleeping elsewhere, not with you. 3) not wanting to do things with you. 4) begins going after other men, claiming "friends". Starts posting selfies on social media all-the-time. Even telling the world she never "gets her panties in a bunch because I don't wear them". 5) accused me all the time of cheating. 5) will do things, say things and then vehemently deny it - even discrediting witnesses. 6) secretly taking nudes of herself - thousands of them. When I accidentally discovered them, she swore they were for me. 7) all affection died. All terms of endearment vanished. 8) sabotaged me in very damaging ways. Used my login and passwords for emails and social media to make it look like I was doing and saying things. All while I was at work. 9) would start arguments for no reason. 10) always accusing me of things. 11) later learned she had been having sex with all kinds of men. 12) she couldn't hold a job. Always getting fired. 13) out of the blue, told me she's leaving, moving out. Something she had been planning for a very long time. One month later, we're divorced and she's married to another man. 14) she moves from one marriage to another - no gaps. She's never ever without a man. 15) too much more I could list, but these are the big ones.
My narc sister was giving me a hateful glare from across a room. She moved in a way to hide behind her hair when she saw I was looking. I've gone no contact for a few years. Would have done it sooner if I knew what I was dealing with.
Finally got out of an 8 year marriage with a Narc female. Being an empath she ABUSED me mentally/physically, and all around broke me down to my core. After we had our son she held him over my head NONSTOP if I even mentioned leaving.
She nailed all the boxes. My daughter and her mother appear to have this. The mother hasn't been in her life for around 7 years, but my daughter seems to have become a narcissist. She is absolutely right about recognizing that this happens to both genders.
I divorced my wife this year but I still see her mom at my workplace. She still gives me the angriest glare I’ve ever gotten every time we meet. I’m not sure what she wants: I quietly divorced her daughter and haven’t contacted her in over three months. For someone that claims to be so Christian, she’s not very forgiving.
@Cartwright Worm. When she glares, smile at her. Lol I know, it's poking the bear, but it's very satisfying. I had a horrible narc husband. When his family saw me after our divorce, they'd glare daggers. I used to get upset and scared by it. Then when I realized I no longer cared, I'd just give them a big smile and move on. No talk, no contact, just a Cheshire cat grin. It pissed them off big time.
This just in: Spirituality and "being a Christian" are great facades for many abusers. " How DARE you accuse me (of what I have done, and what I am doing) intentionally to harm you, your reputation, your finances and your mental and emotional balance,) when I love the Lord??" OMG. They may love someone all right...but it's not the Lord. (They "love" themselves-- and they serve the guy with the hooves.)
They are half of them for sure. They just get by with it under the radar. Been under the radar since the beginning of time. Does Eve remind you of something.
Thank you for shining a light on this. What stands out for me is that at the same time as exposing this issue, this lady stands as an extremely important reminder to us men, there are good women out there, and their support is needed. I deeply respect this lady’s integrity.
My grandmother did all these things. The stupid part was that she tried to do this with her grandkids who had no attachment or affection to her, so despite being extreamly angering, we didn't actually care about her or feel any debt or connection to her. I guess she just assumed we cared because we were biologically her grandkids... man did she miscalculate
Many women because the immediate Sons and Daughters respond to it. they do it to the grandkids who know enough to walk away sometimes and do not fall prey to such techniques. Nothing works all the time the people try these things over and over
My dad was verbally abused by my mom. I always tried to protect him, or stand up for him. The result was that they both turned on me. He stayed in the marraiges. Very sad
I’m just happy that society is starting to recognize that men get abused too. But more importantly, I’m proud that more men are opening up about their pain
All good. However, what we REALLY HAVE TO TALK ABOUT is narcissists at large! In the work place, your roommate, your neighbor, on the subway. NARCISSISTS APPEAR IN MORE ROLES THAN DOMESTIC PARTNERS AND LOVE INTERESTS.
Yes even my neighbour six doors further, one above me who is already moved out and one I dont know found eachother on fb talking evil about me, reported me to the police with lies and police allowed themselves to be used by violently kicking in my door, assaulting, imprisoning me, kidnapping, torture, detaining, interrogating, insulting and humiliating me. Four men!! none had cognition, all had sadistic features just like my ex. Prosecutor gave the order and did not want to investigate or dismiss anything so now it goes to the magistrate. But the whole judicial top here in NL is corrupt and pedophile or have stockholm syndrome.
YES THESE JEALOUS EVIL DEMONS ARE EVERYWHERE! Ive had narc love interest, fake jealous friends, bosses, co workers. randoms, doctors my doctor right now is a covert narc and a racist, whole family full of em etc. u gotta educate yourself and always be on guard. Not all people who are jealous are narcissist but all narcissist are jealous!
They don't ever gain remotely the level of control in those roles and in addition it is talked about. This wasn't about any narcissist for a reason. How about respecting that please?
Once you get involved with a female covert narcissist it's definitely a lose lose and downhill experience the only thing to do is run 🏃♂️ as far as you can because they will destroy you
Mine keeps on trying to destroy me, and we have been divorced for years!!! She's unable to find someone for an LTR, so she continually directs this hate towards me. Constantly posts on social media that I did all of these things to her that never happened!!!! UGH
Yup I remember vividly being accused of cheating regularly for almost 3 years until she was literally caught red handed. It's kind of hard to keep lying about a child that isn't yours. Yeah that one hurt.
They all do this game. Hope you healed. The only punishment they understand is when you become successful. Get real solid and when she comes around with a hoover then inflicting Narcissistic injury is a must. Leave them at the crossroads of Mortification. Have your excapes well placed. Cameras, recording and back doors. Social media platforms disabled a year or more. Sit back and karma does its thing.
@@kevinowens6010 yeah but when you get rich like i did, they immediately turn it around and threaten with suicide and shit while having your kids. all because of a tantrum that they lost the game of life
@@timohaikarainen3957 I got Rich in the last Two years. Old Narcs come a running like piggies. I have personally handed four asses right back to four Bottomfeeders. Gray rock for the kids only. I know that one is hard. Had two Dumbasses threaten the suicide game on me. I told them "hurry up I have places to go and things to do." They are to selfcentered to kill themselves. They will put on a drama show for shits and giggles! That buys time for Narcs don't learn and will Hoover again and again. Any weakness in your armor and your fucked! No cracks. Whatever a narc does even if you get lucky and they knock themselves out of everyone's play pen you have no accountability to that. That is how they Trauma bond you. They are Adults that are four years old. They may make fourteen on a good day, but the next day they are four years old.
@@timohaikarainen3957 look seriously you got it made. Let the Narc keep threatening suicide. Record it. Then go to the authorities. A danger to self and others gets her 30 days in happy camp. As you gray rock your way through shit you now have the upperhand in any custody case. I suggest a good lawer as well. You get out of this Relationshit and have the kids if you play your cards right. These Narcs are Dumbasses in reality.
Thank you for shining a light on women that are narssasist against men. I’ve been down that road with females in my family as well as my wife. I no longer want to walk around on eggshells any damn more and every thing you spoke about is exactly how she’s been with me for the past 30+ years of marriage and can’t put up with it anymore and I won’t as of today. I don’t drink or smoke in or out of the house. I go to church regularly and she’s also is very involved with the church. I work and go home to her every night, keep bills paid and try to be very loving and affectionate to her and it’s still not enough. I even paid a day spa once for her that cost me over 400 bucks at a high end shopping district and she told me I should have just gave her the money instead. I have so many stories like this with her over the years but I’m just done!
@@Imnotyourdoormat 'Cluster B Personality Disorders' are most certainly a tragic multigenerational affliction but they are not genetic in origin. This group of mental disorders is caused by abuse, exploitation and neglect. The wounded spirit and broken minds of children raised under these horrible conditions turn them into heartless people. These disorders are a means of adapting and coping with the horror and terror they live with. The primitive strategies they use become ossified and permanent features of their distorted personalities. It is not a genetically inherited disorder but the environment in which they develop and grow that leads to their particular form of madness.
Thanks Jill, great video! Aging narcissists take on a human form, but are absolute evil incarnate. A narcissistic boss I had recently loved to use gaslighting, lying, ridicule, humiliation, projection and triangulation. She had many flying monkey/ kiss ups who cheered her on, helped her pick out and victimize new targets, and continue to punish old adversaries.
2 1/2 months and counting right now experiencing the silent treatment from my wife of 26 years. This is the first time I ever learned about what she really is- a narcissist. Watching this video was like turning on the light and all the sudden I experienced clarity. She does all of these things to me. Time to make some changes. Feel like a weight was just lifted from my shoulders. Thank you Jill!
2 1/2 months? I'm on 3 years 3 months and counting, but at least it means that much of the criticism has stopped. Not even she can criticise without speaking. Hope things have improved for you!
Hello Jill and thank you for your insight. My mother-in-law gave me the silent treatment for 9 months because I finally stood up for myself after 17 years of abuse. The cruelest and most vicious behavior I had ever experienced.
Number 6: The female narcisssist loves to sabotage. My narc mother would call my employer (just out of concern of course) to ask how I was doing at work then launch into a disparaging rant about how I was so untrustworthy and useless at home. Ultimately, my mother's goal was to get me fired, with no demands on my time from work I now had no reason to not be able to be a free babysitter every day. My mother was EXTREMELY coercive controlling!
My father's third wife got me fired from a job so I joined the army where she (they) couldn't control a damn thing. They're still mad at me 30 years later for leaving. I don't visit.
# 4 - Hides behind her sarcasm and plays it off as a joke. She doesn't get her way and gets pissed. This is a friend I was trying to date and figured her out, she couldn't deal with me in that manner. Thank you for putting these tubes out!
Today marks the 90 days since I left one of those. She nearly destroyed me but common sense and self preservation instinct prevailed. I even surprised myself that I have managed to recover so quickly. Family and friends played a massive role in the process. To all those suffering out there it's possible to leave these deviants and start living a new life so do not give up and never surrender. I personally recommend physical exercise which in turn will boost your mental health.
Man I feel like I might be in one of these relationships. I’ve been with her for 14 years and we have a 4 year old. It’s reached a point where I’m not allowed to disagree with her, if I do, I get steamrolled. I desperately try to be as soft and calm as possible, focus on my breathing and try my best not to deviate from the original point. She will always employ the same tactics. She will deflect from the original point, raise alternate points, lie and make up insults that I’ve never said to her, if I defend myself saying I never said such things, she will simply claim I’m gaslighting her. She’ll insult me and storm off claiming I’m growing aggressive and she’s scared of me. I’m always left confused. Over the last 4 years I’ve grown far more silent and scarred to disagree. She has grown more and more ruthless. I’m not sure what my next move is. I just tried to express my pain to her in hope that we can move forward with better communication. It lasted two minutes before she walked out.
@@jasonherzig9406 just go, get out, no good will come of you staying, they do not change, I waited 22 years for change that never came. The best part of my life is now gone, I'm old and crippled with arthritis, but at least I am now free.
@@nexttime9272 by your message, you are. You need to walk away, she will never change, you are starting to lose yourself, your identity, you need to get out before you lose yourself completely, as I did. I don't know who I am meant to be anymore, I am not the person I was becoming when I was happy and free of the knowledge that narcissists exist only to destroy us.
Great addition to the topic narcissism !!! Can only confirm, female narcissist becomes worse with age. Just went no-contact with my mother because the abuse became to much to endure. Playing grey rock now or "silence treatment" backwards. And my life improved so much.
Thank you for making a video on the female narcissist....NAILED IT I've experienced all 5 of these tactics. The "silent treatment" is the cruelest. The withhold is devastating. and the shame & humiliation was overwhelming, unbelievable, and extremely embarrassing.
I too have experienced all 5 but I actually felt that the "silent treatment" was the best of them as I just go about my life normally and she eventually folds when she needs something from me. We have a young son or I would be done with the relationship. I don't know what to do really to be able to protect him from her except to be there for him as much as possible...
@@billtay1963 That’s a tough one having a child together. I understand staying in in it for the kid. I’ve read that staying in a toxic relationship with children is modeling for them their future relationships. Maybe contact Jill and get some professional help with your situation. Best regards Strength and wisdom to you brother.
@@billtay1963 "...be there for him as much as possible..." Best thing you can do. Be a good supportive father. Talk to him. Educate him about how and why you act as you do. The more he knows the better decision he'll make about what kind of person he wants to be when that time comes.
Yep, She always nails it...What i find 'really' amazing though, is we KNOW who these people REALLY 'are'. Yet, We still seek them. lol We're talking about people that have ZERO chance of being kind, considerate, caring, joyful, loving etc. Being around them or in their mere presence is outright D I S T U R B I N G. Embarrassing...Pathetic
@@billtay1963 Prepare for the inevitable divorce. Get revenge by being successful financially. A narcissistic woman takes too much time, money, and energy that could be devoted to your financial success. I am vastly better off now than when I was married and she is mad as hell about it. My now grown children see right through her and tell her how wrong she is when she verbally trashes me. Your becoming a financial success or even a good steward of the money you earn will earn the respect of your children and negate her lies.
Abuse…It’s Not Just for Women! There were so many warning signs I ignored - from friends, family, myself! I took the marriage plunge anyway. I thought pouring myself into the relationship, and losing myself in the process, would remedy everything. “We’ll get through this. One day we’ll look back and laugh at these struggles and challenges. After all, we had God on our side. And love covers a multitude of sins - right?!” I couldn’t have been more wrong. For three years (thank God it wasn’t longer) I held on and tried to do all the right stuff to make it all work. I hunkered down in a room with a tornado. I could see the door, but refused to go through it. What I was doing was supposed to work! “I’m Phil Disney…I can get along with anyone. I can fix this, make it better. Just give it more time…more love…more understanding…more patience,” I said. For a man (at least for me) the worst part about being abused is not the actual verbal or physical attacks. It was my own emotions - “I’m not good enough to make this relationship better. I can’t fix it. I’m failing!” As a result, my confidence spiraled. This relatively positive man, who believed he could, with God’s help, accomplish anything -difficult tasks; overwhelming challenges - was reduced to almost nothing. And it was only getting worse. The abuse - both verbal and physical - came more often and more intense. And, for a minute, I refused to acknowledge it - until the day that I did. “That’s enough.” I said. “This game of ‘taking it for the team’ is over.” And if you know me, you know how difficult that decision was. It’s been over a year now, and I still have those thoughts and feelings of, “What could I have done differently that would have made my marriage work.” Guilt and shame cover me. I failed. I couldn’t make it better. I wasn’t good enough to fix it. But then I realize that it never was about me. It was never about my love, my ability to connect, my commitment, my faith. It was simply a matter of another person refusing to do their part, live above their past, and invest in the present. Did I do everything right? Not in the least. I made plenty of mistakes. I often failed to react and respond appropriately - contributing to an ever increasing pile of unresolved and deeply rooted pains. After all, fighting fire with fire is never the solution in a relationship - especially for a man. And so I learned. I learned to respond calmly, drop my defenses, and back away. But, unfortunately, that only made things worse. My calm demeanor was interpreted as a failure to emotionally engage and connect. This only increased her verbal and physical attacks. It’s as if she needed the intense emotional response. Good relationships make you a better person. They work through the challenges and help sand off the rough edges. More importantly, they emphasize our qualities and virtues. They help make us into the person God intends for us to be. None of that was happening - on either side of the relationship. The bottom line - I was losing myself and the person I was supposed to be. And there was only one solution… Walk away. Take that doorway out. And when I did, surprisingly, the abuse stopped. When I did, that storm - that room with the tornado - suddenly ended. Peace came back. Rest came back. Healing began. And I have resumed the journey to become the man God created me to be.
My experience was similar although it took me 11 years to be brave and so I had to leave my 2 beautiful young daughters. If I didn’t get out they were not going to have a father at all. You have done the right thing and I’m sure your God is pleased. Marriage is only for when two people are in love and burning with desire for each other. Marriage is not for doing what you were lead to believe others expected you to do. I wish I had felt that same pressure from others towards divorce lol
Thank you for sharing your story. I am fascinated by how well you write. Are you a author if not you should be. I don't usually go for the male perspective in situations like this but when you said you were a Godly man, I believed you. I am truly sorry you went through such trauma. I relate so well because I was with a sociopath for seven years and survived to tell me story. Like you, I had no idea that some people aren't born with hearts. He ruined my relationship with my cousin and my sister. I found out he and my sister were communicating behind my back. (My cousin as well) He tried to make me believe no one loved me and we should kill ourselves. I saw evil in his eyes for the last time and it's been two weeks since I've responded to his email. I believe our father shielded you by blinding her from seeing your worth because he's sending your true soulmate. May God bless you with overflowing love and ecstacy. You deserve it, especially after all you endured. It's time to be happy.
@@SA-iu7xj fortunately, we had no children together. When children are involved, it’s difficult. The narcissist will use them as leverage to keep you under his/her control. I suggest as little contact and communication as possible - even if he/she reaches out to you. Be very matter of fact with any and all contact. And above all, don’t get emotional! Don’t allow the narcissist to bait you into any kind of conversation (text, email, face-to-face, etc.) - especially an argument. That’s exactly what they want. And they will try. So don’t be surprised when they do. If it’s about the children - again, be matter of fact. A narcissist is so insecure. They respond to everything out of their insecurity with the goal of making them feel better by bringing you down to their level or below. Walk away from those encounters - fast! Absolutely no contact (ever) if at all possible remains the best solution.
How right you are. I was married to the ultimate female narcissist for 10 years and she used every single trick you just spoke of on me. I was always a strong, dominant male (not in a bad way) who never thought this would happen to me. But I was head over heels in love with her, or so I thought. You didn't mention how some beautiful women, and she was know how to play someone because they've been practicing their whole life. And boy was she good at it! Now I'm living on disability because she took everything we had...(yes I was dumb enough to trust her and her family who were real estate agents) and I was working very hard to try and please her and take care of my elderly Grandma and wasn't keeping a good enough eye on our finances because I trusted her. I knew she had been seeing someone else but I wanted our marriage to work. But I got up to go to work one day and I kissed her goodbye and told her I loved her as always. When I came home that night she was gone and so was the land I was building a house on and my bank account (all $6 she left). I had a nervous breakdown and I drank heavily for a year and blamed myself. Then because I wasn't talking care of myself I had a bunch of other health problems. I just recently was diagnosed with complex PTSD. Any of you guys out there that might read this please listen...I don't care how good looking you are (all the women said I was) or how talented you are (I'm a songwriter/musician) or how good you treat them doesn't matter. You might hang on to them a little longer if you're rich but eventually they will do what comes naturally to them. Now Doctor, is there any cure for a narcissist women? Or man?
Iam getting verbally abused as I am watching this, no good morning, just what a P.O.S iam and i better have made some f**kn coffee! Thanks for sharing this to the world , most people dont understand !
Daniel, save every Penny you can and get out of this trap as soon as possible. It took me 10 years ( more difficult when you have children and don't want them to be deprived from comfort). But peace is at the end of the tunnel. It's worth it. Take care, and most of all, stop any kind of sincerity with the narcisist : just play a role, like your narc.
Iam saving up to leave iam disabled and don't get much money! Most of it go's to pay my house payment and dosnt leave much,but every penny gets me closer to freedom,thanks for the encouragement, not much of that found in my home😀
This was my mother growing up. She had zero issues with physical abuse as well though, especially when I started getting a lot bigger than her as a teenager. She said no one would believe that she could hurt me, so hitting/slapping became normal. I haven’t seen her in 7 years. It’s the only way to stay sane.
My partner of 17 years is one of these things. Just found this out. Been played for 17 years, sick puppies these things. Great information thanks. Am currently packing. Love and respect to all.
This is so my wife, took me a few years to realise but after numerous therapy I realised the change is short lived & the narcissism creeps back, over a period of years I adapted myself to avoid the abuse as much as possible & eventually became emotionally detached, left her 9 months ago & didn't look back.
Still struggling after more than a year. 4 years abuse, also physical. Encountered her at a concert last week with her oldest daughter and son in law, her flying monkeys. A middle finger in public, trying to trigger me, agression and a threat. I'm just so tired
"a healthy person wouldn't stay in a relationship out of guilt and obligation". If I follow through on that then there will be noone left in my life. To me relationships are only guilt and obligation. My therapist asked, "would you be sad if your wife left you?", I laughed and "sad!! I would be so happy and free". I think I have some stuff to work through
"You know what you did" "You know all the reasons why we broke up" "You are hurting me" Trying to eliminate persons they perceive as "threats", for example your female friends if your narc is a female Moving too fast at the start of the relationship (they talk about marriage and kids at the very start), want's you to move in with them within a month Starting arguments out of nowhere Extreme jealousy ( My ex gf started yelling at me at 1am over phone because she saw a girl sitting behind me on a beach and reading a book while we were on a video call earlier that day) They are ALWAYS right, NEVER wrong etc..
My Mother used to give my Father the silent treatment all the time, except when she was shouting and screaming at him !!!! My Mother gave me no love and affection. She was always telling me that everyone elses children were better than me !!!! She never had a Good word to say about me, even when I was seven years old and I was looking after her when she had Cancer !!!! All she did was complain that the meal wasn't quite right, or the butter wasn't defrosted enough !!!! When my Father died she started on me with her Evil Ways !!!! I told her I was not going to put up with her constant Nagging and I would kill her if she didn't shut up !!! Then she did something good for me !!!! She died and left me the House !!!! But I have no happy memories of childhood. Just never ending arguments and a life of Hell !!!! But now I'm 68 years old and have lived a Happy Life !!! I never got married, never had children, but I had loads of friends, I had Dogs as Companions !!! And I was able to live a comfortable life and I did not have to work hard !!! I took jobs like Security work at night which nobody wanted to do !!!! I was not interested in finding a partner !!! I had lots of girlfriends but after a while, when they realized that I was never going to marry any of them, they left me !!!!! But I didn't care !!!! I love my dogs but people always let me down !!! The people I know are always fighting amongst themselves, and my few Relatives hate me because they are jealous of me !!! In fact everyone becomes jealous of me, because I'm still single, I have 3 Motorbikes, X Box, Gaming Pc Flight Simulators, loads of tools etc. I can cook anything, Chinese, Indian, Italian, Southern Fried Chicken, Mexican etc. And I love being on my own, with loads of non fiction books on Kindle and classic fiction as well !!! I love keeping my mind active !!!! But all my married male friends are brain dead and can't even go to the toilet unless their wives tell them how to do it !!!! And they spend all their lives decorating their houses which they hate doing, whereas I can do anything I want to stay Happy !!!!
Yeah, the average American woman seeks to (figuratively?) castrate her man without even knowing why she seeks it, because she's been programmed to seek power and dominance by the 'programming' on the 'tell a vision.' The irony of the situation is that you are now a massive catch of a man for any somewhat younger woman. Give up carbohydrates, eat fatty meats (high-fat low-carb diet) and supplement magnesium & maybe vitamin D3, start working out & taking zinc also, drink bone broth eat liver ... Long story short, there are ways to get younger & you could reap the benefits of being your badass self...
@@thelastgreatdevolutionary1044 Thanks !!!! Somebody else said what a long boring story !!! Some people are incapable of learning anything at all !!!! So they will have to learn the Hard Way !!!!
@@spaceted3977 Thus speaks a voice of experience. Great stuff Ted. However as unreliable and untrustworthy as the opposite sex might be, I find I still can't help loving them but that's my problem.
Spent 25 years with a narcissistic woman and I going to test that a lot of these tactics are textbook. As someone who was married to a narcissist for 25 years I have first hand accounts of the gas lighting, silent treatment and accusations of forgetfulness. She even tried to convince me that I had an undiagnosed disorder for it. For those caught in a narcissist web, the only way to recover is to get away from it. These people are sick and don't know it. Even if they did, they accept or justify it. When you break the cycle they are at their worst because their supply of emotion and attention is threatened. It's like taking away their oxygen.
Four years ago we had an extremely toxic female colleague in our school. Even to this day, she’s still a common topic in our office just because of how abusive and two-faced she was to everyone.
This lady is spot on ive endured this for years all 5 broke me down and discarded me but im learning self love and understanding that's is not what i want for my life i created a person that never existed.
Thank you for this. I'm a man currently going through a divorce with my wife and I already went into the relationship with little self-confidence. I'm leaving with less. This video hit home. She always wanted me to "Be honest and be open" but every time I was... She made me out to me be "mean" or me just being an "a-hole". I just recently reconnected with a friend of almost 17 years and he told me that SHE was the reason he ghosted us. Towards the end of our marriage I went into a big depression... But now that the divorce is going through... I have friends again.... Videos like this prove that men can be abused too. I'm one of them. If anyone needs to talk... Reach out to me!
I’m not ashamed. I was moved to another state with a narcissistic woman who hide it from me until we were there. She became verbally abusive. Two years of that crap and I made ambush style escape. It was a beautiful escape. Left her before she knew what was happening.
It's so amazing how I can look back at past relationships and see all those Narcassit traits I completely overlooked during my relationships that you are clearly pointing out in this video! Other then getting away from a Narcassit the next best thing is knowing how predictable they are!
Great video Jill. I appreciate how you call things right down the middle. You are not partisan, not it at all, about which gender is worst. Thank you. For being so real, and honest. That's why we love you.🙏✝️💙 God bless
All abuse is psychological. Physical abuse generally occurs to reinforce the psychological abuse. Don't think it has to be physical, or it's not abuse.
Thank God someone FINALLY realizes that men do get abused and that we exist. God bless you ma'am. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
❤ well said
Well said but... no one cares. Women could not care less that men are abused and for the most part neither does society. They dont and I think it would help men a great deal to understand this.
As a guy, I can confirm this and the greater reluctance of society to recognize it. I feel I was trained most of my early life to hold things in, never share vulnerabilities, etc - hogwash, that only wrecks mental health - seek the proper support, join a men's health group, join a family oriented group of healthy families that had to learn social support for everyone.
They abuse just about everyone. This man I know has been married for 10 years. His wife is a narcissist. He has changed so much. He use to be a fun loving person. He is not the same.
It’s hard to reconcile with the fact you were manipulated cause you always leave the abuse feeling like you are the bad guy. It’s hard to maintain emotional control
1.) Loves to utilize the silent treatment ✔
2.) Withholds love and affection ✔
3.) Utilizes the guilt trip✔
4.) Shaming,humiliation ✔
5.) Gaslighting and projection✔
The female narcissist tend to get worse with age
ALL narcissists get worse with age
@@nm7336 I have seen it several times. And you can't tell them they are wrong.
I've seen 4 family members take their bad attitudes to their graves.
Truth
And of course smearing you to anyone who will listen. Icky.
Passive aggressive jabs (for cumulative effect).
I’ve been SURROUNDED by people like this my entire life. Divorced 20 years. Being alone is 1000X easier.
And that Wicked person probably derives great pleasure knowing you are alone so even with not being with them they are still abusing you
Working on 32 years here bro!
Love starved during my 20+ yrs of marriage only to get divorced and start seeing the mother of all domestic violence, abuse, manipulation and narcissism. I'd love to think she's in jail but I know better. Anyway, 3 yrs now with my little sex kitten and she knows how to treat her man. Don't give up bro.
I agree. I have CPTSD from my mom. When I got out, I realized I have no more tolerance for that bullshit. Want to piss them off? Act like you’re unaffected by what they say or do. Now, I have a narc professor, reminds me so much of her.
@@jimjones395 alone and lonely are different.
Wow, it’s nice to see someone admit there are “toxic” woman too.
They are the worst because they get away with it
Sometimes being alone gives you 100x more motivation than with ludicrous women. They just want you to stay on your lap, rather than working together as one. They want to drag you, just cause theyre insecure they cant do anything themselves. Humanity i lost faith@NFTeve
I am immune to all 5 of these tactics, and the way I became immune to them was by living with a narcissistic woman who tried all of them on me. I came to the conclusion that I needed to just ignore her tactics and just go on living my own life my way, and when she realised that none of it worked, she stopped. I still left, knowing that it wouldn't end, and now am much happier, and wiser.
I did the same after 19 years of it, only the last four years I discovered I could just ignore it, and live my own life.
how did you leave, I have a hard time leaving did you have to pay your spouse
@@bnzstheboy6520 I wanna know too
@@InsideOutsideSoul do you have kids.
yeah i smell them quick too and if you ever want to test your gut instinct just use give them a small dose of their own remedy . best one the silent treatment and you'll find it quick!
Once you figure you're dealing with a narcissist. Try to stay away from them for your own good.
People like her should really speak out against Anime and Manga, especially those which promote Narcissists like Asuka Langley Soryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Seriously entire generations of youth, teens and other people are being brainwashed into either becoming Narcissists, condoning Narcissists and falling victim to Narcissists.
#6: "I sincerely apologize". Said no narcissist ever.
She or he can "apologize" by pure strategy in order to manipulate the victim
@@redamohamed1293 yep and they WANT 2 meet U for lunch to TELL U that they R SOOO so sorry. Lol
Yeah. The apology sounds so fake and empty. My mother "apologize" by mocking it
They might. But theyre hiding their evil laugh because theyre lying and its hard telling all the spiteful shit theyve already employed against you....
@@christymckee8133 yeah you really need an expert to back you up on that one.
My ex wife would keep everything secret, then at the 11th hour when things werent the way they were supposed to be she would come to me and get me to right the issues. Women that had a high body count of sexual partners are experts at keeping things secret. Court her through 4 seasons before you commit. I fell in love too quick, found out all the past, and made the worst decision of my life to think that i could manage it.
Going through this now
Same
It was just your turn.
Exactly.
I’ll never date a woman who has a high body count again.
Lesson learned.
did not find out my ex wifes father was a pc of sh it alcoholic until several yrs after we were married. she conveniently forgot that lil detail along the way. sure did explain a lot of her actions tho. she conducted herself just like a alkie without the drink.
Slowly but surely she destroyed me. I never recognised her behaviours as abuse and I had no idea of the damage that was being done to me.
I know exactly what your taking about
& that,s one red flag that has popped from her by crossing the line
Been with more than one! Have kids with both! Both kids used against me! Didn't think I would be destroyed twice this way. Didn't even think I had feelings capable of being hurt until the second!
@@jonathanthomas320 I feel you man. If you can't get visitations or have visitation and she still puts you through hell you will have to emotionally detach yourself from them. It will hurt but she knows giving you hell damages you emotionally. That shit will take years off your life span. You can be a 100% father when they turn 18 Then you will get the unconditional love and bond your looking for without the stress holding children hostage.
@@brandongooch4243 it's hard. I have already detached myself from her! And I am not sure if it's ever going to be 💯
I've known her since 12 am 44. But detaching myself from the kids is even harder! I'm a human after all. And when my daughter who's 22 now turned 18 had already had enough of the mother that I have been trying to get in touch with her. My kids are to much like me. Very stubborn! Just can't believe that I was dumb enough to start the whole process over again. The son is 2.5 years old. Been working on the emotional detachment,but then again I didn't think anyone could get past the walls of the first one! The worst thing is I was Best friend with her since 12. Lost touch for years and Bam.
My ex-wife would dress up just to take a picture on social media and see see how many likes she gets because her image means alot to her .she tries hard to portray an image to the outside but at home she is very domineering, spiteful, manipulative and evil like a Dr.jekyl and Mr Hyde comparison living with her was like walking on eggshells I just could not believed I marry her of all the choices I had she surely did a heck of a job to fool me. This is a great video your analysis is spot on
So you’d advise me to leave my girlfriend no matter the situation I’d have to deal with?
Lived with one for 12 years! Walking on eggshells was exactly what it was like. And her perceived image was everything to her! Crazy....
@@FuneralFather don’t live in fear. Trust and love your girl but don’t be naive. Don’t let the experiences of other ruin your image rather, learn from their mistakes and mold them into strengths of your own
🍃✨🥀Sorry, that u went through that. 🍃I Hope Yr a Stronger Person now & Hopefully u can Spot the Signs now.🍃🥀
🩸🥀Be Happy & Believe u Deserve it... Bc we all do.🐞✨... I've been there & I will Never Allow it again.✨🥀.
✨☘️✨Stay Strong❗Love YRSELF ❗1st✨... & Stay True 2 who u know u r...🥀Always🥀..
Go to Mgtow sites Immediately for Knowledge about How Feminism Weaponized Womens Pre-existing Female Nature, Which IS Hypergamous And Follows Briffaults Law.
My X once called me a narcissist, I didn't know what that was. I looked up and researched it's meaning. What I learned was enlightening, and soon came to the realization that I wasn't the one who was a narcissist. What I was in however, was a narcissistic relationship. I can't even describe the manipulation, the abuse and the loneliness I felt being with her. It's ruined my mental state and life as I knew it. I'd like to think I'm in recovery, but I'm not sure.
This is exactly what mine did to me. They are the same in a female/female relationship. 3 years but I won. I was called a narcissist, manipulative, passive, aggressive, selfish and I only did things if they benefited me. Every one of these things is what she was doing. Luckily, I was married to my ex-wife for 20 years and she was not at all like that. I believe she realized she wasn’t gonna bring me down. My self-worth was too high. I blocked every form of communication and haven’t looked back. She was one of my childhood friends so that hurt the most. She is and always will be a horrible person. I’m better today than I EVER have been.
I learnt exactly the same way. I didn't know what one was either. But before I had even finished reading about it everything clicked into place and I finally understood what had happened to me and I ended my marriage of 22 years. 2 years have passed now and I hope I am finally starting to find myself again.
Dude… that’s the exact same way I found out that narcissists existed. I so hate you know what that’s like man…
Sir TY for the explanation. I am in a relationship with a black man that was gang related with a criminal past. We are older now. But now I know
that he's mixing up these tactics with the gang related tough act stuff. 😧Time for therapy and 😠👊 because I use the man related behaviors mixed with women ways. WTF 😲 I don't know how that happened because we still really love each other dearly after all the shit we've been through.
I guess we mixed the good and the bad and made it work
This is scary because it is 1000% my experience. I was with an awful, awful person and once during a heated fight (that surprise surprise she started) she called me a narcissist. At the time I thought that word was used to describe someone who thought too much of themselves, after this accusation I looked it up and was blown away by (ironically) how perfectly it described my ex. Hence "projection" as one of the primary traits of a narcissist.
She inadvertently educated me that day, I realized I was actually the victim of narcissistic abuse and now am easily able to detect people with this horrible character trait.
I have found through the years this; if the narcissist doesn’t change their ways, life ends up horrible for them. The end game is never good for the unrepentant narcissist.
It seems to me the entire game in no good for them, aside from the few moments where they genuinely get to demolish someone, and get praise for it from everyone. But that's all they care about.
They are really just bullies
6: Threaten to have an affair 7: Financial abuse 8:False accusations
Amen!!!
Damn I'm target of these 3 too 💩
Those 3 are the ones that got me....
U aint going to tell me u going to have an affair
Oh yes
The worst thing about being in a relationship with an abusive woman is that she'll usually tell everyone YOU where the abusive one before anyone can find out what she was doing, and because she's the woman and you're the man she WILL be believed. My ex wife beat the crap out of me and controlled me for 8 long years, then when we broke up she ruined my life (homelessness, prison, constant harassment to this day, I can't have social media or friends, can't get a girlfriend because my ex wife reappears when she finds out and does what it takes to ruin the relationship, havent seen my sons for nearly 7 years)by convincing everyone I was the one hitting her during the relationship and harassing her after, which I never did and its completely the other way around. I didn't even notice anything was wrong until after the relationship when it was far too late.
My wife did the same thing,I didn't know what it even was,looked it up and every example I read was her. Even told her little klick of friends that I was a narcissist and abusing her. But several years later I'm still here and that same group of friends still think I am a piece of 💩.
Hang in there. One day at a time.
The Science You have learnt a very important lesson !!!! Women are Poison !!! So you need to live life to please yourself !!!! If you go into another Relationship the same thing will happen !!!! The only difference between Women is that some look nice to You !!!! It`s all inside your own head !!!! If you are single you can have loads of Women !!! Just don`t get married or Live with them, and don`t spend any money on them, Chad and Tyrone don`t !!!!!
Women are evil, there are very few women who have any soul. Always watch out for women who love animals more than humans.males are weak as ever that is why women do what they do, because males give them too much attention. I broke up with a Chinese few years ago and a Mexican recently.
Both of these women were the ones who approached me on a study app. When I told them I am not interested they use their dirty sad tactics, to tug at heart strings.
They pretend they want to study when in fact they look at me as some sex object, and their emotional tissue..I study human nature, also know as psychology. Let me tell you women can't love, they are with you for what you can do for them, and how great you can make them feel.. And dumb males are with them for their body.
I have now passed that stage of letting them use their body to catch me.
I just focus on home improvements read, gym and martial arts. This helps me to be firm from now on.
So sorry
Have you considered moving to a different country? There are many options, so many are better than America in so many respects.
These videos about female narcissists are very validating of my experiences. Thanks Jill.
One of my half sisters would treat me like I was invisible, wouldn’t even acknowledge my presence even in the same room. I was non existent. Lucky for me, I cut her off 14 years ago and still have nothing to do with her
👏👏👏 u not the only one. I cut everyone i share dna with off. Notice i didnt call them familly just people I have the misfortune of sharing dna with BIG!!! difference!
@Dr. SAMMY BAYA No contact was the only possible ‘final solution’ for me
I did that. Then I gave her another chance. Moved to NC to be with her. I REGRET IT! No time to spend with me or money to pay me back but has time and money to be the prom queen at the bar
My ex wife was all of these examples. She had a cruel sadistic violent side that finally got me to wake up and leave.
I think I was probably in 9th grade maybe 10th grade when they made students in our state take Psychology in High School. We had to write a paper. I wrote my paper on how American Society in the 20th century had changed the Psychology of American women. I later re-wrote it & used it in college but I got crucified for the things I pointed out & how narcissism was thought to be primarily a male characteristic and how it was actually women as a group and individually that demonstrated narcissistic behavioral patterns more prominently. I gave examples and supports. This was WAY before you ever heard Narcissism and women put in the same sentence which is pretty common now. The only reason I did my paper on that is because I had been thinking about that since I was a child. My own mother was/is that way. Her sister is that way. Most of the mothers of the girls I went to school with were that way. I just wanted to know why. Women were placed on a pedestal in Western Society because of Feminism sure but also because of Advertising and Marketing where they were objectified as the most desirable and effective sales tactic Capitalism has at its disposal. Anyway, it was a very detailed paper written by a 15 year old that was probably a good 20 years ahead of its time. Point is the power of observation and reason doesn't just belong to the academic. Its belongs to the thinking, breathing, feeling, conscious human being. We can trust our instincts even they lead us down avenues of thought that aren't popular at the time.
@@thetruthchannel349 Sounds interesting. I had a pretty tough go of things in high school because of my similar observation. I'm pretty sure everybody else knew it too and just accepted the lines we were fed. That's just the way things are. The girls weren't going to give up their advantage by admitting it, and the boys still wanted to pork the girls, so they too said nothing.
I have just walked out of a 17 year relationship, and you just described my ex-fiance to a tee. I'm literally in tears. I felt like you were a fly on the wall in our relationship, it's surreal. Thank you for posting this video. I needed this. ❤️
My ex wife used everyone of these tactics on me. Luckily, I was seeing a psychologist for my combat related PTSD. He really helped me to see these tactics for what they were, and helped me navigate the "rocks and shoals". After my divorce, and two years of treatment, he told me that I had come a long way. That when I first started therapy, he could feel the anger I projected when I walked into the room.
In the end, I won! I married a wonderful woman who actually helps me with my PTSD. My ex is still bouncing from man to man.
They usually do to get their toxic feed until they end up with someone that's better than them on the same game like a narcissist or one of those few empathic individuals that fuck them up and use them.
You described my mother’s techniques! The longest silent treatment went for six months when I was a teenager. Thanks to information like this, I survived and finally I can live a happy life. Gratitude!
I hear you!! It took me until my mid 40s to realise that my mother is a sick narcissist. She is currently divorcing from my dad after 50 years of marriage.. They are bothnim in their late 70s and she is behaving like iits a War of The Roses. Unbelievable the lying, gaslighting, distortion of reality to suit her story. She has blocked me on WhatsApp a month ago as I "dared" to rip her mask of in front of the judge. I have never been more peaceful since she blocked me :-)
Mine drove me to a mental breakdown in 2020 after my father killed himself in 2017 and I was 53 when I finally melted down
6 months damn, how did she go so long without talking?
@@difigfs I am so sorry to read your story and really hope that you are doing better now. You are one hell of a strong strong woman to have held up until your 50's before the melt down. I salute you. I hope the knowledge that your mother is "sick" will help you to close the door on her. My dad tried to commit suicide when he first was thrown in to the "divorce ring". by her. I was on suicide watch for months. I truly hated my mother for years. Now , two years after the worst time imaginable, I can honestly say that I am on the road of full detachment and have found that thinking of her does hardly hurt anymore. My aim is for her existence to become trivial to me. That would be the best place to be. Wishing you and all other kind souls on this journey love and light.
@@nathaliemccaughey5456 thank you. Wishing you peace and closure. It is so hard to comprehend the lack of the natural mother/child attachment that is so normal for many . I'm grateful to have it with my own children and admittedly had to unlearn toxic behaviors and break the chain.
Lived 15 years in a relationship with a narcissist. It is not a understatement to say it ruined my life. Still recovering now with ongoing health issues 7 years after the fact. It's good to see knowledge spreading about narcissism. I see the problems with narcissists go way beyond our personal lives, it impacts our societies as well as development as a species. Narcissists love and gravitate towards positions of power and influence in society, and are naturally attracted by corruption.
Lived this in a 25 year marriage. I hung in there trying to "fix things" and "stay the course" etc. I am intellectually intelligent, but emotionally not so much. I was blind to the emotional abuse, and I struggle with feeling bad about myself because I tolerated it for so long. Near the end it got ugly because I finally started to stand up for myself. She would go NUCLEAR (though never physical) when I dared to press her HARD for accountability. I become relentless. I threatened to bring a priest over and FORCE her to do a confession. She never did anything wrong, was the victim, and I was the source of all her/our issues. I believed this for too long. I went to counseling by myself to try and fix "my issues" in order to heal the relationship. What I soon discovered was that it wasn't all my fault (and in fact was by FAR more her fault), and that I could not fix things in the relationship by myself.
I went months without the slightest warmth or affection being directed at me. I often went over a year between sexual events. I was so down on myself, and felt so unloved and unattractive. And yet, I felt (because of her manipulation) that it was all my fault and that I did it to myself. I bent over backwards to try to please her and "win her back" to no avail. I begged her to try and work on the relationship, and establish an emotional connection. I told her she doesn't put any effort into the marriage. She got mad and said she just invited me to go get dinner at a restaurant. I said that's not working on a relationship, that's feeding yourself.
I am close to ending the marriage, just some final paperwork. I have healed a lot, but there are some wounds that are so deep I'm worried they will never heal. When a woman that you gave everything you have to for 3 decades takes away so much of you, the tattered remnants of my heart and soul may never completely heal. I've silently cried for myself way too many times for 5 lifetimes, let alone one. I just pray to God for healing and ask that he repair my crippled heart and mind.
Every day is a challenge, but I'm now with an empath that loves me for me. We are very close and I love her dearly, but the wide open heart of youth that trusts and is able to love 100% is not within me yet. Perhaps with time it will be.
I carry on though and try to find something to feel joy and appreciation for every day.
You CAN do this! Live your best life, you’ve already started by shutting the door on her. You recognised everything and said ‘no more’! I’m so proud of you, thrilled you’ve found someone who is not anything like your soon to be ex and YOU ARE HELPING YOURSELF! Well done. Your heart will open again fully, trust will come fully. Give yourself time, don’t fret over it or feel badly about it.
I did it for 1 decade and feel like you do i couldnt imagine 3 decades i believe time is the healer i did it for the same reasons too so i can relate.
You are a very strong person for withstanding it for so long and surviving it in my eyes WE WON .
Hey man, sometimes I don't know why I'm here on this side of UA-cam once in awhile over the years, because I'm actually a man who's intentionally dodged full commitment his whole life due to not being ready, Saturn in Sagittarius in my birth chart, religious upbringing w/ massive benefits & also accompanying youthful blind spots, and a very high IQ / amazing stubborn streak for *waiting* to find the right girl when my life is also right.
Anyway, it's like I'm so opposite that the spectrum wraps downward on both sides like a circle, and we meet a little bit. Kind of like the political spectrum. The way I see this being true here is that I can encourage you with my completely stubborn and also completely overly-studied opinion that aging, and even a failure to reverse aging, are unnecessary now (at this time in history.) Thinking, sleeping, eating, and exercising as would be required is of course more expensive, as a disclaimer, but you can reap amazing benefits seriously within days.
This is going to sound stupid, but adopt a zero- or close-to zero-carb diet but with gratuitous amounts of grass-fed animal fat if (+ as) you can, eat exclusively grass-fed meat to the degree that you can, supplement the 7 forms of magnesium (or even better, eat liver at least once a week for the huge dose of magnesium and every vitamin but C,) and take up drinking bone broth from grass-fed animals. You can make that in the Crock-Pot or pressure cooker. The bone broth is especially magical to experience before you've read up on it, as is the liver in a different way, and also raw eggs are kind of a geometric mean of the two.
I know this probably all sounds ridiculous right now, so I just want to say that I'm so massively sorry for what she did to you. I hope you keep progressing well toward understanding that it wasn't your fault. Honestly, it perhaps can't even be said that it was her fault, what life turned her into. Perhaps this knowledge might serve as the last little key for forgiving her also, while you are forgiving yourself, and ultimately for allowing you to process and let go of all of the final vestiges of the grief, when you are ready.
Sorry man, but definitely keep on keeping on the right path. Also, it's manifest that you're also helping others when you share, as others have done for you.
God bless you.
Good for you, I'm 2 years out of the relationship and still struggling, I can't seem to find anyone that wants the kind of love that I am used to giving, total and absolute. Maybe noone exists that wants to be loved with the kind of love I'm used to giving. The kind of love that was demanded of me by my wife of 22 years. I adored her but nothing I ever did was good enough or worth anything.
Many narcissists will go so far as to tell lies which will destroy a reputation, a career, family relationships. They don't want to just strike someone, they usually go for a death blow. That she did not do that to you is something you should feel grateful for and appreciation for everyday.
This women has totally nailed it she’s 100% correct
I had a job and the female supervisor started hitting on me on orientation day. It continued until I failed to respond for about a month and she terminated me. I found out 2 years later she was filing temporary restraining orders on me. I eventually got served. The woman judge was absolutely unreasonable and validated the order. Bizarre experience.
Once you realize they see you and work together you truly feel hunted.
Wow. This vid describes my ex wife completely. She wasn’t like that at first but it gradually came out. The manipulations and abuse. It started out verbally, emotionally, and psychologically, then later she became physically abusive. She hit me all the time and threw things at me. When I lost my parents she became worse and really did a number on me. Thank god my best friend stepped in. He moved me into his guest house and got me counseling. I’ve struggled with mild mental handicaps all my life and she took advantage of me. She pretty much ended up with everything I own and took everything my parents left me, but thanks to my best friend I was able to get my parents house back.
Happy for you and hope you continue to seek help and regain your self worth and self love❤
You were blessed to have a friend like that.
Bless you brother, stay STRONG!
You're a survivor. You have a true friend.
She ghosted me for 6 months. Then came back and said I was emotionally abusive. The gaslighting and the projection were so damaging. I still struggle with questioning the things she said about me
Don't even question them. They're utterly unreliable. She's like a rattlesnake. You don't hate the snake for being a cold blooded venomous reptile. You just avoid her at all costs. Done!
My ex did the silent treatment qnd blocked me off projected on me and when I would lose my rag said I was toxic and bombarding her. F these evil people
@@robwood8331 Happening to me too. Make me feel like I'm wrong for feeling what I feel.
Turn that pain into scar tissue. It doesn't hurt anymore, but it's still a part of you. Learn from it.
I feel it
The silent treatment is definitely aggressive behavior. Great video
Oh and projection has to be the most frustrating thing to deal with. It’s absolutely impossible to reason with someone using this tactic. My advice... Get Out
Number one is to lure you in with the temptation of sex. Number two, When you are hooked, she will ration the sex to her needs. If she wants something, the sex increases, when she is sated it deminishes. Number three, she has entrapped another man outside your relationship, then the silent treatment starts, no matter how many times you ask her what is wrong, she will not discuss anything with you and this can go on for weeks. Number four, she has to be the centre of attention in public and will put you down if you try to take poll position from her, she is impervious to others reactions. Number five, When she has milked you dry of every penny and emotion you have left, she makes life so imposible, you have to leave. Love is as destructive, as is the agenda of the narcissist.
❤️
God bless you for writing down the exact emotion.
Thanks for the words.
You have described perfectly the covert female Narcissist. Demons.
Spot on ✊️
As much damage as a 4-year relationship with a pedophile stepfather did it was nothing compared to the abuse my narcissistic mother did. I've been trying to work through that damage my entire life. Our culture comes across as implying that only men are abusers and that the only really damaging abuse is sexual abuse. Yet, from what I have seen in my 71 years there are plenty of females who create emotional devastation, which lasts an entire lifetime, in those who come in contact with her.
I agree,
You are touching on a huge flaw in our system here. Those women will receive no punishment for the damage, and will even be allowed to continue damaging the kids.
@Infinite Shoeblack Sorry.
@@poulwinther you are absolutely correct. Our system sees women as victims and men as perpetrators. That generalization is there on every level. I am a great-grandmother, 71 years of age. I have seen that cloak expressed as an unspoken rule in the 1950s and 60s. Beginning in the 70s with the uptick in the feminist movement it has reached new heights of cruelty and deception. Today a woman can make a false accusation against a man and destroy his career, his family, his life. That happens because women are seen as victims now more than ever before. We even have political candidates like Hillary Clinton stating, her words exactly, "All women must be believed". How ridiculous that is, and how much damage it does, not just to men but to children, to entire families caught up in this awful confusion, is incalculable. We need to look beneath the veil of 'all women are victims' and start to hold women strictly accountable.
Thank you for saying this. Mental abuse is far worse than sexual abuse
My now husband suffered this with his ex, it was me that picked up on this ,i helped him to see !!! Now he is happy and she is ignored. I feel for all of you that have gone through this abuse😢 stay strong and live your best happy life 😊😊😊
Its women like you that give us hope
1. Cold shoulder
2. Withholding love & affection /sex
3. Utilizing guilt trips
4. Shaming, humiliating, devaluing.
5. Utilizes gaslighting and projection
Thank you for the recap. Very beneficial, Now listen to it a second time to really get in-depth meaning out of it👍.
Add Cheating and blame shifting !!
Yup 😳😖🥴
Sounds like my ex down to every point.
Wow! Spot on!
The silent treatment was BRUTAL! - I’d rather be yelled at.
Withholding love and affection made me try everything in my power to get it back.
The shaming and humiliation happened seldom, but it was employed in a pretty demoralising way…
The gaslighting and projection just left me confused and wondering if I was actually going insane.
If anyone is in this situation, run for the hills! If you have children with them, don’t worry, they’ll understand later in life ❤️
I don't know what to make of your comment 😔😔😔😥😥😥.
Because this is me. I have gone over 40 days without being shown love. Touched. Kissed. I'm going crazy.
Most of the time she wanna tell her issues and I must be interested.
And I must be happy or else…
I so love her to bits 😪😪😪. But I wanna leave. I wanna leave 😭😭😭. Life is too short. I need help from a friend or something just to have a place to crash while I regain myself.
I can relate to this! I get the silent treatment which I refer to as "the eleventeen days thing" because there is no telling how long the silence will last. She can be that way for days or even multiple weeks at a time. And it can be for the most trivial things.
I wish you all the best and remember to practice self-care and self-improvement. We have to learn to love ourselves
@@tshepothenigma I hope you're well mate - it's never too late.
I was lied on to the police by my wife after I stood up for myself and said I wasn’t going to go along with her abusive behavior, gaslighting, and manipulating. She said she was going to her mother’s house and went to the police station to file a false report to get me out of the house. She put a retraining order on me and threw away my belongings from our house. She called my job and got me fired. Pressing false charges in court to keep me without a job. Has my kids lying on me. I’m going thru it. I can’t believe I chose a person who can do this to her kids and myself. I disappointed and broken hearted. I’ve never been betrayed by someone this bad.
@@MrRemrock There's light at the end of tunnel mate - stay focused and keep pushing through!
These exact 5 things happened to me. I knew something was up. But didn’t know what was happening. I felt like I was walking on eggshells.
I went to a psyche and discussed it in detail. She confirmed either Narc or BDP. Absolutely most horrific experience of my life and I still have trouble trying to explain it to people. It’s been almost 4 years now. I’ll never look at women the same ever again.
My nex did all of this to me, to the very extreme!! I literally felt as though I was going crazy! Couldn't get enough men in her life! Of course they were all "friends", as she claimed. She was not very good with having female friends. The only females that she kept around were the ones that continued to praise her constantly and that she could do no wrong. They are very twisted, sick and demented people!
yes they are not full humans imo. I think they are demons in a human body!
a narc is never going to be faithful to anybody and they dont have friends they have enablers and flying monkeys.
she doesn't know how to love or care for you or any man as a person...only what they can do for her. she is trapped in a permanent cycle of addiction to attention and entitlement to servitude. she owns any man who cannot tame their lust toward her or think their money, time and anything they offer will make her happy. nothing is further from the truth. characters like her unfortunately are permanently delusional and unhappy. no capacity to love...only knows to use others and engraft them into a web of dark messy, unfulfilled relationships with hopes of an outcome they will never own. she does even know what she want herself... leave tricks like that to the curb side fit for the recycling bin. heal and be well. learn and be free from her schemes. never look back...keep moving on to better options grounded in knowledge. be resentment free. it's a journey and abundant life is out there of you reach forward. "she" represents the main idea of a twisted narcissist with traits matching the experiences you presented to best of my interpretation at first read. just encouraging victims to rise above the chaos of experiences like this, connect the dots through understanding and be free....this the main central aim and focus of my reply here
yep, just like my Narc, i notice Narc girl are jealous for whatever reason she had .....
sometimes i baffle at how insecure she is, but i will lash out as Narc Rage, hahahaha
In the old culture s they used to leave them out in the cold to die when they were a baby, now a days we have to deal with them
My whole family were narcissists...my life has been lousy with these creeps. I finally gave up and decided to be alone, screw it
My ex wife mastered a skill I couldn’t comprehend until about a year before our divorce: Any time there was an argument, she would talk to me as if I was a third person. I mean that literally. Initially it used to drive me absolutely insane, because really? Who does that? But when I finally figured it out, no more engagement from me. I would just click on my screen saver face and ride it out. Taught me more about narcissism than I could have ever dreamed, but I’m kinda grateful now. Can spot it 5 miles away now. Good video 🙏🏻
I remember once after I was discarded, I went to a topless club. Some people tried to make me feel bad about it. The thing is, it had nothing to do with sex. Women touched me. It may be hard to understand for a person who had not been abandoned. But I needed somebody just to touch me. Just something to alleviate the emptiness for one day. All I know is I made it through another day.
There is no shame in that at all.
Especially do not let females shame you for it as it is another form of gaslighting. Think this way,... Your just helping another woman earn her paycheck in a field that she chose, so she can be independent.
I'm there right with you at this point in my life. Been there before years ago and back again.
At least we are getting what we agreed to and paid for.
Chin up & love you Brother!
I empathize and sympathize with you..
I know a young pretty woman, that I think is not really into me...
But on occasion she let's me hold her hand and peck her on the cheek..
She sometimes hugs me and pecks me on mine...
Without her and other pub acquaintances that have become good friends, I don't think I would be walking the Earth today....😪
Man.... this sounds almost exactly what I went through. Didn't go to a strip club but just even something as simple as going to the store or lunch once in a blue coming across a woman that was just nice enough to say "hello" would mean the world to me. It may sound desperate to guys not going through this but when your soul has been beaten down over time, just any acknowledgment, especially at that time with my child's mom, was food for the spirit.
@@diontrott4876 Brother, all if not most of us good men realize that not only are we starving for human acceptance and love, but that it is needed. COMPASSION!
I guarantee that all of us that have been through this, & we feel this way.
No longer do I squander the time & attention given too me, but I know we all will cherish and love this.
But be diligent as we can not let this be our down fall.
Simply put, guard your own while standing up for what we believe in.
If they don't make the cut then it is for a reason.
Love is the only answer. But yet our love must be strong and like a rock.
But also understand that being that rock we may gather a lot of shipwrecks in our time. We just need to realize what is really gold among the barnacles.
I certainly did more than once since it took years before I could even attempt a normal relationship. A woman who stays happy and positive towards you for as many minutes as you pay? Lightyears more decent and honest than any abusive woman will ever be.
Happy Sunday Lady J ☺
Some more Abuse Tactics:
Bringing up your past to make you feel bad in the present
Smear campaigning you to others
Trying to provoke you so you react negatively to them (which they might react to your reaction by escalating the situation)
Saving anything you sent them in writing to use as ammunition
Trying to get you arrested 😯
You summed the tactics up very well. My mom did every one of the tricks in the book
So you've met my wife I see?
@@davidhinkson8856 lol
Saving anything you sent to them to use as weapons; try to cut you off from friends and family; if you share anything with them in confidence about a person in your circle they would find that person and tell them you said that about them; everyone is the perpetrator and they are innocent little victims; try to make it seems you are not functioning off a full deck like your head not screwed on properly when they are the ones who are twisted; LIARS; accuse you of things they are guilty of
Nailed it!
My wife, unfortunately, checks off all 5 boxes. I confronted her yesterday and it was extremely enlightening.
You are the first person I've listened to that points out how it gets worse with age. It's exactly what I see in my soon to be ex. Her machinations are just getting crazier and crazier as time goes by. It's astounding to observe.
Get
Out
@@zoeymckeown3194 It's hard to escape with a kid involved. Slowly but surely.
@@SomeGuy-xf9bc I’m right there with you bud!. Got a couple months left and my new life can begin..
Ramani says this often - but it needs a full video.
If your still married to her and your soon to be divorced your biggest nightmare is yet to come. Please get help when this happens and never be alone. Once your in jail for something you never did she will rob you blind while working on her next victim. It keeps getting worse. Take care!
Absolutely true I'm a male and have gone through this thankyou so much for help and support ❤️💜❤️
I have a feeling that many people use silent treatment whether they are narcissists or not, if you have been wrong by someone you deprive them of your time and attention you aren’t just going to continue dysfunctional and abusive conversations. It depends a lot on a context, I hate silence but I learned sometimes it’s better not to say anything, if a person can’t figure out in it’s own what they did is wrong then I have nothing to tell them.
Another reason good reason to give them the silent treatment especially to a coworker is permanently ending their relationship for good. Your responsibilty afterwards is don't say anything to other coworkers about the issue/s. After all, it is none of their business.
As adults the silent treatment may mean that people don’t know how to approach the problem and that’s me but I can’t stuff things bothering me like that. That’s weird. I have to say something! Lol
Thank you so much for acknowledging how this is done to men! I think many women abusers hide behind that false misconception that only men can abuse and that women abusers are just "crazy bitches," "wear the pants in the family," "just their time of the month" etc. and the men are just weak in taking the abuse, they should just take the abuse from women.
Be aware of the "you don't love me" or "you don't love me enough" guilt tripping manipulative tactics. This one got me to just try harder and cater to all their needs.
Agreed
Yep, the “you don’t love me”, or “if you really loved me blah blah blah” are some of narcissist’s & psychopath’s favorite demolition tools.
I've had a lot of experience fighting these people from a young age and I'm very observant of them. They're easy to defeat one on one. It's when they have their little sheeple with them that they cause real problems.
Monkey branching
My mother is a classic case of a narcissist. She did this all to my dad. I endured her antics for many years! I’m happy I escaped the hell she created for all of us 20 years ago! Never looked back or talked to her since! I get a lot of flak for not celebrating Mother’s Day, but they don’t know the demon that she was!
I know EXACTLY how you feel. The same Ole bs. But that's your mother. You only get one mom. No! Some are sadistic Vulnerable Sociopathic tendencies. Toxic family members are a no go.
Never look back....
"They" Do Not Know The Demon She Was! Either "they" don't know OR don't WANT to know. Superficial sympathy is not compassion. And it doesn't help IMHO. I have grown more independent and self-reliant in my life as a result of experiencing the tendencies within human nature to tolerate and ignore the victimization of others. I appreciate the Pareto distribution or 80/20 rule. It helps me understand that roughly 4 in 5 people could care less to walk in someone else's shoes. Maybe one in five people have the self awareness and developed empathy necessary to appreciate that the world doesn't revolve around them. These rare jewels will take the time necessary to sit and listen 👂and understand. That simple act of just LISTENING by itself is cathartic. Therapeutic. There's a song I heard a while back about how the world needs a bigger front porch. We could mitigate so much trauma and abuse in this cold world by merely caring enough to listen and try to understand how another person feels. Try to understand what others have lived through.
Somebody could write a thick textbook on Malicious Narcissists by describing my mother's 93 years life
Mine just passed at 87.
I am currently reading 'mothers who don t love' i am to the part about writing 'what she did to me'.
It is going to take forever as my counselor has given me a 15 min time limit so that i am not retraumatised by writing it out. I envision 20 legal pads (on front and back) before i am finished but i have great hope that this will help me heal.
I am so grateful that having a n mother is known and that i am not alone.
They seem to live forever, you are free.
I went through this for eight years. I always assumed it was me, I had to be doing something to evoke this behavior from her. I saw tons of red flags, but dismissed them. I think I stuck it out for so long was my misguided belief the real her was those early days of hand holding, pda and sweetness. I constantly gave in to her irrational demands. It always got worse. I literally thought i was going crazy. Things that never happened were presented to me as reality. I get we both have our side of the story, but I feel like I should at least remember being there. I was constantly feeling like I was being selfish. Top all of it off with her alcoholism and I am embarrassed I stayed so long. We separated for a few months and eventually got back together. I had glimpse of freedom, and didn't move on. I felt at the time, she was the best I could do. My self esteem was shot. She had successfully isolated me from friends and family. She was and is the Triangulation Champion. The only smart things I took from the mini breakup were to keep connected with friends and family, invest in myself and business. Eventually, I said screw it and started moving forward. I felt the distance growing between us as I started exercising more independence from her manipulative nature. The triangulation and projection was off the charts. The projection didn't hit home until after the relationship ended. What surprised me was how a couple of my friends had experienced the same thing in previous relationships. My pride and being a private person (not so much now as I comment), kept me from reaching out for help or an audience. Here is the kicker. I have never been happier since she left. I didn't realize how isolated and down I was until she was out of the house. For a minute, I wanted to go tell everyone about the BS I had endured over the years,. Eventually, realization kicked in. Now, I just want to live my life and love myself. Is it weird for me to struggle with the absence of the feeling of loss after eight years?
I have been with my wife for 30 years and everything you have said 100% true. We haven't been intimate for years, no hugs or kisses in decades
End it. Leave. She'll destroy you and laugh to herself. Leave
Hit the road Jack
30 years is time that you can't get back😢 you deserve better ...leave!
Hearing this makes me realize how numb I have become. I couldn't care less about the silent treatment , guilt trips , gaslighting or withholding affection .My wife took it to a higher level. Try dealing with false police reports, using my password to steal money and then threatening to turn me in. Calling my boss and trying to ruin my career. I'm so numb I doubt I will ever trust or love again.
I'm right there with you buddy. I will tell you that they're some good women out there. Ive been dating a new young lady for a little over 6 months. And she is the complete opposite of any of my exes.
I chose her for the RIGHT reasons and not just lust.. The most important trait when choosing a partner is character/moral compass. A person with a strong character doesn't behave like this.
Vet people better also. People are getting married in 6 months, that's insane...
Wow that’s actually sad i feel bad for you to go thru that I thought my situation was worse smh hope you doing well
Close to exactly what you dealt with
Unbelievable! It happened to me
@@mikerainwater6154 They are very pathetic and vengeful
My narc mom continued to be a narc even on her death bed. I told her she really missed out by refusing to come and see me in my new home. She just stared at me and gave me the silent treatment. I changed the subject to something I knew was 'safe', and she immediately engaged in the conversation again. I had given her one last opportunity to reflect on her behaviour and maybe apologize. Nope......
I’ve always said withholding love from a partner was a deal breaker. To me, this was always a sign that “love” was a tool for them, not a foundation in a healthy relationship. It’s one thing to go a period without it because they’re going through a phase of depression, lacking confidence, or something along those lines. It’s vastly different to say “you’re not getting any if you don’t do X,Y,Z.”
Very, very well said.
What if x,y,z translates to "respect, value, appreciate"?
@@plumbus8315 I rhink that would be the reverse scenario
@@plumbus8315x y z are used as examples of tangible things.
I recently told a woman I've liked for a couple of years about being abused financially, emotionally, and physically, which was quite a thing to do as a man. It's because it's comfortable being honest with her, so at least she knows why I was a bit wary of her at first, and a bit distant.
hopefully she realises I always liked her, and just hesitated because of being confused, wanting to know what's on the inside before doing anything.
After 12 months of healing, things are so much more calm and peaceful now, and in a position to move on. That's all I want, to move on. I'm 'letting go' of everything, and seeing what happens.
Narcs ruin lives when you allow them. Any bond you have should be broken, I know it feels unnatural to do that with family for example, but loving yourself enough to not put up with it is definitely the most important thing.
Look yourself in the eye, and be honest. You don't need that nonsense. Don't accept it.
You talk as if you're shameful for expressing your emotions, it's ok to say "Hey this is what happened in my past and I'm gun shy." She can accept your past and work with it, or take the easier route and dump you. Relationships take effort and work.
@@easytrips3448 she knows I'm a bit shy, told her last year.
Thanks for your humble honesty, bless you and I hope your days are sunny 🌞
It's such a hard and confusing tightrope that "Us Men" have to walk in this society.
Is anyone not realizing the long last and painful damage that they are causing "Us Men" in this day and age with theses mindsets?
This is ruining one half of the population that is needed for everyone's survival and happiness.
The way they ‘make it hard to walk away’ is through a potent combination of manipulation…
Guilt, pressure, pleasure, need, fear, threat, abusing your naïveté and honesty (on and on).
If it was easy to walk away, more people would do it sooner, and female narcissists would be out of business.
My covert narcissist mother does this consistently. Before watching these kinds of enlightening videos about narcissism. I always the one reachng out to my mother but now I enjoyed the peace in solitude when she gives silent treatment to me. I no longer comply and give her that fuel. No more!
Mother/Daughter relationships should be the most caring of all relationships. I have the opposite. My grown daughter is a narcissist and also, a drug addict. I have grieved over the lost of this relationship with my daughter, as she is my only daughter but I have to let her find her own way in life. I pray someday, she will seek professional counselling and rehab, but I can't let her chaotic behavior disturb my inner peace and my home.
@Eliz White, I would like to commend you for being a kind, caring and understanding mother which I never had. As a mother to a young daughter, I can feel your pain. Continue to love her even from afar. Letting go of someone for them to grow in life is the best gift for both parties involved. We cannot change the person and always save them when they themselves don't want to change for the better. It has to come from within oneself.
It's all about control and power for a narcissist mother. Every interaction is transactional "love" is performance based and you need to watch out! She's just out for her self serving needs. Does anyone else notice how narcissist mothers live in the moment? Like zero forethought for what the future holds for them? Does anyone else notice how a narcissist mother demands the accountability of a child?
This is a HUGE society problem that needs to be addressed..
Honestly people like you and me could never choose our mom. Sometimes life gives us lemoms. I am sorry for what you had to go through. But she made you far stronger than most normal people.
I was married to a narcissist for 10 years. In the beginning:
1) love bombing. Portrays herself as the perfect woman.
2) begins sleeping elsewhere, not with you.
3) not wanting to do things with you.
4) begins going after other men, claiming "friends". Starts posting selfies on social media all-the-time. Even telling the world she never "gets her panties in a bunch because I don't wear them".
5) accused me all the time of cheating.
5) will do things, say things and then vehemently deny it - even discrediting witnesses.
6) secretly taking nudes of herself - thousands of them. When I accidentally discovered them, she swore they were for me.
7) all affection died. All terms of endearment vanished.
8) sabotaged me in very damaging ways. Used my login and passwords for emails and social media to make it look like I was doing and saying things. All while I was at work.
9) would start arguments for no reason.
10) always accusing me of things.
11) later learned she had been having sex with all kinds of men.
12) she couldn't hold a job. Always getting fired.
13) out of the blue, told me she's leaving, moving out. Something she had been planning for a very long time. One month later, we're divorced and she's married to another man.
14) she moves from one marriage to another - no gaps. She's never ever without a man.
15) too much more I could list, but these are the big ones.
She's a nightmare.
Severe case.
My narc sister was giving me a hateful glare from across a room. She moved in a way to hide behind her hair when she saw I was looking. I've gone no contact for a few years. Would have done it sooner if I knew what I was dealing with.
Now it’s time for u to heal. Congratulations, it gets better. No more dead weight.
Haven't talk to sister in 3 years she craycary and has changed so much over the past 10 years, I believe her job did this to her. So sad.
Finally got out of an 8 year marriage with a Narc female. Being an empath she ABUSED me mentally/physically, and all around broke me down to my core. After we had our son she held him over my head NONSTOP if I even mentioned leaving.
What does holding over your head mean?
@@SA-iu7xj means that's she is threatening to withhold contact with his son if he left her
I’m in that same sinking boat
How did u get out and what about your child?
She nailed all the boxes. My daughter and her mother appear to have this. The mother hasn't been in her life for around 7 years, but my daughter seems to have become a narcissist.
She is absolutely right about recognizing that this happens to both genders.
I divorced my wife this year but I still see her mom at my workplace. She still gives me the angriest glare I’ve ever gotten every time we meet. I’m not sure what she wants: I quietly divorced her daughter and haven’t contacted her in over three months. For someone that claims to be so Christian, she’s not very forgiving.
I hope the so called Christian ones realize God has a special place for them, and it's not where they think!
@@davidhinkson8856 If there is a God, then I think they will have words.
I know my wifes mom came to stay here, I felt double condemnation from both of them. I finally kicked her out
@Cartwright Worm. When she glares, smile at her. Lol
I know, it's poking the bear, but it's very satisfying. I had a horrible narc husband. When his family saw me after our divorce, they'd glare daggers. I used to get upset and scared by it. Then when I realized I no longer cared, I'd just give them a big smile and move on. No talk, no contact, just a Cheshire cat grin. It pissed them off big time.
This just in: Spirituality and "being a Christian" are great facades for many abusers. " How DARE you accuse me (of what I have done, and what I am doing) intentionally to harm you, your reputation, your finances and your mental and emotional balance,) when I love the Lord??" OMG. They may love someone all right...but it's not the Lord. (They "love" themselves-- and they serve the guy with the hooves.)
Your channel is all inclusive and its a joy to listen to you. Yes a woman can be an abuser.
They are half of them for sure. They just get by with it under the radar. Been under the radar since the beginning of time. Does Eve remind you of something.
Thank you for shining a light on this. What stands out for me is that at the same time as exposing this issue, this lady stands as an extremely important reminder to us men, there are good women out there, and their support is needed.
I deeply respect this lady’s integrity.
My grandmother did all these things. The stupid part was that she tried to do this with her grandkids who had no attachment or affection to her, so despite being extreamly angering, we didn't actually care about her or feel any debt or connection to her. I guess she just assumed we cared because we were biologically her grandkids... man did she miscalculate
Many women because the immediate Sons and Daughters respond to it. they do it to the grandkids who know enough to walk away sometimes and do not fall prey to such techniques. Nothing works all the time the people try these things over and over
Ha. That’s the key. If you don’t care all their tactics don’t work.
My dad was verbally abused by my mom. I always tried to protect him, or stand up for him. The result was that they both turned on me. He stayed in the marraiges. Very sad
Mine, too.
Exactly!
That's very common
Or your mom just didn't put up with you and your dad's ish. 👀
That part don't try to help people unless they want out
I’m just happy that society is starting to recognize that men get abused too. But more importantly, I’m proud that more men are opening up about their pain
All good. However, what we REALLY HAVE TO TALK ABOUT is narcissists at large! In the work place, your roommate, your neighbor, on the subway. NARCISSISTS APPEAR IN MORE ROLES THAN DOMESTIC PARTNERS AND LOVE INTERESTS.
They use their tactics to move-up in everything , males / or females!
Its because the governments use all narc tactics and nlp on the people. So from that comes unconscious behavior from people...
Yes even my neighbour six doors further, one above me who is already moved out and one I dont know found eachother on fb talking evil about me, reported me to the police with lies and police allowed themselves to be used by violently kicking in my door, assaulting, imprisoning me, kidnapping, torture, detaining, interrogating, insulting and humiliating me. Four men!! none had cognition, all had sadistic features just like my ex.
Prosecutor gave the order and did not want to investigate or dismiss anything so now it goes to the magistrate. But the whole judicial top here in NL is corrupt and pedophile or have stockholm syndrome.
YES THESE JEALOUS EVIL DEMONS ARE EVERYWHERE! Ive had narc love interest, fake jealous friends, bosses, co workers. randoms, doctors my doctor right now is a covert narc and a racist, whole family full of em etc. u gotta educate yourself and always be on guard. Not all people who are jealous are narcissist but all narcissist are jealous!
They don't ever gain remotely the level of control in those roles and in addition it is talked about. This wasn't about any narcissist for a reason. How about respecting that please?
Once you get involved with a female covert narcissist it's definitely a lose lose and downhill experience the only thing to do is run 🏃♂️ as far as you can because they will destroy you
Mine keeps on trying to destroy me, and we have been divorced for years!!! She's unable to find someone for an LTR, so she continually directs this hate towards me. Constantly posts on social media that I did all of these things to her that never happened!!!! UGH
Only if U let them I know mine is in hiding because she gutless 4 months put up with abuse
What if you have a young child with them? I dint want to abandon my kid.
@ali kamal Appreciate it!!
@@alb6804 i hope things get better for you
Yup I remember vividly being accused of cheating regularly for almost 3 years until she was literally caught red handed. It's kind of hard to keep lying about a child that isn't yours. Yeah that one hurt.
They all do this game. Hope you healed. The only punishment they understand is when you become successful. Get real solid and when she comes around with a hoover then inflicting Narcissistic injury is a must. Leave them at the crossroads of Mortification. Have your excapes well placed. Cameras, recording and back doors. Social media platforms disabled a year or more. Sit back and karma does its thing.
@@kevinowens6010 yeah but when you get rich like i did, they immediately turn it around and threaten with suicide and shit while having your kids. all because of a tantrum that they lost the game of life
@@timohaikarainen3957 I got Rich in the last Two years. Old Narcs come a running like piggies. I have personally handed four asses right back to four Bottomfeeders. Gray rock for the kids only. I know that one is hard. Had two Dumbasses threaten the suicide game on me. I told them "hurry up I have places to go and things to do." They are to selfcentered to kill themselves. They will put on a drama show for shits and giggles! That buys time for Narcs don't learn and will Hoover again and again. Any weakness in your armor and your fucked! No cracks. Whatever a narc does even if you get lucky and they knock themselves out of everyone's play pen you have no accountability to that. That is how they Trauma bond you. They are Adults that are four years old. They may make fourteen on a good day, but the next day they are four years old.
@@timohaikarainen3957 look seriously you got it made. Let the Narc keep threatening suicide. Record it. Then go to the authorities. A danger to self and others gets her 30 days in happy camp. As you gray rock your way through shit you now have the upperhand in any custody case. I suggest a good lawer as well. You get out of this Relationshit and have the kids if you play your cards right. These Narcs are Dumbasses in reality.
damn you 2
Thank you for shining a light on women that are narssasist against men. I’ve been down that road with females in my family as well as my wife. I no longer want to walk around on eggshells any damn more and every thing you spoke about is exactly how she’s been with me for the past 30+ years of marriage and can’t put up with it anymore and I won’t as of today. I don’t drink or smoke in or out of the house. I go to church regularly and she’s also is very involved with the church. I work and go home to her every night, keep bills paid and try to be very loving and affectionate to her and it’s still not enough. I even paid a day spa once for her that cost me over 400 bucks at a high end shopping district and she told me I should have just gave her the money instead. I have so many stories like this with her over the years but I’m just done!
the dreaded Jezebel Spirit manifested in women, that affects just as many men...right as rain again Jill.
This was helpful❤️ can you please make a video how people become narcissist
@@evatrujillo6865 they can be manufactured, but the hardcore heavy-duty hobgoblins are always generational bloodline born...
@@Imnotyourdoormat 'Cluster B Personality Disorders' are most certainly a tragic multigenerational affliction but they are not genetic in origin. This group of mental disorders is caused by abuse, exploitation and neglect. The wounded spirit and broken minds of children raised under these horrible conditions turn them into heartless people. These disorders are a means of adapting and coping with the horror and terror they live with. The primitive strategies they use become ossified and permanent features of their distorted personalities. It is not a genetically inherited disorder but the environment in which they develop and grow that leads to their particular form of madness.
HPD with NPD are Lilith!
@@michaeljensen4650 You better believe it
Thanks Jill, great video! Aging narcissists take on a human form, but are absolute evil incarnate. A narcissistic boss I had recently loved to use gaslighting, lying, ridicule, humiliation, projection and triangulation. She had many flying monkey/ kiss ups who cheered her on, helped her pick out and victimize new targets, and continue to punish old adversaries.
2 1/2 months and counting right now experiencing the silent treatment from my wife of 26 years. This is the first time I ever learned about what she really is- a narcissist. Watching this video was like turning on the light and all the sudden I experienced clarity. She does all of these things to me. Time to make some changes. Feel like a weight was just lifted from my shoulders. Thank you Jill!
2 1/2 months? I'm on 3 years 3 months and counting, but at least it means that much of the criticism has stopped. Not even she can criticise without speaking. Hope things have improved for you!
Hello Jill and thank you for your insight. My mother-in-law gave me the silent treatment for 9 months because I finally stood up for myself after 17 years of abuse. The cruelest and most vicious behavior I had ever experienced.
Number 6: The female narcisssist loves to sabotage.
My narc mother would call my employer (just out of concern of course) to ask how I was doing at work then launch into a disparaging rant about how I was so untrustworthy and useless at home. Ultimately, my mother's goal was to get me fired, with no demands on my time from work I now had no reason to not be able to be a free babysitter every day. My mother was EXTREMELY coercive controlling!
Why would she do that??😦 Why not support her son/daughter instead?😣 My..
That is truly horrid
My father's third wife got me fired from a job so I joined the army where she (they) couldn't control a damn thing. They're still mad at me 30 years later for leaving. I don't visit.
omg..
That's down right sociopathic!
# 4 - Hides behind her sarcasm and plays it off as a joke. She doesn't get her way and gets pissed. This is a friend I was trying to date and figured her out, she couldn't deal with me in that manner. Thank you for putting these tubes out!
Today marks the 90 days since I left one of those. She nearly destroyed me but common sense and self preservation instinct prevailed. I even surprised myself that I have managed to recover so quickly. Family and friends played a massive role in the process. To all those suffering out there it's possible to leave these deviants and start living a new life so do not give up and never surrender. I personally recommend physical exercise which in turn will boost your mental health.
physical exercise is gold for us men. I'm happy for you, brother!
Man I feel like I might be in one of these relationships. I’ve been with her for 14 years and we have a 4 year old. It’s reached a point where I’m not allowed to disagree with her, if I do, I get steamrolled. I desperately try to be as soft and calm as possible, focus on my breathing and try my best not to deviate from the original point.
She will always employ the same tactics. She will deflect from the original point, raise alternate points, lie and make up insults that I’ve never said to her, if I defend myself saying I never said such things, she will simply claim I’m gaslighting her. She’ll insult me and storm off claiming I’m growing aggressive and she’s scared of me.
I’m always left confused.
Over the last 4 years I’ve grown far more silent and scarred to disagree. She has grown more and more ruthless.
I’m not sure what my next move is. I just tried to express my pain to her in hope that we can move forward with better communication. It lasted two minutes before she walked out.
I wish I could get out
@@jasonherzig9406 just go, get out, no good will come of you staying, they do not change, I waited 22 years for change that never came. The best part of my life is now gone, I'm old and crippled with arthritis, but at least I am now free.
@@nexttime9272 by your message, you are. You need to walk away, she will never change, you are starting to lose yourself, your identity, you need to get out before you lose yourself completely, as I did. I don't know who I am meant to be anymore, I am not the person I was becoming when I was happy and free of the knowledge that narcissists exist only to destroy us.
Now... imagine you live in a society that tells women that whatever choice they make is "empowering"...
Where could this go wrong?
Agreed. To be empowered is liberating, but without accountability or morals it's destructive.
Great insight! Our culture and the legal system totally support their "empowered" behavior.
@@ogfight Can you please explain what this "empowered behavior" is? I'm a woman and most my life is study and work.
Great addition to the topic narcissism !!! Can only confirm, female narcissist becomes worse with age. Just went no-contact with my mother because the abuse became to much to endure. Playing grey rock now or "silence treatment" backwards. And my life improved so much.
Thank you for making a video on the female narcissist....NAILED IT
I've experienced all 5 of these tactics.
The "silent treatment" is the cruelest. The withhold is devastating. and the shame & humiliation was overwhelming, unbelievable, and extremely embarrassing.
I too have experienced all 5 but I actually felt that the "silent treatment" was the best of them as I just go about my life normally and she eventually folds when she needs something from me. We have a young son or I would be done with the relationship. I don't know what to do really to be able to protect him from her except to be there for him as much as possible...
@@billtay1963 That’s a tough one having a child together. I understand staying in in it for the kid.
I’ve read that staying in a toxic relationship with children is modeling for them their future relationships.
Maybe contact Jill and get some professional help with your situation.
Best regards
Strength and wisdom to you brother.
@@billtay1963 "...be there for him as much as possible..." Best thing you can do. Be a good supportive father. Talk to him. Educate him about how and why you act as you do. The more he knows the better decision he'll make about what kind of person he wants to be when that time comes.
Yep, She always nails it...What i find 'really' amazing though, is we KNOW who these people REALLY 'are'. Yet, We still seek them. lol We're talking about people that have ZERO chance of being kind, considerate, caring, joyful, loving etc. Being around them or in their mere presence is outright D I S T U R B I N G. Embarrassing...Pathetic
@@billtay1963 Prepare for the inevitable divorce. Get revenge by being successful financially. A narcissistic woman takes too much time, money, and energy that could be devoted to your financial success. I am vastly better off now than when I was married and she is mad as hell about it. My now grown children see right through her and tell her how wrong she is when she verbally trashes me. Your becoming a financial success or even a good steward of the money you earn will earn the respect of your children and negate her lies.
Abuse…It’s Not Just for Women!
There were so many warning signs I ignored - from friends, family, myself! I took the marriage plunge anyway. I thought pouring myself into the relationship, and losing myself in the process, would remedy everything. “We’ll get through this. One day we’ll look back and laugh at these struggles and challenges. After all, we had God on our side. And love covers a multitude of sins - right?!” I couldn’t have been more wrong.
For three years (thank God it wasn’t longer) I held on and tried to do all the right stuff to make it all work. I hunkered down in a room with a tornado. I could see the door, but refused to go through it. What I was doing was supposed to work! “I’m Phil Disney…I can get along with anyone. I can fix this, make it better. Just give it more time…more love…more understanding…more patience,” I said.
For a man (at least for me) the worst part about being abused is not the actual verbal or physical attacks. It was my own emotions - “I’m not good enough to make this relationship better. I can’t fix it. I’m failing!” As a result, my confidence spiraled. This relatively positive man, who believed he could, with God’s help, accomplish anything -difficult tasks; overwhelming challenges - was reduced to almost nothing.
And it was only getting worse. The abuse - both verbal and physical - came more often and more intense. And, for a minute, I refused to acknowledge it - until the day that I did. “That’s enough.” I said. “This game of ‘taking it for the team’ is over.”
And if you know me, you know how difficult that decision was.
It’s been over a year now, and I still have those thoughts and feelings of, “What could I have done differently that would have made my marriage work.” Guilt and shame cover me. I failed. I couldn’t make it better. I wasn’t good enough to fix it.
But then I realize that it never was about me. It was never about my love, my ability to connect, my commitment, my faith. It was simply a matter of another person refusing to do their part, live above their past, and invest in the present. Did I do everything right? Not in the least. I made plenty of mistakes. I often failed to react and respond appropriately - contributing to an ever increasing pile of unresolved and deeply rooted pains.
After all, fighting fire with fire is never the solution in a relationship - especially for a man. And so I learned. I learned to respond calmly, drop my defenses, and back away. But, unfortunately, that only made things worse. My calm demeanor was interpreted as a failure to emotionally engage and connect. This only increased her verbal and physical attacks. It’s as if she needed the intense emotional response.
Good relationships make you a better person. They work through the challenges and help sand off the rough edges. More importantly, they emphasize our qualities and virtues. They help make us into the person God intends for us to be. None of that was happening - on either side of the relationship. The bottom line - I was losing myself and the person I was supposed to be. And there was only one solution…
Walk away. Take that doorway out.
And when I did, surprisingly, the abuse stopped. When I did, that storm - that room with the tornado - suddenly ended.
Peace came back. Rest came back. Healing began. And I have resumed the journey to become the man God created me to be.
HEALING LOVE & LIGHT. WE ARE ALLONE! VICTORY TO THE DIVINE LIGHT. LOVE HAS ALREADY WON!
Walk out but what if she has your child? Leaving her with my child isn't a good idea either. Narcs shouldn't be left with your child
My experience was similar although it took me 11 years to be brave and so I had to leave my 2 beautiful young daughters. If I didn’t get out they were not going to have a father at all.
You have done the right thing and I’m sure your God is pleased. Marriage is only for when two people are in love and burning with desire for each other. Marriage is not for doing what you were lead to believe others expected you to do. I wish I had felt that same pressure from others towards divorce lol
Thank you for sharing your story. I am fascinated by how well you write. Are you a author if not you should be.
I don't usually go for the male perspective in situations like this but when you said you were a Godly man, I believed you. I am truly sorry you went through such trauma. I relate so well because I was with a sociopath for seven years and survived to tell me story.
Like you, I had no idea that some people aren't born with hearts. He ruined my relationship with my cousin and my sister. I found out he and my sister were communicating behind my back. (My cousin as well) He tried to make me believe no one loved me and we should kill ourselves. I saw evil in his eyes for the last time and it's been two weeks since I've responded to his email.
I believe our father shielded you by blinding her from seeing your worth because he's sending your true soulmate. May God bless you with overflowing love and ecstacy. You deserve it, especially after all you endured. It's time to be happy.
@@SA-iu7xj fortunately, we had no children together. When children are involved, it’s difficult. The narcissist will use them as leverage to keep you under his/her control. I suggest as little contact and communication as possible - even if he/she reaches out to you. Be very matter of fact with any and all contact. And above all, don’t get emotional!
Don’t allow the narcissist to bait you into any kind of conversation (text, email, face-to-face, etc.) - especially an argument. That’s exactly what they want. And they will try. So don’t be surprised when they do.
If it’s about the children - again, be matter of fact. A narcissist is so insecure. They respond to everything out of their insecurity with the goal of making them feel better by bringing you down to their level or below. Walk away from those encounters - fast!
Absolutely no contact (ever) if at all possible remains the best solution.
You just described my X wife love your videos , it helps me understand the abuse I lived through. Thank you and God bless
How right you are. I was married to the ultimate female narcissist for 10 years and she used every single trick you just spoke of on me. I was always a strong, dominant male (not in a bad way) who never thought this would happen to me. But I was head over heels in love with her, or so I thought. You didn't mention how some beautiful women, and she was know how to play someone because they've been practicing their whole life. And boy was she good at it! Now I'm living on disability because she took everything we had...(yes I was dumb enough to trust her and her family who were real estate agents) and I was working very hard to try and please her and take care of my elderly Grandma and wasn't keeping a good enough eye on our finances because I trusted her. I knew she had been seeing someone else but I wanted our marriage to work. But I got up to go to work one day and I kissed her goodbye and told her I loved her as always. When I came home that night she was gone and so was the land I was building a house on and my bank account (all $6 she left). I had a nervous breakdown and I drank heavily for a year and blamed myself. Then because I wasn't talking care of myself I had a bunch of other health problems. I just recently was diagnosed with complex PTSD. Any of you guys out there that might read this please listen...I don't care how good looking you are (all the women said I was) or how talented you are (I'm a songwriter/musician) or how good you treat them doesn't matter. You might hang on to them a little longer if you're rich but eventually they will do what comes naturally to them. Now Doctor, is there any cure for a narcissist women? Or man?
Iam getting verbally abused as I am watching this, no good morning, just what a P.O.S iam and i better have made some f**kn coffee! Thanks for sharing this to the world , most people dont understand !
Daniel, save every Penny you can and get out of this trap as soon as possible. It took me 10 years ( more difficult when you have children and don't want them to be deprived from comfort). But peace is at the end of the tunnel. It's worth it. Take care, and most of all, stop any kind of sincerity with the narcisist : just play a role, like your narc.
Iam saving up to leave iam disabled and don't get much money! Most of it go's to pay my house payment and dosnt leave much,but every penny gets me closer to freedom,thanks for the encouragement, not much of that found in my home😀
@@danielyoung31 It's a good start Daniel. The day you realize you are abused, half the path is already done. Peace and strengh to you.
Thank God , finally a therapist plugged into unbiased reality. Thank you!
This was my mother growing up. She had zero issues with physical abuse as well though, especially when I started getting a lot bigger than her as a teenager. She said no one would believe that she could hurt me, so hitting/slapping became normal. I haven’t seen her in 7 years. It’s the only way to stay sane.
She wasn't attacking you. She was trying to destroy some other male figure... I suspect.
Good to know 😃
My partner of 17 years is one of these things. Just found this out. Been played for 17 years, sick puppies these things.
Great information thanks. Am currently packing. Love and respect to all.
This is so my wife, took me a few years to realise but after numerous therapy I realised the change is short lived & the narcissism creeps back, over a period of years I adapted myself to avoid the abuse as much as possible & eventually became emotionally detached, left her 9 months ago & didn't look back.
Still struggling after more than a year. 4 years abuse, also physical. Encountered her at a concert last week with her oldest daughter and son in law, her flying monkeys. A middle finger in public, trying to trigger me, agression and a threat. I'm just so tired
"a healthy person wouldn't stay in a relationship out of guilt and obligation". If I follow through on that then there will be noone left in my life. To me relationships are only guilt and obligation. My therapist asked, "would you be sad if your wife left you?", I laughed and "sad!! I would be so happy and free". I think I have some stuff to work through
"You know what you did"
"You know all the reasons why we broke up"
"You are hurting me"
Trying to eliminate persons they perceive as "threats", for example your female friends if your narc is a female
Moving too fast at the start of the relationship (they talk about marriage and kids at the very start), want's you to move in with them within a month
Starting arguments out of nowhere
Extreme jealousy ( My ex gf started yelling at me at 1am over phone because she saw a girl sitting behind me on a beach and reading a book while we were on a video call earlier that day)
They are ALWAYS right, NEVER wrong
etc..
My Mother used to give my Father the silent treatment all the time, except when she was shouting and screaming at him !!!! My Mother gave me no love and affection. She was always telling me that everyone elses children were better than me !!!! She never had a Good word to say about me, even when I was seven years old and I was looking after her when she had Cancer !!!! All she did was complain that the meal wasn't quite right, or the butter wasn't defrosted enough !!!! When my Father died she started on me with her Evil Ways !!!! I told her I was not going to put up with her constant Nagging and I would kill her if she didn't shut up !!! Then she did something good for me !!!! She died and left me the House !!!! But I have no happy memories of childhood. Just never ending arguments and a life of Hell !!!! But now I'm 68 years old and have lived a Happy Life !!! I never got married, never had children, but I had loads of friends, I had Dogs as Companions !!! And I was able to live a comfortable life and I did not have to work hard !!! I took jobs like Security work at night which nobody wanted to do !!!! I was not interested in finding a partner !!! I had lots of girlfriends but after a while, when they realized that I was never going to marry any of them, they left me !!!!! But I didn't care !!!! I love my dogs but people always let me down !!! The people I know are always fighting amongst themselves, and my few Relatives hate me because they are jealous of me !!! In fact everyone becomes jealous of me, because I'm still single, I have 3 Motorbikes, X Box, Gaming Pc Flight Simulators, loads of tools etc. I can cook anything, Chinese, Indian, Italian, Southern Fried Chicken, Mexican etc. And I love being on my own, with loads of non fiction books on Kindle and classic fiction as well !!! I love keeping my mind active !!!! But all my married male friends are brain dead and can't even go to the toilet unless their wives tell them how to do it !!!! And they spend all their lives decorating their houses which they hate doing, whereas I can do anything I want to stay Happy !!!!
Yeah, the average American woman seeks to (figuratively?) castrate her man without even knowing why she seeks it, because she's been programmed to seek power and dominance by the 'programming' on the 'tell a vision.'
The irony of the situation is that you are now a massive catch of a man for any somewhat younger woman.
Give up carbohydrates, eat fatty meats (high-fat low-carb diet) and supplement magnesium & maybe vitamin D3, start working out & taking zinc also, drink bone broth eat liver ... Long story short, there are ways to get younger & you could reap the benefits of being your badass self...
VERY GOOD-----WAY TO LIVE
Wow what a story and your menu sounds fantastic. Glad everything worked out for you.
@@thelastgreatdevolutionary1044 Thanks !!!! Somebody else said what a long boring story !!! Some people are incapable of learning anything at all !!!! So they will have to learn the Hard Way !!!!
@@spaceted3977 Thus speaks a voice of experience. Great stuff Ted. However as unreliable and untrustworthy as the opposite sex might be, I find I still can't help loving them but that's my problem.
You are describing 99 percent of women I’ve known in my life including family members coworkers and the list go on
I am exposed to female narc at work. I avoid her like the plague as far as possible.
The same here.
I applaud you on your approach with this person. 👏🏼
Spent 25 years with a narcissistic woman and I going to test that a lot of these tactics are textbook. As someone who was married to a narcissist for 25 years I have first hand accounts of the gas lighting, silent treatment and accusations of forgetfulness. She even tried to convince me that I had an undiagnosed disorder for it. For those caught in a narcissist web, the only way to recover is to get away from it. These people are sick and don't know it. Even if they did, they accept or justify it. When you break the cycle they are at their worst because their supply of emotion and attention is threatened. It's like taking away their oxygen.
Four years ago we had an extremely toxic female colleague in our school. Even to this day, she’s still a common topic in our office just because of how abusive and two-faced she was to everyone.
Is her name Greta Zafforoni??😂😂
@@edwardl.990 Afraid not, but just like your person, ours is famous for her shitty behavior.
Delighted you stated its 50/50 as alot of women think its only a male thing.
OMG , went to an all female high school, worked in all female library, absolutely half and half.
This lady is spot on ive endured this for years all 5 broke me down and discarded me but im learning self love and understanding that's is not what i want for my life i created a person that never existed.
Thank you for this. I'm a man currently going through a divorce with my wife and I already went into the relationship with little self-confidence. I'm leaving with less. This video hit home. She always wanted me to "Be honest and be open" but every time I was... She made me out to me be "mean" or me just being an "a-hole". I just recently reconnected with a friend of almost 17 years and he told me that SHE was the reason he ghosted us. Towards the end of our marriage I went into a big depression... But now that the divorce is going through... I have friends again.... Videos like this prove that men can be abused too. I'm one of them. If anyone needs to talk... Reach out to me!
I’m not ashamed. I was moved to another state with a narcissistic woman who hide it from me until we were there. She became verbally abusive. Two years of that crap and I made ambush style escape. It was a beautiful escape. Left her before she knew what was happening.
Left AND changed the locks on her trifling behind, let her sort out the bulshit and them bills too. Lol
You are an American Hero ( especially to your inner self).
It's so amazing how I can look back at past relationships and see all those Narcassit traits I completely overlooked during my relationships that you are clearly pointing out in this video!
Other then getting away from a Narcassit the next best thing is knowing how predictable they are!
Great video Jill. I appreciate how you call things right down the middle. You are not partisan, not it at all, about which gender is worst. Thank you. For being so real, and honest. That's why we love you.🙏✝️💙 God bless
All abuse is psychological. Physical abuse generally occurs to reinforce the psychological abuse.
Don't think it has to be physical, or it's not abuse.