Politeness Theory

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  • Опубліковано 3 бер 2018
  • Politeness Theory and Face (Goffman and Brown & Levinson) can help us have difficult conversations and communication effectively. This video gives examples of how positive and negative politeness sound in a conversation.
    Free Download pdf Quick Guide to Professional Communication Skills:: www.alexanderlyon.com/
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    Politeness Theory and Face are based upon the work of Goffman and Brown and Levinson and have had a big influence on communication theory over the decades.
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    Communication Coach, this channel, helps rising leaders like you increase your impact and lead your teams with more excellence. The channel focuses on communication skills for leaders, presentation skills, group and team skills, and conversation skills. If you're looking for self-paced communication skills training, this is the channel for you.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 131

  • @alexanderlyon
    @alexanderlyon  6 років тому +3

    Try a Free short course in Essential Professional Communication Skills: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources

  • @DrJonTam
    @DrJonTam 2 роки тому +28

    Timestamps:
    1:03 Politeness theory: main premise
    1:25 Face: each individual has a desired self-image, a way we want to be seen
    2:07 Positive face needs: people want to be esteemed, admired, looked up to, and respected
    2:20 Negative face needs: People want to be free from imposition. We want autonomy to make free choices
    3:05 Positive politeness: to support positive face needs

  • @dinesha6063
    @dinesha6063 6 років тому +67

    Hi Alex, I am a Politeness researcher. You made Brown and Levinson's (1987) theory of politeness so simple and connected it with corporate setting so well. Congrats Buddy

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  6 років тому +11

      Hi Dinesh. Thank you for the encouragement. It's a tough balance on my channel. I'm trying ultimately to give professionals useful help they can put right into practice. BUT, at the same time, I really believe the theories in our field are really helpful and I really want to give professionals a taste for the ideas. If I were doing just a lecture video on just the theory/concepts, I'd do a much more in-depth treatment. All that to say, it's always a challenge to strike a balance and I appreciate your recognition of that effort. :-)

    • @dinesha6063
      @dinesha6063 6 років тому +4

      I agree with you on the complexity in transforming the theory into practice Alex, your effort is highly appreciated. You are doing good job, keep up!!!

    • @phanx0m924
      @phanx0m924 Рік тому

      Politeness researcher.... But politeness applicator 🤔?

    • @dinesha6063
      @dinesha6063 Рік тому

      Politeness research

  • @JosephRios_doulos_en_christos
    @JosephRios_doulos_en_christos 5 років тому +1

    It is good to understand from the converse. Sometimes people need their self-image broken so that they can receive information. This is helpful. Thank you for making this.

  • @YURI-vs7ps
    @YURI-vs7ps 4 роки тому +6

    I'm Japanese. I am a college student and learning Politeness Theory. I watched this video again and again! It really helped me to improve my English skill and understanding of Politeness Theory. Thank you for your kind instruction.

  • @mohammadrezayousefi8127
    @mohammadrezayousefi8127 3 роки тому +10

    Thank you for your great video! I'm studying linguistics and this matter was a bit vague to me. So THANK YOU for clarifying it this good! :)

  • @aghaone4977
    @aghaone4977 3 роки тому

    A very good and beautiful way of understand word by word with examples

  • @tingyingki
    @tingyingki 4 роки тому +3

    OMG you are the best teacher that I have ever seen. This video helps me a lot as I am doing my nursing assignment. Thx a lot and love u so much!

  • @CharleyvanderSalm
    @CharleyvanderSalm 4 роки тому +5

    you have a really soothing voice, which makes it very easy to follow your train of thoughts! keep up the good work, it's really helping me :)

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  4 роки тому

      Thanks for being so kind, Charley. :-)

  • @farihalinmahfuzoh9514
    @farihalinmahfuzoh9514 5 років тому

    Thankyou for sharing this video, it is helpful for me to present this topic!

  • @Mo-rf9ev
    @Mo-rf9ev 5 років тому +2

    Thank you for the explanation, sir.

  • @aghaone4977
    @aghaone4977 3 роки тому

    From my teacher side politeness is assin in linguistics class
    presentation on politeness so it's helped me to deliver my presentation own by my own words

  • @missellalovi
    @missellalovi 5 років тому +3

    Hi, Alex. Your explanation really helps me a lot in doing my politeness strategy research. Thanks!

    • @saradjedouani9831
      @saradjedouani9831 5 років тому

      Hey , i'm wonder if politness strategy and politness theory are the same!! I have the same project and i'm confused i didn't find sources and enough information about the topic

  • @spro5575
    @spro5575 3 роки тому

    It was really helpful I always used to prefer the second one but now I understand why the polite method is best

  • @franceslee9083
    @franceslee9083 5 років тому +5

    Hello Alex, it helps me a lot! I am in a hurry to finish this topic's question for my assignment within today!

  • @rababshahzad
    @rababshahzad 5 років тому +3

    Thankyou dude! You are a champ!!

  • @fortunatepuane1760
    @fortunatepuane1760 3 місяці тому

    Perfectly understood 💯👌keep feeding us with more and more of such content 🎉❤

  • @manusia9807
    @manusia9807 3 роки тому +1

    Help me a lot for my thesis, thank youuuu

  • @hindbouchair8469
    @hindbouchair8469 Рік тому

    Thank u so much for the explanation. That was very helpful.

  • @syifaullaili891
    @syifaullaili891 3 роки тому +1

    Hi, this explanation makes it easier for me to understand politeness theory, I think face is a facial expression, it is not, thanks coach

  • @hannahrobinson2260
    @hannahrobinson2260 5 років тому +1

    Thank you so much, I am in the middle of writing an essay on Language and Occupation and this theory briefly popped up but i couldn't really understand it. You really cleared it up.

  • @Error404xxx
    @Error404xxx 5 років тому +4

    As a bass player, I am happy to see a bass guitar in the background of this video

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  5 років тому

      Yes! A good bassline changes everything.

  • @Nachito721
    @Nachito721 5 років тому +4

    Thank you so much, this video is helping me to prepare my linguistics´s final exam. Vey nice work

  • @orhanbektas9184
    @orhanbektas9184 5 років тому +2

    Amazing how simple you explained the topic. Big thumbs up and a new subscriber from me.

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  5 років тому

      Thanks, Orhan. I'm glad it was helpful.

  • @BokehFilmStudios
    @BokehFilmStudios 6 років тому +1

    Great topic Alex! Good tips not just for leadership, but for every day situations!

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  6 років тому

      Thank you, Mike. I agree. Anybody can use these in conversations.

  • @user-uc3hh9gr7b
    @user-uc3hh9gr7b 2 роки тому

    Thank you very much.

  • @zedRMD1
    @zedRMD1 6 років тому

    This is so useful! It helped me to understand the lesson so fast! You have to be MY TEACHER!! thank you!

  • @aneszourgani7412
    @aneszourgani7412 6 років тому +2

    You're explaining way better than my Pragmatics teacher. Thank you!

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  6 років тому

      Sometimes it helps to hear the same ideas explained by more than one person.

  • @ltt3675
    @ltt3675 2 роки тому +1

    1:00 Politeness Theory Main Premise
    1:20 Notion of Face
    1:44 Face-threatening situation FTA
    2:01 2 Faces
    2:46 Requesting Examples

  • @hananjaber2374
    @hananjaber2374 5 років тому

    thank you so much

  • @idrisstn8044
    @idrisstn8044 5 років тому +4

    This video is really helpful, I'm currently preparing some presentation about face theory, thank you for the lesson coach.

    • @idrisstn8044
      @idrisstn8044 5 років тому

      What about face-saving theory coach?

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  5 років тому +1

      @@idrisstn8044 This is the only video I have related to that topic.

    • @idrisstn8044
      @idrisstn8044 5 років тому

      I want to know the difference between them, face and face-saving I mean

    • @Naz_Babar
      @Naz_Babar 3 роки тому

      How was the presentation?

  • @StephanieCorralArt
    @StephanieCorralArt 5 років тому +1

    I found your channel, looking for help with Goffman, but I wish more people in management could hear what you have to say. Good luck to you!

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  5 років тому +1

      Hi Stephanie. Glad the video was helpful. Ah, if we only had a magic wand for managers. Ha.

  • @shereenrizvi8620
    @shereenrizvi8620 5 років тому

    U made it so simple!
    Thank u so much💙

  • @Fatima-ji7hc
    @Fatima-ji7hc 3 роки тому

    Hello, thanks for the great explanations 🌸 would you please help me with a question? It's related to greeting words like "Hi" I know that it's a positive strategy but not sure in which sub category of positive politenes it can be considered. Do you have any idea ?

  • @nihelblm1025
    @nihelblm1025 4 роки тому

    Thank you

  • @Adym187
    @Adym187 2 роки тому

    Thanks for the topic today.. and could you mind to describe about what are positive and negative politeness and what about the parameter and instruments of politeness. And could you mind to give an example?

  • @dcrambishwasray8765
    @dcrambishwasray8765 2 роки тому

    God bless you sir for nice video

  • @samanthahernandez5105
    @samanthahernandez5105 3 роки тому

    So easy to understand. Thanks so much.

  • @kingoff5961
    @kingoff5961 5 років тому

    I will write in 4 days English test about the respectfully communication

  • @adilsingh5979
    @adilsingh5979 3 роки тому

    This was such a helpful video!

  • @papawiltion756
    @papawiltion756 3 роки тому

    thank you so much broww

  • @stara_5
    @stara_5 2 роки тому

    Hi. Please, can you tell me,from what literacy books can i find positive and negative politeness strategies which are used in tag questions. If you know, please tell me some. Thank you so much in advance .

  • @Noor-ib1id
    @Noor-ib1id 5 років тому

    Very clear thanku

  • @zahraal-faham3444
    @zahraal-faham3444 Рік тому

    Thanks for the amazing explanation 😊

  • @ning839
    @ning839 2 роки тому

    It's so useful

  • @JustinHunterTCM
    @JustinHunterTCM 2 роки тому +1

    I always feel like I'm giving up something when I am doing the negative face type. People seem to have a habit of lording over you their power, and it makes me feel weak to ask in such a way. Is there any way around this?

  • @alexanderlyon
    @alexanderlyon  6 років тому

    How could you use Politeness Theory and Face to shape your conversations?

  • @AlcibiadesJLobo
    @AlcibiadesJLobo 3 роки тому

    great video

  • @jasweenkaur3231
    @jasweenkaur3231 2 роки тому

    Hi there.. You are excellent. You made it so simple. I wanted to ask you something. Can u suggest a video that i can watch for finding politeness or impoliteness theory, eg. like a talk show aming a few people or a reality show? Thankz Sir.

  • @user-mm2fz2kx6v
    @user-mm2fz2kx6v 5 років тому +1

    perfect, coach

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  5 років тому

      Thanks, Mohammed. Glad it was helpful. 🙂

  • @ck6953
    @ck6953 3 роки тому

    impressive!

  • @rihzagalih2448
    @rihzagalih2448 4 роки тому +1

    Hi Alex, I am an undergraduate student, and I am in the process of composing my essay for my study. And I am concerning on politeness which makes me come here. Your video is very helpful for me. However, is it possible for you to give some explanation about 'off record' from brown and Levinson? I would be very appreciated it. 😀

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  4 роки тому

      Glad the video is helpful. At this point, I don't have any content for you on Off record." Sorry about that.

  • @devinaad8120
    @devinaad8120 4 роки тому +1

    Stating a limit works great for me in professional settings, but in some social settings I have come across few people who take offence to that and sometimes play deaf to that cue. I haven't found a great way to end such conversations.
    Also, i have come across few people, who start multiple threads of conversations to keep going. To wrap each thread becomes almost impossible. Most often one has to end them all abruptly. Would love to know better ways to handle this.

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  4 роки тому +1

      Good points. When all else fails, I just start packing up and getting ready to go on my talking turn. As long as I do it on talking turn, I've never had anybody act like I was being rude, even in social situations.

  • @Sammpo
    @Sammpo 6 років тому +1

    How is your battery life when filming video on Rebel T5i? How long does it last and can it load (be wired in) while recording?

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  6 років тому

      I'd say it last about 90 minutes but I usually put a fresh one in there before that. It might last a little bit longer. I just bought the t7i and I've heard the battery life on that is around 2.5 hours. Like most DSLR cameras, though, you can't record continuously for long stretches. It ends the file and starts a new file after about 12-13 minutes and will record up to 30 minutes total (clips strung together) before I'd have to stop and start recording again. As far as loading while recording, I'm not sure. Do you mean transfer the files to a computer while filming? I've never done it that way. However, I think some people use their DSLR cameras set up as webcams and record video directly to their computer. You'd need some software and a fast computer set up for that. It's a little involved but it would get around the 30 minute limit. When I have to do anything like that, I just use the Logitech C920 webcam. I looks good enough and super easy. I hope this helps. Congratulations on 6K.

    • @Sammpo
      @Sammpo 6 років тому +1

      Thanks for quick reply. I meant charging the battery while recording so you'd not have to worry about battery life, is that possible or does it not allow recording while its connected to power source?

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  6 років тому

      Okay. I see. No, it doesn't even have a power input like that. Batteries only. There are decently priced camcorders that do that, though. I almost bought a Canon that looked pretty good for the price, the Canon VIXIA HF R80. It's a popular choice. I'm not 100% sure if it can be plugged in while using it but the battery life is like 5-6 hours anyway. I can't personally recommend it because I don't use it but it might be a good starting place if you decide to go in the camcorder direction. Good luck on your purchase. I get so much anxiety about buying new stuff because I want to make sure it solves whatever problem I have. Most people will say that camcorders don't look as good as DSLRs for video but they do look pretty darn good nowadays. I hope you find a good solution.

  • @amymoorman3595
    @amymoorman3595 2 роки тому

    Hi, Great video Coach. May I ask how you would differentiate between Negative Face and Negative Politeness?

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  2 роки тому

      Hi, Amy. These are two sides of the same coin. Negative Face describes Person A's need to be free and autonomous. Negative politeness describes Person B's effort to avoid communicating in ways that could reduce or impose on Person A's sense of freedom and autonomy. "I'm sorry to ask this. I realize you are very busy but could you give me a ride to the store?"

    • @amymoorman3595
      @amymoorman3595 2 роки тому

      @@alexanderlyon Oh my gosh thank you for responding so quickly. I am a communication major and this had me stumped. Your video made sense and now I feel confident walking into class today having an understanding and a foundation on this topic. By the way I just told the whole class about your videos! Thank you again!

  • @ST3yo
    @ST3yo 2 роки тому

    Hi Alex, what would be some appropriate responses to someone who violates your positive/negative face needs?

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  2 роки тому

      Hm. Interesting question. I'd have to say that there's no one set way to respond to that since there are lots of ways people can be impolite to us. I'd have to give that some more thought before answering.

  • @elhamheydarian9377
    @elhamheydarian9377 4 роки тому

    hi, thank you for your information, you make it easier for understanding, is it possible to have some examples of positive and negative politeness?

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  4 роки тому

      Negative Politeness: "I know you are really busy. Feel free to say no. But, I was wondering if you'd be willing to . . ."
      Positive Politeness: "You're the best person I can imagine for this project. I was wondering if you would be willing to . . ."

    • @elhamheydarian9377
      @elhamheydarian9377 4 роки тому

      @@alexanderlyon thanks a million times

  • @sachinrusetra7951
    @sachinrusetra7951 3 роки тому

    Thnx

  • @ezabelbush4367
    @ezabelbush4367 6 років тому +1

    besides your elequent explanations you are so attractive as a person

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  6 років тому

      Thank you, Ezabel. That is very kind of you.

  • @gepisar
    @gepisar 4 роки тому

    4:30 ive only just learned that this phenomenon has a name : "politeness theory" and face-threatening. Yet in the example, where "they" approach the salesman with "Youre our top performer [you work hard/we appreciate/respect that] (however/and/but) we DO have to ...." I get so pissed off when people approach me like this. It comes across as totally disingenuous and self serving, in a way i'd prefer the brutal approach; "yo! get your expenses under control". The other approach seems disingenuous because "Brad" has no "NEED" nor impetus to "HAVE" to do anything. Its akin to that i horrible phrase "I NEED YOU TO..." its a demand thinly disguised as a request and i think most people go along with it to avoid conflict, but it seems to build up long term resentment. A salesman worth his salt would reply "ONE OF the best? Who is performing better than me then?" See, this inference is planted but smoke screened so as to not be challenged, but inherently accepted if the conversation moves into expenses. Further, this approach also irks me because the approach says "we appreciate you", but then come at "Brad" in a way that clearly demonstrates otherwise. And now... if i were "Brad", the trust is this relationship is suddenly up for question.... its now clear, they are just saying words to reach their needs, but they have framed it and projected it as "Brads" needs...
    I know this is an example of what the implementation entails... and this is a 6 min video on a complicated thing... (and there is me "face-saving"!) ;-) Imma check out more of your vidz though, This is the first i landed on...

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  4 роки тому

      I hear where you're coming from, gepisar. You're making sense. I'm only trying to explain the concept/theory well, which I sense you can appreciate is my goal. If it helps, try this example instead. Picture that you are making a request of an old boss (who you know is very busy) to ask the boss for a recommendation letter for a new job. In that situation, it would be good to use some sort of politeness (either positive or negative) to either explain how valuable your ex-boss's help would be because you respect him/her and he/she knows your work very well (that's positive politeness) or you could explain how you realize that he or she is very busy and that you understand if the deadline is too show but that you would like to request a letter of recommendation (negative politeness). So, pretend you're asking somebody who out ranks you and see if it the concept resonates more.

    • @gepisar
      @gepisar 4 роки тому

      @@alexanderlyon ah ha!! Hey there! I appreciate the fast response (to an "old" video in internet years) Since i posted, ive read about politeness theory and the five approaches. (Yes, of course, cramming in such a large topic in 6 mins is nigh on impossible; but the basis and principle was made very clear.)
      Its interesting about "rank" also. Power-Distance, Social-Distance... (did you read "On Killing" by Dave Grossman)
      One model i do like is the NVC model and how to couch requests in terms of "Only if it makes life more wonderful". (So, he example would be, "hey boss, got a minute... im going for this endeavour/job thats going to make my life wonderful in the following ways.... and it meets my needs in the following way, and IF helping me along this endeavour would meet any of your needs would you be willing to.....")
      So, yeah, since i left the comment i learned superficially about :-
      Honorifics
      Bald On Record…(direct instruction)
      Positive Politeness (supporting face) - live up to reputation
      Negative Politeness (dont want to impose)- can you do this that is below you?
      Indirect off record (implication)
      total avoidance
      I guess its a personal thing, but i really dont like making assumptions. So, with the ex-boss, "valuable" is a judgement, "being busy" is a judgement (and sometimes can be interpreted as meaning "not managing things well") {Reminds me of a story.... when i was 10 years old i was invited to a friends house for his birthday... his mum had baked a cake and i said. "Wow.. ill bet that didnt take you long!" as an implied compliment of being highly skilled at baking and competence in decorating... of course... thats not how it was taken}
      Respect (and "pride") i also struggle with. I mean, i might respect my ex-boss and his time, but not enough to NOT interrupt him asking for a reference letter!! (It seems a contradiction and then disingenuous; "I respect your time, but im imposing on it right now!")
      Hmm... im glad i found your video, the "theory" has explained a bit more about social dynamics; theres so much to piece together - NLP, NVC, cognitive stacks, preferred rep systems... (and HUMBLEBRAGS!) lol! Its endlessly fascinating. And then there are UFCs (Up Front Contracts - Sandler System) -
      What is explained is an apparent difference is region attitudes. (Im from the UK) So, in London and the South-East people operate more on a "tit for tat" basis. Ill scratch yours, you scratch mine; favour for a favour. Whereas "UP North" (Typically more "blue collar worker") there is less of a reciprocal nature about things, but a more active participation of altruism ("IF its within my power, Ill do that for you") without expectation of anything in return.
      If nothing else, just knowing about "differences" is sometimes just enough to bridge the gaps!
      Interesting stuff... imma browse your video library!!

  • @Xerine001
    @Xerine001 4 роки тому +1

    Really helpful explanation of content. I find the background music distracting and difficult to focus on your content which requires concentration.

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  4 роки тому +1

      Sorry for that. I don't use background music in my newer videos.

    • @Xerine001
      @Xerine001 4 роки тому

      @@alexanderlyon you are very kind! no worries at all! may not bother anybody else. : )

  • @nhunhu3629
    @nhunhu3629 9 місяців тому

    can we self face threaten and self save ourselves?

  • @aghaone4977
    @aghaone4977 3 роки тому

    Nice i real like

  • @nazeerahmed1563
    @nazeerahmed1563 Рік тому

    Good love from Pakistan

  • @lucusinfabula
    @lucusinfabula 3 роки тому

    Experienced acrymonious implications to the style of a MasterClass commercial with Samuel Jackson superfly at 0:11; because it was associated to willful outreach for information with the suggestion that it was misguided because of quasi-certain anonymity of the Source in question, relative to celebrity coaches. Not 'bon ton'; might be kasher.

  • @lesdelicesdekamoucha5407
    @lesdelicesdekamoucha5407 2 роки тому

    Comment faire pour avoir la traduction en français

  • @karanmehta3781
    @karanmehta3781 3 роки тому

    Maybe if I passed the deadline and I have not done the work, instead of giving excuses, we can use this politeness theory

  • @salisadalfa8783
    @salisadalfa8783 4 роки тому

    What's the instruments of politeness?

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  4 роки тому

      Can you rephrase that? I'm not sure I know what you mean.

  • @lucusinfabula
    @lucusinfabula 3 роки тому

    Polite to speak as eloquently as possible, if very precise is possible (esp. jargon). That's an angle.

  • @NIKI-sd1pl
    @NIKI-sd1pl 8 місяців тому

    my defense is about to start at 6 hours and my research is all about Politeness Strategy >,

  • @astumahayana
    @astumahayana 5 років тому +1

    The expressions of negative politeness are more polite than the positive one. How come they call it negative politeness?

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  5 років тому +1

      It's called negative because the politeness is attempting to reduce the negative imposition a request or other action might cause. It's trying to mitigate the downside.

  • @shahdzul3483
    @shahdzul3483 Місяць тому

    I still cant diffrentiate between the two :(

  • @professional2104
    @professional2104 2 роки тому

    I am getting a feel that negative face can be used for more arrogant personalities and positive face can be used for humble personalities.

  • @ahmadadhy6772
    @ahmadadhy6772 6 років тому

    Is it positive face and positive politeness is same?

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  6 років тому

      Positive face is what we desire (how we want others to see us and treat us) and positive politeness is the communication we use to support those face needs.

    • @ahmadadhy6772
      @ahmadadhy6772 6 років тому

      Communication Coach Alex Lyon so it is different each other, right?

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  6 років тому

      Yes, but only a little. Two sides of the same coin.

    • @user-mm2fz2kx6v
      @user-mm2fz2kx6v 5 років тому

      coach Alex if we have a positive politeness we already have negative politeness ?? so how we can distinguish between them ????????

  • @ishafatima-xp7ff
    @ishafatima-xp7ff 4 місяці тому

    😀😀

  • @petepete8888
    @petepete8888 4 роки тому

    Whos watching in 2020???

  • @EYEBALLKLOTT
    @EYEBALLKLOTT Рік тому

    Lying on any one isn't the right way to be polite and would lead to a cement wall along the way.
    MANY MORE of them before Texas reaches good neighbor squids, donelly fishing raw ceviche.

  • @marwar819
    @marwar819 8 місяців тому

    First example was kiss @ss BS. Overkill.

  • @at0micRectum
    @at0micRectum 4 роки тому

    politness lessons from a narcissist?
    hahaha
    hahahahahaha
    ha...
    ...