Bisexuality: The Invisible Letter "B" | Misty Gedlinske | TEDxOshkosh
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- Опубліковано 21 січ 2019
- Perception is everything. It impacts our public image, as well as our personal relationships. Being open about one's orientation is a risk, but one that can pay off by living a fully authentic life. Visibility can break down stereotypes, eliminate shame and secrecy, and create accessible, realistic representation and role models.
Misty Gedlinske is a Fond du Lac, Wisconsin resident originally from Asheville, North Carolina. She received her Associate of Applied Science degree in Leadership Development from Moraine Park Technical College in May 2018, and will transfer to UW-Green Bay in August to pursue her B.A.S. degree in Nonprofit Leadership. Her professional career includes over a decade in local government administration as a Municipal Clerk.
She is the founder of Fond du Lac Pride Alliance, a community outreach effort connecting local LGBTQ+ individuals and their allies with services, resources, and welcoming organizations. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
"I picked a partner. Not a side"
So important
I nearly cried at this part, it is just so true💖💜💙
Facts
@Georgette Petrova Good call. I have this image as a profile pic since ever, but I'm still obsessed with this manhua _-_
that was the PRIMARY takeaway from this imo
that was heart warming to hear.
"I PICKED A PARTNER NOT A SIDE"
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
Tante Lena gas spoken
Preach
You mean: THE PEOPLE TAKING IT IN THE BACK
XD
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE WHO FELL ASLEEP
I don't think love is an option , I think its just there. I don't think you can just stop loving someone. You don't really have an option? I don't know...
I laugh so hard when people call bisexuals confused. I've never been less confused. It was when I thought I was straight but was inexplicably attracted to men that I felt confused.
LOL..so you actually WERE confused. You're confused about being confused.
@@Rage_Harder_Then_Relax confusception
I’m not confused about my bisexuality...I’m just confused as to why people question us
@@kaimikalaniYT They generally don't believe bisexuality exists and that we are "one or the other".
Or if they trust our statement, they still say we aren't loyal, or that we're promiscuous.
I’m pan and I agree so much. I used to be bi and I was so confused.
where are my closeted Bi's at? 💖💜💙
@@MistyGedlinske I came out two days ago!
I'm here!
Bi daughter of christian parents✌️
@@Smartie-tk8nq yup same
Waddup my Bi's!! 👋👋🌈
"I picked a partner, not a side." WHOOO THIS
Crystal Eidson who dat b
A non binary person yay! 😃👍
1
Question is how did youtube know I was bi before I did
Crazy Cat Lady Bi-Fi reception?
It really isn't that weird, you don't have access to swaths of demographic data and a whole department of statisticians at your disposal.
Misty Gedlinske I CACKLED HAHAHA
i wish i had the gaydar of YT
buzzfeed knew before i did
Her saying “a different gender” instead of “the opposite gender” is such a small thing but it’s so wonderful to hear this kind of language be normalized
Colleen McKibben Yes! Thank you for picking up on that. Gender is not binary, nor is bisexuality.
@Jake Dean nah
Luise Naa I’ll thank you to take your transphobia elsewhere. It is not welcome here. To take your tired punchline to its conclusion, at least helicopters are allowed to serve in our military.
@@ellanaa9464 While I do agree that Transphobia is not not believing in more than two genders, I disagree on your statement about Trans people not being allowed in the military. They aren't allowed because Trump didn't want them in the military.
@Jake Dean I agree, genetically there are only 2 genders.
If only everyone was as understanding as this women.
Candzee Kitu Thanks, Candzee. I hope you’re well.
Misty Gedlinske I never though the actual person in the talk would respond lmao
@@shgh2695 what do you mean by the clown emoticon?
Chloe Morgan you are a clown
Chloe Morgan “Hate doesn’t come from religion, it comes from fear.”
Most annoying thing friends say when you say you're bi. "Wait. You're not attracted to me are you?!" No. What have I ever done to make you think that? Nothing. Yet one statement makes you think about me hitting on you? really?
Knightly Scarlet Yep, there’s a lot of projected insecurity and arrogance in those kinds of comments.
I'm happy because when I told a few friends they were like "oh, okay, cool." What a lovely thing to say ammiright haha
This!! One of the reasons I'm really worried to tell some of my religious friends.
i literally told a kid from school im bi and he pointed to some random girl and said "sO yOuRe AtTrAcTeD tO hEr????!!1!??"
like
no
Right?! I think I'm more picky about who I'm attracted to than a lot of straight people.
Shy, bi and ready to cry🥺💕
Ellie u need a hug fellow bi 🤗🤗🤗🤗
mood
This really spoke to me
Ellie cry in my arms 💖
Here, queer, and ready to wipe tears.
I’m bi, I’ve got a boyfriend, and yes. I picked him. Not because he’s a boy but because he’s what I was (am) looking for. I’m not more likely to cheat, I don’t need a girlfriend as a girl to be valid as an lgbt member. Thank you.
not enough women into women out there huh girl
PERIODT👏🏾
Take your meds man.
_LOL!!_
👏🏻
PREACH
I’m closeted but I swear my recommendations know what’s up
Edit: Nearly a year later from when I commenting this I’ve come out to friends
💖💜💙 Happy pride you guys!
EDIT: its 2021 so its now nearly 2 YEARS since I posted the original comment (I always get more engagement during pride month lol) and I have yet come out to family. Maybe youll hear from me again when I do because Ive been thinking of coming out to family ❤️🏳️🌈 FUTURE ME HEY HAVE YOU DONE IT I HOPE U HAVE
edit: (3 years since the original post) MUHAHAHAHA YES I HAVE!!! SOME FAMILY KNOWS AND IT WAS VERY FUNNY BC THEY WERE ALL LIKE "YEAH I HAD A FEELING YOU WERE"
Same...
SAME
Same
bruhhh sAMEEE
Same
FINALLY someone who explains it in a correct way, and she didn't say that bisexuality is binary i love her
oikawadorable Thank you! When teaching this concept to folks who stumble over “Bi means two,” I tell them that the “two” is same and different. Gender is absolutely a spectrum, not a binary. Individual attractions vary, but there is space for all within the scope of Bisexuality.
@@MistyGedlinske yes! so many people can't understand that, even some bisexuals themselves. Anyways i really enjoyed your TEDtalk, thank you for giving us a voice
I guess that I like you man
Misty Gedlinske you are a star
You can also say that the two in reference are for binary and non binary people.
im open about my orientation but the people in my walking life pretend its not there or that im just being ridiculous. i dont care about that though. thank you for this video, as a fellow bi.
Max Winters You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
This is so true, I feel the same way when people who don't know who I really am laughs it off as joke or simply ignore this about me
Max Winters open? Really? I never would have guessed you were bi, maybe you could make it a bit obvious and put it in your profile
@@RK-ep8qy im sensing a hint of sarcasm :P
Max Winters 😆
“I fall in love with the soul before the body.” -Magnus Bane, Shadowhunters.
Cheree Porter awwee
This might sound weird but this show has made me realise that i'm bi...
Okay maybe i wanna cry rn
I’m so sad that the show ended!!! Part of me realizing I was bi was being attracted to Jace, Clary, Isabelle and Alec all at the same time 😩
I love him so much!!! Awwwww! He (his character) really really helped me to figure out who I was, and who I like!
“Isn’t it better to be invisible than to be demonized?...” 😩💔 I understand this all too well being a pastors kid!!
Lindsey Ramirez I see you. I wish you all the best.
Stay strong💕
I fully understand you with this, I too am a pastor's kid. We'll get through it though. We have each other to lean on when things get tough
This hits home because my mom is a pastor too.
I have to hide the fact that I am vegan because when people know they use to treat me very differently in comparison to when they didn't know yet. It feels so bad.
As a bi teenager... thank you. Every word struck a chord with me. I’m in the middle of the coming out process and thankfully I haven’t had anyone react negatively, but I’m worried about what will happen if I’m publicly out.
Nightslash360 You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed this Talk. 40-year-old Me was less scared than Teenage Me, but it was still a huge step. Take time if you need to, and I wish you all the best.
ME TOO! Part of my family knows and some friends, but there are some people who I am just terrified to tell. I just keep hearing the "it's just a phase" repeating in my head, even if I know that its not.
I've always liked both sexes and I don't care what people think
Nightslash from reading your post I guess you're American ?
Keith Mahoney, No. Not both sexes. All sexes.
she has such an amazing and beautiful voice! She should become an audiobook narrator or something. Also, she seems like such a wonderful person, I love her! Thank you for your talk!
hallo Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed this.
@@MistyGedlinske Well i wonder how well your voice carried in that auditorium, since in this vid i have the volume cranked up all the way and i still can't hear you well, i'm going to have to plug in the headphones to understand what you're saying.
Jerome Potts I’m sorry. That’s an issue for the sound technicians, and unfortunately outside my control. I sometimes have trouble with sound levels, too.
Saaaame, I love her voice
@@MistyGedlinske I love your voice
"Sometimes, it starts a little voice in your head that says: "I'm just going to stay quiet because isn't it better to stay invisible than to be demonized.I don't mind being mislabelled,if it means that I am not going to be seen defective or lesser".That voice, can get really, really loud.Please don't listen to it.That way lies self-hatred and it will eat you alive.It's not true, it's not fair and nobody deserves it."
i've had this little voice in my head for a few months and let me say...that was the worst period in my life so far. so please never listen to it. I took a lot of big decisions and still have a long way to go by telling everyone that im bi.I even told my male crush i liked him which sadly was not received well,but you deserve love and will get it one day by finding a partner!
It's crazy that she put this invisible feeling into words
Wren Lorraine I tried, anyway. I hope it helped you. Thanks for watching.
6:25 The fact that she said 'Bisexuals are indecisive' and 'going through a phase' really hits close to home because this is not only said to me by people who are straight but also those from the LGBTQ+ too. I mean yeah I get where your coming, but what I don't understand is why can't I love who I want to love if I accept who you want to love. Can't it be enough if I say I like both male and female the way you like them too? Am I not allowed to say that guys are cute while I am in a relationship with a girl? I know that LGBTQ+ is accepting but sometimes I still get negative hate from both sides of the spectrum
TypicalBookworm: Eve You are allowed, and it is enough. Not because I said so, but because it’s true. You are whole and valid as you are.
TypicalBookworm: Eve I think we need to adopt the ideas of the Ancient Greeks in love. There are so many different types of love.
Whenever I say I’m bi my friends say that I’m not. That I just think someone of the opposite gender is attractive and that just because I think that, doesn’t mean I’m bi. I don’t understand why I can’t just be bi. Like I already feel like an imposter all of the time and doubt myself with everything which is why I didn’t know I had anxiety until now. I kept thinking I was making it up and it would pass. What if I just want a relationship with a guy or girl? Like why can’t I say that and people just be cool with that instead of saying I’m confused or asking me to prove it by stating how I feel when I look at a girl I think is attractive? It frustrates me that they feel the need to fight me on something I find true about myself. Sorry that was a lot to dump on the internet
Meera Singh Hi, Meera. I see you. You’re allowed to be bi, not that you need anybody’s permission. Sounds like they’re the ones who are confused.
Misty Gedlinske thank you ❤️ you made my night
i fee invisible almost everyday and for the first time in 17 minutes i felt comprehended even it as just by a screen. Than you.
María José You’re so welcome. I see you, and you are valid.
That's awesome
So let it help you 💪🏻
Me too
I love when she describes the difference between "privacy" and "secrecy". I couldnt quite put my finger on it but it's exactly the clarification i needed to hear
Same here. Have been thinking about this lately.
I know it as well. Hearing her talk had calmed me down. Despite all that happens in my life, I'm gonna be OK.
I feel so bad. She’s so funny but no one is laughing and making awkward silence
are you saying that she talking about being bi is a joke? i hope i got it wrong or else i'll be seriously disgusted. when she actually makes a joke people laugh so idk why you said that, she made jokes (i think) two times just so the speech wouldn't be so serious.
SockyAnimatics I don’t think so... they’re pointing out the fact that it was a quiet crowd when she DID make jokes
@@norahgilbert1679 but people did laugh at her jokes. i feel like the comment indeed was mockery.
@@yunmis1300 not really when compared to most ted talks
@@yunmis1300 no, there were quite a few times when (I feel) she was attempting humour but it wasn't well-received by the audience.
Despite being bi, I "straight-pass" almost everywhere to avoid judgement or discrimination...
InventorZahran 327 I understand that practice. I did too, for a very long time. All my best to you.
Same
same, after 4 years, I began saying it to only a few people, some of them saying that "I can find a person of the same gender pretty, doesn't mean you are into them" and it really hurts how hard it is to be judged as if you are saying nonsense..
I know this was from a long time ago but there’s no such thing as being straight passing most people in the world are either assume to be straight or cis.
invisi*BI*lity
bicthalis i love bi puns
I like it.
Yes
from the bottom of my heart, thank you for those words
Julia H.E.D. You’re welcome.
Misty Gedlinske Thank You!!!
Thank you for reminding me of the difference between privacy and secrecy
Mathew Hart You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed.
My girlfriend sent me this. I have always tried and searched for ways so that she feels comfortable and safe. But most importantly seen, cause since we’re both women I don’t want her to feel mislabeled by me. So this is so useful and definitely helps me understand her and support her more. It was an amazing video
Dalicahe I’m glad you enjoyed, and hope this helps you.
My wife sent it to me and it really helped me, too
my girlfriend also sent me a link to this video. This talk is so on point, I understand Bi's and their situation and thinking much better now. Thank you very much!!
I'm trying to work up the courage to send this to my gf so thank you for sharing your reaction... Have a lovely day :)
💖💜💙 “Picked a partner, not a side.”
I thought I was straight till I was 22 because of all this. People kept telling me 'it didn't count' made out with a girl, nope, had a massive crush on my female friend, nope, ect.
SAME!!
Giving this comment a like would feel wrong.
“There is no deadline or expiration date on your truth” 💕
but a lot of people don't like your truth so you better get a man while you can
The truth is that your "truth" isn't the truth
God's Truth trumps over what people 'think' to be true. God's Truth vs. your 'truth'. You will lose that battle 100% of the time.
@@mikedewalt697
Oh dear, why do you project your own mistakes on normal people?
"It can be really difficult to turn your powers off -- even if you really want to." As femme bi woman, it is soooo hard to get other women to notice you're hitting on them and not just being friendly.
Jordan Sullivan oof hi it’s true
Can you please explain what femme bi is?? I'm sorry I don't know but I'm very curious about it?
@@misakichan6723 feminine Presenting bi women :)
I recently, at 21 years old came out as bi and I had no clue of the problems facing our community. It makes me want to bring everyone into a giant hug and let them know they are accepted for who they are
I am 20 years old and...probably going to be in the same boat soon
I'm 21 and I came out as trans and bi 2 months ago. It feels fantastic to finally be seen as the person I truly am, I've been depressed and suicidal for way too long.
This video just popped up in my recommended and damn, did I need to hear it. I feel like a stranger in my house after coming out to my mom who’s made me feel ashamed of who I am. Being bi is something I struggled with for years and when I finally got the courage to say it out loud, I told my BF who’s wonderful and loves me for me, but my mom just doesn’t seem to understand. I’ve been told by her not to tell my other family members because she doesn’t think it’s important. This video has opened my eyes. I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but telling my other family IS important and they deserve to know the version of me that makes me proud to be myself. ❤️
My mom and dad said to me that I'm going through a phase... I almost broke down in tears.
@@redalpha2392 I'm sorry to hear that...i truly feel that no one else has the right to try to tell you who you are or aren't - it's such disrespect at the most basic level and it's not okay to say. Hugs xx
Ellie Rutt same here I’m sorry your mom has not accepted you yet I hope she does soon good luck though
"Be visible first and foremost to yourself." Chills. This was really needed and really beautiful.
Olivia Haglund thanks, Olivia. I’m glad you enjoyed.
Ah ok, lesson learnt. Bisexuals are superheroes.
Well we try!
aww, You too :)
we are superheroes with super powers!
Nah, I use my invisibility to commit crimes
Hello bi guys and gals, to avoid staying invisible to each other, wear the bi colors/flag on a piece of jewelry(like a bracelet). Lets make this trend popular, so we don’t necessarily need to scream attention to ourselves, but we can still identify each other as sources of strength (or even potential partners, haha).
Comment on any other ideas.
Honestly! I'm about ready to make a lil ring right now 😂
Love this!! Had the same idea for years! We need more people to do that :))))
Exactly what I thought of after seeing this video and reading on bi erasure on reddit for a few days. We need to be visible not only for ourselves but also to others to set the simple standard that we exist.
*[FeelsRestricted]* Honestly that is a great idea
But what if biphobic people get to know about this trend and start attacking us.
Some things you don’t even realize you’re struggling with, and your words made me feel okay and empowered. We exist and i strive to not be invisible anymore
lily jacqueline We absolutely exist! All the best to you.
“The only person you’re obligated to save... is You.”
48 years underwater.
I began the painful process of surfacing a few months ago.
Until now my wife was the only one who knew.
Three days ago I had a hard conversation with my 22 year old daughter. Today my weight feels lighter.
I’m an infant learning how to speak about what I have felt for decades. Thank you so much for giving me these words and this language.
You’re so very welcome.
wow that final line - "the only person you're obligated to save is you" - brought tears to my eyes. What an articulate, amazing person.
Matil D Thank you so much. I’m glad you enjoyed.
Stumbled across this and felt every word in my soul. Thank you for a beautifully spoken, intelligent and compassionate speech.
❤💜💙 🏳️🌈
Amanda Garvey You’re quite welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
She has a magic voice. Whatever she says I could listen to for hours ....she would be great in “voice therapy”.
“I picked a partner, not a side” - my heart feels free hearing someone say it for me.
Not confused, not a phase, who i am.
Thank you!
Who you are is a sinner who does not want to repent. I'm a sinner who repents. Now you know the big difference from a pagan and a Christian
MIKE DEWALT what is wrong with you?!
@@lizzy1084 Absolutely nothing.
homophobes are rampant
I wanted to say thank you for this talk. You are right about how heavy the invisibility burden is. It felt like a weight off my shoulders once everyone who mattered in my life knew about my bisexuality and I didn't realise just how much hiding my true self was affecting me until I came out. It's content like this that helped me at the time so i know there are people out there that have benefited from your courage to share your story. xx
Rararae x Thank you so much!
Like 450 is me.
“I picked a partner, not a side.”
Yes!! Thank you!
Bi people are the sweetest people you can ever meet, but we get the most hate from straight and LGBT+ people🤕😢. Also crikey this lady is very good and Imma go send this to all the people I'm out to who don't understand bisexuality.
Seb 713 thankyouuu.
Rookielove1 Sure, but a lot of people don't think that bi people are serious in romantic pursuits, believing them to be confused, indesisive (English🎉) or just going through a phase. We call that erasion or biphobia and it's mean.
Edit : just saw the family part, idk I can't speak for those people, I have never known anyone to want to date a family member.
Oh wow. I was at a straight country western bar and i got a crush on a girl there who looks VERY butch and after we fast danced she reached out to grab my hand. So i was drinking a bit to get my courage up to go up to her which i did like 4 times. Now there's this guy i knew from around town i've been chasing too. Gave him my ph number at least 3x and he never called. So he was at the bar too. I was telling him that i had a crush on K___ and gave her my ph number, but she never called me. I then said, "um , you never called me either. " I was like crushing on two different sexes at the same time! He took it all in stride when i said i liked that girl. I was asking him imfo about her and he was telling me. Anyway,, don't get drunk if you are bi cuz ya never know what you will say to people!
Not dating a bi person on the basis just not being attracted or interested is fine. Not dating them on the basis of *them being bi*... is biphobia.
Heyiya-if
No it’s not. Lmao! People don’t have to date bi people if they don’t want to. Why can’t bisexuals date bisexuals? Date your own people ffs instead of guilting other people into why they aren’t dating you.
I have never felt more acceptance and understanding towards my bisexuality than in this moment. Thank you.
Emily Lizotte You’re so very welcome.
Her voice is so soothing
Anime Unknown Thanks. My kids have a very different opinion!
I need advice.
I really needed this. I repeatedly chose not to say anything we people assume I’m straight. But then would feel bad when I say I have a crush on someone (sometimes girls) and people assume I’m talking about a men. It feels like I’m not being honest but I’ve managed to convince myself that is not too important. It actually is. I guess is part of accepting myself for who I am.
Thank you.
Im asexual and romantic and I hear my parents asking me if I have any crushes or if I like anyone. I am too scared to come out to them but I hope with time I can. I hope that your loved ones will except you ❤💚💜
God is more important.
@@mikedewalt697your comment made me puke just now ngl
@@yunmis1300 Of course..because you are a weak thin-skinned person
@@mikedewalt697 doesnt God hate the sin, but not the sinner?
This is such a good message ro here. I am 14 and Bi, luckily in my family, friend group and school are very accepting environments. But i have worried about how i will be accepted out in the world.
Arwen Joy If your friends and family accept you, that’s an excellent start. Be proud. When you are out in the world, the right type of people won’t even care.
Stick around people who love you for who you are
Also hang with friends who inspire you !! Best of luck and don't worry. It's gonna be fine 🗽
If they accept you, that's all that truly matters
"Identity is not taboo." Throughout this video Misty hit nail after nail right on the head. It was impressively accurate.
I couldn't pick a person based on something as gender, I need the right personality, and gender doesn't guarentee the right one.
SashyGryphyth I’m glad this Talk spoke to you!
The only person you’re obligated to save is “You”
"The only person your obligated to save...is you" honestly I needed this
Paula H I’m glad it was there for you.
@@MistyGedlinske thank you for replying omg😍. I hope you know this ted ed gave me the spur of the moment courege to come out to my family as bi. It's been such a breath of fresh air, that I was forcing myself to drown out. So soooooo many thanks to you💛💛💛.
"And her fangirl crushes,y'all let me tell ya,on certain British celebrities can be seen from s p a c e"i feel ya girl. i feel ya
Jellby Fish The purple shirt was an intentional choice 😉
Great talk! Clear, informative, compassionate... THANK YOU so much for this. As someone who's spent the last 12 years of her life trying to educate people on bisexuality (I co-run a blog, FB page and IG profile in Italian on bi-pan visibility), I can't praise you enough for bringing this subject to TED. So many people are still suffering from the consequences of bi invisibility and erasure. Will do my best to share this video as much as I can.
Francesca Bellan I’m honored! Thank you so much!
hey :) i would like to follow you, whats your blog called?
"If for right now you only feel comfortable or safe whispering the truth to yourself say it anyway."
That is a very powerful statement.
She made me cry at least 3 times in just 17 minutes. I feel shook. I feel seen. I feel understood. I feel encouraged. I feel loved.
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much for making me realize how important it is to not let myself think that I am just confused. That I should acknowledge the fact that this is who I am. I am not just stuck in a phase, and that choosing to be with a person either of the opposite or same gender, does not nullify my bisexuality.
Rovieter Geek Thank you so much for your comment. I’m so glad you enjoyed the Talk. You are real and valid and absolutely enough.
Rovieter Geek Bisexuality also encompasses non-binary gender-nonconforming folks. You may hear otherwise but such things are not true.
Misty Gedlinske Actually in my current high school, we were asked to conduct researches of our own. I chose to make a research that focused on gender stereotyping and gender conformity. I wish I’d seen this sooner. It would have been a great contribution to the researcg
Rovieter Geek 💗💜💙
This is a good talk, meany things she is saying could easily apply to asexuality as well.
That’s why gotta have each-others backs
Vampirech1ck Agreed, and other commenters have made the same observation. Thanks for watching!
Bi ace solidarity!!!
God don't have your back on this subject, so people can't help you with that.
MIKE DEWALT not everyone believes in god mike.
@@kerchewy2571 True, but its a dominate worldview, especially over atheism. I believe in God and so I will speak from my perspective based on my worldview. (raised by atheists btw).Plus I am exercising my 1st Amendment Rights, so there's that too.
I'm so effing proud of my bisexuality 💙💜❤
andslove88 hello , sorry to bug , but it’s pink , purple and blue
We all should be.
I’m glad someone chose to speak up about this. Everyone seems to get so caught up in the bigger picture of peace for LGBT+ people that they forget the erasure going on within their own community
Laoise 🙌🏻🔥🔥🔥
This might be a stretch, but she is wearing a PURPLE shirt. That might be something 😂
Francesca Cappai It was an intentional choice. 😉
In the community people get so annoyed because apparently we have it easier. We are still LGBT, and it’s also hard for us. It’s not a competition to see who gets more backlash, it’s an opportunity to support each other.
The statistics do not reflect that bisexuals have it easier
Finally, i started crying. Thank you so much. I feel understood for the first time EVER
“ the only person your obligated to save, is you” iconic
this woman gives me hope. she is an example of what my future can be like. i will be able to marry the person i love and have a family with them, and i will be okay. this was so inspiring and i hope other baby bisexuals like me will feel validated and comforted by this video ❤️❤️❤️
Elena Santin I’m glad it spoke to you. I wish you every good thing. Be well.
You have no idea how deeply I wish this woman was my mother
She deserved the huge cheer she got at the end
Her style of communication was both captivating and calming and everything she had to say was spot on. One of the best TED talks I've seen in a long time!
Topi Viljamaa Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
I had to stay hidden for years because “I was to young” I was eleven when I figured it out and I had two friends who also was bi.
I know I was young but I had herd many times from adults that I was smarter than many other grownups that they met, and I had no problem saying something and they would take my seriously. But not with this. Why?
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 💖💜💙
Pandis & Pandi LPS I’m sorry that happened to you. It wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair. I see you.
Dang. Who would've though Ted Talks will be this emotional? Great video, thank you so much ❤💙💜
JaShleylover17 You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed
This has given me a lot of strength.
Maybe I won't come out just yet, but I'm trying to slowly get rid of those voices you talked about which are so, so true.
I feel like there's a bit of internalized biphobia in me that I so want to get rid of before telling anyone, and your words helped me immensely. Thank you ♥️
Tamara W. You’re so very welcome. I still find unexpected bits of baggage to unpack. It’s a process, I think. I wish you the very best of everything along the way.
Difference between privacy and secrecy. That's good.
I'm crying from feeling so understood. Sending hugs from the closet.
I haven't been able to tell my family. I'm not ashamed of who I am and yet it's still hard to say the words. Great talk. She has a really good narrating voice. She can totally voice an audiobook
I just wanted to say her voice is really calming like she could read me a bedtime story to sleep.
It is so nice to finally be comprehended by someone, even if it’s just in my computer. I feel invisible every day and thanks to this for at least 17 minutes I didn’t feel invisible. You are an incredible person and I hope there are more people like you out there 💕💕
Sofi Taylor it’s ok 🍞🍫🍞🍌🤗🤗🤗
ok but she looks and sounds like that once in a lifetime likable english teacher
I’m good with that assessment! I had some English teachers and Literature professors like that. All my best to you, Alice.
Misty Gedlinske I love how you still come to check the comments it’s amazing NV
Yep the one who really cares
‘I picked a partner, not a side.’ AMAZING
I am so pleased I found this. It's such a relief to hear my own truth, the one I'm fighting to be open about, spoken aloud and with such apparent confidence. And, for the record, I have a lot more grey in my hair than Misty Gedlinske does.
Thank you Misty, from the very bottom of my heart.
Finally, someone said it. Omission and reliance on other people's assumptions really hit home. And Erasure is very real.
I'm pansexual, and I totally get this, too. When I was in seventh grade, I had my first crush on a girl. I knew what it was to some degree, but I kept fighting it because I didn't even know pansexuality or bisexuality existed, and I thought I was straight (since I'd had a few crushes on guys, including one I'd just gotten over a couple months ago). The only reason I knew bisexuality existed was a DeviantArt profile I'd seen a while ago that I thankfully remembered (after *hours* of not paying attention in math class because I was too busy worrying about this stuff). When I thought of that was such a relief, because in that moment I knew I wasn't defective.
I looked up other sexualities when I got home, so that I could be more aware of all the different sexualities and could make sure I found a label that fit me (pansexual, if you've forgotten).
I wanted to keep reading that - you'd make a great writer (soz for the random comment)
Recommended reading: Leah on the Offbeat. The sequel to “Love Simon.”
Cheree Porter Thanks! I’ll have to check it out.
IT HAS A SEQUEL ooooooo I’m reading that now
Her voice is so calming and comforting
Omg you touched on exactly the right points loved this vid 👏😍 but what shocked me the most was the given data 😣
"The only person that you're obligated to save is you."
Giving me chills when she said that. Truth in so many levels.
I have felt such peace since I accepted that I was bi and came out to my family. I love this
What she is saying is so powerful, and no one could of said it better! Thank you so much for these words
Sander Los You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
LGBT feels more like LGT to some of us bi bois, i'm glad somebody got this out there in a large public forum. It hurts to be in the closet, and know that even if you come out you'll still be in one.
burrito bandito You’re right that the closet is incredibly toxic and coming out of it is different for bisexuals. So few bi men are out and those who are can often be erased or disbelieved. I see you and I hope all good things for you.
you belong in the closet
Thanks you for letting me know that someone actually understands
Her voice is so nice to hear. I could listen to her all day speaking.
This is so true. If you held other sexualities to the same standard it would be like asking a straight person "why don't you cheat all the time because you like other people of that gender?"
"The affected person can become visible even to themselves". That's basically my story for 38 of my 40 years.
This is one of those really important messages! I’m open about myself, but I’ve seen friends hurt by hiding. This is amazingly said!
Thank you, this message is great, I needed to hear this.
Alex Smit You’re welcome. I hope it helped.
Thank you so much! I really needed that.
This video is everything!
Thanks for that!
this video means the world to me.