living alone is still better than living with wrong people. i travel and foodies alone. i turn 60 this year and i had decided to retired and continue my journey as what i left behind before covid. travel make you healthy (dont hv to travel very far) foodies wisely make you happy. happiness doesnt come from others but ownself.
i live alone. i am 66 and she passed in her sleep after 29 years together. worst day of my life; one of the best days of my life. some people are not wired to be with others. my time is mine now and transcendent.
I am 73 and so grateful to be living without a man criticizing everything I do and telling me how fat I am and how terrible I look the way my father did when I was young. Life is good now; it was awful then.
l am destined to be alone, too lazy to keep in touch with people l knew, not keen in making new ones. And worse of not being interested in anyone's stories. I have no problem staying home for days and spending time in my dim apartment with curtains drawn most of the time. Absolutely, love being left alone and finding peace in my own solitude.
I live like you, I’m fine alone. My drapes are closed, I am always in bed watching tv, in the dark, with my computer and tv, I am fine most of the time but I do get lonely. I join at go to the stores and I’m fine for another week
I am a 77 year old single, sound of body and mind. I'm a blue guy in a red town so I no longer have friends, but retirement has given me the opportunity to study anything I want, so I have a rich inner life that keeps me very satisfied indeed.
I like what you have said. I think the thing is we have to take control and navigate the waters of our own lives pursuing what interests us. Also, I try to keep social with any friends that are still alive or haven't moved away, even if I don't feel up to it. I work part time as a freelance writer to feel relevant (like someone wants to hear what I have to say) and to ease the purse strings too. So, taking care of yourself, having a rich inner life as you say and, also, spiritual thankfulness are all necessary at this time in life. Blessings to you.
I will be 68 next month. Love 😍 living alone. Never married. No kids. Happy 😊. Love my freedom. No nieces or nephews. Fine with me. My sister and brother and most of my friends have no kids. We like it that way 😊😊😊😊
I like how honest your Dad is. Most people are lonely but won't admit for fear of being seen as weak. Perhaps he can join a senior citizen group or learn new skills/hobbies like music perhaps.
In the end we are all alone. We treat everyone we meet nicely as we meet everyone daily you will be surprised that you are not alone anymore. You also need to have hobbies and interest to keep your passion.
I am 82 years old, healthy, have family and friends and activities. I have my own condo and love living alone. I cook, entertain, work part-time, and do most of the things I did when I was younger. My little dog passed away a couple years ago. I will get another one if the rescue will take her/him back if something happens to me. (Most will). Most of my older friends like living alone, also. It depends on the individual and what they like and are used to.
I agree I love being with me. I'm busy all the time and when I'm not I have my arts and crafts. Plus I love reading mysteries. I can't fathom lonely it's a concept I don't understand.😊
Me too ,i will be 65 i June this year ,a retired kindergarten teacher,never married ,no children ,have great friends ,,enjoy going travelling ,n gardening ,never a boring moment
I absolutely love living alone, people asked me if I ever feel lonely, the answer is NO, being alone doesn't have to be feeling lonely, I enjoyed the freedom and calm and peace living alone.
I'm a kindergarten teacher hoping to retire in about 18months when i finish this contract. I live in a country that values and still has strong community. I was married but found it never suited my personality. I love living alone but living in a great community surrouned by people who love and care for me. My life is interesting as I live a large international life and I becae a UA-camr ha!@@Laila-ss8qy
It's impossible to stay alone if one is having chronic diseases...so most senior living alone means they are healthy, which is really a bless. Health is so precious.
I know a lot of seniors who are very active . They go on trips , live in beautiful homes , no money worries , awesome loving family , etc . But they say when they come back home to an empty place , they feel so alone and depressed. But nobody would think that about them ! I was shocked when they told me . Being alone is fine for some people. ( or so they say ) The saying goes , dont let the green grass fool you . And you can be in a house full of people and still feel alone . Pray much for one another . 🤗😇🙏
I know of two friends in their early 70s , alone and bedridden. It is when you lose your independence that you regret being alone with no one close enough to rely on. As long as one is independent, being solo is great! However be prepared for the loss of one's independence and the beginning of loneliness.
It's a beautiful apartment. I would not complain a word if I can afford to live like that ! We can be happier when we know to adjust our sense of contentment.
It's clickbait nonsense. He's surrounded by family, is healthy, fit and independent. If it's that bad, go and help ppl who really are in need of companionship
It doesn't matter whether a senior is alone by choice or by circumstances, it is difficult and lonely. But getting old doesn't have to be like that. We can come together and help each other. This is the season to relax, now that we are free from responsibilities. Let's celebrate together.
It is great that he didn't abandoned his cat. Some people abandon family members, children. Cat is fortunate to have loving father. Best wishes to the senior person.
I understand it well. I feel for him. I live alone as well. My wife had MS for 26 years. We were married 51 years. I cared for her at home for all of that time except the last few years when she went into a nursing home because she needed more care than I could give her at home. She wasn't able to stand or walk for the last 15 years. She passed away in June 2022. I am Coeliac and I cook sometimes. But mostly my main meals I buy from Gourmet Meals and they are delivered to my home. It is a good way to control the portion size. I keep well and walk about 11,000 steps a day. But I do get lonely sometimes. Occasionally I go on Seniors trips. I will not get married again.
Im widowed five years ...kids married...living slone for two years kept busy with house maintaining and the hobbies now my disabled brother stays with me since 2021. Lifestyle changed a bid but happy to have him living with me . I still miss my hubby and treasure the good well learned lessons of him...he was very intellectual stimulating sporty and my handyman.....missing even his complexities 😂.....but life goes on.....im dont live in a lonely habit stage but love my private headspace and treasure my independence dearly.🎉
Loneliness is the most feared factor of any widow or widower. Some cope better than others but there is no escape of the feeling of loneliness regardless of how active you are socially when ur partners passed away. There is always a moment of loneliness and sadness in the hours, days, weeks, years and holidays.
Loneliness occurs because the individual refuses to be responsible. Loving alone is fabulous. My guess he is unhappy because he wants his indentured servant aka wife back to do for him what he refuses to do for himself.
The very same applies to many divorced men and women. I have been on my own for a long 18 years. Kids now all grown and leading their own lives. It is really tough to be getting older with no companionship /relationship. Acitivities are fine but can only go so far to fill the timr and the emotional void. Like Melinda's father, I have little boxes of one portion meals in the freezer and barely have the appetite to cook much, let alone eat. Married friends have long since stopped socializing or including me in their events. See grand kids regulary and that is rewarding, but no two ways about it, not great or ideal!
My husband died 2 years ago in ‘21. We loved being together and it lasted 46 years. I have a large, loving family and friends, but still the loneliness is unbearable sometimes. I’ve come to realize that we were #1 in each other’s eyes and now that’s over. I’m 77 years old and though I am loved, I am no longer #1 in anyone’s eyes. As a single old people, we are on the outside circle of life looking in at others, being just a small part of their life…..if they have time…….
He looks very good for his and still lots of things for himself I am 66 yes lives alone do everything for myself but sometimes you feel lonely you children and they don't even look for you or call I am thankful that I am still able to do everything there are younger people who can't even do things for themselves due to illnesses I thank God every day🙏
I am 62.Staying alone from 1992.I do Yoga & meditation. My hobby is street photography. I teach English to poor kids. Motivating single women is my first priority. Like to be bystander & learn medicine. I am a student till death. God bless you all, siblings.
He should plan a family dinner party at least once a week - a day to plan - shop - a day to cook - a day to party - a day to recover- a then time for a friend to entertain or a cause
I understand how you feel. My Ah Pa also passed quite recently. Your Papa is so fortunate to have such a filial daughter! God be with you in this difficult time.
I have lived alone for decades-no kids, two dogs, and a full life. I have failed retirement too many times to mention, because there is always something to do, a need to fill, a purpose to accept. My home is designed for accessibility as I age, and I plan to remain here. The key is to establish social interests when we are younger, so that we have them as we grow old.
Daddy has a loving caring family ❤ maybe he could write a little cookbook or journal/memoir about his life with mom and family that he could pass down to his children.
I understand him very much Older people still likes their privacy ,but it's still Very pleasing to know that his children are willing to have him come and live with them
I'm so glad to hear that the kids will take him in when he needs them.But ,right now he's trying to enjoy his independence.But yet he needs to find something to do because he still feels lonely
It was so good to find your post. I'm in a similar situation. I'm a 70 yo widower content to live alone. I do what I want, when I want. Any problems, I deal with them. Great content.
I am 65 now and when I am actually elderly, I will not be living by myself. I'm going to find a senior company housing situation or roommate situation. I have no interest in aging alone.
I am 76 and live with an adult daughter but she's very busy. I am alone but not lonely most of the time. I am in good health and finally could get into creative writing which has taken me to develop my writing skills. I am always busy and I am also thankful that i am active and doing what is best for me, and my mental health. It was a process but i made it!
Alone by Choice: He is NOT alone. He chooses to be. He just doesn't want to burden his children. He is still healthy and has family when he wants them. It's really a good situation. He has a CAT too. So it's a lonely situation trying to recapture the past.
With a sweet, caring, lovely daughter like her, Mr. Chong is a very lucky man and is never going to be totally alone with no one who cares about him. Not every senior person is so fortunate.
Hi Melinda! I am your new subscriber from San Francisco, California, USA. I can relate with your Dad. I choose to live independently as well because I do not want to rely on anyone on things that I can still do. Also, I am very active, strong, healthy and have a very good support system from my family. I wish all seniors watching this vlog, a healthier, stronger, and meaningful life!
When one is content, happiness is easy to find. I treasure the peace and the sound of silence in my own home and garden. It s a good setting for meditation. I can meet friends for lunch or travel whenever I choose to. Among my personal interests and hobbies are reading, painting, gardening, bird watching, and cooking.
He looks like he is in his sixties! Edit: if you have elderly parents, make sure they have all the heavy items that they need, like a bag of rice or a box of detergent. Even showing up with a big watermelon is priceless. True, food delivery is a life saver.
@@pursedelighted Even better to show up with a watermelon and then cut it up for you to enjoy. Dear Purse, stop eating sugar and your arthritis will get better. Just eat fatty meat, eggs, fruits and vegetables. Skip sodas, rice, bread, cookies, noodles, pastas, pizzas, sweetened teas and coffees, and any other forms that sugar comes in. Watch Dr. Jason Fung on UA-cam if you have time. He talks about intermittent fasting to cure diabetes and other diseases that come from a lifetime of sugar consumption.
I understand. I'm alone too, it's hard but I just try to stay a little bit busy. The loneliness is not any fun. 74 now, lost my wife of 53 years. It's not any fun. Just doing the best I can. Ready to go to Heaven any time.
Why not try to be sociable. Go to Bingo or whatever you enjoy doing. (so many men are going to Bingo, a great, fun and sometimes profitable day out. You do not need to stay home cause you feel old. Accept where you are in your life, do not waste what is left of your life being lonely. There are millions of seniors, take time to meet them and make new friends. Your life is what you make it…..
From my experience, quality and meaningful time spend with him is invaluable. U will hv no regrets later but only sweet memories.One day we will all walk the same path.
It is when we are frail when we can not step up the ladders to change light bulbs, fire alarm, then down to cook then exercise etc when it is really sad. we will be dependent on others... I have seen people in their 80s who are still ambulatory, 90s who drive etc
Bless you and your siblings at least you all still care and check on your elderly father who chose to live alone. There are many elderly who are abandoned by their children especially those who migrated overseas and don't come back to visit often.
Very true. Some people have no sense of care and gratitude to the elderly. They don't understand the loneliness their parent suffers. These ungrateful people will one day come to the same ending.
So lovely ... allowing one's parent to live on their own is never an easy decision. Ultimately as long as he/she is happy and prefer doing that (for whatever reasons that are meaningful to them) then we have to relent and support the in their decision and visit them as frequently as possible. Everyone finds their own happiness and security in their own way. Love is always the top priority..... whether near or afar.
Agreed...we made the choice...so everyone is having own commitment & responsibility...let life goes on in its way...but be prepared for the outcome...I think that will make life more meaningful...
we are lucky if we have a culture that cares for our elderly, we consider it a blessing to care for our parents but probably one day he might change his mind and come home, in the meantime he is enjoying his peace and quiet!
Melinda, you are doing a great job! Daddy treasures his privacy and space, values you and his wider family. The Chong cookbook is a great idea! If he can eat quite a lot, he has a great appetite! Healthy too. ❤
Diagnosed five years ago with multiple myeloma, which causes your immune system to become highly compromised. I'm 66 but in a lot of pain from old injuries and the cancer...have one son but we rarely interact much, and as he doesn't drive, and I can't drive out of town, I don't know when I will see him again. I have to stay in isolation so cannot go out, even to eat. I love my home and yard, but money is very tight as I am on disability, which is a very limited income. Widowed 13 years ago, and only one brother still alive. Fell in love after my darling husband died, but that gentle man also died, only four years after my husband. Just to say, loneliness is very hard, and heartbreaking, for those of us with no one to turn to, and unable to go out or even do what we used to be able to do. My dog died suddenly at only eight years old three months ago...and I can't afford another. Nor a cat. So it goes. So it goes. I read a lot, and listen to books on tape. Used to be able to do much more yard work than I can now. So, that is just another elder's story. Mine. I feel for this older gentleman...his loss is obviously still very tender to him...I feel he tries to put on a brave face for his daughter. Saw him wiping tears away as she was talking about how independent and contented he is. I know I pretend to be better than I am, for my son. And hold back from reaching out to him, too often. Just some reflections.
She has offered to have him live with her but he refuses because he loves his cat and apparently where his daughter lives, pets must not be allowed. He will stay where he is at his own choice so as to keep his little cat. I think he likes holding on to his independence as long as he's able, I am 85 years myself and feel much the same way. I love my freedom and privacy and not having to depend on anyone, cook what I want, go to bed and get up when I want, stay in my pajamas all day if I want.
Hey Melinda… Your dad seems like a sweetheart! Not everyone has great parents like I’m sure you did so please… Give them all the love , respect and care you can While they are still here.
Great video Melinda. Appreciate your love for ur dad, & it's so good to show it in video - tat's very assuring for daddy Kenneth. Keep up ur love for him. I'm sure the other siblings do too. 👌👍
Being alone and being lonely are 2 different things. Sometimes surrounded by people can also make you feel lonely. In my experience,I have seen elderly people who are either lonely or not lonely. I wonder when millennials or gen z someday live alone, will we become lonely as well considering these generations are more aware of resources and support out there.
Thank you, I love your Daddy for not giving up his independence in order to keep his cat happy too. It is important to care for our animals and I am sure Cathy is good company for him. Living alone is how I see my future self and I look forward to it.
Im 50 years old simgle never got married no children..took care of my parents who died and my sister children..now Im alone at home .i see sister or brother sometimes.....maybe i will age alone..
In Singapore, it is not usually apparent when you meet a baba or nonya that they are one. But i find that there are aspects of their culture that are different from that of modern day non Peranakan Singaporean Chinese. They tend to be very close knitted as a family. They have a especially strong family food culture. They are more expressive with their love. These are just my personal observations.
There is a difference between living alone and being lonely. Also, health does come into play as if you have physical, mental health it does mean you can manage to look after yourself. I do speak from experience as my mother became alone due to bereavement and managed very well all things considered, had an active social life, hobbies and volunteered plus the company of her dog. Then we noticed changes, low moods, anxiety, lack of self care, the gradual giving up of activities and friends. Sadly she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Dementia but luckily very slow developing but enough to have to move to a care home. She’s doing well and happy now she is not living alone and has lost that feeling of loneliness and isolation.
I am lucky to have a seniors centre nearby. Here I’ve made new friends and taken part in art programs, watch opera movies, popular films..every Thursday there is a soup lunch for $4.00, a weekly food bank, help with taxes or filling forms,,,this program has been going on for 30 years.Every community should have a government sponsored club especially when we are hearing of loneliness among the elderly.
Melinda you are a very good daughter. Not all parents have thoughtful children. Suggest getting him a personal alarm like a necklace then should he require help he just presses a button.
Peace and quiet is a lot better than chaos and arguments. Living with other people is not easy. I've lived with some really loud, obnoxious, inconsiderate, destructive people. I was very glad to get away from them. If you have money you won't be lonely because you can go and interact with people and travel. If you don't have money then it can be a major problem
Your dad is a doll Melinda ❤.thank you so much for sharing him with us.please give him a hug for me.can you kiss Cathy for me , my cat is in the vet and I think she will die .i love cats and am broken hearted about my cat .please hug Cathy
I can see that you really love your dad. It is definitely lonely staying all by himself . Passing time is difficult. Maybe you guys can spend weekends with him. That would be great. Take care of your dad n love him. God bless you guys.
It is indeed hard to be alone. I personally has trained myself to be able to cope with loneliness. But how? First, one must acknowledge that loneliness is just a mental state which has been created through past experiences. Past experiences for example one has got many friends and the life long living with wife and children. Without them being around, the mental state of “loneliness” arises and sadness follows. And sadness itself is also a negative mental state, good or bad feeling is also a mental state. How to get rid of the negative mental state? One can join a volunteering charitable group, go to churches or temples, these are wholesome places which creates positive thoughts. Slowly the self-centred egoistic personality will disappear. The negative state of mind will also disappears. Loneliness will also disappear.
Tq Melinda for sharing this. Yr dad is still healthy, he just doesn't want to impose on anyone. I can understand that. May God bless him & u with good health always.
Do make sure to all those whos living alone especially elderly ppl. Eveyday pls at least make a simple sms; vice versa to any childrens, frds, relatives or other immediate families etc to knw he/she r ok. If theres no reply frm sms or calls, rush to their place! U may nvr knw death could take place suddenly or unnoticed until the smells lingers. Lots of lonely death cases lately. 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
living alone is still better than living with wrong people. i travel and foodies alone. i turn 60 this year and i had decided to retired and continue my journey as what i left behind before covid. travel make you healthy (dont hv to travel very far) foodies wisely make you happy. happiness doesnt come from others but ownself.
i live alone.
i am 66 and she passed in her sleep after 29 years together.
worst day of my life; one of the best days of my life. some people
are not wired to be with others. my time is mine now and transcendent.
☮️🙏
I am 73 and so grateful to be living without a man criticizing everything I do and telling me how fat I am and how terrible I look the way my father did when I was young. Life is good now; it was awful then.
living alone is HEAVEN!
Terrence, that's very uplifting!!! Sometimes you just have to hear (or read) someone say it. Thanks.
l am destined to be alone, too lazy to keep in touch with people l knew, not keen in making new ones. And worse of not being interested in anyone's stories. I have no problem staying home for days and spending time in my dim apartment with curtains drawn most of the time. Absolutely, love being left alone and finding peace in my own solitude.
Same for me. I don't even like visitors
I live like you, I’m fine alone. My drapes are closed, I am always in bed watching tv, in the dark, with my computer and tv, I am fine most of the time but I do get lonely. I join at go to the stores and I’m fine for another week
I am a 77 year old single, sound of body and mind. I'm a blue guy in a red town so I no longer have friends, but retirement has given me the opportunity to study anything I want, so I have a rich inner life that keeps me very satisfied indeed.
You might be surprised at how many True Blues live in your neighborhood! Take a look at the stats from the 2020 election!
I like what you have said. I think the thing is we have to take control and navigate the waters of our own lives pursuing what interests us. Also, I try to keep social with any friends that are still alive or haven't moved away, even if I don't feel up to it. I work part time as a freelance writer to feel relevant (like someone wants to hear what I have to say) and to ease the purse strings too. So, taking care of yourself, having a rich inner life as you say and, also, spiritual thankfulness are all necessary at this time in life. Blessings to you.
0@@stellajohnson5301
He is still healthy, doing things for himself at 84. That is good.
74 here. Healthy and alone.
Privacy, solitude and independence in abundance.
The BEST years of my life !!!!!
I will be 68 next month. Love 😍 living alone. Never married. No kids. Happy 😊. Love my freedom. No nieces or nephews. Fine with me. My sister and brother and most of my friends have no kids. We like it that way 😊😊😊😊
I’m 79 and exactly the same as you. Dennis (my cat) and I get along very nicely. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Clever wish I had done that to
I like how honest your Dad is. Most people are lonely but won't admit for fear of being seen as weak. Perhaps he can join a senior citizen group or learn new skills/hobbies like music perhaps.
Hello
In the end we are all alone. We treat everyone we meet nicely as we meet everyone daily you will be surprised that you are not alone anymore. You also need to have hobbies and interest to keep your passion.
I am 82 years old, healthy, have family and friends and activities. I have my own condo and love living alone. I cook, entertain, work part-time, and do most of the things I did when I was younger. My little dog passed away a couple years ago. I will get another one if the rescue will take her/him back if something happens to me. (Most will). Most of my older friends like living alone, also. It depends on the individual and what they like and are used to.
❤
Great yes a pet would meke you good. 😊
May I know what kind of job did you do for a part-time job?
0:13
I agree I love being with me. I'm busy all the time and when I'm not I have my arts and crafts. Plus I love reading mysteries. I can't fathom lonely it's a concept I don't understand.😊
Living alone and loneliness are two different things. People can enjoy life even living alone. Have a blessed life!
You can have family that do not pay attention to you. That makes life more miserable than being alone. I love to be alone at 61.
Me too ,i will be 65 i June this year ,a retired kindergarten teacher,never married ,no children ,have great friends ,,enjoy going travelling ,n gardening ,never a boring moment
I absolutely love living alone, people asked me if I ever feel lonely, the answer is NO, being alone doesn't have to be feeling lonely, I enjoyed the freedom and calm and peace living alone.
I'm a kindergarten teacher hoping to retire in about 18months when i finish this contract. I live in a country that values and still has strong community. I was married but found it never suited my personality. I love living alone but living in a great community surrouned by people who love and care for me. My life is interesting as I live a large international life and I becae a UA-camr ha!@@Laila-ss8qy
❤
He is a rich retiree.thats makes a whole lot of difference.
finance and health are the decisive factors of quality retirement
It's impossible to stay alone if one is having chronic diseases...so most senior living alone means they are healthy, which is really a bless. Health is so precious.
I am 65 and in chronic pain with fibromyalgia arthritis and knee replacement and spinal fusion
@@pursedelighted I have unidentified inflammatory arthritis..
I know a lot of seniors who are very active .
They go on trips , live in beautiful homes , no money worries , awesome loving family , etc .
But they say when they come back home to an empty place , they feel so alone and depressed.
But nobody would think that about them !
I was shocked when they told me .
Being alone is fine for some people.
( or so they say )
The saying goes , dont let the green grass fool you .
And you can be in a house full of people and still feel alone .
Pray much for one another .
🤗😇🙏
I know of two friends in their early 70s , alone and bedridden. It is when you lose your independence that you regret being alone with no one close enough to rely on.
As long as one is independent, being solo is great! However be prepared for the loss of one's independence and the beginning of loneliness.
It's a beautiful apartment. I would not complain a word if I can afford to live like that ! We can be happier when we know to adjust our sense of contentment.
It's clickbait nonsense. He's surrounded by family, is healthy, fit and independent. If it's that bad, go and help ppl who really are in need of companionship
He lives in a condominium and is educated, probably a former professional. They should show the elderly poor living alone in 1 room hdb rental flats.
It doesn't matter whether a senior is alone by choice or by circumstances, it is difficult and lonely. But getting old doesn't have to be like that. We can come together and help each other. This is the season to relax, now that we are free from responsibilities. Let's celebrate together.
That's life in Singapore, face it
Correct still good to be connected.
It is great that he didn't abandoned his cat. Some people abandon family members, children. Cat is fortunate to have loving father. Best wishes to the senior person.
People are different. Some would enjoy being alone and do things they enjoyed like watching movies and playing games. While others would like company.
I understand it well. I feel for him. I live alone as well. My wife had MS for 26 years. We were married 51 years. I cared for her at home for all of that time except the last few years when she went into a nursing home because she needed more care than I could give her at home. She wasn't able to stand or walk for the last 15 years. She passed away in June 2022.
I am Coeliac and I cook sometimes. But mostly my main meals I buy from Gourmet Meals and they are delivered to my home. It is a good way to control the portion size. I keep well and walk about 11,000 steps a day. But I do get lonely sometimes. Occasionally I go on Seniors trips. I will not get married again.
How do you KNOW that?
Im widowed five years ...kids married...living slone for two years kept busy with house maintaining and the hobbies now my disabled brother stays with me since 2021. Lifestyle changed a bid but happy to have him living with me . I still miss my hubby and treasure the good well learned lessons of him...he was very intellectual stimulating sporty and my handyman.....missing even his complexities 😂.....but life goes on.....im dont live in a lonely habit stage but love my private headspace and treasure my independence dearly.🎉
Loneliness is the most feared factor of any widow or widower. Some cope better than others but there is no escape of the feeling of loneliness regardless of how active you are socially when ur partners passed away. There is always a moment of loneliness and sadness in the hours, days, weeks, years and holidays.
'chosen' loneliness is thousand times better than 'given' loneliness. Regardless of age, live life the you like it, as long as you're happy😊
Loneliness occurs because the individual refuses to be responsible. Loving alone is fabulous. My guess he is unhappy because he wants his indentured servant aka wife back to do for him what he refuses to do for himself.
The very same applies to many divorced men and women. I have been on my own for a long 18 years. Kids now all grown and leading their own lives. It is really tough to be getting older with no companionship /relationship. Acitivities are fine but can only go so far to fill the timr and the emotional void. Like Melinda's father, I have little boxes of one portion meals in the freezer and barely have the appetite to cook much, let alone eat. Married friends have long since stopped socializing or including me in their events. See grand kids regulary and that is rewarding, but no two ways about it, not great or ideal!
My husband died 2 years ago in ‘21. We loved being together and it lasted 46 years. I have a large, loving family and friends, but still the loneliness is unbearable sometimes. I’ve come to realize that we were #1 in each other’s eyes and now that’s over. I’m 77 years old and though I am loved, I am no longer #1 in anyone’s eyes. As a single old people, we are on the outside circle of life looking in at others, being just a small part of their life…..if they have time…….
@@carolblair2845,
Everything that glitter is not gold.🎯💯
So incredibly sweet for him to care about his cat - what a beautiful soul!
He looks very good for his and still lots of things for himself I am 66 yes lives alone do everything for myself but sometimes you feel lonely you children and they don't even look for you or call I am thankful that I am still able to do everything there are younger people who can't even do things for themselves due to illnesses I thank God every day🙏
I am 62.Staying alone from 1992.I do Yoga & meditation. My hobby is street photography. I teach English to poor kids. Motivating single women is my first priority. Like to be bystander & learn medicine. I am a student till death. God bless you all, siblings.
Glad to see your sharing ❤
Wow!It seems like you are making the most of your life.God bless you too, elder citizen❤✨
Thank you, Lonely Wanderer. I too like to wander all alone, singing songs
@@user-ij6sp4bq6g😁😌. By the way,are you a keralite? Ur account name seems like a Kerala style name.I'm a keralite in fact
I am Sathi Nair, Palakkad
He’s doing great. God bless him!! ❤
Your dad still looks healthy and active for an 83 person.
He looks brilliant and has family who love him. What's he whining about?
He should plan a family dinner party at least once a week - a day to plan - shop - a day to cook - a day to party - a day to recover- a then time for a friend to entertain or a cause
My father passed on 6 months ago and I still feel so sad n cry everyday. Looking at Mr Kenneth, I miss my Papa so much.
I know what you are going through… pls stay strong. My mom passed on 1 1/2 year ago and I still miss her. You are not alone.
My parents passed years ago and still missed them badly. There is no replacement for parents.
I understand how you feel. My Ah Pa also passed quite recently. Your Papa is so fortunate to have such a filial daughter! God be with you in this difficult time.
Find a time to look after seniors round ur place
My granny passed away 40 days ago, I cry everyday too... When I see grannies in the street I almost start to cry... I miss her so much
I have lived alone for decades-no kids, two dogs, and a full life. I have failed retirement too many times to mention, because there is always something to do, a need to fill, a purpose to accept. My home is designed for accessibility as I age, and I plan to remain here. The key is to establish social interests when we are younger, so that we have them as we grow old.
That is why I collect action figures and build scale models now, in my mid 40s. Lots of friends to meet at conventions.
You are so sweet to respect his independence while caring for him from the heart!
Daddy has a loving caring family ❤ maybe he could write a little cookbook or journal/memoir about his life with mom and family that he could pass down to his children.
I understand him very much Older people still likes their privacy ,but it's still Very pleasing to know that his children are willing to have him come and live with them
I really appreciate that your Daddy take care of that cute kitty. He is such a kind-hearted person. 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻
I'm so glad to hear that the kids will take him in when he needs them.But ,right now he's trying to enjoy his independence.But yet he needs to find something to do because he still feels lonely
It was so good to find your post. I'm in a similar situation. I'm a 70 yo widower content to live alone. I do what I want, when I want. Any problems, I deal with them. Great content.
I am 65 now and when I am actually elderly, I will not be living by myself. I'm going to find a senior company housing situation or roommate situation. I have no interest in aging alone.
He may be alone, but not lonely. 👍
I am 76 and live with an adult daughter but she's very busy. I am alone but not lonely most of the time. I am in good health and finally could get into creative writing which has taken me to develop my writing skills. I am always busy and I am also thankful that i am active and doing what is best for me, and my mental health.
It was a process but i made it!
Maybe consider starting a UA-cam channel for your dad to share his cooking. I’m sure many of us will be happy to watch!
I love living alone. Its a great blessing.
He’s much better than lots of ppl , I am totally a lone , no wife no family whatsoever, at least he have a daughters and cat come over
You may also want to keep a cat too.
Alone by Choice: He is NOT alone. He chooses to be. He just doesn't want to burden his children. He is still healthy and has family when he wants them. It's really a good situation. He has a CAT too. So it's a lonely situation trying to recapture the past.
living alone is great. there are two absolute necessities though - financial security and good health.
What a sweet video!! Thanks for sharing.
With a sweet, caring, lovely daughter like her, Mr. Chong is a very lucky man and is never going to be totally alone with no one who cares about him. Not every senior person is so fortunate.
Hi Melinda! I am your new subscriber from San Francisco, California, USA. I can relate with your Dad. I choose to live independently as well because I do not want to rely on anyone on things that I can still do. Also, I am very active, strong, healthy and have a very good support system from my family. I wish all seniors watching this vlog, a healthier, stronger, and meaningful life!
When one is content, happiness is easy to find. I treasure the peace and the sound of silence in my own home and garden. It s a good setting for meditation. I can meet friends for lunch or travel whenever I choose to. Among my personal interests and hobbies are reading, painting, gardening, bird watching, and cooking.
He looks like he is in his sixties!
Edit: if you have elderly parents, make sure they have all the heavy items that they need, like a bag of rice or a box of detergent. Even showing up with a big watermelon is priceless. True, food delivery is a life saver.
🍉, surely
I am not lonely I am 65 .I have bad arthritis and can't do some things like I used to that is what bothers me
@@pursedelighted Even better to show up with a watermelon and then cut it up for you to enjoy. Dear Purse, stop eating sugar and your arthritis will get better. Just eat fatty meat, eggs, fruits and vegetables. Skip sodas, rice, bread, cookies, noodles, pastas, pizzas, sweetened teas and coffees, and any other forms that sugar comes in. Watch Dr. Jason Fung on UA-cam if you have time. He talks about intermittent fasting to cure diabetes and other diseases that come from a lifetime of sugar consumption.
I understand. I'm alone too, it's hard but I just try to stay a little bit busy. The loneliness is not any fun. 74 now, lost my wife of 53 years. It's not any fun. Just doing the best I can. Ready to go to Heaven any time.
I'm in the same situation. Can we help each other?
Why not try to be sociable. Go to Bingo or whatever you enjoy doing. (so many men are going to Bingo, a great, fun and sometimes profitable day out. You do not need to stay home cause you feel old. Accept where you are in your life, do not waste what is left of your life being lonely. There are millions of seniors, take time to meet them and make new friends. Your life is what you make it…..
Are you from Denver?
@@cfmusic2317 Don't start any friendship after 50 years old should be your motto of your old age!
How about your children?
From my experience, quality and meaningful time spend with him is invaluable. U will hv no regrets later but only sweet memories.One day we will all walk the same path.
Thanks Melinda . Getting old is not a new gig . Lots of people are coping with it as we speak .
It is when we are frail when we can not step up the ladders to change light bulbs, fire alarm, then down to cook then exercise etc when it is really sad. we will be dependent on others...
I have seen people in their 80s who are still ambulatory, 90s who drive etc
Bless you and your siblings at least you all still care and check on your elderly father who chose to live alone. There are many elderly who are abandoned by their children especially those who migrated overseas and don't come back to visit often.
Very true. Some people have no sense of care and gratitude to the elderly. They don't understand the loneliness their parent suffers.
These ungrateful people will one day come to the same ending.
So lovely ... allowing one's parent to live on their own is never an easy decision. Ultimately as long as he/she is happy and prefer doing that (for whatever reasons that are meaningful to them) then we have to relent and support the in their decision and visit them as frequently as possible. Everyone finds their own happiness and security in their own way. Love is always the top priority..... whether near or afar.
Agreed...we made the choice...so everyone is having own commitment & responsibility...let life goes on in its way...but be prepared for the outcome...I think that will make life more meaningful...
we are lucky if we have a culture that cares for our elderly, we consider it a blessing to care for our parents but probably one day he might change his mind and come home, in the meantime he is enjoying his peace and quiet!
You’re so sweet to your dad. He’s lucky to have you
He is so cute ! Glad he can move around...
Melinda, you are doing a great job! Daddy treasures his privacy and space, values you and his wider family. The Chong cookbook is a great idea! If he can eat quite a lot, he has a great appetite! Healthy too. ❤
It would be great to see your Dad cooking on his own YT channel. It will keep him busy and we learn from his talent, win-win ❤
🎉wow beautiful healthy and happy pet 😺.
Diagnosed five years ago with multiple myeloma, which causes your immune system to become highly compromised. I'm 66 but in a lot of pain from old injuries and the cancer...have one son but we rarely interact much, and as he doesn't drive, and I can't drive out of town, I don't know when I will see him again. I have to stay in isolation so cannot go out, even to eat. I love my home and yard, but money is very tight as I am on disability, which is a very limited income. Widowed 13 years ago, and only one brother still alive. Fell in love after my darling husband died, but that gentle man also died, only four years after my husband. Just to say, loneliness is very hard, and heartbreaking, for those of us with no one to turn to, and unable to go out or even do what we used to be able to do. My dog died suddenly at only eight years old three months ago...and I can't afford another. Nor a cat. So it goes. So it goes. I read a lot, and listen to books on tape. Used to be able to do much more yard work than I can now. So, that is just another elder's story. Mine. I feel for this older gentleman...his loss is obviously still very tender to him...I feel he tries to put on a brave face for his daughter. Saw him wiping tears away as she was talking about how independent and contented he is. I know I pretend to be better than I am, for my son. And hold back from reaching out to him, too often. Just some reflections.
Your parents must be really nice. I appreciate your freedom and independence.
And if you could possibly afford it… Bring your dad into your own home till the end of his days… That’s what would truly make him happy.
She has offered to have him live with her but he refuses because he loves his cat and apparently where his daughter lives, pets must not be allowed. He will stay where he is at his own choice so as to keep his little cat. I think he likes holding on to his independence as long as he's able, I am 85 years myself and feel much the same way. I love my freedom and privacy and not having to depend on anyone, cook what I want, go to bed and get up when I want, stay in my pajamas all day if I want.
Hey Melinda… Your dad seems like a sweetheart! Not everyone has great parents like I’m sure you did so please… Give them all the love , respect and care you can While they are still here.
Great video Melinda. Appreciate your love for ur dad, & it's so good to show it in video - tat's very assuring for daddy Kenneth. Keep up ur love for him. I'm sure the other siblings do too. 👌👍
Being alone and being lonely are 2 different things. Sometimes surrounded by people can also make you feel lonely. In my experience,I have seen elderly people who are either lonely or not lonely. I wonder when millennials or gen z someday live alone, will we become lonely as well considering these generations are more aware of resources and support out there.
Thank you, I love your Daddy for not giving up his independence in order to keep his cat happy too. It is important to care for our animals and I am sure Cathy is good company for him. Living alone is how I see my future self and I look forward to it.
Hey Melinda, most elderly parents like their independence rather than living with their children or relatives
I just love alone after the 50th birthday.i feel blessed.
Im 50 years old simgle never got married no children..took care of my parents who died and my sister children..now
Im alone at home .i see sister or brother sometimes.....maybe i will age alone..
What a sweet video and two sweet people. ❤
You are a great daughter ❤️ 😊 😊
In Singapore, it is not usually apparent when you meet a baba or nonya that they are one. But i find that there are aspects of their culture that are different from that of modern day non Peranakan Singaporean Chinese. They tend to be very close knitted as a family. They have a especially strong family food culture. They are more expressive with their love. These are just my personal observations.
I saw many poor old lonely man in the street
This man is so lucky
Ken , you are truly blessed !!!!!!!
There is a difference between living alone and being lonely. Also, health does come into play as if you have physical, mental health it does mean you can manage to look after yourself. I do speak from experience as my mother became alone due to bereavement and managed very well all things considered, had an active social life, hobbies and volunteered plus the company of her dog. Then we noticed changes, low moods, anxiety, lack of self care, the gradual giving up of activities and friends. Sadly she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Dementia but luckily very slow developing but enough to have to move to a care home. She’s doing well and happy now she is not living alone and has lost that feeling of loneliness and isolation.
I been alone for few yrs and loving it love my privacy 💕
I’m 74, live alone with my cat, have health issues. I live way back, very remote. It’s ok now, but winter is so very tough
Very heartwarming and relevant in our present day context!!
I am lucky to have a seniors centre nearby. Here I’ve made new friends and taken part in art programs, watch opera movies, popular films..every Thursday there is a soup lunch for $4.00, a weekly food bank, help with taxes or filling forms,,,this program has been going on for 30 years.Every community should have a government sponsored club especially when we are hearing of loneliness among the elderly.
Melinda you are a very good daughter. Not all parents have thoughtful children. Suggest getting him a personal alarm like a necklace then should he require help he just presses a button.
At least he has choices, some of us are not that lucky.
As long as you hv gd health, you are LUCKY -- enjoy each day as if yr last cs tomorrow may not come.
As long as you have money, you have choices right?
Peace and quiet is a lot better than chaos and arguments. Living with other people is not easy. I've lived with some really loud, obnoxious, inconsiderate, destructive people. I was very glad to get away from them. If you have money you won't be lonely because you can go and interact with people and travel. If you don't have money then it can be a major problem
I can see myself like him.😢 Theres nothing we can do, this is the reality
Godbless you love from Australia I have prayed for you I am alone to it’s so hard I’m glad your daughter is in your life ❤❤❤
Why can't Cathy go as well?
This was an adorable video.❤
background tune is overwhelming, difficult to understand what you both are saying.
AGREE!! 😕
I ve been alone for years, I'm ok with it I have apt, 2 dogs, I would leave my pets for anything, either seems like a nice gentleman. 😊
Very sweet man.
Living alone is the most peaceful life
Your dad is a doll Melinda ❤.thank you so much for sharing him with us.please give him a hug for me.can you kiss Cathy for me , my cat is in the vet and I think she will die .i love cats and am broken hearted about my cat .please hug Cathy
I’m in the same boat. We solo folks need to get together.💔💔💔
I love your lovely Daddy ❤
I can see that you really love your dad. It is definitely lonely staying all by himself . Passing time is difficult. Maybe you guys can spend weekends with him. That would be great. Take care of your dad n love him. God bless you guys.
We will love to see you cook your recipe one day. It looks very good.
Keep the cat for your dad..is keeping him company❤❤❤❤❤
It is indeed hard to be alone.
I personally has trained myself to be able to cope with loneliness. But how?
First, one must acknowledge that loneliness is just a mental state which has been created through past experiences. Past experiences for example one has got many friends and the life long living with wife and children. Without them being around, the mental state of “loneliness” arises and sadness follows. And sadness itself is also a negative mental state, good or bad feeling is also a mental state.
How to get rid of the negative mental state? One can join a volunteering charitable group, go to churches or temples, these are wholesome places which creates positive thoughts. Slowly the self-centred egoistic personality will disappear. The negative state of mind will also disappears. Loneliness will also disappear.
Tq Melinda for sharing this. Yr dad is still healthy, he just doesn't want to impose on anyone. I can understand that. May God bless him & u with good health always.
yes, i video down my mom cooking too. i only wish when i am 80+ and walk downstair to buy food
Sir, It's never to late to learn how to cook. It's an importatnt skill that will train you how to not need a recipe after awhile.
Do make sure to all those whos living alone especially elderly ppl.
Eveyday pls at least make a simple sms; vice versa to any childrens, frds, relatives or other immediate families etc to knw he/she r ok.
If theres no reply frm sms or calls, rush to their place!
U may nvr knw death could take place suddenly or unnoticed until the smells lingers.
Lots of lonely death cases lately.
👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻