I was widowed at 24, I raised my children, moved out of the country for 15 years. I’m back now, I like living alone. It is quiet and peaceful. All my choices are mine alone.
I lived with the same partner for 34 yrs and a couple of years ago I told him to leave. So been on my own since. Also I don't know anyone in the city I live. Everyone I did know is in the scene of things I don't want. It was the drug scene and I don't want to do that anymore at all. Plus I have social phobia so that doesn't help. I watched your video and I got to say I love the idea of the house 🏠 journal. That's something I will do. Even though I don't own this home I rent.
I was born single, became an orphan at the age of nine, immigrated from a tiny island to a new country at the age of 18yrs all by my lonesome self. I have lived on my own as a single parent, no family & no partner. I worked and took care of my self and my kid, and retired at 60. I did all the things others who had partners and family members did all by myself. I travelled to far away places on my own, I took myself to hospital emergency services and back home all on my own. I am now on my 72 year, still living on my own and living healthy happily. Life is Good!
You can never feel more alone than to live with someone who refuses to communicate! I left my husband because of his indifference towards me. I now live with my two dogs in a very secure village home. It's so nice to be able to do what you want, when you want! Viva being single! 👍😊🇬🇧
I'm glad you got out. My sister has been married to a narcissist for 30 years and he pays zero attention to her. I feel bad when I go to visit. It seems like such a depressing life. I wish she had the strength to move on.
I've been alone since I was 34; I'm now 86. I'm in charge of the bank account, the TV remote, and the thermostat. I love it! I'm in perfect health, take no prescriptions, no stress.
Good for you, I am 76 years old live alone with my two dogs, and I’ve been on my own for 30 years. I was married to a narcissist for 24 years. The comparison of the two worlds is simply amazing! I am my own boss. I do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it, don’t have to answer to anyone. It is pure bliss! I also do organic gardening. Beautiful!
Ha, ha, ha...your Mama was ABSOLUTELY correct...nothing like a great book. Now add on nice walks, healthy meals, cleaning house, washing clothes and taking care of hygiene, and great films. YUP...no one can bark orders at you, ignore you, mock you, abuse you and so on....
@kimlarson7136 My mom told me the EXACT same thing 😂. She was so right! Books, cats, a strong belief in a Higher Power, and a killer sense of humor are what have kept me going strong for 65 years (not necessarily in that order). I loved this video and am now suscribed. Blessings to you and everyone on here from my 5 indoor kitties and me! 🤗🇲🇽
I have lived alone now for 14 years since my husband passed. We were together 43 years. I am thankful to my parents who prepared me to be self sufficient. At the age of 3 my father put a hammer and some nails in my hand and had me hammer them into a board. He had me watch him repair a toaster, fix a plug, and wire a outlet. At the age of 8 I helped him build a cinderblock garage and shingle the roof. They taught me how to grow a garden and my mother taught me how to bake, cook, can, freeze, and make jam. I learned to sew and for years made my own clothes and I learned to knit and crochet. While we were married my husband had me keep a budget and pay all the bills. When the time came to be alone I was well prepared. It more than likely will happened to every one at some point in their life so the key is to learn things now and prepare for the inevitable. A friend of mine who divorced early in her marriage started to volunteer with habitat for humanity. She now can build anything. There are even homes that are built entirely by women.
All this is fine if you are not disabled and unable to get out on your own and do things, Otherwise you are just trapped and after losing your husband/carer, please tell me how to manage. I keep occupied as much as possible with computer, and reaching out to others. I also have carers who see to my foods etc. and help but loneliness is the major problem and grief at losing my loved one of so many years.
@@rosefenton3005 I am very fortunate to be in good health for being 79. I have lived here for 54 years and never had family close by. My sister lives over 600 miles away. One child is over an hour drive away and the other 2 are a 5-7 hour drive. Fortunately I am still able to drive and can make those trips with no problem. I never had a lot of close friends but I love talking to people and no one is a stranger to me. No matter where I am I find people to connect with, if it is only to talk to someone walking down the street. Smile, say hi, and how are you. I also love to be outdoors and connect with nature. Those things banish any feelings of grief or loneliness. The one thing I do miss is having my husband to travel with. In the last 5 years my college roommate lost her husband and the two of us now travel together. The one thing I know I have that keeps me happy, content, and unafraid is a strong relationship with God. I know he loves me and that my loved ones who passed are watching over me. We choose the life we live and it is our mission to make the best of it and learn from it. We will be called home when our job here is finished.
I had to cut grass for the first time in my life. I was scared of losing an eye from a rock. I just told myself if teenage boys can do it, it can be done. I put some goggles on and got to work.🤗
I’m going to have to learn to cut the grass. I was so afraid of this exact thing that I hired a lawn service that I can’t afford. I’m taking inspiration from you. Thank you for voicing my fear. Now I’m going to go put my grown woman pants on and learn how to do this.
My mum has always said if a man can do it, it can't be that hard 😂. She's in her 90s so I forgive her sexism 😊 I've tackled a lot of repairs and really surprised myself. I am really fortunate to know folks in the trades I can go to for advice if common sense and online sources aren't helpful enough. The only thing I won't touch is electrical, that still scares me.
Great video for women. Being without a "man" is not some failure on your part. Being alone does NOT mean you are lonely. Thriving is way better than surviving.
Have a pin somewhere that says I used to be lonely, then I got a divorce.😂 Being married is no cure for loneliness. I enjoy snore - free sleep, warm rooms in winter and reading in peace and quiet without a TV on. Have my own power tools. Life is good. 😊
Safety concern.....the only time my financial, physical, emotional and psychological safety was compromised was at the hands of family members...... Living alone has been safer for me. And don't get too trapped in routines feeling like they give you a false sense of control. My sister and mother were completely OCD with their routines....and control. The one thing I love about living alone is I don't need to set a whole lot of rules and routines for myself. I have the freedom of flexibility.
Yes, you are more likely to be assaulted by someone you know rather than someone breaking into your home. That's statistically pretty rare. Also, even if you are married you will be out alone while working or shopping, etc. I don't really think security is a good reason to partner up.
Recently widowed, I’m still profoundly grieving, about to move to a smaller house, and feeling vulnerable. Watching and listening to you has been such a comfort and inspiration to me, and thank you from the bottom of my broken heart. You’ve given me the courage to learn how to do things my precious husband always did for us, and as I listened I made careful notes of your wonderful and down-to-earth suggestions. Please know that I’ve saved your video and will continue to refer to it as I learn and adjust to being alone. May God bless you for your very valuable help.
@@robertwalker5521 You need to choose where you walk. I live in South Africa and walk alone every day, often late at night. But I choose a safe area, and if necessary, walk in a large shopping mall (one with cinemas, so it stays open late). The area I live in is not safe to walk in but is OK to drive in. I guess it helps that I'm tall and walk with a confident stride. Some single women I know prefer walking early in the morning, because the "baddies" tend to wake up later.
I'm alone for the first time in my 45 years. I've always had my parents or a husband. I lost all 3 in the past as many years. 💔 So I'm new to this. Thank you for this channel. I wanna cry, but im not gonna! Ty
You can do this. If you don't know how to do something, just google it. There are videos of how to do everything. Ask friends or neighbors for help if you have to. I've been single most of my life. I've learned to love it. Remember, you can do this❣️
If you can colour-in in a colouring book, you can paint your house…outside and inside. During the pandemic I bought a good light adjustable ladder and 10 litres of paint and painted my entire house…at 60. It’s easy, it takes longer than a professional painter but it doesn’t matter. I saved $20,000 by painting my house myself.
LIBRARIES !! visit as often as you can.. its not just book, they have computer classes, exercise classes, book clubs, social events, volunteer opportunities, free movies weekly, tax preparation, senior resources and events, games and knitting circles...i love the library
I'm 67, still working a fulltime job and have lived alone since my mid-twenties. I had so many bad roommates in college that I don't think I can ever live with someone again. I admit it does get lonely sometimes, but I prefer that feeling to the trauma of living with someone who doesn't pull their fair share, has a toxic personality, or invites guests into my home without my approval. I love being able to do what I want when I want and not having to answer to anyone but myself. I look at the helplessness of some newly-divorced women who never worked or balanced a check book and feel secure in the knowledge that I can take care of myself.
I got divorced about 15 years ago. For me it was a lot easier than hoping my slacker husband would ever help me with anything outside him going to work. He would always tell me he would do it later, knowing full well he had no intention. I learned to do all the “man’s work” myself as a result. I went to work, did all the child raising, all the cleaning, yard work, shopping, cooking, then started working on the car etc. The stress of the resentment over what he wasn’t doing was great. I thought it would be hard, being alone, but I just knew it was all on me, and it really always had been. Letting go of the expectation of help was the healthiest thing that could have happened to me. We had taken our kids camping a few times and felt afraid, afraid of wild animals, afraid of humans more. After the divorce I took my kids alone, and you know what? I wasn’t afraid. I had been afraid because he was afraid. He even brought a gun and I didn’t. Being alone can be uncomfortable and scary at times, yes it can be hard, but also we are stronger than we believe we are. ❤
Oh he was gem! 2 words for you: good riddance! When I read stories like yours, I don't feel that bad about being single. You were all alone in your marriage. Now THAT is really scary. Good for you, let a loser like him pick up that trash.
Yeap, my first fella, well.he said never to nag him. I asked what he defined as.'nagging?' ... his reply "something I don't want to hear twice." "Ok, I'll mention it once, to see if we can do it? If I can't do it, I'll ASK you once, then after a week if it isn't done YOU will pay the bill, for whoever does it? Strangely we never argued over house stuff, house was always up together. Sadly we fell out over having children.
Same here. Eleanor Roosevelt said, you must do the thing you think you cannot do. Someone also said, feel the fear and do it anyway. It is so liberating, enlightning, and awesome! Live your life! Free yourself! Find the life you love and create that for yourself!
I"ve been alone for 30+ years after being married for 28. It has taken time to adjust to the fact that I have to take out the trash. I am glad i live in an apartment so all maintenence is taken care of for me. Sometimes i wish i had a hubby again and then i slap myself, count my blessings and get on my knees and thank God I am alone. I had houses for a time and a drill and ladder. At 44 started my own business. Retired at 64 and am 79 now. Thankful for the gift of life. Faith in Christ saw me through. Can"t thank Him enough.
Amen! Do you still use your drill and ladder? I just recently gave up the ladder (got a 2 stepper) after a scary fall. As for the drill, got a project today. I'm not great at it but I keep my hand in.
We are never alone when we have Christ- spending time with Him in His word starts every day fresh and with contentment. I’m 79 and simple things are just so refreshing- a walk, a book, music and taking someone who really is lonely out to eat- there are several in my church that just need a listening ear- when we do for others to lift them up out of their sadness it lifts us up more. Each day is a gift-
I have lived alone since high school. I have had to learn to make my way through life including going to college later in life. I will be 76 next month and I have learned to do almost everything that has to be done including carpentry work, some electrical, even put on a metal roof all by myself when I was 68. I have a rental which I keep up and rent out as well as keeping up my own home. I have not regreted my choice in life maybe because I do not have to answer to anyone about anything. Yes, I have friends and I listen to their advice and then do what I think is best for me. As someone has already said, Life is good and I feel I am living "the good life"!
I lost my life partner two years ago and moved up to WA state to be near my daughter. The plan was to put an ADU on her property and I would help around the farm. Long story short, that did not happen. I now find myself living alone for the first time in a new place at the age of 65 😲. I've tried making friends by volunteering, etc. but not much luck so far. I was feeling so lost, BUT when you mentioned "how to workshops" at Home Depot, etc. I got excited! I could meet new people AND learn much needed new skills!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! 😀
I completely understand! My advice is to make sure you are surrounded by like minded people, you will have more chance of making new friends. I moved 4 years ago and I absolutely love it and now a church where I am meeting lots of nice people.
I’m so glad I ran across your video. As a recent widow, I’m navigating new territory. While I was caregiver for my husband, I dealt with an opossum that got underneath our house and started coming up through heat ducts, a broken garage door, and ice maker issues. Although I’ve always handled most of the finances, cleaning, cooking etc., I’m now finding a lot of maintenance issues to deal with. He had a huge semi professional shop and years of cleaning out accumulated stuff I’m slowly going through. I found a great deal on a light weight Rubbermaid step ladder on Amazon and just came across my electric screw driver. I’m starting to gain confidence in some of these heavier maintenance duties. Although my family lives on the other side of the US, I’m blessed they call daily and I have great neighbors and friends. Thank you for reminding me We Can Do It!
All good information ~ if I may add, I keep my home clean and maintained for myself, decorate for holidays for myself, hang seasonal wreaths and put pillows on my porch bench for myself, I stock tasty things to eat and drink for myself and eat off of nice plates and drink from coffee mugs with no chips and nice stem ware - basically treat myself as I would any guest with love and respect for my comfort. I am no waiting for the next thing to happen ~ it is happening everyday - Me! On the flip side, I know no One is coming to rescue me from a back up sink, noisy neighbor or broken doorlock - it's on me to get recommendations for local vendors, fight my own battles, have emergency funds available and a wet/dry shop vac plus tools ready for service.
Yes I have the best of what I can afford. Lovely chinaware, bedding, perfume, clothes. Most of my life as a single mother I had very little. One day my young daughter said, mum I never see you buy clothes. I said because I don't have the money to. I saw my mother live with a WW11 mentality although she had lovely things but hung onto everything. As for me, i'm going down in style.
I’ve was a widow at 54 and have lived alone ever since. Five years later I moved to the other side of the world (literally - Africa to New Zealand) bought a house and have been happily living on my own ever since - 26 years. At 80 I am still confident to make all my own decisions! 😊
As a woman who lives on her own most of the time and not liking it very much, I found this video really uplifting. I've always been the DIY person in my family and when my husband became incapacitated through illness, I took over all the running of the house finances (I called it driving the desk) I've never understood women feeling less than equal to any man. In my experience women seem to fare much better when they find themselves living alone. Each morning I look at the beautiful garden I created, each evening I move around my lovely home knowing where each object is (in its appropriate place!) And I love not having to consult a committee if I feel like making changes. I just miss my lovely husband who died 15 years ago. A gentle gentleman and good fun. Loved the video footage of the bear and the cougar.
Just subscribed. Lived alone most of my life, but as I've gotten older (60's) I've become anxious about increased vulnerability and lessening energy. Your video reminded me of the strong woman I've always been and the four areas I can focus on to reclaim my sense of independence. Thank you.
I am similar age as you, I lift weights and eat a high protein diet which keeps me strong and healthy. I cut my own grass and can move furniture around with ease. As we age we lose muscle and strength, hence becoming weaker and dependent on others. Weight lifting and a diet of meat eggs and dull fat dairy is best.
I am 76. Yes, as we age we can expect some health issues. I recently tore a rotator cuff in my arm, went to a physical therapist for over four months, did resistance training, and I’m almost as good as new. Yes, issues will come, but one by one we do our best and keep moving. my two dogs and organic gardening are the highlights of my life. I own almost 7 acres, mow the grass myself, do all the work of gardening myself, and I believe it keeps me strong and moving.
I was in a relationship and moved to Oregon to be with Him, all of a sudden he changed or did he? He shut me out, he shut down and literally told me this conversation is over. Days went by I tried talking and he wanted no part so I packed my bags and flew across country home to Florida! No one deserves to be ignored like that, especially when they ARE IN THE RELATIONSHIP SEXUALLY ETC. it’s cruel. He called me a month later saying he missed me and needed me back so he could be whole again. But he did defend himself when I left he was surprised and said it’s not like I cheated it’s not like I hit you but what he failed to see was it felt like a slap in the face and It felt like he cheated me out of a kind caring considerate man to comfort me and LISTEN AND TALK AND COMMUNICATE….and no, I didn’t go back
I moved 5 months ago from Canada to be with a man in Washington and he has given me nothing but love scraps and has lied to me and he thinks he's madly in love with me. I have to now move back to Canada as I feel I'm being ignored and I feel invisible to him. I am scared to make this change and I hate to give up on the dreams I had. But, I feel alone here and I think it's best to be alone when actually alone. I'm sorry you are going through this. It's horrible! I hope things improve for you.
We all fall for that....investing totally in someone else....it makes no sense...we are crazy. Find your own personal fulfilment with or without a partner... that's where I am now.
@@ananimity7332 wow if I could virtually hold your hand and leave with you so you won’t be alone I’d do it! I feel for you because that’s where I was five or so years ago! You can shine on your own and trust me I don’t think anything is worse than a partner ignoring you especially in the same house:( if I can help at all, even just a friend through here I’ll do it! And we deserve so much MORE! Don’t settle for a jerk! And I’m sorry jerks are in the world :(
Wow!!! This lady is a God sent angel!!! Angels don't always have feathery wings and fly around.....angels like this woman are rare. I am not on my own but who knows what's around the corner as I nearly lost my husband to covid in 2021. That event brought home to me the saying that "tomorrow is promised to no one"! Thank you for all you good advice and I'm sure you have been a life saver for many people. God Bless you Silver and Solo! Love from England.
It means you have to take responsibility for your own actions and at times it’s liberating because we all make mistakes but at least if you live alone you know who to blame and don’t you some feeble excuse like some do
Why would you need to blame someone for anything. It solves nothing and creates friction. It'll make you sick from frustration. Expectations unfulfilled are destroyers of joy.
The sincere expression, beautiful skin, kind voice, and honest blue eyes says it all...YES...you are happy, fulfilled, and content....Being ALONE can be absolutely WONDERFUL !!!!
Hi dear Good morning I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌺🌺🌺
A house journal is something everyone should have. My husband takes care of most things around the house. I realized after several friends whose husbands passed away struggled with the care of their home because their husbands took care of everything. Now I keep a record of things we do around our house, who to call when we need help, and when things need to be updated. I have my own tools.
I became alone as l turned 80 - 4 years ago. I moved to another country and still learning the language bought a house still learning how to manage it and this after a lifetime of having help. I must tell you every day is an adventure and it is as the best thing l could have done. Most of my friends still have their mouths open but want to visit. Weirdly enough the first year and a half because of COVID l was housebound going out once a week to buy groceries. Restaurants were closed but thankfully delivered. I have a garden and lots of books and a telephone so it was just a slight inconvenience.
Thank you for this video! I´m on my own for about 20 years. First as a single mom of 3 now as an empty nester. I´m in my 40´s. My kids were little when I got divorced. I had no money so I needed to do it all by myself. I couldn´t afford to pay someone. And I learned it all over the years. There is almost nothing I can´t do! Ladies - you can do it. You don´t need to be anxious. You are STRONG!
And you can learn. What you dont know how to do, you might be able to do tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. Try to do things you never thought you were able to do them and you might be amazed of yourself. Its a huge confidence boosters. When you can do things yourself you need to take less bullshit of other people trying to decide `whats best for you`.
I will second that. I’ve been alone for 30 years, after being married to a narcissist for 24. I was scared to death, but I did it anyway and I’m so grateful for my freedom, my enjoyment of life, my excitement in living, and organic gardening! Find what you love and go do it! Set yourself free.
I have been married (and divorced, unfortunately) three times in my life...I have lived by myself since 2002 when 2 children were finally launched and on their own. I love the solitude. I am 69 and love fixing my food, doing the laundry, and gardening -- especially the gardening. I mow the grass with a push mower and still work as a registered nurse. I have a German Shepherd Dog to keep me company. I love the challenge of home repairs...I love it!
Hi dear Good morning I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌺🌺🌺
Single since’77 and ❤️ it. I go where I want to go when I want to go, eat when I want to eat, what I want to eat, make or don’t make my bed, wash or choose to not do my dishes. I have a routine, do like reading, listening to music, playing games and making puzzles on my tablet, walking my dog, teaching virtually and taking virtual classes. I go to the gym and to the pool when I choose to. People ask if I’m lonesome. The answer is ‘NO’. I enjoy not having to plan for anyone but myself. I have four adult children, eight grandchildren and a great grandchild who I see when I want to see them. This is Heaven on earth. Highly recommended.
I never lived alone til 2 years ago when my husband of 56 years died. My 9 kids moved me into a condo from a 4 bedroom home. I am doing well, but it’s been a challenge. My husband took care of everything. I don’t mind living alone. I wouldn’t want anyone living with me. I love your channel! It will be very helpful to me!! ❤
No one can replace your husband. The way I think is, if I can live without my life partner , I can, I mean I have to manage alone, no choice. No dependence, no expectation, no obligation. Regards Sue from India.
I am sorry for the loss of your husband. Husbands sometimes forget that they enable their wife to not know some basics when they do everything. However, he was not pregnant for 81 months, he did not go through delivery of 9 kids, he did not cook and care for all those kids. He did not stay up nights with them when they were sick or experiencing kid problems. He did not do all the laundry for eleven people, he did not manage the home and keep it running smoothly. You were the heart beat of the home. You were it's life-blood. You were the love and loyalty when your kids came home from school every day. You gave from your heart and soul. The other things your husband did a person can learn. What you did comes from inside you. Please love yourself for all the wonderful things you do and have done. The rest will come to you in time and remember that the challenges make you stronger.
I’ve lived alone for my entire life!! It’s not always been easy, but, I did it. I thank God every day for what I have and how I’ve survived and thrived. I was a hairdresser for 44 years, in that time, I paid for a home, many cars, had a trailer set up at a campground for 7 years, have travelled a lot and still love going. I retied at 65 and even though I don’t have a pension, I did manage to squirrel a little away, but, also have the OAS, GIS and CPP. I am by no means rich, but, I had to learn to budget and be responsible for everything and am quite happy I did. All the best to you. Thanks for your insights.
@@WanderingBonnie-ck1eu Sorry, I should have explained that, and you are no dummy:) OAS is Old Age Security, GIS is Guaranteed Income Supplement, (this one is for when you only have the OAS and if you’re lucky worked outside the home and paid into the CPP) you receive the GIS to bring you up to a more liveable standard and CPP is Canada Pension Plan. So, the three combined give you a liveable amount, or near liveable. I’m fortunate that I own my own home mortgage free and no credit card debt. Have an awesome day!
I settled my own estate ... sold my primary residence and went into senior housing ... didn't want my kids to have to do it and I didn't want the maintenance involved with home ownership ...BUT I miss my garden and I'm not content to sit and look out the windows ... I expect to volunteer at a farm so I can watch Mother Nature and all her miracles!
I am 70 and picked up a lot of skills over the years. One at a time. Now I am retired, but live on 5 acres and have a native edibles food forest. I enjoy wandering the mountainside and identifying wild edibles. I preserve food for winter. Chores keep me up and moving.
My mother said many times, "I live alone, but I am not lonely." I am alone after an abusive relationship and I am loving being able to do what I want when I want, and I never have to please someone else. I couldn't be happier.
Oh, how BEAUTIFUL!! I'm so very curious where you live with such amazing wildlife!! 💓 I highly recommend adopting an older dog from a shelter/rescue, one well past the puppy stage. They are such a comfort and blessing, especially for those of us who live alone. 💜🐾💜
The stepladder is key. My mother has never expressed much appreciation for me. It’s just not who she is. But the one time she marveled at my achievement? Storing a stepladder on two nails hammered into the inside of a closet door. I speak three languages; I earned degrees from two prestigious US universities, and I’m a mid-level executive for a Fortune 100. But it was the stepladder on the door for her … 😂
You can have college degrees, or lived on your own, but if some dude isn’t married to her then nothing she’s done is appreciated. We are still the daughters of the forgotten generation who believe the goal was to get married by 22.
I've been alone for 20 years. I did great until I had three surgeries in 24 months. Now I'm 80 years old and I hurt badly. Using a cane and a walker. Can't begin to do the activities I could just two years ago. Yes it was great when I was younger, BUT prepare yourself for anything and everything as you age.
Why do you think having a husband or partner would make it any different? I’m 81, I’ve been living alone since my husband was killed in Vietnam. I was 24, I don’t want anyone living with me! Go to a assisted living or if not needed go to retirement community. Do things you really enjoy.
@@janetstotler399 Here's the thing, I had the absolute best husband in the world. He died at 63. That loss is felt every day. And I got out and did things until a year and a half ago. I've slipped a lot and just can't do what I use to. Darn it anyway. Good on you having a good experience in your 80's.
Dear Lady (Helen in UK here). I have just fallen in love with you ! And that's meant in the best possible taste. You were just what I was looking for. I fixed the low pressure on my boiler recently by watching videos. Having lost 5 people I loved over the last 30 months have been feeling bereft and alone. The landscape of my life has changed drastically. The principles of competency and therefore control can be applied in areas other than those mentioned, I think. Fingers crossed and thank you so much. Helen
One thing I always tell my women friends, is just try. If you try to do what you don't know how, you will find you can do 10 times more than you thought. I built a 12 foot mantel, pulled all doors out of the house and trim, replaced it all. Built 2 waterfalls, skim coated the basement. And 4 tile jobs, in my house. Repaired a lot of drywall. I bought tools as needed. You can do this.
Growing up, i had my parents, never alone. I was alone more, after I got married, and he wasn't a very nice person. So I divorce him, one of the happiest days of my life. I have two children, and raise 2 of my grandchildren. My father, taught us kids, if you want something, you work for it. So I was never afraid, of being by myself. In fact I love it. Didn't have to put up with my, ex- bull shit. I love being by myself. If I get lonely, I go and visit, family or friends.
I change my life radical 10 years ago and am now 43...... The more people around you, the more expectations, talk about others, lying, frustrations, negativity, jealousy, double standards, violent, hate, own benefits, double standards etc.... reflection of their broken souls. Alone or in solitude you have more strength, peace, power, happyness, freedom and time..... A lot of people are programmed robot slaves of the system thinking happyness starts with extern factors like status, money, material things that means nothing and its relativ and an illusion create by society. If your happyness depend on extern factors you will never be because extern factors are endless. Be the light in your own life
Your comment is so inspiring and so true. I was married for 24 years to a narcissist. I had no idea how beautiful, peaceful, and exciting a life could be on my own. I am my own boss. I am my own authority.I only do what I want to do, spend what I want to spend, go where I want to go when I want to go, and don’t have to answer to anyone. It is a fantastic, exciting, beautiful way to live.
@@spir5102 Yes, agree with you that getting rid of a narcissist is key to joy. Scary thing, though, being alone if you come down with a truly debilitating disease- so hard! I’ve seen it happen unfortunately - health is wealth in a million different ways.
@@spir5102 beautifull to hear.....and we all have our path to walk. We dont feel better then others but more be carefully and awake. I am alone to now for 6@7 years and live in solitude in a big city.....i want to go more to the forest later on. I love animals, nature and the simple things in life more then what the matrix tell what it is.....an illusion I dont care about material things, status, money (yes, we need it to live) ..... We come alone and goes alone and in between we are all guests.......do what makes you happy Blessed to you
My suggestions for security while living alone are as follows: -Get yourself a home security system with cameras. Some even have additional functions like alarms that can deter robbers or functions that can quickly or in some cases even automatically dispatch emergency services if a problem is detected. -Get yourself a dog. A large dog in particular can be especially intimidating to would-be intruders and could possibly physically protect you if needed. But if you can't handle a large dog, any size dog is better than no dog. Even small dogs bark, and that can often be enough to deter robbers. Plus, any dog comes with the added benefit of companionship, which you may find extra need for if you live alone. -Get trained in self-defense skills. This includes not only learning how to fight an attacker, but also how to best avoid attacks from happening to begin with. And of course, it should also include knowing how to handle weapons, which leads me to my next point... -Get a reliable self-defense weapon and know how to use it. Especially in America, you don't want to walk into a gun fight defenseless. Most likely you will never have to use it, but it's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. Go to a range and train with it too, in order to keep your skills fresh. -Keep a first aid kit and learn some basic first aid skills. In situations where violence has occurred, in particular it may be useful to know how to care for wounds and slow down heavy bleeding to increase your odds of survival if you were harmed. Obviously you should also call emergency services in those situations, if you hadn't already done so before. -This shouldn't have to be said, but obviously secure your home by closing/locking all of your doors/windows at night or when you're not home.
I am 48 and medically disabled with no income. I was independent for most of my middle age years as I raised my son alone and ran a business. Now I'm broke and broken from the experience and became dependent on a boyfriend so I don't end up homeless. It's been so difficult. DV has become a problem. I need to be independent again. I still don't know how while dealing with the disabilities but listening to your videos gives me some hope. You are a good speaker.
That's so tough. I'm in New Zealand and any woman can support herself here with government assistance. It's getting harder with rental costs but there's still a decent income on disability. And support. It's so wrong that wherever you are you cant break free from DV because the lack of support keeps you stuck there. I pray for you God provides a way out.
I was born with Cerebral Palsy I've been alone most but not all of my adult life. I receive Social Security Disability and so can you provided you have worked for at least 10 years, as Social Security says, 40 quarters. If your physical difficulty isn't obvious like mine, you probably will get denied when you first apply but don't give up. Almost every lawyer does some pro bono work. The best thing you have going for you and that will allow you to be independent is something you used before: your mouth. Ask for help when you need it. You won't be competent at everything but able-bodied people tend to act as if they are. It's an illusion. No one can do everything by or for herself. We are all interdependent. Learn and practice the difference between interdependence and codependence. That boyfriend you have isn't the only person within your sphere of influence who can do whatever you rely on him for. Use your mouth like Next Door. When I moved, for example, I put an ad in Next Door asking for help organizing boxes. We turned it into a fun neighborhood event and one of the people who came to help has become one of my dearest friends. It's not charity when it's mutual or when the other person makes a choice to help. I also judiciously use Social Services my CP entitles me to like paratransit. As I read this over to myself, I was afraid it might sound like a lecture but I don't mean it that way. I want you to know you're not alone and to give you a good motivational shot in the arm so that you can tell your abuser to stick it where the sun don't shine because you don't need him anymore. You are capable and you've already proven it. Hang in there one day at a time❤ you're not disabled; you're differently able. You are competent, unique and the world needs you, Just As You Are! I have already started praying for you.
@baxtercol I really LOVE what you just shared. It's actually a gift both ways when we get to help out someone else! I recall I had to move house single handed. I was in a new town and knew nobody and had no money to spare. Anyway I hired a trailer and decided I would have to ask strangers about to help if I got really stuck. Well..... would you believe it?! With every single heavier awkward item a person just appeared out of nowhere and offered to help! Passerby. I never had to ask a single person (but I sure was prepared to). It was a day my heart grew. God was looking out for me. None of us are truly alone.
My life as a Silver & Single was GREAT....... until 4 years ago as I was walking across my lawn to talk to the landscapers that I had hired for some heavy work..... I passed out & fell down. When I woke up, I was in an ambulance my way to ER. I had had "a series of strokes" per the Er Dr. My independent life hit a brick wall! Be sure you have a back-up plan for when your health goes bad, because it WILL!
I've been fortunate and have been happily married for 40 years now. But, as we age I begin to think of the time that my wonderful spouse will no longer be with me and I need to be prepared to understand the roles that he has traditionally taken care of, I'm glad I found your channel. Thank you.
Even when I was married, I was the one who took care of everything. I prefer being alone, nothing has changed. Not all of us had partners or parents who shared responsibility.
Hi dear Good morning I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌺🌺🌺
Very good tips! Been on my own for 26 years, including as a disabled woman for the past 15. One of my all-time favorite tools is my cordless screwdriver that comes with different bits. I use that thing ALL the time! Plus, it's great for arthritic hands. In my adult life, I've experienced bankruptcy, car repossession, long-term income tax pay schedules, and I've survived it all. My dad passed 19 years ago, but what shook my foundation was when Mom died, two years ago. That shook me.
What a treasure trove of common sense, so glad I happened on this. I went through a lot after my husband died, mostly mentioned here by this sensible, practical lady. Thank you so much!
Really enjoyed the simplicity and format of your video. I’ve been living alone only 2 years, kids away to uni. Before then single mum. Now just the dog and myself. This I appreciate so much. He’s not very helpful in the garden 😂alas I live here because he needs the space. But there is a lot to do to pay the rent, keep the place together esp. the garden now that spring is here. 10 + years ago at time of my divorce it was scary but I’m now so happy in my own space and your video just reinforced what I have achieved and what I cherish. I doubt I can live with a partner again……last time caused me so much trauma. Not to be repeated……Thanks for your work 😄👋❤
I was beginning to question myself about living alone after about the past 12 years. Relatives and friends are always telling me I should move closer to them or closer to places with a lot of amenities to socialize. I understand and appreciate that I have many who love an care about my health and well being but I have so many positive feelings and reasons for the choice that I have made. After reading all the comments posted here I am no longer going to question myself or doubt the choice to live where I live and live alone. All these comments have been so reaffirming. I want to live my life not theirs. Thank you ALL❤
Thank you - I am recently widowed after a 42 year marriage. He dealt with all the bills/d.i.y. etc. I do not know where to start!? A day at a time and help from people like you. Thank you
I live alone. My husband died a few years back. I always took care of the house maintenance and the yard, painting, plumbing, electrical, fixing, etc. None of this stuff was new to me when I began to live alone. I absolutely love it! I eat what and when I want, or not; I sleep when and how long I want; I travel when and where I want; I read, do hobbies/business stuff when I want; it’s great! I have the attitude, like you that I do what I’m comfortable with, what I can do or learn to do and what I can’t, I hire done! Easy, peasy! NO GUILT! I earn money, have a retirement plan, don’t feel pressured to work too hard or not take time off when needed. I always kept all manuals for small and large appliances of all types and date them as to when I bought them and when they were installed. But I love your house journal idea! It’s great because everything is in one central place, written down so you can go back and reference when things were done and for how much $$. Even the garden journal is there! What a great idea! My things are all separate and sometimes I can’t find what I’m looking for. I tend to put everything in my phone but then have to search back, maybe several years to find something. Your idea is better! Your journal must be HUGE after 35 years.
Dearest fellow silver haired solo! I'm 55, single, and moving to Merida Mexico for retirement and a less stressful situation. I applaud you and your channel. Most think YT is saturated but I think there is an audience for plain, straight, authentic talk from someone who's got some life experience in the rear view mirror. Simple is better and in your case it is working. Your channel will explode as you have a rare ability to really connect with the viewer. Bravo!
Losing your beloved husband of 44 years and being alone is very difficult but you don't have any choice than to adjust to your new life. Your video will inspire me as I have lost motivation to do anything. Thank you and regards Sue from India.
I think the best thing is not too worry so much about stuff. Just live your day healthy life and keep busy going places , meet people, join groups, go to the library for free activities, exercise at home or a gym, go to church there you will also find many new friends and activities. If you are older definitely go to the local senior centers. If you don’t have a car they pick you up sometimes and take you places. There are many classes and groups. Definitely get away from the TV and internet. Move, move ,move is the name of the game and don’t think so much about troubles. But on the other hand if you have troubles tackle them immediately, make that plan and do it. You will feel relief and happiness. ☮️☮️
I'm glad I found your channel. I'm 63, been single for 23 years. I enjoy living on my own. There are not enough UA-cam channels for the single person. Since I cook too much at one time, I turned it into batch cooking. Saves time and money.
Someone recently told me, in your middle or older age, the chickens come back to roost. We are the sum total of what we were doing for the last 30 years. Wow! So younger people, get your act together NOW! I'm there now and reflecting on my mistakes so I can do better in my senior years.
Very true! At 70 I have a sister-in-law who has relied on others all her life, never felt she had to pull her finger out, and now grizzles because her idea of fairness is that she should be as well off as her siblings who worked for what they’ve got.
I find that a bit harsh.My husband died when I was 64.My 3 children are all married with partners and children and careers etc.They are loving,caring children but I do not want to play the helpless female game.Two of them live interstate.I speak regularly to them and see the 3rd one weekly with her family.I am on my own because of life circumstances,not because I am a horrible person.Most widowers and widows I know are in the same circumstances.
Since I became solo, it has always been my policy to only pay to have things done which I cannot do myself. Sometimes, I know my limitations. Sometimes I have a crack at it, and find I can do it! (UA-cam is our friend!) Sometimes i have to admit defeat and call my son, or a professional. We are more competent than we think we are!
I’m 73 and been on my own for almost 3 years. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis and I can do some of the things you talk about but boy it’s painful. I love the things you are talking about. I’m going to start a house journal and do the things I can do and try to get into some routines. I do suffer from loneliness terribly. After 45 years of marriage and you lose your partner it’s,hard to overcome grief.
I am 74 and lost my husband 4 months ago after 53 years of marriage so my adjustment is just beginning. I have 2 small dogs that I love dearly. They are always here to greet me when I return home. We walk together every day. They sleep with me at night. We go to dog sport lessons to have fun together. I don't know how I would cope without them.
I’m almost 67 year old nurse, my place of employment is closing it’s doors so my last day at work is next Friday, I have a lifetime pension and a decent SS check so I won’t be rich but I’ll be comfortable, you spoke about your pain, I have been eating clean strict Ketovore for the last 5 weeks, down 17# and my pain is gone! Best wishes
Isn't keto a high protein/meat diet? A carnivore eats meat, an omnivore eats everything... a ketovore is on a keto diet. (just guessing) @@sandrajones7896
I've lived alone the majority of my life. (married for 12 yrs, but he wasn't in to doing much in the way of "chores") I can hang pictures, mirrors, shelves, spackle over holes such that you would never know they were there, paint, install light fixtures, door handles, cabinet pulls, clean my gutters, care for my yard, plant things that thrive, do minor repairs to plumbing, clean my water softener, etc. I own quite a few tools and rent power washers to clean my porch, sidewalk, and drive way. But truth is, I'm older and I hire most heavy chores out. (installing new flooring, picking up my front door to install weather stripping, etc) to save myself/protect my health. Having that list of reliable professionals (plumbing, electrical, roofer, etc.) is critical. These people are hard to come by. They over charge, they fail to do the work, etc. That list is golden. The advice to "take it in steps" and to slowly build your competency and confidence is important. UA-cam is a god send. You mentioned setting up a routine, I say YES! AND set up routine maintenance schedules (ie: change batteries in your smoke detectors, clean furnace filter, add salt to the water softener etc.) . Also look at every job you do related to maintenance. How will this be to maintain? I love landscaping work, but as I grew older I knew I did not want to carry and spread tons of mulch every year or two into my old age. I went towards more ground cover, more stone etc....things that rarely need replaced.)
I try to walk every afternoon for 30-40 minutes . I make several cups of tea a day. I own some lovely cups that I bought particularly to make drinking tea seem an enjoyable ritual . Gardening helps for activity and growing fresh herbs . Herbs are easier than veggies 💕
I was terrified to live alone not because I was afraid of the responsibilities. I was afraid of loneliness. Celebrating my 10th year living in my little house with my three dogs (so not exactly alone), I absolutely LOVE my freedom and responsibilities. Rarely am I actually lonely! Life on my terms. Great video…thanks!
Realtors and Next Door are great sources for a good handyman/woman. When I was young and broke, male friends would help me. This is not a good idea unless you can make a legitimate trade, not some unspoken expectation…if you know what I mean. 😂
I have been financially responsible for basically every decision even though I’m married. My husband trusts me to make those decisions. He does a lot of the cleaning and even makes me breakfast on most days. I have my own tools. We are both retired and love to travel.
Laughed when I heard "buy a step-ladder". Had to buy one when I found myself single and needing to reach for things. 😊 And absolutely the need for just a few basic tools
I have one for almost every room in my house. Good, sturdy ones that fold up to store. They definitely lower the hurdle of procrastination about simple tasks like changing light bulbs, etc. 😂
Great video, great topic. Mostly I live alone. My son travels a lot for work and play so my place is his pit stop. I'm retired and lazy, procrastinator, clutterer, etc. etc. I do actually try but not routinely. Right now my living room, dining and kitchen are all clean and clutter free. I think I've conquered this one. The only other routine I have is cleaning the bathroom weekly, ceiling to floor. Exercise is dread for me, so I incorporate it in my day. As I meander through my home, at any given moment I'll be marching, or squatting or wall pushups or arm lifts, etc. And sometimes I even get on my Gazelle exercise thingy. When I'm being really lazy, I tell myself, ok you can sit here 15 more minutes then go do something productive, mostly it works because I feel guilty. I have many interests, interests that leave clutter which includes reading and books are everywhere but I love all my stuff. I made homemade bread today. Baking is my other messy interest. Well I've unloaded the good and the bad. Thanks for your input, great reminders and look forward to viewing your other videos. I'm a retired RN and mostly recall working so hard what seemed all my life. So guess what? I purposely give myself a break - probably shouldn't but self indulgence can be an inspiration.
As someone in the same situation....My biggest tip is... being 'alone' and being 'lonely' are two very separate things.celebrate your single state..say yes to any social occasion you can ... . As for the having to do 'everything'..remember nobody is good at everything..Rainy days are for inside jobs Sunny days are for outside jobs.. just have a go, do what you can when you can.. practice.... I surprised myself during lock down by doing a bit of plastering and repairing a floor joist took me 4 months but it got done ( my ex would have taken 6 months just to think about it) ....70, arthritic, challenged mobility, main quality is perseverance , can't get up a ladder any more yes, had to get a roofer in for the gutters, still trying to do the garden .......and I have gadgets.. lots of gadgets.😄
I admire you for doing these things. In my 29 year marriage I did everything while working full time. My husband didn't want to learn and I wanted to save the money, so I learned how to do many things. It made me happy.
My mother said many times, "I live alone, but I am not lonely." I am alone after an abusive relationship and I am loving being able to do what I want when I want, and I never have to please someone else. I couldn't be happier.
It was a pivotal moment in my life when I realized you don’t have to be always sweet to a man to get stuff done. Hiring out the work you can’t do yourself is so freeing. Women are just as capable as men. I have done all kinds of stuff I never thought a woman can do .
I have lived on my own for forty years and at the age now of eighty I can truthfully say that I love it. Yes, you do feel a little vulnerable when nearing eighty but it's good to feel that you are the one to fix that. I have recently been diagnosed with cancer and am having treatment. I consider myself very fortunate. I do what I can when I can. I agree with you about the tool kit and ladder and like you I would not clean out the gutters but I have only just stopped doing that.
This is Elisa (not John). I am an ovarian cancer survivor and on remission for almost 12 years now. I went the environmental health medicine route (not the conventional treatment using chemo or radiation). So grateful to God for the specialist that looked after me who is now a retired Clinical Professor from the University of Alberta Hospital in Edmonton, Canada. ❤
I just found your channel. I’m 75 and a widow since I was 53. I too love living alone. I wish you were around then. I’ve muddled through but the house journal is a great idea. I call it you tube university. I have learned so much. I’ll keep coming back for more hints💐
I have been married for 50 years next month. I went from my parents home to being married. My husband is so proficient at so many things that I’ve never had the need to learn these things. He wanted to always take care of me. I have been blessed by that. However I’ve never learned his skills and with him being older I know someday I will be alone. I’ve begun learning under his supervision and am doing well at the things I’ve learned. I think he is impressed by my wanting to learn. I’m less stressed by what the future holds because of it.
If all you had was a man to take care of you, of course, you’d feel that way. I’d say a widow would be more financially secure and should be mature enough to be alone after a while. After that you’d know my never married life of paying for everything with no Social Security from a dead spouse.
A wonderful look at taking responsibility for one’s life.At 77, I’m not getting an electric drill but happy with my handyman. I will put more emphasis on routines. Thank you.
I am enjoying your videos very much. My husband passed away almost 2 years ago & I am getting used to living alone for the first time at age 70. Fortunately I have always been responsible for most of the things that you spoke about except for the handyman type things. I am trying to get there now. Keep the videos coming!
Accidentally found you and now I won't let you go! You will have 1 million subscribers by year end. Thank you for your time, knowledge and content. I appreciate you
OMG! So glad I found your chanel. My husband of 40 yrs passed last month, and this is exactly what I need, a common sense guide to living alone. Routines are especially helpful to me. I was his sole caregiver for 6 yrs, with the last 2 being really busy. So I feel as though I went from 60 to 0 on a dime. No matter how small or insignificant, they are comforting and calmimg for me. Thanks for sharing. 😍
I was widowed at 24, I raised my children, moved out of the country for 15 years. I’m back now, I like living alone. It is quiet and peaceful. All my choices are mine alone.
What country did you go?
Living alone is glorious and infinitely better than living with the wrong person.
You can say that again! My mom always says you don’t know someone until you live with them and it’s very true!
@JobsApp-qz4ws if you're alone you may as well be, literally, alone!
@JobsApp-qz4ws I wouldn't know as I don't allow people who attack to stick around.
I lived with the same partner for 34 yrs and a couple of years ago I told him to leave. So been on my own since. Also I don't know anyone in the city I live. Everyone I did know is in the scene of things I don't want. It was the drug scene and I don't want to do that anymore at all. Plus I have social phobia so that doesn't help. I watched your video and I got to say I love the idea of the house 🏠 journal. That's something I will do. Even though I don't own this home I rent.
@@tracybrewer3377 good for you. Best of luck.
I was born single, became an orphan at the age of nine, immigrated from a tiny island to a new country at the age of 18yrs all by my lonesome self. I have lived on my own as a single parent, no family & no partner. I worked and took care of my self and my kid, and retired at 60. I did all the things others who had partners and family members did all by myself. I travelled to far away places on my own, I took myself to hospital emergency services and back home all on my own. I am now on my 72 year, still living on my own and living healthy happily. Life is Good!
Amazing
I admire you! It can't have been easy. Well done, you!
Inspiring!
That is amazing.
Admirable & Inspiring.
You can never feel more alone than to live with someone who refuses to communicate! I left my husband because of his indifference towards me. I now live with my two dogs in a very secure village home. It's so nice to be able to do what you want, when you want! Viva being single! 👍😊🇬🇧
I'm glad you got out. My sister has been married to a narcissist for 30 years and he pays zero attention to her. I feel bad when I go to visit. It seems like such a depressing life. I wish she had the strength to move on.
Well done, being alone is blessing. Me too lonely marriage.
Same.
Absolutely! The most lonely I ever felt was when I was married. I’m single and never lonely now.
The loneliest thing in the world is being in a relationship that you don’t want to be in.
I've been alone for 25 years. My Dad always used to say " You are you're own best friend"
Agree.
That's so sweet and it's great advice!
Agree 100% with 👨
Agree with your dad 100 percent
@@pallavisreetambraparni6995 Thank You. Miss him to bits. He was one of my best friends as well as being my Dad.
I've been alone since I was 34; I'm now 86. I'm in charge of the bank account, the TV remote, and the thermostat. I love it! I'm in perfect health, take no prescriptions, no stress.
Good for you, I am 76 years old live alone with my two dogs, and I’ve been on my own for 30 years. I was married to a narcissist for 24 years. The comparison of the two worlds is simply amazing! I am my own boss. I do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it, don’t have to answer to anyone. It is pure bliss! I also do organic gardening. Beautiful!
🙏🌼🌻🙏
That’s why you are in good health….no partner to get permission for every move/thought. You are in control.
Thank you, I feel inspired. I've been living alone for 26 years now. I'm happy in my own simple way.
.Good for you...well done...
My mom taught me that if you learn to love to read, you will have a friend for life. Looks like you have lots of friends.
Ha, ha, ha...your Mama was ABSOLUTELY correct...nothing like a great book. Now add on nice walks, healthy meals, cleaning house, washing clothes and taking care of hygiene, and great films. YUP...no one can bark orders at you, ignore you, mock you, abuse you and so on....
I LOVE to read, paint, there are so many things to do.
That is so true!
@kimlarson7136 My mom told me the EXACT same thing 😂. She was so right! Books, cats, a strong belief in a Higher Power, and a killer sense of humor are what have kept me going strong for 65 years (not necessarily in that order).
I loved this video and am now suscribed. Blessings to you and everyone on here from my 5 indoor kitties and me! 🤗🇲🇽
@@MexicoDigDoctorHi back to your kitties and you. 😊
I have lived alone now for 14 years since my husband passed. We were together 43 years. I am thankful to my parents who prepared me to be self sufficient. At the age of 3 my father put a hammer and some nails in my hand and had me hammer them into a board. He had me watch him repair a toaster, fix a plug, and wire a outlet. At the age of 8 I helped him build a cinderblock garage and shingle the roof. They taught me how to grow a garden and my mother taught me how to bake, cook, can, freeze, and make jam. I learned to sew and for years made my own clothes and I learned to knit and crochet. While we were married my husband had me keep a budget and pay all the bills. When the time came to be alone I was well prepared. It more than likely will happened to every one at some point in their life so the key is to learn things now and prepare for the inevitable. A friend of mine who divorced early in her marriage started to volunteer with habitat for humanity. She now can build anything. There are even homes that are built entirely by women.
All this is fine if you are not disabled and unable to get out on your own and do things, Otherwise you are just trapped and after losing your husband/carer, please tell me how to manage. I keep occupied as much as possible with computer, and reaching out to others. I also have carers who see to my foods etc. and help but loneliness is the major problem and grief at losing my loved one of so many years.
@@rosefenton3005 I am very fortunate to be in good health for being 79. I have lived here for 54 years and never had family close by. My sister lives over 600 miles away. One child is over an hour drive away and the other 2 are a 5-7 hour drive. Fortunately I am still able to drive and can make those trips with no problem.
I never had a lot of close friends but I love talking to people and no one is a stranger to me. No matter where I am I find people to connect with, if it is only to talk to someone walking down the street. Smile, say hi, and how are you. I also love to be outdoors and connect with nature. Those things banish any feelings of grief or loneliness. The one thing I do miss is having my husband to travel with. In the last 5 years my college roommate lost her husband and the two of us now travel together.
The one thing I know I have that keeps me happy, content, and unafraid is a strong relationship with God. I know he loves me and that my loved ones who passed are watching over me. We choose the life we live and it is our mission to make the best of it and learn from it. We will be called home when our job here is finished.
Wow,HowFantasticIsThat!!ImSoProudOfYou!
Thanx 4 the information. Gr8 help, It's all abt knowledge & planning.
God bless you
I had to cut grass for the first time in my life. I was scared of losing an eye from a rock. I just told myself if teenage boys can do it, it can be done. I put some goggles on and got to work.🤗
ItNeverDawnedOnMe..losingeyesByCuttingGrass
I’m going to have to learn to cut the grass. I was so afraid of this exact thing that I hired a lawn service that I can’t afford. I’m taking inspiration from you. Thank you for voicing my fear. Now I’m going to go put my grown woman pants on and learn how to do this.
My mum has always said if a man can do it, it can't be that hard 😂. She's in her 90s so I forgive her sexism 😊 I've tackled a lot of repairs and really surprised myself. I am really fortunate to know folks in the trades I can go to for advice if common sense and online sources aren't helpful enough. The only thing I won't touch is electrical, that still scares me.
Great video for women. Being without a "man" is not some failure on your part. Being alone does NOT mean you are lonely. Thriving is way better than surviving.
so true
I totally agree 😊
100%! 'A man is not a plan.'
Have a pin somewhere that says I used to be lonely, then I got a divorce.😂 Being married is no cure for loneliness. I enjoy snore - free sleep, warm rooms in winter and reading in peace and quiet without a TV on. Have my own power tools. Life is good. 😊
@@serenakoleno9338 That's great. I completely agree 😊
I often felt lonely even with a partner.
Now I am with myself and have dogs. This is so much fun. No lonelyness, no fear, lots of exercise.
I also now eat and cook for both the dogs and me. Nothing like boiled chicken and rice. yum yum. Cheaper than my ex's bartabs!
I totally agree - John Burroughs (naturalist/essayist) wrote ' with a dog you are alone and not alone;
you have both companionship and solitude'
Loneliness?
I couldn’t imagine coming back home to a human. I have a couple dogs and I’m happy.
Amen to that!
Safety concern.....the only time my financial, physical, emotional and psychological safety was compromised was at the hands of family members...... Living alone has been safer for me. And don't get too trapped in routines feeling like they give you a false sense of control. My sister and mother were completely OCD with their routines....and control. The one thing I love about living alone is I don't need to set a whole lot of rules and routines for myself. I have the freedom of flexibility.
En
👍👍👍
I have routines and chronic illnesses. I make a plan knowing it may change depending on my health. P.S. Your wild critters are much larger than mine.
Yes, you are more likely to be assaulted by someone you know rather than someone breaking into your home. That's statistically pretty rare. Also, even if you are married you will be out alone while working or shopping, etc. I don't really think security is a good reason to partner up.
Well said!!!!!
Recently widowed, I’m still profoundly grieving, about to move to a smaller house, and feeling vulnerable. Watching and listening to you has been such a comfort and inspiration to me, and thank you from the bottom of my broken heart. You’ve given me the courage to learn how to do things my precious husband always did for us, and as I listened I made careful notes of your wonderful and down-to-earth suggestions. Please know that I’ve saved your video and will continue to refer to it as I learn and adjust to being alone. May God bless you for your very valuable help.
Wishing you much strength on your journey. I know it's hard, but trust me you will do better than you ever thought you could.
It takes time. Honor your grief and your self. Create a new normal and live the way your husband would want for you.
Bless you 💕 all the best embarking on your new chapter whilst honouring your memories ❤
So sorry for your loss. Prayers for you.
❤❤❤
I’ve lived alone for 20 years and love it. Never feel lonely , only time I felt that was when I was married
How sadButTruth..
My routine is going for a walk everyday pray first
There are dome dangers to walking alone
in early mornings
Off course I go for a walk around ten am @@robertwalker5521
@@robertwalker5521 You need to choose where you walk. I live in South Africa and walk alone every day, often late at night. But I choose a safe area, and if necessary, walk in a large shopping mall (one with cinemas, so it stays open late). The area I live in is not safe to walk in but is OK to drive in. I guess it helps that I'm tall and walk with a confident stride. Some single women I know prefer walking early in the morning, because the "baddies" tend to wake up later.
SoundLikeBestRoutineIeverRead
Lost my husband 7 years ago. My daughter is studying far. I am taking baby steps to be self reliant. Living alone.
"You're putting the best person in charge"--PREACH! I have all the responsibility, but also ALL of the control.
Yes. That really struck me. Such a powerful and true saying.
I'm alone for the first time in my 45 years. I've always had my parents or a husband. I lost all 3 in the past as many years. 💔 So I'm new to this. Thank you for this channel. I wanna cry, but im not gonna! Ty
You can do this. If you don't know how to do something, just google it. There are videos of how to do everything. Ask friends or neighbors for help if you have to. I've been single most of my life. I've learned to love it. Remember, you can do this❣️
Hello dear 🌺 how are you and your family?
CryIfYouWantTo..CryDear..itMakeYouFeelSoMuchBetter..prayToGodwhatsOnyourMind..asIfYourTellingYourBestFriend..HeHearYou..startPouringYOurHeartOutToHim,HeWillAnswertoYOuHeart..YouwillKnowHisVoice..askGodToGuideYourlife..ItwillbeAllRight
If you can colour-in in a colouring book, you can paint your house…outside and inside.
During the pandemic I bought a good light adjustable ladder and 10 litres of paint and painted my entire house…at 60.
It’s easy, it takes longer than a professional painter but it doesn’t matter.
I saved $20,000 by painting my house myself.
Love your comment!
10 liters of paint goes a loooong way 😅
Really?
I did the same, it was tiring and took a long time, but its one foot after the other, and voila ! you get there. The result is really amazing.
@@SIERRATREES one corner /wall of a chamber after the other, one chamber after the other. easy does it
Having all the work and responsability but also all the benefit and a lot of peace.
responsibility*
LIBRARIES !! visit as often as you can.. its not just book, they have computer classes, exercise classes, book clubs, social events, volunteer opportunities, free movies weekly, tax preparation, senior resources and events, games and knitting circles...i love the library
Yes me too. The library has always been my second home.
I love the library.
Yes ! Too right.
libraries, are great, agreed
Don’t forget the recording studio also at the library !! I love to record my hits there ❤❤❤from Poland 🇵🇱
I'm 67, still working a fulltime job and have lived alone since my mid-twenties. I had so many bad roommates in college that I don't think I can ever live with someone again. I admit it does get lonely sometimes, but I prefer that feeling to the trauma of living with someone who doesn't pull their fair share, has a toxic personality, or invites guests into my home without my approval. I love being able to do what I want when I want and not having to answer to anyone but myself. I look at the helplessness of some newly-divorced women who never worked or balanced a check book and feel secure in the knowledge that I can take care of myself.
That's the spirit!👏🏼
I got divorced about 15 years ago. For me it was a lot easier than hoping my slacker husband would ever help me with anything outside him going to work. He would always tell me he would do it later, knowing full well he had no intention.
I learned to do all the “man’s work” myself as a result.
I went to work, did all the child raising, all the cleaning, yard work, shopping, cooking, then started working on the car etc.
The stress of the resentment over what he wasn’t doing was great. I thought it would be hard, being alone, but I just knew it was all on me, and it really always had been.
Letting go of the expectation of help was the healthiest thing that could have happened to me.
We had taken our kids camping a few times and felt afraid, afraid of wild animals, afraid of humans more.
After the divorce I took my kids alone, and you know what? I wasn’t afraid. I had been afraid because he was afraid. He even brought a gun and I didn’t. Being alone can be uncomfortable and scary at times, yes it can be hard, but also we are stronger than we believe we are. ❤
Oh he was gem! 2 words for you: good riddance! When I read stories like yours, I don't feel that bad about being single. You were all alone in your marriage. Now THAT is really scary. Good for you, let a loser like him pick up that trash.
Yeap, my first fella, well.he said never to nag him. I asked what he defined as.'nagging?' ... his reply "something I don't want to hear twice."
"Ok, I'll mention it once, to see if we can do it? If I can't do it, I'll ASK you once, then after a week if it isn't done YOU will pay the bill, for whoever does it?
Strangely we never argued over house stuff, house was always up together. Sadly we fell out over having children.
Same here. Eleanor Roosevelt said, you must do the thing you think you cannot do. Someone also said, feel the fear and do it anyway. It is so liberating, enlightning, and awesome! Live your life! Free yourself! Find the life you love and create that for yourself!
My comment was deleted because I said your ex was trash. By your description, he was trash in my books. Oh well.
Same here... I did it all...my husband stopped working in 1998...and I was rowing the boat alone....I left him in 2011 and never looked back !! 💗💗💗
I"ve been alone for 30+ years after being married for 28. It has taken time to adjust to the fact that I have to take out the trash. I am glad i live in an apartment so all maintenence is taken care of for me. Sometimes i wish i had a hubby again and then i slap myself, count my blessings and get on my knees and thank God I am alone. I had houses for a time and a drill and ladder. At 44 started my own business. Retired at 64 and am 79 now. Thankful for the gift of life. Faith in Christ saw me through. Can"t thank Him enough.
how you manage your daily life ?
Jesus is my rock. I'm so thankful everyday@❤❤❤
Amen! Do you still use your drill and ladder? I just recently gave up the ladder (got a 2 stepper) after a scary fall. As for the drill, got a project today. I'm not great at it but I keep my hand in.
We are never alone when we have Christ- spending time with Him in His word starts every day fresh and with contentment. I’m 79 and simple things are just so refreshing- a walk, a book, music and taking someone who really is lonely out to eat- there are several in my church that just need a listening ear- when we do for others to lift them up out of their sadness it lifts us up more. Each day is a gift-
I have lived alone since high school. I have had to learn to make my way through life including going to college later in life. I will be 76 next month and I have learned to do almost everything that has to be done including carpentry work, some electrical, even put on a metal roof all by myself when I was 68. I have a rental which I keep up and rent out as well as keeping up my own home. I have not regreted my choice in life maybe because I do not have to answer to anyone about anything. Yes, I have friends and I listen to their advice and then do what I think is best for me. As someone has already said, Life is good and I feel I am living "the good life"!
I lost my life partner two years ago and moved up to WA state to be near my daughter. The plan was to put an ADU on her property and I would help around the farm. Long story short, that did not happen. I now find myself living alone for the first time in a new place at the age of 65 😲. I've tried making friends by volunteering, etc. but not much luck so far. I was feeling so lost, BUT when you mentioned "how to workshops" at Home Depot, etc. I got excited! I could meet new people AND learn much needed new skills!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! 😀
Sorry things didnt work out. Sometimes when we dont get what we want, it is a blessing. Good luck sista. X
I like that part. A resource.
Wish you lived nearby. I’d be your Home Depot buddy.
I completely understand! My advice is to make sure you are surrounded by like minded people, you will have more chance of making new friends. I moved 4 years ago and I absolutely love it and now a church where I am meeting lots of nice people.
I’m so glad I ran across your video. As a recent widow, I’m navigating new territory. While I was caregiver for my husband, I dealt with an opossum that got underneath our house and started coming up through heat ducts, a broken garage door, and ice maker issues. Although I’ve always handled most of the finances, cleaning, cooking etc., I’m now finding a lot of maintenance issues to deal with. He had a huge semi professional shop and years of cleaning out accumulated stuff I’m slowly going through. I found a great deal on a light weight Rubbermaid step ladder on Amazon and just came across my electric screw driver. I’m starting to gain confidence in some of these heavier maintenance duties. Although my family lives on the other side of the US, I’m blessed they call daily and I have great neighbors and friends. Thank you for reminding me We Can Do It!
All good information ~ if I may add, I keep my home clean and maintained for myself, decorate for holidays for myself, hang seasonal wreaths and put pillows on my porch bench for myself, I stock tasty things to eat and drink for myself and eat off of nice plates and drink from coffee mugs with no chips and nice stem ware - basically treat myself as I would any guest with love and respect for my comfort. I am no waiting for the next thing to happen ~ it is happening everyday - Me!
On the flip side, I know no One is coming to rescue me from a back up sink, noisy neighbor or broken doorlock - it's on me to get recommendations for local vendors, fight my own battles, have emergency funds available and a wet/dry shop vac plus tools ready for service.
I was just looking at my old coffee cups and thought I should invest in some lovely new ones...Now I will do that!
Yes I have the best of what I can afford. Lovely chinaware, bedding, perfume, clothes. Most of my life as a single mother I had very little. One day my young daughter said, mum I never see you buy clothes. I said because I don't have the money to.
I saw my mother live with a WW11 mentality although she had lovely things but hung onto everything.
As for me, i'm going down in style.
@@binathere2574I love this post!
I’ve was a widow at 54 and have lived alone ever since. Five years later I moved to the other side of the world (literally - Africa to New Zealand) bought a house and have been happily living on my own ever since - 26 years. At 80 I am still confident to make all my own decisions! 😊
Been divorced since 2007, and was married 28 years. Love living alone, I am in control. Love it!
It depends where you live and your health! It's not that easy!😢
As a woman who lives on her own most of the time and not liking it very much, I found this video really uplifting. I've always been the DIY person in my family and when my husband became incapacitated through illness, I took over all the running of the house finances (I called it driving the desk) I've never understood women feeling less than equal to any man. In my experience women seem to fare much better when they find themselves living alone. Each morning I look at the beautiful garden I created, each evening I move around my lovely home knowing where each object is (in its appropriate place!) And I love not having to consult a committee if I feel like making changes. I just miss my lovely husband who died 15 years ago. A gentle gentleman and good fun. Loved the video footage of the bear and the cougar.
Just subscribed. Lived alone most of my life, but as I've gotten older (60's) I've become anxious about increased vulnerability and lessening energy. Your video reminded me of the strong woman I've always been and the four areas I can focus on to reclaim my sense of independence. Thank you.
I am similar age as you, I lift weights and eat a high protein diet which keeps me strong and healthy. I cut my own grass and can move furniture around with ease. As we age we lose muscle and strength, hence becoming weaker and dependent on others. Weight lifting and a diet of meat eggs and dull fat dairy is best.
I am 76. Yes, as we age we can expect some health issues. I recently tore a rotator cuff in my arm, went to a physical therapist for over four months, did resistance training, and I’m almost as good as new. Yes, issues will come, but one by one we do our best and keep moving. my two dogs and organic gardening are the highlights of my life. I own almost 7 acres, mow the grass myself, do all the work of gardening myself, and I believe it keeps me strong and moving.
I was in a relationship and moved to Oregon to be with Him, all of a sudden he changed or did he? He shut me out, he shut down and literally told me this conversation is over. Days went by I tried talking and he wanted no part so I packed my bags and flew across country home to Florida! No one deserves to be ignored like that, especially when they ARE IN THE RELATIONSHIP SEXUALLY ETC. it’s cruel. He called me a month later saying he missed me and needed me back so he could be whole again. But he did defend himself when I left he was surprised and said it’s not like I cheated it’s not like I hit you but what he failed to see was it felt like a slap in the face and It felt like he cheated me out of a kind caring considerate man to comfort me and LISTEN AND TALK AND COMMUNICATE….and no, I didn’t go back
I moved 5 months ago from Canada to be with a man in Washington and he has given me nothing but love scraps and has lied to me and he thinks he's madly in love with me. I have to now move back to Canada as I feel I'm being ignored and I feel invisible to him. I am scared to make this change and I hate to give up on the dreams I had. But, I feel alone here and I think it's best to be alone when actually alone. I'm sorry you are going through this. It's horrible! I hope things improve for you.
We all fall for that....investing totally in someone else....it makes no sense...we are crazy. Find your own personal fulfilment with or without a partner... that's where I am now.
@@JohnBurman-l2l thank you ! That’s where I am as well! I grew up with I want to find my prince but now I gave it up and loving myself that much more
@@ananimity7332 wow if I could virtually hold your hand and leave with you so you won’t be alone I’d do it! I feel for you because that’s where I was five or so years ago! You can shine on your own and trust me I don’t think anything is worse than a partner ignoring you especially in the same house:( if I can help at all, even just a friend through here I’ll do it! And we deserve so much MORE! Don’t settle for a jerk! And I’m sorry jerks are in the world :(
Look up Asperger’s in Males. It’s a common developmental disorder and highly possible for these men’s behaviours. Classic.
Wow!!! This lady is a God sent angel!!! Angels don't always have feathery wings and fly around.....angels like this woman are rare. I am not on my own but who knows what's around the corner as I nearly lost my husband to covid in 2021. That event brought home to me the saying that "tomorrow is promised to no one"! Thank you for all you good advice and I'm sure you have been a life saver for many people. God Bless you Silver and Solo! Love from England.
Living alone means you have no one to blame everything on
And have no one to blame everything on you either!
It means you have to take responsibility for your own actions and at times it’s liberating because we all make mistakes but at least if you live alone you know who to blame and don’t you some feeble excuse like some do
Why would you need to blame someone for anything. It solves nothing and creates friction. It'll make you sick from frustration. Expectations unfulfilled are destroyers of joy.
@@AVBenz How do you learn anything
@@AVBenzit's a joke, for pete's sake.
The sincere expression, beautiful skin, kind voice, and honest blue eyes says it all...YES...you are happy, fulfilled, and content....Being ALONE can be absolutely WONDERFUL !!!!
Hi dear Good morning I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌺🌺🌺
IAgree..ImAloneAndAtPeaceWithMyselfGodIsMyAllAndAll
A house journal is something everyone should have. My husband takes care of most things around the house. I realized after several friends whose husbands passed away struggled with the care of their home because their husbands took care of everything. Now I keep a record of things we do around our house, who to call when we need help, and when things need to be updated. I have my own tools.
I became alone as l turned 80 - 4 years ago. I moved to another country and still learning the language bought a house still learning how to manage it and this after a lifetime of having help. I must tell you every day is an adventure and it is as the best thing l could have done. Most of my friends still have their mouths open but want to visit. Weirdly enough the first year and a half because of COVID l was housebound going out once a week to buy groceries. Restaurants were closed but thankfully delivered. I have a garden and lots of books and a telephone so it was just a slight inconvenience.
amazing, that's quite the adventure - kudos
❤❤
You Rock!!
Good on you. You sound inspiring. I’m intrigued to know, where did you move to!
@@eileenredmond3582 l live on the largest lake in Mexico in a lovely little town called Ajijic.
Thank you for this video! I´m on my own for about 20 years. First as a single mom of 3 now as an empty nester. I´m in my 40´s. My kids were little when I got divorced. I had no money so I needed to do it all by myself. I couldn´t afford to pay someone. And I learned it all over the years. There is almost nothing I can´t do! Ladies - you can do it. You don´t need to be anxious. You are STRONG!
And you can learn. What you dont know how to do, you might be able to do tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. Try to do things you never thought you were able to do them and you might be amazed of yourself. Its a huge confidence boosters. When you can do things yourself you need to take less bullshit of other people trying to decide `whats best for you`.
I will second that. I’ve been alone for 30 years, after being married to a narcissist for 24. I was scared to death, but I did it anyway and I’m so grateful for my freedom, my enjoyment of life, my excitement in living, and organic gardening! Find what you love and go do it! Set yourself free.
I have been married (and divorced, unfortunately) three times in my life...I have lived by myself since 2002 when 2 children were finally launched and on their own. I love the solitude. I am 69 and love fixing my food, doing the laundry, and gardening -- especially the gardening. I mow the grass with a push mower and still work as a registered nurse. I have a German Shepherd Dog to keep me company. I love the challenge of home repairs...I love it!
“You’re putting your best person in charge.” Touché!!! LOVE that! ❤
Hi dear Good morning I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌺🌺🌺
Single since’77 and ❤️ it. I go where I want to go when I want to go, eat when I want to eat, what I want to eat, make or don’t make my bed, wash or choose to not do my dishes. I have a routine, do like reading, listening to music, playing games and making puzzles on my tablet, walking my dog, teaching virtually and taking virtual classes. I go to the gym and to the pool when I choose to. People ask if I’m lonesome. The answer is ‘NO’. I enjoy not having to plan for anyone but myself. I have four adult children, eight grandchildren and a great grandchild who I see when I want to see them. This is Heaven on earth. Highly recommended.
I never lived alone til 2 years ago when my husband of 56 years died. My 9 kids moved me into a condo from a 4 bedroom home. I am doing well, but it’s been a challenge. My husband took care of everything. I don’t mind living alone. I wouldn’t want anyone living with me. I love your channel! It will be very helpful to me!! ❤
No one can replace your husband. The way I think is, if I can live without my life partner , I can, I mean I have to manage alone, no choice.
No dependence, no expectation, no obligation.
Regards
Sue from India.
I am sorry for the loss of your husband. Husbands sometimes forget that they enable their wife to not know some basics when they do everything. However, he was not pregnant for 81 months, he did not go through delivery of 9 kids, he did not cook and care for all those kids. He did not stay up nights with them when they were sick or experiencing kid problems. He did not do all the laundry for eleven people, he did not manage the home and keep it running smoothly. You were the heart beat of the home. You were it's life-blood. You were the love and loyalty when your kids came home from school every day. You gave from your heart and soul. The other things your husband did a person can learn. What you did comes from inside you. Please love yourself for all the wonderful things you do and have done. The rest will come to you in time and remember that the challenges make you stronger.
I’ve lived alone for my entire life!! It’s not always been easy, but, I did it. I thank God every day for what I have and how I’ve survived and thrived. I was a hairdresser for 44 years, in that time, I paid for a home, many cars, had a trailer set up at a campground for 7 years, have travelled a lot and still love going. I retied at 65 and even though I don’t have a pension, I did manage to squirrel a little away, but, also have the OAS, GIS and CPP. I am by no means rich, but, I had to learn to budget and be responsible for everything and am quite happy I did. All the best to you. Thanks for your insights.
Bonnie, OAS, GIS and CPP are government pensions in Canada. :)
@@WanderingBonnie-ck1eu Sorry, I should have explained that, and you are no dummy:) OAS is Old Age Security, GIS is Guaranteed Income Supplement, (this one is for when you only have the OAS and if you’re lucky worked outside the home and paid into the CPP) you receive the GIS to bring you up to a more liveable standard and CPP is Canada Pension Plan. So, the three combined give you a liveable amount, or near liveable. I’m fortunate that I own my own home mortgage free and no credit card debt. Have an awesome day!
I settled my own estate ... sold my primary residence and went into senior housing ... didn't want my kids to have to do it and I didn't want the maintenance involved with home ownership ...BUT I miss my garden and I'm not content to sit and look out the windows ... I expect to volunteer at a farm so I can watch Mother Nature and all her miracles!
Libraries are great places to volunteer!
@@marionopisso212only if you don't want to talk.
I am 70 and picked up a lot of skills over the years. One at a time. Now I am retired, but live on 5 acres and have a native edibles food forest. I enjoy wandering the mountainside and identifying wild edibles. I preserve food for winter. Chores keep me up and moving.
My mother said many times, "I live alone, but I am not lonely." I am alone after an abusive relationship and I am loving being able to do what I want when I want, and I never have to please someone else. I couldn't be happier.
Oh, how BEAUTIFUL!! I'm so very curious where you live with such amazing wildlife!! 💓 I highly recommend adopting an older dog from a shelter/rescue, one well past the puppy stage. They are such a comfort and blessing, especially for those of us who live alone. 💜🐾💜
The stepladder is key. My mother has never expressed much appreciation for me. It’s just not who she is. But the one time she marveled at my achievement? Storing a stepladder on two nails hammered into the inside of a closet door. I speak three languages; I earned degrees from two prestigious US universities, and I’m a mid-level executive for a Fortune 100. But it was the stepladder on the door for her … 😂
I am a mother of girls, it was a symbol for her that you are safe to leave on your own.
@@ileanamuntean7338 no it is nonsense.
This comment should be pinned absolutely
Amazing. Sometimes best to just count on yourself I have found.
You can have college degrees, or lived on your own, but if some dude isn’t married to her then nothing she’s done is appreciated. We are still the daughters of the forgotten generation who believe the goal was to get married by 22.
I've been alone for 20 years. I did great until I had three surgeries in 24 months. Now I'm 80 years old and I hurt badly. Using a cane and a walker. Can't begin to do the activities I could just two years ago. Yes it was great when I was younger, BUT prepare yourself for anything and everything as you age.
Why do you think having a husband or partner would make it any different? I’m 81, I’ve been living alone since my husband was killed in Vietnam. I was 24, I don’t want anyone living with me! Go to a assisted living or if not needed go to retirement community. Do things you really enjoy.
@@janetstotler399 Here's the thing, I had the absolute best husband in the world. He died at 63. That loss is felt every day. And I got out and did things until a year and a half ago. I've slipped a lot and just can't do what I use to. Darn it anyway. Good on you having a good experience in your 80's.
Absolutely fafantastic. Down to earth.keeping it real for us single females.I was a single parent of 30..38 years single in my home , thanks!
Dear Lady (Helen in UK here). I have just fallen in love with you ! And that's meant in the best possible taste. You were just what I was looking for. I fixed the low pressure on my boiler recently by watching videos. Having lost 5 people I loved over the last 30 months have been feeling bereft and alone. The landscape of my life has changed drastically. The principles of competency and therefore control can be applied in areas other than those mentioned, I think. Fingers crossed and thank you so much. Helen
One thing I always tell my women friends, is just try. If you try to do what you don't know how, you will find you can do 10 times more than you thought. I built a 12 foot mantel, pulled all doors out of the house and trim, replaced it all. Built 2 waterfalls, skim coated the basement. And 4 tile jobs, in my house. Repaired a lot of drywall. I bought tools as needed. You can do this.
You are a3esome. May I ask how old you are?
Growing up, i had my parents, never alone. I was alone more, after I got married, and he wasn't a very nice person. So I divorce him, one of the happiest days of my life. I have two children, and raise 2 of my grandchildren. My father, taught us kids, if you want something, you work for it. So I was never afraid, of being by myself. In fact I love it. Didn't have to put up with my, ex- bull shit. I love being by myself. If I get lonely, I go and visit, family or friends.
I change my life radical 10 years ago and am now 43......
The more people around you, the more expectations, talk about others, lying, frustrations, negativity, jealousy, double standards, violent, hate, own benefits, double standards etc.... reflection of their broken souls.
Alone or in solitude you have more strength, peace, power, happyness, freedom and time.....
A lot of people are programmed robot slaves of the system thinking happyness starts with extern factors like status, money, material things that means nothing and its relativ and an illusion create by society.
If your happyness depend on extern factors you will never be because extern factors are endless.
Be the light in your own life
Your comment is so inspiring and so true. I was married for 24 years to a narcissist. I had no idea how beautiful, peaceful, and exciting a life could be on my own. I am my own boss. I am my own authority.I only do what I want to do, spend what I want to spend, go where I want to go when I want to go, and don’t have to answer to anyone. It is a fantastic, exciting, beautiful way to live.
@@spir5102 Yes, agree with you that getting rid of a narcissist is key to joy. Scary thing, though, being alone if you come down with a truly debilitating disease- so hard! I’ve seen it happen unfortunately - health is wealth in a million different ways.
@@spir5102 beautifull to hear.....and we all have our path to walk.
We dont feel better then others but more be carefully and awake.
I am alone to now for 6@7 years and live in solitude in a big city.....i want to go more to the forest later on.
I love animals, nature and the simple things in life more then what the matrix tell what it is.....an illusion
I dont care about material things, status, money (yes, we need it to live) .....
We come alone and goes alone and in between we are all guests.......do what makes you happy
Blessed to you
My suggestions for security while living alone are as follows:
-Get yourself a home security system with cameras. Some even have additional functions like alarms that can deter robbers or functions that can quickly or in some cases even automatically dispatch emergency services if a problem is detected.
-Get yourself a dog. A large dog in particular can be especially intimidating to would-be intruders and could possibly physically protect you if needed. But if you can't handle a large dog, any size dog is better than no dog. Even small dogs bark, and that can often be enough to deter robbers. Plus, any dog comes with the added benefit of companionship, which you may find extra need for if you live alone.
-Get trained in self-defense skills. This includes not only learning how to fight an attacker, but also how to best avoid attacks from happening to begin with. And of course, it should also include knowing how to handle weapons, which leads me to my next point...
-Get a reliable self-defense weapon and know how to use it. Especially in America, you don't want to walk into a gun fight defenseless. Most likely you will never have to use it, but it's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. Go to a range and train with it too, in order to keep your skills fresh.
-Keep a first aid kit and learn some basic first aid skills. In situations where violence has occurred, in particular it may be useful to know how to care for wounds and slow down heavy bleeding to increase your odds of survival if you were harmed. Obviously you should also call emergency services in those situations, if you hadn't already done so before.
-This shouldn't have to be said, but obviously secure your home by closing/locking all of your doors/windows at night or when you're not home.
I am 48 and medically disabled with no income. I was independent for most of my middle age years as I raised my son alone and ran a business. Now I'm broke and broken from the experience and became dependent on a boyfriend so I don't end up homeless. It's been so difficult. DV has become a problem. I need to be independent again. I still don't know how while dealing with the disabilities but listening to your videos gives me some hope. You are a good speaker.
That's so tough. I'm in New Zealand and any woman can support herself here with government assistance. It's getting harder with rental costs but there's still a decent income on disability. And support.
It's so wrong that wherever you are you cant break free from DV because the lack of support keeps you stuck there.
I pray for you God provides a way out.
What is DV?@@rebeccabriggs2982
Are you OK? Most communities have resources to help with DV, such as safe house, counseling, etc.
I was born with Cerebral Palsy I've been alone most but not all of my adult life. I receive Social Security Disability and so can you provided you have worked for at least 10 years, as Social Security says, 40 quarters. If your physical difficulty isn't obvious like mine, you probably will get denied when you first apply but don't give up. Almost every lawyer does some pro bono work.
The best thing you have going for you and that will allow you to be independent is something you used before: your mouth. Ask for help when you need it. You won't be competent at everything but able-bodied people tend to act as if they are. It's an illusion. No one can do everything by or for herself. We are all interdependent. Learn and practice the difference between interdependence and codependence. That boyfriend you have isn't the only person within your sphere of influence who can do whatever you rely on him for. Use your mouth like Next Door. When I moved, for example, I put an ad in Next Door asking for help organizing boxes. We turned it into a fun neighborhood event and one of the people who came to help has become one of my dearest friends. It's not charity when it's mutual or when the other person makes a choice to help.
I also judiciously use Social Services my CP entitles me to like paratransit.
As I read this over to myself, I was afraid it might sound like a lecture but I don't mean it that way. I want you to know you're not alone and to give you a good motivational shot in the arm so that you can tell your abuser to stick it where the sun don't shine because you don't need him anymore. You are capable and you've already proven it. Hang in there one day at a time❤ you're not disabled; you're differently able. You are competent, unique and the world needs you, Just As You Are! I have already started praying for you.
@baxtercol I really LOVE what you just shared. It's actually a gift both ways when we get to help out someone else! I recall I had to move house single handed. I was in a new town and knew nobody and had no money to spare. Anyway I hired a trailer and decided I would have to ask strangers about to help if I got really stuck.
Well..... would you believe it?! With every single heavier awkward item a person just appeared out of nowhere and offered to help! Passerby. I never had to ask a single person (but I sure was prepared to). It was a day my heart grew. God was looking out for me. None of us are truly alone.
My life as a Silver & Single was GREAT....... until 4 years ago as I was walking across my lawn to talk to the landscapers that I had hired for some heavy work.....
I passed out & fell down. When I woke up, I was in an ambulance my way to ER.
I had had "a series of strokes" per the Er Dr.
My independent life hit a brick wall!
Be sure you have a back-up plan for when your health goes bad, because it WILL!
I love my super independence. I get drained trying to please someone else. Freedom is a luxury.
This is a sooo underrated lifestyle...!
I've been fortunate and have been happily married for 40 years now. But, as we age I begin to think of the time that my wonderful spouse will no longer be with me and I need to be prepared to understand the roles that he has traditionally taken care of, I'm glad I found your channel. Thank you.
Even when I was married, I was the one who took care of everything. I prefer being alone, nothing has changed. Not all of us had partners or parents who shared responsibility.
Hi dear Good morning I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌺🌺🌺
Very good tips! Been on my own for 26 years, including as a disabled woman for the past 15. One of my all-time favorite tools is my cordless screwdriver that comes with different bits. I use that thing ALL the time! Plus, it's great for arthritic hands.
In my adult life, I've experienced bankruptcy, car repossession, long-term income tax pay schedules, and I've survived it all. My dad passed 19 years ago, but what shook my foundation was when Mom died, two years ago. That shook me.
Bear and cougar patrol. Love it
Much better than seeing people on your camera, statistically speaking other humans are way more dangerous than bears or cougars.
What a treasure trove of common sense, so glad I happened on this. I went through a lot after my husband died, mostly mentioned here by this sensible, practical lady. Thank you so much!
Really enjoyed the simplicity and format of your video. I’ve been living alone only 2 years, kids away to uni. Before then single mum. Now just the dog and myself. This I appreciate so much. He’s not very helpful in the garden 😂alas I live here because he needs the space. But there is a lot to do to pay the rent, keep the place together esp. the garden now that spring is here. 10 + years ago at time of my divorce it was scary but I’m now so happy in my own space and your video just reinforced what I have achieved and what I cherish. I doubt I can live with a partner again……last time caused me so much trauma. Not to be repeated……Thanks for your work 😄👋❤
I was beginning to question myself about living alone after about the past 12 years. Relatives and friends are always telling me I should move closer to them or closer to places with a lot of amenities to socialize. I understand and appreciate that I have many who love an care about my health and well being but I have so many positive feelings and reasons for the choice that I have made. After reading all the comments posted here I am no longer going to question myself or doubt the choice to live where I live and live alone. All these comments have been so reaffirming. I want to live my life not theirs. Thank you ALL❤
Thank you - I am recently widowed after a 42 year marriage. He dealt with all the bills/d.i.y. etc. I do not know where to start!? A day at a time and help from people like you. Thank you
UA-cam is a goldmine of help! You can do it!
1:55 Responsibilities, routines
4:43 repairs
8:10 control
8:39 house journal, record keeping and planning
10:50 safety
I live alone.
My husband died a few years back.
I always took care of the house maintenance and the yard, painting, plumbing, electrical, fixing, etc.
None of this stuff was new to me when I began to live alone.
I absolutely love it!
I eat what and when I want, or not; I sleep when and how long I want; I travel when and where I want; I read, do hobbies/business stuff when I want; it’s great!
I have the attitude, like you that I do what I’m comfortable with, what I can do or learn to do and what I can’t, I hire done!
Easy, peasy!
NO GUILT!
I earn money, have a retirement plan, don’t feel
pressured to work too hard or not take time off when needed.
I always kept all manuals for small and large appliances of all types and date them as to when I bought them and when they were installed.
But I love your house journal idea!
It’s great because everything is in one central place, written down so you can go back and reference when things were done and for how much $$.
Even the garden journal is there! What a great idea!
My things are all separate and sometimes I can’t find what I’m looking for.
I tend to put everything in my phone but then have to search back, maybe several years to find something.
Your idea is better!
Your journal must be HUGE after 35 years.
Dearest fellow silver haired solo! I'm 55, single, and moving to Merida Mexico for retirement and a less stressful situation. I applaud you and your channel. Most think YT is saturated but I think there is an audience for plain, straight, authentic talk from someone who's got some life experience in the rear view mirror. Simple is better and in your case it is working. Your channel will explode as you have a rare ability to really connect with the viewer. Bravo!
I have been independent for many years, your comments seem very valid to me. I wish your were my neighbor!
Been living alone for 50 years. Loved your suggestions. Always something to learn.
Losing your beloved husband of 44 years and being alone is very difficult but you don't have any choice than to adjust to your new life.
Your video will inspire me as I have lost motivation to do anything.
Thank you and regards
Sue from India.
During the pandemic I learned to fix my own ice maker in the freezer and garbage disposal.😊
Brave endeavor. Good 4 U
I think the best thing is not too worry so much about stuff. Just live your day healthy life and keep busy going places , meet people, join groups, go to the library for free activities, exercise at home or a gym, go to church there you will also find many new friends and activities. If you are older definitely go to the local senior centers. If you don’t have a car they pick you up sometimes and take you places. There are many classes and groups. Definitely get away from the TV and internet. Move, move ,move is the name of the game and don’t think so much about troubles. But on the other hand if you have troubles tackle them immediately, make that plan and do it. You will feel relief and happiness. ☮️☮️
very, very sound advice you give there. Mostly its the simple straight-forward things that do the trick indeed
Thanks a lots🙏🌼
I'm glad I found your channel. I'm 63, been single for 23 years. I enjoy living on my own. There are not enough UA-cam channels for the single person. Since I cook too much at one time, I turned it into batch cooking. Saves time and money.
Welcome aboard!
Me too! Sometimes I have the same dinner for three days & it’s ok with me.
Someone recently told me, in your middle or older age, the chickens come back to roost. We are the sum total of what we were doing for the last 30 years. Wow! So younger people, get your act together NOW! I'm there now and reflecting on my mistakes so I can do better in my senior years.
Very true! At 70 I have a sister-in-law who has relied on others all her life, never felt she had to pull her finger out, and now grizzles because her idea of fairness is that she should be as well off as her siblings who worked for what they’ve got.
So true!!!!!.
I find that a bit harsh.My husband died when I was 64.My 3 children are all married with partners and children and careers etc.They are loving,caring children but I do not want to play the helpless female game.Two of them live interstate.I speak regularly to them and see the 3rd one weekly with her family.I am on my own because of life circumstances,not because I am a horrible person.Most widowers and widows I know are in the same circumstances.
You can be 100% responsible for everything in your home as I am as I take care of husband after his stroke. ….you just do it
Since I became solo, it has always been my policy to only pay to have things done which I cannot do myself. Sometimes, I know my limitations. Sometimes I have a crack at it, and find I can do it! (UA-cam is our friend!) Sometimes i have to admit defeat and call my son, or a professional. We are more competent than we think we are!
I out up two beautiful shelves in my bathroom, I was so proud of myself. I saud out loud "You go girl!!"
I’m 73 and been on my own for almost 3 years. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis and I can do some of the things you talk about but boy it’s painful. I love the things you are talking about. I’m going to start a house journal and do the things I can do and try to get into some routines. I do suffer from loneliness terribly. After 45 years of marriage and you lose your partner it’s,hard to overcome grief.
I am 74 and lost my husband 4 months ago after 53 years of marriage so my adjustment is just beginning. I have 2 small dogs that I love dearly. They are always here to greet me when I return home. We walk together every day. They sleep with me at night. We go to dog sport lessons to have fun together. I don't know how I would cope without them.
Try to slowly carry on,darling
I’m almost 67 year old nurse, my place of employment is closing it’s doors so my last day at work is next Friday, I have a lifetime pension and a decent SS check so I won’t be rich but I’ll be comfortable, you spoke about your pain, I have been eating clean strict Ketovore for the last 5 weeks, down 17# and my pain is gone! Best wishes
@@kathyharmon2093 what is ketovore?
Isn't keto a high protein/meat diet? A carnivore eats meat, an omnivore eats everything... a ketovore is on a keto diet. (just guessing) @@sandrajones7896
as someone who has lived alone for 10 years following divorce I loved this- so true. thank you
I've lived alone the majority of my life. (married for 12 yrs, but he wasn't in to doing much in the way of "chores") I can hang pictures, mirrors, shelves, spackle over holes such that you would never know they were there, paint, install light fixtures, door handles, cabinet pulls, clean my gutters, care for my yard, plant things that thrive, do minor repairs to plumbing, clean my water softener, etc. I own quite a few tools and rent power washers to clean my porch, sidewalk, and drive way. But truth is, I'm older and I hire most heavy chores out. (installing new flooring, picking up my front door to install weather stripping, etc) to save myself/protect my health. Having that list of reliable professionals (plumbing, electrical, roofer, etc.) is critical. These people are hard to come by. They over charge, they fail to do the work, etc. That list is golden. The advice to "take it in steps" and to slowly build your competency and confidence is important. UA-cam is a god send. You mentioned setting up a routine, I say YES! AND set up routine maintenance schedules (ie: change batteries in your smoke detectors, clean furnace filter, add salt to the water softener etc.) . Also look at every job you do related to maintenance. How will this be to maintain? I love landscaping work, but as I grew older I knew I did not want to carry and spread tons of mulch every year or two into my old age. I went towards more ground cover, more stone etc....things that rarely need replaced.)
I try to walk every afternoon for 30-40 minutes . I make several cups of tea a day. I own some lovely cups that I bought particularly to make drinking tea seem an enjoyable ritual .
Gardening helps for activity and growing fresh herbs . Herbs are easier than veggies 💕
I was terrified to live alone not because I was afraid of the responsibilities. I was afraid of loneliness. Celebrating my 10th year living in my little house with my three dogs (so not exactly alone), I absolutely LOVE my freedom and responsibilities. Rarely am I actually lonely! Life on my terms.
Great video…thanks!
I don’t know who this lady is but I love her content. ❤
Realtors and Next Door are great sources for a good handyman/woman. When I was young and broke, male friends would help me. This is not a good idea unless you can make a legitimate trade, not some unspoken expectation…if you know what I mean. 😂
I have been financially responsible for basically every decision even though I’m married. My husband trusts me to make those decisions. He does a lot of the cleaning and even makes me breakfast on most days. I have my own tools. We are both retired and love to travel.
I am newly widowed after 52 years of marriage. This video is greatly appreciated!!! You offer a great service. Thank you.
Laughed when I heard "buy a step-ladder". Had to buy one when I found myself single and needing to reach for things. 😊
And absolutely the need for just a few basic tools
I have one for almost every room in my house. Good, sturdy ones that fold up to store. They definitely lower the hurdle of procrastination about simple tasks like changing light bulbs, etc. 😂
Great video, great topic. Mostly I live alone. My son travels a lot for work and play so my place is his pit stop. I'm retired and lazy, procrastinator, clutterer, etc. etc. I do actually try but not routinely. Right now my living room, dining and kitchen are all clean and clutter free. I think I've conquered this one. The only other routine I have is cleaning the bathroom weekly, ceiling to floor. Exercise is dread for me, so I incorporate it in my day. As I meander through my home, at any given moment I'll be marching, or squatting or wall pushups or arm lifts, etc. And sometimes I even get on my Gazelle exercise thingy. When I'm being really lazy, I tell myself, ok you can sit here 15 more minutes then go do something productive, mostly it works because I feel guilty. I have many interests, interests that leave clutter which includes reading and books are everywhere but I love all my stuff. I made homemade bread today. Baking is my other messy interest. Well I've unloaded the good and the bad. Thanks for your input, great reminders and look forward to viewing your other videos. I'm a retired RN and mostly recall working so hard what seemed all my life. So guess what? I purposely give myself a break - probably shouldn't but self indulgence can be an inspiration.
As someone in the same situation....My biggest tip is... being 'alone' and being 'lonely' are two very separate things.celebrate your single state..say yes to any social occasion you can ... . As for the having to do 'everything'..remember nobody is good at everything..Rainy days are for inside jobs Sunny days are for outside jobs.. just have a go, do what you can when you can.. practice.... I surprised myself during lock down by doing a bit of plastering and repairing a floor joist took me 4 months but it got done ( my ex would have taken 6 months just to think about it) ....70, arthritic, challenged mobility, main quality is perseverance , can't get up a ladder any more yes, had to get a roofer in for the gutters, still trying to do the garden .......and I have gadgets.. lots of gadgets.😄
Oh God, there's always one person who trots out this lame cliche!!
I admire you for doing these things. In my 29 year marriage I did everything while working full time. My husband didn't want to learn and I wanted to save the money, so I learned how to do many things. It made me happy.
My mother said many times, "I live alone, but I am not lonely." I am alone after an abusive relationship and I am loving being able to do what I want when I want, and I never have to please someone else. I couldn't be happier.
@@yah9489 May you have many more years of happiness.... and do all the things you love!
It was a pivotal moment in my life when I realized you don’t have to be always sweet to a man to get stuff done. Hiring out the work you can’t do yourself is so freeing. Women are just as capable as men. I have done all kinds of stuff I never thought a woman can do .
I have lived on my own for forty years and at the age now of eighty I can truthfully say that I love it. Yes, you do feel a little vulnerable when nearing eighty but it's good to feel that you are the one to fix that. I have recently been diagnosed with cancer and am having treatment.
I consider myself very fortunate. I do what I can when I can.
I agree with you about the tool kit and ladder and like you I would not clean out the gutters but I have only just stopped doing that.
This is Elisa (not John). I am an ovarian cancer survivor and on remission for almost 12 years now. I went the environmental health medicine route (not the conventional treatment using chemo or radiation). So grateful to God for the specialist that looked after me who is now a retired Clinical Professor from the University of Alberta Hospital in Edmonton, Canada. ❤
I just found your channel. I’m 75 and a widow since I was 53. I too love living alone. I wish you were around then. I’ve muddled through but the house journal is a great idea. I call it you tube university. I have learned so much. I’ll keep coming back for more hints💐
For some people the biggest problem is not competencies, but loneliness for a partner.
YES! THAT WOULD BE ME. 😪
I have been married for 50 years next month. I went from my parents home to being married. My husband is so proficient at so many things that I’ve never had the need to learn these things. He wanted to always take care of me. I have been blessed by that. However I’ve never learned his skills and with him being older I know someday I will be alone. I’ve begun learning under his supervision and am doing well at the things I’ve learned. I think he is impressed by my wanting to learn. I’m less stressed by what the future holds because of it.
If all you had was a man to take care of you, of course, you’d feel that way. I’d say a widow would be more financially secure and should be mature enough to be alone after a while. After that you’d know my never married life of paying for everything with no Social Security from a dead spouse.
A wonderful look at taking responsibility for one’s life.At 77, I’m not getting an electric drill but happy with my handyman. I will put more emphasis on routines. Thank you.
lol I cannot even open jars. get a drill lol
@@kellychubaI have my own tools and enjoy using them.
I am not living alone but I love these tips and the way you present them. I just found your channel and will be back. Thank you for sharing!
I am enjoying your videos very much. My husband passed away almost 2 years ago & I am getting used to living alone for the first time at age 70. Fortunately I have always been responsible for most of the things that you spoke about except for the handyman type things. I am trying to get there now. Keep the videos coming!
Accidentally found you and now I won't let you go! You will have 1 million subscribers by year end. Thank you for your time, knowledge and content. I appreciate you
OMG! So glad I found your chanel. My husband of 40 yrs passed last month, and this is exactly what I need, a common sense guide to living alone. Routines are especially helpful to me. I was his sole caregiver for 6 yrs, with the last 2 being really busy. So I feel as though I went from 60 to 0 on a dime. No matter how small or insignificant, they are comforting and calmimg for me. Thanks for sharing. 😍