If I said the sky was blue, he'd say, "No, it's actually teal, depending on the angle of the sun." The topic didn't matter. He just had to make sure I knew how stupid I was.
I think my mother made me do the role she didn't want or couldn't. My sisters ended up being her flying monkeys and I was even told if I wasn't there everyone else would be happier 29:23 py.
A while ago I 💭 I came up with the right formula for keeping narcs out of my life & I actually wrote it down... Strong boundaries+ healthy high self-esteem+ knowledge about narcs & general toxic behaviors= Narc repellent.This seems to work pretty well for me🙂.
@@Dove-gx5gz Well I just focused on what my own personal values & standards are and 💭 about what my standards are for how I treat others & I began expecting others to RECIPROCATE the way I treated them.Sticking to this has helped me immensely with building & maintaining strong healthy boundaries🙂👍🏻👍🏻.
@happyday3368 Exactly👍🏻👍🏻... Having an absolute iron grip on reality is kryptonite to anyone that gaslights & for narcs that's their 🍞 & 🧈 so they'll typically QUICKLY leave you alone or just avoid even approaching you in the 1st place because they can't get their 🦶 in your 🚪.They're con-artist 🚪-to-🚪 salespeople that go from place to place only lingering when there's a open 🚪 for them😉.
My narc plays the silent treatment 90 percent of the time every day. I have learned there is no sense in trying to have a conversation so I try to stay unengaged. After over thirty years I have given up, yet I am unable to financially walk away. These videos have given me back hope yet at the same time I can identify with the fenced yard feeling as a safe place . Thank you for the honest openness you offer your help to those of us struggling within these places in life we've found ourselves in.
To the person who asked if a person that tells you nobody likes you is a narcissist its my opinion that yes they are. I have a narcissistic family member that did that to me. She just kept escalating her anger more and more at me until she finally blew up at me for no apparent reason. She proceeded to tell me that nobody liked me when in reality nobody likes her. She has been this way all my life. She can only go so long before she blows her top and takes it out on whoever happens to be in the line of fire. She has to have her way and she expects everyone to follow suit with her demands. She is very controlling and will try to dominate every situation. My advice is don't take it personal. These people have something damaged inside them that you can't fix.
I grew up with a Narcissist family, especially my mother. One day I was around 9 years old, I had a bright moment. I have always been little wise as they called me, and a strong sense of self. Where it came from, I don't know, but it literally saved me. I had a moment where I thought this isn't right, and I'm gonna ask. Because she had a go at me again and took her anger out. I said mom why are you so angry, do you really have to? Don't you realise you're hurting me? She got interrupted and stopped, and didn't know what to do and said she was only blowing off steam, and I shouldn't take it seriously. I said but mom you're hurting me. Do you really want to hurt me? She didn't know what to say, and calmed down, while sneering. It was an eye opener.
They do everything that way. Nice one minute, trying to irritate you the next. They feed on upsetting you. They do better if they can't see you at all.
100,000,000? I thought I was hearing wrong. What a number! It's a frightening thought though. It means so many people are tethered to these psychopaths. The world is crawling with narcissists and numbers growing. Yikes. Than goodness for Dr. C. I suggest your channel so often, to help navigate these relationships. Once you see narcissism, you cannot unsee it.
"You're never enough" was one of my core beliefs, reinforced since birth. THAT is why I was susceptible to a narcissist. A narcissist knows it (most likely, you've shared it with them) and then later uses it to manipulate you. They know you will do ANYTHING to "be enough."
Yes narcissists are that purposeful and manipulative to protect themselves. The non narcissist and empath does not think along these lines. Once you understand that , it is painful but freeing.
They use brute psychological force to get your car onto their track. We take it threateningly when it’s all their insecurity. What are they so afraid of losing??
Oh my goodness…Dr. C., thank you for sharing the story of your friend and his mother. When you stated the phrase that your friend’s mother repeated often (she felt that she was “never enough” in her husband’s eyes), I had an almost physical reaction and spontaneously said out loud “Oh my God!”. That is exactly how i have felt over the last 35 years with my narcissistic husband. And my grown children have also felt that way around him. I am now separated from my husband and the last 2 years have been a journey of trying to tell myself that I am in fact “enough”. It has been very hard to keep that “voice” out of my head. But, finding your videos has been life changing. I watch or listen to you every day and have been for the last 6 months. I have to thank you for the gift you have given me (and so many others). Your kindness and decency are so evident and you truly show how much you feel and care for those of us who have been tied to a narcissist (without realizing it). One of my greatest struggles has been knowing the pain my husband endured through his childhood and early teens and I kept feeling that i could “fill that hole” in spite of the anger outbursts, gaslighting, verbal abuse, etc. But you have reminded us that those issues the narcissist deals with are not something we can “fix” nor is it our responsibility. Sorry for this long comment, but I want to thank you again for all you have done and continue to do to help me and others on this journey to eventual peace.
Thanks for the "long" comment. Glad you felt free to share. Yes, you can reclaim yourself even when the N believes otherwise. Tune in tomorrow, and I hope the message hits home!!
Thank you for sharing your post! I loved reading it. I wish you so much love on your journey back to YOU and your deep knowing that you are more than enough and that deep feeling of loving yourself and wanting to give yourself love and compassion that is going to come. I’m making my way back too leaning from Dr C and healing. You are so courageous for leaving. Your strength is amazing! You did it!!!
Congratulations Dr Carter!!! So happy for you and your achievements. You are a kind, helpful, caring man whose helped millions of us get well and stay well. I am grateful for you and your channel.
Yup 13 years and never was on my team. And when I wasn't needed anymore threw me under the bus. No I'm not perfect but didn't deserve what I got. Rather than being a victim I do what I can to find my way around it. I absolutely can't get out but I don't have to stay in the same spot mentally. 😊
At what point should a person quit watching videos about recovery from narcissistic abuse? I feel like I got over it, but still find the videos comforting and interesting.
That's a good question that I was asking myself, too, Sage. And I have similar feelings like you. These video's are still comforting and interesting. Once I heard that you better could move forward without watching too much video's. But of course, everyone is free to choose. Perhaps an indicator of stop watching is when you get bored or when you don't move forward because watching is keeping you in your comfortzone 😉
@@roxymovie3938 Thanks for the reply! I like to have these on during a workout or while cooking. I like to hear a nice voice and to learn more about good values. I have twice unsubscribed from the favorite recovery channels, but then want to take a peek, so just re-subscribed. I know a lot of us must feel like we graduated, but it's continuing education. 😉 I like what you said about getting bored, moving forward, and the comfort zone.
I feel recovered, myself, with enough knowledge/understanding to avoid another reoccurrence of what I escaped. What continues to keep me engaged here is the opportunity to reassure others still in escape mode. Sometimes people just need to hear someone honestly tell them, “I hear you. I’ve been there. There is hope.” I’ll help any way I can.
@@aaronkwolfe It's a definite comfort to hear from others who have made it. I recently got through three love bombing attempts - really shook me up. I actually saw it in progress and made a courteous exit. I felt good knowing I had applied my knowledge and that people here would know what I am talking about. Feeling understood, even just knowing people would get this is of great value. Nice to hear from you!
Thank-you, Dr. Carter. I was blown away by the 100 million views you have received and yet I keep running into several narcissistic individuals. I thought I was being oversensitive in my observations and deductive reasoning when I would find myself in the presence of another narcissist. Apparently I'm not being overly sensitive. Last night, I was listening to another of your podcasts and was shocked to hear you say that 80% of the population are not capable of analytical thinking - turning inward for self-examination. Now I understand your 100 million views even better.
When my Narc "compromised" he made sure he did something to ruin the experience. Complaining and denigrating everything so much that I stopped pushing my preferences!!! He maintained control! How can I enjoy something when you are with someone bent on ruining the experience! Help
Being a role-model for Dignity, Respect and Civility pays great dividends. Congratulations on all the views, Dr. C. 👏⭐😎👏⭐😎👏 Watched this earlier and re-viewing. Chock full of compassion and grace. Thanks for your transparency..keeping it real👍😎
Im so grateful to you...THANKYOU!!!...you're knowledge has changed my life, after 63 years of serving narcissists, being a people pleaser, l have woken up. Thankyou is not enough, Bless you, you wonderful kind wise man❤
One thing I've noticed, not a single narcissistic style person will ever say 'how are you feeling', not meaning it in any case. They don't seem to care what's going on inside anyone else. Very barren inner world's
What a wonderful video. Four years after separation from ex-narc, and no contact with narc-mother, and I am newly discovering preferences. Things my friends have put words to for me - "you are a fibre artist" - and things I have decided to reclaim from childhood, like drawing AND sewing. It sounds so silly, but I feel so brave and rebellious to NOT be in service to anyone! It feels like I am claiming the balanced perspective and sovereignty I was never able to have. I don't have to fit in with anyone else ANYWHERE and it's lovely.
I hope it starts coming to me more and more over time. Have to really learn those boundaries so I can protect myself and the future I want to create. Thank you for your post!
@@andreacook6000 You are very welcome. Keep your eyes on the horizon, keep Dr C's voice in your ears (because it's easy to slip into old ways of thinking) and one day, you'll look up and realise you are actually having fun xxx
Congratulations Dr C on 100 million views on Surviving Narcissism! You say you appreciate being on my journey (and that of your other viewers). I appreciate having been led out of the narcissist's lair, by yourself and Ramani and others like you. Can't thank you enough!
Congrats Dr. C! You've been a Godsend for me, and through your vids for the last few years, I just left my narc husband which was something I wasn't sure I could do given I left my first husband who was also a malignant narc. My 2nd husband is a malignant psychopath, like my mother. Dr. C and Team Healthy helped free me, and gave me hope. Bless you Dr. C. God and you saved my life because I was dying emotionally/ spiritually/ psychologically. You're a solace and healer. The exhaustion and constant antagonism/ abuse almost made me give up but your vids gave me the strength to leave. Praise God and Dr. C!! ❤
Huge congratulations Dr. C! 🎉 I have learned so much from you these past few years in my recovery from long-term narcissistic abuse (from multiple perpetrators). Just the sound of your voice allows me to breath easy, because I know you are a safe person. You know, I think we're around the same age, but I wish you were my Dad! How different my life would have been if I had you as a parent. I'm getting teared up just imagining it! 😢
Even war wouldn't exist in a utopian 🌎 where everyone worked together...It'd be like living in a really beautiful dream.Although that isn't realistic...We can ALL take a little piece of this utopia along with us & incorporate it into showing kindness/compassion for the good folks that we love.
Sheeeesh this man is a genius. Hey Doc don't let that go to your head hahaa I sometimes think that me ending up in South Florida decades ago i entered a place where narcissists go to thrive, i began to think much of it was / is normal. It's a balancing act to work with some, avoid some , and try to avoid the many invitations to join in and be one
My X (divorced for 13 years now) would block me in a room and ridicule me sometimes for hours at a time. I'm sorry to say I've never gotten over that. Thank you Dr C for the example of patience and kindness you express in your videos. God Bless!
Congratulations Dr C on your milestone! Yes, you filled a gap in "the market" where 100 00s of us were looking for help with narcissists that affected us but were not our spouses. Thank You so very much.Julie.
100,000,000 that’s alot o’0’s, Doc!! YOU, and the Gusmeister, are AHHH-MAZZZZZZ-ING!!! Your channel was my FIRST, and you’re stuck with me!! -Laura 🤩💖🙏🏼🙌THANK YOU!!
@@SurvivingNarcissism Gettin’ there, one day at a time, with your wisdom and guidance each day-except Fridays, I mean, you should have some downtime with Jennifer and Gus 🙏🏼💖🐶😉🥰
Congratulations Dr. C You are fantastic. I watched one of your u tube video many years ago and it gave me all the answers to the madness in my life 😢 I am a victim of PA with my two children and understand all the madness it involves thanks to you Dr.C❤❤❤ life is good know and can only get better Thank you so much Mick from Ireland
I hope that you and your friend find comfort in the relationship/friendship that you have with one another. We hurt when a loved one dies , and feel our friends pain when they hurt. I don't have any words of wisdom, and yet I hope you feel better soon.
Yeah I was doing great in high school, my extracurriculars were on point, grades great, on track for a great senior year, then suddenly my mom pulled me out of school and moved to another state for no real reason. Took me years to recover from that.
Thank you. Your videos have saved my life. You have given me the tools needed to live with my Narc. Thought he had changed after marriage counseling but yesterday the ugly narc inside him emerged full force. I used Grey Rock and wow it worked! And, never enough is also his mantra. The grass was always greener to him. But he always came back. He had me trained like Pavlofs dog.
Same here. There is very little good resources to understand the vuln narc and their punitive punishing ways. My mother is that way, my father's flying monkey and has contempt disdain and passive aggression fine tuned. The most bizarre part for me is that as soon as they feel okay they're annoyed you're not all happy and jolly at their latest gift or a dinner they've made. It's like they completely forget all the times they used put downs, weren't there, we're accusatory, dismissive. They can say anything and we have to just get over it because they do 'good stuff'. Yet they hold grudges and remember every slight, forever!
Dr. C. ...I spent ALOT of time in the past with the Narcissist person who constantly tried to keep me off track. But as a person who has Alot of persistence in her personality, I would always find a way to succeed at what I put my mind to. I' m sure he was very frustrated by me. I still pushed forward and accomplished what I set out to do. He never finished anything he started and then complained. So glad for my persistence in the past and now. There is great gratitude for accomplishing a task. Thank you Dr C. Hugs for Guss😮❤❤
So true about thinking that my narcissistic person needs me to think along his lines. While I have compassion for his insecure way of being in the world , I also feel worn out by all of his persudings
Congrats Dr C, certainly well deserved 🎉🎉🎉. Always good to be seen. I had to laugh the other day my son asked a question about his Nana and I just replied oh you know Nana's just off the rails again. My son says quickly it's hard to be off the rails when you were never on them😂😂😂
Dr C you are the heroe it is my comfort just to hear the voice.I live in the middle of all relatives and They are all flying monkeys and appreciate the old cheating narc.I really need support,until I finally get to moove away from the village,and I will.
Wow, Dr. C: 100 MILLION? I’ve listened to each of your videos since discovering your channel-and have learned so much and benefited so greatly…But 100 MILLION??!! Thank you and BIG congratulations!
Dr. Carter you are a blessing. I've been watching your videos for about a month.. They have been very helpful to me. This narcissist seems to be surprised last 2 weeks I can tell. Last week I was getting shamed I calmly said negative then I walked away. Boy was the narcissist surprised. I heard the narcissist say she walked away.
Never enough...sigh...sadly too, too true. Gus is a cutie! Can't resist the terrier mind OR whiskers! I think empaths are inherently accommodating & open to differences. In fact I would say, that empaths appreciate differences which make the world as rich & surprising as it is. Thanks Dr. C for your mid-week discussion!
CONGRATULATIONS, Dr.C 🥳 Well deserved accolades👏👏👏 From a lifetime of fear, denial and confusion, you offer clarity, validation, encouragement and faith. Thank you doesn't express my gratitude❤🙏Much love to you and Gus
I never forget when I was talking to my narc and he tried different things, and I had just listened to your videos about the core values and not being perfect etc, and when I mentioned it to him he didn't know what to do, but was taken aback lol I said like you were talking about, don't you want civility etc he repeated it and he hadn't heard it ever, I could tell, and he didn't know what to do lol it caught him off guard and I actually managed to have a normal conversation, from when he would have got angry and having a go. He agreed he wanted it, but it didn't change anything
"RUDENESS IS THE WEAK PERSON'S IMMITATION OF STRENGTH!" ❤ YOU ARE NOT THE TARGET ❤ When people put you down it is because they are down and they cannot see you from down there!
Gus has been really such a good company for you Dr. C, hope Gus is doing good and many thanks for sharing your lovely personal insight with us all, isn't it Team Healthy🙏🌷🕊💝🤗
Congratulations on 100.000.000 views, Dr Carter 🥳🥳🥳, And yeah, I watched that video where you showed Gus into the camera 😉 Well, I really liked the analogy you made of your dog Poncho, who hid under the truck because he was so scared of his new freedom. It also reminds me of my terrier Daisy I had in my teenage years. Once we were walking on the promenade at the beach there was coming a good hearted Saint Bernard infront of us, who did not seem fearful at all. Out of a sudden Daisy attacked him with her barking because she felt threatened. The Saint Bernard got so horrified that he jumped aside. All people who watched this started laughing. You could also see this as an analogy of a Narcissist, who is insecure and therefore attacks another person, who then gets fearful because of projection. P.S.: Daisy was not afraid of all big sized dogs. Her best friend was a collie.
Congratulations Dr. Carter. You've certainly helped me, and you're my go to guy for narcissism information. I love your accent, and your wisdom. Thank you for all you do.
[18:40] You know, I have been on the giving end and the receiving end. And I am ashamed that I thought, truly believed that it was someone else's job to make "me" happy. I truly didn't know myself (still working on that one!, lol...); and never knew HOW to speak my truth to anyone. I was always so reactionary, because I lacked the skills to resolve any issue that came about. And so afraid of abandonment, that I would get so angry, but I couldn't express why... I really never saw any type of "resolve", in my parents' interactions with each other. I was just left standing there to observe and listen and learn to be afraid of anger. You know, sometimes, I am able to "feel" my parents' humanity. And it hurts my heart so... I so want to be better. More empathy, being more "present" with the people that I care about and who truly care about me. This is my hope... Thank you again, Dr. Carter and Gus. I always have such a warm spot in my heart, when I see Gus peacefully relaxing on your couch, Lol...Brings a smile to my heart.
Wow, congratulations on the 100 million mark🎉 I listen to as many of your videos as I can - more than any other professional on narcissism. I truly think God has allowed you to be on this platform for such a time as this. I am so grateful for the freedom and relief your insights have provided to me and so many others ❤
What an achievment, dear Dr C. There is no more to learn about my 3 Narcs. I am turning now to myself. What a discovery: you mentioned that we can get 'cynical', my N1 calls me sarcastic. I am thinking it out carefully about the meaning of the words. How are my thoughts, how can other people see me? How do i talk to people? I have one overwhelming and obsessive character trait: loyalty. When you were talking about your dog Pancho, i observed, learning from your videos, that 2 friends have trembling hands, one has misterious cramps mothing medically wrong.The obvious one is 'pain in the neck'. Everybody laughs about it: who is the cause? I have now to learn about myself (the puzzle about the weird and own decisions i made in the last 60 years will become clearer? I had a few aaahh)Thank you for being there my dear Dr C.
I love darling Gus as well!!🐾🐾🐾 And I want to add that I really felt your heart today regarding your friends mother. Thank you for dedicating this amazing video to her and the other one you made. They are both really special. It is great she got to taste her freedom but so sad for all the years she endured. Our hearts go out to her, we can all relate. And to your friend as well. Perhaps he can read some of our comments sending love to his mum. It is great he understands her.
The video on Rethinking the Narcissist's Shame Messages is a gem. Together with Calm Confidence, it's the absolute best. Dr Carter, your ministry has changed my life and I am so thankful to God for you.
Way to go for the 100Mil!!!! Wonderful! Your work is touching so many and supporting so many curious to educate themselves on this issue. Cheers to your hard work and dedicated success!
Youre a good man, Dr. C.....WE ALL LOVE YOU!
Thanks so much!!
Yes we do❤❤❤!
Thank you so much for helping us heal🙏
The rigidity of a narcissist’s thinking is beyond belief. They will do anything to hold firm to even the stupidest line of thought.
Yep...No matter how many times or how badly it backfires.Yet they still insist on being the smartest person in the room🙄🤭.
Never thought of it that way but you nailed it. Insane when you think about it but that's exactly what they do. 😳
If I said the sky was blue, he'd say, "No, it's actually teal, depending on the angle of the sun." The topic didn't matter. He just had to make sure I knew how stupid I was.
🎉🎉It’s because you are such a sweet, calming soul who delivers difficult news as a straight shooter with southern charm. Your energy is magnetic. 💕
True
I think my mother made me do the role she didn't want or couldn't. My sisters ended up being her flying monkeys and I was even told if I wasn't there everyone else would be happier 29:23 py.
When the narc keeps you off-balance, it's easy for them to direct you.
Dee-mj3pu you are so right. I am glad you are smart .I still feel triggered by my narcissists .
@@Greenawareness188 You'll get there. Practice. Practice. Practice.
@@Dee-mj3pu Thanks , I appreciate your inciteful answer .
A while ago I 💭 I came up with the right formula for keeping narcs out of my life & I actually wrote it down... Strong boundaries+ healthy high self-esteem+ knowledge about narcs & general toxic behaviors= Narc repellent.This seems to work pretty well for me🙂.
How did you learn boundaries?
@@Dove-gx5gz Well I just focused on what my own personal values & standards are and 💭 about what my standards are for how I treat others & I began expecting others to RECIPROCATE the way I treated them.Sticking to this has helped me immensely with building & maintaining strong healthy boundaries🙂👍🏻👍🏻.
Thank you!
@happyday3368 Exactly👍🏻👍🏻... Having an absolute iron grip on reality is kryptonite to anyone that gaslights & for narcs that's their 🍞 & 🧈 so they'll typically QUICKLY leave you alone or just avoid even approaching you in the 1st place because they can't get their 🦶 in your 🚪.They're con-artist 🚪-to-🚪 salespeople that go from place to place only lingering when there's a open 🚪 for them😉.
Love this, thank you!
My narc plays the silent treatment 90 percent of the time every day. I have learned there is no sense in trying to have a conversation so I try to stay unengaged. After over thirty years I have given up, yet I am unable to financially walk away. These videos have given me back hope yet at the same time I can identify with the fenced yard feeling as a safe place . Thank you for the honest openness you offer your help to those of us struggling within these places in life we've found ourselves in.
To the person who asked if a person that tells you nobody likes you is a narcissist its my opinion that yes they are. I have a narcissistic family member that did that to me. She just kept escalating her anger more and more at me until she finally blew up at me for no apparent reason. She proceeded to tell me that nobody liked me when in reality nobody likes her. She has been this way all my life. She can only go so long before she blows her top and takes it out on whoever happens to be in the line of fire. She has to have her way and she expects everyone to follow suit with her demands. She is very controlling and will try to dominate every situation. My advice is don't take it personal. These people have something damaged inside them that you can't fix.
I grew up with a Narcissist family, especially my mother. One day I was around 9 years old, I had a bright moment. I have always been little wise as they called me, and a strong sense of self. Where it came from, I don't know, but it literally saved me. I had a moment where I thought this isn't right, and I'm gonna ask. Because she had a go at me again and took her anger out. I said mom why are you so angry, do you really have to? Don't you realise you're hurting me? She got interrupted and stopped, and didn't know what to do and said she was only blowing off steam, and I shouldn't take it seriously. I said but mom you're hurting me. Do you really want to hurt me? She didn't know what to say, and calmed down, while sneering.
It was an eye opener.
Congratulations Dr. C and Gus! Every one of those views is someone who was helped or validated. You bring good into the world with your work!!
Thanks so much.
He literally ignores what I say but then repeats it back as if it is his own original thought! Takes credit for everything!
They do everything that way. Nice one minute, trying to irritate you the next. They feed on upsetting you. They do better if they can't see you at all.
Congratulations Dr. C! You deserve all of the accolades headed your way in this chapter of your career! 🎉💖💐
Aka Ministry ! Thank you!
I was kept off track for years. No longer.
AaronK Wolfe, your Your positivity is infectious . Thanks for being you .
Dr. C, I agree with you that we can’t change a narcissist, only God can. We can pray for them that God will change them. He does change people!
100,000,000? I thought I was hearing wrong. What a number! It's a frightening thought though. It means so many people are tethered to these psychopaths. The world is crawling with narcissists and numbers growing. Yikes. Than goodness for Dr. C. I suggest your channel so often, to help navigate these relationships.
Once you see narcissism, you cannot unsee it.
You're right. And every day kids are turned into narcissist on purpose by their parents. We won't run out of narc soon.
"You're never enough" was one of my core beliefs, reinforced since birth. THAT is why I was susceptible to a narcissist. A narcissist knows it (most likely, you've shared it with them) and then later uses it to manipulate you. They know you will do ANYTHING to "be enough."
I too suffer from low self esteem. Thank you for sharing your wise comment .
It happened to me too...I was never good enough...I feel like I never will be.
@mday3821 You already are!
NO ONE gets to define you. Consider the source.....and their motivation.
@@dgvfsa66 Thank you❤️
Oh my God, Yes! @denisegreenhoe1758 "They know you will do ANYTHING to "be enough." OUCH!
100 million!! Wowie!! Helping so many people!!
That's an incredible number of people.
Yes narcissists are that purposeful and manipulative to protect themselves. The non narcissist and empath does not think along these lines. Once you understand that , it is painful but freeing.
They use brute psychological force to get your car onto their track. We take it threateningly when it’s all their insecurity. What are they so afraid of losing??
I believe it might be the stimulant that turns some people on , perhaps some kind of sadism
@@rob-robi: You have a point. In this family of women degradation, this would apply. They get off on it.
they are Bullies& tyrants ( while moaning they the VICTIMS) ugh
@@carolnahigian9518 best explanation
Power and control.
I love seeing Gus! He just lays there nice and peaceful curled up on the couch.
Oh my goodness…Dr. C., thank you for sharing the story of your friend and his mother. When you stated the phrase that your friend’s mother repeated often (she felt that she was “never enough” in her husband’s eyes), I had an almost physical reaction and spontaneously said out loud “Oh my God!”. That is exactly how i have felt over the last 35 years with my narcissistic husband. And my grown children have also felt that way around him. I am now separated from my husband and the last 2 years have been a journey of trying to tell myself that I am in fact “enough”. It has been very hard to keep that “voice” out of my head. But, finding your videos has been life changing. I watch or listen to you every day and have been for the last 6 months. I have to thank you for the gift you have given me (and so many others). Your kindness and decency are so evident and you truly show how much you feel and care for those of us who have been tied to a narcissist (without realizing it). One of my greatest struggles has been knowing the pain my husband endured through his childhood and early teens and I kept feeling that i could “fill that hole” in spite of the anger outbursts, gaslighting, verbal abuse, etc. But you have reminded us that those issues the narcissist deals with are not something we can “fix” nor is it our responsibility. Sorry for this long comment, but I want to thank you again for all you have done and continue to do to help me and others on this journey to eventual peace.
Thanks for the "long" comment. Glad you felt free to share. Yes, you can reclaim yourself even when the N believes otherwise. Tune in tomorrow, and I hope the message hits home!!
@@SurvivingNarcissism I can’t wait to see the video tomorrow! Thank you again!!
Love your post! Dr Carter is the best to see you through your new freedoom.... best wishes and much hope for your future ♡
@@Debra-zy5vg Thank you so much for the support and good wishes! :)
Thank you for sharing your post! I loved reading it. I wish you so much love on your journey back to YOU and your deep knowing that you are more than enough and that deep feeling of loving yourself and wanting to give yourself love and compassion that is going to come. I’m making my way back too leaning from Dr C and healing. You are so courageous for leaving. Your strength is amazing! You did it!!!
Congratulations Dr Carter!!!
So happy for you and your achievements.
You are a kind, helpful, caring man whose helped millions of us get well and stay well.
I am grateful for you and your channel.
So pleased!!
Yup 13 years and never was on my team. And when I wasn't needed anymore threw me under the bus. No I'm not perfect but didn't deserve what I got. Rather than being a victim I do what I can to find my way around it. I absolutely can't get out but I don't have to stay in the same spot mentally. 😊
At what point should a person quit watching videos about recovery from narcissistic abuse? I feel like I got over it, but still find the videos comforting and interesting.
That's a good question that I was asking myself, too, Sage. And I have similar feelings like you. These video's are still comforting and interesting. Once I heard that you better could move forward without watching too much video's. But of course, everyone is free to choose. Perhaps an indicator of stop watching is when you get bored or when you don't move forward because watching is keeping you in your comfortzone 😉
@@roxymovie3938 Thanks for the reply! I like to have these on during a workout or while cooking. I like to hear a nice voice and to learn more about good values. I have twice unsubscribed from the favorite recovery channels, but then want to take a peek, so just re-subscribed. I know a lot of us must feel like we graduated, but it's continuing education. 😉 I like what you said about getting bored, moving forward, and the comfort zone.
I feel recovered, myself, with enough knowledge/understanding to avoid another reoccurrence of what I escaped. What continues to keep me engaged here is the opportunity to reassure others still in escape mode. Sometimes people just need to hear someone honestly tell them, “I hear you. I’ve been there. There is hope.” I’ll help any way I can.
@@aaronkwolfe It's a definite comfort to hear from others who have made it. I recently got through three love bombing attempts - really shook me up. I actually saw it in progress and made a courteous exit. I felt good knowing I had applied my knowledge and that people here would know what I am talking about. Feeling understood, even just knowing people would get this is of great value. Nice to hear from you!
CONGRATSSS 🎉🎉 Well deserved, and thank you! We all are on this journey together!!
Thank-you, Dr. Carter. I was blown away by the 100 million views you have received and yet I keep running into several narcissistic individuals. I thought I was being oversensitive in my observations and deductive reasoning when I would find myself in the presence of another narcissist. Apparently I'm not being overly sensitive. Last night, I was listening to another of your podcasts and was shocked to hear you say that 80% of the population are not capable of analytical thinking - turning inward for self-examination. Now I understand your 100 million views even better.
Dr C you are my hero and Gus is too.The voice is giving me peace,I feel understood,and calm no convincing needed 😢😂
So pleased for you!!
My mother always said nobody liked me and that I couldn't get along with anyone.
You're the best Dr C. You do the Lord's work. Healing people that are in pain! One of the best channels on UA-cam. Keep up the great work🎉
Thanks so much.
God will reward you greatly, I pray that you will be blessed and live long and healthy and be happy. God bless you for all you are doing 🌹
When my Narc "compromised" he made sure he did something to ruin the experience. Complaining and denigrating everything so much that I stopped pushing my preferences!!! He maintained control! How can I enjoy something when you are with someone bent on ruining the experience! Help
Being a role-model for Dignity, Respect and Civility pays great dividends. Congratulations on all the views, Dr. C.
👏⭐😎👏⭐😎👏
Watched this earlier and re-viewing. Chock full of compassion and grace. Thanks for your transparency..keeping it real👍😎
Thank you.
Im so grateful to you...THANKYOU!!!...you're knowledge has changed my life, after 63 years of serving narcissists, being a people pleaser, l have woken up. Thankyou is not enough, Bless you, you wonderful kind wise man❤
One thing I've noticed, not a single narcissistic style person will ever say 'how are you feeling', not meaning it in any case. They don't seem to care what's going on inside anyone else. Very barren inner world's
What a wonderful video. Four years after separation from ex-narc, and no contact with narc-mother, and I am newly discovering preferences. Things my friends have put words to for me - "you are a fibre artist" - and things I have decided to reclaim from childhood, like drawing AND sewing. It sounds so silly, but I feel so brave and rebellious to NOT be in service to anyone! It feels like I am claiming the balanced perspective and sovereignty I was never able to have. I don't have to fit in with anyone else ANYWHERE and it's lovely.
Unlike the dog who didn't know how to manage freedom, you are figuring it out. Way to go!
I hope it starts coming to me more and more over time. Have to really learn those boundaries so I can protect myself and the future I want to create. Thank you for your post!
@@andreacook6000 You are very welcome. Keep your eyes on the horizon, keep Dr C's voice in your ears (because it's easy to slip into old ways of thinking) and one day, you'll look up and realise you are actually having fun xxx
We allrespect you and love you
That's very kind. Thank you.
Congratulations Dr C on 100 million views on Surviving Narcissism! You say you appreciate being on my journey (and that of your other viewers).
I appreciate having been led out of the narcissist's lair, by yourself and Ramani and others like you. Can't thank you enough!
So pleased, Karen! You are why I do these videos.
Congrats Dr. C! You've been a Godsend for me, and through your vids for the last few years, I just left my narc husband which was something I wasn't sure I could do given I left my first husband who was also a malignant narc. My 2nd husband is a malignant psychopath, like my mother. Dr. C and Team Healthy helped free me, and gave me hope. Bless you Dr. C. God and you saved my life because I was dying emotionally/ spiritually/ psychologically. You're a solace and healer. The exhaustion and constant antagonism/ abuse almost made me give up but your vids gave me the strength to leave. Praise God and Dr. C!! ❤
Keep leaning forward!!
Huge congratulations Dr. C! 🎉 I have learned so much from you these past few years in my recovery from long-term narcissistic abuse (from multiple perpetrators). Just the sound of your voice allows me to breath easy, because I know you are a safe person.
You know, I think we're around the same age, but I wish you were my Dad! How different my life would have been if I had you as a parent. I'm getting teared up just imagining it! 😢
If everyone worked together instead of divided we could have solved world hunger years and years ago 😰⏰
Even war wouldn't exist in a utopian 🌎 where everyone worked together...It'd be like living in a really beautiful dream.Although that isn't realistic...We can ALL take a little piece of this utopia along with us & incorporate it into showing kindness/compassion for the good folks that we love.
Sheeeesh this man is a genius. Hey Doc don't let that go to your head hahaa
I sometimes think that me ending up in South Florida decades ago i entered a place where narcissists go to thrive, i began to think much of it was / is normal.
It's a balancing act to work with some, avoid some , and try to avoid the many invitations to join in and be one
Thanks for the kind regards!
The destruction is devastating. Run from these people.
My X (divorced for 13 years now) would block me in a room and ridicule me sometimes for hours at a time. I'm sorry to say I've never gotten over that.
Thank you Dr C for the example of patience and kindness you express in your videos. God Bless!
THIS IS SO GOOD. I RELATE TO MY PAST BULLIES ON MY FAMILY AND THE POLITICAL ENVIRONMENT THESE DAYS AND MY PTSD
Congratulations Dr C on your milestone! Yes, you filled a gap in "the market" where 100 00s of us were looking for help with narcissists that affected us but were not our spouses. Thank You so very much.Julie.
Thanks, Julie!
Absolutely spot on. Needs to be listened to more than once. You revealed/explained a lot of their behavior , thank you.😊
Dr C,
Thanks for being genuine.❤
Thank you.
100,000,000 that’s alot o’0’s, Doc!! YOU, and the Gusmeister, are AHHH-MAZZZZZZ-ING!!! Your channel was my FIRST, and you’re stuck with me!! -Laura 🤩💖🙏🏼🙌THANK YOU!!
Hey Laura...Ok, we're stuck with each other. Let's just make sure we keep moving in the best direction!!
@@SurvivingNarcissism Gettin’ there, one day at a time, with your wisdom and guidance each day-except Fridays, I mean, you should have some downtime with Jennifer and Gus 🙏🏼💖🐶😉🥰
💕💚💚💚🎶🎶✨✨💞💚🩷🐾🐾🐾
Congratulations Dr. C You are fantastic. I watched one of your u tube video many years ago and it gave me all the answers to the madness in my life 😢 I am a victim of PA with my two children and understand all the madness it involves thanks to you Dr.C❤❤❤ life is good know and can only get better
Thank you so much
Mick from Ireland
Thanks Mick!!
A tear was shed on this one😅. Gus.
I hope that you and your friend find comfort in the relationship/friendship that you have with one another. We hurt when a loved one dies , and feel our friends pain when they hurt. I don't have any words of wisdom, and yet I hope you feel better soon.
This is for you (hug) 🤗thank you Dr.C!
Thank you too!
Yeah I was doing great in high school, my extracurriculars were on point, grades great, on track for a great senior year, then suddenly my mom pulled me out of school and moved to another state for no real reason. Took me years to recover from that.
Thank you dr Carter❤ Let us keep moving towards healthiness and Let us stay true to who we are! God bless you❤
#TeamHealthy
Thank you. Your videos have saved my life. You have given me the tools needed to live with my Narc. Thought he had changed after marriage counseling but yesterday the ugly narc inside him emerged full force. I used Grey Rock and wow it worked! And, never enough is also his mantra. The grass was always greener to him. But he always came back. He had me trained like Pavlofs dog.
Keep learning!
Nr1 in world! Helped me to discover what was goin on in my marriage. Especially about vounerable covert narcistism and passive- aggressiveness
Same here. There is very little good resources to understand the vuln narc and their punitive punishing ways. My mother is that way, my father's flying monkey and has contempt disdain and passive aggression fine tuned. The most bizarre part for me is that as soon as they feel okay they're annoyed you're not all happy and jolly at their latest gift or a dinner they've made. It's like they completely forget all the times they used put downs, weren't there, we're accusatory, dismissive. They can say anything and we have to just get over it because they do 'good stuff'. Yet they hold grudges and remember every slight, forever!
@@bereal6590 100%
Dr. C. ...I spent ALOT of time in the past with the Narcissist person who constantly tried to keep me off track. But as a person who has Alot of persistence in her personality, I would always find a way to succeed at what I put my mind to. I' m sure he was very frustrated by me. I still pushed forward and accomplished what I set out to do. He never finished anything he started and then complained. So glad for my persistence in the past and now. There is great gratitude for accomplishing a task. Thank you Dr
C. Hugs for Guss😮❤❤
BTW - wishing you, your family and your puppy 🐶 a wonderful afternoon and as well a nice 😊 evening ahead!
Congratulations 🎊 👏🏼
Thank you so much
So true about thinking that my narcissistic person needs me to think along his lines. While I have compassion for his insecure way of being in the world , I also feel worn out by all of his persudings
Congrats Dr C, certainly well deserved 🎉🎉🎉. Always good to be seen. I had to laugh the other day my son asked a question about his Nana and I just replied oh you know Nana's just off the rails again. My son says quickly it's hard to be off the rails when you were never on them😂😂😂
That made me chuckle.
Dr C you are the heroe it is my comfort just to hear the voice.I live in the middle of all relatives and They are all flying monkeys and appreciate the old cheating narc.I really need support,until I finally get to moove away from the village,and I will.
I do love Gus!!!! He’s a cute lil guy
This was wonderful because it explains how some of my family members think and why they treat others the way they do! Thank you so much Dr. Carter.
Wow, Dr. C: 100 MILLION? I’ve listened to each of your videos since discovering your channel-and have learned so much and benefited so greatly…But 100 MILLION??!! Thank you and BIG congratulations!
You’re quite welcome
Exactly what happened with a "friend"
Dr. Carter you are a blessing. I've been watching your videos for about a month.. They have been very helpful to me. This narcissist seems to be surprised last 2 weeks I can tell. Last week I was getting shamed I calmly said negative then I walked away. Boy was the narcissist surprised. I heard the narcissist say she walked away.
That makes me smile!
Never enough...sigh...sadly too, too true.
Gus is a cutie! Can't resist the terrier mind OR whiskers!
I think empaths are inherently accommodating & open to differences. In fact I would say, that empaths appreciate differences which make the world as rich & surprising as it is. Thanks Dr. C for your mid-week discussion!
Thanks so much!
We Love Gus!!!! 🐾 ❤️
CONGRATULATIONS, Dr.C 🥳 Well deserved accolades👏👏👏 From a lifetime of fear, denial and confusion, you offer clarity, validation, encouragement and faith. Thank you doesn't express my gratitude❤🙏Much love to you and Gus
You're most welcome!
So grateful for u, Dr. C, and Team Healthy💖🙏🕊💖🤗!
I never forget when I was talking to my narc and he tried different things, and I had just listened to your videos about the core values and not being perfect etc, and when I mentioned it to him he didn't know what to do, but was taken aback lol I said like you were talking about, don't you want civility etc he repeated it and he hadn't heard it ever, I could tell, and he didn't know what to do lol it caught him off guard and I actually managed to have a normal conversation, from when he would have got angry and having a go. He agreed he wanted it, but it didn't change anything
Thank you for answering my question about the narcissist's repetitiveness. Your insights are so valuable!
"RUDENESS IS THE WEAK PERSON'S IMMITATION OF STRENGTH!" ❤ YOU ARE NOT THE TARGET ❤ When people put you down it is because they are down and they cannot see you from down there!
Congratulations, Dr. Carter💯👏☺
Gus has been really such a good company for you Dr. C, hope Gus is doing good and many thanks for sharing your lovely personal insight with us all, isn't it Team Healthy🙏🌷🕊💝🤗
Dr Les Carter ❤ thank u so much for sharing
Thanks for watching!
Congratulations Dr. C!!!
You deserve it!
And THANKYOU ❤
Thanks so much!
Congratulations, Dr. C!!!!! I can't begin to express how much I appreciate and enjoy you and Gus!! Thank you!!!
Thank you!
Huge ATTABOI to you,
And GUS too. ☺️☺️☺️.
Thanks!!
Well hello again Wonderful Gus. And it's great to hear your pops talk about you. I lice hearing about you Gus. Blessings and love.
Congratulations on 100.000.000 views, Dr Carter 🥳🥳🥳, And yeah, I watched that video where you showed Gus into the camera 😉
Well, I really liked the analogy you made of your dog Poncho, who hid under the truck because he was so scared of his new freedom.
It also reminds me of my terrier Daisy I had in my teenage years. Once we were walking on the promenade at the beach there was coming a good hearted Saint Bernard infront of us, who did not seem fearful at all. Out of a sudden Daisy attacked him with her barking because she felt threatened. The Saint Bernard got so horrified that he jumped aside. All people who watched this started laughing.
You could also see this as an analogy of a Narcissist, who is insecure and therefore attacks another person, who then gets fearful because of projection.
P.S.: Daisy was not afraid of all big sized dogs. Her best friend was a collie.
Great story!! Hope the St Bernard didn't pee all over himself!!
@@SurvivingNarcissism Thanks, Dr Carter. No, St Bernhard did not pee all over himself🤭
Congratulations Dr. Carter. You've certainly helped me, and you're my go to guy for narcissism information. I love your accent, and your wisdom. Thank you for all you do.
Hatbox948 , How are you doing ? I think you were moving .
100 Million!!!! So well deserved, Dr. Carter! You bring us your humanity and remind us of ours. GOD Bless You, Sir! 🕊🥰💖💯🙏
Congratulations Dr Carter you are a treasure and so is Gus!
Congratulations!
Your efforts and information are greatly appreciated! ❤
May God bless you Dr. Carter and your family. Thank you for equipping us with dignity and psychological support. Let love rule.
Such kind thoughts.
@@SurvivingNarcissism congratulations with your ovet 100,000,000 million subscribers 👏!
You are so knowledgeable and have good intentions, an antidote to the narcissism out there. ❤
Thanks, Shirley!
[18:40] You know, I have been on the giving end and the receiving end. And I am ashamed that I thought, truly believed that it was someone else's job to make "me" happy. I truly didn't know myself (still working on that one!, lol...); and never knew HOW to speak my truth to anyone. I was always so reactionary, because I lacked the skills to resolve any issue that came about. And so afraid of abandonment, that I would get so angry, but I couldn't express why... I really never saw any type of "resolve", in my parents' interactions with each other. I was just left standing there to observe and listen and learn to be afraid of anger. You know, sometimes, I am able to "feel" my parents' humanity. And it hurts my heart so... I so want to be better. More empathy, being more "present" with the people that I care about and who truly care about me. This is my hope... Thank you again, Dr. Carter and Gus. I always have such a warm spot in my heart, when I see Gus peacefully relaxing on your couch, Lol...Brings a smile to my heart.
Wow. Don't know about anybody else but I got emotional listening to the Poncho story. Felt very deeply...
Wow, congratulations on the 100 million mark🎉 I listen to as many of your videos as I can - more than any other professional on narcissism. I truly think God has allowed you to be on this platform for such a time as this. I am so grateful for the freedom and relief your insights have provided to me and so many others ❤
Thank you!
What an achievment, dear Dr C.
There is no more to learn about my 3 Narcs. I am turning now to myself. What a discovery: you mentioned that we can get 'cynical', my N1 calls me sarcastic. I am thinking it out carefully about the meaning of the words. How are my thoughts, how can other people see me? How do i talk to people? I have one overwhelming and obsessive character trait: loyalty.
When you were talking about your dog Pancho, i observed, learning from your videos, that 2 friends have trembling hands, one has misterious cramps mothing medically wrong.The obvious one is 'pain in the neck'. Everybody laughs about it: who is the cause?
I have now to learn about myself (the puzzle about the weird and own decisions i made in the last 60 years will become clearer? I had a few aaahh)Thank you for being there my dear Dr C.
🎉🥰✌️💞 Congrats Dr. C! My life is blessed for you being in it. Forever grateful for your kind, loving, and wise teachings. P
You are so welcome
Congratulations!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
A hundred million thanks
Dr. Carter, congratulations!!!
Thank you.
I love darling Gus as well!!🐾🐾🐾
And I want to add that I really felt your heart today regarding your friends mother. Thank you for dedicating this amazing video to her and the other one you made. They are both really special. It is great she got to taste her freedom but so sad for all the years she endured. Our hearts go out to her, we can all relate. And to your friend as well. Perhaps he can read some of our comments sending love to his mum. It is great he understands her.
Thank you so much! We are in touch often, and he knows about the video.
The video on Rethinking the Narcissist's Shame Messages is a gem. Together with Calm Confidence, it's the absolute best.
Dr Carter, your ministry has changed my life and I am so thankful to God for you.
Thanks so much, Michele.
They were keeping me off track long time ago but I figured out many empty pieces of the puzzle
Many congratulations and thank you ❤
Congratulations Dr. C! Thank you for helping all of us! I love the side story about Gus ❤
You're welcome.
Way to go for the 100Mil!!!! Wonderful! Your work is touching so many and supporting so many curious to educate themselves on this issue. Cheers to your hard work and dedicated success!