When You See THIS, It's Narcissism, Guaranteed

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  • Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
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    • When You See THIS, It'...
    • When You See THIS, It'...

КОМЕНТАРІ • 604

  • @colleen6050
    @colleen6050 Рік тому +300

    Yes, they want to be the center of attention, but don't always show it. Covert Narcissists or Vulnerable Narcissists are not grandiose. They are passive-aggressive and in my opinion, far more dangerous.

    • @Inkbkank.2029
      @Inkbkank.2029 Рік тому +6

      Wat if they’re grandiose

    • @michelleperkins9886
      @michelleperkins9886 Рік тому +8

      I’ll agree, after being with my spouse for over 50 years. Why did I never leave him? I got his number a long time ago and learned very well. I”m financially secure on my own, abd because I’ve always been the target, his grandchildren still have their Pops.

    • @michelleperkins9886
      @michelleperkins9886 Рік тому +4

      TOTALLY

    • @carieyounginsurance
      @carieyounginsurance Рік тому +3

      Amen!!

    • @Beantastrophe
      @Beantastrophe Рік тому +12

      They can be calculated as they keep to themselves, but not every quiet person is a covert narcissist. It's like someone with social anxiety who is afraid to be the center of attention and judgement, but they seem to be judgmental and wanting attention.

  • @helco2856
    @helco2856 Рік тому +77

    "when people show you who they really are believe them the first time" - that' statement alone will always stick with me.

  • @hidanx7
    @hidanx7 Рік тому +171

    When demons can't get u they send u a Narcissist 🤷‍♂

    • @runningwithscissors1564
      @runningwithscissors1564 Рік тому

      Narcs are riddled with demons.

    • @tsunshinegal9102
      @tsunshinegal9102 Рік тому +22

      But a narcissist has “demons” inside them.
      Eg Jezebel spirit .

    • @dbahardstyle1
      @dbahardstyle1 Рік тому +1

      Putting demons to childhood trauma is a little drastic my dude

    • @joshuablair252
      @joshuablair252 Рік тому

      @@dbahardstyle1 those "childhood traumas" are still choices they make on a consistent every day basis that they choose to make. Even if it isn't conscious at times, it is very much a choice.
      Making some mistakes doesn't make you a rotten person. Doing those mistakes and never apologizing for it makes you one. There isn't a good thing about these people
      Even their apologies are empty and only used to gain something (when you tell them to apologize or you'll never even talk to them again, which is necessary until you realize who they are)
      I wouldn't say it's a stretch at all. Demons jump in and out of people all the time, in vulnerable states. It happens alot when people get black out drunk
      Sweet people can kill people when they're black out drunk.
      You can't sit here and say these people don't have demons or they themselves are
      These are the same people who will use their kids as a weapon against their father, who will cheat and steal against you when you've known them for 20 years.
      Every single thing you do is a choice.
      It makes you weak minded to think otherwise
      Apologizing and changing your ways takes courage.
      To these sub humans (yes, they are they don't give a shit about you, they only care about themselves and how you make them feel) they'll throw you under the bus and they ONLY get worse with age because they get more bold

    • @reesedaniel5835
      @reesedaniel5835 Рік тому +6

      @@tsunshinegal9102 True. However, the human has to agree to do what the demons want them to do. The narc has free will to do good or evil so they are still held fully responsible when the inevitable final Judgment comes....

  • @Elviladia
    @Elviladia Рік тому +49

    Signs of Narcissism:
    1. They need to be the centre of attention. Need external validation to feel like they have value. They're highly insecure with themselves. You feel sorry for them, and might want to help them, but it can never be fixed.
    2. They're constantly triggered, and you don't know what's going to set them off. Narcissistic rage. Lash out and go crazy over the smallest things.
    3. They have no empathy for anybody else because all they can see is themselves and their insecurities/self-worth.
    4. The best of everything, they need to have the best or look the best. Constantly bragging about accomplishments.
    5. Covert Narcs may not brag, they're more likely to be like "woe is me" or be more passive-aggressive or humble but still feel like they deserve special treatment.
    6. Manipulative, to get what they want. They lie and withhold information to get what they want. Stretch the truth. Withhold sex/resources/compliments etc.
    7. They can love bomb you, and they can future fake you. All manipulative ways to get control of you.
    8. Extremely jealous and competitive of competition.
    9. Always have to be right and look good in social situations.
    10. If things don't go their way, they can throw tantrums/meltdowns/be defensive.
    11. It's never their fault, projection/deflection.
    WHEN PEOPLE SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM THE FIRST TIME. ABORT MISSION.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +1

      This might help you better as well slay.rebeccazung.com/home

    • @chautran2588
      @chautran2588 Рік тому

      Per one video, the most important personal skill is to control one's emotions, they lack this skill probably due to childhood drama. They are good at bringing others down by expressing their fear, their holiness, their rage but they can also mimic your personality to be your soul mate if they can.

    • @pei-hsuanli6017
      @pei-hsuanli6017 Рік тому

      When I told to friends that they were said I thinking too much.

  • @xenajade6264
    @xenajade6264 Рік тому +53

    After a while I was on eggshells trying to make sure my expression and tone were just perfect so as not to set him off on a rant. Even a compliment could be interpreted as an insult. Almost literally everything I did or said would elicit an outraged response. It was hell, and for some reason I put up with it for 10 years.

    • @Ky_AG5
      @Ky_AG5 7 місяців тому

      I’m going through the same thing. I work overtime just to stay away. The worst part is the lies that he was spreading to his family AND mine and the put downs when I was pregnant, then when I had my child he started filling her head with negativity towards me. Everyone can’t stand him … his family friends and he can’t hold a job because of it. I’m taking my kids and leaving!! He wasn’t like that when we first got married , he was putting on a show. The worst thing is when his parents were dying of cancer ESPECIALLY his mother, he stole all her money and used all her treatment money for himself. She sued him as her last resort to teach him a lesson before she died. After she died, he didn’t get what he wanted…. He said she was fucking him over from the grave. No respect for anyone. So he has no one to help him or anything but leans on my family for everything. He’s screwed over them plenty and he is cut off and cut off from me now too. It’s going to be difficult to leave. But I will NOT be taken advantage of again.

  • @intertubicular
    @intertubicular Рік тому +49

    I know a Narcissist. This person is very mean spirited and genuinely enjoys calling people out in front of others to shame and humiliate them. It's like this person thrives and relishes on hurting other people's feelings. Always there to belittle and pick apart everything somebody does. This person ALWAYS has to be the center of attention and interrupts anyone else having a conversation that they are not included in. I can't stand being around this person. I feel drained and unhappy after spending any time with this Black Hole of a human being.

    • @natandjoec
      @natandjoec Рік тому +7

      Oh wow. I have someone like this in my life too. It's exhausting. I'm sorry.

    • @dark7angel456
      @dark7angel456 Рік тому +5

      I totally relate to you!!
      I feel the same way!@

    • @misled_perceptions
      @misled_perceptions Рік тому +3

      My recent ex wife is like that

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
      This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/

    • @loudiaz1292
      @loudiaz1292 7 місяців тому

      My brother is like thar

  • @AliciaRodriguez1234
    @AliciaRodriguez1234 Рік тому +53

    Love that “ fly out of there like your hair is on fire “ it doesn’t get better!!! 💯

  • @LyndieLouWho
    @LyndieLouWho Рік тому +18

    When I first married my husband my m-i-l used to use her key to come in our house while we were at work and pour food in the vents, hide food under beds, etc in an attempt to attract roaches and ants so that she could tell everyone what a horrible housekeeper I am.
    Once I realized what was happening I confronted her about it but she lied and denied and told me to stop blaming her for my poor housekerping.
    I had the locks changed and refused to give her a key which TOTALLY pissed her off.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +1

      Thanks for sharing with us! So what is one point that you start using today?

    • @reesedaniel5835
      @reesedaniel5835 Рік тому +3

      And I bet all the food ending up in strange places stopped!

    • @LyndieLouWho
      @LyndieLouWho Рік тому +2

      @@reesedaniel5835 yes it did 😄

  • @karennelson6272
    @karennelson6272 Рік тому +63

    TOTALLY! Was married to a covert narcissist for 15 years! I am so happy to say I am OUT and I am so grateful and happy ❤ Thank you Rebecca for the wonderful videos!

  • @wildfeather
    @wildfeather Рік тому +36

    The takeaway for me is their "value comes from the outside world". Since most people's value does not come from the outside world, we think we can go deeper with the narcissist in some way. It has taken at least twenty of your videos for this important point to sink in. ... I review your videos each day and am amazed at how much starts making sense after repeated viewing.

  • @LOVEtoPLAYdrums
    @LOVEtoPLAYdrums Рік тому +28

    The narcs abuse cycle makes you want to use vices like smoking and drinking... I just ended 35 years of narcs abuse on Jan 9th and realize how bad my vices were... The unprocessed guilt and shame happens... The narcs makes you question everything about your self... Now I have to make plans to quit all vices and I never wanted any vices in my life... It was all a replacement for what a healthy family has...
    No one was born to be manipulated...

    • @Grrrrrrr123
      @Grrrrrrr123 Рік тому +9

      Exactly this 🙏

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +1

      Sorry to hear about what you've been through! Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

    • @LOVEtoPLAYdrums
      @LOVEtoPLAYdrums Рік тому +1

      @@RebeccaZungEsq I've been thru a lot of therapy too! I'm on my best healing path and discovering things about myself I really didn't know were in plain sight...@this point I have 3 therapists... So I always have a lot of therapy work to do...
      Thank you for making your videos! Helps me a lot right now...

    • @NopeNotTodaySatan
      @NopeNotTodaySatan Рік тому +1

      You are sooo right!!!! I wish you the best, you’ve got this!!! 🙏

    • @ktwhimsy6946
      @ktwhimsy6946 Рік тому +6

      They project all their internal shame onto you, everything they accused you of, every time they put you down or twisted the truth, it had nothing to do with you, it was all to inflate/protect their persona they created to hide how truly awful they are. That shame & guilt never belonged to you, it was all theirs. I hope you are healing & can have a lot of compassion for yourself along the way ❤

  • @susan6390
    @susan6390 7 місяців тому +2

    This rings true. The withholding, lack of empathy, a con artist,, ect. I can't emotionally handle this man. Don't think he is human!

  • @heathercraig3614
    @heathercraig3614 Рік тому +24

    I finally released a narcissist (friend), they were consistently stretching the truth, had to be the center of the conversation and "a know it all" the "one-upper" just like the SNL Penelope skit,. on the flip side when they were hurting emotionally I would get the "therapy" calls alot - once in a while we all need support but not predominately - if your friendship is not 50/50 take inventory, on yourself and them. Make sure your tribe has your vibe and your back : ) Peace Love Light

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      Sending you light! Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

  • @nicks4548
    @nicks4548 Рік тому +20

    Totally .. All of the time. I finally had enough and walked away from the relationship...

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      I know you got this! Keep SLAYing!
      Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

  • @luminescence7584
    @luminescence7584 Рік тому +10

    Many are not grandiose and attention seeking. Many are holding back and watching.

  • @marciasantelli-jones1557
    @marciasantelli-jones1557 Рік тому +12

    I’ve discovered Female Covert Narcissists tend to be extremely jealous, insecure and the obvious Red flag is they can never be genuinely happy for any positive things or events that come your way.
    Rebecca, I could see you as prime target for the above style C. Narcissist, based on your attractive, successful career and positive cheerleader for others. Lately, I’ve had many clients dealing with these same type insecure of ladies. I’m hoping a few of us can eventually turn the tide.

    • @stevevonrumpf9842
      @stevevonrumpf9842 Рік тому +1

      Omg! I gave my wife every benefit of the doubt. No more! Five years has been too long. I am taking my sanity back. In public, she comes across as so sweet, so she has a lot of people fooled. Won't Get Fooled Again.

  • @m.p.-rdf1111
    @m.p.-rdf1111 Рік тому +18

    It’s all truth about covert narcissists,experienced personally.. I’m moving on

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      Happy to hear that you are taking steps towards healing! Do you have a good support system in place?

  • @mehradhondy2438
    @mehradhondy2438 Рік тому +14

    TOTALLY! My adoptive mother is a malignant narcissist. My adoptive father is a covert narcissist. I’m not going to lie….I think I may even have some covert narcissism in myself….I can say however I am the only one working on myself in sobriety and hold myself accountable and feel what I feel

    • @PreYeah
      @PreYeah Рік тому +3

      I’m adopted too and I’m finding both my parents are narcissists. My dad is covert, my mom more overt. He is passive while she is aggressive and her aggression made my dad’s weakness appear like kindness. It’s such a distortion of perspective that gets created in these twisted dynamics. It’s heartbreaking what we have had to live with and live through!

  • @kmiller36
    @kmiller36 Рік тому +6

    My mom is jealous of me, I’m tired of trying with her rage and anger, I’m tired of waking on egg shells my entire life and I always “get in trouble” my heart is heavy but I am for the first time setting boundaries with her

  • @leslieb8614
    @leslieb8614 Рік тому +7

    Totally. I get a bad gut feeling about them. My gut is never wrong

  • @yukio_saito
    @yukio_saito Рік тому +10

    That's TOTALLY my ex-friend. He looks nice and kind, but his former spouses escaped from him🏃‍♀

    • @runningwithscissors1564
      @runningwithscissors1564 Рік тому +2

      I dated a man who had been dating around for 35+ years. None of his relationships, according to him, lasted past the two year mark. Why? He wouldn’t directly say. He would almost always leave them, though.

  • @Bianca-sw5id
    @Bianca-sw5id Рік тому +5

    Rebecca 🥰 , they talk so much it's exhausting to listen to . . . they exaggerate so well not everyone can tell it's a lie. The insults and bullying 😣

  • @RebeccaZungEsq
    @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +9

    Do you want to know more about the signs of narcissism and what to do when you see them? Join me in my free webinar where I offer tips and tricks. Reserve your seat here. icanslay.com

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +3

      I'll see you all there!

    • @rlong8038
      @rlong8038 Рік тому

      Do you have anything on how to get out with little or no money? Apartment rent here is outrageous.

  • @whereisyourhumanity7557
    @whereisyourhumanity7557 Рік тому +8

    yes! " a narcissist for you; a narcissist for everybody!
    they are everywhere now that I recognize them. the bleeding effers.

  • @dark7angel456
    @dark7angel456 Рік тому +7

    This clarifies for sure why I felt so down around certain people and I didn't know why until I realized that they are very narcissistic

  • @GRANMotherH3N
    @GRANMotherH3N Рік тому +18

    I'm out of my relationship now, but he controlled everything, what I wore who I saw (which was no one except who he introduced me to), denied me of friends. I made excuses for his behaviour. He demanded sex and promised me a new start & marriage within months of the start of our relationship. It ended in violence! 9 years on, I'm physically and mentally still living with the consequences. He would put me over the coals after I failed to call him after he visited the doctors. I had cd's thrown at me, name calling, putting me down, texting wishing me dead. I just wish I got out sooner, but I'm now disabled because of what he did to me. I can't turn back time, but you should listen to this person to avoid the same fate as me. BTW narcissists don't ever apologise, and mean it! It's always because of something you have done or make excuses for external sources.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +3

      Sorry to hear about what you've been through. Do you have a good support system in place?

    • @donnahilton471
      @donnahilton471 Рік тому

      Sadly true.😥

    • @GRANMotherH3N
      @GRANMotherH3N Рік тому +3

      @Rebecca Zung 9 years on, after his conviction of assault against me, I'm still fighting for compensation. I can't say no more, as it is still ongoing.

    • @gailnichols1284
      @gailnichols1284 Рік тому +1

      Prayers sent your way.

  • @venuspsychicmasseuse
    @venuspsychicmasseuse Рік тому +5

    Totally a sieve ! once you get over the shock of understanding these creatures you get stronger and stronger at spoting them and knowing how to deal with em

  • @ajsmith9800
    @ajsmith9800 Рік тому +10

    Totally. Covert narcissists are the hardest, I guess, to see, for who they are. I was married to one for 30 years.

    • @reesedaniel5835
      @reesedaniel5835 Рік тому

      Yes they are hardest to see and most never see them at all because they only show their real evil selves to their chosen target(s). The rest see their fake mask of "great person" "pillar of the community" "poor victim/martyr" etc etc. This is all according to their scheme to make the true target/victim look "crazy" when they attempt to get others to see what's happening behind the scenes.

  • @michaeljonas7604
    @michaeljonas7604 Рік тому +3

    Its mind boggling,to know these people have such an emptiness in there heart,and be so nasty and cruel to the very people they say they love,I actually feel sorry for my Narcissist knowing that she'll always be miserable,and never really be able to know Love like a Healthy person.

  • @michelemurphy3541
    @michelemurphy3541 Рік тому +14

    Totally.
    Took me a very long time to start to process this | grasp it in the simplest way. A few years later, still piecing the puzzle riddle together and it is nothing short of brutal.
    They are often sadistic, which is very difficult to deal with.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      This might help you better as well slay.rebeccazung.com/home

  • @eastafrika728
    @eastafrika728 Рік тому +1

    The hole in the Narcissist is called anxiety that forms an obsessive compulsion to organize everything and everyone for his or her physical survival.

  • @rllght
    @rllght Рік тому +56

    I have something to say about how covert narcissists satisfy their twisted grandiosity and need for attention. The ones that I dealt with before were so jealous of everyone and everything they came across, they didn't like to see others being praised or be in the limelight at all. But being a covert and coward, instead of actively grabbing others' attention like a grandiose narcissist would do, covert with their "I want to be the center of attention but I also want to look humble and take zero accountability" mentality, they would suddenly(and often times awkwardly) turn to people besides them and try to start a conversation or jokes, or whatever moves they could think of, so to "gently but surely" redirect all the attentions on the spot to themselves while appealing reluctant and less greedy to everyone else! Despite their insincere and false humility, you still clearly get the idea they wanted to send - that "I'm not approve of your attentions and nice gestures to others but me. But I'm courteous enough to not raise my objection openly."
    When covert narcissists pull the act, I always find the sight triggering my gag reflect.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +2

      Yes! What was your favorite part of the video?

    • @rllght
      @rllght Рік тому +3

      @@RebeccaZungEsq My favorite part would be that you summarized the attributes of narcissism in people in a succinct way that helps with recognizing and memorizing them.

    • @ktwhimsy6946
      @ktwhimsy6946 Рік тому +13

      This is spot on… my ex would literally say things like “most people who know me well think I’m the nicest, most humble guy they know”… uh - you realize you’re literally bragging about being more humble than everyone else? 😮

    • @darlenesutton7248
      @darlenesutton7248 Рік тому +7

      You are right my ex told me he was very jealous of my daughter and I relationship also he said he was jealous of my grand kids jealous of anything and anyone.

    • @king-qo8fi
      @king-qo8fi Рік тому +2

      TOTALLY

  • @michaelprosser3466
    @michaelprosser3466 Рік тому +12

    There is a guy in our bowling league that fits every one of these descriptions. Absolutely correct Rebecca

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      Thank you so much! How long have you been dealing with this person?

    • @michaelprosser3466
      @michaelprosser3466 Рік тому

      @@RebeccaZungEsq while at bowling. He went ahead and changed our team name without consulting with anyone including my wife the team captain we showed our disappointment and he quit. Good riddance

  • @sweetea7035
    @sweetea7035 Рік тому +2

    They always create drama so they can make a grand exit, you're left thinking...."what the hell was that"

  • @suzielittrell9244
    @suzielittrell9244 Рік тому +10

    Totally. I am the cautionary tale. You name most things i have been subjected to all my life. Parent, spouse, children, coworkers….

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
      This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/

    • @suzielittrell9244
      @suzielittrell9244 Рік тому

      @@RebeccaZungEsq no. I am finding it hard to want to live much more. People are so mean. They are so cruel. I sit in a chair after working all day and then go to bed. I try to life as small as possible but I still get in trouble. If it wasn’t for Jesus….

  • @dankubal7292
    @dankubal7292 11 місяців тому +1

    Totally!!! Am married to one now.will be 9 years soon and want to get the hell out of this.the cheating,the roller coaster ride of emotions I'm on I've had enough

  • @moto083c
    @moto083c Рік тому +13

    Your videos have been incredibly helpful for me to deal my narcissistic mother. She has been out of my life for over a year now. No contact. Thank you. Keep it up 🙂

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +1

      You are so welcome! What is one point that you want to start using today? 🙌
      Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

    • @kmiller36
      @kmiller36 Рік тому +5

      I’m setting boundaries with my mon right now, I’m 53 and this is the first time I have ever made a boundary…she created lies and drama during her visit Thanksgiving…my dad is 80 and blames me without even listening to me…it’s all sad

  • @_Fierce_Bear
    @_Fierce_Bear Рік тому +11

    Great video, thanks for sharing. Let's not forget the gaslighting, competition against the partner's kids, and their empty threats. ;)

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +2

      You are so welcome! YES! So how can you starting slaying? 😊

    • @_Fierce_Bear
      @_Fierce_Bear Рік тому +2

      @@RebeccaZungEsq for gaslighting, the best answer is "I don't care", for competition against own kids, best answer is "my kid is irreplaceable", and for their empty threats, the answer is "go ahead!". Then it is best to discard the narcissist, before we get discarded. Then, no-contact; very powerful. My narcissist was a covert, entered in a very romantic manner, good for a movie; and ended crossing so many lines, that had to be dismissed.

  • @tankgirl1749
    @tankgirl1749 Рік тому +7

    Totally, my husband is a covert.

  • @detroitsdarling
    @detroitsdarling 6 місяців тому

    In my experience with it. You are always their option. Never their choice. They will make you crazy if you stay long enough or try to set boundaries. You will wonder yourself if you are crazy if you stay in it long enough. Even after over a decade of excuses this man could never commit to me and he was never going to. I was just a placemat in case no-one else better came along. It's not our fault as humans that we get so caught up in it. Love is actually blind to the brain until you touch that hot stove too many times.

  • @JacK-qn4zh
    @JacK-qn4zh Рік тому +16

    Being gray rocked now for saying I don't like some things. One line or one word responses in text.
    Why do I feel guilty? She knows it's all true!!

    • @KDP7777
      @KDP7777 Рік тому +4

      Yup im being gray rocked for saying I don’t want to rush into this relationship with him.

    • @b19xx
      @b19xx Рік тому +7

      @@KDP7777 Turn around and RUN!

    • @AZDC99
      @AZDC99 Рік тому +4

      It's ironic being grey-rocked by the people we were advised to grey-rock. It makes some targets like myself--for a split second--gaslight ourselves into wondering IF we're really the narc or not?! It's a red flag of theirs that I ignored a few too many times myself

    • @maryjowhite8058
      @maryjowhite8058 Рік тому +4

      When people show you who they are believe them! Yes a great reminder.

    • @AZDC99
      @AZDC99 Рік тому +3

      @@FenianPhoenixRises I couldn't have phrased it any better! It's like trying to make a fine line between oil and water poured into a measuring cup together. It's two completely different things for different reasons

  • @PassionateFlower
    @PassionateFlower Рік тому +15

    I've noticed many narcissists in my life engage in "common enemy bonding".
    Where the core central bond between the narcissist and another person or group is centered around hatred or contempt for a certain person or group. And without that shared enemy the "relationship" quickly dissolves because it wasn't really based around anything else.
    Or "shared activity" bonding where the relationship is based only around one main hobby, sport, or interest. Usually one that is of great interest to the narcissist more than the other person who is bonding through the activity to get closer to the narcissist and ultimately tires of the activity and asks directly for closeness regardless of participation in the activity. Like a father and son whose only bobd is fishing but the son doesn't really like fishing but the dad is only willing to spend time with the son if the son agrees to go fishing but the son finally gets sick of fishing and the dad stops bothering to initiate any further interaction emotionally abandoning him.

  • @natandjoec
    @natandjoec Рік тому +4

    Oh my gosh. There is a woman who has mistreated me for about 8 years. It's been 8 years of me trying to understand what is wrong with me and all along it's been her. I should have realized considering I do not have this relationship with anyone else that I know. Even though she kept telling me that I was the problem. The worst part of all, she hardly lets anyone else see it, so if I confide in anyone, they call me crazy

  • @cassiebrown9786
    @cassiebrown9786 Рік тому +9

    Funny this video happened. I was engaging in conversation with a service worker the other day. It was strictly business, but we shared some laughs. My narcissist neighbor was watching from a distance and had to make her presence noticed. As this man was leaving, she had to run after him to get his attention. I can imagine he was thinking "who is this nutjob?". 😄 Never ending with that one.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
      This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/

  • @touchofclass3836
    @touchofclass3836 Рік тому +4

    Yes, yes, yes on each and every one, lol I wish I found your channel sooner!!! Hppy to say, he's now my X!!!!

  • @amandachristine9286
    @amandachristine9286 Рік тому +2

    My ex used to say he was the ONLY person at his work that knows ANYTHING. He is the one that keeps the whole entire business afloat. 😂😂😂 EVERYBODY else is completely incompetent. It took me a while to realize that he was a narcissist. It was when he became extremely critical and cruel to me for no reason. I would question myself and try to figure out what I did or didn’t do. It got really horrible.

  • @highill2890
    @highill2890 Рік тому +13

    I was staying with my sister, helping her until last week. She got a job, she’s made $12,000 in two months and I have nothing, I’m disabled, homeless now, my daughter is stressed to the point of severe seizures. So tired of trying 😢

    • @camelglove
      @camelglove Рік тому +7

      I have sibl8ngs like this. They get everything they can out of you, give back nothing...and have no empathy for you or your plight.

    • @LizCooper1983
      @LizCooper1983 Рік тому +5

      I've been homeless for 5 years bud,I still have nothing. And tried to get him to sign the paperwork for the last 9 years. He finally did it because he don't wanna be found out about what he has done.

    • @camelglove
      @camelglove Рік тому +1

      Totally!

    • @highill2890
      @highill2890 Рік тому +2

      @@LizCooper1983 I don’t like talking about it. I'm disabled,The lower lumbar section of my back was crushed on 12/5/04, more than 18 years ago. Since that day it's been very few I have been able to enjoy. That just so happen to be my first vacation in over four years working 75 plus hours weekly trying to give my family a life to enjoy. I lost my income 30 consecutive months which resulted the loss of Everything I ever worked for when the government didn’t comply with more than 2/3rds of my backpay. It’s been nothing but a struggle since. I also have extremely limited use of my left leg/ foot along with my right arm.
      I watched my kids grow up seeing their friends enjoy things I could never support them with. All of us continue to struggle today. 3/22/23 will make 7 years they lost their Mom to suicide
      My lifelong dream has always been a Shelby Mustang, my dream now is to better my kids lives. That would be a true blessing. Thank you and good luck

    • @LizCooper1983
      @LizCooper1983 Рік тому +1

      I know the feeling I broke my tailbone off

  • @chantellesavoie5854
    @chantellesavoie5854 Рік тому +17

    just wanted to say she is talking about individuals who have "narcissistic personality disorder" alot of people can have narcissistic traits but "NPD" is a whole nother entity of "human" hard to classify them as human from my personal experience. Thank you so much for your information

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta Рік тому

      most people have narcissistic traits as well as empathic traits, in empaths empathic traits outweigh the narcissistic traits, but can be eroded by external factors, such as the presence of a narcissist..
      Lesser school narcissist lack emotional and cognitive empathy, but mid range and upper schools have cognitive empathy, lesser school do not operate a facade, mid rangers have a facade but it is unconsciously maintained, upper school consciously maintain a facade..
      check HG TUDOR for more about narcissism

    • @bonnieleffel9571
      @bonnieleffel9571 Рік тому

      I totally agree with your statement. I have a few of these traits but I have empathy for others and feel guilt.

    • @milkywayranchsc
      @milkywayranchsc Рік тому

      That is not accurate. The worst and most harmful narcissistic people do NOT have NPD. It's only called a disorder if the behavior is causing distress to the narcissist. It's not called NPD when, as in most cases, it is only the people around them who suffer. They have to be self aware and seek help to have NPD.

  • @23Wisdom16
    @23Wisdom16 Рік тому +3

    Dealing with the heartbreak from a covert

  • @elmaswanepoel1598
    @elmaswanepoel1598 Рік тому +5

    Totally. Hard to deal with a covert, vulnerable narcissist

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      Sorry to hear about what you've been through. You got this! Keep SLAYing!
      Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

  • @baneverything5580
    @baneverything5580 Рік тому +6

    Well, here`s a short description of my sister: she lays on the couch watching reruns from the 1960s and Dr Pimple Popper and Hoarders. That`s it. And she told me "Don`t pet it or feed it and it will go away." when a starving dog showed up begging me for help. She complains about what I choose to do with my money and is especially furious because I`m buying solar power and is now making threats over it because I`m on disability and living on a lot she owns. She and my nephew would open my mail and packages, used to ransack my room when I was there if I left to go anywhere, and she wants me to be 100% dependent on her for food and everything. Or ELSE!
    I`m trying to get my doctor to help me get medical transportation so I don`t have to go with her and they`re sending me to therapy over the constant abuse before it kills me. My sister hid my medical cards when I was trying to move to here and of course they ransacked my former room there again and got all my bank paperwork and important papers too so `m hoping my doctor has whatever information I need to get this done. I just want it to stop. She refused to give me the keys to my OWN CAMPER at first so they could snoop around here too and keep me from being able to lock it when I leave. And the title to my camper was "lost" by her the day I bought it.

  • @chautran2588
    @chautran2588 Рік тому

    They find faults with everyone and always puff up as a perfect person. They must be the most compassionate, the most suffering, the most generous, the most holy one, and so on. They have no friends for disliking people, but they can't stand being by themselves ever.

  • @lawrencefrank1480
    @lawrencefrank1480 8 місяців тому

    "TOTALLY" was just able to successfully receive a PFA against my Alcoholic covert NARC wife of 17 years. My teen children and myself are doing amazing after only 3months without the drama, chaos, confusion and hostility we normally have to navigate around. When we get home from work or school.

  • @atypical13thtwin15
    @atypical13thtwin15 Рік тому +6

    Future fake you!!! TOTALLY, and I was dumb enough to hang on...until I realize my future was gone and his was the only one that matter

  • @kerbsidemotors9249
    @kerbsidemotors9249 Рік тому +1

    It's like a western film set, authentic from the public side and nothing but emptyness behind.

  • @bethkephart8900
    @bethkephart8900 Рік тому

    Totally! Thank you so much for what you do! I've learned my dad was a narcissist and I watched him drain my mother and she died young at 63. It was incredibly painful to watch this dynamic. As an adult i am learning to stop repeating the pattern of an empath, becuase I must look attractive to narcissists! I think I've met more than I realized. Bless your heart ❤

  • @whereisyourhumanity7557
    @whereisyourhumanity7557 Рік тому +4

    oh...I do hate being wrong, and I can get kind of defensive when I'm wrong.

  • @baneverything5580
    @baneverything5580 Рік тому +10

    Yes, I can`t tell, but I just want them to leave me alone. My doctor is sending me to therapy over this. It has to end.

    • @Beantastrophe
      @Beantastrophe Рік тому +1

      🤖🤖🤡🤡

    • @pauletteberube3427
      @pauletteberube3427 Рік тому +3

      You have a good doctor because he or she referred you for support and help to deal with the trauma, drama and oftentimes abuse that these people cause and give. I hope that you get a therapist that understands. Interview them and ask them if they have ever known or worked with a narcissist and ask them to tell you what the diagnostic criteria are for this personality disorder and if they don't know, find one who does. Many therapists have been fooled themselves by these manipulative and highly skilled people. Hang in there.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +2

      You got this! Keep SLAYing!
      Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

    • @cassiebrown9786
      @cassiebrown9786 Рік тому +1

      Ban, you need to stay strong. Kudos to your doctor who noticed the signs of narcissistic abuse. I've dealt with many narcissist in my lifetime, but didn't realize who or what they were until I found videos on NPD. Good luck on your journey to healing. By the way, they prey on those, who they feel are weak. Get strong!

  • @LiberalManiacs
    @LiberalManiacs Рік тому

    We should start video recording these people and make compilations I cannot believe the behavior out of a person that I've known for 2 years now always knew he was batshit insane

  • @prettygirltingz8799
    @prettygirltingz8799 Рік тому +1

    Love her no BS attitude

  • @lovelybrown3217
    @lovelybrown3217 Рік тому +3

    If you ask them if they are happy.. they explode...

  • @dark7angel456
    @dark7angel456 Рік тому

    And I wouldn't understand why they would talk to me or look at me in ways that make me feel so down, or just neglect me and ignore me completely in life, I feel so invisible

  • @kittykat632
    @kittykat632 Рік тому +1

    I just wanted to say that Jesse needed the father to be whole. He said, I and the father are one

  • @alisonstone6143
    @alisonstone6143 Рік тому +5

    Can I get a transcript for this UA-cam.
    Excellent info

  • @rw20000
    @rw20000 Рік тому +5

    Want to hear something nuts ? My ex wife absolutely hated the fact that I was successful. Despite enjoying all the material benefits of that it always bothered her.

  • @derrickbarker6100
    @derrickbarker6100 Рік тому +5

    Totally and then a ton more. Started when drinking and I would get hit for looking at cheerleaders when watching football game. Embarrassing then it got bad and then it was when feet hit the floor daily 22 years later adored her to couldnt take it impossible.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +1

      Sorry to hear about what you've been through. Do you have a good support system in place?

    • @derrickbarker6100
      @derrickbarker6100 Рік тому

      ​@@RebeccaZungEsq I had one as this has been over years and me providing solutions but I blamed me or actually thought she would accompany me but know its went from couldnt be a night away for 15 years to irony about the time she started her secret is the time turned couch surfer turned ghost as she dropped all on me. I need an coaching appointment for me and attorney as they dont speak english to attorney or follow the law going for my retirement accrued 1981 -2000 married 7/8/200 and my grandmothers inherited home 3 generations she feels she deserves and you nailed it no cooperation, mediation, negotiations, disclosure of any truth and the consequences for perjury that I can prove she cant and nobody makes her? along with a psychiatrist familiar as mine didn't have anything close to these facts.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      @@derrickbarker6100 I see! Thank you so much for sharing. Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

  • @T4me69
    @T4me69 Рік тому +6

    Thank you so much for cleaning up and clearifying everything to help me seeing clearly. Your videos have helped me so much what to look for when the next person comes along. ❤

    • @Jackgritty28
      @Jackgritty28 Рік тому +1

      How you detect one,are there factors involved,if she explains it in this video.🚩❌🆘💲✔️

    • @T4me69
      @T4me69 Рік тому

      @@Jackgritty28 in the video it helps detect them by the signs to watch for, that’s how you’ll know.

    • @Jackgritty28
      @Jackgritty28 Рік тому

      @@T4me69 I already know that,fool✔️

    • @T4me69
      @T4me69 Рік тому

      @@Jackgritty28 no need for name calling

    • @Jackgritty28
      @Jackgritty28 Рік тому

      @@T4me69 No need for narcissist either✔️

  • @joshuamitchell4829
    @joshuamitchell4829 8 місяців тому

    I keep hearing get out.... walk away..... run..... don't look back... from what I'm learning, narcissism is picked up from childhood trauma. I don't want to live in a world where we turn our backs on someone with something that is not their fault. Idk maybe I'm too empathetic but I can't just turn my back on some one I care about.

    • @lilalabom6393
      @lilalabom6393 8 місяців тому

      Are you currently dealing with a narcissist?

    • @heather16816
      @heather16816 8 місяців тому

      I have been dealing with a narcissist for 21 years. I no longer enjoy any of the things I love like my art., singing, smiling... I ask God to take me home, I'm tired that's all I feel. So walk in my shoes for 21 years and see if you still feel the same way. I promise you that you won't.

  • @michaeljonas7604
    @michaeljonas7604 Рік тому

    Totally, I was with one for 14yrs, I only found out about narcissistic behavior after I was discarded,but when I look back she has most of Box's checked off,can't believe I stayed around for so long embarrassing 😳

  • @robertpadgett2072
    @robertpadgett2072 Рік тому

    Thank you so much! You truly are a guardian Angel. You’ve opened my eyes when I was on the verge of giving up on everything.

  • @neilroberts332
    @neilroberts332 Рік тому +6

    Totally

  • @mollysilverman6803
    @mollysilverman6803 11 місяців тому +1

    I need help. Please. I can’t do this anymore and my daughter doesn’t deserve this hell.
    Please?
    Thank you.

  • @kimberlyjager6074
    @kimberlyjager6074 Рік тому +8

    Thank you for your message. Every little bit helps me.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      You are so welcome! What is one point that you want to start using today? 😊

  • @joshuaanzalone2060
    @joshuaanzalone2060 Рік тому +5

    I sure wish she would get attention from another empath and not me.

  • @anitakolentus8899
    @anitakolentus8899 Рік тому +1

    I have several narcissists in my life.

  • @RustyInSeattle
    @RustyInSeattle Рік тому

    It’s when I’m treated as though I couldn’t possibly do anything right. Then they want me to spin the whole world in reverse. Then they positively shred everything I just attempted, and make me start all over from square one. Constant criticism because only they know best with some sort of OCD driven perfectionism.

  • @christinaackerman7734
    @christinaackerman7734 Рік тому +1

    Good Evening Rebecca♥️👍😊🍷
    Thank you so much

  • @babbyfacerevocation2740
    @babbyfacerevocation2740 8 місяців тому

    Thank you very much Rebecca I've learned so much from your videos. My sister is a malignant narcissistic monster 👹 she's obsessed with controlling every aspect of my life and my brother's as we'll. Thank you very much Happy Holidays 😊

  • @debhammersley6756
    @debhammersley6756 Рік тому +5

    Totally!

  • @mollybethmccain8284
    @mollybethmccain8284 Рік тому

    Yes, center of attention!! Very jealous when I get compliments , win all the family board games we play , and make them wait on a table at a restaurant - makes him crazy!!

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      This might help you better as well slay.rebeccazung.com/home

  • @godzillamanstreb524
    @godzillamanstreb524 Рік тому

    I had a female friendship for a long time…..I felt red flags, but we also enjoyed each other a lot…..1 straw that broke the camel’s back was she refused to change a toddler dirty diaper (she was babysitting) of friend who was at a job interview from out-of-town….’Im not doing that’….could’ve been a few hrs 😖

  • @conniedada2302
    @conniedada2302 Рік тому +7

    TOTALLY!!!!

  • @tedlogan4867
    @tedlogan4867 Рік тому

    I've seen it manifest in women in that they only care about what you do for them, how you treat them, how you show them affection, how you pay attention to them, they have endless boundaries, but never genuinely engage with what you want, what you need, whether or not they show you affection, and never respect or work within your boundaries. Everything is about them, but not necessarily that they act out in order to be the center of attention, it's that they simply have no capacity to see reality other than happening to them, or about them, or for them or against them.

  • @kingofaikido
    @kingofaikido 10 місяців тому +1

    "Totally!"

  • @court8420
    @court8420 Рік тому

    Finally!! I know a narc that is constantly comparing himself to whoever is around us. He doesn't have or feel value from inside. (Light bulb 💡 goes off) He has to get all his value from outside which is why he's constantly comparing himself to other people, people groups. Talking and walking through what he is or is not. Especially what he is not. The main problem for me with this is he does the same thing to me. He lumps me in with him. Sometimes comparing us to them. Saying "we". I find myself having to correct him often and pull myself out of his equation. So annoying!

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      This might help you better as well slay.rebeccazung.com/home

  • @MichNative01
    @MichNative01 Рік тому

    Totally. Going through this now, omg....its so hard, im exhausted all the time.

  • @brollylssj420
    @brollylssj420 Рік тому

    Totally!!
    Good work Rebecca. Narcissistic behavior is hell on earth.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      So true! So how can you starting slaying?

    • @brollylssj420
      @brollylssj420 Рік тому

      Well, I've been coping and contending with narcissistic abuse for many years, and have found careful documentation to be extremely beneficial in combating the narcissistic habit of gaslighting and their tendency of avoiding accountability. That's not quite the strategy I have chosen to employ, but I believe that's probably the best starting point for victims.

  • @joetrava3808
    @joetrava3808 Рік тому +1

    Totally. thanks for your help

  • @drummygaming36
    @drummygaming36 8 місяців тому

    This really helped me thank you.

  • @LadiesOfThePleiades
    @LadiesOfThePleiades Рік тому

    Totally. Except when I grey rock, it can start to feel like I’m being the narc. I hate this.

  • @rharia
    @rharia Рік тому +1

    Totally. I love this video because it’s so on point and works as a great check in. Thanks Rebecca!!!

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      I'm glad to be helping! What is one point that you want to start using today?

  • @tonyscardaci2089
    @tonyscardaci2089 Рік тому

    I have had so many of them in my life, that the Stats must be wrong. I mean, who seeks help for a problem they don’t think they have ? It was in the discovery of this condition that ended up freeing me to some degree, before I started internalizing a negative self image. It came to me in family as well as friends, the work you do is so important, more now than ever, in this phony baloney, instagram world. Very cute and fitting hairstyle, btw…

  • @jacquelineglitter4328
    @jacquelineglitter4328 Рік тому +3

    I have a parent who literally gets jealous when someone compliments me because of the way I'm dressed or the way I look. During the holidays they only send me bad pictures but my other family sends me good ones. This person doesn't believe in the Lord but wants to say the prayer before we eat during the holidays. Crazy hu?

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      That's sad to hear! Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

  • @LIK64
    @LIK64 Рік тому

    He can never be happy for me if something good would come my way, he would try to take the credit some how

  • @sherryhropko9121
    @sherryhropko9121 Рік тому

    Totally play the victim , can’t take constructive
    Criticism ,
    envious . 2-13-23

  • @mercurialgirl
    @mercurialgirl Рік тому

    Totally….. my signature move when I detect narcy reindeer games is apparently called grey rock, but in the 90s it didn’t have a name yet.

  • @charliegrant6327
    @charliegrant6327 Рік тому

    Looks like you bunch together ALL badness in to one and completely reflect it on to this monstrous person . So this relieves you of any guilt

  • @annav61
    @annav61 10 місяців тому

    My ex was a covert one and he was opposite he was overly confident and he like he said the only one person on this planet earth is right and decent 😅

  • @matthewwozniak9138
    @matthewwozniak9138 8 місяців тому

    Always trust your intuition and your cat.

  • @jgcigar
    @jgcigar 11 місяців тому

    Thank you Rebecca, you provide a service very much in demand. Totally