When I left my Narc after 18 years I literally watched his power ebb away and what was left was a desperate, weak man who had aged 10 years. If I knew how weak he was I would of fought harder, earlier because he put me through 10 months of hell before we sold our home and I got out. I have learned a big lesson and I will never get into that situation again.
42 years for me...2 years awake...but unable to leave...because of physical damage...emotional damage...spiritual damage and financial damage...crushed... praying for deliverance for me & her
40 too. Neglectful narc. Never grasped the narc bc his behavior was so off. Only 1 year awake. Makes me feel so stupid. Now I know why he married me. I kept asking but no answer.
You just described my soon to be nex to a T, except the working. He has not worked a day since we got married 5 years ago. He trapped me in a mortgage or I would have left several years ago before I knew what he was. It is sickening the love bombing and then completely withholding all love, affection, sex. He changed immediately after we got married because I started asking questions and expressing my needs and the passive-aggressive behavior, manipulating, gaslighting, etc., began. He is like a zombie on the couch most days on his phone non-stop. I think he forced me into a reverse discard because he always wants to play the victim and I was not willing to be his doormat. I am sure he already has someone waiting in the wings.
@@bradmcewen Right? Someone asked if I would be upset if I saw her with another person (I have no idea if she is, complete block and no contact since divorce) and I just said I’d feel sad. Not for me but for the guy who has no idea what’s coming.
After being in relationship with a true dark triad, (real life horror movie).... recognising a more subtle type of narc was harder at first, as my previous experience was so exreme. But that had made me hypervigilant, so i was fast onto the early signs, once i got into relationship and deeper than the mask of perfection of this neglect covert... I feel definitely dodged a bullet . Thank you for your wonderful video. You nailed it!
Wow, described my narc to a T. I struggle that I lived it for so long. I hate that I didn't have any self worth and allowed that abuse. I am embarrassed..so hurt, betrayed. I wonder how many of his family members knew what and who he truly is. Thank you Kat for another excellent video.💕
Are, they all made in the same factory, or all got kicked in the head by same mule, because you just described my x to a T , jeeeesus I got chills, bless you and yours, good lady😇🙏❤
Almost 30 minutes of keen accuracy. I think the time it takes explaining our experiencs is directly equal to whatever amount of time we spent with them. Figure out why it took so long and that it's your narc vaccination. Sure different strains are out there, but toxic narc spew has a base of conduct you cant miss anymore.
so much in this is so true. i couldn't put my finger on what was wrong with my marriage. it took me awhile to see that all the collective slights had made me feel so lonely. my ex was never raging. it was just years of neglecting me and me not figuring out that i didn't really matter to him. when I wanted to enforce boundaries on how I wanted to be treated, he could not deliver, even on the most simplest request.
I'm sooooo grateful to have found you in UA-cam! Thank you! 9 years with a neglectful narcissist. Then discarded what felt out of nowhere and totally ghosted. Its all been so confusing and your videos help so much with clarity! Thank you so much for this bc I needed clarity and understanding.
This finally hits the nail on the head with my ex covert narcissist! I've watched hundreds and hundreds of videos, but none was that accurate! Yeah, NO rage (though gets violent from one sec to another) and everything else up until 6 minutes in the video! Can't wait to hear it all! Edit: YESSS - most accurate video I've ever watched. Thank you ‼️😊
I've watched this several times over the last year. It describes my ex to a tee. The worst part is actually how it has affected my kids. They are adults now, but put their dad on a pedestal. I always end up being the bad one. It is maddening. I have tried to never say a negative word about him but he conditioned them from childhood to see him as the one who needs them. I left him and he made sure the kids have never forgotten that. He doesn't say anything outloud, he just creates a facade so that the kids feel sorry for him. He also enables them in a way that makes him look like a hero. He is so covert that nobody else sees how he abu*** through neglect. When we were married it was usually like being married to a mirage. I was nothing more than the robot that did all the work while he went out into the world to get his supply. Even after 25 years it still affects me because my adult children protect him like I'm the evil villain that hurt him. It is sad that they don't see the truth, but they have to learn that on their own.
After researching narcissism for years, this video is more accurate describing my husband than any other. My narc is the charmer, no one knows he’s a narc, not even my grown kids. If I leave him, I’m afraid I’ll lose my kids. They think he’s golden. I’m struggling.
Your presentation is information dense. I think both of my parents are/were on the NARC spectrum to a large degree. Emotional neglect is what I suffered from (CPTSD) in my childhood. I just subscribed to your channel today, so thankful to have found you!
I have two relatives that are exactly this way. So many signs, that I have witnessed and suffered through ( for lack of better words) for years (my whole life). And, they don't change, it actually had gotten substantially worse, particulaly with the one relative who is a senior. She takes things of mine, cut up my evening dress for a graduation, helps herself to stuff that is not hers. Destroys my things. If there is something that another person needs, or prefers, she actually goes out of her way to do something to obstruct that person's ability to have that need met. She has always been like that. Rages that are scary, and always out of nowhere. Doesn't get upset at all when someone dies. And many other odd things. I heard that narcs do grieve, and I am sure they do usually, but, she did not when my grandfather died. I won't get into what happened before that, but that was when I really realised that the coldness was more than what I had thought. My grandfather was more like a father to me than my Dad even though he had some issues, he meant well. But yeah, she also lies a lot, once in a while gaslights. If I addressed an issue or concern I had, she would say I was imagining things. She also gets extremely offended easily, even when I did not say anything to her that I would think may offend her, or anyone else. She also has done things like, when I politely asked if she could use the other counter, to put the plate of raw hamburger on instead, so that my baby's food wouldn't potentially come in contact with the raw meat, she blew up in a rage, and threatened me over it. Literally. As if I had no right. And then over the next few weeks she made a point of always putting raw meat right where she knew I would be feeding my daughter. Sorry for the long post, but I am just trying to say that these things with these people are all too real. Most of the time, she is quiet, so most people would never guess that she is so aggressive. Thanks for the video. Sorry about rambling.
It took me 20 years and almost dying of the emotional and physical damage (fibromyalgia, CFS) to understand what he was. They often get diagnosed as being autistic. Like he was. I thought it was me but found out I am codependant and cptsd which also made me and sometimes rageful. perfectionist. He was very passive agressive, neglectful, gaslighting, lying, stealing. And I learned him so much which he used to project an image to other people. He didn't feel superior though...I think 🤔😁
Once again, coach Kat you are on point!! If you want to get straight to the point about narcissist, listen to Coach Kat with this knowledge!!! I kid you not, keep these videos on repeat like your taking a test, eventually you will come to terms of the reality and you will leave the fantasy!!!
I married one of these neglectful narcisstic people. He lives in NYC, and I live in rural Florida. He bought a house in the city nearby when our son was about 2 so.8 years ago. He triangulate that house away from the home O was living in as more important while he had every intention of going back to NYC. It gave him so much ammunition to say I didn't support the fixer upper house while I did everything in the domestic scene. Fast forward 8 years and he has only been able to rent it to those that won't pay rent. This last eviction I was tje one to meet with police after a lengthy eviction. When he comes down to Florida it's from a Sunday to a Friday. No mention of seeing his son. So my dentist appointment was on that Thursday. This neglectful narcisstic person expected me to cancel it. Saying he was.more important??! I didn't. He blame me for not trying to see him and bring our son while he never is there f9r his son. Whatever he does in NYC isn't paying the bills. Except I'm supposed to do everything domestic wise. There is a screw loose in these people and only healing will happen when you go no contact. They are incapable of intimacy and empathy. They enjoy taking you down so they can play victim with new supply off your bones.
Incredibly accurate, was married to a narc for 25 years before the betrayal and the terrible discard, he was a covert, hard to detect but our instincts are telling us the whole time, we ignore the signs because we don’t want to believe a person could do this to us or the family. The sooner we wake up and accept what has happened the better. We can then live our authentic life and hopefully find a good person with the same values. God bless you all, it takes time and a lot of tears but you will eventually get past this a stronger wiser person. ❤
My narc absolutely took advantage of my mental state, toxic family situation and attachment issues to complete destroy my heart and mind. I don't know how to be okay again...sad still, I miss him. Love bombing when you're insecure is a hell of attack strategy. He got all he wanted from the relationship tho.. Very opportunistic... So good for him I guess
I am an empath, i grew up with a narc parent. But after 3 years of healing my childhood cptsd journey that actually really started with me asserting good boundaries i am an empath but with boundaries. an empath connected to my inner child, who is commited to speaking up and protesting unfair behaviour , or asking for clarification if neccesary using good communication, and learning i can advocate for my needs and connect with emotionally available people that also have empathy. I can now after 3 years in healing my cptsd from childhood because I had a narc parent. And suffering a smear campaign last year so almost a year studying and watching videos about narc abuse, because ive needed to integrate it to my healing, because after suffering a smear campaign a person needs validation , needs also to know how to navigate flying monkeys, and understand reactive abuse, while keeping healthy boundaries ofcourse. I can pick up on the narcs/ inauthentic energy fairly quick. It matches their behaviour, their entitlements etc. This is what one of the goals of recovery is. To become empaths with good boundaries that are aware about narc abuse, that have healed their childhood stuff, that are assertive that can see redflags fast, and that can choose emotionally available empathic people to connect with. That say no to abusive people out of self-respect and selfcare. The more empaths who have done their healing work and have good boundaries, the better. Narcs will have less people to abuse, as the information and awareness of narc abuse keeps spreading out there. They have less people to conn- they are forced that way to start taking responsibility, for their destructive abusive personality disorder, or not, if they dont want to. Atleast as empaths with boundaries and healing work done, healthy levels of self-worth we know now these people have nothing to give but abuse, and inauthentic false self, con artistry! ha
He gave me a lot things and spent money on because I have disabilities. But he never brought me flowers. He never loved me he loved to control me or as he put it train me . He gaslighted me to an entire group of writers. Only because I spoke up and introduced my self as his lover to female he was trying to get money out of for his phoney charity’s.
TY. This video both informed and validated me. Hmmm. Not the most effusive response but only because I'm quite literally stunned by how accurately you described my ex. Words fail...just TY. 💛
It’s as if you were literally describing my ex-husband and the way he parented our two boys. And the way you describe these empty shell humans without a soul that was exactly how he was raised praised for all of his accomplishments but ignored as a person by parents. of course I find this incredibly sad but I just could no longer pay the price for his bad childhood. Yes he was 98% what you described here he was not a malignant narcissist. However he did not cheat but however again I suspect he was also in the closet and there was some highly suspicious activity with gay friends that he would refer to as his ‘mentors’. really you have to hang out with your mentors till midnight drinking beer huh. and he had a lot of effeminate qualities obsessed with fancy clothes. you even nailed the part where they triangulate with the new supply boy oh boy has he triangulated me with his next victim who is a total downgrade from me
Well this sums up the two year horror show with my she-devil covert. It's an insane process to go through and sure leaves a scar even in us most hardy and empathetic types. Sigh.
This is exactly, exactly like my Grandmother. She does most of this, and is very cold and typically there are subtle behaviors that tell me things are going to get bad. She does go into a rage rarely, not too rare though, and when she does, they are very violent, even though she doesn't get physical. But most of her aggression is more passive aggressive and very predictable for the most part, because she doesn't change. She had been like this since I was a little girl. And she is known for the fact that money is her bottom line, as one person described it.
Sounds exactly like OCPD. I would love to hear a video on neglectful narcissism with the addition of OCPD. I thought it was this 100% until I learned of the other. The two together, from what I understand, is common and makes things all the more clear.
@@climboutoftraumawithcoachk8245 I don’t believe cheating is (that’s where the narcissism comes in), but gaslighting, yes. From what I understand, OCPD is often comorbid with other personality disorders.
I wish we would stop it with codependency stuff. Humans are codependent. Relationships are codependent. Otherwise why would relationships require trust. Narcissists are the most codependent, actually dependant ppl. Taking care of someone else's emotions is not a character flaw as narcissists believe. We live in the narcissistic society, and narcissists believe that's a flaw. It's not a flaw, it's a strength and they do know it. Oh the know it and they actually wish they had it. I know this bec the narcs I know (I'm borderline, which since being diagnosed flipped my whole world upside down, but narcs I know see this vulnerability, well makes them feel inferior. They say vulnerability is weakness which is why they won't ever admit to an addictions or stuff like that but emotional vulnerable they see as a strength...truth!!) So anyway don't let them put a label on your emotional vulnerability as being a codependency flaw, that's them wanting to take that away from u. Please please hold on to that.
Vulnerability and authenticity are wonderful. The lack of boundaries often present in Codependency can make folks susceptible to predators. Check out Dr. Ross Rosenberg 🙂
I believe mine is covert. In his case his family of origin are his friends, supply and drinking buddies. 6 sibs who all gather around mama regularly. Mine hands or at his moms house daily. She supplies the alcohol. Very hurtful.
All those issues you are talking about PTSD. autoimmune disease aniexty all those I already suffered from before he got with me . He made all that worse !
This is so dead on to the relationship I got of I mean dead on she did everything a covert did and she has Done nothing butbtry and make me out to be her and I had a child with this life sucking leach and idk what to do she uses social media to make stuff up and a most to.e I didn't even no
Watch for them mirroring you during love bombing. Your morals will become their morals, and they will seemingly instantly have much stronger morals than you, concerning what ever it is they are mirroring about you. For example, years ago when I got with my covert narc... (we were both young and used curse words) one day I told her I really didn't like people using God's name in vain. I explained I didn't mind other curse words, but I didn't like that. And like over night she began on this high moral ground to tell family and friends not to use God's name in vain in our house or around her. She was very emphatic about it and it was like all this was something that was just coming from her alone. I didn't know what to make of it... however I didn't want people to use God's name in vain in my home... so I was good with it at the time. However I had no clue about narcissism. The rest is history... 29 years of marriage. She had two affairs while we were married. However during the time she acted like she was trying to work things out with me. She kept telling me I was her best friend. After she got one guy to divorce his wife she then text me; she said she didn't want to to be shocked she filed for divorce then after that she acted like we were the very worst of enemies. Watch for them mirroring you at the first of the relationship. They will be just perfect in every way and more perfect than you. However they will be the one's setting the boundaries within your relationship. They will be the unquestionable leader of everything important. The goal of the narc is to get you addicted to how very perfect they are for you, and to then control you
Can an empath be raised by a narc and have Narcissistic tendencies as an adult? I’m watching this and am confused because I can identify some of these narc traits in my husband and myself - but i have thought they were the consequence of narc parenting and are maladaptive trauma coping responses. ?
Definitely the love bombing at the beginning felt incredible. A huge red flag in future now, thank you.
Never rage in my situation but yes indeed on passive aggressive. (Insults included)
The neglectful covert narc rarely love bombs .. this is one of the differences between just a covert or vulnerable vs the neglectful covert narc .
So true. Just because of rarely love bombs, which makes him trustworthy and other people won’t be easily aware of this type of evil.
@@sunnywu7205 I don’t buy it that these people are all necessarily evil… They might perhaps just be totally self unaware and android-like.
Best explanation of a covert that I've ever heard. Spot on!
When I left my Narc after 18 years I literally watched his power ebb away and what was left was a desperate, weak man who had aged 10 years. If I knew how weak he was I would of fought harder, earlier because he put me through 10 months of hell before we sold our home and I got out. I have learned a big lesson and I will never get into that situation again.
This is so on point, it’s scary!! 🎯🎯🎯
💯💯💯 i am married to a covert narc for 40yrs. Just getting worse. I need to leave but it is so difficult.
42 years for me...2 years awake...but unable to leave...because of physical damage...emotional damage...spiritual damage and financial damage...crushed... praying for deliverance for me & her
40 too. Neglectful narc. Never grasped the narc bc his behavior was so off. Only 1 year awake. Makes me feel so stupid. Now I know why he married me. I kept asking but no answer.
Are you ok!!!!
I call it "the drop from a great height phase"
You just described my soon to be nex to a T, except the working. He has not worked a day since we got married 5 years ago. He trapped me in a mortgage or I would have left several years ago before I knew what he was. It is sickening the love bombing and then completely withholding all love, affection, sex. He changed immediately after we got married because I started asking questions and expressing my needs and the passive-aggressive behavior, manipulating, gaslighting, etc., began. He is like a zombie on the couch most days on his phone non-stop. I think he forced me into a reverse discard because he always wants to play the victim and I was not willing to be his doormat. I am sure he already has someone waiting in the wings.
I just want to know how you managed to sneak into my old house and document my ex wife’s behavior..
Lmao ! Better luck to the next dude. And next. And next...
@@bradmcewen Right? Someone asked if I would be upset if I saw her with another person (I have no idea if she is, complete block and no contact since divorce) and I just said I’d feel sad. Not for me but for the guy who has no idea what’s coming.
You're the one who's truly blessed 🙌 I told my ex-husband that I'm blessed because I was no longer on the receiving side of his denigrating and stuff
Lololol
Lol
After being in relationship with a true dark triad, (real life horror movie).... recognising a more subtle type of narc was harder at first, as my previous experience was so exreme.
But that had made me hypervigilant, so i was fast onto the early signs, once i got into relationship and deeper than the mask of perfection of this neglect covert... I feel definitely dodged a bullet .
Thank you for your wonderful video.
You nailed it!
Wow, described my narc to a T.
I struggle that I lived it for so long. I hate that I didn't have any self worth and allowed that abuse. I am embarrassed..so hurt, betrayed. I wonder how many of his family members knew what and who he truly is. Thank you Kat for another excellent video.💕
Are, they all made in the same factory, or all got kicked in the head by same mule, because you just described my x to a T , jeeeesus I got chills, bless you and yours, good lady😇🙏❤
Almost 30 minutes of keen accuracy. I think the time it takes explaining our experiencs is directly equal to whatever amount of time we spent with them. Figure out why it took so long and that it's your narc vaccination. Sure different strains are out there, but toxic narc spew has a base of conduct you cant miss anymore.
so much in this is so true. i couldn't put my finger on what was wrong with my marriage. it took me awhile to see that all the collective slights had made me feel so lonely. my ex was never raging. it was just years of neglecting me and me not figuring out that i didn't really matter to him. when I wanted to enforce boundaries on how I wanted to be treated, he could not deliver, even on the most simplest request.
I'm sooooo grateful to have found you in UA-cam! Thank you!
9 years with a neglectful narcissist.
Then discarded what felt out of nowhere and totally ghosted. Its all been so confusing and your videos help so much with clarity! Thank you so much for this bc I needed clarity and understanding.
This finally hits the nail on the head with my ex covert narcissist! I've watched hundreds and hundreds of videos, but none was that accurate! Yeah, NO rage (though gets violent from one sec to another) and everything else up until 6 minutes in the video! Can't wait to hear it all!
Edit: YESSS - most accurate video I've ever watched. Thank you ‼️😊
Wow, great work! THX! Coverts also pretend to be Co-dependents!!!
Very good video. A lot of really good information, and you described the narcissist I experienced perfectly. Blech 🤮 It’s crazy. Thank you.
I've watched this several times over the last year. It describes my ex to a tee. The worst part is actually how it has affected my kids. They are adults now, but put their dad on a pedestal. I always end up being the bad one. It is maddening. I have tried to never say a negative word about him but he conditioned them from childhood to see him as the one who needs them. I left him and he made sure the kids have never forgotten that. He doesn't say anything outloud, he just creates a facade so that the kids feel sorry for him. He also enables them in a way that makes him look like a hero. He is so covert that nobody else sees how he abu*** through neglect. When we were married it was usually like being married to a mirage. I was nothing more than the robot that did all the work while he went out into the world to get his supply. Even after 25 years it still affects me because my adult children protect him like I'm the evil villain that hurt him. It is sad that they don't see the truth, but they have to learn that on their own.
After researching narcissism for years, this video is more accurate describing my husband than any other. My narc is the charmer, no one knows he’s a narc, not even my grown kids. If I leave him, I’m afraid I’ll lose my kids. They think he’s golden. I’m struggling.
Your presentation is information dense. I think both of my parents are/were on the NARC spectrum to a large degree. Emotional neglect is what I suffered from (CPTSD) in my childhood. I just subscribed to your channel today, so thankful to have found you!
“My precious” 😂😂😂 great video
Great to see you lovely. Fear of man proves to be a snare.
This hit so many nails on the head we could have built a bookcase 😂
I have two relatives that are exactly this way. So many signs, that I have witnessed and suffered through ( for lack of better words) for years (my whole life). And, they don't change, it actually had gotten substantially worse, particulaly with the one relative who is a senior. She takes things of mine, cut up my evening dress for a graduation, helps herself to stuff that is not hers. Destroys my things. If there is something that another person needs, or prefers, she actually goes out of her way to do something to obstruct that person's ability to have that need met. She has always been like that. Rages that are scary, and always out of nowhere. Doesn't get upset at all when someone dies. And many other odd things. I heard that narcs do grieve, and I am sure they do usually, but, she did not when my grandfather died. I won't get into what happened before that, but that was when I really realised that the coldness was more than what I had thought. My grandfather was more like a father to me than my Dad even though he had some issues, he meant well. But yeah, she also lies a lot, once in a while gaslights. If I addressed an issue or concern I had, she would say I was imagining things. She also gets extremely offended easily, even when I did not say anything to her that I would think may offend her, or anyone else. She also has done things like, when I politely asked if she could use the other counter, to put the plate of raw hamburger on instead, so that my baby's food wouldn't potentially come in contact with the raw meat, she blew up in a rage, and threatened me over it. Literally. As if I had no right. And then over the next few weeks she made a point of always putting raw meat right where she knew I would be feeding my daughter. Sorry for the long post, but I am just trying to say that these things with these people are all too real. Most of the time, she is quiet, so most people would never guess that she is so aggressive. Thanks for the video. Sorry about rambling.
It took me 20 years and almost dying of the emotional and physical damage (fibromyalgia, CFS) to understand what he was. They often get diagnosed as being autistic. Like he was.
I thought it was me but found out I am codependant and cptsd which also made me and sometimes rageful. perfectionist.
He was very passive agressive, neglectful, gaslighting, lying, stealing.
And I learned him so much which he used to project an image to other people.
He didn't feel superior though...I think 🤔😁
Once again, coach Kat you are on point!! If you want to get straight to the point about narcissist, listen to Coach Kat with this knowledge!!! I kid you not, keep these videos on repeat like your taking a test, eventually you will come to terms of the reality and you will leave the fantasy!!!
I married one of these neglectful narcisstic people. He lives in NYC, and I live in rural Florida. He bought a house in the city nearby when our son was about 2 so.8 years ago. He triangulate that house away from the home O was living in as more important while he had every intention of going back to NYC. It gave him so much ammunition to say I didn't support the fixer upper house while I did everything in the domestic scene. Fast forward 8 years and he has only been able to rent it to those that won't pay rent. This last eviction I was tje one to meet with police after a lengthy eviction. When he comes down to Florida it's from a Sunday to a Friday. No mention of seeing his son. So my dentist appointment was on that Thursday. This neglectful narcisstic person expected me to cancel it. Saying he was.more important??! I didn't. He blame me for not trying to see him and bring our son while he never is there f9r his son. Whatever he does in NYC isn't paying the bills. Except I'm supposed to do everything domestic wise. There is a screw loose in these people and only healing will happen when you go no contact. They are incapable of intimacy and empathy. They enjoy taking you down so they can play victim with new supply off your bones.
Incredibly accurate, was married to a narc for 25 years before the betrayal and the terrible discard, he was a covert, hard to detect but our instincts are telling us the whole time, we ignore the signs because we don’t want to believe a person could do this to us or the family. The sooner we wake up and accept what has happened the better. We can then live our authentic life and hopefully find a good person with the same values. God bless you all, it takes time and a lot of tears but you will eventually get past this a stronger wiser person. ❤
My narc absolutely took advantage of my mental state, toxic family situation and attachment issues to complete destroy my heart and mind. I don't know how to be okay again...sad still, I miss him. Love bombing when you're insecure is a hell of attack strategy. He got all he wanted from the relationship tho.. Very opportunistic... So good for him I guess
I am an empath, i grew up with a narc parent. But after 3 years of healing my childhood cptsd journey that actually really started with me asserting good boundaries i am an empath but with boundaries. an empath connected to my inner child, who is commited to speaking up and protesting unfair behaviour , or asking for clarification if neccesary using good communication, and learning i can advocate for my needs and connect with emotionally available people that also have empathy. I can now after 3 years in healing my cptsd from childhood because I had a narc parent. And suffering a smear campaign last year so almost a year studying and watching videos about narc abuse, because ive needed to integrate it to my healing, because after suffering a smear campaign a person needs validation , needs also to know how to navigate flying monkeys, and understand reactive abuse, while keeping healthy boundaries ofcourse. I can pick up on the narcs/ inauthentic energy fairly quick. It matches their behaviour, their entitlements etc. This is what one of the goals of recovery is. To become empaths with good boundaries that are aware about narc abuse, that have healed their childhood stuff, that are assertive that can see redflags fast, and that can choose emotionally available empathic people to connect with. That say no to abusive people out of self-respect and selfcare. The more empaths who have done their healing work and have good boundaries, the better. Narcs will have less people to abuse, as the information and awareness of narc abuse keeps spreading out there. They have less people to conn- they are forced that way to start taking responsibility, for their destructive abusive personality disorder, or not, if they dont want to. Atleast as empaths with boundaries and healing work done, healthy levels of self-worth we know now these people have nothing to give but abuse, and inauthentic false self, con artistry! ha
This is GREAT, GREAT knowledge
He gave me a lot things and spent money on because I have disabilities. But he never brought me flowers. He never loved me he loved to control me or as he put it train me . He gaslighted me to an entire group of writers. Only because I spoke up and introduced my self as his lover to female he was trying to get money out of for his phoney charity’s.
TY. This video both informed and validated me. Hmmm. Not the most effusive response but only because I'm quite literally stunned by how accurately you described my ex. Words fail...just TY. 💛
You are so spot on
I love love love you , you make everything all right again , everything you say in all your videos ring so true to me , Thank you ❤️
It’s as if you were literally describing my ex-husband and the way he parented our two boys. And the way you describe these empty shell humans without a soul that was exactly how he was raised praised for all of his accomplishments but ignored as a person by parents. of course I find this incredibly sad but I just could no longer pay the price for his bad childhood. Yes he was 98% what you described here he was not a malignant narcissist. However he did not cheat but however again I suspect he was also in the closet and there was some highly suspicious activity with gay friends that he would refer to as his ‘mentors’. really you have to hang out with your mentors till midnight drinking beer huh. and he had a lot of effeminate qualities obsessed with fancy clothes. you even nailed the part where they triangulate with the new supply boy oh boy has he triangulated me with his next victim who is a total downgrade from me
My ex bf to a tee! He was just all of this and I knew he was “off” just felt it and glad I stuck no contact out
Well this sums up the two year horror show with my she-devil covert. It's an insane process to go through and sure leaves a scar even in us most hardy and empathetic types. Sigh.
Every narcissist survivor are angels from God to fight evils
This is exactly, exactly like my Grandmother. She does most of this, and is very cold and typically there are subtle behaviors that tell me things are going to get bad.
She does go into a rage rarely, not too rare though, and when she does, they are very violent, even though she doesn't get physical. But most of her aggression is more passive aggressive and very predictable for the most part, because she doesn't change. She had been like this since I was a little girl. And she is known for the fact that money is her bottom line, as one person described it.
You are so awesome! I love learning from you... Thank you for sharing you with us... Brilliant & Beautiful.
This is my ex to a T 🙈
Lol 😆 True!!!
Great vid as always! thank you....
This is so astonishingly accurate its made my blood run cold listening to it. Its my ex.
Victim oh my God!
I felt like investing in chalk so she could draw out lines of herself everywhere.
Accurately describes my soon to be ex.
Sounds exactly like OCPD. I would love to hear a video on neglectful narcissism with the addition of OCPD. I thought it was this 100% until I learned of the other. The two together, from what I understand, is common and makes things all the more clear.
I wonder if cheating and gaslighting are symptoms of OCPD?
@@climboutoftraumawithcoachk8245 I don’t believe cheating is (that’s where the narcissism comes in), but gaslighting, yes. From what I understand, OCPD is often comorbid with other personality disorders.
Different from mirroring and connections is connections stay forever. Mirroring is a false integrity.
SO TRUE!!!
They are so dam sensitive
This is great information. It's good to know what ur dealing with. This is mine.
My ex husband the narcissist, liked polygamy marriages! Secret relationship.
I wish we would stop it with codependency stuff. Humans are codependent. Relationships are codependent. Otherwise why would relationships require trust. Narcissists are the most codependent, actually dependant ppl. Taking care of someone else's emotions is not a character flaw as narcissists believe. We live in the narcissistic society, and narcissists believe that's a flaw. It's not a flaw, it's a strength and they do know it. Oh the know it and they actually wish they had it. I know this bec the narcs I know (I'm borderline, which since being diagnosed flipped my whole world upside down, but narcs I know see this vulnerability, well makes them feel inferior. They say vulnerability is weakness which is why they won't ever admit to an addictions or stuff like that but emotional vulnerable they see as a strength...truth!!) So anyway don't let them put a label on your emotional vulnerability as being a codependency flaw, that's them wanting to take that away from u. Please please hold on to that.
Vulnerability and authenticity are wonderful. The lack of boundaries often present in Codependency can make folks susceptible to predators. Check out Dr. Ross Rosenberg 🙂
Both r healthy...until its not... (1 or 2 ok)( 3 getting wierd)( 4,5 bad) based on scale 1- 5
My Female Covert doesn't fit all of this. Most of it is spot on, though.
I believe mine is covert. In his case his family of origin are his friends, supply and drinking buddies. 6 sibs who all gather around mama regularly. Mine hands or at his moms house daily. She supplies the alcohol. Very hurtful.
Yip, the only emotion that counts is theirs if the show any. Rage and passive aggressive.
All those issues you are talking about PTSD. autoimmune disease aniexty all those I already suffered from before he got with me . He made all that worse !
You described my family
Do you know them?
Great video❤️❤️❤️
This is so dead on to the relationship I got of I mean dead on she did everything a covert did and she has Done nothing butbtry and make me out to be her and I had a child with this life sucking leach and idk what to do she uses social media to make stuff up and a most to.e I didn't even no
Thank you.
Is there always a disguard in every relationship?
Is there a free suppprt group for survivors of Narc abuse of such kind.....
I know better now because I now know what to look out for. But honestly, reasoning during the love bombing is usually difficult.
Watch for them mirroring you during love bombing. Your morals will become their morals, and they will seemingly instantly have much stronger morals than you, concerning what ever it is they are mirroring about you.
For example, years ago when I got with my covert narc... (we were both young and used curse words) one day I told her I really didn't like people using God's name in vain. I explained I didn't mind other curse words, but I didn't like that. And like over night she began on this high moral ground to tell family and friends not to use God's name in vain in our house or around her. She was very emphatic about it and it was like all this was something that was just coming from her alone.
I didn't know what to make of it... however I didn't want people to use God's name in vain in my home... so I was good with it at the time. However I had no clue about narcissism.
The rest is history... 29 years of marriage. She had two affairs while we were married. However during the time she acted like she was trying to work things out with me. She kept telling me I was her best friend.
After she got one guy to divorce his wife she then text me; she said she didn't want to to be shocked she filed for divorce then after that she acted like we were the very worst of enemies.
Watch for them mirroring you at the first of the relationship. They will be just perfect in every way and more perfect than you. However they will be the one's setting the boundaries within your relationship. They will be the unquestionable leader of everything important.
The goal of the narc is to get you addicted to how very perfect they are for you, and to then control you
Can an empath be raised by a narc and have Narcissistic tendencies as an adult? I’m watching this and am confused because I can identify some of these narc traits in my husband and myself - but i have thought they were the consequence of narc parenting and are maladaptive trauma coping responses. ?
If you are a Christian, listen to The Holy Spirit.
He’s never failed me indeed. god bless you
@@gn2665 And you ❣️
Very nice intro💗
Wow 💯💯💯
I see you’ve met my ex wife. Lol! And since she’s my ex then it means I won.
Seems like you know my mother....
How does she know my ex??
Can someone present some or almost all of this behaviours and not be a narcissist?
It’s definitely a spectrum but if the behaviors are there then sometimes the simplest explanation is the most truthful
Ummmhummm