Alternatives To The No Contact Rule
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- Опубліковано 16 лют 2020
- In this video, relationship expert Coach Lee shares alternatives to the No Contact Rule that you can use to get your back in certain situations.
Get more information on Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at myexbackcoach.com/emergency-b...
Get more information on Coach Lee's Emergency Marriage Kit at myexbackcoach.com/emergency-m...
Videos Mentioned In This One:
The Strategic Contact Rule VS The No Contact Rule: • Strategic Contact VS N...
What Is My Ex Thinking During No Contact? • What Is My Ex Thinking...
Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact: • Stages Ex Goes Through...
No Contact With Children Together: • No Contact With Kids T...
SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's Channel for more videos like this with this link: ua-cam.com/users/myexbackcoach?ap...
The main thing to remember is that we cannot read their minds. We may be feeling like it is hopeless and that they are extremely happy, whilst in reality they may be minutes away from breaking and reaching out
Coach Lee,how to contact you?
Xavi Mace thanks for the encouragement man
me and my ex was having a conversation then he goes last summer was terrible because last summer we were broken up he was engaged and living with someone else while I was crying my heart out it goes to show you things can be different from what you see on the outside
True
Xavi Mace so wise
NO CONTACT IS THE BEST... IT GIVE US OUR DIGNITY BACK AND GIVES THE OTHER PERSON TIME TO VALUE US.
@@stealthassulter very much needed in some situations , also let her come to you that's even better revenge
@@WHaAteVaA Thank you. I will let her come. I will make it difficult as possible to return. Honestly, I don't even know how I can look at her face anymore after things I have heard she has done.
If she does somehow meet me using our friend circle, I will behave as if nothing happened at all.
I will keep a distance and I will leave as soon as possible so she knows I am going away and it will never be easy for her ever again.
if she speaks to me or tries to bring it up..
I will make it clear that I projected certain values that are not based on reality and its non of my business on what she does or does not.
I just didn't want to accept it that she was telling me about the guy she was banging and telling me about it. when she knows dam well I dont like that. especially acting like she dint want to do it with a guy .... which in fact she did like it alot and kept doing it while in no contact. even yesterday she fucked the same guy.
She should not do that if she knows I dont like sharing with random men. I just feel disgusted. and thats that but now I am clear with it .. but its no longer an issue for me. As she is nothing more than a cum bucket for the general public.
Can’t wait to reject her
@B K good job. Well you atleast have somewhat of an option. My person fucked around alot. So I can't even take it back. So disgusting.
B K facts.they have the guts to leave you so better not turn around cuz I’m not there
Just let no contact do it’s work. If your ex loved you enough they will reach out. If not, then why would you want someone that doesn’t love you ?
if they loved you they shouldnt left you first
Azazel I don’t think that’s always the case. Sometimes love isn’t enough to make a relationship work
@@azazel3944 then they were never meant to be
If they love you they don’t get you mad
@shav12 some of us have kids with them. No contact is not even an option.
So many heartbroken people. At least we are not alone :) Stay strong guys
It's so sad isn't it. Xx
Thank you hope your doing good
i am the same boat
@@deshawn1801 1
Oh, shit... it's denton!
At first, I thought no contact was counter-intuitive. I'm glad that I didn't break it. No contact has benefits for the person who's hurt. Don't bother with alternatives, just stay in no contact. I'm over a month in and I feel like I have a lot more control over my life, and I feel happier. I'm focused on helping other people, rather than wallowing in the loss of my ex. It may sound like bullshit, but you will develop self-respect quickly if you maintain no contact. You must find things to keep yourself busy (not social media), and moving in a direction that makes you feel fulfilled. Your confidence will go through the roof. Please, stay in no contact for your own well-being. If they want to reach out, they will.
Agreed , Hurt has benefits through growth and understanding .
Shine within yourself and through others . Life can’t be missed !
Note to self: If you want to know where you are in his life - do NC.
Coach Lee. Greetings from Holland. After 25 days of 100% no contact I send an funny stupid whatsapp to my ex-girlfriend. She ended the relationship in november and said that there is no way to start the relationship again several times. She responded to my app and she said that she wanted to talk. We did and we are back together now. I am so grateful for all your videos. They are priceless.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
I reached out after 3 months of no contact. I did it because I didn't care about the outcome anymore. We talked like we did when we were together, and he brought up the breakup and admitted he still had feelings for me. I suggested the coffee thing and we are meeting up this sunday! He broke up with me super suddenly and impulsively. Wish me luck! X
Are there hurt feelings or thoughts u wanna let him know?
@@v.89G well for me there was a lot of confusion about his behaviour. I defenitely wanna discuss that! Other than that I am just excited to see him again
@@denise69 alright. Bcauze I am confused when it's the right time to let my ex know about my feelings
De Nise I have been in the same position as you and we are now back together. Do not discuss anything about the break up on the first meeting it will only bring back negative thoughts (coach Lee says this in one of his videos) Good luck.
@@user-yq3wm1rx6w I have a question.. I have some of his stuff left here.. N his Christmas gift.. I was about to send it to him with a letter.. He have many problems n I don't think he know about his relationship pattern..he went with someone else after 3 days dumping.
I don't wanna talk about it if we meet again but want to let him know. How would u handle this?
No contact grows and become stronger day by day and it reaches to the point where you don't want to give it back.
Im sticking with 100% no contact rule..thanks lee. Feel safe this way x
Good.
Coach. You are such a godsend! I went through a break up last Friday and today is 6 days of no contact. I initially freaked out for the first couple of hours and panicked as per normal as you say. But remembered the no contact rule from previous experience with not only my ex in this relationship but previous ex’s. I hope it works here. I just want to say thank you for your videos. I found you on UA-cam and was getting so much peace and relief from your videos that I felt compelled that I had to buy your emergency kit just to show I am grateful for all of the free information you give out. Whenever I’m feeling anxiety over the issue I just play one of your videos. You give me a lot of strength. And help me go through what is a very hard time. Appreciate you my friend.
its been almost 3 months since the breakup and i’ve done NC and radio silence and it has been very healing for me !!
its been almost 3 months since the breakup and i’ve done NC and radio silence and it has been very healing for me !!
What ended up happening, in both of your situations? I'm approaching 3 months myself.
There is no alternative, just be strong. No contact is the most powerful thing ever. If no contact doesn't get ur ex back, nothing will...
My #1 alternative or actually primary solution is move on. The idea of trying to get back with someone that at one point didn’t want to be with me made me feel like there’s better people out there for me and that turned out to be true. Especially after 2 months, I asked her if she wanted to catch up after 2 months later. She was like “yes, but I want to make sure you’re understanding that it’s just as friends”. We made plans and the day comes and she’s not even confirming that we were still meeting up. She didn’t even care about me as a friend, and I said screw it and forget her. Found someone much better for my personality.
irl87 I think you still in love with her
Never accept friendship
@@africanfufu , but he summoned the power to move on, that's what count giving the circumstances...
Irl...Let her go. You can do much better. Just give IT TIME. TIME is a GREAT HEALER!
This video reinforces the power and effectiveness of no contact. It seems
the alternatives are for those who do not have the strength, vision, and
patience to let no contact work.
I am living in my van with my ex. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago but due to our situation we havent been able to separate yet. It is impending and I dont want the breakup but I still need to see him daily...no going to separate rooms! I dont have answers to my specific issue yet so i have to try alternatives to help with my suffering. Im strong and have vision...everyone has a unique perspective so try not to judge others based on your own personal situation.
Thank you so much coach Lee.. your videos keeps me Relax during my heartbreak.. I think your videos are all intended for me.
Coah Lee is the maannnnn!!! got the ball rolling after 37 days of no contact!!
Man that music in the beginning of every video is dope plus listening to you is in itself moving on 🙌🏻🙌🏻
I've been broken up with for about a week now. He's reached out a couple times but I have talked to him since the break up which I know I shouldnt have. It's made me feel better and I've expressed how I've felt. Hes asked for space and time and I'm giving it to him. He's just confused right now and I'm hoping giving him the space and time he asked for will help him figure it out because I know he loves me. Thank you Coach Lee for helping me through this, I love your videos. Your videos give me hope that he'll realize we go well together. I wont be reaching out anymore and I know I'm going to trust the process. Thank you!
Me too, I'm giving him time but I'm afraid of the result
Hey.... any update?
hey, any updates?
@Theseattlegreen I feel your pain dude. Same situation, 9.5 years down the drain, two young children, and the pain just keeps coming my way. Only thing left for her to take from me is my kids. Which she will as she gets kicks from taking everything I care about. Wishing you and anyone else going through the hard times all the best. Massive thanks to coach Lee for all your videos, advice and helping to keep any faith possible.
If you're watching these videos you're screwed and in denial. I know I am. They don't love you back. Every time I no contact, because he's pushed me so far (and I admit I have little self control), he will contact me (month later)... we get together, I'm elated (addiction), then ignores me again. No contact just causes them to test to see if they still matter...then once you do they act hateful again. It's a never ending story of misery. Go no contact to save yourself!!!!! Electrify your keyboard if you try to contact them, do anything to stop yourself. You just end up the grief process over and over again. SAVE YOU!!!
this just happened to me... only the first time though so thats the final one
Yea my wife told me she wanted a divorce when I was deployed. When I get back I thought we could work it out. Nope I currently live in a hotel. Never saw it coming. Iv had the kids for 3 weeks now. They are the ones who are getting me through this
I disagree. there is so much I know I needed to change and the no contact allows me to change.
Ladies n gentlemen May I present the doctor that helps heal broken hearts. Thank you coach lee
I tried the "occasional contact rule" .. messaged her maybe 3-4 times over a period of 1 year, she replied politely the first 2 times, read and ignored the 3rd and 4th time... it got me nowhere, .. no, I lie... it got me blocked randomly on her social media a few months later.. STICK WITH NO CONTACT, especially if you're a man.
SJ same thing happened to me lol
No Contact is the only way
True if you are a man STICK WITH NO CONTACT , Women are psycho with their feelings, A man will normally return to his gf in a strong way but women will make u suffer & have million thoughts abt it
@@valentino00o: Women & 'girls' are ENTIRELY TWO DIFFERENT SPECIES. Women don't play, IF she wants you, there it is. A girl comes with uncertainty AND OTHER BS.
Don’t give up hope. It’s possible that she is extremely hurt and angry.
@@femakampfcounselor8466 Her sister told me so much... basically she loved me but didn't think I was right for her... I'm not sure if I buy that,. but it does feel better to think it.
It's good to have you back coach.
Did I leave? 😁
You channel is great; it has helped me so much, thanks! :)
I miss my ex
Remember guys I know your emotions try to trick you but trust me your situation and your partners situation are more than likely not that special. They will more than likely respond in the same cliche manor as everyone else if you break no contact trust me if you reset it it just takes longer. Just remain strong and let no contact do all of the work for you
.update?
A lot easier to build a new house than renovate an old house ie start over plenty of fish in the sea also longer you spend time chasing the wrong person the less time you have for the right person
Thank you, Coach Lee. I truly appreciate your insight and wisdom. I've gained a lot of strength and power watching your videos. Breakups are never easy and it's so easy to make a mess of things. When I have a moment of weakness, I go to your channel and you calm my anxiety and fear. You're a blessing! 🙂❤
True but the new house can be shattered soon if we don't use better materials while building a new house, unlike the old one.
In other words, we should definitely look and improve ourselves too in order to make it last, otherwise chances are history will repeat again.
@@aarushisahni4056 👏👏👏 also how will you learn or grow if you don't take of what you already have
@@christinalewis3635 hahaha well we don't see the value and learn anything unless we lost it what we already had. So i agree on that it's lot easier to find a new one than getting back the old one n fix the broken relationship. 😆
So responding to the main comment, we should try to become the 'right person' first before putting the allegation as 'wrong person' onto the other one. Humans are tend to do that bcs we always see ourselves as 'perfect' and for the other one as 'our wrong choice with lots of imperfections'🙈 May be the other one is just Perrrrfect for someone else na.
NO ONE is perfect in this world. What we can do is, we both can atleast try to make ourselves perfect for eachother before dragging to this level. Why to cry on spilled milk now? Take the responsibility and let them go, if they really loved you, they will find out your changes anyhow. Chasing or getting them back by playing these psychological mind games with them will take us nowhere in the long term.
Well this is what i learnt, we will not be able to identify our flaws ever if we keep looking/focusing to the other person's mistakes. Human mind is tend to justify ourselves anyhow. Just sharing my opinion.😊
I needed to hear this! Like I said before, NO CONTACT IS EXTREMELY HARD AS HELL!!! I wanted to contact her about my things and again, that would be an excuse to see her. She hasn’t called to pick up my things so I’m not going to do that. But man, this sucks!
Yin, if you need your things that she has, by all means.GO GET THEM AND THEN LEAVE HER ALONE. She has no right to keep your belongings. After you get your things, just leave. Good luck to you..
The only alternative to the no contact rule I can think of right off hand is to give into your anxiety, reach out and suffer the consequences- landing in the friend zone. Let’s watch the video and learn something.
Yes, I've had a lot of frustrations over the years of people who gave into the illusion and contacted their ex. Then they realized what a bad decision that was.
Coach Lee. Thank you for your nice video! Can you please give some advice on dealing with exes with Peter Pan Syndrome? Is it easier for them to come back? How to cope with Peter Pans in the relationship? I figured out my ex bf was with this syndrome recently. I don't think I am the only one here. It can explain so many things!
I agree, it's fact, one who doesn't value your care at that time you should learn to love yourself.
Good work Coach Lee.
Interestingly I waited so long for my ex to contact me. He texted me on New Years and then a week ago for my birthday. However, I also found out that he had two other girlfriends while we were together. Lmfao! Go figure. Safe to say that was big fat waste of time waiting for him to reach out. Now he's gone from ex bae to blocked! Good luck out there folks! 😂😂
right, which is why during the no contact rule one should be actually dating other people... so that you come from a place of abundance and you keep growing and evolving as a person.
Assuming that I didn't huh? Lol. Actually I was dating others....but didn't meet anyone I liked. Still doesn't take away from the point I made 🤦🏾♀️
I honestly don't even want my ex back after seeing her do certain things just to hurt me after the break up when all I ever did was try to show her love affection and loyalty 🤮
Thanks coach lee I bought your emergency break up kit and followed your advice after 6 weeks no contact he reached out yesterday
@@alexqueen2856 who helped you.? I'm interested to know.
I did no contact for a week and a half and she reached out and said she wanted to talk. So we met up and went to a few places and had a lot of fun. She told me shes unsure of where her emotions are that she misses me but wants to be sure that shes not just attached to me. She flirted with me a lot and told me I have a lot of qualities she wants in a man, so it feels like im getting mixed messages on whether or not she wants to try again. She agreed to go see a movie with me next week but we didnt talk at all yesterday on new years eve. I wished her a happy new year since we have initiated contact, but if she decides to cancel our date I will go back to no contact and respect her decision.
Matt, she sounds like she's calling the shots, and only see you when SHE WANTS to. Move on, and let her go. She sounds like a PLAYER.
Yeah these ideas are just nuts ... 😆 I mean, congrats to those who found it helpful, but I think I’m staying with no contact.
Coach Lee, can you do a video on what to do / how to get yourself back together if NC doesn’t work (eg. delete from social media). After 40 days of no contact and resisting the urge to send her a birthday text, i was really making progress... until I saw my ex had updated her profile picture with an engagement ring! It hit my for six and have been struggling ever since. Your content is much appreciated, it really has helped me get through this past year. Thanks
It's interesting. Im doing no contact with my ex that I also work with. She pointed out that she was sad that I didn't say happy birthday to her, and now our only contact is just a smile as I pass by her at work. Will keep updated
Working for our friendship back gives me the chance to meet him again in real life in this long distance situation. I think this is the way for me
People are saying to me, you should totally move on .I know he loves me,I don't want to kill him in pain
Rajwinder, I can recommend Coach Lee's Breakup Kit. myexbackcoach.com/ebk
Is been already 5month but she still coming as always in my mind we are 8yrs LDR damm i dont know what to do anymore its suck in my head
The coffee story brought tears to my eyes too
Coach lee about time
Your a great help thank you your a real pro
Feb 11th will be a solid no contact & a month radio silent until recently posting on FB about my outings w friends & new places.
Hi Coach Lee, I love your videos and I have learned a lot! I want your opinion on my personal case which has me kind of confused:
She broke up with me because she could no longer stand our intercontinental distance relationship. I know science says there was a drop of attraction, but she actually had counseling help to make this decision because she didn't enjoy her life with me being away, and she could not take it a week more.
I have now plans to move very close to her, mainly because of me and my professional development, but a small part still does it for her. I has been 2 weeks of breakup and no contact, but I was wondering, when is a good time to let her know I am going near, I know she will be surprised... But, do you recommend it?
Thanks!!
11 years, it hurts to not talk to him but our relationship was so strong and I respect his decisions so I've let him do his thing. It's been a week and it feels like it's been a decade in time, I certainly hope that he thinks fondly of me as our breakup was his doing and was very calm...
I did cannabis behind my partners back she thought I stopped when are son was born. I should of stopped she found out and broke 💔 up with me before Christmas. I didn't help out as much as I should of I hated myself for continuing to smoke it. I miss my family soo much I've now stopped haven't had any for nearly 3 months
My girlfriend of six months broke up with me a few days ago. We spoke the day after but agreed to take some time off and not reach out for a few days. We ended with no problems, not trust issues, no cheating, never even a fight. She has some mental health issues and they always get bad in the spring, and along with the virus thing right now, she believes she just needs to take time to care of herself first before a relationship. She still has feelings for me as I do for her. I think we have a chance to get back together. Her family and friends love me as mine do her as well. We’re both 16 also. I just need some advice on what to do in order to get her back after the few days of not talking.
Ty coach Lee. You are grest at what u do. Ty
I wish I found these before I went on texting and calling. Not necessarily because I’m even sure I want him back at this point, just because it makes me look needy and unhinged.
Oh well, I’ve left him alone.
Not drinking helps. Don’t drink and text people! Lol
Coach lee my almost x husband, showed up to the house two times and actually, he got an apartment since the day I receive that he filed a divorce, at first I tell him was so sorry and you told also in this video it's ok at first to let them know and at that first meeting I back of leaving them a message reason and straight 3 days no contact rule because of you coach lee you are sent from above.. In the third day, there were in the house leaving a lot of signs for me to see I came back and it's too obvious that they leave a lot of signs they been in the house and heartfelt I felt when I saw what they did, they even clean the cat poo my cat and did what they usually did when we're before.. and then he said how iam .. and he going into circle like he said did you tell to your mom .. and asking what’s your plan after?
And that’s the time I told him you know I know what’s our problem and what I did do wrong .. I am sorry for that if you give me another chance I know what to do now. Then that time he started crying and emotional explaining his side to me.. And he keeps talking until the topic started to roll out our relationship between us should be and how I need to learn to trust him and space(that’s what his reasoning) and it led on telling what I need to do like uninstalled Facebook and telling me the reasons why. He even talked about his days was and the past few days about his friends and 3 hours past when he suddenly keeps quiet when he mentioned people don’t change in one of his topics about his friends. And he told me to tell me directly he can't still believe if I am going to change or what I'm saying.. SOME ” so our relationship needs time.. And that's it, actually, I don't know know what do or do I have to a say something I just said as I told you I know now.. ” and he said ” it's not like it just accepts now.. Then when I trying to say that's why I said I'm sorry and I try to repeat what I said before.. Then, he went back saying take care ” then today he went back and I am sleeping I all of a sudden woke not prepared what should I do do I have to go back to sleep or should I awake. Can you make some videos of how to handle this situation? Like, I don't what is this he acted and what if he will said about the divorce procedure? -- anyway he asks me if I do need some groceries and he said we go together tomorrow at 7 pm omg what should I need to act please assist me namaste 🙏
coach lee makes me not even want my ex back... hes like go love yourself leave them alone and in the process I'm like I want someone better than my ex.
I feel so conflicted sometimes based on what my ex said to me and based on what my positive attitude says. I have friends of mine and hers that say she’d be a fool to lose me but I feel like I need more advice because my situation is similar to most but I’ve been told by my ex that we will never get back together
I never get any clear anwsers on the break up. It's always different excuses each time. At first they said I didn't live them and that I just wasn't good company. Next they said it was an unhealthy relationship (I didn't think so, we barely fought and I always let him do whatever he wanted. I just had to tighten the reins a little bit during covid) then he said it's unhealthy to date just one person in your adult life. We've been together for 8.5 years. That he wanted a room to himself. That he wanted to put all his decorations up. That he wanted to go out clubbing (at 29 while going back to uni). That he wanted to go on all these adventures (which we had planned pre covid). That he regrets the way we broke up and the timing but doesn't regret the break up. He had a break down scared I'd hate him and never talk to him again and that everyone would perceive him as an ahole ex. He still wanted to live together and share the same bed still. I made the mistake of allowing it but after a week I kicked him out of the bedroom. Then he went away for a week and came back with covid. So I was stuck in iso with him. Then after a week I got covid off him. More arguments happened, even family are angry at him and eventually I told him it's best for him to move out if he wants his space. He litterally owns a house but can't live in it because it's too far away. He also bought that house behind my back while dating. I did so much for him and stuck by him through so much and all his hospital admissions. I got him out of slum living and onto his feet. And he treated me like this in the end. He also told me I had been distant with his friends which isn't true either. I just couldn't make Sunday night game night because it didn't work for me. But I had no problems doing other activities with his friends every other day of the week. And everytime I try to ask him what the issue is and to bring it to the table so we can work it out but each time he never wants to. He complains about lack of affection but I always gave it to him when he asks. And about lack of sex but he never initiated and whenever I did he was never in the mood. He never helped with any of the housework except for the cooking on the nights he was home. Kicking him out is going to make it tough on me financially, but it's the only way either of us will get any space and start the no contact. And to give him the break up so hopefully he can reflect. He even had discounted rent living here becausehe didn't want to move out of a share house cause it'll be too expensive even though he earned more than me anyway.
Sounds like he needs a therapy.
Coach Lee can you make a video about Situationships? It sucks getting dumped by someone before commitment. 😔
I stopped all forms of communication with my ex gf because I was not happy. I was giving it my all and she wasn't giving back. In the end, she told me she won't talk much because of her exams but she feels like she's single in her head but she doesn't wonna leave me.. I continued messaging her 3 days after then I stopped, my pride was hurt. Been almost 3 months and she never made the effort to contact me. She seen me happy on social media and unfollowed me when she saw me travelling and shit... Any thought?,
Hey Coach Lee, my ex contacted me on Friday asking what I was doing the following day at 8pm. Seeing as I already had plans, I told them that I was busy but asked why and what's up. No response since. It's a Monday... what to make of this / how to proceed?
Coach Lee i love you and appreciate your work but this alternative to no contact is complicated. No contact is better in my situation🙂
I'd add to only do these alternatives if you as a person are in a state of mind after breaking up, a state of mind that allows you to properly move on after these options fail, because there is still a chance they will fail. Being in damage control mode whilst breaking no contact or going with these alternatives will be harsh and even worse then the initial break up
if this no contact is longer than 3 months, I don't think that relationship is ever going to get back, or the person wants to get back, this is what I understood, am I right?
Breathing exercises + meditation = kills depression . Get busy and ...
nooo contact.
I did this and I took a step back and let her know the situation and I told her I made changes and she open up to me and told me what was a big problem and we had coffee when we spoke and she saw the changes and we laugh but she ended the conversation and I said that ok we will catch up another time and she was not mean or arguing with me and it was a step on resting everything and it was ground one for me.
I just started dating my ex again we’re not official but do I still ask him if we can delete our dating apps? To me it feels like I’m giving him the cookie of dating me and eating the cookie by talking with others at the same time? It feels very wrong to me, is it reasonable or nah?
Hi coach Lee, me and my girlfriend of 1 year and 7 months just broke up. I've already done most of the wrong things after a break up lol (begging, apologizing, negotiating, and promising to fix it all) but unfortunately I locked my keys in my car and had to walk to her work for a ride. She was acting very strange when we talked (likely because she found out i had talked to a friend of hers about the situation) skipping all the small stuff we got to my house and talked a lot I did break down and what not I could tell she wanted to cry but when I asked she didnt want to admit it. She showed a lot of sympathy for me and told me I wasn'ta bad boyfriend. I left the car and as I got to the top of the stairs I had the urge to turn around. As I did I walked to her car to find her having a very bad breakdown. I started to ask what was wrong and she replied "I just wanted to get out of the car and hug you" I leaped out of the passenger seat and ran to her door opened it and hugged her. I talk to her and promised a better future for us and I'll NEVER forget the way she hugged my arm as tight as she did, it was like she didnt want to let go. I just kissed her on the forehead and cheeks, promising to be a better man in the future for her. We cried in each other's arms for about a minute. It was late and her mother was beginning to worry so she had to leave, she had college early in the morning. We said our goodbyes and hugged on last time. That was the last time I'd seen her in person. I'm currently on day 3 of no contact. Should I have hope of getting back together?
Feel like giving up broke no contact this week and last week when i come to work and change work shift with her and for 2 weeks she totaly ignores me walk longer ways just to stay away from me i try now again for 4-5 time to go no contact but im weak
My ex keeps trying to talk to me, sometimes she tryna be cold, but she's always like I'm avoiding her because I don't contact her, I reply when she messages I return her calls but I don't call or text her and she keeps saying she misses me
Tomorrow will mark 3 months since I’ve talked to her. We haven’t spoken until she sent me a happy holidays text back in December. Saw her today walking around campus for the first time in a while. I’m starting to lose hope she really is done. We’ve dated for over a year but her friends tell me she’s already out tinder dating while I’m over here thinking of her and working on myself 🤦🏾♂️
Do not loose hope on yourself....Time is your best friend and your biggest enemy...
hang in there brother... but don't hold out hope... when women move on, they move on... I had to learn the hard way.
Stop counting days..
What if he has a credit obligation to me but he just stopped talking to me? I forced to unfriend him in fb ..but what about his obligation?
I was in contact for the first month after the break up but have stopped contact now . Will my initial contacting him have ruined my chances of getting him back or is there still hope if I continue to stay silent?
Hey I just wanted to help clarify what my ex could be thinking. So we have no contact rn, but she occasionally reaches out to me. And when we talk she just sounds pissed and so I stay positive and talk to her about how I've been. When she asks what I've been up to I just say how I'm doing great rn and bettering myself. But I asked what was wrong. And even though SHE reached out to me, she said: "Im trying not to talk to you". So does she just miss me and not want me to think she misses me? Or that she is feeling the breakup now that no contact has started? Or is it possible something else is happening?
Hey coach lee thank you for your videos! Can you give me an advice? I still owe my ex money. I'm in NC since 4 weeks. Shall I just send the money to his bank account without any word or shall I write something polite like "thank you. I will send the rest asap"? Thank you very much in advance :)
What do you do when they come running back to you asking for a second chance if you do want it to work out ?
5 weeks into NC he contacted me 3 weeks ago i replied politely played it called... Then nothing since? Testing the water's perhaps?
What if my ex and I have been broken up for a month. She has yet to stop texting me “how amazing we were” and “how lucky we were” and sending songs we listened to and pictures of us and even pictures of me saying “I miss this guy” but then I asked to meet to talk she says the day of.. “I don’t think I want to, sorry” but then silence for two weeks and then another text of song lyrics stating “my kiss brought her back to life” and also saying “that will forever be true” what do I respond with seeing as how my simple responses have dragged it out this long and no forward movement has occurred regarding us being together.
My ex and I are long distance after the breakup. She has friends there. She's having good times, hikes with them.
I'm doing no contact.
Will she forget me and move on because of friends keep her happy all the time. Won't she reach out?
What do you do if you broke up a month ago and they still have stuff in your house, I do want him back but I’m not going to wait and his stuff in my house feels like I’m waiting. Do I just message him asking to pick it up or do I just leave it until he messaged me if ever or just throw it away?
Tomorrow is her birthday...we haven’t talked for a full week. This is tough man
Try 3 months buddy
Same! My ex's birthday is on Friday! 😞
aj sundquist
I didn’t call her and she cried. Don’t contact her. Tell her you wanted to give her space with her over ones and people she put as her priority
Dont wish them
What to do if your ex initiated no contact by telling you that both of you need time to heal (and he will reach out to you one day
since he wants you in your life long term as a friend -obviously i said we cant be friends etc etc). Eventhough he is definitely expecting me to chase..? :(
I started no contact for about a week but I saw your clean slate video and noticed i didn't end it in a good way. I said the basic "I'm sorry for the way i acted during the break up and i respect your decision even if i disagree with it". Her friend messaged me to move on and wished me well since my ex didn't respond. I am going to start radio silence and do the best i can to work on myself. I have a feeling she is talking to someone new since last time we broke up she saw someone else. I'm starting radio-silence/ no contact again. I bought your ex back kit and I feel like it will help. Although I want her back, I know I want to grow as a person. If she comes back, maybe I will take her back, maybe I wont. But the signals from her not responding to my clean slate text, and her friend messaging me to move on is troubling. Would love some advice on my situation from you, Coach. Either way, I know I want to be better.
Start working for yourself..not everything is permanent, every relationship is temporary, time come hell come to you and remember the good times...if its yours it come back..if not accept and try to love yourself or date someone else...huhu i feel you same a bit senario, her friend told me to move on since my ex fiancee never message again for almost a month, it hurts but stay NC and watch here lee's videos relief me everyday and helps me stronger person.
Self respect! Let her go!
Hi Lee! If I buy your Emergency Breakup Kit and pay via Paypal, what will it show on my bank statement? Will there be smth like "Myexback" etc or is your company named something bit more...discreet? :)
Hello King Coach😘
Thank you coach
Now I feel confused in my case as me and my LDR, NEVER MET bf met on matrimonial site... I had been time n again asking about his intentions only to hear he was 'unsure''. 9 months went by, in the last I asked him again about his intentions for us and he said 'i dont know ',so I asked him ''should I start speaking to other men on the marriage site??".(as m in my marriageable age, losing time, he knew this) . He said its upto you ,but deep down he wouldn't want that..
Now wen Im on the site he broke up with me blaming me for 'not fighting back for him' i tried once calling n talking he refused and said all is over...
What should I do, should I still try to talk and say all I needed was him and no other man or NC???? PLEASE HELP
I been doing no contact for 2 days and it’s so hard my boyfriend and I had a disagreement on him moving and going out of state and doing long distance and it was 2h always but I felt hurt because I felt left out and he left with out saying anything to me. How long do I wait to reach out or do I wait for him to talk to me?
Should I feel guilty for not wanting to share coach Lee with my ex?
Coach Lee, in your opinion. after a bad fight i msged her the next day to meet and talk and she said she was busy but maybe later that night. I declined to her maybe and now 2 days of silence. do i follow up again to set a date or is that weak?
I broke NC after 21 days, because i felt i needed to apologise. I simply did that and wished my ex all the best. No begging or mention of a reconciliation. Now back in NC.
Will no contact work for a 2 and a half month relationship? It was a good relationship but I made the mistake of losing his trust and although he tried to stay, ended up breaking up with me 2 weeks later.
What should I do if my cat lives with my ex? She’s geriatric, and I miss her. My dog also loves spending time with his “daddy”. I want to maintain NC, especially because I’m still smarting, but I want what’s best for my pets.
There are always alternatives to some action. Some are good and others are bad.
Coach, where am I at? I did NC for 10 weeks and she finally contacted me it was nice. Long text and a phone call. Then 5 days later she contacted me again and once more the next day. She is also still communicating with her rebound. It has been 15 days now since I last heard from her. I never started any of the conversations and I wonder if she stopped because she felt like she was doing all the work so maybe it’s my turn to send a text? She’s in another state right now for another 21 days and I don’t want to lose any momentum. Would it be the worst thing if I messaged her?
Also, could someone help me with what to say once they period of no contact ends? That's more or less asking for the situation where I need to reach out.
Would love to hear more scenarios with ex wife and kids I’m about 5 weeks of no contact I haven’t asked once to get back together it’s her birthday soon so I’m getting gifts from the kids. I’m only giving a generic card is that right thing to do?
What if its been a year? I've reached out in the past but he hasn't done any wok on his self until and is noticing his faults. He still says there is no chance.
My fiancé told me he needed a cool off period. Since the covid period, until now, it has been 7 weeks and I apologised to my fiancé many times and also I wasn’t the only one in the wrong. Is this considered as a breakup? He didn’t respond to me for 7 Long weeks. And his family is telling him to ignore me :(
So it's been 3 months of nc and I still love her just as much. I miss her and want her back. I just don't know what to do. I'm tempted to initiate contact
Backstory: So we met last March. We were together for a bit but then broke up in July. She was scared by my past(currently active duty but before the military I was in a gang). Fast forward to mid September, she texted me from the hospital. Bad accident but she was ok. By this time, I had flown to another place so it was long distance. She said it meant a lot that I still cared and all that. Couple days after getting back from the hospital, they called her to tell her she had a tumor. Told me before her family and she was devastated. A day or two after, I got a text from a friend that does contracting(mercenary work for lack of a better term) saying there was an opening for site security in Afghanistan. I applied so that I could go after I get out of the military for 6 months, more on that in a few......... So I tell her and she wasn't happy with it but ok'd it. Meanwhile she breaks up with her rebound and started to plan a trip and fly out to me. Also, she overtly told me she doesn't care about my past anymore. Later, we find out the tumor was benign and not cancerous. So it was a huge relief. Couple days later I told her I cancelled the Afghanistan contract. She was surprised and asking why I did. Told her I didn't need the money anymore. She was confused asking if I needed it for the move(I am moving back to her area when I get out of the military). I tell her no... I didn't need the money because it wasn't cancer...... She was emotional about it. The surgery was scheduled and the trip got cancelled but it was ok. Afterward the job search started for getting out. I started looking for a job in a city about an hour from her. She tells me to send her my Resume and portfolios so she could help look for one in her hometown. She didn't find one so I kept searching in the city. That weekend she went to the city for a seminar and was complaining about it. Said she only went to be able to attend the dinner afterward. I asked why. Magically, she was searching for a job in the city now. Now, at this point, I had job offers about 8 hours away from her as well. We also never talked about our future or what we were. So I asked her and said that if we didn't have a future I was going to the far away job because I can't be that close, see her with other guys and be ok. She dodged it and I let her. Next weekend, it was the one before her surgery, she said she was going out on a girls night out. She was snapping me the entire night. It was a house party deal. Eventually though, all the girls disappeared, dudes showed up, and it was just her and all these guys. I called her out on it and asked if there was a future or not. She dodged it. Removed me from snap a couple days later (Nov 10). Surgery happened (Nov 12) and she started texting me about it the entire night but nothing after. November 22 and 24 I texted her asking if she was ok and recovering well. Both times she replied and I left it at that.
We haven't talked since. She still likes my posts on Instagram. What are the odds she'll reach out again? I am moving to her area in April (last we spoke, it was the far place and in July). Do you think there's hope for us getting back together?
Hi Coach Lee my ex is still in contact with me texting call i just dont wanna fall for his nonsense anymore but thanks to you hes in my life again and the thing is i still love him and im still in love with him.But we havent met up with each other
maybe he is texting because he feel bored or lonely?