1. You are in conflict with yourself. Wanting routine but craving new experiences all the time. 2. ADHD hides your ASD. 3. You constantly change your hyper focus and your interests. 4. Take long time to make small decisions but a minute to decide a life change one. 5. You need to steam as well fidgeting.
Thank you for this video!! I am diagnosed with ADHD and have been suspecting AuDHD for a while, but kind of feel like an imposter because of feeling like an extrovert half of the time. It’s so validating to hear you talk about being the life of the party! It makes sense that some of us would genuinely enjoy some social situations, but still experience the intense energy drain and need a lot of recharge time.
Hey there. Just here to say: SAME!!! Under evaluation for ADHD, but psychiatrist says "I don't think you are autistic". No experience with adult autism where I live. And I definitely don't appear autistic from outside, because of my strong ADHD traits. I'm either too much or nothing at all. So good to know there are others like me out there 🤗
Oh my! At 77 years of age, I recently discovered (10yrs) that I was autistic and I have, with difficulty, adapted to it but your video makes me now realize that I am possibly also ADHD. That would explain a lot; thank you for this new awareness. 😵💫
Can relate, especially decisions part is quite eye-opening. I can suddenly decide at 3 am that I'm moving to another country, but walk at a supermarket for hour because can't choose between two teas
I remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES sure of mycologist Pedroshrooms. Mushrooms literally got me off my feet and turned my whole life around. I am currently a housing manager for a recovery program. I wouldn't have been able to do that shit without psilocybin.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Super relatable! From taking forever to make small decisions on stuff like makeup (Then never deviating... Which adds to That extreme disappointment we feel when that item is no longer being manufactured or produced...) to that yoga pose you mentioned... I specifically do that as well! Your video editor is doing a great job... Thank you for putting this video together❤
There’s something so nice about that yoga pose. Thanks for your encouragement 🤗 I’ll schedule that chat with you in November. This time for sure. Really would love to connect. Dealing with some AuDHD stuff and can use the perspective of a fellow creator
Oh yes, when they stop manufacturing something I like, it is the end of the world. Like my favourite childhood baker shut down from one day to another and I could not even eat one last of my favourite buns. Haunts me till today 😭
My ADHD side craves for new experiences and wants to go outside (and likes to travel) but when I get there, my autism side is screaming because everything is uncomfortable and new.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Psychedelic is the answer to most severe anxiety and depression. The use of magic mushrooms completely helps one get over depression and makes you feel like yourself.
I was Diagnosed with ADHD at a young age as were my brother and several of my cousins. I have recently begun learning more about autism and the more I learn the more certain I am that I have it. Both ADHD and Autism run in both sides of my family. Several of my cousins are just now getting Aspergers diagnoses. I haven't decided if I want to pursue an official diagnosis because it's such a hassle to get one, and I'm not really sure what good it would do me anyway. The worst part is feeling like there are two people inside of my brain constantly fighting for dominance and control.😭 OMG the being outgoing in public but then needing hours of self-isolation afterwards is such a huge thing! Nobody seems to get it! Even my other introverted friends don't get it and they tell me I self-isolate too much!
I am a mother of two, and late diagnosed (AuDHDer)! I love seeing so many people on social media sharing their experiences and making the neurodivergent community more visible. Thank you! These five signs were very relatable.
I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD at 65 after all those years of recognizing that I was very different. Your point about being in conflict with yourself was an ah-ha! moment for me. I've been complemented for having engaging presentation skills, but please don't come to me after the presentation to chat. I don't know how to do that, and I do not enjoy the experience. Decades ago, my wife would tease me (gently!) about hiding in bed, completely under the covers. I didn't know why I did that, but I DID know I had to. Etc. Helpful video - thumb up!
@@sirenachantal471 I was probably just lucky. My employer covered up to 20 sessions per year through an agency (not Better Help) for all full time employees. No referral needed, just sign up. I picked a therapist from the candidate list provided by the agency based on my guess as to how familiar each candidate appeared to be with ASD. After about 10 hour long sessions with the therapist, she asked if I would to hear her diagnosis. Uh, yeah! She said ASD *and* ADHD, and that she was surprised I had a reasonably successful career. Thanks?
I am formally diagnosed with both. I was diagnosed when my kids started being tested. I have a psychology degree and the DSM need major revision. Australia and also the NHS both have more updated information on this online. 😊
I had the ADHD diagnoses when I was 27. I spend most of my free time in bed. Love routine but can't maje it happen for a lot of things. Love socializing but it drains me really fast. I have my fair share of safe foods and safe fabrics or I am sensorly overloaded. I always think I'm more than one person and people find me very confusing and contradicting. I heard someone suggest ADHD and autism are probably the same thing, but both are a much broader spectrum than we always thought. And a LOT of people probably have "spectrum". I love that person. That just made so much sense.
Diagnosed ADHD mom here. Tbh, other than the last one, these symptoms can easily be just due to ADHD as well... ADHDers strive in ordered and clean environments but cannot maintain it. We can get overstimulated too. Changing interests and hyperfocus are the most basic ADHD things. If I feel that something needs research I'm not quick to decide either, but otherwise I make quick decisions. Maybe these topics need more explanation or examples on how they are AuDHD specific or how they differ from basic ADHD symptoms for it to make more sense. 🤔
Agreed.. there MUST be more to it right? Im ADHD too and she basically described me. While i tested negative on autism which I 100% agree with, as some behaviour of people on the spectrum just aint me at all and never have been, its not masking. BUT whenever im nervous, shy, insecure, overstimulated or exhausted or tired or in a bad mental space period of life, i do tend to shutdown in ways overlapping with autistic traits. Which is maybe sort of logical because some autistic traits have overlap with ADHD. I do however think my CPTSD might be the culprit of the autistic traits causing the inner conflict though, ive been suspecting it for a while and i have seen some comments here saying the exact same thing, this stuff is so interesting!
This is so amazing! I’m a woman in my late 60s and have lived all my life knowing there’s something seriously wrong with me. I figured out I’m an Aspie years ago and more recently that I’m also ADD, but this is the first time anybody has described me so precisely, down to the PDA which made my professional life sheer hell. Retirement is fantastic btw!!😅 I feel ever so slightly less weird now. Your channel is so great!
Same Rose, same. 64 and a psychologist, diagnosed at 47 and told to forget it & keep it quiet as it would have been career suicide to reveal. We have a whole new world to enjoy now though!
I met a girl, 10 weeks later we were married. June will be 20 years we're married. Only a few months ago, I discovered ASD channels on UA-cam while thinking i had tourette syndrome, after seeing a guy with it on a video doing the same twitching i do. I immediately recognized my wife as being autistic, then our daughter, then my sister and nephew, my mother, grandfather, and then my sister said she thought i had aspergers. Now that was hard. I didn't want to jump to conclusions on thin evidence. As i was close to confirming myself, i realized my best friend of 25 years is just like me. When i told him i was, he chuckled and said next i was going to say he was too. I said, well, as a matter of fact, i do, but wasn't 100% sure. A few weeks later he stumbled on a video of a guy in his field and basically described my buddy when describing what lead to him getting tested. Turns out, everyone I've ever enjoyed hanging around with are or were on the spectrum, and never have been close to any nuerotypical people.
OMG! I think you are the person on this planet I can relate most to. It was Chris from "Chris and Debby" so far, but my life experience is scaringly similar to yours! I'm undiagnosed, seing a psychiatrist for ADHD assesment, but sadly won't get autism assesment where I live. My psychiatrist is telling me all the time she doesn't think I'm autistic, because I'm high functioning and appear to be social etc. Before seing the psychiatrist, I was sure I'm auDHD, but she insits it is likely only ADHD (despite extremely high scores in online austism assesments). I think the problem is that nobody in this country has experience with adult autism and of course less with auDHD. Me, showing typical signs of imposter syndrome, was thinking, maybe the psychiatrist is right and it is only ADHD. But after watching your video I'm sure. Nope. I'm auDHD, weird to say, but I'm exactly like you! Inner fight all my life, very social at parties, but then need to be alone. I have been twirling my hair all my life. My Dad hated it and got my hair cut short twice, but I continued to play around with the little that was left. Second time I even started biting my fingers (not the nail, the skin) out of distress. My feet are always restless and even I curl my legs up like in that yoga pose. I'm guessing I'm quite some years older than you, but I don't have kids. That's the only difference I figured lol. Thanks for the video, I HAD to subscribe!
I Must agree with this as well. And often parents are also on the spectrum and have poor I pulse control and terrible emotional regulation leading to abusive instances or situations for an autistic and/or adhd child
diagnosed adhd at 33 and psych said i have autistic traits that probably mean i'm autistic too, but society sucks and while the adhd diagnosis isn't a ig deal, apparently asd may interfere with future plans involving visas so... i'm "officially unofficially" both. as in, a professional noticed i'm both but i only did assessment for on not both. i'm generally not really an extrovert and there is a lot of severe anxiety involved and ptsd, i was never the life of the party or anything... usually i'm avoiding situations like that... i may just be introverted as well, or traumatised. who knows lol. But i remember ever since i knew i was me, i'd often comment how i'm two halves that won't agree. that i can be both opposing ends of a thought simultaneously and it's ripping me in half. i often got told off for exaggerating and complaining about nothing... but it was just me trying to understand why everyone else seemed to be simple and clear and i was storm of chaos that needed order but couldn't keep order, needed novelty but demanded consistency, it was always just... a mess. anyway finally life makes sense, and now i instead get to hear people telling me that adhd is made up. and i'm like..... oh really ? as made up as you calling me lazy for years even though i had to work even harder just to semi keep up !?? the audacity... ! >.> I ended up writing a song--shortly before i even realised i was autistic, i had only just barely started to be aware that adhd might be a thing i could have, it was called Half Crazy and had a line about my brain splitting down the middle. .... well now, it makes sense NOW.
0:45 it feels like being me 😁. Also when it comes to sign number 2 in my experience the level of energy you have "switches" which part: ADHD or ASD will be dominant. Usually at work I am of course getting progressively tired through the day, getting up early etc. so my ASD side is much more prominent but at home as I am having more energy my ADHD side is more visible and I destroy my planned routines , getting distracted from reading, time blindness kicks in , frequently changing seating positions, etc. all the ADHD stuff . I would say I do the sign no.4 in the opposite way. Before I change something big i need to do research, get all the information and think about many possible outcomes, but when i see snack in vending machine there is no force to stop me from buying it. I try to not to buy it but with time i get the feeling "I have to have it so much" and even if I do not want to spend the money i still buy it and then i am angry at myself because i failed to overcome that need.
I know that feeling of being angry with myself for not being able to stop my urges... That's really good self-awareness that you spotted that at work you are more ADHD and in the safety of home more ASD. That might make a really interesting video actually. 🤔 And could help a lot more people self-identify.
No. Tomas said the opposite. ASD at work. ADHD at home. But just a niggling point. Why do these types of typos or whatever upset me so much? Lol. Make a video about that. Is it more ASD or ADHD?! Excellent video BTW. Thanks! I totally relate
@@gillrobinson3517 I'm with you! Observing miscommunication, or when people are talking about two different things bothers me SO much, and I feel compelled to butt in and clarify.
Omg, the inner conflict is SO true and constant. I was sure I was ADHD for many years, but it was only after going through the ADHD assessment processes that I realised that I may also he autistic...and I have now been diagnosed with both. Its definitely helped me make sense of myself, but I still struggle greatly.
This really resonated with me. Thank you for this! As an AuDHD mom and a therapist- I needed this connection. My grandmother just passed last night and focusing on learning today is keeping me afloat. It's beautiful seeing AuDHD women thrive and be their authentic self, point taken that I need to continue working on this myself. Have a blessed day!
This has been the best explanation of AuDHD and myself. I didn't think I had ADHD but I think that's because my Autism takes the lead. Thank you for this amazingly helpful video!
TY for this! Been doing that 'yoga' pose you speak of since I was a child. Totally get it! If you've not yet learned of weighted blankets - you have to try one!
So relate to the inner war. Have said this to myself many, many times my entire life. Relate to everything too much. But, what if you are ADHD & Autistic & have CPTSD because you were born into Multigenerational Family Trauma & a narcissistic family cult & you were abused & then scapegoated & targeted & bullied by your family of origin & all their enablers & flying monkeys because your abusers tell everyone your just crazy & deny the abuse? Well, at least I went no contact & left, that's a start. Still waiting to be correctly diagnosed & matched with another therapist who can really help me & listen to me & take me seriously. Until then, I'm grateful for videos like this so I don't completely give up hope & don't feel so alone. I have had some really good therapists who have really helped me but I was extremely traumatized by my family & childhood trauma that I think the rest of it got lost and I wasn't able to adequately describe & articulate my experiences back then as well as I can now. It would be nice to finally get the correct help & support. Very helpful video, thank you.
Thanks for putting these characteristics together. I found out about autism very late in my life. It helped me sort out my problems in a different way. I really have to look into the characteristics of adhd. Having found to have autistic characteristics was a breakthrough in my life. I don't know if learning I tend with ADHD will have as big an impact. Anyway, you have become more secure and confident in the videos I have watched these past months. May you continue to grow stronger and bring hope to us. Thank you for helping.
For me the ADHD diagnosis (self) came first. It helped me to really see my shortcomings like time-blindness, always being late, hyperfocus and ADHD Rage.. all the topics that I've already made videos about. The Autism was another deeper layer. And gave me so much self-acceptance. I'd say that accepting my ADHD made me self-aware and accepting my Autism gave me self-love. Does that make sense?
@@NeurodivergentMom yes. The autism diagnosis put it altogether for my tendencies and patterns in my life. Since I was older I already realized that I repeated my actions when in a similar situation. So all the baggage I carried dropped away since I realized I was like a group of people I did not know existed. I was not the only one who couldn't not make it work. My life is better knowing but if I was younger I would have the energy try a different way to live. As you get older it's too much to get your body moving Stay well and thank you for bringing excitement when you make your videos
I am adhd, but have also suspected autism. I get in these moods where i want a Whole new change of pace, then I make the change or move but then the novelty wears off and back to feeling a little depressed or anxious. I also do want routines but takes effort to get there but they genuinely work for me for the productivity aspect of it.
Thank you for your comment and encouragement. It's so inspiring when someone who is mature is still open minded and accepting of other people's experiences.
@@NeurodivergentMom Sometimes older people find out that it’s our experience as well; we were just never diagnosed until we were older (in perimenopause, for example).
For me - tons of intense interests that I cycle through, delving deeply (too much so) when I'm focused on one; schedules and budgets obsessively created and completely not adhered to 😅; strong desire for stability with the impulsiveness to go on a cross country trip with literally a few hours notice (long enough to throw stuff in the vehicle)
I'm not diagnosed but I have been hyperfixating on this for the last 2 years almost and just trying to understand if it is AuDHD. Cause nothing felt fully right until recently. I relate so hard to everything mentioned here... Sometimes I really can't tell which part is dominant cause both sides are in screaming matches inside and I feel like I am in inertia. Just stuck in place. Depending on environment and situations and mental state that day, one is more dominant over the other so I keep constantly feel like so confused and end up questioning if I am a crazy person... and there is this constant feeling of disorientation like... what am I doing? Why do I feel so fake? It's just so confusing a lot of the times and it isn't easier when that other voice keeps just dismissing all the conclusions I am intuitively jumping to... those two sides to the same coin that is me, that duality hits so hard...
"Why do I feel so fake" is so real 😭 Wow 2 years. I just started researching last month I guess I can also use the word "hyperfixated" I can't even sleep until I do some research
My therapist had me screened for autism. She said I definitely have Asperger’s. I’ve already been diagnosed with ADHD. This video is me. I’ve always felt at war with myself. Split into two. I thought it was my BPD. I also have CPTSD which like so many people have said is linked with autism. Thanks for this video.
I wonder how many of us with both got misdiagnosed with bipolar or schizoaffective? I did. It took years for a psychiatrist to figure out i was misdiagnosed.
Whoa! I'm 42 and just recently realised I might be both. All the points you made fit perfectly, but the decision part hit the most. I've been trying to decide on a wall colour for 5 years now but I decided to marry my husband after dating for some weeks and recently quit my job of almost 8 years within minutes.
😂 I'm exactly the same at 57. It doesn't get any better. We got engaged after 6 weeks and married 4 months later, 22 wonderful years. He's also neurodivergent (dyslexic) and I think it helps us to understand one another.
My walls are a neutral cream color because I cannot decide on colors/artwork…I decided to marry my husband after a month of knowing each other/dating, and we married 6mo later. We’re celebrating 17 years in January. 🤔😳
Oh yeah, I got engaged to my wife in less than a month after meeting her (20+ years later we're still married), I decided to take a year abroad in college within a week of finding out about it, all the big decisions are fast. I ruminate over buying the right t-shirt for months. It drives me crazy.
I have to listen to pink noise or brown nose or the airplane sounds because I can't stand hearing the news channel in the background and it makes me angry and negative. Self- soothing is underrated. I totally understand the stress building up in your system when you can't stim. You are doing great for having both. I feel like I'm failing adulting.
I went off my Cymbalta for a few days (a nightmare, cuz the Dr's office was closed over the weekend) and I remembered how crazy my ADHD actually was (part of it was withdrawals though) I could not remain calm very long, my brain was going even faster, I took my vyvanse which helped but the Cymbalta not being in my system made my anxiety BAD, I usually take it at night so I can calm down and go to sleep and helps my brain make the serotonin 😅
Wonderful video! :) not enough people talk about this topic yet (especially in science), thank you for making this! As an AUDHDer myself, please just re-consider these two wordings: 14:22 - it makes me look very girly, very ditzy and untintelligent 16:33 - be the best version of themselves despite their neurodivergence, despite the adhd. On the first one: Visible typically autim-associated stims are often already considered a marker of less intelligence. It's so important to work against that misconception first of all but also the negative connontation we have on less intelligence in general. Some people are less intelligent (also intelligence is multifacetted and diverse) and that is ok, not something to be ashamed about. They are just as valuable, wonderful human beings as everyone else. In your comment you make the association of girly and unintelligent without further comment, let's celebrate films like Legally Blonde to make away with that association too!
I can relate and I was diagnosed with ADHD and autistic traits ( depression and anxiety)I was told that they could not diagnose me with autism but tell me if I had traits but the psychologist ( whom was male) said he thinks it is mild and that it is my anxiety that causes me to struggle with socializing..I masked a lot in life and their test is outdated based on males and not every autistic people are math and science geniuses and again the tests were based on males. Oh I like trains and horses lol but many other things as well 😅 there is a side of me that just loves children's stuff ( like Winnie the Pooh and other children's book characters, sesame Street, rugrats and I am 43. I also like coach purses lol .I also have many children at home My husband is also neurodivergent and also still likes children stuff) We also both have some learning disabilities. I did the test via zoom and it was 4 hours long and black and white and the question segment about my life was difficult for me because the questions were not specific enough. They also even said I don't do the stereotypical hand flapping but I do a lot of other stimming like hair twirling, dancing, singing, clapping my hands and putting all my fingers down on my hand like I am trying to create circulation.
@@NeurodivergentMomMe too! It is like when I want to forgot about my responsibilities for a bit...I watch shows were they don't have any and the parents are clueless lol 😆😆
Oh gosh, I’m just a younger version of you!! I have the same symptoms as you!!! But for me I have Tourette’s Syndrome, extra sensitive to my hearing and sight and taste. I’m still not “officially” diagnosed but unofficially finally diagnosed. But I want it officially diagnosed. But in the same time I have selective mutism, so I need my phones to interact with people too. I love LOVE horses AND donkeys😍 I’m still in my journey to get my diagnosis, so I’m happy for you 🥹
@@KaylaLKwon ❤️Yes, I hope you the absolutely best for you! I too had selective mutism when younger and then had many children so my ADHD was once again enhanced with probably OCD. My children actually helped me to learn more about myself since they too are neurodivergent.Now that I am going through perimenopause I am having trouble with masking. Which is ok to a degree because it is exhausting. I believe I also have dysgraphia, hyperlexia and dyscalculia. I am glad you know this younger when I was younger I knew I was somehow different but didn't have the language to express it. I struggled with self esteem yet was confident it that makes sense I think it was the neurological world and people reactions to my difference bringing me down causing me anxiety and depression and effecting my confidence.. We tend to also get PTSD due to this.
My interests kinda feel like a carousel. The majority of them are relatively permanent, but my brain jumps between them, choosing which one to focus on depending on what I'm feeling at the time. I'll usually always come back around to being really interested in most of them, though.
This is me! 🤯 In school I used to have so many stims & fidgets. I used to do the leg twist thing, and chewing & playing with my hair, tapping, knee jiggling. Now I don't have enough stims & I am so stressed all the time. I need to find some stims that work for me now Also the other things: so many contradictions and internal conflicts.
I’m adhd and I had an autism assessment last week, I literally know with everything I am that I am Audhd but the psychiatrist refused to assess me past a couple of questions because “I’m not like any of the other autistic individuals he’s worked with before” so therefore he says I’m not autistic. So weird. I don’t understand US healthcare. If I want an actual autism assessment with people who work solely with autistic/audhders I literally need to pay thousands of dollars….
Women face this problem a lot. We are so highly masked and maybe these assessors are trained to look for typical male expressions of autism. It’s unfair in a way. Or simply unaware. I don’t know. Self diagnosis and self identification of being autistic is also super empowering
is it possible for it to be the other way around-? as in autism ‘hiding’ the adhd? i’m a girl and was diagnosed with autism around 15 i think. pretty much my whole life i had been treated for anxiety off and on (there was a point also where i was suspected to have ocd, unsure if i would still qualify for diagnosis) when i finally realized “oh, this isn’t just anxiety” and learned more abt autism it was kind of an epiphany because of how much i related. but now i feel like there’s a chance i’m still missing something. i experience the internal conflict you talk about a LOT. most people think i’m reserved and quiet so when i am more loud/extroverted they are surprised. i used to identify as an introvert, and i definitely do need my alone time, but around the right people i do feel like an extrovert in the sense of gaining energy from socializing. so now i consider myself an ambivert but i don’t feel like it’s in the way most people think?? idk i’m kinda rambling atp 😭 but yeah uh. might be worth mentioning i also struggle with depression- i think part of it is caused by being autistic but i definitely experience seasonal affective as well. maybe i need to revisit talking with a psychologist/therapist but i haven’t found it very helpful so 🫤
I'm no expert, but I believe it can go both ways and even vary within the same person. Probably depending on the environment and what is happening in your life etc. Also, I don't know if they are still using ADD diagnosis, but take that into consideration as well, if you feel that there's ADHD "hidden" somewhere inside of you.
Amazing video! Am 31 finally getting assessed/diagnosed with ADHD but also now pretty sure I’m AuDHD just my ADHD side has always overshadowed the autism in public but I’ve always felt the energy drain after social things even though I was the high energy talkative, loud party guy. I’ve got two daughters now and am just trying to be a good dad. Loved your video new subscriber
So glad to have found your channel! Thank you for posting this. Also that lipstick color is so beautiful!! Doesn’t it feel so satisfying to find the perfect red for your face? ❤❤❤
I had always attributed my ADHD symptoms to autism because no one really knew you could have both until recent years. But you're right, I'm always fighting my need for sameness and routine with the urge to experience something new. For me that has a lot of different ways that it looks like: - Constantly having the urge to do something else, but not being able to stop whatever I'm currently doing (I'm doing this right now). - Feeling excited about doing something fun or interesting later, but not being able to do it when the time actually comes because of the stress of changing the routine. - Liking the idea of doing something new in theory, but feeling stressed out and discouraged when I actually do it in practice. - Needing to do the same exercise routine every time I go to the gym, but getting bored of the routine and changing it every 2 months. - Never feeling quite satisfied with my current group of friends, but finding it really stressful to meet new people. - Wanting to do something with my friends or family, but never wanting to do the thing they suggest. - Trying to define myself as a certain kind of person (my "aesthetic of the week"), but never being able to stick to any self-concept consistently. - Constantly comparing my current life situation to a more exciting (and unrealistic) version of what life could be like- if only I wasn't trapped by my routines and need for consistency.
haha me and my husband met on a craigslist rideshare ad 12 plus years ago. Not sure how we are together still. Your video is really spot on. Way to go team... I definitely need a helper especially if it come to something technical, I used to be really embarrassed and not ask, now the anxiety of failure supersedes the shame. I am working on breath and self awareness and using tools.
Congratulations on being able to be a parent too. I chose not to do so and I have both Autism and Combined ADHD with complex mathematics disabilities as well
What type of therapy or behavioural help or coaching can help with this? Couldn’t relate more to the part about getting obsessive but then not following through.. and just.. KNOWING so clearly what needs to be done. I’ve been exploring PDA and would really use some guidance.
Diagnosed a kid with Asperger's when that's what it was called. Not sure if this fidget vs stim. I have stims but then there is when I just have to jump out of my chair and go for walk, do pushups, or something physical. Definitely feel at war in my brain. I create routines as like routines but don't follow my routines. If did follow my routine I'd be on time more often but can't seem to do it for example.
Until 2013 this explains it. They called my ADHD the verient type. This totally explains what's going on and now I'm not surprised many of us older people were almost misdiagnosed as Bipolar. The highly social and then the crash antisocial.
OMG this is so true, I took 7 years to agree to think about changing my utility company but decided overnight to move to australia. Haha. And again to move back to the UK.
I love the acknowledgment and understanding we can only get from the lived experience that we share You articulated so well by including the little personal stories Now I have one question only another AUDHR would get WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN THEY STOP MAKING THAT CONCEALER??!!?🙃🙃 they discontinued my mascara back in 2011 I'm still not over it😫😫 nobody understands....nothings the same.....😂 it's really NOT funny though I still mourn every time I do my makeup! Any advice❣️
Is this a sign of having both? I can't do anything when I have free time alone. For example, I want to play video games, but I can't focus. Something feels wrong. Then I try something else, but the same thing happens over and over again. So I can't do anything in my free time. I feel nothing but anxiety. I regret doing nothing."
Haha, I do the same thing about twirling my hair to stim and somehow I never made the connection that the short hair and long hair versions were like alternatives to each other based on the hair I have at the time.
The body cravings are what tipped me off to being more neurodivergent than most ADHDers. Even on a good day, I have the physical craving for a hug or to be contained in some way. I have been called clingy because I want that physical attention. But I do need my own space and hope that my friends have their own hobbies and their own lives.
I created a space for started and unfinished projects. Set your living space up for your own individual success! 😆🙌🏼 Now I have a spot that can hold all of the large projects that need space; so I can have a desk and dining room table. Room function is important.
I think mankind has forgotten how to "behave" & of course our peers, govenors tell us how to behave. My in-law wont look at our grandsons pictures, because, that's what girls do and coo over the cuteness of the child. This is a distinct lack in a man. Yet our grandson has other men not related, his dad's age, treating him like close family. These are men. Twirling your hair makes you You. Boys find comfort in it too. It doesn't take away from intelligence and probably is very much related to your childhood. ADHD is said to be a disorder. It's a label for people who are different, diverse, may have diifficulty fitting in with the "Norm." What is normal by the way? We seem to be happy with labels (or tge person who puts the label on you) but the label stops us asking questions. I have a 30+ year diagnosis of a syndrome when now it seems I actually have a med induced anaemia. I'm not saying ADHD is total nonsense and we shouldn't make allowances. But it's not the end of moving forward. We need diverse people. We need to understand ourselves and others and work together.
This is so interesting. ❤ i definitely have ADD. This sounds like me. Fascinating. My fiance gets upset with me somrtimes with some of thr 5 signs. My hyper focus has been wigs and taught myself wit help of youtube creators how ti do my nails from home! Its been since like 2020. Im over it now and need to find something else.❤ obsess over certain foods and dont eat enough. 😢 No way! You twirl your hair?! Ive done it since i was 4 but i rip mine ojt and i have to twirl. Holy crap.
I’m 61 and not yet diagnosed but strongly suspect I’m both. I also twirl my hair and fidget at the same time. The last few years I’ve twirled my hair so much that the ends break off and I haven’t needed a haircut for about 10 years!
What does it feel like? Exhausting. Have you lived your life thinking how anyone could enjoy this life because life has just been suffering for you, especially anything to do with other humans, you may be autistic and or ADHD.
Restless legs syndrome is not the same as stimshaking the leg. I do have both things going on and I can tell you, restless legs is a real pain in the ass cause it has a real uncomfortable feeling inside of the legs. While stimshaking is done by my preferred one leg cause it makes me more stable I think.
I always had this conflict in me between being spontaneous and following my routines. It resulted in indecision at every level. I have not being diagnosed professionally for either, but I have done 2.5 years of research to reach 90% certainty that I’m autistic. My father most likely has ADHD, so it’s not a far reach to say I have both.
I take This as valuable feedback and will try out some different editing styles Maybe the autism makes the fast speed of the cuts unpleasant, I don’t know but my autistic side might feel that way
It wasn’t until I started taking ADHD meds that a therapist suggested that I probably am autistic as well; apparently either condition can help mask the other.
This sounds like a split in consciousness from trauma. This calls for shadow integration, communicating to both sides and having those opposing opposites communicate to each other until they come into understanding and coherence.
I always curious to find the spiritual meaning behind everything but so far haven’t found a connection to autism and spirituality. Please share more about what you mean here and any other connection to autism and adhd from a spiritual perspective. ADHD and trauma connection has been studied and researched but autism not so much.
I didn't get the Autism diagnosis, because my ADHD hid my Autism beautifully. I myself only realised 2 years ago I had Autism while I had been aware of my ADHD for years. I'm in the UK and they used the DSM 5, which I found very strange. I was seen by a very neurotypical male doctor, so I closed down immediately and masked like a pro. I had no control over it. And I didn't get the diagnosis and has been devastated since. I know I'm autistic and it feels like a part of my authentic self has been denied to me by some idiot who saw me via a camera for 50 minutes. Feels like they don't really care at all. Just ticking off boxes. Anyone has any advice? I haven't been leaving the house since the call been having insomnia and can't eat. A psychiatrist literally caused me my latest trauma. What do I do?
1. You are in conflict with yourself. Wanting routine but craving new experiences all the time.
2. ADHD hides your ASD.
3. You constantly change your hyper focus and your interests.
4. Take long time to make small decisions but a minute to decide a life change one.
5. You need to steam as well fidgeting.
Thanks a lot. I couldn't wait for the points or concentrate long enough for this whole video. So this summary helps a lot!
@@MiKa-lf2gjikr? ugh.
Whats the difference between stimming and fidgeting does anybody know??
@ fidgeting is something you’ll do with your body, like biting your nails and stimming is a type of behaviour that helps you shout.
Thanks, yeah that was not ADHD friendly lol
I’m always fighting with myself. I make plans then last min I regret making those plans
This inner battle! I know it so well too
Or taking on a very difficult task...like setting one op for failure...😮
@@marcellavlooijen3605 😢
I do the exact same!!!!!!!! 💯 so what does this mean?
Thank you for this video!! I am diagnosed with ADHD and have been suspecting AuDHD for a while, but kind of feel like an imposter because of feeling like an extrovert half of the time. It’s so validating to hear you talk about being the life of the party! It makes sense that some of us would genuinely enjoy some social situations, but still experience the intense energy drain and need a lot of recharge time.
Hey there. Just here to say: SAME!!!
Under evaluation for ADHD, but psychiatrist says "I don't think you are autistic". No experience with adult autism where I live. And I definitely don't appear autistic from outside, because of my strong ADHD traits. I'm either too much or nothing at all. So good to know there are others like me out there 🤗
@ yay, so glad you relate too!
Oh my! At 77 years of age, I recently discovered (10yrs) that I was autistic and I have, with difficulty, adapted to it but your video makes me now realize that I am possibly also ADHD. That would explain a lot; thank you for this new awareness. 😵💫
I’m glad this video helped you.
Can relate, especially decisions part is quite eye-opening. I can suddenly decide at 3 am that I'm moving to another country, but walk at a supermarket for hour because can't choose between two teas
In our house, the Un-Finished Objects are better known as UFO's
Omg this is hilarious! Stealing this.
I need to save this for future reference
Bahahahah I love that
🤣
I remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES sure of mycologist Pedroshrooms. Mushrooms literally got me off my feet and turned my whole life around. I am currently a housing manager for a recovery program. I wouldn't have been able to do that shit without psilocybin.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Not for everyone but glad u had a good experience
Super relatable! From taking forever to make small decisions on stuff like makeup (Then never deviating... Which adds to That extreme disappointment we feel when that item is no longer being manufactured or produced...) to that yoga pose you mentioned... I specifically do that as well!
Your video editor is doing a great job... Thank you for putting this video together❤
There’s something so nice about that yoga pose. Thanks for your encouragement 🤗 I’ll schedule that chat with you in November. This time for sure. Really would love to connect. Dealing with some AuDHD stuff and can use the perspective of a fellow creator
Oh yes, when they stop manufacturing something I like, it is the end of the world. Like my favourite childhood baker shut down from one day to another and I could not even eat one last of my favourite buns. Haunts me till today 😭
I'm usually scrolling Shorts, and here I am finishing a 17:32 video !!! thx for the great content
In my case, the autism is the dominant side, it hides the ADHD, until it doesn’t. Sometimes the ADHD takes control and my family sees it fast.
My ADHD side craves for new experiences and wants to go outside (and likes to travel) but when I get there, my autism side is screaming because everything is uncomfortable and new.
Same!
@@rebeccalivingston7465do you have fybromyalgia from it
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
dr.zachary3 is the man
On Instagram?
Yes
Psychedelic is the answer to most severe anxiety and depression. The use of magic mushrooms completely helps one get over depression and makes you feel like yourself.
I was Diagnosed with ADHD at a young age as were my brother and several of my cousins. I have recently begun learning more about autism and the more I learn the more certain I am that I have it. Both ADHD and Autism run in both sides of my family. Several of my cousins are just now getting Aspergers diagnoses. I haven't decided if I want to pursue an official diagnosis because it's such a hassle to get one, and I'm not really sure what good it would do me anyway.
The worst part is feeling like there are two people inside of my brain constantly fighting for dominance and control.😭
OMG the being outgoing in public but then needing hours of self-isolation afterwards is such a huge thing! Nobody seems to get it! Even my other introverted friends don't get it and they tell me I self-isolate too much!
The good it can do you is access to resources and treatments which are actually tailored to your needs.
I am a mother of two, and late diagnosed (AuDHDer)! I love seeing so many people on social media sharing their experiences and making the neurodivergent community more visible. Thank you! These five signs were very relatable.
I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD at 65 after all those years of recognizing that I was very different. Your point about being in conflict with yourself was an ah-ha! moment for me. I've been complemented for having engaging presentation skills, but please don't come to me after the presentation to chat. I don't know how to do that, and I do not enjoy the experience. Decades ago, my wife would tease me (gently!) about hiding in bed, completely under the covers. I didn't know why I did that, but I DID know I had to. Etc. Helpful video - thumb up!
How did you get your doctors to work with you on getting the diagnosis? I keep getting dismissed in my mid 50s.
@@sirenachantal471 I was probably just lucky. My employer covered up to 20 sessions per year through an agency (not Better Help) for all full time employees. No referral needed, just sign up. I picked a therapist from the candidate list provided by the agency based on my guess as to how familiar each candidate appeared to be with ASD. After about 10 hour long sessions with the therapist, she asked if I would to hear her diagnosis. Uh, yeah! She said ASD *and* ADHD, and that she was surprised I had a reasonably successful career. Thanks?
I am formally diagnosed with both. I was diagnosed when my kids started being tested. I have a psychology degree and the DSM need major revision. Australia and also the NHS both have more updated information on this online. 😊
I had the ADHD diagnoses when I was 27. I spend most of my free time in bed. Love routine but can't maje it happen for a lot of things. Love socializing but it drains me really fast. I have my fair share of safe foods and safe fabrics or I am sensorly overloaded. I always think I'm more than one person and people find me very confusing and contradicting.
I heard someone suggest ADHD and autism are probably the same thing, but both are a much broader spectrum than we always thought. And a LOT of people probably have "spectrum". I love that person. That just made so much sense.
BTW this is the best video on the experience of having both ADHD and autism. I relate to everything you mention. 🙏
Diagnosed ADHD mom here. Tbh, other than the last one, these symptoms can easily be just due to ADHD as well... ADHDers strive in ordered and clean environments but cannot maintain it. We can get overstimulated too. Changing interests and hyperfocus are the most basic ADHD things. If I feel that something needs research I'm not quick to decide either, but otherwise I make quick decisions.
Maybe these topics need more explanation or examples on how they are AuDHD specific or how they differ from basic ADHD symptoms for it to make more sense. 🤔
Agreed.. there MUST be more to it right? Im ADHD too and she basically described me. While i tested negative on autism which I 100% agree with, as some behaviour of people on the spectrum just aint me at all and never have been, its not masking. BUT whenever im nervous, shy, insecure, overstimulated or exhausted or tired or in a bad mental space period of life, i do tend to shutdown in ways overlapping with autistic traits. Which is maybe sort of logical because some autistic traits have overlap with ADHD. I do however think my CPTSD might be the culprit of the autistic traits causing the inner conflict though, ive been suspecting it for a while and i have seen some comments here saying the exact same thing, this stuff is so interesting!
This is so amazing! I’m a woman in my late 60s and have lived all my life knowing there’s something seriously wrong with me. I figured out I’m an Aspie years ago and more recently that I’m also ADD, but this is the first time anybody has described me so precisely, down to the PDA which made my professional life sheer hell. Retirement is fantastic btw!!😅 I feel ever so slightly less weird now. Your channel is so great!
Same Rose, same. 64 and a psychologist, diagnosed at 47 and told to forget it & keep it quiet as it would have been career suicide to reveal. We have a whole new world to enjoy now though!
I met a girl, 10 weeks later we were married. June will be 20 years we're married. Only a few months ago, I discovered ASD channels on UA-cam while thinking i had tourette syndrome, after seeing a guy with it on a video doing the same twitching i do. I immediately recognized my wife as being autistic, then our daughter, then my sister and nephew, my mother, grandfather, and then my sister said she thought i had aspergers. Now that was hard. I didn't want to jump to conclusions on thin evidence. As i was close to confirming myself, i realized my best friend of 25 years is just like me. When i told him i was, he chuckled and said next i was going to say he was too. I said, well, as a matter of fact, i do, but wasn't 100% sure. A few weeks later he stumbled on a video of a guy in his field and basically described my buddy when describing what lead to him getting tested. Turns out, everyone I've ever enjoyed hanging around with are or were on the spectrum, and never have been close to any nuerotypical people.
OMG! I think you are the person on this planet I can relate most to. It was Chris from "Chris and Debby" so far, but my life experience is scaringly similar to yours! I'm undiagnosed, seing a psychiatrist for ADHD assesment, but sadly won't get autism assesment where I live. My psychiatrist is telling me all the time she doesn't think I'm autistic, because I'm high functioning and appear to be social etc. Before seing the psychiatrist, I was sure I'm auDHD, but she insits it is likely only ADHD (despite extremely high scores in online austism assesments). I think the problem is that nobody in this country has experience with adult autism and of course less with auDHD. Me, showing typical signs of imposter syndrome, was thinking, maybe the psychiatrist is right and it is only ADHD. But after watching your video I'm sure. Nope. I'm auDHD, weird to say, but I'm exactly like you! Inner fight all my life, very social at parties, but then need to be alone. I have been twirling my hair all my life. My Dad hated it and got my hair cut short twice, but I continued to play around with the little that was left. Second time I even started biting my fingers (not the nail, the skin) out of distress. My feet are always restless and even I curl my legs up like in that yoga pose.
I'm guessing I'm quite some years older than you, but I don't have kids. That's the only difference I figured lol. Thanks for the video, I HAD to subscribe!
I have these signs but I'm not autistic. I just have Complex PTSD. It's quite phenomenal what child abuse can do to the brain.
Interesting because I have been told I have ADHD. I was severely abused and neglected as a child, and again as an adult. Makes sense
Yup. It’s also rare to find a non-traumatized (in some way) autistic person, which makes the overlap that more difficult to tell apart.
@@janelle76
Often it's both, you can have ADHD and PTSD and it's usually a combination because ADHD and autism often leads to getting abused.
I have to agree with that
I Must agree with this as well. And often parents are also on the spectrum and have poor I pulse control and terrible emotional regulation leading to abusive instances or situations for an autistic and/or adhd child
diagnosed adhd at 33 and psych said i have autistic traits that probably mean i'm autistic too, but society sucks and while the adhd diagnosis isn't a ig deal, apparently asd may interfere with future plans involving visas so... i'm "officially unofficially" both. as in, a professional noticed i'm both but i only did assessment for on not both.
i'm generally not really an extrovert and there is a lot of severe anxiety involved and ptsd, i was never the life of the party or anything... usually i'm avoiding situations like that... i may just be introverted as well, or traumatised. who knows lol.
But i remember ever since i knew i was me, i'd often comment how i'm two halves that won't agree. that i can be both opposing ends of a thought simultaneously and it's ripping me in half. i often got told off for exaggerating and complaining about nothing... but it was just me trying to understand why everyone else seemed to be simple and clear and i was storm of chaos that needed order but couldn't keep order, needed novelty but demanded consistency, it was always just... a mess.
anyway finally life makes sense, and now i instead get to hear people telling me that adhd is made up. and i'm like..... oh really ? as made up as you calling me lazy for years even though i had to work even harder just to semi keep up !?? the audacity... ! >.>
I ended up writing a song--shortly before i even realised i was autistic, i had only just barely started to be aware that adhd might be a thing i could have, it was called Half Crazy and had a line about my brain splitting down the middle. .... well now, it makes sense NOW.
May we hear your SONG?
0:45 it feels like being me 😁. Also when it comes to sign number 2 in my experience the level of energy you have "switches" which part: ADHD or ASD will be dominant. Usually at work I am of course getting progressively tired through the day, getting up early etc. so my ASD side is much more prominent but at home as I am having more energy my ADHD side is more visible and I destroy my planned routines , getting distracted from reading, time blindness kicks in , frequently changing seating positions, etc. all the ADHD stuff . I would say I do the sign no.4 in the opposite way. Before I change something big i need to do research, get all the information and think about many possible outcomes, but when i see snack in vending machine there is no force to stop me from buying it. I try to not to buy it but with time i get the feeling "I have to have it so much" and even if I do not want to spend the money i still buy it and then i am angry at myself because i failed to overcome that need.
I know that feeling of being angry with myself for not being able to stop my urges...
That's really good self-awareness that you spotted that at work you are more ADHD and in the safety of home more ASD. That might make a really interesting video actually. 🤔 And could help a lot more people self-identify.
No. Tomas said the opposite. ASD at work. ADHD at home. But just a niggling point. Why do these types of typos or whatever upset me so much? Lol. Make a video about that. Is it more ASD or ADHD?!
Excellent video BTW. Thanks! I totally relate
@@gillrobinson3517 I'm with you! Observing miscommunication, or when people are talking about two different things bothers me SO much, and I feel compelled to butt in and clarify.
Omg, the inner conflict is SO true and constant. I was sure I was ADHD for many years, but it was only after going through the ADHD assessment processes that I realised that I may also he autistic...and I have now been diagnosed with both. Its definitely helped me make sense of myself, but I still struggle greatly.
This really resonated with me. Thank you for this! As an AuDHD mom and a therapist- I needed this connection. My grandmother just passed last night and focusing on learning today is keeping me afloat. It's beautiful seeing AuDHD women thrive and be their authentic self, point taken that I need to continue working on this myself.
Have a blessed day!
This has been the best explanation of AuDHD and myself. I didn't think I had ADHD but I think that's because my Autism takes the lead. Thank you for this amazingly helpful video!
TY for this! Been doing that 'yoga' pose you speak of since I was a child. Totally get it! If you've not yet learned of weighted blankets - you have to try one!
So relate to the inner war. Have said this to myself many, many times my entire life. Relate to everything too much. But, what if you are ADHD & Autistic & have CPTSD because you were born into Multigenerational Family Trauma & a narcissistic family cult & you were abused & then scapegoated & targeted & bullied by your family of origin & all their enablers & flying monkeys because your abusers tell everyone your just crazy & deny the abuse? Well, at least I went no contact & left, that's a start. Still waiting to be correctly diagnosed & matched with another therapist who can really help me & listen to me & take me seriously. Until then, I'm grateful for videos like this so I don't completely give up hope & don't feel so alone. I have had some really good therapists who have really helped me but I was extremely traumatized by my family & childhood trauma that I think the rest of it got lost and I wasn't able to adequately describe & articulate my experiences back then as well as I can now. It would be nice to finally get the correct help & support. Very helpful video, thank you.
Thanks for putting these characteristics together. I found out about autism very late in my life. It helped me sort out my problems in a different way.
I really have to look into the characteristics of adhd. Having found to have autistic characteristics was a breakthrough in my life. I don't know if learning I tend with ADHD will have as big an impact. Anyway, you have become more secure and confident in the videos I have watched these past months. May you continue to grow stronger and bring hope to us. Thank you for helping.
For me the ADHD diagnosis (self) came first. It helped me to really see my shortcomings like time-blindness, always being late, hyperfocus and ADHD Rage.. all the topics that I've already made videos about.
The Autism was another deeper layer. And gave me so much self-acceptance.
I'd say that accepting my ADHD made me self-aware and accepting my Autism gave me self-love.
Does that make sense?
@@NeurodivergentMom yes. The autism diagnosis put it altogether for my tendencies and patterns in my life. Since I was older I already realized that I repeated my actions when in a similar situation. So all the baggage I carried dropped away since I realized I was like a group of people I did not know existed. I was not the only one who couldn't not make it work. My life is better knowing but if I was younger I would have the energy try a different way to live. As you get older it's too much to get your body moving
Stay well and thank you for bringing excitement when you make your videos
I am adhd, but have also suspected autism. I get in these moods where i want a Whole new change of pace, then I make the change or move but then the novelty wears off and back to feeling a little depressed or anxious. I also do want routines but takes effort to get there but they genuinely work for me for the productivity aspect of it.
Grandma here. What you say. Whoa. Interested I am. Thank you for showing up.
Thank you for your comment and encouragement. It's so inspiring when someone who is mature is still open minded and accepting of other people's experiences.
@@NeurodivergentMom Sometimes older people find out that it’s our experience as well; we were just never diagnosed until we were older (in perimenopause, for example).
For me - tons of intense interests that I cycle through, delving deeply (too much so) when I'm focused on one; schedules and budgets obsessively created and completely not adhered to 😅; strong desire for stability with the impulsiveness to go on a cross country trip with literally a few hours notice (long enough to throw stuff in the vehicle)
I have both didn’t get my full dual diagnosis until last year at the tender age of 42
I'm not diagnosed but I have been hyperfixating on this for the last 2 years almost and just trying to understand if it is AuDHD. Cause nothing felt fully right until recently. I relate so hard to everything mentioned here... Sometimes I really can't tell which part is dominant cause both sides are in screaming matches inside and I feel like I am in inertia. Just stuck in place. Depending on environment and situations and mental state that day, one is more dominant over the other so I keep constantly feel like so confused and end up questioning if I am a crazy person... and there is this constant feeling of disorientation like... what am I doing? Why do I feel so fake? It's just so confusing a lot of the times and it isn't easier when that other voice keeps just dismissing all the conclusions I am intuitively jumping to... those two sides to the same coin that is me, that duality hits so hard...
"Why do I feel so fake" is so real 😭
Wow 2 years. I just started researching last month
I guess I can also use the word "hyperfixated" I can't even sleep until I do some research
Ask the professional s now, waiting lists are crazy long
@@Kitty-y-x4c same here. Easily hyperfixating on new concepts, especially psychological related terms.
I can relate to this so much! Thank you for sharing
My therapist had me screened for autism. She said I definitely have Asperger’s. I’ve already been diagnosed with ADHD. This video is me. I’ve always felt at war with myself. Split into two. I thought it was my BPD. I also have CPTSD which like so many people have said is linked with autism. Thanks for this video.
I wonder how many of us with both got misdiagnosed with bipolar or schizoaffective? I did. It took years for a psychiatrist to figure out i was misdiagnosed.
Man. That sucks.
I had that experience. I was nearly misdiagnosed with schizoaffective, but some things just weren't adding up.
Bangladeshi here who got diagnosed with Adhd and now figuring out that I pretty sure have autism, great work!
Thanks Bhaiya :)
Whoa! I'm 42 and just recently realised I might be both. All the points you made fit perfectly, but the decision part hit the most. I've been trying to decide on a wall colour for 5 years now but I decided to marry my husband after dating for some weeks and recently quit my job of almost 8 years within minutes.
😂 I'm exactly the same at 57. It doesn't get any better. We got engaged after 6 weeks and married 4 months later, 22 wonderful years. He's also neurodivergent (dyslexic) and I think it helps us to understand one another.
My walls are a neutral cream color because I cannot decide on colors/artwork…I decided to marry my husband after a month of knowing each other/dating, and we married 6mo later. We’re celebrating 17 years in January. 🤔😳
Oh yeah, I got engaged to my wife in less than a month after meeting her (20+ years later we're still married), I decided to take a year abroad in college within a week of finding out about it, all the big decisions are fast. I ruminate over buying the right t-shirt for months. It drives me crazy.
It’s amazing isn’t it 💓
A lot to unpack, especially all of the continual internal conflicts!
...among them, I never knew or thought of a difference between stimming and fidgeting before.
Oh my god, this is SO relatable. Thank you for sharing this!
I have to listen to pink noise or brown nose or the airplane sounds because I can't stand hearing the news channel in the background and it makes me angry and negative. Self- soothing is underrated. I totally understand the stress building up in your system when you can't stim. You are doing great for having both. I feel like I'm failing adulting.
I went off my Cymbalta for a few days (a nightmare, cuz the Dr's office was closed over the weekend) and I remembered how crazy my ADHD actually was (part of it was withdrawals though) I could not remain calm very long, my brain was going even faster, I took my vyvanse which helped but the Cymbalta not being in my system made my anxiety BAD, I usually take it at night so I can calm down and go to sleep and helps my brain make the serotonin 😅
This pretty much explains my whole life and my relationships with my daughter and mother.
Wonderful video! :) not enough people talk about this topic yet (especially in science), thank you for making this!
As an AUDHDer myself, please just re-consider these two wordings:
14:22 - it makes me look very girly, very ditzy and untintelligent
16:33 - be the best version of themselves despite their neurodivergence, despite the adhd.
On the first one: Visible typically autim-associated stims are often already considered a marker of less intelligence. It's so important to work against that misconception first of all but also the negative connontation we have on less intelligence in general. Some people are less intelligent (also intelligence is multifacetted and diverse) and that is ok, not something to be ashamed about. They are just as valuable, wonderful human beings as everyone else.
In your comment you make the association of girly and unintelligent without further comment, let's celebrate films like Legally Blonde to make away with that association too!
thanks for taking the time to write this.
I can relate and I was diagnosed with ADHD and autistic traits ( depression and anxiety)I was told that they could not diagnose me with autism but tell me if I had traits but the psychologist ( whom was male) said he thinks it is mild and that it is my anxiety that causes me to struggle with socializing..I masked a lot in life and their test is outdated based on males and not every autistic people are math and science geniuses and again the tests were based on males. Oh I like trains and horses lol but many other things as well 😅 there is a side of me that just loves children's stuff ( like Winnie the Pooh and other children's book characters, sesame Street, rugrats and I am 43. I also like coach purses lol .I also have many children at home My husband is also neurodivergent and also still likes children stuff) We also both have some learning disabilities. I did the test via zoom and it was 4 hours long and black and white and the question segment about my life was difficult for me because the questions were not specific enough. They also even said I don't do the stereotypical hand flapping but I do a lot of other stimming like hair twirling, dancing, singing, clapping my hands and putting all my fingers down on my hand like I am trying to create circulation.
I also love kids stuff! Whenever I need to switch my brain off, I watch kids movies or teen flicks. And Disney! just love it.
@@NeurodivergentMomMe too! It is like when I want to forgot about my responsibilities for a bit...I watch shows were they don't have any and the parents are clueless lol 😆😆
Oh gosh, I’m just a younger version of you!! I have the same symptoms as you!!! But for me I have Tourette’s Syndrome, extra sensitive to my hearing and sight and taste. I’m still not “officially” diagnosed but unofficially finally diagnosed. But I want it officially diagnosed. But in the same time I have selective mutism, so I need my phones to interact with people too. I love LOVE horses AND donkeys😍
I’m still in my journey to get my diagnosis, so I’m happy for you 🥹
@@KaylaLKwon ❤️Yes, I hope you the absolutely best for you! I too had selective mutism when younger and then had many children so my ADHD was once again enhanced with probably OCD. My children actually helped me to learn more about myself since they too are neurodivergent.Now that I am going through perimenopause I am having trouble with masking. Which is ok to a degree because it is exhausting. I believe I also have dysgraphia, hyperlexia and dyscalculia. I am glad you know this younger when I was younger I knew I was somehow different but didn't have the language to express it. I struggled with self esteem yet was confident it that makes sense I think it was the neurological world and people reactions to my difference bringing me down causing me anxiety and depression and effecting my confidence.. We tend to also get PTSD due to this.
My interests kinda feel like a carousel. The majority of them are relatively permanent, but my brain jumps between them, choosing which one to focus on depending on what I'm feeling at the time. I'll usually always come back around to being really interested in most of them, though.
This is me! 🤯
In school I used to have so many stims & fidgets. I used to do the leg twist thing, and chewing & playing with my hair, tapping, knee jiggling.
Now I don't have enough stims & I am so stressed all the time. I need to find some stims that work for me now
Also the other things: so many contradictions and internal conflicts.
I’m adhd and I had an autism assessment last week, I literally know with everything I am that I am Audhd but the psychiatrist refused to assess me past a couple of questions because “I’m not like any of the other autistic individuals he’s worked with before” so therefore he says I’m not autistic. So weird. I don’t understand US healthcare. If I want an actual autism assessment with people who work solely with autistic/audhders I literally need to pay thousands of dollars….
Women face this problem a lot. We are so highly masked and maybe these assessors are trained to look for typical male expressions of autism. It’s unfair in a way. Or simply unaware. I don’t know. Self diagnosis and self identification of being autistic is also super empowering
is it possible for it to be the other way around-? as in autism ‘hiding’ the adhd?
i’m a girl and was diagnosed with autism around 15 i think. pretty much my whole life i had been treated for anxiety off and on (there was a point also where i was suspected to have ocd, unsure if i would still qualify for diagnosis)
when i finally realized “oh, this isn’t just anxiety” and learned more abt autism it was kind of an epiphany because of how much i related. but now i feel like there’s a chance i’m still missing something. i experience the internal conflict you talk about a LOT. most people think i’m reserved and quiet so when i am more loud/extroverted they are surprised. i used to identify as an introvert, and i definitely do need my alone time, but around the right people i do feel like an extrovert in the sense of gaining energy from socializing. so now i consider myself an ambivert but i don’t feel like it’s in the way most people think?? idk i’m kinda rambling atp 😭 but yeah uh. might be worth mentioning i also struggle with depression- i think part of it is caused by being autistic but i definitely experience seasonal affective as well. maybe i need to revisit talking with a psychologist/therapist but i haven’t found it very helpful so 🫤
I'm no expert, but I believe it can go both ways and even vary within the same person. Probably depending on the environment and what is happening in your life etc. Also, I don't know if they are still using ADD diagnosis, but take that into consideration as well, if you feel that there's ADHD "hidden" somewhere inside of you.
Amazing video! Am 31 finally getting assessed/diagnosed with ADHD but also now pretty sure I’m AuDHD just my ADHD side has always overshadowed the autism in public but I’ve always felt the energy drain after social things even though I was the high energy talkative, loud party guy.
I’ve got two daughters now and am just trying to be a good dad.
Loved your video new subscriber
So glad to have found your channel! Thank you for posting this. Also that lipstick color is so beautiful!! Doesn’t it feel so satisfying to find the perfect red for your face? ❤❤❤
I had always attributed my ADHD symptoms to autism because no one really knew you could have both until recent years. But you're right, I'm always fighting my need for sameness and routine with the urge to experience something new. For me that has a lot of different ways that it looks like:
- Constantly having the urge to do something else, but not being able to stop whatever I'm currently doing (I'm doing this right now).
- Feeling excited about doing something fun or interesting later, but not being able to do it when the time actually comes because of the stress of changing the routine.
- Liking the idea of doing something new in theory, but feeling stressed out and discouraged when I actually do it in practice.
- Needing to do the same exercise routine every time I go to the gym, but getting bored of the routine and changing it every 2 months.
- Never feeling quite satisfied with my current group of friends, but finding it really stressful to meet new people.
- Wanting to do something with my friends or family, but never wanting to do the thing they suggest.
- Trying to define myself as a certain kind of person (my "aesthetic of the week"), but never being able to stick to any self-concept consistently.
- Constantly comparing my current life situation to a more exciting (and unrealistic) version of what life could be like- if only I wasn't trapped by my routines and need for consistency.
haha me and my husband met on a craigslist rideshare ad 12 plus years ago. Not sure how we are together still. Your video is really spot on. Way to go team...
I definitely need a helper especially if it come to something technical, I used to be really embarrassed and not ask, now the anxiety of failure supersedes the shame. I am working on breath and self awareness and using tools.
Wow, this video is exactly what I was looking for.
It’s extra exhausting
If i don't fit in either autism or ADHD maybe a new class is needed ! We need more research!
This video is popping! You're doing well Ritu!
I have been diagnosed with adhd & I feel this way, I just figured maybe this rollercoaster ride of emotions meant I was a little bi-polar lol.
Omg, thats why my drawing got really good for a bit, I drew this one good picture, and then I can never duplicate it.
Congratulations on being able to be a parent too. I chose not to do so and I have both Autism and Combined ADHD with complex mathematics disabilities as well
Thank you for your video! I still find it hard to see the difference with ‘only’ adhd because everything you tell, is also applicable to adhd 🧐
What type of therapy or behavioural help or coaching can help with this?
Couldn’t relate more to the part about getting obsessive but then not following through.. and just.. KNOWING so clearly what needs to be done. I’ve been exploring PDA and would really use some guidance.
Diagnosed a kid with Asperger's when that's what it was called. Not sure if this fidget vs stim. I have stims but then there is when I just have to jump out of my chair and go for walk, do pushups, or something physical. Definitely feel at war in my brain. I create routines as like routines but don't follow my routines. If did follow my routine I'd be on time more often but can't seem to do it for example.
true thanks, i feel much better after that, i can relate so much
Until 2013 this explains it. They called my ADHD the verient type. This totally explains what's going on and now I'm not surprised many of us older people were almost misdiagnosed as Bipolar. The highly social and then the crash antisocial.
OMG this is so true, I took 7 years to agree to think about changing my utility company but decided overnight to move to australia. Haha. And again to move back to the UK.
Hehe I also decided to move back home from Australia overnight
I related so much to this video. I am late diagnosed autistic but gave wondered if Im ADHD too and i truly connected to these signs.
I love the acknowledgment and understanding we can only get from the lived experience that we share You articulated so well by including the little personal stories Now I have one question only another AUDHR would get WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN THEY STOP MAKING THAT CONCEALER??!!?🙃🙃 they discontinued my mascara back in 2011
I'm still not over it😫😫 nobody understands....nothings the same.....😂 it's really NOT funny though
I still mourn every time I do my makeup! Any advice❣️
Is this a sign of having both? I can't do anything when I have free time alone. For example, I want to play video games, but I can't focus. Something feels wrong. Then I try something else, but the same thing happens over and over again. So I can't do anything in my free time. I feel nothing but anxiety. I regret doing nothing."
Haha, I do the same thing about twirling my hair to stim and somehow I never made the connection that the short hair and long hair versions were like alternatives to each other based on the hair I have at the time.
My life in this video.
Under the covers - yes!!! And my personality is very much like yours!!! Thank you!!!
The body cravings are what tipped me off to being more neurodivergent than most ADHDers. Even on a good day, I have the physical craving for a hug or to be contained in some way. I have been called clingy because I want that physical attention. But I do need my own space and hope that my friends have their own hobbies and their own lives.
I created a space for started and unfinished projects. Set your living space up for your own individual success! 😆🙌🏼 Now I have a spot that can hold all of the large projects that need space; so I can have a desk and dining room table. Room function is important.
Oh my gosh…… you have just explained how I am
so basically just being an INTP qualifies me as AUDHD
I think mankind has forgotten how to "behave" & of course our peers, govenors tell us how to behave. My in-law wont look at our grandsons pictures, because, that's what girls do and coo over the cuteness of the child. This is a distinct lack in a man. Yet our grandson has other men not related, his dad's age, treating him like close family. These are men. Twirling your hair makes you You. Boys find comfort in it too. It doesn't take away from intelligence and probably is very much related to your childhood.
ADHD is said to be a disorder. It's a label for people who are different, diverse, may have diifficulty fitting in with the "Norm." What is normal by the way? We seem to be happy with labels (or tge person who puts the label on you) but the label stops us asking questions. I have a 30+ year diagnosis of a syndrome when now it seems I actually have a med induced anaemia.
I'm not saying ADHD is total nonsense and we shouldn't make allowances. But it's not the end of moving forward. We need diverse people. We need to understand ourselves and others and work together.
This is so interesting. ❤ i definitely have ADD. This sounds like me. Fascinating. My fiance gets upset with me somrtimes with some of thr 5 signs.
My hyper focus has been wigs and taught myself wit help of youtube creators how ti do my nails from home! Its been since like 2020. Im over it now and need to find something else.❤ obsess over certain foods and dont eat enough. 😢
No way! You twirl your hair?! Ive done it since i was 4 but i rip mine ojt and i have to twirl. Holy crap.
She starts the list at 3:10
I’m 61 and not yet diagnosed but strongly suspect I’m both. I also twirl my hair and fidget at the same time. The last few years I’ve twirled my hair so much that the ends break off and I haven’t needed a haircut for about 10 years!
The inner conflict and self esteem can improve a lot with therapy
Wow I feel like you are talking about me too
What does it feel like? Exhausting. Have you lived your life thinking how anyone could enjoy this life because life has just been suffering for you, especially anything to do with other humans, you may be autistic and or ADHD.
Restless legs syndrome is not the same as stimshaking the leg. I do have both things going on and I can tell you, restless legs is a real pain in the ass cause it has a real uncomfortable feeling inside of the legs. While stimshaking is done by my preferred one leg cause it makes me more stable I think.
I always had this conflict in me between being spontaneous and following my routines. It resulted in indecision at every level. I have not being diagnosed professionally for either, but I have done 2.5 years of research to reach 90% certainty that I’m autistic. My father most likely has ADHD, so it’s not a far reach to say I have both.
Is it my ADHD, autism, or both that find your transitions and jump cuts hard to watch? Great info! I just can’t handle the edit.
I take This as valuable feedback and will try out some different editing styles
Maybe the autism makes the fast speed of the cuts unpleasant, I don’t know but my autistic side might feel that way
Yeah...I definitely have AuDHD. (I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 40's)
It feels like paradox.
I'm diagnosed autistic, but suspect I may also be ADHD. I sometimes wonder if autism can hide ADHD?
It wasn’t until I started taking ADHD meds that a therapist suggested that I probably am autistic as well; apparently either condition can help mask the other.
This sounds like a split in consciousness from trauma. This calls for shadow integration, communicating to both sides and having those opposing opposites communicate to each other until they come into understanding and coherence.
I always curious to find the spiritual meaning behind everything but so far haven’t found a connection to autism and spirituality. Please share more about what you mean here and any other connection to autism and adhd from a spiritual perspective. ADHD and trauma connection has been studied and researched but autism not so much.
Ohhh…that’s why I do that eagle pose with twisted legs and obsessing over scalp with Psor. So I mgiht have autistim too 🥴🫤
So true I have ADHD and autism
So relate 💞👊
ADD, Autism, Borderline but mostly very normal
Restless leg syndrome is its own neurological disorder. It isn’t fidgeting.
22-80% is wild as a statistic.
Omg this really fits like a globe
I didn't get the Autism diagnosis, because my ADHD hid my Autism beautifully. I myself only realised 2 years ago I had Autism while I had been aware of my ADHD for years. I'm in the UK and they used the DSM 5, which I found very strange. I was seen by a very neurotypical male doctor, so I closed down immediately and masked like a pro. I had no control over it. And I didn't get the diagnosis and has been devastated since. I know I'm autistic and it feels like a part of my authentic self has been denied to me by some idiot who saw me via a camera for 50 minutes. Feels like they don't really care at all. Just ticking off boxes. Anyone has any advice? I haven't been leaving the house since the call been having insomnia and can't eat. A psychiatrist literally caused me my latest trauma. What do I do?