My family were in this exact position with my brother. He’s autistic and non verbal. He was very violent and would break things constantly. We tried everything we could until eventually he had to go to a home under the care of MENCAP. He’s doing exceedingly well there because they know how to manage his needs properly. This is the other side of autism that gets so rarely talked about because people are too caught up in a romanticised version of what autism is. This is a very real situation a lot of families are having to deal with and my heart goes out to every single one of them
Jesus is the way the truth and the life. No one can go to the Father except through him.❤️ Knowing Jesus is knowing peace, protection and provision ❤️ Jesus saves, Jesus heals, Jesus grants peace and Jesus loves you.
@@pontiacman78Because some christians feel good about themselves when they talk about their religion to others in need of help, it's much easier to send a generic “Jesus loves you” message that's so vague it could apply to a million situations than offering actual help, or support, or to even show some understanding for their situation. Also probably because the original commenter has “lovecraft” in their ussername and goth makeup, and the person you are responding to probably associated that with witchcraft, wich goes against christianism, in wich case the Jesus comment is actually an attempt to make them change into christianism as a way to help their situation (wich is kinda yucky if you ask me, to assume someone is struggling in life because of their lack of faith when you don't really know anything about them, and to use that reasoning as bait so they join your religion...)
I’m so happy to hear that. My 20 year old nephew who is severely autistic. Have done things harmful towards people even towards me. He have hit me more then a couple of times. Split on me twice. He threw an iPod at me 3-4 days ago. 14 months ago he tried to throw an electronic book at me.
@untitle161 Sorry to hear that. My Brother also has a mild form of Cerberal Palsy, so his walking looks abit unsteady, and he has to sign to communicate. He was born 3mths early, and only 2lbs 0oz, which is the cause for his issues. But, he was never really violent towards others, like your Nephew. If he became frustrated, or angry, he would hit himself, or hit his head against things. How old is your Nephew? If he is young, I hope he grows out of it, or they find something that helps him. It makes me sad sometimes, because I can still see the frustration on Brothers face, when ppl don't understand what he is trying to say.
@@Commissioner62 , thank you! Oh your brother also has cerebral palsy. He was born 3 months early. My nephew, his mother( my sister) was born like 2 months early. She was in AP classes in high school. Well her son(my nephew), he’s 20 years old. When he was younger, we hope that he will get better. He hasn’t. He doesn’t talk. He gets speech therapy and goes to a private school for special needs students. I feel for his parents because his severely autism makes them sad and have frustration moment. They love him and wish he wouldn’t be violent. But he is. My sister and her husband they are stuck in a lifestyle of watching him. They and along with their son, the 3 of them all can’t go to relatives gathering. Because the way he does harmful/violent things. So they are trapped with him. Whenever we have a relative gathering, only my sister can go. Her husband must be home with him. Whenever my sister husband goes to his relative gathering, my sister has to be home with their son.
@untitle161 That is sad. My Mother raised him mostly by herself, with the help of my Aunt, for a majority of those early years, still having episodes. He started to get too strong for them, and almost ended up in a home, but that's around the time he got put on meds that actually helped. Today he goes to a daytime, work program, so adults like him can be around oneanother, and keep their time occupied. They get paid for it, so he is not just sitting at home. But had they not found the proper meds, I doubt he could be in this program he actually loves. He even has a "girlfriend" who has Downs Syndrome. It's cute. I really hope they can find something that helps your Nephew, because their episodes can get extremely physical, and more dangerous as they get stronger. Some eventually grow out of it, some need certain meds, some need a Behavioral Professional, but usually it ends up as a combination of 2 or all.
As a mother to a 5 year old son with severe non verbal autism, I cannot watch this. Not because I don’t know this is a possibility and want to pretend it isn’t, but because my mind is CONSTANTLY thinking about things like this. I will watch this and stay awake in bed at night, crying with anxiety. My sweet sweet boy. I pray I’m able to be enough. ❤
just stop it before it starts thats what my family did my brother would punch and kick my parents it lasted for 1 week and my dad punished him as he would us other kids its the best thing dad ever did my brother now will not be violent because he know he can not get away with it he deals with things in other ways now .....STOP IT BEFOR IT START YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND SOMETIMES .if you want it to get to a point where you cant look after him just let him do what he wants and just keep talking to him saying please dont do that see how that works out you
@@biggzygaming2115 I don't assume. I know your brother isn't. Get back to gaming. My son is 26 Non-Verbal Autistic. Been violent for 4 years now. Don't you think all your little suggestions weren't tried in the first few months????
one day its going to go horrible for you, one day you will get hurt and no longer cope, you should prepare yourself mentally and get support early to minimise impact on you while supporting him, maybe he will stay at home with you with the right support but dont be a bad parent and leave it until its too late and you have no choice but to kick him out
@@guitarman813kinda like you have a different condition. I understand it's a spectrum but mental illness is not understood yet. May never fully be understood atleast in our life time. Because these people could never have a car or even wipe there ass. I think you have something different.
If they're such amazing parents, then why do they talk about their son like he's a diseased freak? The words they use to describe autism as "severe", "debilitating" or "profound" as if it's a cancer, autistic people hear all the time. I've been called "severely autistic" for having comorbidities, or "profoundly autistic" for being unable to speak in stressful situations, and it's led to rejection and ostracization, and of course, the ever high rate of considering "self deletion".
just stop it before it starts thats what my family did my brother would punch and kick my parents it lasted for 1 week and my dad punished him as he would us other kids its the best thing dad ever did my brother now will not be violent because he know he can not get away with it he deals with things in other ways now .....STOP IT BEFOR IT START YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND SOMETIMES .if you want it to get to a point where you cant look after him just let him do what he wants and just keep talking to him saying please dont do that see how that works out you
@Spectre-69 Those words arent insulting. They just are words used to describe how affected someone is by a condition. And how dare you use the word "cancer" like its an insult. If you dont like the words "severe autism" how do you think people with cancer feel having you say "as if its a cancer"? No one makes the choice to be born or affected by any condition. Some people are more affected by conditions than others. Thats not bad or good. It just is.
I see these autistic kids growing up and are big strong men. Sometimes they need more care then just a mother or father, they need to start creating places for the adult autistic people where they can live and be safe with all around care and safety.
We had them then activists pretended it was meeeeean to get them support. Now they roam the streets or get put up in an apartment next to unsuspecting hard working families.
I had the same feeling as a fellow autistic person! I am so grateful for him that he has such a loving and understanding family! It made me tear up the whole time watching this video. /gen
I work in the social care sector and firmly believe that families cannot sustain this level of abuse in the home. It needs a team of people to support his needs.
@@9395gbthis isn't anything to do with a lack of discipline! It's mental health, my son didn't start being violent like this until he was 15, taller and stronger than me, leaving me completely powerless. Honestly your insensitivity and ignorance is gross.
I was a care taker of Special Needs Adults for 7 years before I got burned out. I can't even begin to imagine being a parent raising one. I love this video because it shows all sides of individuals, where as media typically just shows Down Syndrome individuals as a representation for all and don't speak about dark times. I had a couple individuals like Steven and I was constantly ridden with anxiety every time I'd take them out in Public or they start to act out in the home, but you can't show that anxiety and have to put a mask on and handle the situation. I'm so happy that Steven is in a good, supportive environment that is helping him maintain stability and happiness!
just stop it before it starts thats what my family did my brother would punch and kick my parents it lasted for 1 week and my dad punished him as he would us other kids its the best thing dad ever did my brother now will not be violent because he know he can not get away with it he deals with things in other ways now .....STOP IT BEFOR IT START YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND SOMETIMES .if you want it to get to a point where you cant look after him just let him do what he wants and just keep talking to him saying please dont do that see how that works out you
My son too did this. Head banging walls, slapping me, biting my arm... He was put in a group home at 20 and they have found different ways to stop him. Being a single mum, and he was so big, his little brother was suicidal and the only thing to calm him was dissolved valium. When I suffered a mini stroke from high blood pressure and he had just had his 3rd hip operation, I fell apart. I fully understand this family's anxiety. These homes are terrific! Wonderful carers. We visit, meet for lunch and have nice times. We're in Australia and he has ndis as do I now as I have early onset vascular dementia now. He is 35 now but is about 5 mentally with a big permanent lump on his forehead. Plz do not feel guilty when considering care, they are much better off with a busy lifestyle.
His parents made the right decision even though I cannot imagine the heartache of it. He is now living in a place where staff are specially trained to meet his needs.
they are actually lucky he over 18, if you try to get your child placed before 18 they will charge you with felony child endangerment and abandonment as part of the process of transferring custody to the state. im not kidding, they will make you a criminal for trying to get help.
@@robmullin1128 Years ago lads with difficulties like that would get a manual job which would need strenght. And would use up a lot of energy and would rest at home no bother in the evening.
This was the first thing I thought of when they mentioned the total behavioural and psychological changes after being ill. Especially since he met all of his milestones up until that point.
I was diagnosed with Asperger’s as an adult. I remember about 3-4 years old, I got bad tonsillitis. I used to eat vegetables, eggs, but I became very picky with food. Then when I had my tonsils out, I stopped talking for a few weeks. I developed sensitivity to itchy clothes and smells. I got obsessed with astronomy, which resulted in bullying in school. So it's interesting, I know about PANDAS so wonder if a bacterial infection might be a cause. Also, around the same time I got hay-fever, so there's probably an autoimmune component. There is a genetic influence too. My nephew is autistic and my cousins on both sides of my family have children on the autism spectrum, about 3 or 4 children (10% are on the spectrum) Also, the same or similar bacteria also causes scarlet fever, which can result in a neurological condition called Sydenham's corea, OCD and movement disorder. The American artist, Andy Warhol, had scarlet fever and Sydenham corea as a child, his repetitive art might be related.
I am dx'd autistic but i am never violent. I had german measles as a baby and i have a genetic disorder called DEE that caused my autism. Its fascinating how these things seems to overlap some
He is such a big young man... he seems trapped inside himself. Being fearful or upset about it seems like a very human response. As a momma, my heart aches 💔 for him and his family.
A great majority of my family is autistic, including myself. But none of us have an intellectual disability. The combination of autism and intellectual disability is extremely difficult once the children grow up. Autism on it's own is a frustrating life, I can't imagine trying to deal with adult children with these two comorbidities. I wish this family all the best.
@ No, ASD is a neurological disorder, our brains are wired differently. But many with autism (ie level 1 / Asperger’s) do not have intellectual disabilities and have average to high IQs. For example, Anthony Hopkins, Daryl Hannah, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Dr. Temple Grandin, Mark Zuckerberg. Intellectual disability is another diagnosis and can be a comorbidity in ASD. Another common comorbidity is epilepsy.
Omg. I thought I was alone. I cannot let anyone see my house because of the broken doors and walls. 😢 thank you for letting me know I am not alone. Single mom w 2 autistic sons.
Im coming at this with little personal experience of living at home with autistics, but sounds like from the severity of destruction of property that you describe, please get yourself to a place of safety asap, whether it be home removal for the boys, etc. You don't want to be what they destroy when you just happen to be closer than a wall. It's so scary - my mother has an incredible heart for people with mental disabilities and was a paraeducator for some time when I was an elementary school student. Watching her come home with bruises, scratch marks, bite marks, etc scared me as a kid. Especially if there are other kids at home, for their sake, and also for your sake, please get some measures in place to protect yourself and all of your loved ones, including your sons - protecting them from themselves is still protection.
@@call_megumiI feel this. I grew up with a sibling that would literally kick through doors when she got to teenage hood. Landed most of my family in the hospital at various times. It’s so sad the aren’t more resources for working class people. As a personal plea: please protect any other children that you have! I still deal with the trauma and do not speak to my parents because they allowed me to be constantly abused by my sibling. Yes, even if it means the criminal justice system. You all deserve to feel safe in your own home, but it’s especially important during development.
The fact that he has a 3:1 supervision ratio is wild. It's hard enough to provide 1:1 supervision nowadays (in the usa). Lack of funding. Terrible wages and retention rates.
As a 21 yo autistic man, this brings back times when I would get extremely violent with my parents and just being disrespectful. It got to the point where the cops were called on me. Looking back I don’t blame them at all for doing so and was well deserved. I eventually made a friend at work who would change me into someone who’s independent but I do think about those times a lot and I regret everything so much and hate myself so much for it
Dont hate yourself baby and i promise you your parents feel no hate towards you you've grown and worked it out what a beautiful thing to do and as a neurospicy myself I can say I have seen more of us grow and change than neuro typicals
You can't change what happened man; but at least you learned, grew, and are sorry. A lot of people don't (or sometimes can't) reflect on their actions.
@@marinanieto7670 not necessarly the diagnosis We are 2024 and one of my sibling was diagnose last year and the mom told the Drs many times he was sleeping late never before 11pm, he was always running like an hyperactive, he would not look into the eyes, he had spécial interests also like older kids but Drs never said he might be and we learn it all last year about he was Asberger (which this too is not called Asberger anymore, but high IQ kid well now adult!) There is a lack of help but also a big lack of knowledge about it from Drs too. Even this, they are not specialized on Autism so its hard on any kids and parents and as its not a disease its not something you can heal either Tough for sure
The place that he's at now is amazing and gives him boundaries. His carer is a big dude so can restrain him easily whilst it was harder for elder parents .especially his mum . It was a beautiful scene watching mum reading to him .she's so patient. Made me so tearful when he threw a fit screaming at her .
Autistics should not be restrained at all, and if his caregiver is restraining him then that’s probably what’s contributing to a lot of his aggression in the first place.
this is misleading, he wasnt arrested, he was involuntarily committed and sometimes the persons cuffed by the police for that to happen unfortunately (it shouldnt be that way but it is for now)
Sadly sometimes the police have to become involved to work alongside the paramedics if the person being involuntarily taken to a mental health facility is a threat to themselves or others. Also, in regards to the mental health facility stating that they could not guarantee Steven's safety- having worked in several mental health inpatient wards, I imagine that considering Steven's episodes of shouting and hitting the staff cannot predict the reaction of other patients to Steven's behaviour, or how he might be triggered by the behaviour of other patients himself.
It’s heartbreaking that there often times aren’t a lot of resources for people like Steven’s parents when their kids start to outgrow them and are capable of hurting them. A teacher in the US was just beaten within inches of her life, because a woman refused to put her autistic son who had violent meltdowns in a special school. She’s claiming she did everything right and it was the school who effed up. There’s multiple instances of him being violent with other teachers, students, and his mother. Mom says he doesn’t know what he was doing, but when they dragged him off his teacher he tried to get back to her and said he was going to “unalive her” all because she told him it was time to stop playing a game in his iPad and start doing the work on his iPad. Just because someone might be stunted and be have the mental capability of a young kid doesn’t mean they aren’t dangerous…
It also doesn’t mean they don’t need discipline. I see so many children with disabilities that are just allowed to do whatever they want and it’s shocking to me!!
This is so true. There was a kid in my 5th grade class who was like this and the staff would try to give him time to interact with us to help him build social skills. He was a few years older than us because he was held back a few grades to help him socially. One time they let him in the classroom with us and there was a teacher with him the whole time. The kid came up to me and pulled out his pen*s and started humping me. I had already gone through SA growing up and when this happened to me in front of my whole class it retraumatized me so much. Thankfully the teacher immediately pulled the kid off me and the teachers tried to pull me aside to see if I was ok. But all I remember is feeling so ashamed and embarrassed and disturbed. I refused to talk to anyone and just put up a wall and flat out ignored what happened. The kid continued to masterb*te each time he saw me in the hallway or class. They had to keep him separated from me and the other students and eventually sent him to another school soon after. Kids like this can't be in the general public. It's just not safe for anyone.
It wasn't an IPad, it was a Nintendo switch. Mom is claiming people are racist against her son because he's black. You can see on the surveillance video how much bigger he in than the teacher. You also see a student walking past and not stopping to help
An autistic person saying they will kill someone definitely knows what they mean, though some who are not and strong could accidentally kill an elderly parent specially during a violent outburtst without meaning to.
Having a disability is not an excuse to get away with murder (in this case almost literally) if they know the rules & what they’re expected to do, even within the limits of their disability then they KNOW when they've done wrong. I had to look after a 4 year old at a daycare I worked at who was autistic and if you had to remove him from a dangerous situation such as grabbing a fire extinguisher or trying to open doors to outside (which he was a notorious flight risk for) he did everything from pulling hair to scratching, hitting & BITING & was he ever disciplined when he did these things? Nope - he just threw a tantrum & was comforted after with a hug 🤦♀ I may have been forced to abide by my workplace's rules but I would not raise ANY kid of mine so slackly. I also didn't just take his abuse (cos that's what it WAS, age be damned!) I stopped him if he dared try any of that on me & even if another carer hugged him afterwards when he threw a tantrum, I never did (unless he hurt himself while playing). And I say all this as someone on the spectrum myself - because my mum (who has flaws like all parents) even after I was diagnosed, ALWAYS made sure I knew the boundaries she set & I knew them by the time I was the same age as the autistic daycare kid I looked after. Of course every autistic kid is different but many are still capable of learning & discipline & even for those who have trouble in this regard like Steven, should still have precautions set in place for their carers to ensure BOTH parties safety.
This is scary. These children are not easy to handle. Nobody blames you no matter what you do . I don't think I could handle it. I had a son who became dangerous. I could not deal with it alone. His father only made matters worse. We no longer talk. Due to the danger of dealing with it. Sad but God knows the truth.
Where are you getting your information on PANDAS? I've not seen an awful lot of reliable sources for it being a genuine phenomenon. It could just be that it needs more studying, but it's likely PANDAS wasn't considered as it's not a proper diagnosis at this point in time
Thank you for sharing your story. You are an incredibly brave family. I taught special education and one of my students would have violent outbursts towards himself and staff. It was so difficult to get management to provide appropriate resources. I'm hope that by brave people like yourselves sharing their stories that appropriate resources and funding become available. I was absolutely traumatised by my experience and I am no longer able to teach which is a terrible waste. People who haven't experienced just have no idea.
Oh, I understand and work with special Ed students. I've witnessed students destroy the classroom, turn over tables and throw chairs. Also, I was almost physically attacked by a student and had to run and call for help. I'm at a point where I don't want to work in this capacity due to safety concerns of not only myself but other students, who may be attacked by violent students. There's not much that can be done to stop it because some of the students have extreme behavioral issues. Positive and negative reinforcements only work for a limited time and the behaviors manifest. Also, suspension doesn't always work. When students return after suspension, the violent behaviors start shortly afterwards. It's not safe for educators, especially when there aren't resource officers to restrain violent students. At my school, resource officers aren't allowed due to the traumatizing effects that it has on students. Teachers are given training on how to restrain violent students. However, restraints can be a challenge for female staff when trying to restrain male teenagers and adolescents, who are much stronger than they are.
@dontbelongherefromanother resource officer is just a nicer word for security gaurd that can restrain someone . Sadly, many of these schools/resource officers have abused their power and done horrible things
@dontbelongherefromanother I was the special Ed kid that would always have a pokemon book with me and and just tell everyone what pokemon they are and just never stop talking. I only had a small class we didn't have anything crazy happen so I am shocked and surprised reading it.
@@vickythefist7062 I get that, but teachers shouldn't be placed in a position to restrain violent students. This is a safety concern, and teachers aren't paid to take on an additional role as a security guard or police.
I was a special education teacher for 34 years but couldn't take it any more. I retired and now volunteer in a kindergarten class every day. So fun and rewarding!
I Was diagnosed with PANDAS and Autism as a child. I had very similar outbursts to his. I was often in a uncontrollable state of anger. My body and limbs would be out of my control. I often hit myself and other objects around the house. My mom had to reinforce my door and windows in my room. When I was ten years old I had a outburst in public and was arrested. The state hand mandated that I was to be put into the psych ward for a year. It was a very traumatic experience for me and I still have nightmares of going back. As I got older now outbursts have stopped. But now instead of having outbursts when I’m stressed. I often have seizures instead. The seizures are definitely better than having outbursts tough. I hope this boy can recover from this disease. I couldn’t even imagine how hard it is to have this disease as an adult.
This is the same as I went through with my son, every door in my house has holes punched through them, furniture has been damaged, my kids toys a possessions got damaged, he smashed pretty much every phone or tablet that was bought for him. The final straw for us is went he threatened his dad with a knife, we had have him moved elsewhere, it broke my heart, and situations like this are complex due to their special needs, but it's good to know I'm not alone and others have gone through the same.
A family friend of my aunts married a woman whose daughter was just like this. It is very heartbreaking for him and he truly loves her. She is much better now.
Strong incredible parents who love their children and did not give up on their son. I’m also glad they took the dog’s feelings into account. Animals feel when something is wrong and they too can become traumatized. This was such an inspiring story and I hope the best for this amazing family.
Well never have children then. Even if your child comes out without any disabilities then you still can’t have a kid since you revealed you have mental issues. Tho I hope you do heal ❤
@@kymiz_ I mean..people with mental issues can have kids and be wonderful parents..but indeed for some it’s just too overwhelming with everything else goin on. Thanks for the kind words.
I don’t think the average person realizes the “spectrum” that families experience. They see an actor playing an Asperger person, or a high functioning Down’s syndrome actor, and think they understand. I had a work experience on a locked medical/mental ward specifically for extremely violent(murder/arson/etc) young teens/adults with developmental disabilities and TBI. It was full with a huge waiting list. The home based violent developmentally disabled locations are really a mixed bag in US. There is such a ludicrous attempt to have the ‘normal’ facade, that a TV will be replaced every week vs putting it behind a barrier, the walls end up looking like the first home, and neighbors have to put up with the screaming. Residents and staff aren’t safe, but looks like your average suburban home…Then they wonder why there’s a worker shortage! The way we take care of ALL vulnerable people needs to be re-examined. Take a deep breath. Stop trying to make everyone fit into one little mold, but BALANCE what works to keep everyone safe and healthy. They released the mentally ill to die on the streets, and it’s estimated 30% -40% of homeless have a cognitive impairment. I have a friend who’s siblings are separated by only a very few IQ points. This resulted in one living in a 4 bedroom house with 4 roommates, 24 hour staff, meals, medical care and programmed entertainment throughout the day. The other was ‘allowed’ to be homeless and no one has heard from them in a few years now…
I agree. I wish they could have reformed and improved the mental hospitals instead of closing them down and releasing people to the streets or putting them in group homes where the violent ones beat the day lights out of the staff, roommates and neighbors and constantly breaking things. I saw and experienced it countless times in the 1990s through 2018 when I stopped working in that job. There was a fare share of the profoundly mentally disabled ones, who were on the sex offender list against children, due to a lack of proper training, teaching, and supervision. Dont get me wrong, Im not saying that all profoundly mentally disabled people are sex offenders, Im just saying that some were, but most of them were NOT. Thankfully, most of them were like everyone else and just wanted to be happy, but sadly, many lacked the skills to deal with their emotions and life, which is where the training and experiencing life helps.
The main question is how could it possibly work? How can you make it so the violent ones can be safe and cared for without the staff being assaulted? How do we make it so they can better control themselves? I saw one documentary were the mum sadly is at the end of her rope as her son has meltdowns and is violent, she use to hold him down because he would punch himself but he is too strong for that and will head butt her or bite her face. She now sticks boxing gloves on him to stop him beating himself because he would do it until he was bleeding. How can men like him be helped and taught not to injure themselves. Medication is a mixed bag some do help but some others do nothing or make the situation worse.
As an autistic person, I don't want to be demonised by 'bad apples' because disabled people already have a difficult time and it's bad enough trying to get fair representation where you are treated like a capable, autonomous human being.
@@jamesalexander8193Proper staff to patient ratio, facility planning and layout, equipment, training, shift length (and proper compensation and leave times/rotation), medication and safe "seclusion" rooms all work together to ensure safety of both staff (who are in difficult position physically and mentally) and clients. Unfortunately it's all really, really expensive.
Real people with aspergers have much more complicated color than any one dimensional hollywood bazinga sheldon or praised introvert doctor with "super powers" art imitates life just like you all said
On 11/11/97 my Gf an I had our son..she was 16..i was 17.. we are now married with 3 girls.. Our son will be 28 this November. We went through all this. Our son has been many different people. From a loving kind child to a quite withdrawin teen an a aggressive self harming adult. We had to change his diet, his activities and our way of dealing with the meltdowns. Its very hard sometimes but we trust one another in his care and glad to say his meltdowns are far an in-between. My heart goes out to your family an Steven and ill keep you and families like you in my prayers.. We're a Native American family and we see your love and this story has touched us and many like yours. Keep love going no matter what and Creator or whatever you believe will bless you.
To the parents. I hope you see this comment. I was born with moderate cerebral palsy. I had an abusive caregiver and then grew up in residential programs and group homes You’re a loving mother and it shows. Please have peace internally. You didn’t right thing for your beautiful son. He’s a very special person and I know you love him so loud and immensely I wish I had parents like you. Bless you and your family. ❤
What a heartbreaking decision this family had to make ❤ you can tell they are still heartbroken about it. You had to make the best decision for both your son and your family
I have suffered with physical disability and after 20 years of continuous pain, serious mental health issues. I've considered suicide a lot but the moment I would lose control and attack my loved ones will be the last day on earth.
I've felt this way too-I am chronically ill and often feel like caring for me causes pain to those around me. But I've also been on the other side-I'd guess losing you entirely would hurt them so deeply, perhaps even more than the pain of being hurt any other way. I'm so glad you're still here 💖
I’m so scared that my 4 year old autistic daughter will regress or change out of nowhere and stop being the energetic, happy, affectionate girl I know. I can’t imagine anything more heartbreaking and terrifying than waking up one day to find a different person in place of your beloved child…
Ive been the victim of autistic violence. 10 years in therapy. The pain in my face and back remains present to this day, 24 years later. Its uncomfortable to hear about violent disabled people because our media is full of feel good cute disabled stories.
Firstly, I want to sympathise with you regarding your battle. It must have been extremely traumatising and to still live with the pain so many years later. I'm truly sorry. I agree, autism became fashionable since they named it a spectrum. I get there are levels of autism, same with any other mental health illness. I recently listened to a biographer who shadowed Elon Musk, who was diagnosed with Asperges (when it still was named it). He said that Elon has a huge turnover of employees because of his aggression. Elon's ex called it "demon mode." He said they never knew when Elon would have outbursts. He can't handle stress like a normal person. He becomes frustrated and then aggressive, typical autism. The media and especially social media, must stop romanticising the illness. These are people who have brain damage in various degrees.
just stop it before it starts thats what my family did my brother would punch and kick my parents it lasted for 1 week and my dad punished him as he would us other kids its the best thing dad ever did my brother now will not be violent because he know he can not get away with it he deals with things in other ways now .....STOP IT BEFOR IT START YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND SOMETIMES .if you want it to get to a point where you cant look after him just let him do what he wants and just keep talking to him saying please dont do that see how that works out you
@@honeybunch5765As someone with high functioning autism or Aspergers or whatever you like to call it, this is true, Ion like how people romanticise Autism, although I haven’t had a meltdown in years, my little sister (Who is severely to moderately autistic) still has meltdowns and she screams really loud during them, sometimes she gets aggressive (Although rarely, she does) :/
You guys did an amazing job raising Steven and his life now seems to be in good hands. His care workers all look like big teddy bears who just wanna see the best for your son.
They mention that at 2 years old he 'got a virus' as though that changed his brain to become autistic rather than him being naturally orientated that way. This was quite vague and needs more explanation. Could there be a virus that attacks the brain in such a way that damages the brain's ability to cope with stress - for example the presence of tumours in the brain manifests symptoms of anger and emotional distress.
Of course he was in with adults, he’s HUGE! And i know he’s too big and too strong for you two to handle, you can’t expect for him to be in a hospital around children
Yeah but thats their child. Of course they're gonna feel bad about sending him away. There's a huge stigma around this sort of thing. So it's natural to feel shame. Not that they're wrong and the stigma is right. Just that I get where the self blame is coming from.
I have a 23yr old son just like him, I too was recently diagnosed with breast cancer so I know all too well how stressful it is to juggle treatment while looking after my son, most days I’m grateful my cancer was detected early but there are days that I wish it was terminal. I’m on my own, my husband left 8yrs ago because he wanted a life, NDIS isn’t much help because they are not set up for young adults who are hard to manage, I just take each day at a time, two years ago I started painting as a way of managing my stress and depression , Brian enjoys watching Big Bang and other programs and is very good at doing the recycling, he likes to go shopping and waves at everyone. there are good days and bad. He doesn’t like other disable people or dogs after being bitten by a strangers dog, this makes it had to go places like parks or Bunnings as he goes into extreme panic. I do feel my mental health sliding, and there is simply no care for the carers, I think if it wasn’t for painting I’d probably end it all…. But tomorrow’s another day isn’t it? and if I’m not around to look after my son then who will?
I’m so very sorry you’ve been dealt such difficult cards in life, it’s just not fair. I can’t say anything to make a difference to your situation but please know that there is someone out there thinking of you ❤
I feel so bad for this family. As much love as they have for Steven they are aging and there will come a time when they would not be able to control him. I hope the whole family finds peace and know they did the right thing
Hello, I was just crying 😭. This is what happened to my son. He got 6 shots and then got sick. Running a fever for a few hours after. Then the next day… he was different. My son is 16 now. He had to be in a group home. I have pictures. Your home looked like mine. He is still not okay. ABA therapy, Autism school, everything and I know… I just got a call today. He went off again. He is hurting people. Peace be with you. I know that pain. You do anything and everything…. Hugs from an Autism Mom.
Same. Shots fever next day gone. Just not the same. Stopped walking talking eating sleeping eye contact. I'm going through exactly what they are. But my son is extremely agreessive all the time. Homes in walls hits himself bites me ect. He's 14. I'm scared all the time but I live him i couldn't live without him
@ Unfortunately I had to place him. I have known someone that got beat up and put in the hospital. I need to make sure we both are safe. It is hard. But I look at what is working for him not me. I will see him for Xmas. I won’t ever leave. Stay safe. Hugs 🤗
I used to be violent and have outbursts as a teenager, and the police were called on one occasion, but thankfully I'm low on the spectrum. I 'grew out' of it, and although I still have my difficulties sometimes, I couldn't imagine hurting my parents or family. Some of us aren't so lucky, and I can only imagine the pains of sending someone you love away.. but ultimately it's for his own safety and the family's. I hope he's doing okay! And the parents! They need a vacation.
I know this first hand. My conclusions after 30 years is, child is born, diagnosed with autism and because parents are shocked and upset , they will do anything to keep their child happy. They child is small and the parent is still able to manage any upsets. The child becomes a teen:young adult. They often have a late onset of puberty. They srart getting aggressive , they are bigger and stronger and it’s harder to manage. You suddenly have a huge angry adult toddler. They’ve often never had much expected of them. Everybody runs around trying to keep them happy so they are a huge , incompetent angry adult toddler. I would tell any parent of a young child with autism to have expectations, get them doing as much as the other children in the family, don’t pander to bad behaviours, don’t let screens and tv take over and try to allow your young adult to grow up . Finding the right residential setting for the young person when they are young . Don’t keep them at home being a mini tyrant as you parents are getting older and less able to cope. You do them a great disservice if you play into their obsessions and behaviours and have no expectations. Loving somebody is not about keeping them happy all the time. Like the mother packing the suitcase, carrying the suitcase and putting it in the car. The son should be doing that himself. And people with autism can do things. I’ve experienced it.
As someone who grew up with an autistic sibling that to this day isn't told "No" because it'll make him violent and upset, everything you're saying is true.
And I’m not just having a go at parents. I know it’s hard . There is so much guilt and worry that parents just try to manage but the child gets more and more difficult. We had people who went to school in a place where they learned skills as a young person and they worked in the garden, or learned a craft, found a niche in life at a young g age, farming or gardening etc… as adults they lived productive lives and had friends All be it slightly different. Theb I met people who lived at home until they were 30/40 and they suffered so much when their parents got too old to support them any more . They find it hard to adjust and they are distracted . I’d want the former for my child if they had autism. Also siblings suffer too. We did some family support groups and they were very important to the families. Stuff came up from way back. We don’t need to feel sorry for people with disabilities, we need to give them the skills to manage their lives .
i am NOT a "person with autism". I am AUTISTIC. and its beautiful. but that said the rest of your comment is absolutey true. that can be the case... i wasnt diagnosed until i sought out a diagnosis at 20 years old. i am glad, so glad i was diagnosed later in life. i have an extensive vocabulary because my mom read to me every night. i am in university because as a kid i had the option to do the schoolwork or pick potato bugs in the garden. my brothers are neurotypical and we were all raised the same. to understand respect, and work ethic and to do our best but never let anyone tell us we werent good enough. to be solution focused and use our imaginations to find solutions. to be resourceful and know that no one was gpoing to save us from the consequences of our actions so we have better be very very very careful in life. dont take stupid risks. when i was 4 i remember throwing a fit in the store. my mom didnt buy me what i wanted nor did she get angry. she simply walked to the cash and said "okay! im leaving! see you later!, i guess your staying here for the night!" i remember running after her "mommy! mommy!" her response was, "well you better keep up or youll get left behind.. im going home so if your coming with me, get in the car." i thank her for all her love and support and im extremely close with her . im looking after her in her older years just as i saw her look after my grandparents. i learned alot through her modelling what to do and what not to do, and imitating her. so no, your little theory isnt always what happens but it can be when parents dont want to parent anymore. instead they want to cater because they are so scared of being called abusive if they discipline their kids. its ridiculous. child services needs to cast a much narrower net AND there needs to be consequences for making false reports. simple as that.
You cannot force an autistic person to be normal and the part about obsessions is just nit picking. Liking something a lot hurts nobody. You will be fine, old man.
No real quality of life is it? 3 full time minders must cost a fortune. Controlled by meds and food. I think the mum [probably dad too] are afraid of their child. It is a shame, and I feel sorry for all involved.
Everyone looked so much happier in the end! That’s what it’s about, his parents can breathe knowing he is safe and he can get the attention and help he needs from professionals, not saying his parents didn’t.
Autistic people are wired differently with different personalities. My cousin is nonverbal, his parents love and understand him and help him so much. Som autistic are violent and need specialized help. Others are full functioning with their own apartment and job. I pray your son gets the help he needs.
just stop it before it starts thats what my family did my brother would punch and kick my parents it lasted for 1 week and my dad punished him as he would us other kids its the best thing dad ever did my brother now will not be violent because he know he can not get away with it he deals with things in other ways now .....STOP IT BEFOR IT START YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND SOMETIMES .if you want it to get to a point where you cant look after him just let him do what he wants and just keep talking to him saying please dont do that see how that works out you
Its heartbreaking, they really truly loved him, and didnt want him to go, but of course he needed a specific kind of care. And i hope it worked out for him 🙏
My best friends non-verbal autistic brother is like this. He doesn't live with the family and only comes to visit during holidays. He's just too violent to live with his family full-time.
A 3 or 4 year old still knows not to be naughty and violent . This poor family especially mum who was having a mastectomy. They look so exhausted and sad. life just isn't fare to some people
This reminds me of my schizophrenic brother. When he was locked up he used to call us all the time. Now he's free but he's off in his own world. He's not even on social media anymore.
i only see this with parents that dont know how to deal with them growing up just because they have some problem does not mean you cant teach them right from wrong i have never seen strict parents with kids like this
And what sucks about any government is people ask for help but dont get it but if they get arrested or on drugs or etc etc they get all the help and its not fair how that goes
You guys are amazing parents, an amazing family. You did what you HAD to do. He was a danger to himself, and YOU guys.. this way he can be safe and imagine how horrific he'd feel if he hurt you guys.. or worse. He has special needs, and they're helping with that.
I couldn’t do this, I commend these people who care for him. It must be so difficult. I honestly don’t think I could handle having a child this mentally ill.
That is absolutely ridiculous, no normal good people should I have to deal with something like that. Is 21 hopefully he gets help definitely needs medication or an increase if he already is prescribed. Big boy is 21 years old let him know that you guys cannot have him live there because you cannot afford to pay for more damage. Ones like this are a problem for life. They might be good for a while but then he'll come back, then he'll go back to being good and so on a neverending nightmare
I hope and pray he finds a happy balance, with the help of medication and therapy, to be able to control himself, and be a part of the family. And Thank God for his carers! Those guys need to be compensated heavily for all they do...because there's NO way someone takes on that career simply for the money...there must be a great heart involved! 💜💜💜
I struggle with autism as well. Im in the higher functioning category though. We all just want our kids to be happy. I deal with stemming and I hate to be touched by anyone except my girlfriend. As I've been getting older my stress levels and sensitivity have increased. Noises, touch, visual it has all gotten worse. I don't consider myself non verbal but for the first 5 years of my life I barely talked had a good therapist that helped me use my words instead of screaming. In this case you guys did the right thing. It's hard to raise an autistic adult. Trust me it's hard for me to deal with my own problems. You sent him away because you love him and he's needs more help than you can provide. I hope he's doing well now. I hope you guys get to visit.
If you are able to type this on UA-cam you are not autistic. People stop. Us parents are struggling, TRULY STRUGGLING and crying all the time wondering what will happen to our kids if we die suddenly and our kids can’t get REAL BIOMEDICAL HELP because people like you go around saying you’re autistic because you have psychosocial issues that can be addressed through therapy. OUR KIDS CAN’T LIVE ON THEIR OWN WITH THERAPY, EVER. Stop this now. You aren’t helping.
@@techiebliss I don't give a crap what you think I was diagnosed with autism. You are the problem assuming that autistic people can't function or even write a comment on UA-cam. Autism is a spectrum. Why would I pretend to be autistic? It is fucking debilitating. It's hard for me to be in places with a lot of people. Sounds make my skin crawl. I can't even hug my own parents without feeling weird. I do it but I don't like it. Don't fucking assume something just because you are ignorant to autism and it's spectrum.
@@techieblisspsychologists that diagnose this person know a lot more than you ever will, so cut the cráp. You have no room to yap about what you wrongly think autism is. Like it or not, it is a massive spectrum. We are not all the more severe side of it. Do everyone a favor, and don’t talk about subjects you clearly know nothing about. If you actually have a child with autism and you’re this bigoted and miseducated about it I feel so so horrible for them. The way you view them, treat them and infantilize people with the disability has to be horrendous.
@@Linds-oz1oz They often aren’t diagnosed by psychologists but by “Behavioral Analysts” who are not trained in neurology or even BIOLOGY. It’s a SCAM. You have no idea who I am and what I know. I’ve been researching this for ten years now for my child and I have the test results proving heavy metal contamination. How many years have you put into doing independent research?
He really did seem like a typical little toddler. It honestly seems like that virus triggered or caused those changes! So glad you had videos of him because it seems so apparent he was born neural typical. e
No animal should be expected to live like this. There shouldn't be any pets in situations like this. Mental health needs more state support ... its so unfortunate.
The problem is mental health hospitals and mental health in general really just disregard autism and especially high on the spectrum, ive seen it myself when i was sectioned and i felt so bad for these people who had autism around me. I mean in general mental hospitals are horrible but they should have seperate ones and easier to handle for autistic people.
This is the side of autism we rarely get to see. Yes it’s very rare, but it’s a serious problem with the lack of funding or even concern from governments both in Aus and NZ. The funding cuts to the NDIS are disgraceful. Much love to these amazing parents who’ve had to make the hardest decision to protect their safety and mental health. I can’t imagine the burden these circumstances would feel like at times. But still they don’t complain are patient and loving towards their children, amazing video origin❤️ P.s that kiwi caretaker of Elliot seems like the sweetest soul🥺(no surprises tho kiwis are generally super compassionate and lovely!).
it’s not rare at all, they just don’t show this to the public because they don’t want people to realize how serious it is and how much more serious it’s going to get when these kids are becoming middle-aged adults and the parents are passing away…. and there’s nowhere for them to go. What’s going to happen to them?? They don’t want us thinking about that. It’s all going to blow up soon.
@@techieblissit’s a massive spectrum. There’s plenty of us that are normal functioning adults. There’s others who are stuck in homes their whole lives, there’s been numerous geniuses like Einstein that have been autistic, and there’s symptoms everywhere in between. Autistic adults have existed for as long as we’ve been able to record. They just didn’t have proper terms or technology to properly categorize it until more recently in history. It either went undiagnosed, and the person was just considered to be weird, or on the more severe side, they were deemed “r*tarded” and locked away from the rest of society. Please don’t talk about subjects you clearly don’t know about. The most severe cases most certainly need to be taken more seriously, and the lack of help they get is horrific. That I agree with, but that doesn’t account for all of us, or even the majority really.
@@Linds-oz1oz NO. It’s a scam to write tons of prescriptions to people who don’t need them, WAKE UP ALREADY. You can’t combine neurodevelopmental impairment with psychosocial awkwardness, those are two completely different things that have nothing to do with a “spectrum”. Autism is an umbrella term to cover up what is happening to these kids from environmental toxins put out by multibillion dollar industries. It’s GATEKEEPING.
@@techieblissPeople with disabilities go into a group home when their parents pass away or can no longer care for them. I have disabilities and have accepted that, down the line, I will be in a group home someday.
Well-run services like these, with fantastic staff, are godsends and lifesavers for everyone. They’re only funded when the public organize and demand critically needed human services like these, from mental health to medical services, to help for those with profound disabilities. It’s part of who we are as humans to nurture and do whatever we can to help individuals and families with things like this. Great documentary and best wishes to this family and the community care providers.
It’s great u found help for him wish they had like that for my brother here a home of his own with carers of his own would never happen in Canada unless your minted
My brother in law is like this. But his parents refuse to put him in a group home. My father in law kicked me out because his ex wife forced my brother in law off on him because he got kicked out of his last place for trying to kill his roommate. He's lived with his dad for 9 years now and destroyed the house i helped fix up while his dad was gone for weeks as a truck driver. Then when he had retire due to a back injury my brother in law tried to kill him. My husband had to move in to pay the bills and protect his dad because his other brother didn't feel like putting up with all of it. So im living with my family because there's no room for me there and im in constant danger whenever im there for more than an hour. I've seriously considered divorce but we cant afford it. Originally me and my husband were living with his dad because we couldn't afford a place of our own and the deal was that i would cook and clean while he was away and my husband would work to pay the bills and fix anything that needed fixing. His dad would send money to help pay the bills and any repairs my husband couldn't do. 9 years after my brother in law moved in and i moved out the house is barely recognizable. It's full of filth and animals. My father in law lives in his room while my brother in law has the rest of the house. My husband lives in a barely functioning camper in the backyard and only comes in the house to take his dad to the doctor or take a shower. He's constantly working and hardly ever home. Any time my husband has tried to stand up to his brother he has been arrested because the neighbors or his mother calls the police on my husband for 'hurting her baby'. My brother in law never sits in jail for more than a night and gets special treatment because he's got an illness. The police know he's dangerous but blame my husband and just tell his dad to make sure he takes his medication. He never does. All he does is drink and get high with the few friends he has. He steals any money my husband sets aside to get our own place nearby so we can check on dad. Even if we did get a place we know the brother would force his way in and we can't do anything about it.
❤ sounds bipolar... my son died from the consequences of the illness. I loved my son so deeply, but it was unbelievably hard. He was violent at home he went into state care at 16. I won't get hurt in my own home. It broke him, and it still hurts me greatly to think about it, but he was violent as a toddler, slept through the night, first time, age 11. Being around him was always walking on eggshells
Autism is not a mental health disorder unfortunately here in the UK the mental health team’s cannot admit people with this disorder, not enough support out there
My nephew has autism with 2 other conditions adhd and dypraxia. We had some support when he was a teenager, clubs for special needs which he enjoyed at 18yrsold.everything seemed to stop. i asked for some support for him as a young adult. Was told he wasn't on the autism system and would pass on to the mental health team. Which I declined. I agree with you. Same words I spoke when I refused the referral to mental health. Autism is completely different and completed with different functioning levels for each person. Most have other disability dypraxia is a disability but some professionals say different. This is why mental health services are failing people to many are being referred when they need completely different care and support. If professionals would stop the textbook approach and speak out and support families with autism needs. Then some change might come. If nobody speaks or highlights, there needs no funding would been put in place for special care. I even had teams around me at a meeting saying they hadn't got it yet. We don't understand their needs yet. How could I work with a team for support and a care plan when professionals didn't understand his needs. This is in the UK. L.C.Council.
That’s not true. Autistic people, even those without other conditions, are frequently sectioned in the UK and put in inappropriate hospital environments. It’s a real issue that’s been in the news a lot.
My family were in this exact position with my brother. He’s autistic and non verbal. He was very violent and would break things constantly. We tried everything we could until eventually he had to go to a home under the care of MENCAP. He’s doing exceedingly well there because they know how to manage his needs properly.
This is the other side of autism that gets so rarely talked about because people are too caught up in a romanticised version of what autism is. This is a very real situation a lot of families are having to deal with and my heart goes out to every single one of them
Jesus is the way the truth and the life. No one can go to the Father except through him.❤️
Knowing Jesus is knowing peace, protection and provision ❤️
Jesus saves, Jesus heals, Jesus grants peace and Jesus loves you.
Yes Jesus does. Of course! But why did you say this while this person gave there story?
@@pontiacman78Because some christians feel good about themselves when they talk about their religion to others in need of help, it's much easier to send a generic “Jesus loves you” message that's so vague it could apply to a million situations than offering actual help, or support, or to even show some understanding for their situation. Also probably because the original commenter has “lovecraft” in their ussername and goth makeup, and the person you are responding to probably associated that with witchcraft, wich goes against christianism, in wich case the Jesus comment is actually an attempt to make them change into christianism as a way to help their situation (wich is kinda yucky if you ask me, to assume someone is struggling in life because of their lack of faith when you don't really know anything about them, and to use that reasoning as bait so they join your religion...)
It’s not rarely talked about, lmao
@@linvi_chemutai what does Jesus have to do with this?
My autistic brother used to be harmful to himself, until he finally got on the right meds around age 17-18. He is 35 now, and still doing good.
I’m so happy to hear that. My 20 year old nephew who is severely autistic. Have done things harmful towards people even towards me. He have hit me more then a couple of times. Split on me twice. He threw an iPod at me 3-4 days ago. 14 months ago he tried to throw an electronic book at me.
@untitle161 Sorry to hear that. My Brother also has a mild form of Cerberal Palsy, so his walking looks abit unsteady, and he has to sign to communicate. He was born 3mths early, and only 2lbs 0oz, which is the cause for his issues. But, he was never really violent towards others, like your Nephew. If he became frustrated, or angry, he would hit himself, or hit his head against things.
How old is your Nephew? If he is young, I hope he grows out of it, or they find something that helps him. It makes me sad sometimes, because I can still see the frustration on Brothers face, when ppl don't understand what he is trying to say.
@@Commissioner62 , thank you! Oh your brother also has cerebral palsy. He was born 3 months early. My nephew, his mother( my sister) was born like 2 months early. She was in AP classes in high school. Well her son(my nephew), he’s 20 years old. When he was younger, we hope that he will get better. He hasn’t. He doesn’t talk. He gets speech therapy and goes to a private school for special needs students. I feel for his parents because his severely autism makes them sad and have frustration moment. They love him and wish he wouldn’t be violent. But he is. My sister and her husband they are stuck in a lifestyle of watching him. They and along with their son, the 3 of them all can’t go to relatives gathering. Because the way he does harmful/violent things. So they are trapped with him. Whenever we have a relative gathering, only my sister can go. Her husband must be home with him. Whenever my sister husband goes to his relative gathering, my sister has to be home with their son.
@untitle161 That is sad. My Mother raised him mostly by herself, with the help of my Aunt, for a majority of those early years, still having episodes. He started to get too strong for them, and almost ended up in a home, but that's around the time he got put on meds that actually helped. Today he goes to a daytime, work program, so adults like him can be around oneanother, and keep their time occupied. They get paid for it, so he is not just sitting at home. But had they not found the proper meds, I doubt he could be in this program he actually loves. He even has a "girlfriend" who has Downs Syndrome. It's cute.
I really hope they can find something that helps your Nephew, because their episodes can get extremely physical, and more dangerous as they get stronger. Some eventually grow out of it, some need certain meds, some need a Behavioral Professional, but usually it ends up as a combination of 2 or all.
As a mother to a 5 year old son with severe non verbal autism, I cannot watch this. Not because I don’t know this is a possibility and want to pretend it isn’t, but because my mind is CONSTANTLY thinking about things like this. I will watch this and stay awake in bed at night, crying with anxiety. My sweet sweet boy. I pray I’m able to be enough. ❤
just stop it before it starts thats what my family did my brother would punch and kick my parents it lasted for 1 week and my dad punished him as he would us other kids its the best thing dad ever did my brother now will not be violent because he know he can not get away with it he deals with things in other ways now .....STOP IT BEFOR IT START YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND SOMETIMES .if you want it to get to a point where you cant look after him just let him do what he wants and just keep talking to him saying please dont do that see how that works out you
@biggzygaming2115
I’m assuming your brother isn’t autistic, let alone severely. It’s not that simple.
@@a.evelyn5498 lol whatever makes you feel better
@@biggzygaming2115 I don't assume. I know your brother isn't. Get back to gaming. My son is 26 Non-Verbal Autistic. Been violent for 4 years now. Don't you think all your little suggestions weren't tried in the first few months????
one day its going to go horrible for you, one day you will get hurt and no longer cope, you should prepare yourself mentally and get support early to minimise impact on you while supporting him, maybe he will stay at home with you with the right support but dont be a bad parent and leave it until its too late and you have no choice but to kick him out
I have asd and adhd. I'm verbal, have a house, a car, friends and a career. I got VERY lucky that my neurology is so capable.
Kinda lucky as well. (Minus a house and a good job 😅)
Apart from my own house, I have everything else and have the same condition as you. I'm in some ways lucky that my autism is not as severe as others.
Kinda like you have something totally different huh
@@guitarman813kinda like you have a different condition. I understand it's a spectrum but mental illness is not understood yet. May never fully be understood atleast in our life time. Because these people could never have a car or even wipe there ass. I think you have something different.
@@Sean-wc3gn no, it just means they’re on another part of the spectrum 🙂😌
You had to get yourselves help. You had to get your adult son help. The problem was too much. You did the right thing. You've been wonderful parents.
Yea i hope their son is better now
If they're such amazing parents, then why do they talk about their son like he's a diseased freak? The words they use to describe autism as "severe", "debilitating" or "profound" as if it's a cancer, autistic people hear all the time. I've been called "severely autistic" for having comorbidities, or "profoundly autistic" for being unable to speak in stressful situations, and it's led to rejection and ostracization, and of course, the ever high rate of considering "self deletion".
just stop it before it starts thats what my family did my brother would punch and kick my parents it lasted for 1 week and my dad punished him as he would us other kids its the best thing dad ever did my brother now will not be violent because he know he can not get away with it he deals with things in other ways now .....STOP IT BEFOR IT START YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND SOMETIMES .if you want it to get to a point where you cant look after him just let him do what he wants and just keep talking to him saying please dont do that see how that works out you
@Spectre-69
Those words arent insulting. They just are words used to describe how affected someone is by a condition. And how dare you use the word "cancer" like its an insult. If you dont like the words "severe autism" how do you think people with cancer feel having you say "as if its a cancer"? No one makes the choice to be born or affected by any condition. Some people are more affected by conditions than others. Thats not bad or good. It just is.
Very well said. X
I see these autistic kids growing up and are big strong men. Sometimes they need more care then just a mother or father, they need to start creating places for the adult autistic people where they can live and be safe with all around care and safety.
We had them then activists pretended it was meeeeean to get them support. Now they roam the streets or get put up in an apartment next to unsuspecting hard working families.
Yeah. Mental health, especially in Men is very neglected in the United states
Edit* as well as many other countries
@joe9743 you don't know what you're talking about about.
@@joe9743 You know autism isn't a mental health disorder, right?
It's called a group home,but many are too violent for that.
I have autism myself and seeing his parents being supportive through all of this and not giving up and giving him the help he needed makes me happy
I had the same feeling as a fellow autistic person! I am so grateful for him that he has such a loving and understanding family! It made me tear up the whole time watching this video. /gen
You're going to be disappointed when you find out this is an anti-autism channel.
@@Spectre-69 it’s a condition not a belief.
Your full of crap @Spectre-69
No you don't.
Stress kills people. Mother needs to know she did an excellent job and needs a vacation.
If I leave a dangerous violent situation and I follow me outside….p3w p3w, idc who u are.
I work in the social care sector and firmly believe that families cannot sustain this level of abuse in the home. It needs a team of people to support his needs.
The problem is the parents didn't discipline the kids early on. They are allowed to get away with bad behavior because they are autistic.
@@9395gbthis isn't anything to do with a lack of discipline! It's mental health, my son didn't start being violent like this until he was 15, taller and stronger than me, leaving me completely powerless. Honestly your insensitivity and ignorance is gross.
@9395gb Sure bud.
I was a care taker of Special Needs Adults for 7 years before I got burned out. I can't even begin to imagine being a parent raising one. I love this video because it shows all sides of individuals, where as media typically just shows Down Syndrome individuals as a representation for all and don't speak about dark times. I had a couple individuals like Steven and I was constantly ridden with anxiety every time I'd take them out in Public or they start to act out in the home, but you can't show that anxiety and have to put a mask on and handle the situation. I'm so happy that Steven is in a good, supportive environment that is helping him maintain stability and happiness!
one autistic kid is equal to about 3-5 normal kids management wise. my parents did well raising 3 that were all over the spectrum.
Quem cuidará de nossos filhos quando nós morrermos? Mesmo autistas com grau 1 e 2, tem dificuldades para viverem sozinhos.
Same after 9 years I just couldn’t mentally handle it anymore
I’m not even a caregiver, but ended up getting harassed by an autistic communities in my neighborhood. Believe it or not. I’m a liar!
You cant expect people who have never been autistic a day in their life to understand what autism is like. These parent are doing everything they can
just stop it before it starts thats what my family did my brother would punch and kick my parents it lasted for 1 week and my dad punished him as he would us other kids its the best thing dad ever did my brother now will not be violent because he know he can not get away with it he deals with things in other ways now .....STOP IT BEFOR IT START YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND SOMETIMES .if you want it to get to a point where you cant look after him just let him do what he wants and just keep talking to him saying please dont do that see how that works out you
My son too did this. Head banging walls, slapping me, biting my arm... He was put in a group home at 20 and they have found different ways to stop him. Being a single mum, and he was so big, his little brother was suicidal and the only thing to calm him was dissolved valium. When I suffered a mini stroke from high blood pressure and he had just had his 3rd hip operation, I fell apart. I fully understand this family's anxiety. These homes are terrific! Wonderful carers. We visit, meet for lunch and have nice times. We're in Australia and he has ndis as do I now as I have early onset vascular dementia now. He is 35 now but is about 5 mentally with a big permanent lump on his forehead. Plz do not feel guilty when considering care, they are much better off with a busy lifestyle.
❤❤❤❤
His parents made the right decision even though I cannot imagine the heartache of it. He is now living in a place where staff are specially trained to meet his needs.
they are actually lucky he over 18, if you try to get your child placed before 18 they will charge you with felony child endangerment and abandonment as part of the process of transferring custody to the state. im not kidding, they will make you a criminal for trying to get help.
@@robmullin1128
Years ago lads with difficulties like that would get a manual job which would need strenght. And would use up a lot of energy and would rest at home no bother in the evening.
Yup,the standard is a danger to himself or others.
The fact that he has such a BIG and gentle man looking out for him… Omg that must be such a relief for Mom😢
Im sorry for the families dealing with this but we need more institutions and help for people with these types of issues.
My daughter is diagnosed with P.A.N.D.A.S
Paediatric Autoimmune Neropsychiatric disorder associated with strep… This is identical behaviour
This was the first thing I thought of when they mentioned the total behavioural and psychological changes after being ill. Especially since he met all of his milestones up until that point.
That's what I thought immediately!
Yes not many people know about PANDAS
I was diagnosed with Asperger’s as an adult. I remember about 3-4 years old, I got bad tonsillitis. I used to eat vegetables, eggs, but I became very picky with food. Then when I had my tonsils out, I stopped talking for a few weeks. I developed sensitivity to itchy clothes and smells. I got obsessed with astronomy, which resulted in bullying in school. So it's interesting, I know about PANDAS so wonder if a bacterial infection might be a cause. Also, around the same time I got hay-fever, so there's probably an autoimmune component. There is a genetic influence too. My nephew is autistic and my cousins on both sides of my family have children on the autism spectrum, about 3 or 4 children (10% are on the spectrum)
Also, the same or similar bacteria also causes scarlet fever, which can result in a neurological condition called Sydenham's corea, OCD and movement disorder. The American artist, Andy Warhol, had scarlet fever and Sydenham corea as a child, his repetitive art might be related.
I am dx'd autistic but i am never violent. I had german measles as a baby and i have a genetic disorder called DEE that caused my autism. Its fascinating how these things seems to overlap some
He is such a big young man... he seems trapped inside himself. Being fearful or upset about it seems like a very human response. As a momma, my heart aches 💔 for him and his family.
A great majority of my family is autistic, including myself. But none of us have an intellectual disability. The combination of autism and intellectual disability is extremely difficult once the children grow up. Autism on it's own is a frustrating life, I can't imagine trying to deal with adult children with these two comorbidities. I wish this family all the best.
But autism is a intellictual disability. It's just a spectrum of how severe.
@ No, ASD is a neurological disorder, our brains are wired differently. But many with autism (ie level 1 / Asperger’s) do not have intellectual disabilities and have average to high IQs. For example, Anthony Hopkins, Daryl Hannah, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Dr. Temple Grandin, Mark Zuckerberg. Intellectual disability is another diagnosis and can be a comorbidity in ASD. Another common comorbidity is epilepsy.
@@Sean-wc3gnno, it’s not. You spelt “intellectual” wrong btw.
Omg. I thought I was alone. I cannot let anyone see my house because of the broken doors and walls. 😢 thank you for letting me know I am not alone. Single mom w 2 autistic sons.
Im coming at this with little personal experience of living at home with autistics, but sounds like from the severity of destruction of property that you describe, please get yourself to a place of safety asap, whether it be home removal for the boys, etc. You don't want to be what they destroy when you just happen to be closer than a wall. It's so scary - my mother has an incredible heart for people with mental disabilities and was a paraeducator for some time when I was an elementary school student. Watching her come home with bruises, scratch marks, bite marks, etc scared me as a kid. Especially if there are other kids at home, for their sake, and also for your sake, please get some measures in place to protect yourself and all of your loved ones, including your sons - protecting them from themselves is still protection.
@@call_megumiI feel this. I grew up with a sibling that would literally kick through doors when she got to teenage hood. Landed most of my family in the hospital at various times. It’s so sad the aren’t more resources for working class people.
As a personal plea: please protect any other children that you have! I still deal with the trauma and do not speak to my parents because they allowed me to be constantly abused by my sibling. Yes, even if it means the criminal justice system. You all deserve to feel safe in your own home, but it’s especially important during development.
@@Brad14397❤
Mine is the same due to my eldest who is autistic, you are definitely not alone.
Your a wonderful mother!!
Hang on in there ❤❤
The fact that he has a 3:1 supervision ratio is wild. It's hard enough to provide 1:1 supervision nowadays (in the usa). Lack of funding. Terrible wages and retention rates.
As a 21 yo autistic man, this brings back times when I would get extremely violent with my parents and just being disrespectful. It got to the point where the cops were called on me. Looking back I don’t blame them at all for doing so and was well deserved. I eventually made a friend at work who would change me into someone who’s independent but I do think about those times a lot and I regret everything so much and hate myself so much for it
Don't beat yourself up, we all do things that we regret. Your parents love you and they understand. I am so happy to hear you are doing well!!!
Everyone makes mistakes 🙏
Dont hate yourself baby and i promise you your parents feel no hate towards you you've grown and worked it out what a beautiful thing to do and as a neurospicy myself I can say I have seen more of us grow and change than neuro typicals
You can't change what happened man; but at least you learned, grew, and are sorry. A lot of people don't (or sometimes can't) reflect on their actions.
You're holding yourself accountable, as long as you're doing better moving forward no need to live with regret
the frustration of having little ability to communicate and being unable to express your emotions and anger in a non violent way is just mindboggling
It must be absolute hell
All heart goes out to his family especially his mom and carers i hope his days become more calm and happy.
This video is like 9-10 years old. I wonder how the family is doing now.
Oh makes sense why there seemed to be less information abt autism during the report and why his diagnosis was so late
@@marinanieto7670yeah this was filmed mid 2000's
15 yrs ago..
From July 2016
@@marinanieto7670 not necessarly the diagnosis
We are 2024 and one of my sibling was diagnose last year and the mom told the Drs many times he was sleeping late never before 11pm, he was always running like an hyperactive, he would not look into the eyes, he had spécial interests also like older kids but Drs never said he might be and we learn it all last year about he was Asberger (which this too is not called Asberger anymore, but high IQ kid well now adult!)
There is a lack of help but also a big lack of knowledge about it from Drs too. Even this, they are not specialized on Autism so its hard on any kids and parents and as its not a disease its not something you can heal either
Tough for sure
This is one of the best documentaries I've ever seen. I'll be praying for his family.
Mom and Dad you did the right thing. , all of you need to be safe. Stephen too.
Vaosila has such a peaceful, strong demeanor. It isnt everyone who could care for vulnerable people like Steven.
The place that he's at now is amazing and gives him boundaries. His carer is a big dude so can restrain him easily whilst it was harder for elder parents .especially his mum . It was a beautiful scene watching mum reading to him .she's so patient. Made me so tearful when he threw a fit screaming at her .
He wasn't screaming AT her.
Autistics should not be restrained at all, and if his caregiver is restraining him then that’s probably what’s contributing to a lot of his aggression in the first place.
@@vickythefist7062 the family are so fortunate to have found the caregivers and place
@@jamesheady7216you are not an expert and have never been assaulted by a strong heavy 6ft autistic male.
@@jamesheady7216So they should just be allowed to hurt themselves or other people?
this is misleading, he wasnt arrested, he was involuntarily committed and sometimes the persons cuffed by the police for that to happen unfortunately (it shouldnt be that way but it is for now)
Sadly sometimes the police have to become involved to work alongside the paramedics if the person being involuntarily taken to a mental health facility is a threat to themselves or others.
Also, in regards to the mental health facility stating that they could not guarantee Steven's safety- having worked in several mental health inpatient wards, I imagine that considering Steven's episodes of shouting and hitting the staff cannot predict the reaction of other patients to Steven's behaviour, or how he might be triggered by the behaviour of other patients himself.
Unusually involuntary commitment where a police man puts hand cuffa on you meets a classic definition of being arrested
How do you know
@haydenmyers9446 right
I mean usually
It’s heartbreaking that there often times aren’t a lot of resources for people like Steven’s parents when their kids start to outgrow them and are capable of hurting them. A teacher in the US was just beaten within inches of her life, because a woman refused to put her autistic son who had violent meltdowns in a special school. She’s claiming she did everything right and it was the school who effed up. There’s multiple instances of him being violent with other teachers, students, and his mother. Mom says he doesn’t know what he was doing, but when they dragged him off his teacher he tried to get back to her and said he was going to “unalive her” all because she told him it was time to stop playing a game in his iPad and start doing the work on his iPad. Just because someone might be stunted and be have the mental capability of a young kid doesn’t mean they aren’t dangerous…
It also doesn’t mean they don’t need discipline. I see so many children with disabilities that are just allowed to do whatever they want and it’s shocking to me!!
This is so true. There was a kid in my 5th grade class who was like this and the staff would try to give him time to interact with us to help him build social skills. He was a few years older than us because he was held back a few grades to help him socially. One time they let him in the classroom with us and there was a teacher with him the whole time. The kid came up to me and pulled out his pen*s and started humping me. I had already gone through SA growing up and when this happened to me in front of my whole class it retraumatized me so much. Thankfully the teacher immediately pulled the kid off me and the teachers tried to pull me aside to see if I was ok. But all I remember is feeling so ashamed and embarrassed and disturbed. I refused to talk to anyone and just put up a wall and flat out ignored what happened. The kid continued to masterb*te each time he saw me in the hallway or class. They had to keep him separated from me and the other students and eventually sent him to another school soon after. Kids like this can't be in the general public. It's just not safe for anyone.
It wasn't an IPad, it was a Nintendo switch. Mom is claiming people are racist against her son because he's black. You can see on the surveillance video how much bigger he in than the teacher. You also see a student walking past and not stopping to help
An autistic person saying they will kill someone definitely knows what they mean, though some who are not and strong could accidentally kill an elderly parent specially during a violent outburtst without meaning to.
Having a disability is not an excuse to get away with murder (in this case almost literally) if they know the rules & what they’re expected to do, even within the limits of their disability then they KNOW when they've done wrong. I had to look after a 4 year old at a daycare I worked at who was autistic and if you had to remove him from a dangerous situation such as grabbing a fire extinguisher or trying to open doors to outside (which he was a notorious flight risk for) he did everything from pulling hair to scratching, hitting & BITING & was he ever disciplined when he did these things? Nope - he just threw a tantrum & was comforted after with a hug 🤦♀ I may have been forced to abide by my workplace's rules but I would not raise ANY kid of mine so slackly. I also didn't just take his abuse (cos that's what it WAS, age be damned!) I stopped him if he dared try any of that on me & even if another carer hugged him afterwards when he threw a tantrum, I never did (unless he hurt himself while playing).
And I say all this as someone on the spectrum myself - because my mum (who has flaws like all parents) even after I was diagnosed, ALWAYS made sure I knew the boundaries she set & I knew them by the time I was the same age as the autistic daycare kid I looked after. Of course every autistic kid is different but many are still capable of learning & discipline & even for those who have trouble in this regard like Steven, should still have precautions set in place for their carers to ensure BOTH parties safety.
This is scary. These children are not easy to handle. Nobody blames you no matter what you do . I don't think I could handle it. I had a son who became dangerous. I could not deal with it alone. His father only made matters worse. We no longer talk. Due to the danger of dealing with it. Sad but God knows the truth.
Was PANDAS ever considered? He changed after a infection.. could it have been strep?
My thought as well. I’m a psychologist and his behavior seems more than autism. Looks like PANDAS to me.
What an interesting idea! Another person commented about this. Sounds promising.
Where are you getting your information on PANDAS? I've not seen an awful lot of reliable sources for it being a genuine phenomenon. It could just be that it needs more studying, but it's likely PANDAS wasn't considered as it's not a proper diagnosis at this point in time
Maybe he got brain injury from the infection which led to the severe autism, poor parents and their son, they all must be really suffering.
I know once they said after w virus! I was like omg they missed it
Thank you for sharing your story. You are an incredibly brave family. I taught special education and one of my students would have violent outbursts towards himself and staff. It was so difficult to get management to provide appropriate resources. I'm hope that by brave people like yourselves sharing their stories that appropriate resources and funding become available. I was absolutely traumatised by my experience and I am no longer able to teach which is a terrible waste. People who haven't experienced just have no idea.
Oh, I understand and work with special Ed students. I've witnessed students destroy the classroom, turn over tables and throw chairs. Also, I was almost physically attacked by a student and had to run and call for help. I'm at a point where I don't want to work in this capacity due to safety concerns of not only myself but other students, who may be attacked by violent students. There's not much that can be done to stop it because some of the students have extreme behavioral issues. Positive and negative reinforcements only work for a limited time and the behaviors manifest. Also, suspension doesn't always work. When students return after suspension, the violent behaviors start shortly afterwards. It's not safe for educators, especially when there aren't resource officers to restrain violent students. At my school, resource officers aren't allowed due to the traumatizing effects that it has on students. Teachers are given training on how to restrain violent students. However, restraints can be a challenge for female staff when trying to restrain male teenagers and adolescents, who are much stronger than they are.
@dontbelongherefromanother resource officer is just a nicer word for security gaurd that can restrain someone . Sadly, many of these schools/resource officers have abused their power and done horrible things
@dontbelongherefromanother I was the special Ed kid that would always have a pokemon book with me and and just tell everyone what pokemon they are and just never stop talking. I only had a small class we didn't have anything crazy happen so I am shocked and surprised reading it.
@@vickythefist7062 I get that, but teachers shouldn't be placed in a position to restrain violent students. This is a safety concern, and teachers aren't paid to take on an additional role as a security guard or police.
I was a special education teacher for 34 years but couldn't take it any more. I retired and now volunteer in a kindergarten class every day. So fun and rewarding!
I Was diagnosed with PANDAS and Autism as a child. I had very similar outbursts to his. I was often in a uncontrollable state of anger. My body and limbs would be out of my control. I often hit myself and other objects around the house. My mom had to reinforce my door and windows in my room. When I was ten years old I had a outburst in public and was arrested. The state hand mandated that I was to be put into the psych ward for a year. It was a very traumatic experience for me and I still have nightmares of going back. As I got older now outbursts have stopped. But now instead of having outbursts when I’m stressed. I often have seizures instead. The seizures are definitely better than having outbursts tough. I hope this boy can recover from this disease. I couldn’t even imagine how hard it is to have this disease as an adult.
This is the same as I went through with my son, every door in my house has holes punched through them, furniture has been damaged, my kids toys a possessions got damaged, he smashed pretty much every phone or tablet that was bought for him. The final straw for us is went he threatened his dad with a knife, we had have him moved elsewhere, it broke my heart, and situations like this are complex due to their special needs, but it's good to know I'm not alone and others have gone through the same.
A family friend of my aunts married a woman whose daughter was just like this.
It is very heartbreaking for him and he truly loves her.
She is much better now.
Strong incredible parents who love their children and did not give up on their son. I’m also glad they took the dog’s feelings into account. Animals feel when something is wrong and they too can become traumatized. This was such an inspiring story and I hope the best for this amazing family.
Having my own mental issues I’d never be able to handle a child with autism.
Same. So glad I didn't reproduce.
Well never have children then. Even if your child comes out without any disabilities then you still can’t have a kid since you revealed you have mental issues. Tho I hope you do heal ❤
@@kymiz_ I mean..people with mental issues can have kids and be wonderful parents..but indeed for some it’s just too overwhelming with everything else goin on. Thanks for the kind words.
@@brt5273 same here.
Yes, it can break almost anyone. The world doesn’t need more humans anyhow.
His caregivers are amazing. God bless all of them
I don’t think the average person realizes the “spectrum” that families experience. They see an actor playing an Asperger person, or a high functioning Down’s syndrome actor, and think they understand. I had a work experience on a locked medical/mental ward specifically for extremely violent(murder/arson/etc) young teens/adults with developmental disabilities and TBI. It was full with a huge waiting list. The home based violent developmentally disabled locations are really a mixed bag in US. There is such a ludicrous attempt to have the ‘normal’ facade, that a TV will be replaced every week vs putting it behind a barrier, the walls end up looking like the first home, and neighbors have to put up with the screaming. Residents and staff aren’t safe, but looks like your average suburban home…Then they wonder why there’s a worker shortage! The way we take care of ALL vulnerable people needs to be re-examined. Take a deep breath. Stop trying to make everyone fit into one little mold, but BALANCE what works to keep everyone safe and healthy. They released the mentally ill to die on the streets, and it’s estimated 30% -40% of homeless have a cognitive impairment. I have a friend who’s siblings are separated by only a very few IQ points. This resulted in one living in a 4 bedroom house with 4 roommates, 24 hour staff, meals, medical care and programmed entertainment throughout the day. The other was ‘allowed’ to be homeless and no one has heard from them in a few years now…
I agree. I wish they could have reformed and improved the mental hospitals instead of closing them down and releasing people to the streets or putting them in group homes where the violent ones beat the day lights out of the staff, roommates and neighbors and constantly breaking things. I saw and experienced it countless times in the 1990s through 2018 when I stopped working in that job.
There was a fare share of the profoundly mentally disabled ones, who were on the sex offender list against children, due to a lack of proper training, teaching, and supervision. Dont get me wrong, Im not saying that all profoundly mentally disabled people are sex offenders, Im just saying that some were, but most of them were NOT.
Thankfully, most of them were like everyone else and just wanted to be happy, but sadly, many lacked the skills to deal with their emotions and life, which is where the training and experiencing life helps.
The main question is how could it possibly work? How can you make it so the violent ones can be safe and cared for without the staff being assaulted? How do we make it so they can better control themselves?
I saw one documentary were the mum sadly is at the end of her rope as her son has meltdowns and is violent, she use to hold him down because he would punch himself but he is too strong for that and will head butt her or bite her face. She now sticks boxing gloves on him to stop him beating himself because he would do it until he was bleeding. How can men like him be helped and taught not to injure themselves.
Medication is a mixed bag some do help but some others do nothing or make the situation worse.
As an autistic person, I don't want to be demonised by 'bad apples' because disabled people already have a difficult time and it's bad enough trying to get fair representation where you are treated like a capable, autonomous human being.
@@jamesalexander8193Proper staff to patient ratio, facility planning and layout, equipment, training, shift length (and proper compensation and leave times/rotation), medication and safe "seclusion" rooms all work together to ensure safety of both staff (who are in difficult position physically and mentally) and clients. Unfortunately it's all really, really expensive.
Real people with aspergers have much more complicated color than any one dimensional hollywood bazinga sheldon or praised introvert doctor with "super powers"
art imitates life just like you all said
On 11/11/97 my Gf an I had our son..she was 16..i was 17.. we are now married with 3 girls.. Our son will be 28 this November. We went through all this. Our son has been many different people. From a loving kind child to a quite withdrawin teen an a aggressive self harming adult. We had to change his diet, his activities and our way of dealing with the meltdowns. Its very hard sometimes but we trust one another in his care and glad to say his meltdowns are far an in-between. My heart goes out to your family an Steven and ill keep you and families like you in my prayers.. We're a Native American family and we see your love and this story has touched us and many like yours. Keep love going no matter what and Creator or whatever you believe will bless you.
mental health in most countries is a joke when it comes to autism in older teens and adults
Totally agree
Mental health is a joke period if ur not women🤦🏿
To the parents. I hope you see this comment. I was born with moderate cerebral palsy. I had an abusive caregiver and then grew up in residential programs and group homes
You’re a loving mother and it shows. Please have peace internally. You didn’t right thing for your beautiful son. He’s a very special person and I know you love him so loud and immensely
I wish I had parents like you. Bless you and your family. ❤
Such a beautiful comment 🤗
What a heartbreaking decision this family had to make ❤ you can tell they are still heartbroken about it. You had to make the best decision for both your son and your family
I have suffered with physical disability and after 20 years of continuous pain, serious mental health issues. I've considered suicide a lot but the moment I would lose control and attack my loved ones will be the last day on earth.
is this supposed to be an attack on a severely mentally disabled and incapacitated individual who has no concept of this?
I've felt this way too-I am chronically ill and often feel like caring for me causes pain to those around me. But I've also been on the other side-I'd guess losing you entirely would hurt them so deeply, perhaps even more than the pain of being hurt any other way. I'm so glad you're still here 💖
This isnt about you dork
@@lucy.brenn4n : Take a seat, Karen.
@@lucy.brenn4n not at all what OP seems to be commenting. Your comment isn't helpful.
I’m so scared that my 4 year old autistic daughter will regress or change out of nowhere and stop being the energetic, happy, affectionate girl I know. I can’t imagine anything more heartbreaking and terrifying than waking up one day to find a different person in place of your beloved child…
Ive been the victim of autistic violence.
10 years in therapy.
The pain in my face and back remains present to this day, 24 years later.
Its uncomfortable to hear about violent disabled people because our media is full of feel good cute disabled stories.
Firstly, I want to sympathise with you regarding your battle. It must have been extremely traumatising and to still live with the pain so many years later. I'm truly sorry.
I agree, autism became fashionable since they named it a spectrum. I get there are levels of autism, same with any other mental health illness. I recently listened to a biographer who shadowed Elon Musk, who was diagnosed with Asperges (when it still was named it). He said that Elon has a huge turnover of employees because of his aggression. Elon's ex called it "demon mode." He said they never knew when Elon would have outbursts. He can't handle stress like a normal person. He becomes frustrated and then aggressive, typical autism. The media and especially social media, must stop romanticising the illness. These are people who have brain damage in various degrees.
@ 100 % thank you
just stop it before it starts thats what my family did my brother would punch and kick my parents it lasted for 1 week and my dad punished him as he would us other kids its the best thing dad ever did my brother now will not be violent because he know he can not get away with it he deals with things in other ways now .....STOP IT BEFOR IT START YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND SOMETIMES .if you want it to get to a point where you cant look after him just let him do what he wants and just keep talking to him saying please dont do that see how that works out you
@@honeybunch5765As someone with high functioning autism or Aspergers or whatever you like to call it, this is true, Ion like how people romanticise Autism, although I haven’t had a meltdown in years, my little sister (Who is severely to moderately autistic) still has meltdowns and she screams really loud during them, sometimes she gets aggressive (Although rarely, she does) :/
You guys did an amazing job raising Steven and his life now seems to be in good hands. His care workers all look like big teddy bears who just wanna see the best for your son.
They mention that at 2 years old he 'got a virus' as though that changed his brain to become autistic rather than him being naturally orientated that way. This was quite vague and needs more explanation. Could there be a virus that attacks the brain in such a way that damages the brain's ability to cope with stress - for example the presence of tumours in the brain manifests symptoms of anger and emotional distress.
Could be PANDAS
I'm so sorry this happened to your family! Much love.
This mother’s love is so beautiful but what a heartbreaking story.❤🙏
It’s frightening to see your child doing so well and then they aren’t 😢
I feel so bad for him and the entire family.May God give Him the strength to overcome all his challenges
Seems God gave him tardpower
But God gave him the challenges in the first place?
Of course he was in with adults, he’s HUGE! And i know he’s too big and too strong for you two to handle, you can’t expect for him to be in a hospital around children
Parents should feel zero guilt about keeping the violence out of their lives.
Yeah but thats their child. Of course they're gonna feel bad about sending him away. There's a huge stigma around this sort of thing. So it's natural to feel shame. Not that they're wrong and the stigma is right. Just that I get where the self blame is coming from.
I have a 23yr old son just like him, I too was recently diagnosed with breast cancer so I know all too well how stressful it is to juggle treatment while looking after my son, most days I’m grateful my cancer was detected early but there are days that I wish it was terminal. I’m on my own, my husband left 8yrs ago because he wanted a life, NDIS isn’t much help because they are not set up for young adults who are hard to manage, I just take each day at a time, two years ago I started painting as a way of managing my stress and depression , Brian enjoys watching Big Bang and other programs and is very good at doing the recycling, he likes to go shopping and waves at everyone. there are good days and bad. He doesn’t like other disable people or dogs after being bitten by a strangers dog, this makes it had to go places like parks or Bunnings as he goes into extreme panic. I do feel my mental health sliding, and there is simply no care for the carers, I think if it wasn’t for painting I’d probably end it all…. But tomorrow’s another day isn’t it? and if I’m not around to look after my son then who will?
I’m so very sorry you’ve been dealt such difficult cards in life, it’s just not fair. I can’t say anything to make a difference to your situation but please know that there is someone out there thinking of you ❤
❤
I feel so bad for this family. As much love as they have for Steven they are aging and there will come a time when they would not be able to control him. I hope the whole family finds peace and know they did the right thing
I work in this field of caretaking and it’s really rewarding. I hope others consider it. ❤
you both are great parents who would go above and beyond than far more, i can feel your pain and tell its genuine. im so sorry
Hello, I was just crying 😭. This is what happened to my son. He got 6 shots and then got sick. Running a fever for a few hours after. Then the next day… he was different. My son is 16 now. He had to be in a group home. I have pictures. Your home looked like mine. He is still not okay. ABA therapy, Autism school, everything and I know… I just got a call today. He went off again. He is hurting people. Peace be with you. I know that pain. You do anything and everything…. Hugs from an Autism Mom.
Hugs to you too
@ thank you 😊
@@WomanVeteran just an autistic child and parent to an autistic child saying what makes me feel better. No need to thank me here
Same. Shots fever next day gone. Just not the same. Stopped walking talking eating sleeping eye contact. I'm going through exactly what they are. But my son is extremely agreessive all the time. Homes in walls hits himself bites me ect. He's 14. I'm scared all the time but I live him i couldn't live without him
@ Unfortunately I had to place him. I have known someone that got beat up and put in the hospital. I need to make sure we both are safe. It is hard. But I look at what is working for him not me. I will see him for Xmas. I won’t ever leave. Stay safe. Hugs 🤗
I used to be violent and have outbursts as a teenager, and the police were called on one occasion, but thankfully I'm low on the spectrum. I 'grew out' of it, and although I still have my difficulties sometimes, I couldn't imagine hurting my parents or family. Some of us aren't so lucky, and I can only imagine the pains of sending someone you love away.. but ultimately it's for his own safety and the family's. I hope he's doing okay! And the parents! They need a vacation.
I know this first hand. My conclusions after 30 years is, child is born, diagnosed with autism and because parents are shocked and upset , they will do anything to keep their child happy. They child is small and the parent is still able to manage any upsets. The child becomes a teen:young adult. They often have a late onset of puberty. They srart getting aggressive , they are bigger and stronger and it’s harder to manage. You suddenly have a huge angry adult toddler. They’ve often never had much expected of them. Everybody runs around trying to keep them happy so they are a huge , incompetent angry adult toddler. I would tell any parent of a young child with autism to have expectations, get them doing as much as the other children in the family, don’t pander to bad behaviours, don’t let screens and tv take over and try to allow your young adult to grow up . Finding the right residential setting for the young person when they are young . Don’t keep them at home being a mini tyrant as you parents are getting older and less able to cope. You do them a great disservice if you play into their obsessions and behaviours and have no expectations. Loving somebody is not about keeping them happy all the time. Like the mother packing the suitcase, carrying the suitcase and putting it in the car. The son should be doing that himself. And people with autism can do things. I’ve experienced it.
As someone who grew up with an autistic sibling that to this day isn't told "No" because it'll make him violent and upset, everything you're saying is true.
I come from a family with three autistic siblings. This hit home.
And I’m not just having a go at parents. I know it’s hard . There is so much guilt and worry that parents just try to manage but the child gets more and more difficult. We had people who went to school in a place where they learned skills as a young person and they worked in the garden, or learned a craft, found a niche in life at a young g age, farming or gardening etc… as adults they lived productive lives and had friends All be it slightly different. Theb I met people who lived at home until they were 30/40 and they suffered so much when their parents got too old to support them any more . They find it hard to adjust and they are distracted . I’d want the former for my child if they had autism. Also siblings suffer too. We did some family support groups and they were very important to the families. Stuff came up from way back. We don’t need to feel sorry for people with disabilities, we need to give them the skills to manage their lives .
i am NOT a "person with autism". I am AUTISTIC. and its beautiful. but that said the rest of your comment is absolutey true. that can be the case... i wasnt diagnosed until i sought out a diagnosis at 20 years old. i am glad, so glad i was diagnosed later in life. i have an extensive vocabulary because my mom read to me every night. i am in university because as a kid i had the option to do the schoolwork or pick potato bugs in the garden. my brothers are neurotypical and we were all raised the same. to understand respect, and work ethic and to do our best but never let anyone tell us we werent good enough. to be solution focused and use our imaginations to find solutions. to be resourceful and know that no one was gpoing to save us from the consequences of our actions so we have better be very very very careful in life. dont take stupid risks. when i was 4 i remember throwing a fit in the store. my mom didnt buy me what i wanted nor did she get angry. she simply walked to the cash and said "okay! im leaving! see you later!, i guess your staying here for the night!" i remember running after her "mommy! mommy!" her response was, "well you better keep up or youll get left behind.. im going home so if your coming with me, get in the car." i thank her for all her love and support and im extremely close with her . im looking after her in her older years just as i saw her look after my grandparents. i learned alot through her modelling what to do and what not to do, and imitating her. so no, your little theory isnt always what happens but it can be when parents dont want to parent anymore. instead they want to cater because they are so scared of being called abusive if they discipline their kids. its ridiculous. child services needs to cast a much narrower net AND there needs to be consequences for making false reports. simple as that.
You cannot force an autistic person to be normal and the part about obsessions is just nit picking. Liking something a lot hurts nobody. You will be fine, old man.
How sad. So scary to see him as a responsive and smiling toddler.
No real quality of life is it? 3 full time minders must cost a fortune. Controlled by meds and food. I think the mum [probably dad too] are afraid of their child. It is a shame, and I feel sorry for all involved.
Everyone looked so much happier in the end! That’s what it’s about, his parents can breathe knowing he is safe and he can get the attention and help he needs from professionals, not saying his parents didn’t.
Autistic people are wired differently with different personalities. My cousin is nonverbal, his parents love and understand him and help him so much. Som autistic are violent and need specialized help. Others are full functioning with their own apartment and job. I pray your son gets the help he needs.
just stop it before it starts thats what my family did my brother would punch and kick my parents it lasted for 1 week and my dad punished him as he would us other kids its the best thing dad ever did my brother now will not be violent because he know he can not get away with it he deals with things in other ways now .....STOP IT BEFOR IT START YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND SOMETIMES .if you want it to get to a point where you cant look after him just let him do what he wants and just keep talking to him saying please dont do that see how that works out you
Its heartbreaking, they really truly loved him, and didnt want him to go, but of course he needed a specific kind of care. And i hope it worked out for him 🙏
My best friends non-verbal autistic brother is like this. He doesn't live with the family and only comes to visit during holidays. He's just too violent to live with his family full-time.
A 3 or 4 year old still knows not to be naughty and violent . This poor family especially mum who was having a mastectomy. They look so exhausted and sad. life just isn't fare to some people
Did you miss the part where he is autistic?
Yep! Even toddlers know not to be naughty and violent. Even toddlers have a sense of morality. Autistics CHOOSE not to regulate themselves.
Be grateful to God that you live in a country that will take him away. In my country, parents are forced to take care of these dangerous children.
Omg 😧 I’m so sorry to this family. Everyone is so tired and broken
This reminds me of my schizophrenic brother. When he was locked up he used to call us all the time. Now he's free but he's off in his own world. He's not even on social media anymore.
Social media is a cesspool for narcissists
i only see this with parents that dont know how to deal with them growing up just because they have some problem does not mean you cant teach them right from wrong i have never seen strict parents with kids like this
And what sucks about any government is people ask for help but dont get it but if they get arrested or on drugs or etc etc they get all the help and its not fair how that goes
We need to bring back asylums for these people.
Dankjewel voor de zorg en het geduld 🙏❤️🙏
I’m autistic and I believe autistic children sometimes need more discipline, not less then the average child.
You guys are amazing parents, an amazing family. You did what you HAD to do. He was a danger to himself, and YOU guys.. this way he can be safe and imagine how horrific he'd feel if he hurt you guys.. or worse. He has special needs, and they're helping with that.
Utterly heartbreaking 💔
Utterly beautiful.
Sometimes the right thing for parents to do is let go. Remember, this is also happening in our schools.
I’m so sorry for all of the pain and worry that you have all been through and continue to live with every day.God bless you all.
I couldn’t do this, I commend these people who care for him. It must be so difficult. I honestly don’t think I could handle having a child this mentally ill.
That is absolutely ridiculous, no normal good people should I have to deal with something like that. Is 21 hopefully he gets help definitely needs medication or an increase if he already is prescribed. Big boy is 21 years old let him know that you guys cannot have him live there because you cannot afford to pay for more damage. Ones like this are a problem for life. They might be good for a while but then he'll come back, then he'll go back to being good and so on a neverending nightmare
Hi Steven ❤ you’re a wonderful person and you did the best job you could do. I fully support you hun.
I hope and pray he finds a happy balance, with the help of medication and therapy, to be able to control himself, and be a part of the family. And Thank God for his carers! Those guys need to be compensated heavily for all they do...because there's NO way someone takes on that career simply for the money...there must be a great heart involved! 💜💜💜
That little kiss ritual is so heart warming. Praying for health, wellness and all good things for them!
One of the saddest & yet, most uplifting videos ever ❤❤❤ xxx
I'm autistic myself but I'm functioning and able to talk. I feel sympathy for the parents and the guy as no-one asked for this.
I struggle with autism as well. Im in the higher functioning category though. We all just want our kids to be happy. I deal with stemming and I hate to be touched by anyone except my girlfriend. As I've been getting older my stress levels and sensitivity have increased. Noises, touch, visual it has all gotten worse. I don't consider myself non verbal but for the first 5 years of my life I barely talked had a good therapist that helped me use my words instead of screaming.
In this case you guys did the right thing. It's hard to raise an autistic adult. Trust me it's hard for me to deal with my own problems.
You sent him away because you love him and he's needs more help than you can provide. I hope he's doing well now. I hope you guys get to visit.
If you are able to type this on UA-cam you are not autistic. People stop. Us parents are struggling, TRULY STRUGGLING and crying all the time wondering what will happen to our kids if we die suddenly and our kids can’t get REAL BIOMEDICAL HELP because people like you go around saying you’re autistic because you have psychosocial issues that can be addressed through therapy. OUR KIDS CAN’T LIVE ON THEIR OWN WITH THERAPY, EVER. Stop this now. You aren’t helping.
@@techiebliss I don't give a crap what you think I was diagnosed with autism. You are the problem assuming that autistic people can't function or even write a comment on UA-cam. Autism is a spectrum. Why would I pretend to be autistic? It is fucking debilitating. It's hard for me to be in places with a lot of people. Sounds make my skin crawl. I can't even hug my own parents without feeling weird. I do it but I don't like it. Don't fucking assume something just because you are ignorant to autism and it's spectrum.
@@techieblisspsychologists that diagnose this person know a lot more than you ever will, so cut the cráp. You have no room to yap about what you wrongly think autism is. Like it or not, it is a massive spectrum. We are not all the more severe side of it. Do everyone a favor, and don’t talk about subjects you clearly know nothing about. If you actually have a child with autism and you’re this bigoted and miseducated about it I feel so so horrible for them. The way you view them, treat them and infantilize people with the disability has to be horrendous.
@@Linds-oz1oz They often aren’t diagnosed by psychologists but by “Behavioral Analysts” who are not trained in neurology or even BIOLOGY. It’s a SCAM. You have no idea who I am and what I know. I’ve been researching this for ten years now for my child and I have the test results proving heavy metal contamination. How many years have you put into doing independent research?
He really did seem like a typical little toddler. It honestly seems like that virus triggered or caused those changes! So glad you had videos of him because it seems so apparent he was born neural typical. e
No animal should be expected to live like this. There shouldn't be any pets in situations like this.
Mental health needs more state support ... its so unfortunate.
The big caretaker seems like he has the right energy for Stephen.
The problem is mental health hospitals and mental health in general really just disregard autism and especially high on the spectrum, ive seen it myself when i was sectioned and i felt so bad for these people who had autism around me. I mean in general mental hospitals are horrible but they should have seperate ones and easier to handle for autistic people.
I dont think I would be mentally capable of handling a child like this. Like how do you even go about this????
This is the side of autism we rarely get to see. Yes it’s very rare, but it’s a serious problem with the lack of funding or even concern from governments both in Aus and NZ. The funding cuts to the NDIS are disgraceful. Much love to these amazing parents who’ve had to make the hardest decision to protect their safety and mental health. I can’t imagine the burden these circumstances would feel like at times. But still they don’t complain are patient and loving towards their children, amazing video origin❤️ P.s that kiwi caretaker of Elliot seems like the sweetest soul🥺(no surprises tho kiwis are generally super compassionate and lovely!).
Not autism, just a raging moid that should been in jail
it’s not rare at all, they just don’t show this to the public because they don’t want people to realize how serious it is and how much more serious it’s going to get when these kids are becoming middle-aged adults and the parents are passing away…. and there’s nowhere for them to go. What’s going to happen to them?? They don’t want us thinking about that. It’s all going to blow up soon.
@@techieblissit’s a massive spectrum. There’s plenty of us that are normal functioning adults. There’s others who are stuck in homes their whole lives, there’s been numerous geniuses like Einstein that have been autistic, and there’s symptoms everywhere in between. Autistic adults have existed for as long as we’ve been able to record. They just didn’t have proper terms or technology to properly categorize it until more recently in history. It either went undiagnosed, and the person was just considered to be weird, or on the more severe side, they were deemed “r*tarded” and locked away from the rest of society. Please don’t talk about subjects you clearly don’t know about. The most severe cases most certainly need to be taken more seriously, and the lack of help they get is horrific. That I agree with, but that doesn’t account for all of us, or even the majority really.
@@Linds-oz1oz NO. It’s a scam to write tons of prescriptions to people who don’t need them, WAKE UP ALREADY. You can’t combine neurodevelopmental impairment with psychosocial awkwardness, those are two completely different things that have nothing to do with a “spectrum”. Autism is an umbrella term to cover up what is happening to these kids from environmental toxins put out by multibillion dollar industries. It’s GATEKEEPING.
@@techieblissPeople with disabilities go into a group home when their parents pass away or can no longer care for them. I have disabilities and have accepted that, down the line, I will be in a group home someday.
Well-run services like these, with fantastic staff, are godsends and lifesavers for everyone. They’re only funded when the public organize and demand critically needed human services like these, from mental health to medical services, to help for those with profound disabilities. It’s part of who we are as humans to nurture and do whatever we can to help individuals and families with things like this. Great documentary and best wishes to this family and the community care providers.
Post viral illness sounds more like PANDAS than autism no?
I had the same thought- the symptoms can be very similar
@@wuddafxupppsounds like your braindead to me
@@wuddafxupppwhat?
It’s great u found help for him wish they had like that for my brother here a home of his own with carers of his own would never happen in Canada unless your minted
For sure
Thank you for sharing your story!❤
My brother in law is like this. But his parents refuse to put him in a group home. My father in law kicked me out because his ex wife forced my brother in law off on him because he got kicked out of his last place for trying to kill his roommate. He's lived with his dad for 9 years now and destroyed the house i helped fix up while his dad was gone for weeks as a truck driver. Then when he had retire due to a back injury my brother in law tried to kill him. My husband had to move in to pay the bills and protect his dad because his other brother didn't feel like putting up with all of it. So im living with my family because there's no room for me there and im in constant danger whenever im there for more than an hour. I've seriously considered divorce but we cant afford it. Originally me and my husband were living with his dad because we couldn't afford a place of our own and the deal was that i would cook and clean while he was away and my husband would work to pay the bills and fix anything that needed fixing. His dad would send money to help pay the bills and any repairs my husband couldn't do. 9 years after my brother in law moved in and i moved out the house is barely recognizable. It's full of filth and animals. My father in law lives in his room while my brother in law has the rest of the house. My husband lives in a barely functioning camper in the backyard and only comes in the house to take his dad to the doctor or take a shower. He's constantly working and hardly ever home. Any time my husband has tried to stand up to his brother he has been arrested because the neighbors or his mother calls the police on my husband for 'hurting her baby'. My brother in law never sits in jail for more than a night and gets special treatment because he's got an illness. The police know he's dangerous but blame my husband and just tell his dad to make sure he takes his medication. He never does. All he does is drink and get high with the few friends he has. He steals any money my husband sets aside to get our own place nearby so we can check on dad. Even if we did get a place we know the brother would force his way in and we can't do anything about it.
❤ sounds bipolar... my son died from the consequences of the illness. I loved my son so deeply, but it was unbelievably hard. He was violent at home he went into state care at 16. I won't get hurt in my own home. It broke him, and it still hurts me greatly to think about it, but he was violent as a toddler, slept through the night, first time, age 11. Being around him was always walking on eggshells
Autism is not a mental health disorder unfortunately here in the UK the mental health team’s cannot admit people with this disorder, not enough support out there
nor do they care
My nephew has autism with 2 other conditions adhd and dypraxia. We had some support when he was a teenager, clubs for special needs which he enjoyed at 18yrsold.everything seemed to stop. i asked for some support for him as a young adult. Was told he wasn't on the autism system and would pass on to the mental health team. Which I declined. I agree with you. Same words I spoke when I refused the referral to mental health. Autism is completely different and completed with different functioning levels for each person. Most have other disability dypraxia is a disability but some professionals say different. This is why mental health services are failing people to many are being referred when they need completely different care and support. If professionals would stop the textbook approach and speak out and support families with autism needs. Then some change might come. If nobody speaks or highlights, there needs no funding would been put in place for special care. I even had teams around me at a meeting saying they hadn't got it yet. We don't understand their needs yet. How could I work with a team for support and a care plan when professionals didn't understand his needs. This is in the UK. L.C.Council.
That’s not true. Autistic people, even those without other conditions, are frequently sectioned in the UK and put in inappropriate hospital environments. It’s a real issue that’s been in the news a lot.
His carers are basically a security detail. Steven essentially needs 3 Maori bouncers to keep him from damaging property, himself or his family.