When Shame Blocks Repair
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- Опубліковано 18 жов 2024
- In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra confronts a common roadblock to repair: shame. Often, in the wake of relational harm, feelings of shame secretly run the show, causing you to get combative and defensive or freeze, flee, or fawn in essential moments. Dr. Alexandra provides strategies for moving from shame into action-so that you can make yourself available for repair-and gives tangible tips for how to make a heartfelt and effective apology.
Relevant links:
Access this episode's companion worksheet here (dralexandrasol...)
Reimagining Love episode: "Why Can't I Get Over It?" (link.chtbl.com...)
Dr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or Deceit (courses.dralex...)
Brené Brown's TED Talk: Listening to Shame ( • Listening to shame | B... )
Building Self-Esteem: How Learning from Shame Helps Us to Grow (bookshop.org/p...) by Joseph Burgo
Order Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every Day (bookshop.org/p...)
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter (dralexandrasol...)
Submit a Listener Question (form.jotform.c...)
Hey Reimagining Love Listeners! Quick note here that we’re publishing new episodes on an every other week schedule with occasional bonus episodes sprinkled throughout, at least until the end of the year. If you're craving more content in the meantime, you can always search the back catalog and/or find juicy blog posts and other resources at dralexandrasolomon.com (dralexandrasolo...) .
Always on point. You are salve
Thank you Alexandra for this discussion around Shame. I feel like we don't really identify where shame deep down comes from. Tim Fletcher talks a lot about Complex Trauma and there being an incongruence with our hurtful trauma responsive behavior and our true authentic selves. Reflecting back on my own experiences until I fully owned that my hurtful actions were not in alignment with my core identity, I was incapable of remorse even if I outwardly was apologetic.
Your talks are brilliant. Very valuable however I would love it if you would slow down just a little bit so that I could absorb more of it. Your perspective is unique and has helped me understand in a confusing situation. Thank you.
Such wisdom. Thank you 🙏