There is sometimes an inclination to spend a first date with selling yourself rather than learning about the other person. After the date, one measure of its success ought to include what you learned about your date. If you can’t think of anything you heard, you were short-changed, and it may have been because you talked too much or didn’t listen enough.
All I do on a first date is decide if I want a second one. If I like her enough I suggest meeting again, If she likes me enough she will probably accept. Don't over think the first date, guys.
This is the first video I've seen of yours where you said "ughmnm". I appreciate that you're typically eloquent and well spoken in your videos. Also great advice about not paying for dating apps. I've made that mistake before and it certainly didn't tilt the innate bias towards myself as a man.
I'm increasingly not using notes and speaking just off-hand, so that may happen over my next few videos. But I hope you appreciate the authenticity, even if it comes with the odd mistake.
@@Gent.Zmuch appreciated man. As someone who was the only one who spoke in front of 500+ people at an MUN conference in high school without any written cards in front of me, it is so much more rewarding when you can feel that connection without having to look at a script every 3 seconds. Keep going and speak from the heart brother
Instead of taking a first date to a movie or to a dinner (you can't talk much during those) I would take them to the Zoo. Why? Because in the zoo we could spend hours talking about the antics of the monkeys or the beauty of a tiger, etc, etc. and get to know more about each other than we could have in a movie or restaurant. No zoo where you live? Then how about a museum?
Personally I enjoy dinner and I think it's a good environment for conversation. A zoo or museum date could be fun too. What makes a good date idea is highly personalized - its about picking an environment that brings out your best self. However, bear in mind that some people have ethical objections to zoos.
I didn't say 99% of me have multiple dates a week. And I believe fewer high quality dates would be a better approach. How come you think you're struggling to land first dates?
@@littlekingtrashmouth9219 work out Chief. I know plenty of dudes with hot girlfriends, and wives, who are balding or bald. What is their secret? They are in great shape, confident ASF, and are manly sonasbitcxes who wear their work wear as a bade of honor. So stop making excuses and get after it
Me too, let's change it this year! We've heard some great advices :) My mistakes - very little social exposure, I work in a closed circle, I spend a lot of time and energy at work (I'm a MD), and I do my hobbies alone (gym, running, reading, classical music concerts)
I never found the allure of splitting my time between multiple women. Pick one and invest in that time together. Even if it turns into a short fling you'll still enjoy your time with her more than having multiple short meet ups with a rotation of women. Focusing on one woman at a time doesn't make you a simp, it makes you a decent human being.
No physical attraction and no personality = no attention No physical attraction but good personality = friends Physical attraction but no personality = lust Physical attraction and good personality = love
What he says is true. You need good pictures, and sound interesting in your bio. Also try to start your conversations with the girls you're interested in with funny/ unconventional ways. A simple " hi, how are you" is so boring to them
@@RMS12.2that doesn't work either, tbh I made a joke account and i got more conversations than actual effort made into my real account I posted chad filter photos made myself 7ft 11 tall, said i had a hampster and went to the pinkerwinkle Oppenheimer school of personality and some how raked in likes and matchs They only liked because it was funny none of them actually went anywhere
Most don't, but some who are fixated on dating do. In fact, many dating coaches make it an objective for their clients. I, however, think it is a weak strategy.
If you’re really focused on dating and have some good game you can easily have 3-5 dates lined up in a week. To me that is too much though. The information you learn about your dates start blending together and it starts to feel more like an obligation than fun.
@@MTkr19 I understand. But i think that 99% percent of guys will never have 3-5 dates in one week in their life.(Sorry about my english) All other advices in this video are good, but this advice(3-5 dates...) is something that 99% percent of guys will never need.
I think that James is at least partially wrong about using the dating app filter to screen out woman based on religion. If a man just wants to go out and have a good time, then don't use the religion filter. If however, the man is using the dating app to search for a potential wife, then filtering out women of other religions is good if the man is serious about his religious practices. The more beliefs and customs that a couple share, helps them form tighter bonds. The more bonds a couple have, the easier it will be for them to decide to be permanently together . It also helps when children are involved because the children will not be able to play one parent against the other.
James at 8:13 you can see the lighting in the video is casting a hard shadow on the wall by pantry/washer doors. (I noticed it at this mark it may appear elsewhere).
Be sure to show photos of you playing a video game, sitting on the couch, at the bar with several guys and everyone with blood shot eyes, and finally ensure you are wearing sunglasses in each photo. Volia! You are ready!
Woman that I married she went on date day before our date Guy wore shorts and jersey and their date was just Starbucks When I took her on first date I wore proper grey suit and our date involved steak house tea room & ended on beach with fire I had someone pre set She almost canceled my date after her awful experience Guy wouldn’t even offer to pay for Starbucks
Last night I have a date and get laid at the first for me can be determinate if is a long term relationship or something less worth. I preffer know the woman and have same values,quality always than quantity. Happy new year and this is my first 2025 date,not bad,stay tune and be a Gary Grant. PD: Dating apps are not a wise way to know womans,the old ways,go to good places,not bars,pubs or night clubs aren't quality places. Quality places are church,some dance school,within your contacts even in a marriage celebration.
My wife was a virgin when we met. Been married now for over 31 years. I’m a GenXer and old school. I’m personally happy my wife wasn’t ran through, to be brutally honest, like most women are today 😮. Now don’t get me wrong, I did shoplift the poody before I met my wife when I was 19. Those easy girls were fun but not anyone I would consider marrying.
To be honest if my bf made a comment like this about me, I'd leave him. If you care so much about finding a virgin, you should be one yourself 🤦 hold yourself up to your own standards. In my eyes, you're the one thats ran through in your relationship.
If you are dating with an eye towards marriage, you shouldnt have sex with her until you're married. I can't imagine many gentleman of the past would marry a woman who was willing to have premarital sex with him after a few dates. We need to bring back higher standards!
That's a personal standard and I'm not here to tell men what their attitude ought to be. Personally, however, I would never withhold sex until marriage.
I mean....I think it depends on the person at the end of the day. I have never met a man (in general) who didn't like sex or was willing to wait that long. Likewise I have never heard any women say they would like to wait until marriage. I'm not saying people who are willing to wait don't exist but moreso they are "rare". But at the end of the day, everyone has their own preference.
@@anyaaa2801 People are allowed to make their own choices of course, and I'm going to preface the following by saying that I'm not naive and am aware premarital sex has always existed in some form. However, up until extremely recently (50-60 years ago) abstinence was the expected standard for marriage throughout human history across most cultures, so both men and women are clearly more than capable of behaving in this way. I would argue that this old standard existed for good reason. This modern attitude shift in regards to sex has been a net negative for society and is one of the main reasons why almost all marriages end in divorce today.
My wife was a virgin when we met. Been married now for over 31 years. I’m a GenXer and old school. I’m personally happy my wife wasn’t ran through, to be brutally honest, like most women are today 😮
I take it it’s just James’ personal view on the matter. Dating apps have been discussed to great lengths so I won’t spend my time commenting on this. Regarding the last one, he sounds way too old-fashioned, and then some. Even people from 100s of years ago did make sex before marriage (which was presumably their first date). Not trying to disrespect his effort to put this video together but it’s a set of the poorest pieces of advice one can get regarding dating. Last but not least, if you get to have 5 dates each week, you must be a Chad who does not actually need advice on dating, otherwise no chance to arrange more than 1 date a week or even less.
@@Gent.Z The thumbnails with beautiful women and more risque topics. I enjoy listening to your videos in work and its both not something I'm interested in and I wouldn't feel comfortable if someone saw me listening to them. I know there might be a big market for these type of videos but it's not me. Loved your style videos and I've learned so much from them. =)
i'm gay but not dating. happily single and focusing on my style. slowly getting out of lounge pants and into emo pants from hot topic and working on wearing my spiky bracelets without having to take them off constantly. been wearing platform boots for about a year
its always the ones hiding with no profile pic that talk about other people’s appearance. why is that? that and youre doing nothing important with your life and so havent the capacity to appreciate that this gentleman is. your negativity reveals your despair. there is hope. may you find some.
Tiege Hanley: Get your first box 40% off (+ FREE gift), and 20% off for life, at tiege.com/gentzmake
I have a date tonight. Wish me luck Gents.
you got this
Good luck, sir
good luck
Good luck, u got this!
Hope you will spend your time the way you want to!
There is sometimes an inclination to spend a first date with selling yourself rather than learning about the other person. After the date, one measure of its success ought to include what you learned about your date. If you can’t think of anything you heard, you were short-changed, and it may have been because you talked too much or didn’t listen enough.
That's a very good point, Crystal. I encourage men to reflect on their dates more. Even to keep a dating journal.
All I do on a first date is decide if I want a second one. If I like her enough I suggest meeting again, If she likes me enough she will probably accept. Don't over think the first date, guys.
If you don't really feel attracted to her but if she has good personality would you go on a second and third date?
@palindrome06 If I'm not really physically attracted to her I'm not asking her out in the first place. So to answer your question; No.
This is the first video I've seen of yours where you said "ughmnm". I appreciate that you're typically eloquent and well spoken in your videos.
Also great advice about not paying for dating apps. I've made that mistake before and it certainly didn't tilt the innate bias towards myself as a man.
I'm increasingly not using notes and speaking just off-hand, so that may happen over my next few videos. But I hope you appreciate the authenticity, even if it comes with the odd mistake.
@@Gent.Zmuch appreciated man. As someone who was the only one who spoke in front of 500+ people at an MUN conference in high school without any written cards in front of me, it is so much more rewarding when you can feel that connection without having to look at a script every 3 seconds. Keep going and speak from the heart brother
Instead of taking a first date to a movie or to a dinner (you can't talk much during those) I would take them to the Zoo. Why? Because in the zoo we could spend hours talking about the antics of the monkeys or the beauty of a tiger, etc, etc. and get to know more about each other than we could have in a movie or restaurant. No zoo where you live? Then how about a museum?
Personally I enjoy dinner and I think it's a good environment for conversation. A zoo or museum date could be fun too. What makes a good date idea is highly personalized - its about picking an environment that brings out your best self. However, bear in mind that some people have ethical objections to zoos.
Just no monkey business, Kemo Sabe
When I was in dating World my policy was date one girl at the time but do it with full effort and attention
99% of men today: multiple dates a week? I'd be happy to get one a year.
I didn't say 99% of me have multiple dates a week. And I believe fewer high quality dates would be a better approach. How come you think you're struggling to land first dates?
@@Gent.Zbecause I’m balding and have a blue collar job. What color is the sky in your world?
@@littlekingtrashmouth9219 work out Chief. I know plenty of dudes with hot girlfriends, and wives, who are balding or bald. What is their secret? They are in great shape, confident ASF, and are manly sonasbitcxes who wear their work wear as a bade of honor. So stop making excuses and get after it
Me too, let's change it this year! We've heard some great advices :) My mistakes - very little social exposure, I work in a closed circle, I spend a lot of time and energy at work (I'm a MD), and I do my hobbies alone (gym, running, reading, classical music concerts)
I never found the allure of splitting my time between multiple women. Pick one and invest in that time together. Even if it turns into a short fling you'll still enjoy your time with her more than having multiple short meet ups with a rotation of women. Focusing on one woman at a time doesn't make you a simp, it makes you a decent human being.
No physical attraction and no personality = no attention
No physical attraction but good personality = friends
Physical attraction but no personality = lust
Physical attraction and good personality = love
Remember that physical attraction and personality are highly subjective
@@Gent.Z Indeed. And thank God it is. Evolution would be impossible otherwise.
We need an end video short recap. That is indeed very helpful. ❤
Good common sense suggestions. Liked them. Happy New Year ! To all !
Dating apps? Not one date from all the years I’ve used them.
What he says is true. You need good pictures, and sound interesting in your bio.
Also try to start your conversations with the girls you're interested in with funny/ unconventional ways. A simple " hi, how are you" is so boring to them
@@RMS12.2that doesn't work either, tbh I made a joke account and i got more conversations than actual effort made into my real account
I posted chad filter photos made myself 7ft 11 tall, said i had a hampster and went to the pinkerwinkle Oppenheimer school of personality and some how raked in likes and matchs
They only liked because it was funny none of them actually went anywhere
i love your videos james. 👍
You really think that guys go to date 3-5 times per week? Guys, am i wrong?
Most don't, but some who are fixated on dating do. In fact, many dating coaches make it an objective for their clients. I, however, think it is a weak strategy.
If you’re really focused on dating and have some good game you can easily have 3-5 dates lined up in a week. To me that is too much though. The information you learn about your dates start blending together and it starts to feel more like an obligation than fun.
For real… if i had enough game to go on 3-4 dates a week, id already be married with kids.
@@MTkr19 I understand. But i think that 99% percent of guys will never have 3-5 dates in one week in their life.(Sorry about my english) All other advices in this video are good, but this advice(3-5 dates...) is something that 99% percent of guys will never need.
@@jaysibiri For sure, thats what im trying to explain 😂
But stop this first date has to be dinner in front of each other nonsense.
I never said it has to be dinner, but that's what I personally enjoy the most.
I think that James is at least partially wrong about using the dating app filter to screen out woman based on religion. If a man just wants to go out and have a good time, then don't use the religion filter. If however, the man is using the dating app to search for a potential wife, then filtering out women of other religions is good if the man is serious about his religious practices. The more beliefs and customs that a couple share, helps them form tighter bonds. The more bonds a couple have, the easier it will be for them to decide to be permanently together . It also helps when children are involved because the children will not be able to play one parent against the other.
James at 8:13 you can see the lighting in the video is casting a hard shadow on the wall by pantry/washer doors. (I noticed it at this mark it may appear elsewhere).
Be sure to show photos of you playing a video game, sitting on the couch, at the bar with several guys and everyone with blood shot eyes, and finally ensure you are wearing sunglasses in each photo. Volia! You are ready!
Dating is equivalent to an MXC episode... sounds about right, LET'S go!
Woman that I married she went on date day before our date
Guy wore shorts and jersey and their date was just Starbucks
When I took her on first date I wore proper grey suit and our date involved steak house tea room & ended on beach with fire I had someone pre set
She almost canceled my date after her awful experience
Guy wouldn’t even offer to pay for Starbucks
Otimo conteudo fino senhor 🗿🍷
Thanks very much
Yall are going on dates?
Last night I have a date and get laid at the first for me can be determinate if is a long term relationship or something less worth. I preffer know the woman and have same values,quality always than quantity. Happy new year and this is my first 2025 date,not bad,stay tune and be a Gary Grant.
PD: Dating apps are not a wise way to know womans,the old ways,go to good places,not bars,pubs or night clubs aren't quality places. Quality places are church,some dance school,within your contacts even in a marriage celebration.
7:54 you say that like it's a bad thing
I think you should remain open-minded in the earliest stages
some of the they/them girls are super hot so filterering them out would be a shame
My wife was a virgin when we met. Been married now for over 31 years. I’m a GenXer and old school. I’m personally happy my wife wasn’t ran through, to be brutally honest, like most women are today 😮. Now don’t get me wrong, I did shoplift the poody before I met my wife when I was 19. Those easy girls were fun but not anyone I would consider marrying.
To be honest if my bf made a comment like this about me, I'd leave him. If you care so much about finding a virgin, you should be one yourself 🤦 hold yourself up to your own standards. In my eyes, you're the one thats ran through in your relationship.
Too many dates? I got one date last year.
How’s about a collab with Wade Wilson to discuss female logic in the dating market. Wade’s crushing it over there on death row.
If you are dating with an eye towards marriage, you shouldnt have sex with her until you're married. I can't imagine many gentleman of the past would marry a woman who was willing to have premarital sex with him after a few dates. We need to bring back higher standards!
i have to disagree with that. you gotta know what they're into before marriage
That's a personal standard and I'm not here to tell men what their attitude ought to be. Personally, however, I would never withhold sex until marriage.
I mean....I think it depends on the person at the end of the day. I have never met a man (in general) who didn't like sex or was willing to wait that long. Likewise I have never heard any women say they would like to wait until marriage. I'm not saying people who are willing to wait don't exist but moreso they are "rare".
But at the end of the day, everyone has their own preference.
@@anyaaa2801 People are allowed to make their own choices of course, and I'm going to preface the following by saying that I'm not naive and am aware premarital sex has always existed in some form.
However, up until extremely recently (50-60 years ago) abstinence was the expected standard for marriage throughout human history across most cultures, so both men and women are clearly more than capable of behaving in this way.
I would argue that this old standard existed for good reason. This modern attitude shift in regards to sex has been a net negative for society and is one of the main reasons why almost all marriages end in divorce today.
My wife was a virgin when we met. Been married now for over 31 years. I’m a GenXer and old school. I’m personally happy my wife wasn’t ran through, to be brutally honest, like most women are today 😮
I take it it’s just James’ personal view on the matter. Dating apps have been discussed to great lengths so I won’t spend my time commenting on this. Regarding the last one, he sounds way too old-fashioned, and then some. Even people from 100s of years ago did make sex before marriage (which was presumably their first date). Not trying to disrespect his effort to put this video together but it’s a set of the poorest pieces of advice one can get regarding dating. Last but not least, if you get to have 5 dates each week, you must be a Chad who does not actually need advice on dating, otherwise no chance to arrange more than 1 date a week or even less.
I still date my wife.
Sorry James I love the channel but not your most recent videos.
How come? I welcome any constructive feedback
@@Gent.Z The thumbnails with beautiful women and more risque topics. I enjoy listening to your videos in work and its both not something I'm interested in and I wouldn't feel comfortable if someone saw me listening to them. I know there might be a big market for these type of videos but it's not me. Loved your style videos and I've learned so much from them. =)
The "sex on the first date" mindset is always trash to have going into it. Just let it flow effortlessly... 🙏🏾
💯
I’d like to know what it was like again. It’s so alien to me nowadays that I’d like to do it purely as an anthropological study. And to break a slump
Sex on the last date--much better.
i'm gay but not dating. happily single and focusing on my style. slowly getting out of lounge pants and into emo pants from hot topic and working on wearing my spiky bracelets without having to take them off constantly. been wearing platform boots for about a year
I don’t think this channel is for you.
Sex on the first date and am off to the next one🤙.
This dude looks like his parents were brother and sister.
Huh? Anything else constructive in that brain of yours?
its always the ones hiding with no profile pic that talk about other people’s appearance. why is that? that and youre doing nothing important with your life and so havent the capacity to appreciate that this gentleman is. your negativity reveals your despair. there is hope. may you find some.
@@futureselfnow You're not even literate. Now run along and buy some off-brand skincare products from this guy.
Too many dates? I got one date last year.