Why BLACK FATHERS teach their DAUGHTERS to be INDEPENDENT
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- Опубліковано 22 сер 2024
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I was born in the 70s. My father used to tell me almost from birth that I needed to be independent. He would say, "Don't let yourself be in a situation where the man comes in and hands you money for groceries and your shoes, and you don't have control over anything else. And then when he starts acting stupid, you have to stay. Be independent and have your own!" I took his advice and I'm happy.
Absolutely. Men need to know that you have the means to leave if you want to. If you don't have a way to leave, they will take advantage because they know you can't go nowhere. This is also why they don't want you to eork. If they control the money, they control you. These stay at home Moms need to create business/side hustles that they can do while he's at work.
Exactly, men who don't speak with a forked tongue will say the truth
Exactly except my dad said it to all of us even the boys. They should know how to cook clean and wash their own clothes so you don't have to be somewhere you don't want to be because you can't do it for yourself.
Yes my sweet mother was in this situation and passed away so young, aged way faster because she was trapped. He is 12 years older and barely aged. He is stingy, doesn’t share money, bipolar and negative for no reason, cant communicate, didn’t listen to her great advice.
It doesn’t matter If you are the sweetest perfect housewife. They will take you for granted.
Don’t be trapped.
Sis was born in the 80s and my father raised me and told me the same thing. He said it would break his heart if I was caught in an abusive or unhealthy relationship and was stuck because I had to depend on my mate to survive.
It baffles me how these men keeps blaming everyone else but themselves. They DEMAND respect, to be treated as a KINGS and yet are not taking responsibilities that comes with the territory🙄
EXACTLY.
Yep 💫
They want the title of a king, not the characteristics of one.
@@kyrianjoseph1403where they do that at? Name one developed nation w that mindset?
Man, I did a commentary on your advice to men on how to level up, and I was attacked in the comments. You're right, I told my daughters to get their own. My oldest daughter is facing one of those toxic situations right now. When she first met this cat, my wife and I said he ain't the one, but she was hard-headed and married him anyway. He has an awesome mind for business, but his low self-esteem is his Achilles heal, and he takes out his frustration verbally on her. We helped her get away once before but she went back to that negro. Keep spreading the message. This gender war crap needs to stop.
Your daughter's situation is actually a perfect example on why it's important to reach men first in regards to the importance of living righteous.
Hope things get better for her soon
The opportunity is fledgling so it is encouraging dating out of desperation. This is why I propose encouraging men/women who complain about the lack of partners in the black community is to move...go where you believe you'll get love. Don't waste another day trying to force yourself on someone who is not showing up.
Too many people not working on themselves and looking for/forcing someone to accept them at their level.
really... you got attacked in the comments? by who men?
@M ! yes, by other men and was called a simp.
@@perrykeshahwalker5321 Crazy how some of them have daughters . Their daughters will be dating those types of men.
A woman who is fully financially independent is threat to a weak and dishonorable man who does not want to be held accountable for his actions.
True
Amen who are very insecure with low self-esteem. Great point!
A powerful statement you have made. Period.
Female independence is a new plausible phenomenon. It's only possible because of men.
Black men raise their daughters to be independent because they they know the chances of their daughters being able to depend on the men in the community are slim.
My late father taught me to be strong, independent, smart and even aggressive. He even would preach that we don’t need to be married and don’t even think babies before 27. He constantly said these men/boys are knuckleheads and they will waste your time. He loved my boyfriend, now husband, and still was like y’all don’t need to get married 😂 We dated for 6 ish years before he asked for my dad’s blessing. My dad told me I love him and that’s why I’m fine with you marrying him AND he won’t ruin you. Our daddies be knowin.
Young Lady, we are BLESSED to have a Father. My Father passed away in 2020. He was 93 years young. I'm 71 years young and remember his teachings.
Your father is a wise man. 🙏
My dad unfortunately is deteriorating mentally now, but I’ll never forget when I was coming up, he always told me that when it came to men, choices were like investments and consequences were like loans you’d be paying back with interest. So invest in yourself before you invest in them.
The best thing I ever did for myself was leave the boys alone until I was mature enough to find my fiancé. I know so many girls from school who have to raise their beautiful babies alone or suffered so much pain at the hands of bad men. I truly feel for the women who only know men as perpetrators rather than protectors.
This is what women potentially face. Men know it. We know it.They know we know it. They know we know they know it. Thank you for this video
Sooo true!
The sad part is a lot of these men actually do have daughter's. They just think these rules only apply to the women they're messing with smh!
Yes! It’s baffling how fathers of daughters compartmentalize. I told more than one father their daughters probably experienced someone just like them at some point.
You made very valid points. However, there are a lot of Black men who have daughters and still treat women poorly, including their own daughters. I know a 43 year old Black man who has 8 daughters by 7 different Black women. He physically and verbally abuses women and neglects his daughters. His teenage daughters already have low self esteem and depression because he abandoned them and always makes false promises to them. He doesn't protect or provide and even quit his job to keep from paying child support. It's so important for Black women to be self-sufficient to avoid poverty, trauma and abuse from a group of men who have collectively shown that they don't value us.
My dad was like that until my early 30's he is black I am mixed.. He isn't a Christian and doesn't accept Christ at all infact he is a 33 degree mason . But if you pray for people they can change even if it's a little
SET UP FOR:
WHOREDOM
DRUG ABUSE
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
POVERTY
GENERATIONAL ABUSIVE CYCLES THAT NO ONE SEEM THEY KNOW HOW TO BREAK OR CLOSE. THAT'S WHAT THIS MAN HAS OPENED THE DOOR TO. These women will birth these cycles. I will say a prayer God knows them I don't for released.
@@bellacortez Even God can't change a man (or anyone) who doesn't want to change. He does not go against anyone's free will choices.
Your story is a lie it's all made up your story is fake
Thank you for sharing....
There are men who say they want today's women to be more like the previous generations women. Forgetting that the older generation told this generation to take care of themselves. The independence we see today in women is a direct result of older generations telling women to wise up and not rely 100% on anyone. Even women in good relationships are told have a bit of cash tucked away just in case things get bad.
I'm convinced that men who resent independent women, only do so because they want to hold money over their women's head. They're pissed because they don't have financial leaverage/contol over women with money. It's not about 'traditional values' really.
That. Exactly that. They don’t want for women to be able to take care of themselves. Completely manipulative and controlling wanting for her to depend her entire life on what he does.
💯Wives have secret accounts
Exactly. It's just game. It's too obvious cuz the second men have daughters they sing a completely different tune. Strange that when they're related to us their opinion on how women should live COMPLETELY changes. When a male relative tells you about men they're telling you how they would carry themselves if THEY were women. And any woman with a brain would take that advice. They're straight telling you the game. They just be mad when they tryna be dogs and some girl who's NOT their daughter knows the game. That's dead ass all it is.
Women can do math and boy these clowns ain’t matching 💯
It happened to me. I dated a guy once who had no emotional control and would kick me out and ghost me for days or weeks if he didn’t like something I said or did. So I kept focusing on my career and that pissed him off even more. There was no winning so I ghosted him, forever!
Smart lady!!! 💯 Emotional abuse is not talked about enough
@@alicia7737 He was so unstable. I think that’s the kind of guy that can accidentally snap and kill a woman one day.
Good girl…. I bet he was traumatized after that one because he thought he had you wrapped around his finger because of his money.. I had the same thing happen to me. I stopped responding and never called him back he thought his money was going to keep me around. He saw me at a restaurant and called me over to him thinking I was going to be angry but I smiled and told him to have a nice day and didn’t approach and walked out the door. He called several times but I never responded That’s why it pays to always have your own and love yourself
@@mjohnson8206 Always have your own stuff. He wanted me to lose myself and I refused. You should always have an identity outside the relationship.
Im Dominican and my dad even taught me to never depend on a man and I am a career woman and own my own house today thankfully but do desire a husband one day : )
My dad taught me NOTHING! My dad was like these dusties out here. He treated women poorly and abused and cheated on all of them. Now he’s old, poor, alone and going blind. He’s now blowing up me and my sister’s phone constantly asking for money in order to eat, even tho he abandoned and belittled us. 64yrs living in a nasty rental apartment he can’t afford and is now a burden to EVERYONE. I just sent him some money to do a surgery on his eyes. He tried calling to say thanks but I rejected it. I didn’t like my dad’s disrespect as a child and I’ll be damned if I allow these dusties near me. They are violent and hateful. This is demonic!!!
I’m so sorry! We learn something from everyone. Some teach us what NOT to do…
The fact that he did all that to you and you still sent him some money is power and it says a lot about your heart.
I wouldn't send him nothing and blocked and act like he didn't exist....I did it to my mom who never was in my life....and could care less....she can tell it to Jesus
Syphilis can make you go blind.
I used to tell my daughter, it's not you, it's them. Now I tell her, it's Never you, it's always them.😒😒😒😒
The root of issue is that men today are not under God's authority or covenant and want women to submit but don't understand that submission is a biblical principle. How can you ask a woman to submit when men themselves are not submitted to God???
Right! And women are not to submit to boyfriends, but to godly (not just religious) husbands.
Thank you!!!
Even back in the day they weren't doing God told them to do by Women.
Amen...... they're under the evil one's authority.
My dad raised me to be independent because he saw his peers with sons and he didn’t trust that their sons can do what they need to do for me. He basically said the men he saw with sons were living them and now he has to trust these boys to now men with his daughter. He said ABSOLUTELY NOT🤣🤣🤣 but my mom balanced me out with her femininity and how she governs herself and my dad treats her well too.
The struggle is real in the dating market so black fathers teach their daughter to be independent because they don't even want the responsibility of taking care of them until they get husbands. So who's going take care of the daughters but themselves, and after those fathers pass away he figures she'll be fine because she's been independent the whole time.
This is true.
@just2comment99 I understand what you are saying completely but no child is getting married at 16 years old the legal age to work fast food restaurants etc, fathers are making their daughters work in high school I see it all the time.
@@comment2kare I agree. So where are these respectable men for these women to marry? Hang on…maybe if ALL the men were honorable, disciplined, and didn’t want to sleep with girlfriends without making them wives, the problems would stop. You let a pack of wild animals roam loose on your community and have the audacity to act surprised when the vulnerable end up bitten.
Get your responsible, respected elder black men of the community to take out the trash, if they aren’t up to the task, you forfeit the right to complain. But no, you would rather duck your head, shuffle your feet and shift the blame to your daughters for being compassionate and wanting to save the men everyone else threw away, something that they’ve been bred to believe they could do with all these toxic narratives about the love of a good woman saving a man and turning his life around.
@@comment2kare Yawn. Always back to the individual huh? Great, I’m glad everyone can see that people that harp on about community and stable family structure and elders are full of crap when the rubber meets the road and they are actually asked to do something other than point the finger at someone else. Luckily I don’t need help, never been burned because I thought it was my responsibility to be down or race loyal or any of that nonsense. I just hate to see black women still struggling and trying to make this community work all by themselves. Hopefully they’ll see messages like yours and get the picture.
That's exactly what my father did.
I dated a guy for 2.5 years who said he never wants his wife to make more money than him because then she can leave. If that isn’t a red flag, idk what is
Yup. I was raised by both of my parents to be independent so I won’t have to rely on a man and my mom always told me to have money in a separate account just in case.
Heavy on the "just in case" account! Also keep a good credit score! 💜
My grand daddy has 2 whole families right down the street from each other ‼️ yeah be independent ladies
Omg!! I love that you said the EXACT reason WHY the men get an attitude with you over them not being able to run over women and literally co-sign the devils work because they wanna do what they wanna do!!! Which says a lot about their hearts and minds being given over to evil! To purposefully and intentionally want to denigrate and mistreat what God told you to love is evil any damn way you slice it! Shumake this was 🔥!! The Holy Spirit is evident in your life, God has many ways of getting his word to his people! Thank you for being obedient to him.💪🏽🙌🏽
My Dad definitely told me to be independent and learn how to take care of myself. So I would not be left destitute if a man left me or my children without.
My dad taught me the same. Go to college, get your career, and take care of yourself. Don't depend on anyone. So that does show that men know.
Great video. Being the head of the household and looking to the biblical headship model IS NOT about importance or control. It’s about responsibility. Meaning, you are responsible to God for how your family is cared for. You are the their protector, and God is yours. But people like to twist things for their personal benefit.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
You sir are a rare man. Most BM don't want to do what you are saying because most of them do not really know what leadership is. Being an honorable man requires integrity. The fact that other BM will attack you for just saying that you should treat BW well should tell you all you need to know about BM. The DEVIL is busy . They all preach that they want traditional women, but no traditional women wants a man that's a hustler and a HO, I saw this back in the 90s with BM
So because I wanted to have children after I got marred. I had to leave BM alone otherwise I would have ended up like so many other BW that refuse to look elsewhere.
BW have always worked. There was never a time of leisure where BW didn't have to work. #TheStruggleHasAlwaysBeenReal
Exactly it was the white women that had to fight for that right! We went from slavery to housemaids for white households and subjected to abuse in those households as well as their own .
I absolutely agree a lot of women have this go getter Boss like attitude because they have been miss treated or witnessed other women be missed treated and controlled through finances. If you make your own money you can take care of yourself regardless if your in a relationship or not
My parents are immigrants. While my Dad would consider himself traditional one thing he always told my older brother but especially me and my younger sister is to work hard and become independent. He’s seen things like this happen both in the US and back home. There’s no reason why as an adult, your livelihood should be in another persons hands because if they provide it, they can take it away. Even if your man is paying most of the bills because he wants to, it never hurts to have your own. He didn’t say to be bitter or cynical but it’s protection. He said he never wants my sister and I to be in a situation that we can’t get out of because of money. You don’t have to broadcast the fact that you have money or belittle people because of it. It doesn’t make you less of a woman because of it. Anyone that’s threatened by your independence is the problem.
Exactly 💯
This man is brilliant, which is unfortunately why he doesn't have more views.
It’s unfortunate that young blk men aren’t going to stop & watch this. You’re exactly right tho.
Women being able to make money protect them from unhealthy men
This is a topic I've been hoping somebody will talk about. They always blame black women for teaching their daughters to be independent, But no one says anything When a active black father also teaches his daughters not to depend on a man is it because they know their chances of finding a "good black Man" is very low?!?
Imagine how bad they would treat us if we had to depend on them. Whew a scary thought.
Happened to my mom and now she is sleeping on my couch. It also happened to me to I had to sleep in my car until I got my own place.
I pray this video finds the women and men it’s supposed to find especially with this soft life narrative and Instagram model lifestyle floating around today. It’s all fun and games until that man gets ready to cheat! My future husband will be a “simp” oh well a happy and a healed one! This one was fire Shumake! 🙌🏽💯💯
Thank you. I was hoping to see more men in the comments of this one though. We need a good talking to.
@@TheShumakeWay for sure! Praying our men do better cuz we need y’all 💯❤️🤞🏽
Trust and believe that most of us women who have our own homes cars careers and solid family and friendship base are UNBOTHERED by these angry azz gaslighting fragile males. We already know why they are mad and what they aim to accomplish when coming at us. Again .. UNBOTHERED.
I’m only a few mins in but I saw that video. I recently and finally got out after 20 yrs of a bad relationship. I kept trying to build this man a castle and he just kept tearing it down. I was the woman who had to leave with nothing but clothes and toys in laundry baskets to my parents house. My daughters and son have naturally gain that mentality after going thru all we did. Which I’m proud but in the same sense I was raised where the man is the head of the house so it’s confusion sometimes. Btw 2 wks today officially we have been separated and it feels so amazing to be free.
Don’t go back. Your in a very vulnerable time emotionally. It will be tempting - stick to your guns
Married people ask why their single children don't want to be married...
Tell your friends the truth. Tell them that their marriage is not bearing the spiritual fruit for their children to want it.
Women are not going to remain vulnerable where there is no protection or provision.
This is spiritual and it doesn't reset because you want it. Men have to accept the shift, their own contribution, and establish the environment that will lend to the expectations they have for the world their children will come of age in.
You have to be the change.
Same for mother's/wives. Your son is not your husband placeholder. Your inappropriate relationship with him is not just ruining his ability to have a healthy relationship with women but wrecking society with the plague of baby mama culture.
My children are 23 and 19, and still remember when I experience this behavior 19 years ago. I am so tormented from that experienced, I have continually work like a dog in order to assure I will be able to always provide for my family. I will never ask and or rely on a black man for a damn thing.
Your husband could divorce you, die , or decides he does not love you. I know women who have been in this situation. Plus if you have children to take care of, that's makes it more difficult. Please tell your daughters to be able to take care of themselves.
Both of my fathers told me to NEVER only rely on a man. They told me to love myself and always be able to take care of yourself. That helped and harmed me because I was so scared to let go when I fist became a stay at home mom.
This world is backwards. All our lives (if you had positive adults in your life) we were taught to have our own, get that education, and make something of ourselves. Now the world is saying you got too much, you know too much, and etc. Listen, you need 2 incomes to survive and if you add kids, it's going to be tough. Thank you for continuing to be the voice of reason because ppl ain't getting it.
I’m reminded of “The Color Purple” frfr…🤔. Having choices should not be a luxury, but a right for all God’s children…🙏 💯
The Red Pill folks won't like this, but the REAL FOLKS will.
This married man of God who's got a 12 year old daughter loves it. May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you.
My dad definitely raised us to be independent and at first I didn’t understand it but I get it now.
Because black men know how other black men are but when we say it we get bashed .
I watched my mother go through a toxic relationship with my father it was not only toxic for her but for all five of us siblings we all did not have healthy relationships all three were alcoholics one committed suicide another died young from complications from alcoholism the other sibling hated women and never married we all suffered because of the relationship that was modeled before us so listen to this young man and follow his example he is only telling you what the Lord has given us for us to have a successful life and a beautiful family
People are not fixing the root of the problem and use that as a reason to not change.
BLACK men better listen to this one or get your passports and use them 😊
Bye
True
They can get their passports either way.💅🏾
@@attitudeproblem6462 right 🤷🏾♀️
Please do and don't come back. Take care 😘
My father encouraged my siblings and i to get an education and to have our own. My husband is a mf Georgetown graduate ! We both have our Master's degree. A lot of the men complaining didn't have solid fathers if one at all so they're relying on redpill grifters to stand in as placeholders for the dads they didnf have
I have strict Haitian parents and live in Canada.
We were not even allowed to talk about having a boyfriend until post-secondary education was completed.
My father didn't play games, Get your "papier" first!!
my dad raised me to be independent. he believes strongly that a person should be able to do everything they want and need on their own. that way when they have to they got it. when you dont have to do it alone then dont. it took a while but im sticking to his lessons
Facts. Imma come bk and make a longer post when I get home. My father didn't teach me to be independent. He worked and helped around the home. However, growing up I heard HORRORS of women around me going they it and decided hell nah. My problem is that too many black men refuse to take responsibility and account. How can you ever justify a man throwing his kids our? Okay, maybe the girl for cheating, but the kids too? You cant but the same men cry about child suppo while consistently showing that they truly don't want their kids.
Alot of black men had horrible fathers and generations before that!!
Shame!!!
Warning - vulgar language for sensitive and religious folks here.
My Dad was the best, but I found his advice SO embarrassing lol. It didn't make sense until I was in college and understood what he meant. My Dad would always tell me "N***s think all they need is d**k and money to keep a woman. If that's all they have to offer, you need to leave him alone." Me at twelve "Ew Dad! Why you gotta say that!" 🤣 But what he said helped me stay away from guys who weren't good for me. My husband is awesome, and I'm so glad my Dad was able to meet and approve of him before he transitioned. RIP Dad ❤️
Good for you!!! Your father is savage as f*ck 😂🎉🎉
Your dad is a wise man!
❤I tell you what if he is not holding Jesus hand!!! He need to keep ot movin! I show no mercy!
💯💯
Good fathers always teach their daughters to be independent.
Boy your parents done raised you right..... you said all the right things continue to push your thing. Real men will listen.
I'm glad you're teaching your daughter. but you also have to teach her to wait for marriage that's what my mom did for me. I taught my niece to do that as well and she is waiting. Even if you didn't wait you teach your daughter and sons to do it. You teach her not to have kids out of wedlock this is what God wants. My niece's mother is a baby mother with more than one baby father I still had to teach her the right way, and she understands now. even if your mom or father was a Bm/Bf or someone in your family was, you teach your children the right way and that's to wait till marriage, not till she's engage but until marriage. God bless!!
You are spot on, my grandfather was a very rich farmer but he married 5 wives and 12 children ..it was a chaotic situation, know mu Dad married my mum and he was a one woman man ..strong Catholic Man and he is my greatest icon he always taught us to always be self independent ..Educated us to the maximum and always encouraged us never to Depend on a man ..Depend on God ..😢I really miss him RIP ..he was a good man..the way he treated my mum like a queen..provided for us everything we never lucked anything and in the evening he would get my mum a bottle of win ..take us children to the cinemas , and when we come back he has his porridge and he always used to read the Bible ..always .."one in a million man" ..my mum treated him like a king ❤❤❤...finding this kind of men this days is like chasing a Golden port at the end of a rainbow stream that the lepricon left 😂😂😂😂 but not all men are bad there are good men too ..my brother is exactly how my dad was ..I guess what we do determine the future of our kids ..the up bringing
Great video. It is time decent BM set the example of being good husbands and fathers for others to follow. Within the black community lack of standards has caused moral standards to decline to utter decay over the generations.
My parents always told me to have my own. They are very traditional. All of my mother's brothers had multiple girlfriends and only one of them who got married and he had two mistresses. He didn't take care none of the kids but the mistresses just dropped off the kids to my grandmother's house, girls or boys. However, the my mother's sisters all got married and had multiple by one man. There was one degenerate...he didn't care for all of 5 kids and died one year after marrying my aunt. He added no value to her life but give her a bunch of kids. Luckily, when her father died, he left a piece of land for all of his children.
I ❤️ my dad and the older my dad's get the more loving he's becoming. We were younger, he was trying to make sure we had everything. Now, he's retired..he still a dad and a husband.
My father told all of us to be independent!
To the commenters on the other video that say "it happens to men all of the time" - men get kicked out with a baby on their hips or while pregnant? Men get kicked out with mouths to feed and little eyes looking at them for safety after witnessing their parent be assaulted and put out along with them? Only fools would think about using this as an excuse or trying to compare the scenario with males being kicked out vs women. We also know when males are kicked out it is usually because they messed up really badly, whereas women usually get kicked out because of the male's evil, destructive, selfishness. I use the term "male" because I know real men like Shumake exist and I refuse to call toxic grown males men, as they haven't earned the title. . .
My dad did not "tell" me to be independent but he definitely taught me how to be. Him doing this had some major pros and cons. One of the biggest pros was since he dropped me off to college over a decade ago I have not needed either of my parents for anything. Hell I give them money lol. But he also taught me to be detached emotionally which also made me emotionally independent. This is a good thing when I am needing to remove myself from situations that do not serve me and when I am needing to focus on my next goal. It made me use to nurturing my own feels which in result made me either avoid letting people in (because I felt that I could handle things on my own) or not nurturing other people's feelings because I assumed that they knew how to nurture their own as I have. Have worked with my therapist on this for the past couple of years and have gotten a hell of a lot better. But overall my dad did a damn good job making sure I can provide and support myself without any help from anyone.
I wholeheartedly agree! These ppl are blinded to the tactics of the enemy because he's the only one benefiting from all of this destruction! This is why the Bible says that hell enlarges itself every day to accommodate those going there. Sadly, you don't see anything about heaven enlarging itself!
Im so glad you are speaking to the men out here, you are literally like a breath of fresh air....thank you for speaking real positivity and love ❤
Know that being attacked is a POSITIVE sign that you are on the right path! May God continue to bless and keep you and your family!
Even when black women are married - if they’re married to black men they are sole or co-breadwinners 80% of the time vs 20% of ww (married to wm) …If bw didn’t have their own they wouldn’t be able to help 🤧
It takes a lot of trust to put your life in someone else’s hand and they have to prove worthy
My Dad told me, and my sisters to have our own, and not to depend on a man to take care me.
My pops taught me to be independent cuz he knew by the time I was on my own ..too many men wasn't gonna be talkin about NOTHING!..and he was right!💯
#mypopsMyhero
This is leadership! Protect this man at all costs 👏🏽🙏🏽
Ty lord for bringing his man into the conversation. The youtube, tiktok, social media algorithm is keeping men and women apart . Keep the faith brother
My Black 'father' taught ne independence by not being there. If he ever gets sick or xlosento dying he better never darken my door. Have a good day 😊😊😊
Thank you for speaking the pure truth 🫶🏽
Period
For me, nobody needed to verbally tell me that I need to make my own.
I saw and heard my mother's cry getting beaten by dad who forbid her to have a job.
Hi! Largely agree!
One point of difference, there is no scenario where a man needs to control a woman.
God made Eve as Ezer Knegedo which is the help for/against which is to help men with the assignment of dominion of the earth and fullness of. There is no need to control a woman if man gets back in assignment to have dominion over the earth. The desire to "rule over" women is the consequence of the fallen state of man that Christ came to redeem.
🗣 You went in on this one.
Keep speaking the truth!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Wow at very young age I wasn't taught this by my father I was very observant as a nine-year-old girl I come from a family of mostly women and when I saw them struggle for most of the things that they wanted and men were just in the background I don't want to be with a BS, none empathetic, don't want to be accountable, and none- self actualized male. In truth I learned from both women and men, so don't put stock in struggle love. I have to say, I got to thank the black community for teaching me that bootstrapping, being loyal, not being faithful to yourself but to somebody else is just not healthy when you are being disrespected within it. I said what i said it has been my experience and I will not speak on any other person's experiences.
Anybody who's grown woman, or man shouldn't be depending on someone else to take care of them except if their disabled & can't do for themselves. Independence & learning a skill is the best thing because at least u can go by your own rules not walking on eggshells everytime the abuser around.
Man this feels like a breath of fresh air, who woulda thought? A man,with a microphone, speaking reasonably!
So happy to be reminded real men exist.
Were the only race of people that devalue each other in public.
My dad didn’t teach me anything. He just left. My mom died when I was a baby. So I had no one.
So happy we talking about this!!
Well said my friend, maybe people should assess that the “gender war” is directly attached to the deterioration of the morale of a man. A man should lead his woman and be an example in which she in turns wants to assume the position of wife. This is all child’s play and the foreshadowing of a pivotal change in the family dynamic within our country. Many blessings to you and your family
Sir...I had an awesome Black Daddy. And when I tell you, he did everything for his daughters and our Mom (his wife).
Education, Cars, Credit cars and of course love (as demonstrated).
He was a strong man of few words to us & it was mostly to be able to do for yourself and not not be indebted to anyone. If we needed to move, here come him & his brothers or nephews. My uncle would complain but then say you call us for everything so you dont owe no man nothing.
We are not hard women, but we know how to by God's grace take care of everything or pay someone to do it.
Abuse & beholding is not an option.
Thank you for your posts Sir.
You content is so needed!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
EXCELLENT commentary, Sir! 💖💖💖
I’ve seen so many men who I admire say the most outlandish things about women and they have daughters! I’m so glad I’m not on the dating scene anymore and I don’t really care to become friends with any men and the ones in my family I keep them at a distance as well! I’m glad God opened my eyes and made me recognize that I had a righteous man beside me before I lost him due to trauma from men.
I like the longer format videos and shout out to Mrs. Shumake, I hope she is doing well and y’all have a lovely day.
This video is so spot on!
It's important for individuals to realize that personal responsibility starts within oneself. A lot of our people are angry, hurt, and bitter. It is easy to place blame on someone else than taking the initiative to look at oneself and we're one needs to change and grow. There are a lot of black men who are resentful not only of their fathers, but also of their mothers as well. They are angry at their mothers in some way for taking the hurt and the pain that their fathers inflicted on them. Instead of having compassion, they internalize it and they become enraged.
This is exactly how my dad raised me. Being the first born daughter to 5 siblings, he raised me like a son. My dad is not married, never was. My mum moved on and married someone else so I’ve been the 2nd parent to my siblings. So that’s why femininity doesn’t necessarily come easily to me because of how I was raised by my dad! He always says never allow yourself to be in a situation where you are at the mercy of anyone, especially a man. So this has become so engraved in my mind, I need to unlearn to relearn God’s design for the man and woman relationship’
Thank you for putting this out there.
As much as I enjoy your videos my enlightened Brother, I hate to say it. But, your wisdom might be falling on deaf ears. Most of the women hear you; but, a lot of these men don't care. A lot of these men are not marriage minded, many of them have kids and are not interested in raising their kids. These same men have Mommas, sisters, aunties, & daughters. They still don't care. However, the women and the few enlightened men out there are paying attention. Keep doing what you're doing. I'll keep hope alive that at least some of it will sink in some hard heads and change some lives.
💯💯
I agree. It takes humility to absorb his message. Those that have arrogance and ego will refuse to listen, until God humbles them through life experiences. That's the scary outcome though.
Sooooo deeply true and sad
@@yanacshell You are not wrong. 💯
My father didn't teach me anything.
Same! I don't think enough fathers do in the black community.
My dad only *recently* told me not to rely on anyone, including my husband... and I've been with my husband for over 22 years!! 🤦🏾♀️
Fortunately, I've known this all along, which is why I built a career for myself.
Same
Same
Well said bro.
Thank you
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I am so happy that we taught our kids the importance of independence. We taught them to WANT a partner in life, but to never NEED them. We also taught them day or night they can always come home.
Thank you so much. You dont understand how important these messages are to your viewers. I know you are coming from a real place. No matter how much they deny it. This is very much real. God bless you.
I agree 1000% to what your saying my Grandmother's and her sisters came up north with their husband's during the great migration for jobs and a better life my one great aunt husband use to beat her and she snapped one day and killed him she never did any jail time but that left a huge impact on our family. My father wasn't in my life very much because he had 25 kids by many many women but the little time he did spend with me he said to be sure to get an education to take care of myself. I call this type of behavior breeding plantation mindset. I've been around long enough to see many things and it seems history just keeps repeating itself. We need to really work hard and let God (Jesus) lead so we can leave these behaviors behind. I hope that you touch on again about abusive relationships I live in Michigan and within the last week and a half 4 women have lost their lives to domestic violence they tried to start a new life and they were hunted down and by their past partners thanks for your content.
Thanks, your awesome may you stay blessed
You are unquestionably a real man and I’m so glad to hear you out here spreading these healthy messages for Men and our community! This is for everyone that has a heart to listen♥️💕😌