Why you NEVER attract THE TYPE of man YOU WANT
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- Опубліковано 22 сер 2024
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I always think that the wrong guy finds a woman like me boring ....I was right and I'm okay with that
You aren't supposed to be thier entertainment..if they find you boring..they probably lack good character! They always say if a person says I'm bored..it means that they themselves are boring!!
That’s a blessing in disguise
@@debbyshark1596 right
Idk. If that was the case “good” women wouldn’t be going through bull stuff at all. Sure we can blame selection but in reality something will flop in your life dating wise and a bad apple may slip past. Some of these guys love the “boring” girls like myself to either turn her out, or play games with her. You know how guys say they will marry an ugly woman because they do not cheat? Meanwhile he would cheat with a woman he finds attractive but marry the good girl. Just like some women wont “bad” guys because they believe they can fix them OR they are in that bad guy phase. Some people are just messed up. It’s disappointing
@ The Shumake Way, I certainly hope your channel continues to grow to your hearts desire. Your message, delivery, intent, & moral compass is what's needed on these platforms. Keep showing up!
Let's start hitting the like button before we hit play. We already know it's gonna be on point‼️💯💪🏾
Actually, Shumake, my daughter, and I have had this conversation. She said she's looking for someone like me. However, she says they aren't built like me anymore. Though I am flattered by what she told me, I told her the same things you had said. She will not find a good man who loves this world. They must be a Godly purpose driven man. They are not in the clubs, and they are not the pseudo religious types either. Well said bro.
My goal is to have my daughters say to me what yours said to you. That’s how you know you’re doing a good job.
@perrykeshahwalker5321 I tell the single ladies I coach all the time, there is no shortage of good men. You have to figure out why you're not meeting them... and that usually comes in discovering blindspots.
Ln
@@tracyreadytv The ones who " appear " to be good men but are looking for the opposite of what they say or play games are the worse.
@@rogers5622 Then they aren't "good men" they only "appear to be." BIG difference.
I was raised with in a two parent home. And pops always told me, that it's imperative to love myself in order to love a man.
Hey bruh I’m a old head 62 yr old and one of your shorts pop up, and I was concerned about the generation coming of men coming up because a lot of them speak about women like their the enemy, I was pleased to hear your content and I hope young fellas tune in
As a young women, what you’ve said has truly resonated with me. I find men these days do not take you seriously and only want to "have fun" with you. No intention or commitment. You have to set your standards and purposefully stick to them
Sis... the good ones are out there. I promise you.
True especially when you're super attractive .. it's quite annoying
All them bodies on y’all got us men thinking you a car for a daily rental
@@christianserrano2403 lol the same rules apply with men .. with different baby mothers and they're unmarried . That's a huge red flag
@@laramila98 Only difference is there’s new women entering the 20+ dating market every year y’all the past they the future and these younger women want commitment as young as possible stay woke
As someone who works with youth and college students, I’ve seen even the ones with good fathers make bad decisions these days with regards to the type of guys they choose. This generation is so heavily influenced by social media and corrupted by their toxic friends who get them to participate in hookup culture esp when they go to college. I’ve seen the sad transition of several of them clearly corrupted as soon as they step on campus that Freshman year.
Straight facts. A good father was always what helped steer daughters in the right direction, but this outside programming from society and the destructive agendas that are pushed sadly have more consistent influence on them. Universities are indoctrination central. Society, feminism, the advent of birth control and access to abortion just made women feel like they could make whatever dumb choices they wanted without repercussions. Then they complain when they've become baby mamas with deadbeat baby daddies. They can try running from their terrible decisions, but they'll always catch up with them.
Honestly a lot of women say these men don’t exist because they are superficial. They want to complain about men being no good, but when they meet a Kingdom man. He is ignored and friend zoned. Why? He is not tall enough or does not have enough muscles. Trust me, these women have came across good men and knew they were good men. It’s always excuses like he is too nice or I’m not turned on by him. I have a nice guy and love the way he treats me. I reciprocate, I let him know how much I appreciate him.
He doesn’t exist bc most men don’t have good character. Period. It’s about morals and values.
Men want a woman who is chaste, kind, responsible, loving and cooperative.
While the men watch porn every week, addicted to dating apps, undisciplined, not financially stable and argumentative. They lack emotional control and don’t go to church. They have no responsibilities outside of themselves and don’t give back to their community. The man who DESERVES a traditional woman is rare
@@ninagrace-lee8323 Why is it when guys say this about women we're suddenly incels? This is literally true for women as well.
@@ninagrace-lee8323Most women do most of what you say too. A good woman is also rare to find these days. Don't get it twisted.
Agree
@@StoneAgeWarfare I am a woman and think that word incel is SO disrespectful and unnecessary.
3:07 That’s a really good point and doesn’t get talked about often. A lot of the guys from the RP community, manosphere are just guys that are holding onto trauma from a woman that broke their heart. After that they don’t trust women at all and they take on ideologies from the likes of men like Andrew Tate, Fresh & Fit etc. It’s the same with women who go ultra feminist after having her heart broke by a man. Hurt people hurt people.
There's definitely some truth to what you're saying, but some of the people in that space, including who you mentioned, often say things that are correct too. When you're able to look at what they say with an open mind and if you have experience with women, a lot of what is said matches up. You just have to know how to put things in perspective, so you're not just getting bitter towards women. You must have accountability for your own decisions too, which is something F&F and Tate often say.
I retired from the position of being a "Fun Girl" to being promoted to "Mrs. Future Forever". It wasn't easy to get to this position after years of mental and emotional baggage. Thank You Lord for saving, protecting and keeping me!!! 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
I’m a home body!!! And I still don’t attract the men I desire. I honestly be home or chilling with my daughter doing mama things all day. Then boom nobody calls me😂😂😂 they run so this can be a double edge sword. I’m a wife it’s just no man is ready to cuff , so I’ve accepted I’ll be single forever and that’s ok too
😂😂😂 same here!!
It sound like you need to get out the house so people will see you. Make friends. You never know who people know. And you could run into the person you are looking for.
You don't attract the men you desire, because you have a kid. Desirable men don't want women with kids from another man when they can just go get a woman without children.
@@TheDemonCaine ok and that’s supposed to make me feel a way.😂😂🤣🙃🙃 y’all the ones scared to die alone but let me hush 🤫 cause I don’t fight with weak men on the internet
Get out and meet people
You know when I was 20 I wanted so much to get married. Loud, clubber, drinker, pretty face, and banging body; I knew I was going to get a good man because that was all it took. I was so WRONG!! Looking back as a married woman, I would have never married someone like me.
@0:43 LISTEN ! I’ve been dating since 14. I’m 26 now with 2 children. I just realized that my absent dad might have played an effect, however I don’t use that as an excuse as to why I’m single or why I’ve had failed relationships. I love super hard. But I’ve loved the wrong men. Now I’m praying for that Kingdom/Godly man. And your absolutely correct, before I gave it to God I couldn’t find a good man if you paid me to 🤦🏾♀️ but I know better now.
Dating since 14? My African parents were NOT having that. Sending youthe wisdom, love and grace to change the narrative for your chidlren.
@@obaaAkos02That sounds like you have amazing parents. I love hearing things like this. The western world needs to take notes.
@@obaaAkos02 dating as in going to the movies, skating, eating out things like that. Not sexual active. And my mom chaperoned those dates
@@keahharrison4765 Sorry I was not allowed to date at 14yrs and that was that. My African mom was definitely not following me around to go to the movies or go out to eat with some boy. Everyone and every home have their own culture, values morals and principles. I started dating my husband my second year of college. I have a 17yr old girl and a 15yrs old boy and they know they can start dating when their 18. Call me old fashioned.
I can understand the people who are saying these men don't exist or to divest because clearly that's not been your experience, but its also about being a vibrational match/equally yoked with those type of men. I married a unicorn because I am a unicorn. If it was easy/common, everyone would do it. I attracted my handsome, growth minded, healthy (mentally and otherwise) black man when I decided to do my own healing work. That's how I leveled up the people I attracted. Otherwise they essentially don't exist because you're existing in different realms.
Bingo💯
You hit it right on the head
Facts
Great to hear .
Im an unicorn but nobody loved me! Men always say Im boring and choose the model, club girl type🤷♀️ My ex left me for a stripper! And every men I met married shallow women.
This video is ignoring the fact that “good men” are NOT the majority in the community. Shumake has read the bible. He knows we’re in the last days. He knows that this world is largely wicked and ungodly. Therefore he should know that “kingdom men” are not found in abundance. Even if every kingdom man was taken, they’d STILL be an excess of single women as there’s not enough to go around.
I really wish we had a website for kingdom men and women only lol. There are men that are struggling with the same exact thing that a lot of women are struggling with. A lot of women have decided to exist as the lower version of themselves. They are in the world and will break a good man. Same thing with the overwhelming majority of men. That’s one of the things that I hate about the state of society today. Men and women point the finger at each other not realizing that we are more alike than we think.
@@TheShumakeWay 💯
And that is what the enemy wants. If we are distracted, pointing the finger and blaming one another, we remain divided, and love can't exist. The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy.
No evidence of god...just sayin..
I think I have found a kingdom man and I have appreciated your content because I want to keep him. I’m not a city girl and I’ve never been but your content has reminded me of who I am and who I strive to be. Thank you!
From Tanzania 🇹🇿 and currently found your channel immediately subscribed....
I'm thankful I had (and still have) my father around (he is a great human, even tho he's not perfect). I think the issue is that people (especially the youth these days) are so focused on what's going on outside and outside of themselves, they're not seeing that the problem is internal. Nobody is doing the work to heal and character build. Also God sends you what you need, not what you want. A lot of people miss out on the person that's suppose to be for them because they're not paying attention, they're not seeing the signs. Everyone talks about red flags, but they're not seeing the signs for the good people either.
When I tell you this guy is the only relationship/advice guy I follow it’s the truth! Brother thank you! 🙌🏾
There is a whole album called “You Can’t Take It With You” by a band called As Tall As Lions and it’s all about this
Nothing in this material realm can out trump anything in spirit. Thank you for your message.
Sound wisdom from a man of God. We receive it! 🙏🏾
Ladies have high standards you have to protect yourself if a man cant provide and protect run.
That's fair enough. Women need to actually be worthy of having those high standards though. If he's doing what he's supposed to be doing as a man, you better be fulfilling your role too. Otherwise he'll choose somebody else who will.
exactly so, sis ! 💯🔥
You’re literally the realist most relatable online big bro I never had ! Funny thing I’ve said these many things to some friends from the past & they never listened. Thank you for what you do and enlightening women and myself xoxo love from 954
You just explained the man that I always desired so perfectly. God willing that I find him one day. Thank you.
I am divorce, I’m 40 and I decided to heal before dating anyone. And I, want to attract what I wanted and deserve. So It was a process but I wanted a man that walks in his integrity. So I have to walk in my integrity. My friends say girl just date and have options . I’m at an age where I know what I want and I can’t just swing from guy to guy. My choice was to heal and work on myself… So my man can find me, see me, and know that I am healed and his.
For the women who do not fall in the category of what you described of the type of woman a high value man doesn’t want, what potential blinds spots could a woman be over looking within herself that may be preventing her from meeting the right guy after she has done the work on herself in all areas you mentioned?
Don't overcomplicate it. Be extremely honest with yourself about what high value men want and adapt to that and be wary of your ego not allowing you to accept some of the things men want. You either want to be that way for them or you don't. There's no in-between. High value men have options and no incentive to ever have to settle. The more unattractive qualities a woman has, the higher likelihood that kind of guy won't even give her a chance.
Yup, I see what you mean. I think it can be especially tough when you're introverted. I also wonder how can I meet more men who I'm into (also respectable, hardworking, honest men who are in their purpose etc) cause rn I seem to attract the opposite of what I put out, in my opinion.
Yes, they are out there! I refuse to belive that they don't exist.🎉
Thank you for your kind words and all these advices. The thing is, finding this kind of men is really hard in this day and age. They are out there ofc, but they aren't easy to find. Most people that you can come across are unserious and hateful. Praying for my husband soon ❤
You did a GREAT job in relaying this message in brotherly love. I saw a video with some Hebrew Israelites telling a woman on the street essentially the same thing, but their delivery came off so mean-spirited that I imagine it was a lot more difficult for the young lady to receive the message if she ever did. Yours was a very Christ-like approach! God bless you!
Ok that all sounds amaaaazing! AND he’s black? BUT those men are far and few! Not saying it’s impossible but it’ll prolly take some time 🙄
Blocked that drama, thanks son.
You’re such a GREAT human!!!! You give hope to humanity 🥹
Thank you Big Bro. Our body is the temple. We just need some guidance especially if there was no father figure.
💯% true advice. I hope someone is listening.
Love this!!! 1000% true!!!! Love it❤
I don’t know how this video got in my feed… But I’m glad it did!💞 Sir, you are speaking God’s Truth!🙏🏾 New Subscriber here!🙋🏽♀️
You are God sent
Love these big bro convos! Thank you! 👌🏾✨
THANK YOU!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
You’re welcome
CUZO🎉 You ALWAYS come at the right time!! God is FAITHFUL! YA MILL on the way!!
Well I just figure it must be timing for me bc I'm not doing any club activities etc, I go out, I'm in my word, but nothing lol. I'm lucky if I get anything after hello lol.
I never got the one I wanted. I am a bookworm homebody and maintaining what i have i am not interested in playboys and hood types i stay away from that. And I have always been up front about what i was looking for. But every time i consider some one its always the same thing they only bother because they are horny. Now they even ruder about it. Its such a turn off
At my age now, i quit. I don't believe love and relationships are meant for me.
I agree with u but do these kingdom men exist in the present world we live in? Are they in the minority? God did say that humans are desperately wicked which appears to get worst as time progresses. Can u do a video on where we can meet these men.
I have a video titled how to upgrade your dating pool that should be pretty helpful.
They exist but they might not be in church or even religious. I'm agnostic but I date Christian women all the time and they usually tell me I have better character than a lot of the so called Christian men they know.
They exist and typically are already married.
I can relate to the point of tears.
God had a reason to say guard your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life. I felt like the
woman at the well.
That would be a fulltime ministry in itself.
Agape
Thank you for being a big brother 🙏🏼❤️
I appreciate this message. 🙏🏾❤️
Amen Brother Shumake! 😅❤
Well said 👍🏾
Thank you
This!
Needed to hear this!
This is totally off tangent lol but is county Wayne is your dad? You look and sound just like him 🤣
Shumake, can you please talk a about "phenomenon" of men developing soul ties / friendships with other women other than his GF /blood relatives? aka " we are just friends"? Women, who might be married or might be single, but they go buddy buddy with the man, who has a gf and he plays buddy buddy with them, like we are just friends, And those buddies - ladies are affection toward the man, but don't show any true desire to get to know and befriend his girlfriend. They really are friendly for him, but quite distant or superficial with gf. Obviously, this is my story and it's heartbreaking. If we were in reversed roles and I had a few close male friends, who treated me as if I don't have my special someone in my life or/and acted excluding toward him, I would make those friends bounce. For real. Because it shows they don't respect my relationship, when they haven't even gotten to know him (my bf) but already got some attitude. I know, I would have some straight talk with these friends of mine. Now, I tried many times to make my bf understand this...I am loyal and I rly put our relationship first and expect the same back, since he loves me too. He pretend he doesn't see how his friends are with me , no they are not rude, but very excluding and distant, like our relationship is relatively new, you would think they will have positive curiosity about with whom he's with but they don't display it all. He is a mature man, older than me as well for enough years. Emotional and sensitive hence he says, he always found it easier to have female friends than male friends. Tho he has both. I don't feel like I'm better than those friends,I am just very shy and I just want to be accepted by them and not experience them kind of being excluding towards me , it is painful, and I wonder how come my bf is not wondering , what's going on and this has been affecting us greatly. I would love him to be actually the one wondering what's going on, etc..He says I'm too jealous. ok..maybe. but I see also clearly that he is comfortable with his friends , and he kind of doesn't see those nuances and shades they throw at me. When I point it out, he has a reason to criticize me. If I don't, i burn myself from within :/ He has even laughed that some of his female friends like him" like that". It makes me feel insecure because he hasn't put boundaries toward them but is very adamant of how he has to put them toward me to protect those friendships.. I just want him to understand me. .I love him and for the longest time , Believed he loved me too, now I'm not sure at all about it. Because Everytime I bring this up, he goes defensive and we got an argument. I bet he would not enjoy being in foreign country, having his GF all these friends who clearly show no desire to be befriend him too, like they don't respect us as a couple/our relationship. How do I make him understand this without making it worse?
I am waiting with baited breath to hear the answer.
Thank you for this context it gave me confirmation of my journey.
Thank you👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Great message!
Atp you're telling bw to date out because finding a bm like that is like finding a needle in a haystack 😂
I love to see black love, but you have to do what’s best for you. Just make sure the love and respect is real wherever you go.
Beautiful Advice 🙏🏾✨✨😊
This is good! Thank you!
Thank. You. My. Brother. For your. Platform. First. Making. God. The. Head. Of. The. Relationship. A. Woman. Who. Has. Self. Respect. LadylikeNess. Soft. Spoken. Carries. Herself. Like. A. Lady. Not. Loud. Character. Thank. You. Again. As. B. People. We. Must. Denounce. Bad. Behavior. With. Our. Children. And. In. The. Community. Continue. Your. Platform. May. The. Lord. Continue. To. Bless. Your. Platform. All. Praises👏
As an older women who had to be older long before I should've, I've always known the type of man that I wanted and didn't want. I know I come scarred and it will take a very strong man who is sure of who he is to deal with me because I have had to be there for me for too long. I have never needed a man that makes a lot of money because I work and have a profession. I know how to actually get up and get. I need to see that you are working on you, have respect for others and self and is open to discussions. I will ride for you as long as I know I can depend on you to step up and adjust as necessary, and yes he has to have a belief in God and decency so we can grow in God together. I need someone I can build with who values my opinions and inputs and shares his with me in a constructive way as well.
A strong man with any self respect doesn't want to have to "deal with" anybody. Nobody owes you understanding of what you've been through. We've all been through stuff. Independent women tend to come with a lot of habits that men don't like and end up pushing away the kind of men they desire.
@@TheDemonCaine A man who knows himself will know how to deal with women on any level. That to me is a strong man
@@ForbsieLaLa That's an imaginary man because what you want contradicts what you'd attract. A truly strong man doesn't want to feel like he has to "deal with" a woman. You make yourself sound difficult to be with by saying a man needs to just deal with you and your trauma. You don't seem to realize that you'd only be attracting a weak man by default, because only a weak man would ever put himself in a situation where he has to just deal with a woman and then you'd get fed up with him because he's not strong enough, you'd break up and the cycle will continue or you'll just end up alone because you're not willing to change any of your faults. A strong man wants a woman who doesn't have baggage and doesn't expect him to just accept it. He doesn't want a headache. A strong man has options and no incentive to ever have to settle. There's other women out there that aren't stuck in their ways that would be a much more preferable choice. To be with a strong man, you first need to fit the criteria necessary for that man to even want you. You've got it backwards thinking a strong guy is just going to accept you for who you are when who you are is not a very attractive option. If you're not willing to fix your undesirable traits for a man, just be prepared to be scraping the bottom of the barrel.
@@ForbsieLaLajust because they are strong enough doesn't mean they are going to be willing to deal with curtain things... (especially if they are high value)...
@@jue827 and rightly so...standards and values are important for self preservation
That's easy, he doesn't exist 😂
They do..the reality is most of us run from them.
Agree they don’t exist
It’s the sad reality of women
@@marketables men do it too.
@Jene Bess I'm talking about myself specifically. I don't run from anything but red flags. I simply know things are red flags for me that don't seem to be for other people.
For example, even when I didn't know any gay people, a homophobic was a red flag to me.
For years, people told me I'm intolerant of different opinions than mine. But I can tolerate them in friends just fine. However, in partners, they represent characteristics I instinctively know will make them a bad partner for me.
Our men need to pray over us. And then pray for himself.
thankyou
You’re describing yourself as a man knowing the work you’ve done internally but you know deep down that your type of black male isn’t common. You sit back and shake your head at the behavior of your black male counterparts. Black women, DATE OUT. We are not obligated to suffer like this. We’ve been loyal long enough and have got horrible results.
And yes a man need to make as close to 100k as possible so that he’s not trying to use you as a come up or make you pay the bills. Black women, date out and/or raise your standards and keep your legs closed.
You're right about women needing to close their legs, but it's kinda funny for you to frame all black women as loyal. Just like good men are hard to find, the same can be said for women in this day and age.
Thank you
What are your thoughts on dating a man with kid&you have none?
❤
does this man exist?? more than one?
Tell them he aint gay, bi, downstairs or down low
DATE OUT BLACK WOMEN.
It’s time to move on!!!
You might as well. Black men started doing that ages ago lol.
💯
Remember what a woman does. A man has taught them the behavior.
Mothers are the first teachers of the child mam
Just city girls. City girls are nice people.
😂😂😂😂
I agree with everything you say here, but I'm also tired of hearing BM speculate that most BW chase after thugs, ballers, men with money etc, which isn't true! Most BW don't move in those kinda circles and entertain men within our proximity. I'm 39 and have never been interested in thugs or bad boys. I've always dated the quiet, socially awkward, educated, nerdy, black guys (I even married one) and still got "the same black man" as Cyn G would say. The issue is that the pool of available men in our community is polluted. Most of these males aren't seeking a healthy, long-term relationship or marriage. As a result, many BW are opting to remain childless/single and/or have divested because we're not finding the right calibre of men within our own community. Sad but true.
Depends on where u living. If u grew up in the hood then odds r most bw there r gonna want a thug, etc. I think most bw in that area want that becuz that's what's being pushed into what bw should go for becuz those dudes have a type of excitement to them. But do I think most bw go for thugs in general? I'm not sure but I don't like how the finger is being pointed at bm for a problem that bw r having
If this is just how it is then thats cool but I've seen good bm out here. And I think the question should be how u find these good bm and how u would define a good bm?
You do get that your personal experience only relates to you right? He was speaking in general, and he's right.
Is Cyn G the same one that says to abort black male babies? I wouldn’t listen to her advice. And divestors are self haters.
Well that’s what we see bw do go after thugs many of y’all profess it loudly to the world if his status ain’t hood I ain’t Checking for him he betta be street when he looking at me I wish black women stop this cap thugs is what black women view as alpha
Good points, but the last 3 minutes and the points aint hitting on nothing logically. Life is hard and people need to be held accountable for their decisions. You can’t blame “good men” or “good women” for being hurt from pass relationships and that turns them into city girls and players. Nah. Those are their choices and actions. People have to blame themselves for their actions and decisions.
Not in shape that seems a little shallow for thicker built dudes but I realize this is just one opinion but definitely true about everything else look for quality versus quantity in partnership
80%diet / 20%workout....no excuses 💪
Thicker built dudes have size on their side to become muscular. Put in some work. Women don't want out of shape men.
OK don't you see your married with babies, your taken already, why didn't we meet when I was dating yrs ago, I consider myself a good woman, not on the good looking side, didn't do all that bad stuff you were talking about and still ended up with the wrong man,
Good man got that bag right??
Honestly women don’t want men like that anymore. Thanks to the manosphere 😂
YES WE DO !
I get so tired of broken and hurt dudes like you trying to be the spokesperson for women and bleeding all over the place. Go heal.
That's a lie..
You can’t even make up nothing about a man😅.
What does that even mean?
Thank you brother for this message❤❤❤🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾