ADHD or Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder? [Overlap & Differences]
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- Опубліковано 3 лют 2021
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Most people have heard of the mental health disorders ADHD and borderline personality disorder. However quiet borderline personality disorder (quiet BPD) is incredibly misunderstood. Even more misunderstood is the overlap & differences between ADHD and quiet borderline personality disorder.
People confuse their signs and symptoms. Even if they are doing therapy, why are they still experiencing inattentiveness or hyperactivity?
This video will help you discover that a more comprehensive approach to diagnosing and treating any mental health disorder is important due to the possibility of overlap-and that there are differences that may be hard to spot.
In this discussion, MedCircle host Kyle Kittleson and clinical psychologist / narcissism expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula discuss...
Quiet borderline personality disorder - how is it different from traditional borderline personality disorder?
How do the symptoms of quiet borderline personality disorder lend themselves to ADHD behavior (inattentiveness or hyperactivity)?
What percentage of people have both quiet borderline personality disorder and ADHD?
Why is there SO much overlap between quiet BPD and ADHD?
Why would one person with quiet BPD have ADHD, while someone else will not?
Is this overlap because of the environment, someone's family, genetics, something else?
To learn more about what type of provider to seek out with personality disorder, join our LIVE panel featuring multiple MedCircle psychiatrists and psychiatrists. You can register here with a Free Trial to MedCircle -
Step 1: start your free trial at bit.ly/3qAMT9t
Step 2: Claim your guaranteed seat to the Live Panel: us02web.zoom.us/webinar/regis...
Watch more mental health & psychology videos on every personality disorder and more at MedCircle:
Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)
Histrionic personality disorder (HPD)
Schizoid personality disorder (SPD)
Avoidant personality disorder (AVPD)
Paranoid personality disorder (PPD)
Schizotypal personality disorder (STPD)
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)
Obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)
Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
Dependent personality disorder (DPD)
Related: dissociative identity disorder (DID) formerly known as multiple personality disorder
#PersonalityDisorders #MentalHealth #MedCircle
Watch more mental health & psychology videos on every personality disorder and more at MedCircle:
Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)
Histrionic personality disorder (HPD)
Schizoid personality disorder (SPD)
Avoidant personality disorder (AVPD)
Paranoid personality disorder (PPD)
Schizotypal personality disorder (STPD)
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)
Obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)
Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
Dependent personality disorder (DPD)
Related: dissociative identity disorder (DID) formerly known as multiple personality disorder
#PersonalityDisorders #MentalHealth #MedCircle
Don't miss the rest of this FREE live event. Get the rest of the videos here: bit.ly/3adOACW
I wish this was a working link then I could just go straight to it instead of trying to search everywhere for it Watch all the videos related to the live streaming
@@danyelPitmon it might be over
i did this and got distracted thinking about how fast she was talking rather than what she was saying for like 3 minutes but now that im used to its sooo much better lmao
I'm not going to watch this video.but you shouldn't give those meds to anybody unless you're taking them yourself,, because it's been fixing your problem as the same...
This video is terrible. Not everyone is on the spectrum "at some point" or recover from Adhd. Wow. Do better.
tip for people with ADHD: watch the video at 1.25 speed, it helps me focus because slow convos make me zone out. thank me later:)
Edit: thanks for all the likes and nice comments, even a year later I get notifications from here lol
Me too like hurry up and to meat of the convo!
You are a genius thank you!!!
Always!! Adhd as well :)
Lolll thank you
Doesn’t have to be adhd, I just like efficiency 😁 I listen to every at 1.5x speed.
Do you ever get to a point of just thinking "Nobody knows actually any thing and none of this even matters , we're screwed"
That just happened for me.
I'm so tired.
Yes girl. As they were talking I was thinking to myself “oh my gosh we are ALL humans just trying to figure each other out who’s to say what it and isnt”
''i know that i know nothing''
yes
I know how you feel but I wouldn't worry because there have been studies for years and years and still progressing. That's why there are people that recover because of the the research.
@@SolASMR_ exactly 💕
I just want to say that the people that actually “recover” from a childhood diagnosis of ADHD were misdiagnosed as a child. You don’t grow out of ADHD, you can figure out how to mask it or cope with it enough to pass, but we will always have ADHD. You can’t just become Neurotypical if you are Neurodivergent..
perfectly said.
Adult adhd is way worse. I was one of those "recovered" kids
@@transgoddess31 it’s so hard to unlearn all of the things we were taught about ourselves and learn what adhd actually is and what all it actually effects. I’m trying to unlearn some really harmful things that were taught to me as a child with “ADD” (outdated term) I was told that it was the reason that I was behaviorally problematic and the reason I was a bad kid. I am very glad that there has been a significant advancement on the research and understanding of what ADHD actually is, but trying to unlearn negative core beliefs about myself and stop feeling the need to mask to make NTs more comfortable and feel freer and more comfortable with who I actually am and not feel the need to change myself for society is HARD WORK! But I am trying!(:
@@ecueto395 I feel like I excelled until 28, when I graduated college because I learn to navigate life through panic. But after a rape at 23....it just made my life fall apart because the low dopamine keep me from getting out of depression. I been illegally taking stimulants but I want to clean my body first,, detox and go to therapy to get on Adderall officially. I was at my wits end and had to do something or it was looking very dark for me
@@ecueto395 its like I see in color. I see where my life needs change. I see how everything I've ever experienced the moodiness. The bpd. The anger. It all stems from adhd. When I treat my adhd. I feel so normal I cried the first time. Im not waiting for deadlines to get things done. I can clean when I want to now. I can go out when I feel like. My life fall to such a low place after college I wanted to commit suicide a few times. A few psych ER visits that didn't help. Paranoid disorder and bipolar. When really if I never knew I was recovered I would told them I am adhd. Im sad I missed out, on and off about 4 years of life. This depression just didn't seem to quit. It took a hiatus when I went to Cali to live. Something about the sun and pretty palm trees did something for my adhd. I think I might go back. Nyc is home but everybody is always grouchy and on defense. I wanna move somewhere medicated so I can thrive in life again. Its been about 4 months and the changes are everything. I lost 30 pounds I needed gone. I cleaned my house spotless. I can organize my thoughts so much clearer and the kicker, all stimulant effects my mood. Im not frustrated or irritable or attention seeking to appease me anymore. I can think before I act. Im not all emotions anymore but emotion and logic. I feel so balanced. It is hard but the stimulants are letting me replace my bad habits with good ones. Dark decompression showers I love them. Listening to the sound of water helps me sleep. Letting go of all the trauma that came from living an impulsive paranoid, trial by fire life.
I feel like im me again and I wanna cry. I don't know if I will always stay medicated but atleaat long enough to start a career and improve my life and coping habits from a place of positivity
Quite honestly the overlap between all these mental health disorders makes me think just how much misdiagnosis occurs and diagnosis of many mental health disorders serves no benefit to the sufferer. Emotional dysregulation is a symptom of ADHD and borderline personality. Difficulty concentrating is a symptom of ADHD and depression. Fear of rejection and negative thoughts about yourself are a symptom of ADHD (Rejection sensitive dysphoria) and social anxiety. Asperger syndrome and ADHD both involve difficulty relating to other people and not fitting in right.
It honestly seems to me as if symptoms are the true unit of mental health and disorders are just arbitrary constructs - but I'm not a psychiatrist, what do I know.
@@thegreatdream8427 Yeah I agree. The diagnosis is really only useful to the psychiatrist and therapist since it helps them develop a treatment plan. But for the sufferer other than satisfying their curiosity it doesn't change their situation.
I have NO problem with relating to other people and i have ADHD(i am 30 btw). I am quite the opposite because i relate TO MUCH to other people and that gives me anxiety and i can "FEEL" other people WAY to MUCH and that can be really strange sometimes because MY personal experience of other people is that they are usually quite self centered and emotionally "Cold" to other people. Maybe this makes NO sense, but it's hard to explain in a few sentences here on youtube :)
@@danielengsvang3126 Guess what I meant by relating with other people and fitting in is is people clearly see something is off about you when you have ADHD. I was also diagnosed with inattentive adhd by my psychiatrist. I'm not sure if I have it or not but I definitely relate to what you speak of. Rejection sensitive dysphoria makes you feel emotions too strongly so you feel like people are out to get you. Guess it's why it resembles borderline personality so much.
@@MrWinMrWin-qr2bn Ok. Something is Really "Off" with me, and people Do Notice it. It's hard to describe, but i REALLY "Think for myself" and NOT following "Social Norms" and such. I am also SUPER kind and that does NOT "Fit in" with the Modern Male sterotype. Because of my "Odd"/strange behaviour i have also learned to be Really understanding and Tolerant(I was VERY OFTEN "Frozen out" as a kid/teenager because of me being way to talkative and quite hyper) And you Certainly learn something from that.Tolerance is what i learned, and i'm glad for it. it's like i don't THINK outside the box,, i LIVE outside the box. This all seems to make me less attractive as a male and my self esteem is quite low because of it all(Does it have something to do with rejection sensitivity?). Maybe this came out really strange but i can't organize it any better. Sorry if my english is strange, but i'm from sweden :)
I don't have a hard time getting along with others, i have a hard time getting along with myself
for me both 🤦♀️💔
It can easily turn into another when you feel like someone really is being dismissed and don't care about you like they should be
Yes!!!!
Me too! I hate myself
Me too. Like a completely different person alone in my own company than with others.
something i've found that really sucks is that while treatments like DBT have helped me become "quiet", that really only means that my BPD barely affects anyone else. i still struggle and suffer a lot inside, and it feels like treatment had just been geared to make me beneficial to others. which is great and something i guess, but i wish it weren't talked about like things are good now, because they're absolutely not. they're just good for everyone else around me.
like what does not affecting my life mean anymore? i can go to work and school and be productive and then go home and still be empty and exhausted and suicidal? it's like playing the role of a human being rather than being one.
BPD can be a misdiagnosis for Asperger’/high functioning autism. Everything she is talking about is common to the autism spectrum. The therapeutic community in the US knows very little about adult autism for people who were never diagnosed as children.
@@SB_McCollum i've heard that before, and it's very interesting to me and would honestly make a lot of sense! the more i think about it the more i could see it applying to me. but yes i wish we knew more bc it's hell to live with.
From what I'd heard DBT therapy definitely is supposed to help you internally not feel suicidal and so awful, help teach self-soothing and other emotional regulation things
THIS
they lost me at the "recover from ADHD"
Yeah that confused the hell out of me, I thought this was just how my brain is working forever...like thats just how my brain is???
@Kalesta Vazquez in my opinion that usually means the child was misdiagnosed. You don’t grow out of ADHD. your brain doesn’t just fix itself.
It's not that there's recovery, it's that they've learned to cope and coexist with neurotypical people so that it's not as noticeable. Hyperactivity is the most common symptom, and as we get older, I think it's normal for people to get burned out more quickly.
Recover as to cope. Meaning having some stability in your life than just being thrown around by your emotions al the time.
@Kalesta Vazquez well adhd is a neurodevelopmental disorder, just like autism, so it won't ever go away. So then there are two possibilities: the person has found ways to cope, mask, and function without appearing to have traits; or the person was misdiagnosed as a kid, maybe they were just a very energetic kid + so they got diagnosed with it
I think I never accepted my BPD diagnosis until recently because the BPD people I knew were suicidal, drug users, extremely angry and volatile. My traits are just more around fear of abandonment, identity issues, and anger, but I've learned to mask my symptoms for the most part to avoid abandonment.
You should never have to "Mask" it really. If i "Fake" my personality and like met a girl and then after 4 months i suddenly stopped faking i would maybe just been "changed" to a new one that is less eccentric/crazy
We suffer in silence to have interpersonal relationships.
@@danielengsvang3126 some of us mask for years…. It’s painful
wait. there are borderlines who ARENT suicidal???? i‘d love to meet them. TELL ME YOUR WAYS 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@kat-eo9cb Been suicidal recently. Found out it was my doctor that prescribed me the wrong meds for 8 years. Never had a psychiatrist till a month ago. That's Canadian healthcare for you
The idea of “everyone being on the spectrum of adhd at some point in their lives” is horrible coming from professionals...come on yes these are human behaviors but it’s about the fact that they cause serious problems in our lives if we actually have adhd
Why is it so hard for you to believe that a majority of people had some serious negative effect from lack of concentration? A lot of people fail in school or because of an inability to study cannot work in the field of their choice. This is like saying that many people fall close to the spectrum of alcoholism in their lives : the fact some level of it is widespread does not negate the fact some have it very very much harder than others
@@laza8675 the majority of people I know do not struggle with any of the things I struggle with. My spouse sometimes struggles with motivation but the reason behind it is never the same as mine. If you relate to the criteria for adhd then you have adhd. You shouldn’t assume everyone alive struggles in this way because all it does is hold you back in your own life. I’m not saying everyone else has it easy, of course everyone struggles in some way at some point. The difference with adhd is a pattern of behavior over long periods of time, and the behavior is negatively affecting multiple aspects of the persons life. This mentality does more harm than good, even if you really believe it.
@@laza8675 Struggling with concentration is not ADHD, that’s the problem.
@@laza8675 you think ADHD is just lack of concentration? There is a wide range of symptoms and it is very debilitating. It is not simply "i have a hard time focusing" as people seem to think it is.
@lara iza someone with adhd (like myself who is even medicated and uses resources) still have a hard time at work, in relationships, doing normal activities, at home, etc in almost everything we do in life. It affects our thinking, choices, our speech, mood, everything. Someone who doesn’t have adhd may just have a hard time concentrating at something like reading a chapter in a book.
I think unidentified, untreated adhd as a child does not only turn to adult adhd but it is also highly likely to turn into BPD and the Dr. clearly explained one of the reason why, the trauma of rejection. I think it can hit harder on people who are naturally extroverts than introverts and not being able to be yourself around people because of your ADHD/BPD, the anxiety the you always carry within its extremely painful and exhausting and I think a teen or young adult ends up turning the anger inward or hating themselves for not being able to be themselves.
That was me. It was like I was reading my own journal
I been taking stims illegally but omg the difference is like seeing in black and white to seeing hd. Life is so colorful and productive for me again
Crying in the comment section
Omg it feels so good to be related to. I thought it was just me and i’ve never been able to explain it.
Undiagnosed ADHD when I was a kid. Parents threw me in an after-school care home thing cause they couldn't handle me, I was just a problem child to them. All they did at that place was humiliate me. I recently went through my childhood boxes and found a notebook from back then. Apparently I had to fill in a form after dinner every single day, detailing what I did "wrong" and could do better. Every single day was "I talked too much/I was too loud/I moved around too much, I won't do it again tomorrow".
One time when I was having a 1-on-1 session with a """counselor""" (word used very liberally) there, she told me I was just "acting out" because I was "trying to copy my brother for attention" (diagnosed aspergers syndrome). Yeah that totally didn't leave me with lasting trauma. All they did there was suppress me for being my own self, for society's convenience. Sorry for the random rant, your comment just hit me really hard lmao
I'm pretty sure i went from having normal borderline personality disorder to having quiet borderline personality disorder over the years. I used to lash out at people and was very toxic but now all of that toxicity is mostly aimed at myself through hurting myself or talking negatively about myself.
Same! I think it might be for me at least because as I got older that lashing out behavior becam way less socially acceptable. Like a 12 year old screaming and crying and slamming her face into the wall is already disturbing but people’s reactions get worse when you are 20 and doing that if that makes sense
I'm mostly quiet bpd until I'm in a situation where I get very close to someone, usually dating them and being very vulnerable or having a close friend, then the more stereotypical bpd symptoms come out
Since mental disorders are on a continuum, it's not impossible or uncommon for symptom presentations to change over time. You might have severe symptoms that are disabling one year, and then have different, mild symptoms that still bug you at another time.
@@EthanPearson keep in mind- personality disorders are just that- a maladapted personality thinking pattern that you developed.
same, i live in constant guilt and suffering on the inside.. but i just don’t want to hurt anyone anymore
11:00 Finally I hear something about peers and bullies causing trauma. They always talk about parents being the source of the trauma.
I feel like videos like these start to show how psychology still barely knows anything - esp with diagnosing... I wish we'd stop treating it like we know everything when it's still such a relatively new science and very little is known. We'd come a lot farther in treating and diagnosing mental health issues if professionals came from the stand point of not having it all figured out
So true - me and several friends have done years or decades of formal therapy without real improvement. While others have gotten better within weeks of therapy. Now I've started a more self-directed self-help approach and I'm already feeling way better anxiety-wise. Professionals who are open to find out what works and what doesn't without clinging too much on guidelines that don't fit the client are a true blessing :)
Thats very true and also its ironic how neurodivergence is pretty much mostly studied by neurotypicals. Its likely why there are many misconceptions and the literature tends to sort of alienate neurodivergent people and portray them in a monolithic manner
I feel that so hard. I’m currently a grad student in neuroscience, and I’ve been fighting hospital leadership so hard to start admitting the (many) faults and weaknesses in the system to patients, especially when patients are resisting treatment. We’re gonna be stuck with a sort of one-size-fits-all system, or at least something akin to that, for a while since the research isn’t there yet, so you may as well just be upfront with people so they can at least trust that the healthcare system is genuinely doing its best to help. They tend to shame the shit out of people who are combative or who disagree with a treatment they want to do, and that’s incredibly fucked up
From what I’ve learned from talking with hospital leadership, the primary concern is that patients will lose confidence that treatment will work (and thus give up entirely) if doctors aren’t confident in the treatment plan they’re suggesting. But I think they’re grossly underestimating how much people figure out on their own, and in a way, it’s lying... like sure buddy, misleading patients with confidence is a great way to handle things 😒
Yes! And now I'm sooo skeptical of mental health "professionals " and what they say. It's kinda like this whole covid reaction. Being overly confident on the front end and not addressing things with honesty and humility DOES NOT serve your purpose in the long run. People eventually feel like the experts are full of crap no matter what they say and can't trust that there is actual help available.
@LIV Liv don’t you mean “gray” areas? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I have been diagnosed with BPD and ADHD. I always resonated with Quiet BPD more than the DSM criteria of BPD.
Me too ❤️
same💞
Me too. This video was SO helpful. ❤️ you are not alone!
me too
I think I might be struggling to find out whether I have both and i am not lately feeling anymore capable of going towards trying to get diagnosed so it's nice to find someone in the comments that has both
not me just realizing that being constantly ignored and excluded from peers when i was younger can be considered trauma, god i love mu adhd
@@JoseRRodriguez update: got diagnosed with bpd a couple months ago
Here's a question - adhd or anxiety and depression? It seems like there's so much overlap. Both depression and anxiety can make it difficult to concentrate, stay organised, start and finish projects, daydreaming, fidgeting etc.
For me personally, they've overlapped a lot. Because my anxiety was so bad as a child the symptoms of the other two only began exhibiting in high school. I noticed the depression when the anxiety meds I was on sent me into a suicidal episode and the ADHD came out in college when I was trying to study for harder classes. Unfortunately they all sort of grouped together in one big mega disorder. The anxiety prevents me from being able to form close relationships, the depression makes it very difficult to stay present and involved and the ADHD makes it hard to focus and keep myself grounded. I know I'm not a psychologist but that's just my personal experience.
@@wombatperson5431, your personal experience is completely valid and worth sharing. I think the bits and pieces of this problem or that disorder, combined with all of our positive attributes is what we're made of, if that makes sense.
@@elizabethhannah6836 i totally agree, in a weird way I am who I am because of these issues and tbh, although they suck, I think they’ve made me a more understanding person. So in that way, I appreciate them.
Untreated Adhd usually causes anxiety and depression so they become comorid. Anxiety due to the racing thoughts and hyperactivity and depression due to the inability to achieve what you feel you should be able to.
@@killakian yes, that’s.. that’s exactly it. It’s a vicious cycle.
As someone who has been tossed both of these diagnoses, I'm very curious about this one.
Same here. Should be interesting
I'm literally waiting for a diagnosis just because of confusion between these two things
Same!!!
Same
Me too plus adhd
Ummm...ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder. No. Most people are NOT on the spectrum. No. You don’t grow out of ADHD. That’s like saying you grow out of being an amputee. That’s not possible. You either do or don’t have it. Wow. This video was a nightmare to go through. The misinformation was ALARMING. I’m...wow.
Depends what model you follow. If neurological yes. However I think other possibilities. Having have ADHD and I suspected BPD
@@TheFaro2011 No. ADHD is not something you "grow out of" unless you're using an outdated model. Again, you can't outgrow it. Your brain develops slower by up to 30%! And even when it's done it won't be to the extent that the "normal" person's is. That's like saying you can outgrow autism. You can't. Simple as.
@@dont_harsh_my_mellow thanks. i had done other research on this and i was a bit confused when she said those things. perhaps she meant everyone can have some symptoms of adhd at some point, and recover from those. i'm pretty sure I don't have it but I identify with a lot. like hyperfocus on what i care about, can't concentrate on things i don't. can't finish what i started. can't listen to videos on normal speed anymore because i stop paying attention and zone out, daydreaming which means i'm rarely bored because my mind is always thinking about something else. emotional disregulation, fear of rejection but yeah there's plenty more wrong with me but i don't have a name for any of it.
First off, love the energy and passion you’ve got for this topic! It’s certainly needed in the mental health community.
However, you can definitely outgrow ADHD since a disorder is defined as something that negatively affects your life. There are lots of ways that people can learn to manage their symptoms, or ways that people can go about life in a way that’s far more conducive to an individual who has difficulty with attention, motivation, hyperactivity, and all the other symptoms. And to be honest, the school system, particularly how it is structured in the US, is one of the worst possible environments for an individual with ADHD, regardless of which type it is. You’re absolutely correct that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the individuals brain will be like that forever- after all, we’re undergoing brain development until around the age of 25, so it’s certainly possible that someone could be developing along the ADHD axis for a while, and then, for whatever reason, their brain shifts out of that wiring (maybe it’s a change in the ADHD wiring, or maybe it’s some sort of compensatory wiring that counteracts the ADHD symptoms. It’s hard to tell because that sort of thing can be exceptionally difficult to detect on a brain scan). I think I get what you’re trying to say by comparing it to an amputee- it’s just as real, just as physical, and just as lifelong- but the brain, and cognitive processes in general (like emotion, as opposed to basic functions like swallowing) are a little more nuanced than that since the brain changes a LOT during development in response to all kinds of things. And that’s not even considering how much the brain can still change in adulthood (it’s called plasticity- super cool stuff!). To be clear, that doesn’t mean that a good chunk of people diagnosed with ADHD as a child never grow out of it because thats absolutely the case, and scientists would LOVE to know how certain people do and others don’t. Does all of that make sense? I’m a neuroscientist myself, so I would love to help explain anything or direct you towards other research on the topic if you’re interested or want to see the research that I’m pulling from
You can learn to manage ADHD labeling is crippling. ADHD has been there and dealt with before they were labels
Now Im confused if I have bpd, adhd or cptsd because I am victim of narcissistic abuse
It isn’t really an either or sort of thing. Could be two or even all three. If you can find a therapist that specializes in all three and they could help you sort it.
Or all of the above
this im currently trying to get diagnosed but im just so confused
This can stem from narcissistic abuse?????????
I have all three 😐
info dump ramble here, to correct a lot of the adhd misinformation in this:
a lot of people have mentioned this part already, but you can't "recover" from adhd, you can only manage it with medication, councilling, masking, and sometimes just age can decrease some symptoms, the same way you also can't often "develop" adhd. you're either born with it, because it's (as far as i remember) a genetic thing, or you can SOMETIMES get it from a traumatic brain injury. however, sometimes symptoms don't appear until before the age of 12, if that's what they mean.
Neurotypical crap from MedCircle angered me in 2020-2023. They repeat the same CBT BS with social anxiety, too.
I wrote about it in comments, but obviously, like Rush Stockton they don't have developed importance of Feedback or Peer Review concept.
I watched their recent video with Dr Ramani where she talked about Quiet BPD - that I never heard before - and it was breakthrough video for me, so I watch MedCircle again.
“Has it ever struck you that life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quick you hardly catch it going?”― Tennessee Williams.
You don’t recover from ADHD!! It’s a hereditary neurological disorder.
Actually it is known that some children do not carry adhd symptoms in adulthood (whether this is because they fall off the radar, or they cope better in adulthood). I was diagnosed as an adult. However some children are diagnosed in childhood aren’t they, but they don’t carry it over into adulthood because they learn coping strategies etc. Therefore they might not actually state to employers or stats that they have adhd. I don’t think Judy meant that they “recover” from adhd:)
@@katherinewhite5880 Either they learned coping mechanisms/masking or they were misdiagnosed. There is no “recovering”
No, it’s not.
I'm extremely retarded cause I got diagnosed with ADHD or a chance of it by the doctors
It's not real.
This is an older video so maybe no one will read this but here goes; I was diagnosed with bpd 6 years ago then ADD 3 years ago. I was also believed to have type two bipolar at some point. I'm a recovering alcoholic and bulimic too. Those were pretty spot on! The other diagnoses? Well, a few years back I just decided bollocks to whatever bit of alphabet soup you want to throw at me, ingoing to look at what my mind chatter says the most, how that chatter affects my life and go from there. I am affected massively by rejection and I believe myself to be unattractive and unworthy of love from the opposite sex. Whatever I have according to the DSM notwithstanding, these things affect me terribly. I then began an inward odyssey to understand WHY I fear rejection and see myself as ugly. I did this through counselling and a fucktonne of my own research and analysis. I journalled, I wrote poetry, I held a mirror up and took a long hard and often painful look at myself. And I didnt run away. I faced myself and my demons. I lost a lot of friends in the process but to be honest, you need to clear out your life wardrobe before you can get new shiny better fitting clothes. I don't give a shit what the professional types say I have. I'm not interested in propping up statistics or assisting big pharma in making even more money on drugs as a result of the DSM getting bigger as more mental health issues are invented. I wanted to know ME. The whys around why I was I was and the how's around how to heal. I'm still a work in progress and Lord knows I've stepped back as well as forwards on this journey. But I'm bloody well journeying. 😌 On my terms. Xx
Hmmm 🤪
Well done, that's amazing self awareness 💖
@@kugakuga3579 thank you! 😊
I love that term alphabet soup! 😂 I get ya!
Love this comment 💖 I feel very similar and have been on a long self healing journey without clinical psychology being part of it. I’ve never pursued a diagnosis but learning about adhd (the only official diagnosis I received 24 years ago) has been helpful for me. Everything has so many overlapping symptoms that I wonder how helpful it is. I know my own issues so why tack more labels onto myself? I look for modalities that can help me with my specific issues.
I was once accidentally diagnosed bpd/depressed… later got diagnosed with ADHD. Medication fixed things almost immediately lol
Same! I'm also female. Telling the mh practitioners "i feel overwhelmed/don't know where to start/etc" given the tired old (lazy, low hanging fruit) dx of depression/anxiety. Tried various meds for it (ssri/snri/even tricyclics) but never worked. Know what did? Actually having another adult with ADHD talk to me, get in front of a gp who actually listened to me, knew about ADHD (so so many mh practioners only train in mh disorders, but know NOTHING about how to differential diagnose/rule in or out ADHD). Actually get prescribed stimulants. And just LIKE THAT: profound calm. Ability to decide where to put my attention. WOW.
@@fascistscansuckit hi, im really not sure if my depression is a result of adhd or the reason that i cant start and focus anything is depression. can you say some of your symptoms for me to understand which is more likely? i have an appointment in tuesday and i dont want to get the incorrect diagnosis.
realizing all of the symptom overlap in addition with having multiple diagnoses almost feels counterproductive..i’m like ok HOW DO I TREAT THIS WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFO 😭
You can also seem to suffer from quiet BPD if you're being abused, that's why I was misdiagnosed. DBT didn't help but all of the symptoms magically disappeared when I was out of the abusive relationship (except for the impulsiveness that comes from my ADHD and low self-esteem from depression). I wish therapists were more aware of that instead of throwing labels at people who are being systematically broken down day by day.
PTSD and BPD share a lot of symptoms…honestly I feel BPD is just one way trauma can express, like if a neurodivergent person is traumatized they can develop BPD. I’m happy your issues went away and you got out of the bad relationship ☺️
I don't feel like this video actually explained the differences between the two :(
Right? It said how they were similar
They're probably the same. The field of psychology still knows very little about mental health... like Complex PTSD also has these same symptoms of both
@@cl8759 I'm not sure this is true. My understanding of bpd is that there's a severe fear of real/perceived abandonment along with other symptoms. This isn't present in adhd, rather a sensitivity to rejection. There are issues with emotion regulation but not to the levels of BPD. But you're right, our understanding of mental health is always improving and being developed. I wouldn't say they're the same though.
@@Akanchwua I think C-PTSD and ADHD might be the same sometimes or at least C-PTSD causes ADHD? But yeah quiet BPD i think of as super different from ADHD based on how ADHD in and of itself isn't going to lead to the self harm/self loathing that quiet BPD does, etc
@@VioletEmerald I'm not sure about this either, cptsd presents similar symptoms to bpd, although the fear of abandonment isn't usually found in cptsd, but in terms of cptsd and adhd, the only similarities I can think of would be that there can be a struggle to regulate emotion with both, and ptsd is comorbid with depression/anxiety which can lead to difficulty concentrating and other inattentive symptoms, also it makes sense that if you have cptsd you may feel more scattered etc. Are there any other similarities you can think of?
Bullying is my most significant complex trauma. I feel so validated as someone with BPD. I love these videos so much! ❤️
Since when does ADHD develop ? It's neurological structure... Not triggered psychological pathology ! My ADHD (+TSA) were there from birth, I didn't sleep right, already influenced by sensory hypersensitivity ! Depression showed up when I was expected to seat still and behave. So middle school. Psychological pathologies show once trauma, triggers, life events occur... Developing ADHD isn't an accepted concept, that would be neurological damages (accident, drug use etc...) mimicking ADHD but it wouldn't be called ADHD.
Yes! That's what I also understood. I think she should talk in more clear terms about this. It's different to have ADHD and have "ADHD-like sympthoms". Those can be cause by many things but they can't be called ADHD.
damn, you just explained my entire life in a nutshell. the misinformation in this video really bothers me
@@WCmexico98 You are not alone, you are not lazy, you deserve to love yourself and take the breaks you need when you need, even if it's just standing and jumping around for a minute. You are not silly or stupid. You are doing your best.
Depends on your symptoms, what they call developing is probably just how u cope in ur environment. When I was younger I didn't have much problems with my adhd because the environment which I was in both educationally and at home were doable. Impulsivity was managed by the fact I was in a third world country without much freedom to even try to be impulsive. Education was easy cause I could pass tests without much study and people around me were smart and liked to talk about class so it was an engaging way for to learn the basics of the content. It was only really high school where things got really precarious and when I went to uni where it all went to shit cause I cant concentrate for more than 2 minutes. I'm hoping one day I can get off medication. That being said I did have ADHD symptoms as long as I can remember but then again some of the symptoms in the DSM are classed by how much they affect your life.
TBH BPD is lifelong too I have it and the way that u treat yourself is going through two different types of psychotherapy and in my case antipsychotics. Even when I'm done I'll still have to carry the coping mechanisms and self therapy that I learned so I'll never truly be cured I'll just have mastery over the symptoms and my emotions. It can be triggered or it can be genetic. My case is genetic cause my father was BPD. But I never experienced any trauma cause my mother got a restraining order on my father when I was a baby and I was really protected and loved throughout my life. So it's entirely genetic for me. It involves a seretonin deficiency and developmental problems in the amygdala and hypocampus which are regions which control and restrain emotions and perception. BPD is just one of those conditions that can be entirely genetic and due to neurological structure or trauma faced during childhood which affect neurological structure. But regardless neurological structure is still affected. Its not entirely psychological and I've had my BPD for as long as I can remember too.
Hope this helps
I have BPD. My partner has ADHD. We love each other intensely--it's the best relationship I've ever had, and he says the same--though it can be distracting for both of us. I'm trying to understand him better, and in the process am learning a lot about myself. Thank you for helping!
My BPD expresses as inward-directed aggression, though it's not "quiet" in any sense of the word. I was diagnosed 25 years after the traumatic brain injury that triggered it, after a street brawl with a narcissistic ex boyfriend. I was one of the two people who called 911, and I basically begged the responding officers to take me into custody. I still act with self-destructive behavior sometimes, and I think it's related to not getting enough quiet time to myself. This is scary and a bit hurtful to think about. Time to watch the last 16-1t2 minutes of the video!
Not true, @Link Link. Hate is the other side of love--they are intricately connected. I do my best not to hate anyone because it's a harmful emotion, and the person it harms most is me. Unfortunately, if I love someone and something happens, my first impulse is to reverse the emotion to hate, so mental gymnastics are required.
@@wendychavez5348 you don’t even know what love is
@@Morningstar_-ed8xf, you're free to think that, though you don't have nearly enough information to make that judgment about me.
You really see the difference between ADHD and BPD mainly in intimate relationships, in BPD you'll see these things specifically: splitting, push pull dynamic, the devaluation cycle, triangulation, projective identifcation and acting out based on that projection causing confusion in the partner or close friend, abandonment fear, 'hoovering', making false claims against partner i.e. character assasination. There's also the high level of suicidality, of the 'cry for help' or even revenge type in terms of blaming others for suicidal behaviour. There's also the issues with a core narcissistic wound. Overall these are things not usually associated with ADHD but with BPD. Because just about all of these behaviours are aimed only at their closest partners, or an FP {favourite person} other people may not see any of this and presume the partner in fact lying or being manipulative when they talk about the person with BPDs behaviours, as is seen a lot in 'quiet BPD' it just being hidden from most people. Whereas a person with ADHD's symptoms will be seen more easily by multiple people over time, such as lateness and distraction etc etc if they aren't good at masking their behaviours. Frankly it's only the surface level symptoms that are similar, yet in the specific example between rejection sensitivity in BPD and ADHD, although at first seems similar the degree is more extreme in BPD. I'm also talking about adults with these disorders as both the disorders present differently in children and to a different degree. So it wouldn't be right to measure adult BPD for example against childhood ADHD symptoms or vice versa.
Wow! You just clarified that better than any video I've watched so far. I asked a psych I think I have ADHD. I've been diagnosed with depression anxiety PTSD for years but knew there was more to it. Started thinking I have ADHD. The psychiatrist I saw said I have BPD, and he did seem to nail me to a T! Everything you just said. But then I started watching lots of MedCircle videos and started questioning whether it is BPD or actually ADHD.
But your breakdown right there just confirmed it. My ex is ADHD and everything you said is correct. Always late, distracted, never present, impulsive etc. I am obsessively on time or early & every other thing you just said about BPD so that clears that up.
Thanks for that. I'm actually going to screen shot it so I can remember the breakdown coz you did it so well.
@@73kristilee I have ADHD and so does my son, I've had relationships with people who had ADHD and BPD and know some acquaintences with BPD, when you live with people for a long time and research those things to try and make things work suff becomes very apparent especially when behaviours work in very repetitive cycles and come round again and again. Counsellors don't always see it because people mask, and don't see these people on a daily basis. But ironically it's one of the reasons I decided to train as a counsellor, apart from the complete shambles that was the support I recieved as a child in the 90's with ADHD.
Apparently BPD and ADHD can be comorbid, but in that case you'd have to seperate the specific behaviours to work out whether that is really the case. Also, ADHD is something that is very easy to get a diagnosis of, so there is a trend (mainly originating out of online groups, but also because an ADHD diagnosis is now free and easier to obtain in the UK at least as an adult) at the moment for people with BPD to try and get an ADHD diagnosis to avoid the stigma of the label of BPD, sometimes it's accurate and sometimes it's not. The common factor in a relationship I see as an issue though is rejection sensitivity, so as a partner it is navigating how you help your loved one realise you aren't rejecting them without becoming an emotional punchbag as a result, usually through projective identification.
Medcircle, can you consider doing a video on anger in depression vs. quiet BPD? I've struggled with anger for over a decade, and to me it's a key part of my quiet bpd. But for years I was misdiagnosed with depression, which can show anger symptoms. I wish there was more education out there about the difference so it could help more people recognize the symptoms.
Kyle, thank you for shining the light on BPD. Just for clarity: you don’t ‘get’ BPD or ADhD. You ‘have’ it or ‘suffer from’ it or ‘live with’ it Important distinction!
Exactly, I’m livid they claim they’re experts yet spreading misinformation
Yeah, I’m seriously considering unsubscribing from MedCircle because of this video. Phrases like theirs is the reason it’s so incredibly difficult to get diagnosed with ADHD or BPD as an adult.
Kids still forgot to put the trash bag in after taking out the trash growing up. Their working memory still wasn’t fully functional and it still isn’t. Those are just things you learn to not make a big deal out of or people aren’t around to notice therefore we don’t notice…
Not even close to accurate. You're born w/ ADHD. You can acquire BPD by neglect, bad parenting, lack of soothing in childhood. This video is garbage. No offense to her, but she isn't communicating well in this video and these two disorders are not similar. This is why ppl need to stop diagnosing themselves and stop going to LPC's and 'counselors' or social workers and make sure they do seek out qualified DOCTORAL LEVEL psychologists who graduated from accredited universities.
@@HunnyBee23 I did unsubscribe in 2022. I tried to communicate that CBT is ableist therapy - but nobody reads the comments - obviously they see us as drama queens who are hysterical Karens and we are sheep or chicken in the farm that are used as clicks for videos and nothing more.
This is life-changing. I have diagnosed ADHD but it's the first time I hear about quiet bpd and it makes so much sense to me!
Me too. It feels very fitting along with my adhd.
@@katherinewhite5880 shes describing asd youre welcome
@@studiofrmda6ix24 What the hell is ASD?
I want to comment regarding The “emerging” of ADHD. With ADHD, there are strong evidence that many are hereditary. I don’t know the exact breakdown between hereditary v “emerging” but it’s fairly high probability that when a parent or parents have them, their offspring will have adhd.
And bpd based on my experience is more likely developed due to past events. Where higher probable that it’s “emerged”.
I likely have both.
I do have both. ADHD is genetic. Borderline Personality Disorders follows the bio social model, a genetic vulnerability with overcharged emotional component along with an invalidating/abusive childhood environment.
I am a quiet borderline and have always wondered if I had adhd or a form of it. This is interesting!
“keep it to themselves, suppress feelings of anger & withdraw while upset” doing all 3 now😂 it’s pretty tough having qbpd but glad to be in therapy.
Thank you Dr Judy
If you already know good basics about these conditions, have either bpd or adhd (or both) yourself or /really/ know a person and listened to them extensively, this video could be interesting to you because you can just skim over the misinformation. Other than that I feel like med circle really loves some degree of sensationalism of any mental health conditions and I'd rather suggest anyone seeking information to turn to other sources. We've reached a time where you can easily find a variety of sources from people explaining their own conditions better than any UA-cam "professional" can.
AMEN!
I met a girl with BPD once before being in any kind of mental health treatment program and it is very interesting to look back onto that experience knowing what I know now: that I have ADHD. I think she was one of the reasons I started looking more into BPD and essentially thinking I’ve had it before meeting my therapist who was like “heck no, you don’t have that!” and being diagnosed with ADHD (my second suspicion) about 6 months later, hahaha.
you met a traumatized human.
@@harvey1547 aren’t a lot of people traumatized
As a neurodevelopmental condition, you don't "recover" from ADHD. A treatment of symptoms is not a recovery. You can't develop ADHD as an adult either for the same reason. On the contrary, you HAVE to develop a personality disorder in adulthood, which is not neurodevelopmental (at least until further research). ADHD is not a psychological condition, holy heck. The fact that you got this well-known fact wrong worries me about the information you're spreading, no matter how good your intentions.
lol i was just thinking that.. We can't recover from a neurological condition, tf..
You can’t exactly “recover” from BPD either.
@@ilikemyrealname yeah that claim is also incorrect; however personality disorders *typically* (not always) are diagnosed in adulthood. Even if symptoms are present in adolescence, healthcare do not like to diagnose that young
AMEN! For sure
1000%. When I heard that I was like wait, what? That’s very much not what I’ve learned from my psychiatrists! It’s damaging to say that considering a large portion of neurodiverse people don’t know and grow up thinking they’re useless and can change but they’re not good enough to be able to. And that inherently we came out wrong. I’m obviously talking personally but it’s what I’ve noticed talking to others on adhd spectrum too. I think ‘sorry’ would be my most used word since I can remember. Particularly with the inattentive type and as a woman. I know I’m drilling down but jeepers, that’s a rough thing to hear knowing a lot of people will take it onboard as fact after it’s been proved incorrect
I would like to affirm the comment that was made about people recovering from BPD. Many people think you have BPD your entire life, but I am proof that like other disorders, you can recover and go on to live a more "normal" life. Thank you for saying that !
Thank you MedCircle... Your videos have helped me SO MUCH with assisting my sibling through their BPD and Bipolar. When I am feeling overwhelmed, I come watch these videos. They are so good! Keep watching if you are feeling desperate. They have AMAZING videos.
I'm autistic/ADHD and honestly I can't see how this is any different from ASD level 1 which commonly co-occurs with ADHD (neurodiversity is a spectrum). Prolonged autistic masking causes a fractured sense of identity, imposter syndrome, and frequent burnout from disregulation.
This was written 5 months ago but I just wanted to say thank you. That makes a lot of sense and lately I’ve been struggling between how I relate to ASD vs BPD, and I think this helped clear it up a bit. ❤️
Minus my abandonment issues, the root of my pervasive traumas comes from my experiences in school as someone with undiagnosed ADHD. And not just in school, this sense of rejection and "otherness" continued into the workplace in adulthood. I wasn't dx w ADHD until my mid 30s. The potential BPD, however, was recognized in my teens. I feel pretty certain had I been dx and treated for my ADHD *much* sooner in life, I may have avoided other mental health issues altogether. Instead, I'm a bundle of them. :/
I feel there's way too much concentration on the potential issues in one's home/family life, which misses the fact that for the first 12ish years of our life we're at school just as often as we're at home/with family. Obviously what happens at school has a HUGE impact, regardless of our family/home life.
Overlap is a word I hear more and more and I begin to wonder how accurate it is to expect clear delineations when diagnosing? I keep hearing the same terminology used with varying disorders and the mention of comorbidities. I am very late diagnosed ASD that learned to camouflage traits early on as self defense. I also grew up in a household of neglect, drugs, alcohol, emotional abuse, violence and invalidation. At this point I'd say CPTSD is a significant factor in my difficulties as well traits bearing a striking resemblance to Quiet BPD. I never hear anyone making the connection between ASD with CPTSD and BPD but I wonder. Both ASD and BPD have indications of genetic origins and both are inclined to have elements of trauma induced symptoms. With many women with ASD being undiagnosed due to a greater capacity to camouflage their traits and more women being diagnosed with BPD than men, perhaps there is a closer connection between ASD/CPTSD and BPD than recognized?
the mental health industry loves overlap. more money, more control, more PUBLISHING. so important.
Facts
The common denominator here is, like you said, trauma. - abuse, neglect, invalidation, etc. That's it.
You have no idea how much I needed this
this whole video just felt so......I would not trust any of these people to actually have any clue what my ADHD is like lol. idc if they're professionals. tf is "recover from ADHD"
Yeah that's a second video I watch of that lady (the other one was about misdiagnosis of ADHD) and in both she kinda seems like she only knows the surface of ADHD.
I need to read about the borderline somewhere more because for now the new "quiet borderlime" kinda seems like "how could we label even more girls and women as irrationally emotional and unhinged?" (nearly every time I see a woman who was misdiagnosed and then got correct diagnosis, it was either borderline or bipolar as the original diagnosis).
or people can’t just ??? get adhd unless it’s from like. brain injuries. brain chemistry altering things. like what U ARE BORN WITH IT???
It's learning to mask your symptoms and rearrange your life enough to not struggle as much. It's not a cure, it's just good management.
The lady in green made it sound as though people with insecure attachment style (anxious-preoccupied, fearful-avoidant, dismissive avoidant) would be on the spectrum of BPD. They are not. Should have been pointed out instead of... well basically blurred. It could cause a great deal of harm.
Both were discussed for me - but complex PTSD fit better and treatment for this is working. I’ve heard that CPTSD and quiet BPD are often related though.
makes sense as i feel i have cptsd aspects as well
Given that bpd in general is linked with trauma, and the symptoms of the two overlap a lot, it makes sense that cptsd treatment works well for you. I'm glad to hear treatment is working for you
@@elizabethhannah6836 I’m a therapist and BPD is almost always linked to trauma. There are some genetic and environmental components but it’s most commonly linked to trauma.
I’ve seen many things linking BPD in general to trauma. I’ve also heard a lot of research that connects (or has a hard time distinguishing) “quiet” BPD from CPTSD.
I didn’t really fit classic BPD (no outward rages, no sudden switching between thinking of people as “good” or “bad”), but neither quiet BPD or CPTSD are really billable diagnoses here in the US.
I’m no mental health expert but think all three share many common denominators as well as aspects of treatment. As far as my personal experience goes- treatment professionals were not familiar with quiet BPD- so I didn’t do well with classic BPD treatment.
I have a feeling they might treat CPTSD and quiet BPD more similarly. I’m currently receiving transcranial magnetic simulation on both left and right hemispheres (along with therapy) and this has helped me tremendously.
@@elizabethhannah6836 No. Not new at all, in my opinion.
I have an ex/bgf that grew up in a v. sick & abusive alcoholic, military family ... and violent brothers, as well.
I got sick of her abuses and "Egg-shell" BS!
I have cPTSD, ADHD-c, PDD (with bouts of “double depression”), and GAD. So many doctors just throw a BPD diagnosis at me because it is easier for them to do that than for them to look at how all of my diagnoses work together and the way they can seem to kind of present as something else when put together. BPD has never seemed to perfectly fit me, none of the types fully fit..
I was with a trauma trained, EMDR, Brainspotting therapist for SIX years and she has diagnosed me with these (ADHD was diagnosed at age 8 and was diagnosed with Depression and GAD for the majority of my life)
I had a new therapist (now ex-therapist) for 16 months that kept getting actually upset with me for rejecting the idea that I could have BPD. She was mad that even though she wasn’t completely sure that I had BPD, I didn’t think I did and stood by my diagnoses.. she actually yelled at me during our last session together while I was crying because she was yelling at me for no appropriate reason.
I had a psychiatrist at the hospital I was admitted to after my first, and only, suicide attempt (age 24) try to diagnose me with BPD while I was still incoherent and told my family that my attempt was “just for attention.” Unfortunately, my father still thinks that my attempt was only for attention because of this asshat doctor and he continues to completely invalidate my traumas, pain, and life struggles.
I love how people are so quick to diagnose someone. I spent SIX YEARS with my therapist tracking all of my moods, multiple traumas, and trying to properly diagnose me with diagnoses that fit me and I don’t think other professionals should throw all of that away because they think they know better when they don’t.. You don’t need to re-diagnose every patient that is new to you. I’m not a passport that needs every professional to put their own diagnosis stamp on me. 🙄😒
Yeah I think it's important to get closure at some point and experts confronting me with different opinions messes with that. I don't like strangers throwing a diagnosis on me either, especially because they don't even recommend different treatment options for me. So what's the point learning I have bpd when they tell me to just start any therapy with whoever I feel comfortable with even though I already tried that.
My experience with mental health and medical community has pretty much made me hate everyone who calls themselves a doctor
@@a.i.n.e DBT is fantastic for everyone and does help with BPD and Trauma which is fantastic definitely recommend that and getting a therapist that is trauma certified is great! It takes time to find out what type of therapy will work for you, but if you have any trauma I definitely recommend EMDR. Also, if you end up seeing a therapist and not vibing with them it’s totally okay to get a new one that suits your needs and personality better. Good luck hon!
@@zegeist333 I felt this way for a very long time. I’m still not comfortable with psychiatrists. I will say I have been able to find two amazing therapists and I have more faith in therapy and therapists than I do in psychologists and psychiatrists.
I’ve been fkd over so many times and it’s extremely difficult to keep trying when you’ve had so many bad experiences.
I just know that my main priority is getting healthy mentally and so I have to do whatever I can to make that happen.
Excellent video! Glad I caught it live! Thanks for the chat guys! 😁
Wow MedCircle is really zoning in on BPD it seems...
I know! I have it and it’s good to know it’s not as stimatized as much
Yes Finally! Few years back when I googled about it, it mainly showed hate videos about bpd people.
i love ittttt. it really opens my mind up. my bf has ADHD and i have BPD and it’s interesting to see how much we have in common when i previously assumed they were so different.
That’s great
I love it!!
I am one of those “highly psychologically skilled” BPD sufferers mentioned at ~14:45. Only because like the doctor says, I have done so much research and work on myself. (Also I am super super tuned-in to others around me.)
I tend to direct the anger to myself and bottled up emotional pain, self harm is like past the boiling point last resort of release and relief cus crying doesn't always release it all. I also exhibit empathic tendencies as well. I feel others pain and take it in as my own, sometimes to the point where I can't tell if it's someone else's pain or my own until I am away from that person.
I always felt alone around people most likely stemming from my parents neglect and concern for my well being.
I felt alienated for the way I thought and processed information, lead poisoning didn't help matters much. I was always very different from my peers. Like my eyes were open and my reciever was on. I saw thru ppls lies but didn't call them out.
I grew up with a narsisist alcoholic mother who was sexually abused n her childhood and My dad was a womanizer but also a victim of abuse and neglect from his adopted parents.
He wasn't really in my life. Rolling stone and all..
My family wasn't familiar with mental illness and so they ignored it if it wasn't physically visible. When I exhibited signs of bipolar disorder and silent bpd, ptsd and lead poisoning, they didn't connect my behaviors to mental or psychological disorders. They did take me to doctor appts for the lead poisoning but didn't think of how much damage it caused me. As I ended up in special help classes cus I didn't pay attention in class. I would sit and draw and tune out. Or stare outside wishing I could fly like a bird to get away. I'd daydream n class and my grades would turn out low but testing scores were pretty high in some subjects.
Had my first mental break down at age 20. It felt like I had split into 4 personalities whilst dealing with an abusive spouse. Somehow without the help of doctors I figured a way to piece myself back together again enough to pass as normal. But my extreme highs and lows became more frequent than monthly ascension/descent. And the crashes were bad. I'd be in bed almost life less for 3 days before normalizing. My ex would call me all sorts of names especially lazy. Then tell his friends how horrible I was and to keep an eye on me. He even had his friends 'befriend' me so he could get information out of me thru him. He gaslighted me every chance he could made life a living hell, that's when I developed self harming cus I couldn't hold my emotions in. I would how screaming bouts and punch walls, slam my head into a wall anything to leave this world. I tried different methods and each time ended up in hospital in psyche ward. I was labeled crazy by my ex and his military peers.
I experienced every form of abuse and neglect there is. Enough to want to be alone for the rest of my life.
Eventually I got out and away from him. With that chimpanzee off my back. I decided to get into holistic self healing. Soo i basically acted as my own doctor/shaman. I put myself thru vigorous meditations and went thru a 21 day Raw fruit and veggie diet to detox, used thc/cbd and psychedelic mushrooms to help me thru the real tough areas. Shifted my perception and grew stronger. I was determined to help myself cus I knew noone else would.
I have had to learn how to deal with so much in such a little time whilst exhibiting strong psychological and emotional disorders and empathy.... life is no picnic or walk in the park. Heheh. If I could share any positive words here, i would encourage anyone who is reading this, who is going thru and/or has gone thru so much turmoil in your life, change only begins with u. Noone knows u like u do. Not doctors. Not friends. Not family. Don't let anyone dictate who u r. Take constructive criticism from ppl who are concerned but ignore the criticism that tears u down. You have to be your own hero. You have to be your own savior. U have to trust in yourself because at the end of the day, You are all you have. Peace be with You All! May you find your light and let it shine, you are worth saving!
Thanks for sharing that.
I can absolutely SUPEr-relate to the empathy you describe. I have a problem regulating how much i "feel" other people and their pain/needs and so on. I even help snails pass over the road when i am walking there(lifting them and placing them in tha grass and so on),shit.
This was exactly the information I needed. Thank you so much.
I’m 41 and was diagnosed when I was young with ADHD. I’ve never had anyone help guide me toward helping me get better. It was never enough information and medication. So I’m now finally finding the help I need and understanding how to apply it properly.
I need to see the adult ADHD. Had rough childhood, got diagnosed as adult I'm still trying to figure which meds are best. I'm 32. My dad has ADHD, my mom does too but the attention part like me. It affects my whole life.. Every day.
Thank you so much for these videos. Your so right about self esteem and school wow..that was me.
This is me. I was a mess in school, didn’t get help. I went to 13 different schools and I think it compounded my situation. I thought I was stupid and tried to hide that I was stupid. I was bullied, rejected and got to to fights that I didn’t want. People think I’m really nice but there’s a lot of self hatred.
Amazing courage to share that You are stronger than you realize!❤
You are loved❤️
no need for self hatred.. I am self destructive as hell so i guess that i have that same problem deep down,, i am just not aware maybe..But as long as you are a kind person you don't have anything to feel ashamed of,, feeling less worthy, and so on,, if you are genuinely kind you are Perfect :D
If you are kind that really all that is needed to be GREAT.. Self-hatred in almost ALL cases is just the brain telling you stupid "Truths" adn trying to fool you into thinking that you are something else than yourself.- :3 :)
@@danielengsvang3126 I think I am generally kind. I really care about people. Thank you for your kind words. I just saw your other message above, so sweet. 😊
This video word for word describes all my struggles. Thanks so much.
This was the first video I've seen with Dr Judy Ho and I thoroughly enjoyed her exceptional input and insights that taught me a lot.
Thank you both - particularly for your question at 15:50 and Dr Ho, for your response to it.
This stigma is so destructive (and rampant within the Healthcare profession itself) so we really do appreciate any professional's input that may hopefully assist in dismantling it.
I look forward to more interviews with Dr. Ho.
Thank you again.
ADHD is in my family, and we all have different personalities and symptoms. It's built-in but environment and upbringing are a huge factor.
Yeah. ADHD differs from person to person.. There is like 12 different types or so.. But i myself has one type that i have never seen anywhere else, so it seems that it can be really unique also
I happen to have both. My psychiatrist was very surprised. I was diagnosed with "quiet" bpd and then only years later I got diagnosed with adhd. Let's just say a lot of things started making sense after this point.
Same!!!!
this stuff is so important you guys are helping so many people thank you thank you thank you !
This video is so helpful and illuminating for me.. thanks Medcircle!
These videos are so useful.. I am 38 and feel like I am finally becoming self-aware. So many things I thought were justified, normal and that other people don't get it - actually now I see it.. I think I have borderline traits for sure and these have affected my life in many ways.
this is garbage
I'd really like to hear about the differences between these two disorders, please. I really relate to ADHD and so much of my past and childhood and past makes sense now.
I've found many informative articles and links on the NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), there are often local NAMI classes and groups as well.
Thank you because I struggle with something, always have but never fit into a category. Psychiatrists diagnosed me with depression and anxiety when I was a teenager, but since then through further symptoms, have said I'm not all the way BPD or ADHD or OCD yet I am in such turmoil. Thank you for sharing.
I am in the progress to finding out but I feel like you are talking about my life! I would love to see more!! Thank you!!!!!!!!
As a person who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder I also recognize from my own childhood some of the symptoms of autism so I greatly appreciate this information and I am going to mention about my childhood activities as far as not being able to pay attention always pay more time with my special ed teacher and doing stuff at her classroom and just not being able to focus I’m gonna share with my therapist and there are more things but it would take too much to list them here right now also I have been diagnosed with bipolar to PTSD generalized anxiety disorder and then just recently completely diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder as well I know it’s a half a march podge of problems that sometimes it’s very hard to deal with so it’s a day-to-day struggle
hope you're enjoying the koolaid.
I'm in the overlap between ADHD and autism, as well as a variety of different physical challenges. What's odd, is I didn't have a lot of the things since childhood (other than having struggles with social aspects, situational mutism, and joint hypermobility), everything else either got worse, or started, in high school. It's very odd, and this is interesting. Thankfully GABA has been helping since my ADHD meds stopped helping, but it's odd how most of the traits you talked about here that I don't have, is stuff that my significant other struggles with. He just knows he has learning disability, and struggles with rejection. For me, dyslexia and ADHD run in my family, so I'm definitely neurodivergent in some way, but not sure exactly. I do know someone with BPD, and we've been having fun with fabric and sewing, which seems to help both of us.
This video was really helpful and interesting!
Thank you :)
genuinely thank you for this
I usually am quiet with my BPD but there are times when I lash out in an extreme way. To the point where I’ve quit jobs on the spot; been through a lot of jobs. This year has been the worst actually. I’ve lashed out angrily at my manager at work, kicked a hole in the wall at my laundromat because the machine ate my money, been rude to late bus drivers. I feel a little out of control with my emotions and I now am certain that I am the problem. I’ve always thought it was other people causing me to react but I am the only person responsible for my reactions. I’m sure I have adhd as well. I haven’t had stable relationships. I would break up constantly and then get back together. Every single relationship is like that. I go through valuing and devaluing my lovers and it makes me confused as to why I do what I do. It sucks but I’m trying to change. It super hard.
Its 3am, commenting with the hope someone likes so i remember to watch it later
Hey, come watch this video❤️
This is the perfect video for my sitiation!!!! I was diagnosed quiet BPD 4 years ago but I have WAYYY too many symptoms of adult ADHD as well….
Good and easy information. Also knowing that DBT therapy is the recommended treatment. Thank you.
My response to this was OMG...she just described and summed up my entire life! The shame, the fear, everything. The bad part is I just happen to be unfortunate enough to be in a family and life where there is a lot of dysfunctions and most people are shitty enough to stop talking to me and write me off forever! To me, the fear is real and not imagined. Just a matter of time.
I'm sorry to hear that...
I used to have the more standard borderline when I was going through puberty (14-19) and that was back before borderline was really known. I got beat down so much from people telling me I'm whiny, depressing, too emotional, crazy, annoying ect. That I just stopped lashing out and just started blaming myself because everyone made me feel like something was so wrong with me that they didnt wanna be around me. So I stopped talking about anything, said I was fine all the time, and now it's only obvious during a situation in which I feel disappointed and/or rejected/abandoned
I get so explosive and have no control over myself or completely panic and do stupid shit
I don't know if i have borderline tendencies but i can SURE relate to the Explosivity and not having control and doing stupid shit. I never panic though. i can just get really angry if someone close is fucking up my brain. then i just destroys stuff, like IKEA stuff, then i get angry at myself for NOT being in control and i feeling bad because i ruined stuff and then i just REALLY REALLY REALLY destroys/ruins stuff that i later hate myself for... Was a LONG time ago since i got physical but damn it is strange and scary. i have never hurt people or any living thing in my life, But furniture. Cheers from Sweden :)
Gona come back tk this another day. Talking about relationships growing up and becoming more self aware in older age really hit hard
Soooo good!!!!!! Sooo true. My Mother and I BOD. Me quiet. It really is on the inside and often I feel like I know how I should be acting and so I do but until I learned my true soul retrieval often it was just acting . So I was “ like” living. And since we don’t have heartfelt relationships in this society, who knew. I am also a very honest and caring person so I used that for others but was not helping me internally. We relate to our children internally and I am going to say how proud I am of my psychologist daughter. She can’t help but open my heart!
Had 12 years of BPD therapy after unaliving atemptS (plural), it left me confused and feeling uniquely unhelpable. FINALLY an autism assessment was suggested and I didn’t know much about it but turns out I was ASD level 2 and ADHD inattentive.
I was even out of place in the world of MH, I could not wrap my head around the concepts being discussed and genuinely perplexed as to why my MH peers were so upset all the time lol. But I felt even more hopeless because what do you do if the help isn’t helping and so I’d attempt unaliving again (which since I cannot even do grocery shopping effectively, I was unsurprisingly not very successful 😂) which led to a cycle reinforcing the diagnosis and more baffling treatment regimes. Professionals told me I wasn’t working hard enough and told me I was intentionally screwing it up in order to avoid abandonment from the clinician when in fact I had no strong feelings on the prospect either way.
I really think you should maybe make videos on how mental health disorders affect physical health. I personally have been vomiting daily for 2 years and my doctors say it's most likely stress.
That’s crazy
this the question i’ve been asking myself everyday omgggg
FINALLY I have a term for my form of BPD! I feel so validated.
Friendly note that “quiet BPD” is often actually ASD. Not even most psychologists are familiar with the full breadth of presentations of ASD. Many autistic women are diagnosed with BPD and/or bipolar before being diagnosed with ASD. ADHD is a common misdiagnosis or codiagnosis for autistics as well.
Thank you. came here to say this. BPD is way overdiagnosed in AFAB people. Much more research needs to be done on Autism so this pathologising doesn't continue to happen so often.
I've trouble studying and sometimes understanding things.
Specially maths.
My head hurts alot when trying to understand difficult things
But i was very good at studies till 8th standard.
I don't know what happened.
I've trouble calculating alot.
I can't form a picture of things in my mind while studying such topics and that makes it hard to understand.
My brain is always confused.
I can't even seem to keep a belief for more than a day.
Sometimes i feel like i have this issue and next day I'll be like i never had it.
Do you understand anything about it??
I'm quiet borderline.
This happened to a friend of mine. She was believed to have BPD, and after waiting over 2 years here in the UK to be placed on a course of group therapy for it, then completing a year of that...the therapist running the course said she felt my friend was Autistic instead! She did then have to of course wait further time to be assessed for that, and indeed was found to be on the Spectrum. She's much happier now though, as everything they discussed with her makes more sense of the way that she is, and what she does/feels. XxX
Sometimes I think I have all 4 lol. But only diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar 2.
you can also have both. A lot of symptoms overlap, but not all. I'm no doctor but early onset trauma can make a big difference.
At a certain point, it doesn’t matter which or any condition that you have. Stop trying to categorize everyone so much. The definitions of each condition is changing all the time, so at a certain point a diagnosis is harmful because you shoe horn someone into ADHD or BPD. You can restrict a patient to certain treatments that aren’t appropriate. To anyone with ADHD/BPD, yes, absolutely still go get help. But don’t be afraid if your symptoms don’t exactly fit the DSM
Very interesting!
I have been diagnosed with BPD and looked for suitable therapy. After years of therapy I barely struggeled with a lot of BPD symptoms anymore, altought the impulsive behavior, substance abuse, boredom, and some of the moodswings due to overstimulation still stayed.
Since a year I have also been diagnosed with adhd. Turns out thats why a part of the symptoms of BPD stayed after all those years of therapy. It makes so much sense to see the connections between ADHD and BPD. I Always was an outcast and being bullied (probably because of ADHD "weirdness") and it really shaped my identity to the point where I developed BPD.
Thank you for the clear video, I think its helping a lot of people to understand themself or their loved ones who struggle
I was diagnosed with adhd when I was a kid but never got treatment for it.
I recently also received my BPD diagnosis and my therapist agrees that it’s “Quiet BPD” although that’s not a formal diagnosis I’m the DSM-V. I’m glad this video exists because everything kinda makes sense.
Not everything is a personality disorder, there are quite a few undiagnosed adult autistics walking around that present as problematic to the neurologically normal - especially therapists. In the US, therapists have nearly no idea how high functioning autistics present or why autism characteristics cause severe problems for those that have it. I would go even further and point out that therapists do autistics no favor when they use DBT to teach them to try and mask harder and better.
I understand your funding comes from a group that is financially vested in personality disorders, but you could do yourself and your viewers a big favor by becoming more literate about autism and how it is Not a disordered personality and the symptoms can’t be fixed, but it can be understood and coped with. Knowledge about adult autism is a HUGE gap amongst the American therapeutic community, there’s no reason for them or their patients to have to bang their heads on a wall that cannot yield. The Brits and the Aussies both have functioning health care communities to assist autistic adults, take a look and start learning from them.
This was my partner, to many accident to count( big life threatening). No one would listen. Stratera helped the ADHD and OCD but could. Not afford it long term. Every one thought it was dementia, but scans were not really show this at 76 only mild cognitive decline. She ended her life. She had poor interpersonal relation. Thanks for this, she is gone. Closure after 24 years.
I have clearly suffered with BPD as a teen yet it took until this summer to give me a diagnosis. I’m 52!
I think I have quiet borderline personality disorder but then I thought I was super empath empath I don't even know. I have been diagnosed with BPD as an adult, but I do TRANSPOSE my letters & numbers sometimes. I believe I had ADHD when I was a kid, but UNDIAGNOSED. There wasn't a lot emphasis on MENTAL HEALTH back then. Back in the 70's. Thank you your information was extremely helpful!
i need this nowwww 🥺
People tend to mistake "BPD" as meaning Narcissistic BPD. They are not the same, but when someone experiences TRAUMA and has ADHD, they may present as if they are narcissistic. Mainly in appearing as if the are self absorbed. Because when we are traumatized we tend to remunerate about how we feel after trauma. One would expect most therapist to be aware of this. I am overly empathetic. I mean I cry during movies and reach out to stranger I feel are in pain. But I had a therapist who actually noted I might be Narcissistic. I was horrified at the thought. Which then caused me to seek confirmation with my new therapists and I was required that if I had been, I wouldn't have even considered it.
Daym, I really *UNDERSTOOD* this
Misdiagnosed as Quiet Borderline and Bipolar 2…. For most my life… they were both wrong. I was always Autistic and missed because of trauma, being misunderstood, and with a higher IQ . Girls and women get misdiagnosed most the time. Took until last year at 36 to get proper help. Many wasted years of being blamed for not getting better. I was never meant to… the damage put a hold on my life that is just now starting to have some softness for.
I have ptsd and adhd. My ptsd was mostly resolved a couple decades ago. But, my challenges with focusing on boring things like movies and shows that require sitting still and not being actively, physically engaged, and my need to be actively moving all day and night (even in bed before sleeping) still remain. I became a dancer to fulfill my need for creative movement. And I still have sensory processing disorder and auditory processing disorder (I was a premature twin with birth distress, and we both have very clear adhd). I was also born with physical defects. And the trauma was caused by extreme childhood trauma. I actually have secure attachment because I had positive relationships as an adult, from my earliest adulthood. I don't even understand how this quiet bpd thing relates to the actual adhd issues of focusing on boring mental content, and the constant high activity levels that also cause the issues with executive dysfunction. People with adhd can have unique social issues, but we are also generally social butterflies that connect with a lot of people.
I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD twice in my life, once at 8ish and once at 14ish. I never took my meds, so I struggled my whole life with pretty much everything, and my parents didn’t really seem to care, they just got annoyed and angry with me that I wasn’t better at things. Now I’m 31 and have been on adderall for a few years, but honestly I don’t feel like it’s helping me much. I have meltdowns daily because I just feel “stupid”. I get very sad, clingy, I people-please to the point where I put myself out daily, and I also get very angry with seemingly insignificant triggers. I’ve even been wondering if I might be on the spectrum. BPD is the closest diagnosis to what I feel on the daily, but I’m not impulsive at all. Can anyone else relate here?
I took adderall for about a week, it fucked with my nuts and brain. I'd get off them if I were you. I sought treatment for borderline but as I wasn't entirely unpleasant they said I couldn't have it... Instead they happily convinced me of adhd and asd. I'm now convinced more than ever of bpd and possibly ocpd. My parents were the same, as well as emotionally neglectful most of the time they weren't downright irritated/angry with me as a small child. Try the basics: sleep more, exercise, proper nutrition and cold showers. It helps. Also, if you haven't already, try distancing yourself from your parents/situations that remind you of stuff that bother you.
What’s the difference between quiet bpd and someone who suffers from depression and cptsd from childhood traumas? Or is there a difference
They're the same....mainstream psychology still doesn't get it. I think the stigma of BPD would be lessened if it was labeled CPTSD
@@cl8759 they’re significantly different. BPD lacks the PTSD symptoms involved in CPTSD. BPD is also categorized by fear of abandonment, black and white thinking, paranoia, and intense anger which COULD show up in CPTSD but not always. Depression, on the other hand, affects sleep and eating patterns, motivation levels, and self esteem.
@Crustyprawn 157 ADHD symptoms show up in other areas, not just school.
@Crustyprawn 157 ummm Im sorry you are very wrong about ADD 🤦🏼♀️ It is NOT bc you're bored in classroom it's being neurologically wired differently. It's executive functioning issues. You can't actively listen and follow along. People need to stop saying it's boredom 🤦🏼♀️
I was diagnosed with ADD in grade 2 and I didn't have depression or anxiety then. My teacher said I was a "daydreamer" and I spent a lot of time working in a special room without my classmates.
I was diagnosed again in college.
Today I feel like my ADD is more impactful than ever and im 41 years old. I was also diagnosed with a-typical depression 5 years ago.
What I notice the most is my constant need for new stimuli and a very poor working memory. I'm also constantly multitasking (like watching a movie while on my phone while eating while vaping with 3 different drinks in front of me)
I have no issues relating to people, in fact I feel like I understand my friends better than they understand themselves.
Sometimes this makes me enjoy people less though because it's like I feel they should be more self aware, which isn't fair because being self aware (and for me highly self critical) is not something everyone is good at. I also believe this is a big part of why I deal with depression.