Optional Steps Before Coming Out as Transgender MTF
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- Опубліковано 5 сер 2014
- You may not be out yet, or ready to begin your transition, but this does not mean that there are not things you can't do to get started, become more comfortable and more confident. This video covers a number of options to accomplish this. (This video is for transwomen, not transmen to view the transman options click this link • 10 Optional Steps Befo... .) Please share this with anyone who just came out & needs a boost of motivation.
Sit when you pee and wearing womens underwear really helped me deal with dysphoria early on. Buy the underwear online if you're uncomfortable going into a store. But if you are fine going into a store, don't worry about reactions. I bought panties at a target well before I was "passing", and I had prepared a story that if asked I would say that I was picking them up for my wife. Chances are, they don't know you and don't care what you're buying.
The
first step in the right direction, you have to start working with
yourself to achieve your goals, you are a woman and will remain the
woman you have always been.he only thing you need is a little help on the way to beat your femininity.
I shoulda done when I actually did buy a bra for my wife.. I actually used buying my wifes bra as a way to go for it, and try later for me.. the guy did seem a little shaky and I'm shy, but he didn't ask..OR I do wish we had some self checkout where I am NOW..
AylaZeroFire, I did the same thing, still do. the cashiers don't care , you pay, you leave.
We can be happy that in our time we can order online for a start. I still do when it comes to underwear and lingerie. Slowly I am feminizing my wardrobe and I already bought some pieces in stores (shoes, jeans, jacket). Wearing women's clothes encourages me to move and gesture as feminine as I am in public. It simply makes me more confident. Already just a slip and stockings underneath are helpful. I guess and hope that one day soon walking in a store wearing feminine clothes I bought online will allow me to buy anything without blushing (oh well, I could cover that with makeup 😉).
Do the underwear(we call them knickers) fit though? I ask because hip and waist on a man and a trans woman is different to a cis-woman, aren't they? Don't you find them baggy at the hips or snug at the hips but loose at the waist?
I'm 34 just started hormones with a doctor, I overlooked the fragrance aspect, I'll definitely go and buy a perfume now ^^ how did I miss that.
It's many little mosaic pieces that form the complete beautiful picture.
I decided to use perfume, and paint my nails independently from my transition. And now I’m working on my voice and clothing. The trans friends is a little hard given my area but I do have online friends that helped me realize I was trans. So I feel ahead of where I expected to be already.
To everyone else i hope you enjoy the life you deserve. You’re all beautiful women.
This is the most trans positive video I have ever seen. I think shes fantastic
Steven Katz you got to listen to All 3 videos they're all super awesome
I hear ya..!
moron
David Mark Dannov You don’t have to speak in the third person
Yeah I agree
Lol i love this lady, at first when i watched her video knowing if your transgender i felt bad cause everything in the video was true and in this one i did all of those and that is before i knew those were the things transgender did, now shes just reading me like a book and shes cool and calm with it i like that im glad i know for sure i am trans i know im not wasting my time or peoples time but thinking i am, ive gone through so many problems including being negative myself omg soo so so negative and suicidal and depressed and over think things to the point i can't breath and scared to do it due to fear,and now i know its normal i wasnt the only one who made things hard, now i dress like a girl here and there away from family but my friends evem told me that i glow and i look so much happier in my pics as a girl than a guy, and it hit me hard cause i didnt even know i was just going along with the day is all and to hear that from multiple people just amazing really, lol im marathon-ing these videos she keeps me interested not much host can do that lol
Well she's studying to be a psychologist or whatever it is she's going to be great
I was a little creeped out tbh
Same here - with the exception of being suicidal thankfully.
I know the shame and embarrassment too, good 😊 your getting out with friends and glad you can find happiness 🌹
I'm a man who should be born a woman since I was born I love putting on G straight pants and Lingerie and mine skirt and pantyhose and dresses and G straight pants and pantyhose and my Girlfriend is going to Dress me up as a Crossdresser and I'm going to ❤ Dresses up as a Crossdresser
I feel like I've been followed, she literally described what I've been doing except the last part.
I really want to come out but I'm too shy with social anxiety
Maxie :p trust me its a struggle but when i eventually came out it gave me a exzilerating feeling
Same omg
Yeah
Hi I am autistic so know about anxiety find somebody you trust and come out to them
You might be autistic. You might be both autistic and trans. Go talk to your GP and asked to be referred to a professional who is an expert in autism. I only just started that process. Still waiting for the referral appointment to come though the post but there is bound to be a long waiting list at the moment due to the current crisis. Up until 5 years ago I assumed I was just stupid and slow. It has taken me 5 years to go from thinking could I be autistic to actually going and doing something about it even if it is just to put my mind at rest.
I first listened to this video back in June of 2016 before I saw my first endocrinologist who started me right away on estradiol. He looked inside of me and seemed to feel the pain which I had been denying for all of these years! I started to cry as I am sort of doing now as I am thinking about it!
Indeed, I love this woman! If only I started HRT 30 or more years ago or were born female to begin with. Alas! This was not to be and having been born in 1947 there was little understanding, if any of trans persons! In psychiatric institutions such as in L'Hôpital Psychiatrique De Malévoz my 2 presiding psychologists insisted that I dress as a man which obviously did not suit me! It only took me a matter of days to feel dramatically better, not months after I started HRT in 2016 for transsexual women and as I write this on You Tube it has been a little more than a year on this feminizing regimen and I feel better and better all of the time!
she is right about the "mentally and emotionally healthy"part. i knew a few transwomen who made everything out to be awful and terrifying and it did not seem that transition removed dysphoria and anger from their lives as much as just shifted its nature... :(
I took time to learn who I was first. I'm 27 now and starting my transition. I agree it takes time to really build an understanding of yourself before one should take such extreme measures like HRT or surgery. I was managing for a while with just undercloths and a little more here and there. After combat and ptsd it make my symptoms much worse. Granted I took time to deal with my demons from combat before I took on this one. I think its important to be able to articulate yourself. It shows an understanding and with that understanding I have no regrets or social anxiety. Sure I'm cautious but im obly moving forward. Standing still nakes nothing happen, it just lets things happen around you.
@@mattiOTX 6 plyrich, learning about everything is the key, I know surgery and other things by heart now.
I agree, I am trans and I have embraced that wonderful aspect of my life. It took the love of a wonderful man to bring me where I am today, I owe everything to him.
I think that plucking your eyebrows can be another good way to test the waters, so to speak. Eyebrows are *so* important at expressing gender cues, yet it's not something that would be noticed as out of the ordinary (unless done excessively, lole) while being out in public.
Personally, spending that time grooming in front of the mirror has become like a treasured ritual in my day to day life, when I get to experience something I find truly feminine.
I love this, I do most of this already and it helps me deal with my Dysphoria. I use womens roll on deodorant, a small amount of perfume, beyonce Heat, Daily, just a small amount.
The biggest change is I only own womens underwear and womens jeans and tee shirts now, my partner knows but doesn't accept it. I also keep my body waxed, this and painted nails feels amazing, the best part is knowing you wear and do all this but no-one else notices. It gives a little thrill to me daily. I feel all these little things help me feel more comfortable in my own skin.
this is a very wise and insightful video. and i think consistent with the advice and support on this channel. much youtube gender-related content is 'sensational'. these videos are reality.
even if you are already doing many of the things, just to hear someone (with serious academic and professional experience of transition issues) say these are commonly recognised/valued positive steps will serve you to confirm that you are doing something right. you making positive forward progress along a path others have succeeded by following. even if you are already doing all of these things, you can still take that as insecurity is a huge counterpressure to progress and confidence that constantly needs to be checked and overcome.
you may say 'but these are just little things, not the big thing' but the big thing is a pent-up force inside yourself with the power of a tiger, that might overwhelm you (even destroy you) if you confront it or try to embrace it before a working/positive relationship between you has been established. you have to work towards each other, inch by inch, and make peace, understand and grow comfortable with with your tiger. this process takes time and patience and courage. but given these, you and your tiger may become your greatest ally and best friend, and you may find your peace at last.
so as with any wild animal, first you just get used to each others presence, then you move around each other, then maybe contact, then progressive degrees of bonding. carefully, respectfully, and with care and compassion.
there are parts of ourselves we can be afraid of, and hide from our whole lives. you can only confront these successfully by degrees. all the suggestions in the video above are degrees.
I have watched this 10 times and I love it more every time. Thank you so much Alexis for making this. I wish I could listen to it another 100xs
I did pretty much all of this. It really does help a lot. Feels nice, and makes me know I definitely want to keep going forward.
Thank you for the information, I'm super stoked that there are actually channels with great ideas for my upcoming transition. Have a groove day!
I'm binge watching a lot of your videos. They are very helpful. Thank you!
That was extremely helpful as all your videos are. Cannot thank you enough you are a special person for making them. And helping me and people like me!!
I have actually done all of these! I feel much better.
WOW! I am amazed. I am not out but I have been doing some things for a number of years to help with my dysphoria. Interestingly, I think it is the first four or five things on your list I have been doing. I started doing these things as a way to help me feel better without coming out and it seems to help me a lot. Good advice as far as I am concerned. I am gradually becoming more and more comfortable with what I am to the point that I now even wear acrylic nails.
Thank you from a new subscriber, You are so right with everything in this video, each small thing can add up to feeling wonderful.
Thank you so much for this! There's stuff on that list that I had thought of already (or started doing without thinking ^-^), but there's a lot more I hadn't thought of. I *can* paint my nails (even the fingernails, i've done it when I wasn't afraid of outing myself and all it did is make my parents think I was gay), I *want* to get laser hair removal, and start voice training, and so much more. Not going to DIY my HRT unless i hit a major snag though, I want competent medical supervision if possible. Also, NEW NAME ACHIEVED! at least until I change my mind haha.
Sorry in a drastic mood swing I love the videos they have literally saved me money will come once I’m able my health both mental and physical has rapidly decreased in the last 5 yrs or so love you keep sharing and once I regain control with the help I’m finally getting
Very good suggestions and I've done them all over the last 18 months. So, I agree with everything you've said. Everyone who sees this video....give these suggestions a try. You will be surprised how much they help and move you forward toward a possible transition.
Thank you so much for your helpful advice and your compassionate approach. I laughed upon realizing how many of your suggestions I had already figured out on my own. I wish I had followed my instincts and begun my transition decades ago
HOW DO YOU KEEP POPPING UP WITH THE RIGHT VIDEOS AT THE RIGHT TIME THANK YOUUUUUUU
I really enjoyed watching this video, and thought it contained some great advice for gender questioning MtF people, such as myself. I have already tried some of them, and they have brought me immense comfort. Thank you so much xxx
You are super smart you know everything I'm going through every single one thank you so much for your videos
A lot of great practical advice, stuff that I wouldn't have thought of like painting my toenails and covering my feet with shoes. That way, I can give being a woman a trial run without causing myself embarrassment. I like what she said in another video. If you're asking "Am I transgender?" then you're most likely transgender. Cisgender people do not ask that question. I should definitely see a gender therapist. I'm almost certain that I'm bigender but sometimes I think I'm MTF. The thought of having a female body always appeals to me tremendously. Sometimes, I'm happy with the male body that I have but I'm often very frustrated with it. I watch MTF before and after videos with great envy. I dream about how happy I'd be if I transitioned. My craving for a female body is very powerful. Watching FTM before and after videos is like watching a car crash in slow motion. I know that a person with a male gender in a female body is not going to be happy and should transition. However, throwing away a perfectly good female body seems tragic to me.
You just described it perfectly
I felt exactly the same and before, i felt alone in these feelings dwelling on them and generally just going over them again and again thinking they must be wrong but I feel better now
Bill93848, your way is normal , try to learn .
I felt everything you just said -- I too feel like I'm bigender and experience cycles of "definitely transgender" and "definitely NOT transgender." I don't know what the answer is.
Ll
On top of these videos being so Helpful and True of who I am and what I need, I really enjoy listening to her voice! It’s so Pretty and Sweet and Soothing!
I Love your videos and advice, after watching 2 of your videos , they have made me feel better and more confident about transitioning
I'm already doing some of this, but there are a few things that I don't do that I will now!
Another very important but subtle step that you can make before coming out, is losing weight. Most guys tend to be heavier with more muscle,so losing weight to get your body smaller before starting hormones is a good idea.
Thank you so much. I needed to see this. It has helped me more than you know.
Thank you
I have watched literally dozens of these videoes and I have to say this is the best so far. This video is professional and very comforting and encouraging . As far as the perfume suggestion, yes, yes ,yes, perfume can be one of the most unseen but erotic things you can do, take your time and pick one you really connect with, one that makes you feel special, and as far as being self conscience I was only questioned once and the girl answered her own query by saying OMG! Your girl friend marks you just like I do to my guy! He can't get close to a girl that does not know he is taken. More guys buy perfume for their girls than girls do for themselves! The confident males do not hesitate to buy perfume bras, panties etc for their girls or???
I am so happy I went through with coming out and working with Alexis,
she is kind, supportive and understanding as well as knowledgeable. I
highly recommend her.
Thanks, Alexis. Good suggestions. I'm already doing most of them, and yes, they do help.
I have found all of the information in this series to be very interesting, thank you !
one of the best videos, i hope the channel will blow up
very good advice .love your segments and suggestions
I'm 35 and start to fully accept and I try to get started. It helped. Thx . I subscribed
I am doing 4 of the items already. Growing my hair out, buying panties which I love, sitting to pee and painting my toenails. I want to do others on this list thank you. You hit the nail on the head for me.
i think that your videos are just great, and also encouraging. Thank you so much. I'm in my 60s. Finding myself at last does feel good. Hope to start hormones next month.
Wow, hope you have gotten on well. Your late courage is spurring. Wish you all the best.
These videos are very helpful, wish you would make more! there's not very many people or videos dealing with these very nuanced but common feelings
I feel way better about myself. This is great and very informative .
I 👏 needed 👏 this 👏 tysm 👏 for 👏 making 👏 it
I needed this video, thank you! I have to say you so right on.💕
Thank you for the very helpful videos! I've already been doing a lot of your suggestions before I started looking online for help and advice. I plan to see a therapist after I have thyroid surgery in December. I even wrote a long letter to my mom about myself before my surgery, which I hope to personally give to her in the very near future. It was very therapedic writing it, and I just hope she understands. It may help a lot of people in this situation to write a letter like I did. It helped me did deep and get my thoughts out. It was much easier for me to write it than try to say so much all at one time.
Oops! Dig deep, not did deep!!!!
I should download this and listen to it on my iPod tbh, she's so positive.
Hello Alexis,This video sounds is Wonderful!...only because I've already been doing many of these ideas. They are great ideas and give one a comfort zone in moving forward. I've done the list - less laser hair removal and have signed up this fall (too much sun right now). I can't wait to get started working with you.Cheers,EVintherain
I love this video you are talking to me where Im at right now. So reassuring thankyou
You have helped me to come out I can’t thank you enough
I really admire this entire approach. This is marketing, plain and simple - and marketing must be done. Student loans are a fortune, and one does not simply hang up a shingle and the dollars come rolling in. Competition is heavy. But this is marketing done with class and integrity. These videos actually have value, and they are free. The approach is to pay it forward - give first, then think about receiving. Further, this is an extremely proactive person who gets off her butt, gets out there and makes things happen in a consistent and persistent way, and does so with a lot of class and creativity. If you're going to work with a therapist, this is the kind of person you want to be working with. Do I know her personally? Absolutely not. I just now watched 3 of her videos; that was my first exposure to her and here I am. I'm speaking from experience: the person who will go the extra hundred miles to help themselves is the first one who will help you.
Wow, stunningly great video, thanks!
I dont have that much facial hair but I did take a tweaser to my chin. It has made it easier to keep my face clean. I do need to pick up some perfume and make up. Been wearing ladies cloths for a few months now. I sit to pee. Its just the little things that do help but I still need to keep going. Luckily. I have a good group of friends that support my transition, now its time to talk to my family.
Thank you so much!
This is a very helpful video. Fortunately I have been doing most of the steps already but very much worth a viewing.
hey girl another Dawson here!
Thank you so much. I'm already doing a lot of these steps. Its frightening but exciting.
In your video am I trans mtf trans, when you were talking about wanting other women's clothing, i was wishing i had your jacket. it is lovely. Thank you for your videos.
thank you sooooooo much for making these very informative videos. Wish I would have known you 30 years ago, before I started and stopped my transition numerous times, and now I am in my mid 50's almost tooo late to start over again.....but as of last year I have been on blockers and estrogen, thinned my eyebrows, and shave my entire body every day.
Please keep up the great work you are doing, listening to you put a smile on my face and made me want to take another step to achieve my goal.
God Bless you
xoxo
Stacy
I neeed this today. Bad day. Thanks
Very well thought suggestions
I find these videos very helpful. It's amazing how I do some of these things before knowing thats what transgender people do... Hopefully, this helps me to gain enough courage to tell my parents... (I'm 13)
Fantasy Gaming
This is SO amazingly reassuring
I love this it is giving me more confidence to be the real me ❤️
Super-solid advice!
Very helpful! Thanks 😊
thank you so much
you made me cry happy tears
You are amazing, thank you for your videos
Love this thanks, i pierced my ears, and shave legs, these little things do help.
I have just talked to a specialist doctor and before she can prescribe hrt and blockers i need a psych assessment, I have to wait for them to contact me. For every step i take forward to begin i feel i have to wade through deep mud. I realize my dysphoria gets worst the longer i wait for hrt. Your videos are a welcome relief
Got my toes painted. Great suggestion! Looking into undies, purse/bag next
Wow, those tips are really simple and sudtle,
Very good advice here.
I was amazed in that I was already doing most of these before meeting Alexis.
Fab to find a truthful and honest insight..Hope you pay your loan off soon.x
Your voice is very soft and calming
I'm jealous
I did the purse one today. what a rush!
Thank you so much for helping me confirm that I'm transgender this video has helped me out a lot
Very good Advice enjoyed the video
This is a very helpful video, though I do most of these already. You should make a video that gives advice on coming out to potentially negative family members, that would also be extremely helpful.
Replace "family" with environment, neighbours, colleagues, clients, society...😟
Replace "family" with environment such as neighbours, colleagues, society... 😟
More videos please! ^^ I'm a transwoman and your videos have been SO helpful to me!
Milena more videos will be coming soon, what topics would you like Alexis to cover?
@@TheTransitionChannel Hey, thanks for the reply! Can't wait for more content, you have way too few videos when your videos are all so amazing and pure quality! :) I have a great question that's probably all trans people will find to be of great help for them, it surely would help me tremendously because I have this problem very much and it's making me coming out to society much more hard. The question is:
"How to handle negative comments, looks and treatments from people as a transwoman/transgender? And how handle the FEAR and WORRY for future negative comments, looks and treatments that's coming? In other words - the fear of future negative comments, looks and treatments."
I hope the question makes sense, if not then let me know and I'll try to explain more. And you can of course rephrase it in a better way - English is not my first language. Thank you so much for this opportunity to give you a question that you might make a video of :) I'd love to hear Alexia telling her professional advice on this issue. She's amazing and so inspiring and motivating! It would be of great help to probably all trans people struggling to come out.
Have a great day! :)
Best regards,
Milena
Awesome! I wear a fanny pack.. I put chapsticks and lips softeners (silky lips) in there.. I FEEL like its a purse espescially when I pull out my lip softeners.. I do many of the things you say.. I really really could have used this in 2007, but this came early in my most BRAVE transition (now),, and will help..
Wish I had seen this video a long time ago. I've been having to figure some of this out myself.
your Videos are Amazing theyre totally helped me and i think the last 3 Videos Made clear that im trans
thank you for this video help me alot
Would be highly appreciate if this video has a female to male version. It would save a life. Thank you.
I'm getting older and more and more lonly simply because I'm too ashamed to move forward so I hide, 166 hrs in a week and I spend close to around 150 of them in isolation being myself, it's bitter sweet, I love being myself but can't seem to find the way to just go out, I've reached out to several doctors to start hrt and my lack of insurance halts me, my local lgbtq support group brushed me off so Im being made to feel like I'm wrong but since I was 5 yrs old this has been part of my life and factually to me the best part alot but the biggest hidden part. I can't undo this masculinity and people don't take me seriously.. I'm just getting to the point where I'm to tired to keep on and nothing or no one seems to acknowledge my existence, doomed, dafni had the right idea, maybe it's my time to stop all this alone and go be with those ahead of us, wish me luck!!!!!
great advice.
Doing these is the right thing to do. I always knew I was female
I did a study on "Telling" for a social work class. You are welcome to that if you wish.
Alexis is phenomenal! Teri
Great advice
I've been doing these things with no idea (except wearing women's underwear and growing hair) lol
I spent about 10 years repressing my need to transition, and I can say about half of these things I was doing to cope and live relatively normally.
Thank you for all the brilliant information. Im in South Africa and would benefit greatly from online consults with you.
by listening to you I have for awhile been doing everything you talk about. painted toenails wearing panties, squatting to pee and wearing female perfume. thank you!
Thank u😇
In crying, in so happy knowing that there are people who care
I do too, sis. Wish we all could come together to live openly. Guess we'd be enough to occupy a whole country haha. So where? 🤗
I also wear a little make up, Nothing outlandish
, a little light mascara, some matt lippy, and some light face powder. No one appears to notice or they are too polite to mention. And i now paint my finger nails bright blue today.