I got my ADHD diagnosis today. The psychologist recommended your channel. I had already found your channel.... but the fact that psychologists are literally recommending your channel is freaking amazing. Congratulations!
I've gone through 4 different therapists who specialized in CBT and it honestly just made me more frustrated and stressed. My ADHD just feels cold and lonesome. I'm always told that I'm one of the nicest people they've met, but I don't often think that's true. I hate being confrontational, but there are flares when someone tries to be bullheaded. I'm afraid of being alone, and I constantly feel I'm getting further and further away from people unintentionally.
Another commenter mentioned ACT therapy, maybe that might be a better fit? I wish I had more advice to give. If it helps, I really relate to what you've said and I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate it myself.
Why do you think CBT doesn't work for you? If you're caught in a compensation loop of "being too nice to a point where you feel you're false and your relationships are with a mask rather than you" and "getting to worked up without saying anything until a point you'll just explode into being confrontational" then maybe you should try DBT and assertive dialogue to set your limits firmly but respectfully. I hope you find a good therapy!
Definitely have benefited from cbt. It’s like, the way it’s described almost sounds like we’re saying “just think differently and everything will get better” but really it’s like “bad things happen that are overwhelming, changing how we think and behave make those things easier to handle”
That's so true! And the way I've worked with CBT, it also allowed me to be curious and ask myself: "OK, my reaction to this event doesn't seem to help me, but I can't change it - why?". For example, if I'm not letting go of anger, even if forgiveness would bring me peace, it might be because my brain really believes we have to feel anger to protect ourselves from further harm, humiliation, etc. So a good therapist will not gaslight you AND will teach you more about why we feel the way it feel. It ended up making me feel thankful for "bad" emotions, even, now that I understand them better. This is just an example, but CBT + my therapist really opened a new world for me. I find it fascinating!
For what it's worth, CBT can feel super invalidating and actually make things worse for people with trauma, so if you have ADHD + Trauma (and a LOT of us do), then look into DBT, which focuses more on your reactions to emotions and regulating through triggers instead of just trying to prevent them
@Nicholas Millington Could you please link those references? I'm especially interested in knowing more about the negative correlation between effectiveness and understanding! Thanks!
I think DBT then CBT is best-that’s what I’ve done and it’s been great. I was diagnosed with ADHD 1 year ago this month AND I’m pretty sure I discovered it because I hit a breaking point with family trauma & anxiety about 2 years ago. I started out with DBT (which is a type of CBT!) to address my trauma and anxiety, and I think that was the right way to go. But, after, I was really struggling with ADHD-like procrastination, perfectionism, organization, and a bit of distraction and impulsivity and even though meds help with my motivation, CBT is what has helped with that stuff the most and made me feel in control of my ADHD. I’m very grateful I did DBT first to work through my trauma and anxiety and learn how to regulate my emotions-and that out me in a much better position to problem solve my ADHD-I think it’s wrong to say CBT is bad for ADHDers with trauma, but maybe it’s difficult / not enough if you have a lot of unprocessed trauma, but that’s a true for a lot of things. I don’t think ADHD-skills CBT is meant for trauma and we should assume that any “therapy” is meant for trauma.
Thanks so much for posting this (and the likers for making it top comment)! I happen to be someone struggling with trauma therapy. What's the D stand for in this case?
CBT therapist here and trainee psychologist. I have ADHD and my best advice to anyone interested in therapy is to make sure you find a therapist who has specialist experience and training to work with people who have ADHD. Bog standard CBT might be a struggle for some with ADHD. Especially if you're someone who struggles with the concept of homework, diaries etc...
I tried standard CBT as an ADHD person, and I completely agree. It left me even worse than nothing because of the shame associated with not being able to do homework.
@@Serena-or7sl sorry to hear that. It's far too common. It's the therapist to blame not you though. Any therapist regardless of what model they use in therapy should be able to be flexible enough to fit around the client rather than have the client fit into the therapy model.
Do have any recommendations on how to find what therapists available to my area have the appropriate experience for ADHD patients? I’ve been thinking for a while that it might be a good thing to try, and I think my dad was only pushing for the idea a year or two back when he got a better look at how I “handle” school (usually my mom was always the one who was involved). I’ve never really done anything in regards to therapy because I wasn’t sure which kind to get or how to find a good therapist.
I had this issue with CBT first time round and it honestly really made me disengage. i was lucky enough that second time my assigned therapist was much more sympathetic and adaptive with this. the right therapist really can make a difference
The feedback loop @4:48 is the most difficult part to get out of with my ADHD. It has taken lots of brain self-training to instead step back and think about my reaction and thoughts and not react out my first thoughts, later leading to the negative regretful feelings. To those reading this, it is possible and like every other habit takes step at a time. This includes great bounds forward along with stumbles and steps back. Best of luck!
Get 40% off Blinkist premium, only valid until February! Enjoy 2 memberships for the price of 1. Start your 7-day free trial by clicking here: www.blinkist.com/howtoadhd Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, since apparently I need to specify 🤣 UPDATE: Ok I changed it in the title too. Sorry to disappoint anyone who expected this to be about marijuana or uh. Adult stuff 😂 If anyone's looking for a CBT therapist in the US, this can be a good place to look (you can search by insurance too!) www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists -- LOOK FOR SOMEONE WHO SPECIALIZES IN ADHD.
The timing for this video couldn't be better, thank you so much. I really struggle with my emotional regulation. When I'm overwhelmed, I tend to cry. It often becomes a barrier for me to communicate with others about the root of the issue, which frustrates me because I can't express how I'm feeling without being a blubbering mess. Then I start feeling ashamed or angry with myself for crying, which causes me to cry even more, and so on... In other words, the downward spiral as you so aptly put it. I had a particularly rough day of school today where we simulated a high-stress medical situation (I'm a nursing student). Afterward, I began crying because I felt so overwhelmed and really struggled with processing my feelings at that moment. I instantly began comparing myself to my peers, belittling myself for feeling so stressed and crying over a plastic mannequin. When my professor (very kindly) e-mailed me following the session to check in, I broke down with frustration and embarrassment. Your video has been a great tool in helping me unpack the day at my own pace. I'm working on understand the reasons behind my emotions and behaviors, acceptance of my emotions, as well as re-frame my assumptions of how others perceive me. Thank you again, this channel has been a life-line in helping me learn how to manage my ADHD and grow as a person :')
@Juniper Stripes That you have been accepted into a nursing program says that you have a lot going for you. Hang in there, believe in yourself, just know that everything will be okay. Life has a way of working out, in spite of ADHD. 💜
Wow, @Juniper Stripes, thank you for your comments. My mother and I were quick to cry in frustration/overwhelm, and for me, Nursing school was SO difficult years ago; I can't imagine how difficult it must be now! Good luck to you. I'm SO glad I found this site. It really is a lot of great information.
"When I'm overwhelmed, I tend to cry. It often becomes a barrier for me to communicate with others about the root of the issue, which frustrates me because I can't express how I'm feeling without being a blubbering mess. Then I start feeling ashamed or angry with myself for crying, which causes me to cry even more, and so on... In other words, the downward spiral as you so aptly put it." > Oh, that describes me so accurately... Could you share some of your re-framing successes? Sorry if that's too personal question - I just believe they can help others grow too. Even if it won't apply to others, it can help... framing how to work on it, lol.
I have always struggled to control my immediate emotional responses to negative (and positive!) events, since my recent diagnosis at 25 I found this channel provided life-changing support to help me, as well as provide advice to my ADHD students 🙂.
Something that's been helpful for me, is the idea that the first thing you think is automatic. It's reflexive, a product of your experience and what you've been taught. The second thing you think is entirely your choice, and then you can decide which one to act on and how that looks. It helped me a lot because I would feel guilty or depressed having a negative initial reaction, and get stuck at that point instead of getting to change it.
Are you a teacher? How do you experience teaching as someone with adhd? I'm thinking to go in that field or becoming a teaching assistant but I'm a little anxious about my add.
@maanlicht8583 honestly, having personal experience with ADHD helps you better emphasise with students with ADHD. As long as you're consistent, clear and kind, you'll be able to support and help the students 🙂 I don't know where you're based but being a TA gave me invaluable experience In supporting SEN students in the class room
My generalized anxiety coupled with my ADD has really crippled my social life. I've been meaning to reach out to a CBT therapist for help. I'm already 30 and nowhere near in life where I wanted to be.
I feel this so much! I’m 31 and I feel like I’m worse off than when I was in my early twenties because everything is just so much more exhausting these days. You’re not alone 💛
Sad to say I found CBT to be utterly useless due to my difficulties with understanding and processing emotions. I found DBT to be more effective, and am currently waiting for ACT with a therapist.
Yeah I have those issues too and I think that's alexithymia. I often cannot identify the emotion I feel or don't know how I'm feeling. With needing stimulation, mindfulness is difficult to achieve. I'm not sure if I've done CBT but the last 2 therapists I think had tried it. I found the Neurodivergent Friendly DBT Workbook. I think in the future I too would like to try ACT. SSI finally approved (also have EDS) and so with Medicaid I hope that will some things easier. I hope ACT goes well for you. :)
I just wanted to take a moment and thank you for your channel. I am a parent of a child recently diagnosed with ADHD. So hearing a real insider perspective of what has helped and really hasn't can help me be a better parent and advocate for her. I also have many neuro-spicy friends who have found your channel helpful. Just wanted to let you know that you are helping lots of people
6:13 is the game changer between gaslighting and emotions i actually want to change. Because this says that my emotions MIGHT be adequate. They often aren't because rejection sensitivity heightens my emotional responses, but they MIGHT BE and it's important to figure that out without denying the emotion straight away!
What she talks about at 6:00 happened to me when I tried CBT before I discovered this ADHD thing, with a therapist that was clueless about neurodivergence apparently. I was telling her about how I've always felt I am too forgetful and clumsy and people don't take me seriously because of it and she would interrupt me like "stop those thoughts before they appear, you're not clumsy, that's just the depression talking". I would burst into tears and go home feeling lonelier than before.
No hard feelings toward CBT, but for me personally, I find dialectical behavioral therapy (which she mentions towards the end!) more helpful for my needs ❤️ so if CBT isn't working for you, I highly recommend giving DBT a try! Don't give up on therapy, just keep trying to find the right fit for you! Also side note: I'd love to see a whole video on DBT!
Thank you for making me aware that something else exists. Every therapist I go to says CBT/Mindfulness and it hasn't worked despite over a decade of trying
Therapist after therapist taught me CBT. It got me absolutely nowhere for years. Late in life i was diagnosed with ADHD. Looking through the lense of ADHD, CBT has become one of the strongest tools in my kit.
This past summer I did the 12-ish week CBT program for ptsd, and while I still deal with ptsd, it taught me how to reshape my thoughts and reactions. I'm so glad my Therapist suggested it, and she's awesome. Thanks for this!! CBT is great
I noticed there weren't a lot of videos coming out lately so I was really excited to see that you put out a video on CBT!! I've been in therapy for over ten years and I'm also nearly done getting my Masters of Social Work. I'm doing an internship right now and using a LOT of CBT. It can help with trauma as well as other symptoms or thoughts going on. Edit: Your comment at the end was SOOOO perfect!!!! Studies have shown that the therapeutic relationship (alliance) matters the most in the outcome of therapy/treatment. That's why I always tell people to find the right person for them!! I've been with my therapist for over ten years now just because the relationship works and has continued to work. Once you find someone, they typically know other specialists (trauma, ADHD, or other specific diagnoses) so try to get some recommendations from the providers you trust most. They should have a decent idea on who they know that you would also work well with!
CBT was a game changer for myself as well in therapy. I absolutely recommend it, but I'm aware there are folks who aren't ready for it, or have unfortunately been introduced to the concept (or the related therapy, DBT) without first addressing some very deep seated trauma. Folks that have been hurt by this therapy, from what I understand/have seen anyways, are folks who never got a chance to really be heard or seen first. And it can feel invalidating when people try to explain things for you, your own feelings included. I think it depends on the therapist and how the process of the therapy is introduced. Definitely need a therapist who is patient, compassionate, and willing to go at the pace that you set things. Unfortunately, that kind of person isn't always available or accessible, especially to folks in poverty in the US. A friend of mine who is in poverty had attempted DBT and CBT, but it ended up doing more harm than good because the therapists were on a tight schedule. When you're on state insurance, you're limited to how many sessions and what kind of accessibility you have to help. There is an expectation that you need to get back on your feet ASAP to get back to work but when you carry immense trauma, that's just not going to work. So they felt dismissed and ridiculed instead. Again, I personally would recommend anyone who felt ready to explore this kind of therapy to do so, just be aware of what might be limiting for you (insurance, ect) and what kind of therapist you're finding.
It's also worth noting that individuals with moderate to severe Demand Avoidance will also struggle much more noticeably, or even possibly be counterproductive, with CBT than those without. Even worse if you have fully-diagnosed PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance, not to be confused with Public Displays of Affection :P). This can include those with ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, or other neuro-spicy disorders.
I love all these videos as I've been recently diagnosed, however, every time another video is recommended during any one of these videos. I find myself clicking on said video to fully read the title, and there have been multiple times I end up starting the recommended video before the current one is done. This channel is amazing and full of great information. Thank you Jessica for making me feel like I'm not alone when dealing with ADHD things in my daily life. Also thank you to the community for sharing their experiences and further validating what I've experienced for 30+ years.
Hi Jessica, I got officially diagnosed about 3 ish weeks ago. I've been watching alot of your video's (even before the diagnosis became official) and they've really helpt me link alot of my behavior and coping mechanisms to my ADHD. I've also started CBT in group therapy for my depression two weeks ago which is already giving me more insight into myself. Thanks for the good work, keep it up! (But don't forget to take care of yourself!!!!)
My adhd son was in a spiral last night. I told him to stop, we acknowledged he was in a negative thought spiral and moved onto something he would enjoy writing about. He knows what he's like and what he needs. I just provide the voice.
Most psychologists are not trained in trauma, only CBT, which is a Band-Aid and something you can learn and apply pretty quickly compared to long term mental health issues like anxiety and depression which are often life long. Had I had a trauma trained psych 10 years ago, i could have made so much more progress in my life. ❤
I have done CBT for a few years and it really helped me realize that my negative thinking wasn't always true and to question my thoughts and feelings, while giving me positive action steps to move in the direction of my goals. It has been invaluable and I recommend it. I am a new person and my therapist was really understanding of my ADHD. I now go back for a tune up here and there, but I have a new and wonderful life.
You, who has ADHD, are like a ray of sunshine on a rainy day. Remember, ADHD is not a disease; it is your brilliant uniqueness, and the world needs your brightness. Don't be discouraged! Don't let negative words shake you more than the certainty you have within yourself. We live in a world full of judgments and quick opinions, so it's important to remember that your intelligence doesn't depend on the temporary criteria others set. Ignoring gossip and empty criticism is a form of resistance. You, with a brilliant mind, should not belittle yourself because of others' limited views. What truly matters are not the negative words trying to reach you but the confidence you have in yourself. True intelligence goes beyond labels and quick judgments, revealing itself in actions, the ability to recover, and constant growth
Years of seeing psychologists in my 20s and leading to now being dignosed with ADHD at 35, I had learnt quite a lot in CBT and had always felt it being beneficial. Especially the correlation with my CORE beliefs knowing that I have a massive justice complex stemming from my adhd. Everyone does things wrong lol Take a moment
Sadly in the UK CBT is used as triaging treatment even when it is inappropriate and can cause more harm (C-PTSD, BPD, BP, autistic etc..) It's due to cost. Also, the training and application of it is really variable depending on where you live. CBT has its place but it's over-prescribed and misused here (or at least in London). My friends and family who have suffered under the invalidating use of CBT on their trauma or comorbid issues make them reluctant to seek out other forms of therapy now. I'm currently being forced to do TF-CBT (with no indication of where I am on the waiting list/no response when asking where I am), and they threatened to discharge me if I didn't do it and that I should pay for private if I wanted a different form of therapy I thought would be more appropriate for me.
It was my husband that suggested I get tested when he saw tiktoks about the symptoms...had my assessment two weeks ago and waiting for the results but just want to say that I watched your Tedx talk and am really excited to dive into your channel. I've been wanting a credible source with helpful advice so am excited; thank you for making this content. :)
Thank you for saying we can't directly control our emotions/feelings. In college I had a therapist who was supposed to be helping me with the insane stress and anxiety I was experiencing nearly 24/7 as a result of the, frankly abusive, bigoted heads of my major's department. Nearly every session she would tell me how these professors could "only" bother me if I "let them". As if watching my best friends be on the receiving end of racist and ableist comments and being personally denied resources big and small was supposed to just not bother me? It was so invalidating that she constantly wrote off the mistreatment we were enduring (including gaslighting) and just kept telling me to shrug it off and, essentially, accept that they were mistreating us at just take it. This was really validating to hear, and it wasn't even the main point of the video 😅 but thank you 💖
OMG YES!! I had a coworker once who said other people can't make me feel anything, that I have control over that myself. I've been trying to control my emotions my whole life and felt like a failure when I couldn't. It's been so liberating to know I really can't. And let myself feel what I'm feeling, then figure out what I might want to do from there. I thought it was important to include in the video, I'm glad it stood out to you :)
@@HowtoADHD I'm waiting to get an appointment for an adhd test, and I've really never related more to what u just said 😭 i'm trying to control my schedules and forgetting important stuff, and i'm trying to push through doing work but the fact its boring is so crippling to me. At times my mom tries to understand and she says I can control what I feel but she doesn't understand 😔
I do want to chime and in and say emotions and feelings are not the same thing. They often get lumped together though. Emotions are the physical response you have to something and the feelings are how you "choose" to react to that emotion. So emotions you have no control over what so ever, they are apart of the human experience. But since the feelings are what we "choose" its why you have some people being outraged by events, and others shrugging it off. BUT with people who are neurodivergent, regulating that response/feeling is going to be difficult, that is why I put quotations around choose. It often does not feel like a choice. But that is what CBT is supposed to help with right? And as @howtoADHD said in her comment, you feel your feelings and then figure it out what to do from there...Even for myself and understanding that, I have a long cooldown period from something that gives me an emotional response (happy/angry etc) before I can go about a situation accordingly. Now with that being said, I don't think you had a good therapist and had a terrible experience and I am sorry for that. I just wanted to point out the difference between the two.
Unfortunately, recent research is showing that CBT tends to be less effective for autistic people. Maybe I had an abnormal experience, but I found it useless and a little insulting, as I was already well aware of my thought processes and reactions to stressful events.
@@HowtoADHD There was a paper published in BMC Psychology in 2021 titled, "Cognitive behavioural therapy for anxiety in children and young people on the autism spectrum: a systematic review and meta-analysis". Other than that, I've just heard a lot of anecdotal reports of autistic people finding CBT ineffective for them.
@@Noctuloquor Thank you!! What do you think of DBT? I have (and love) this workbook: www.amazon.com/Neurodivergent-Friendly-Workbook-DBT-Skills/dp/B09S9JBS8G/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2MTEL2WOWMYMM&keywords=neurodivergent+dbt+workbook&qid=1674674358&sprefix=neurodivergent+dbt+workbook%2Caps%2C152&sr=8-1
@@HowtoADHD I've never tried it, but the descriptions of it that I've read seem more promising than CBT. That workbook looks pretty great, thanks for the recommendation!
CBT has been a great help for me, especially for dealing with comorbid disorders. Could you maybe do a video on the relationship between ADHD and eating disorders, if there is any?
I do hope CBT helps people. For me it never really worked. It annoys me since there is pretty much no other therapy but CBT where I live. But I guess my therapist also just tried curing my social phobia when that was just one small part of my problems.
Same. I was referred to a good CBT therapist and believed she would be effective, but after a couple years and the only CBT exercise she had me do was to write down an activity, how I felt before doing it, and how I felt after. It was supposed to "prove" to me that doing things wasn't as bad as I thought they'd be. Problem was, I already KNEW this, but still had trouble initiating things thanks to my executive dysfunction. She seemed to have no other tool in her toolbox and recommended I get tested for ADHD and autism and get help from their more specialized therapists. That was probably the best advice but I wish I hadn't wasted so much time getting there. (I still haven't gotten tested because, well, executive dysfunction 🙃)
Another possibility that might be worth looking into (if it resonates with you, of course) is therapy it's for individuals with Demand Avoidance. Even with CBT being executed properly by an experienced therapist, it's very difficult, if not counterproductive, to get the desired results...
@@whiteeeveeangel what would you look for in a therapist's credentials that could tell you they have experience with that? That definitely would resonate with me. Heck I can't even tell myself what to do!
ADHD is like a road trip with a bad GPS. Sure it'll keep you on the highway for a little bit, but next thing you know, you're taking the wrong exit and now you're in some small town you're unfamiliar with and have to navigate back to the highway while ignoring the directions the GPS keeps giving you.
My Anxiety & Depression isn't rooted in delusional thoughts or cognitive distortions; rather, I'm simply aware of the reality that surrounds us and am understably dismayed.
I'm autistic and I have ADHD and PTSD and I've actually found CBT to be the least helpful form of therapy I've tried. Of course, it works great for some folks, but gaining a greater understanding my thoughts and how they aren't helpful often made everything worse. I'm glad DBT was mentioned, and I absolutely recommend it if anyone has struggled with making progress through CBT! If you can accept your thoughts as just thoughts and not assign a value to them, they stop feeling "wrong" and the shame from thinking them improves immensely, which in turn makes other areas of focus easier to navigate. It's been incredibly helpful for coping with my intrusive thoughts and memories.
I loved with unmanaged ADHD until I was officially diagnosed at 40. For the last three years, using talk therapy and medication, I have worked to manage the aspects of ADHD that were hurting me, personally. However, being diagnosed as an educated adult with an advanced degree AND a full military career behind them, I adopted this mantra: I’m not stuck in here with “them” (NT’s).
when i got therapy through a school linked therapist, it was 'talk therapy' (nonspecific, I asked). It felt like they had been told 'talking about things is good' so they would just constantly try to get me to talk, refuse to say anything themselves, making me feel like I was talking to a scary institutional robot, and the constant questions of how I was etc. seemed designed to make me ruminate on things and fall into unhealthy thought spirals, just so that it looked like I was 'letting things out'. In actuality, this increased negative thought patterns and made me focus on issues I'd had in the near past etc., making it hard to live life in the present. Eventually I refused to keep going, but that experience has definitely made it harder to get help now. The plan for the future is to look for a therapist who is very specific about what they do and why, whether that be CBT or something otherwise related. A therapist who refuses to tell me what they are doing and why 1 invalidating a huge part of my everyday experience (needing to understand what is happening and why) and 2 potentially doing things for the sake of doing them rather than towards a goal.
CBT is fantastic. Mine helped me realize I had unrealistic expectations on myself, and she helped me plan out a more reasonable amount of things to do in a day, or week. She used to say, you can do everything, but not at the same time. She also had a lot of ideas for being time and I'd have homework, like thinking about the domino effects or recalling what things I am on time for, and what strategies do I use to do it, and then see if I can transfer that to things I am always late to. It was very helpful, and also not a long term thing. You work on the things and then one day, I was like, I enjoy talking to her, but I think I'm good for now. And she congratulated me for deciding that too. It was very positive.
One thing that has helped me is doing things that I want do but is emotionally challenging but not by directly forcing my self to do so, but instead working towards the goal by doing other things such as doing smaller, but still challenging things until I feel ready for the large challenge
I've come across a few people now who have had CBT and are autistic and have found it actually made them worse. My understanding of why this is, is that it can encourage masking harder. I've also seen studies that suggest it is helpful for autistic people so my guess is it depends how well trained the person isa and if their aware they are dealing with an autistic person.
As an AuDHD’er, I’ve always found CBT to be extremely invalidating, something I’ve heard from countless other autistics. For me, trauma-informed modalities, including DBT, as well as Accelerated Resolution Therapy, have been much more helpful and safe. I’ve noticed much of the therapy world is progressing to somatic approaches. Everyone’s mileage may vary, but I think it’s important to give a warning that the specific trauma that comes with being ND doesn’t often fit well with this mode of therapy. Edit: And now that I’ve watched the end of the video, I see you’ve addressed some of this. I guess I just wouldn’t even suggest CBT to neurodivergent people when it’s been so harmful to so many, especially compared to other modalities.
Depending on the therapist absolutely. My boyfriend is an AuDHD psychologist who specializes in CBT... I think if therapists better understood neurodivergence it wouldn't be as big an issue but given they don't, it's a really important point. Next video I write will be on DBT...
@@HowtoADHDAh, yes, CBT with an actually autistic therapist would be so much different. Looking forward to the DBT video! There’s a great book I highly recommend (The Neurodivergent Workbook of DBT Skills by AuDHD’er Sonny Jane Wise), that puts it through an ND lens.
Ive been to a DBT behavior class at the VA Hospital and it helped me from getting out of deep depression and anxiety...Especially in the state of America today...Ive seen people freaking out about petty situations that, to me, are easily taken in stride..The CBT is the next step that I can try...Thanks for sharing the video. 👌😎
@@DivergentIntuition Exactly. I've been told that CBT is actually a prerequisite for DBT, although this hasn't been a universal approach to handling them from what I understand.
CBT and good balance of medication made a huge difference in our house! My son has better tools for dealing with overwhelming emotions and I have a better understanding of how to communicate with him and what I'm doing that may make his life harder. I don't think I could overstate the difference in how things are at home, at school. It took a couple years of work, but it was beyond worth it.
i was offered CBT here in the UK as the only therapy available within our National Health Service, it was terrible... I attended 2 sessions and told them it made me feel worse. They basically told me everyrhing was my fault and I need to try harder... the therapist had no clue about ADHD either.
NHS mental health in the uk is so freaking garbage man, i've been put on a waiting list for an adhd test and its literally apparently 18 months to 2 years 🤦♀️
After a life time of NHS let downs, I'm lucky enough to have private healthcare through work .... I did try NHS mental health once .... they asked how mum dying made me feel .... like seriously dude? wtf do u think?
Thank you for the nuances in the video, and indicating that the right therapist, and a collaborative approach are critical. And thank you for mentioning the notions of gaslighting and invalidation that can take place if the therapy is not done well, or if it’s not based on testing hypotheses. I’ve been reading about CBT and neurodivergence, and it’s rarely mentioned. Your video is clear, and more nuanced.
I appreciate that you put out such amazing content. It is a wonderful way to also share these videos with others who may need a little boost now and then, I definitely do! Dealing with adult adhd and anxiety is exhausting and sometimes I just need a reminder that I'm better than this and start fighting again! Hence why I have small busrts of productivity and long periods of doing nothing. It just hasn't cemented into a routine yet and until it does, I will forget to do it!!!
I tried CBT and ACT, and both didn't do anything for me because it turned out I had borderline personality disorder. DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) did FREAKING WONDERS for me. CBT and ACT, as this video describes, focuses more on the cyclical thought processes we go through during emotional distress. But my level of emotional distress was so high and unmanageable that I couldn't bring myself down long enough to even consider thinking about my thoughts. DBT deals with the emotional disregulation and intensity itself, and once you have that framework THEN you can go into the cognitive stuff (which we're already beating ourselves up about in the first place). To summarize, it's not that any of these are worse than the others; it's that each is catered to a certain issue. If you're someone who has mood swings here and there but are generally regulated, CBT and ACT may do wonders for you. But if you're someone whose emotions are so intense it physically hurts, your mind shuts down, and you start astral projecting, I definitely highly suggest DBT.
you constantly explain to me so many things about me. the reason i don’t understand the concept of boundaries is because i have always had mine. i have never understood CBT because i taught this to myself years ago.
before i had therapy my self view was so low as can be. one of the few things i don't like going in debt about. but . CBT and therapy in general. really dug it back up and within 1 and a half year i went from almost daily self harm fantasies to a entire year of barely any deppresive weeks i'm happy and its a day night diffrence from how i used to feel. i can never stop recommending it but a good therapist is defnitly important. also your channel is amazing and super informative thank you so much for your amazing work
i feel like this literally came at the time i needed it, i really struggle to regulate my thoughts and emotions and especially right now more than ever so this really helped, thanks
Good intro to the processes! Last therapist I went to was mixing CBT and Dialectic. Even that was a help because analyzing his techniques helped to distract another brain channel from the feelings enough to augment the methods! I have found, though, that the same reframing suggestions from a most excellent and safe therapist were significantly less helpful than if those same thoughts were applied by a therapist experienced in dealing with the divergent brain! The added level of understanding matters, too! Thanks!!!
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:13 🔄 *Introduction to CBT* - Definition of CBT: a structured, goal-oriented talk therapy. - Aims to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression by addressing thoughts and behavior patterns. - Emphasizes the lack of direct control over feelings but focuses on adjusting thoughts for improvement. 02:33 🔄 *Cognitive Behavioral Models* - Introduction to the CBT triangle and its components (ABC model). - Albert Ellis's model with ABC: Antecedent, Belief, Consequences. - Example scenarios illustrating the impact of beliefs on emotions and behaviors. 04:28 🔄 *Cognitive Behavioral Model for ADHD* - Addressing core impairments in attention and self-regulation in individuals with ADHD. - The impact of ADHD on using strategies like calendars and the resulting negative thoughts and beliefs. - The importance of considering cognitive and emotional aspects in addressing functional impairments. 05:40 🔄 *Key Principles of CBT* - Overview of different forms of CBT and their principles. - CBT's structured and goal-oriented sessions, focusing on the present, and being collaborative. - Caution on the potential misuse of CBT and the importance of a collaborative approach. 06:37 🔄 *Diverse Forms of CBT* - Introduction to CBT forms like Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). - Emphasis on mindfulness, emotional distress tolerance, and acting toward meeting needs. - Encouragement to explore CBT through provided resources, including a thought log. 07:20 🔄 *Blinkist and Managerial Insights* - Introduction to Blinkist, an app summarizing non-fiction books, and its features. - Personal experience with Blinkist and sharing subscriptions through Blinkist Connect. - Insights into managerial development, focusing on effective delegation and employee development. Made with HARPA AI
Hello, I have ADHD-C, MID, Anxiety, Depression and Social Anxiety (those have been diagnosed) I think I have BPD tho…. I’ve been getting help for almost 3 years, nothing has worked. Not DBT, CBT, u name it. Nothing has worked; i still feel the same. About a month ago, my mental health nurse asked my psychiatrist if I could get therapy in the community… and my docs response was “no, I don’t think therapy will be beneficial for ____… I’ve done many different types of therapy with ____ and because of this, it will result in more hopelessness for ____ if it doesn’t work for them, you can pay the money, but it won’t fix anything” it hurts so bad, hearing that, and actually already knowing that I knew there wasn’t help for me. Every time I reach out, I just feel worse, because it won’t help me in anyway, so I just bottle things up, it’s what I’ve been doing ever since I started this new med almost 2 years ago. I do it to protect myself, and to protect others. I just wish there was something for me to do 😢
I had CBT to help with my anxiety issues. As my therapist told me, the way from a 'negative' experience to your negative thoughts is like a highway, whereas the road to more positive thoughts is a dirt road. Which would you take? It's one hundred times easier and faster to take the highway, so that's where your thoughts go. She also told me that the goal is not to turn the dirt road into a highway. If we could turn it into a local road, that would already be a huge win.
There have been quite a few articles popping up about how CBT is just gaslighting oneself. I really do not like the fact that CBT can obfuscate the reality of a situation by placing the causes on mental distortions instead of external factors or even internal ones, e.g., poor health.
Thankful for your videos! I started watching your videos a year ago when I realized I may have ADHD. This week at 26 years old I was finally diagnosed with combined type ADHD + anxiety! Really excited to get a treatment plan to help me function better. 🎉
I used to be schizoaffective, and CBT is more or less what helped me claw my way out of that. Ultimately, I had to make a choice was I more concerned that the delusions were true or the consequences of being wrong about these faceless monsters and probably wind up in prison or a hospital eventually. It was scary to err on the side of there being no monsters, but over time, it got better. It's amazing how well a simple thing like Occam's Razor can be in solving things like this. The less complicated answer to what was going on was that I was mistaken, rather than pretty much everybody else being wrong about it.
Therapy has helped me so much. I’ve done DBT for trauma and emotion regulation & distress tolerance then CBT for ADHD (you can ask any CBT therapist to do the “Mastering your Adult ADHD” workbook second edition; despite the name, I think it would also work for older kids too). I think you should consider making a video on DBT too. My short story: I was diagnosed with ADHD 1 year ago this month AND I’m pretty sure I discovered it because I hit a breaking point with family trauma & anxiety about 2 years ago. I started out with DBT (which is a type of CBT!) to address my trauma and anxiety, and I think that was the right way to go. But, after, I was really struggling with ADHD-like procrastination, perfectionism, organization, and a bit of distraction and impulsivity and even though meds help with my motivation, CBT is what has helped with that stuff the most and made me feel in control of my ADHD. I’m very grateful I did DBT first to work through my trauma and anxiety and learn how to regulate my emotions-and that out me in a much better position to problem solve my ADHD
P.S. For DBT, my therapist uses the “DBT Skills Training Worksheets and Handouts” book by Marsha Linehan, also second edition. That book isn’t ADHD specific but it’s been a good DBT book and I think DBT has been inherently helpful for ADHD because I think emotion regulation is helpful for RSD and impulsivity.
I think an important thing with CBT (and a lot of other therapies) is that the person getting the therapy does need to be in a mental state where they CAN start to do work on themselves. I think sometimes people get pushed into therapy in hopes that it will 'solve' whatever issues they have going on, without a huge amount of regard as to whether or not they're actually emotionally ready for that yet, and whether or not they have the emotional wherewithal to get through it, and whether or not they are ready to tackle parts of themselves that they don't/won't like. Therapy is work, and it's hard, and if you're not in a state of mind where you can start that difficult work, it can feel incredibly demotivating and invalidating. That being said, I think a good therapist is also essential, and can help a client get through that difficult personal work, and be a great motivation for continued improvement. A bad therapist meanwhile, can make things 10x worse if they aren't careful.
I thought this was an older video that I had somehow missed because it was retro style - the book of definitions, the background used, etc. I don’t know whether you pulled one out of the vault that you hadn’t published/ released when you made it or if you went retro for the vibe, but it is - as always - super helpful. I hope you’re doing well and still enjoying the process of writing your book. When you get 2/3 of the way finished, you’ll want to give up. The second wind that will take you to the finish line is just around the corner. Be one with the little engine that could. You’ll get there! We’re cheering you on! And thanks for this video! ❤️🏆✨📚🥛🌯🍪‼️
Yes to this from me as well! I just told my boss yesterday I need to transition out of my leadership role, and my ADHD is a giant part of my feeling like I can't do it.
I have been working through a DBT workbook since we have a super long waiting list for groups where I live. CBT seems to be more available but I haven't tried it. I have been told some ppl find it invalidating so I have been sticking with the DBT instead. Both are good therapies as far as I know.
CBT has not been too great for me, but I've heard good things about DBT. If you ever learn anything and make a video on that I'd love to hear about it. I hardly know anything about it
I had CBT last year for my OCD, it helped to an extent but my OCD never went away, it just got a bit better but the exposure therapy part of it was certainly useful and I still use it when I see myself spiralling back into certain contamination issues. I'm about to start CBT again but with a specific focus on my core beliefs, as my negative core beliefs were picked up in my therapy last year and it was recommended I come back to work in them specifically. As a late diagnosed autistic ADHDer my core beliefs are terrible, I have nothing but self-doubt over being "wrong" or "difficult". I'm hoping this next round of therapy helps start to alleviate that.
My diagnostic history goes from anxiety through depression, type II bipolar, to ADHD. I've been through several depression grouos/classes snd several therapists (they keep retiring or moving away).They all shared more of a do-it-yourself version of CBT, i.e. learning to use the thought record to think through the miserable thoughts and feelings. I'm not sure what you all mean about a therapist "using"' CBT and having it feel invalidating. My understanding is that my therapist "uses" it to help me work through my biggest awfuls with gentle reminders of the basic CBT model when Im too messed up to do it myself. i.e. 1. "what are you thinking that makes you feel that way? 2. Is it really true? 3. How do you know? (what evidence do you have that what you're thinking is or isn't true? (List both). 4. Imagine a friend told you they were having these thought/feelings, stemming from some event or series of events. What would you say to them? Yes, it is very useful to work with a therapist who knows ADHD well. But whoever they are, if you know they are a CBT person, you know that when they say, "wait a minute, is that true? How do you know that?" They aren't telling you you're wrong, because of course your thoughts snd feelings are valid.. Instead they are they are guiding you through or reminding you of how the process works, and letting you know they are confident you are capable of using it. When I feel lower than low, if I can remember to work my way through the steps, it helps tremendously. personally over the years I have found using a thought record very helpful. When I feel at my worst about everything, the one thing that helps is writing out all the negative thoughts and using the prompts to think my way through. I don't always think to use it, and its not a magic wand, but when I do it helps a lot. The only therapist I ever "fired" was the one who said, "well, maybe you ARE isolated and alone" and gave me no tools to deal with that belief.
I've been watching your channel for a while and once I had made an account I followed. I'm a teen and recently started seeing the phycyatrist I saw when I was little. Now she's going to get me tested. I don't know how it works but I'm excited to see if this is why my brain is a little different.
Problem is. That even in my country where the health system is public. It is very hard to find a competent CBT practitioner with speciality in treating ADHD kind as well. Especially the ADHD brains that also suffer from other chronic conditions.
Hey Jess, it may be worth reaching out to Linus Sebastian who runs Linus Media Group near Vancouver. Linus has ADHD, but also runs a SUPER successful UA-cam media company (dare I say 'empire'). It would be a really interesting interview about how he runs his company of 80+ people, ideas, development, etc, etc, and how his ADHD helps/hinders that. Like his literal inability to see ads on a website due to hyper focus🤣. But great to see you back for 2023!
I got my ADHD diagnosis today. The psychologist recommended your channel. I had already found your channel.... but the fact that psychologists are literally recommending your channel is freaking amazing. Congratulations!
right? I mean, its def easier to digest then poring through research.
you got your diagnosis from... psychologist? definitely not a sus comment
I've gone through 4 different therapists who specialized in CBT and it honestly just made me more frustrated and stressed. My ADHD just feels cold and lonesome. I'm always told that I'm one of the nicest people they've met, but I don't often think that's true. I hate being confrontational, but there are flares when someone tries to be bullheaded. I'm afraid of being alone, and I constantly feel I'm getting further and further away from people unintentionally.
Another commenter mentioned ACT therapy, maybe that might be a better fit? I wish I had more advice to give. If it helps, I really relate to what you've said and I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate it myself.
Why do you think CBT doesn't work for you? If you're caught in a compensation loop of "being too nice to a point where you feel you're false and your relationships are with a mask rather than you" and "getting to worked up without saying anything until a point you'll just explode into being confrontational" then maybe you should try DBT and assertive dialogue to set your limits firmly but respectfully. I hope you find a good therapy!
My mind is blown, i have exactly the same problem like u. Tell me one thing ,are u also introvert in nature and have intrusive thoughts ?
@@sohamsteel1345we have intrusive thoughts
Definitely have benefited from cbt. It’s like, the way it’s described almost sounds like we’re saying “just think differently and everything will get better” but really it’s like “bad things happen that are overwhelming, changing how we think and behave make those things easier to handle”
Oh I love that way of putting it
That's so true! And the way I've worked with CBT, it also allowed me to be curious and ask myself: "OK, my reaction to this event doesn't seem to help me, but I can't change it - why?". For example, if I'm not letting go of anger, even if forgiveness would bring me peace, it might be because my brain really believes we have to feel anger to protect ourselves from further harm, humiliation, etc. So a good therapist will not gaslight you AND will teach you more about why we feel the way it feel. It ended up making me feel thankful for "bad" emotions, even, now that I understand them better.
This is just an example, but CBT + my therapist really opened a new world for me. I find it fascinating!
The title had me thinking of something VERY different at first.
Then I read the description.
Same! Lol. I’d like to see a vid about that
@@Olimick98 haha! I didn't even think about that. Possibly!
Cognitive Behavioral Torture. Same as CBT but it aims to make you worse.
For what it's worth, CBT can feel super invalidating and actually make things worse for people with trauma, so if you have ADHD + Trauma (and a LOT of us do), then look into DBT, which focuses more on your reactions to emotions and regulating through triggers instead of just trying to prevent them
@Nicholas Millington Could you please link those references? I'm especially interested in knowing more about the negative correlation between effectiveness and understanding! Thanks!
I think DBT then CBT is best-that’s what I’ve done and it’s been great.
I was diagnosed with ADHD 1 year ago this month AND I’m pretty sure I discovered it because I hit a breaking point with family trauma & anxiety about 2 years ago. I started out with DBT (which is a type of CBT!) to address my trauma and anxiety, and I think that was the right way to go. But, after, I was really struggling with ADHD-like procrastination, perfectionism, organization, and a bit of distraction and impulsivity and even though meds help with my motivation, CBT is what has helped with that stuff the most and made me feel in control of my ADHD. I’m very grateful I did DBT first to work through my trauma and anxiety and learn how to regulate my emotions-and that out me in a much better position to problem solve my ADHD-I think it’s wrong to say CBT is bad for ADHDers with trauma, but maybe it’s difficult / not enough if you have a lot of unprocessed trauma, but that’s a true for a lot of things. I don’t think ADHD-skills CBT is meant for trauma and we should assume that any “therapy” is meant for trauma.
@@myleonisd tacking onto this comment because I’m very interested too.
@@sanachanto Sadly I don't actually expect them to answer... But I hope they will.
Thanks so much for posting this (and the likers for making it top comment)! I happen to be someone struggling with trauma therapy.
What's the D stand for in this case?
CBT therapist here and trainee psychologist. I have ADHD and my best advice to anyone interested in therapy is to make sure you find a therapist who has specialist experience and training to work with people who have ADHD. Bog standard CBT might be a struggle for some with ADHD. Especially if you're someone who struggles with the concept of homework, diaries etc...
I tried standard CBT as an ADHD person, and I completely agree. It left me even worse than nothing because of the shame associated with not being able to do homework.
@@Serena-or7sl Absolutely, same experience here. It just made me feel worse.
@@Serena-or7sl sorry to hear that. It's far too common. It's the therapist to blame not you though. Any therapist regardless of what model they use in therapy should be able to be flexible enough to fit around the client rather than have the client fit into the therapy model.
Do have any recommendations on how to find what therapists available to my area have the appropriate experience for ADHD patients? I’ve been thinking for a while that it might be a good thing to try, and I think my dad was only pushing for the idea a year or two back when he got a better look at how I “handle” school (usually my mom was always the one who was involved).
I’ve never really done anything in regards to therapy because I wasn’t sure which kind to get or how to find a good therapist.
I had this issue with CBT first time round and it honestly really made me disengage. i was lucky enough that second time my assigned therapist was much more sympathetic and adaptive with this. the right therapist really can make a difference
The feedback loop @4:48 is the most difficult part to get out of with my ADHD. It has taken lots of brain self-training to instead step back and think about my reaction and thoughts and not react out my first thoughts, later leading to the negative regretful feelings.
To those reading this, it is possible and like every other habit takes step at a time. This includes great bounds forward along with stumbles and steps back. Best of luck!
Get 40% off Blinkist premium, only valid until February! Enjoy 2 memberships for the price of 1. Start your 7-day free trial by clicking here: www.blinkist.com/howtoadhd
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, since apparently I need to specify 🤣 UPDATE: Ok I changed it in the title too. Sorry to disappoint anyone who expected this to be about marijuana or uh. Adult stuff 😂
If anyone's looking for a CBT therapist in the US, this can be a good place to look (you can search by insurance too!) www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists -- LOOK FOR SOMEONE WHO SPECIALIZES IN ADHD.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who was thinking of the other meanings when I saw this 😂😂😂😂
"CBT is everywhere"
Oh. Well then. XD
How can I find a therapist for my child?
Positive Gaslighting? I don't know... what's the difference? 😄
There's a big difference between CBT and, uh... _CBD._ 😅 I didn't get confused.
I did think it though. Briefly. 😂
The timing for this video couldn't be better, thank you so much.
I really struggle with my emotional regulation. When I'm overwhelmed, I tend to cry. It often becomes a barrier for me to communicate with others about the root of the issue, which frustrates me because I can't express how I'm feeling without being a blubbering mess. Then I start feeling ashamed or angry with myself for crying, which causes me to cry even more, and so on... In other words, the downward spiral as you so aptly put it.
I had a particularly rough day of school today where we simulated a high-stress medical situation (I'm a nursing student). Afterward, I began crying because I felt so overwhelmed and really struggled with processing my feelings at that moment. I instantly began comparing myself to my peers, belittling myself for feeling so stressed and crying over a plastic mannequin. When my professor (very kindly) e-mailed me following the session to check in, I broke down with frustration and embarrassment.
Your video has been a great tool in helping me unpack the day at my own pace. I'm working on understand the reasons behind my emotions and behaviors, acceptance of my emotions, as well as re-frame my assumptions of how others perceive me.
Thank you again, this channel has been a life-line in helping me learn how to manage my ADHD and grow as a person :')
@Juniper Stripes That you have been accepted into a nursing program says that you have a lot going for you. Hang in there, believe in yourself, just know that everything will be okay. Life has a way of working out, in spite of ADHD. 💜
Wow, @Juniper Stripes, thank you for your comments. My mother and I were quick to cry in frustration/overwhelm, and for me, Nursing school was SO difficult years ago; I can't imagine how difficult it must be now! Good luck to you. I'm SO glad I found this site. It really is a lot of great information.
Oops, sorry for misspelling your name,@ Juniper Sprites!
"When I'm overwhelmed, I tend to cry. It often becomes a barrier for me to communicate with others about the root of the issue, which frustrates me because I can't express how I'm feeling without being a blubbering mess. Then I start feeling ashamed or angry with myself for crying, which causes me to cry even more, and so on... In other words, the downward spiral as you so aptly put it." > Oh, that describes me so accurately...
Could you share some of your re-framing successes? Sorry if that's too personal question - I just believe they can help others grow too. Even if it won't apply to others, it can help... framing how to work on it, lol.
I have always struggled to control my immediate emotional responses to negative (and positive!) events, since my recent diagnosis at 25 I found this channel provided life-changing support to help me, as well as provide advice to my ADHD students 🙂.
I was diagnosed at 24, and it was such an epiphany of my massive reactions to any negative thing since I was a child.
Something that's been helpful for me, is the idea that the first thing you think is automatic. It's reflexive, a product of your experience and what you've been taught. The second thing you think is entirely your choice, and then you can decide which one to act on and how that looks. It helped me a lot because I would feel guilty or depressed having a negative initial reaction, and get stuck at that point instead of getting to change it.
Same I'm 25 and diagnosed a few months ago I always knew more recently that I had it and so symptoms and yeah ADHD inattentive
Are you a teacher? How do you experience teaching as someone with adhd? I'm thinking to go in that field or becoming a teaching assistant but I'm a little anxious about my add.
@maanlicht8583 honestly, having personal experience with ADHD helps you better emphasise with students with ADHD. As long as you're consistent, clear and kind, you'll be able to support and help the students 🙂 I don't know where you're based but being a TA gave me invaluable experience In supporting SEN students in the class room
My generalized anxiety coupled with my ADD has really crippled my social life. I've been meaning to reach out to a CBT therapist for help. I'm already 30 and nowhere near in life where I wanted to be.
I feel this so much! I’m 31 and I feel like I’m worse off than when I was in my early twenties because everything is just so much more exhausting these days. You’re not alone 💛
+1 here, and 34 years young. At the moment, I don't even know were I wanted to be by now 🤔🙃😆. None of us are alone 💛
I've been through CBT and it's been immensely helpful for me. I strongly recommend you do it if you're able to!
I started therapy for the first time at 33, so I understand the feeling. I'm 37 now and I promise you can still make great progress. 🙂
It's never too late to start therapy ❤️
Sad to say I found CBT to be utterly useless due to my difficulties with understanding and processing emotions. I found DBT to be more effective, and am currently waiting for ACT with a therapist.
Yeah I have those issues too and I think that's alexithymia. I often cannot identify the emotion I feel or don't know how I'm feeling. With needing stimulation, mindfulness is difficult to achieve. I'm not sure if I've done CBT but the last 2 therapists I think had tried it. I found the Neurodivergent Friendly DBT Workbook. I think in the future I too would like to try ACT. SSI finally approved (also have EDS) and so with Medicaid I hope that will some things easier. I hope ACT goes well for you. :)
what is the difference?
I just wanted to take a moment and thank you for your channel. I am a parent of a child recently diagnosed with ADHD. So hearing a real insider perspective of what has helped and really hasn't can help me be a better parent and advocate for her. I also have many neuro-spicy friends who have found your channel helpful. Just wanted to let you know that you are helping lots of people
"Neuro-spicy" - ooh, I like that 😂
6:13 is the game changer between gaslighting and emotions i actually want to change. Because this says that my emotions MIGHT be adequate. They often aren't because rejection sensitivity heightens my emotional responses, but they MIGHT BE and it's important to figure that out without denying the emotion straight away!
What she talks about at 6:00 happened to me when I tried CBT before I discovered this ADHD thing, with a therapist that was clueless about neurodivergence apparently. I was telling her about how I've always felt I am too forgetful and clumsy and people don't take me seriously because of it and she would interrupt me like "stop those thoughts before they appear, you're not clumsy, that's just the depression talking". I would burst into tears and go home feeling lonelier than before.
So please make sure to ask the therapist whether they have experience treating ADHD before you start.
'Stop those thoughts' sounds unhelpful even for depression though. So depressed people can stop their negative thoughts if they were told to do so?
Careful googling CBT without safe search engaged!
No hard feelings toward CBT, but for me personally, I find dialectical behavioral therapy (which she mentions towards the end!) more helpful for my needs ❤️ so if CBT isn't working for you, I highly recommend giving DBT a try! Don't give up on therapy, just keep trying to find the right fit for you!
Also side note: I'd love to see a whole video on DBT!
Thank you for making me aware that something else exists. Every therapist I go to says CBT/Mindfulness and it hasn't worked despite over a decade of trying
This dropped at the absolute exact moment I needed it. Thank you!
Aw yay, hope it's helpful!!!
Therapist after therapist taught me CBT. It got me absolutely nowhere for years. Late in life i was diagnosed with ADHD. Looking through the lense of ADHD, CBT has become one of the strongest tools in my kit.
This past summer I did the 12-ish week CBT program for ptsd, and while I still deal with ptsd, it taught me how to reshape my thoughts and reactions. I'm so glad my Therapist suggested it, and she's awesome.
Thanks for this!! CBT is great
I noticed there weren't a lot of videos coming out lately so I was really excited to see that you put out a video on CBT!! I've been in therapy for over ten years and I'm also nearly done getting my Masters of Social Work. I'm doing an internship right now and using a LOT of CBT. It can help with trauma as well as other symptoms or thoughts going on.
Edit: Your comment at the end was SOOOO perfect!!!! Studies have shown that the therapeutic relationship (alliance) matters the most in the outcome of therapy/treatment. That's why I always tell people to find the right person for them!! I've been with my therapist for over ten years now just because the relationship works and has continued to work. Once you find someone, they typically know other specialists (trauma, ADHD, or other specific diagnoses) so try to get some recommendations from the providers you trust most. They should have a decent idea on who they know that you would also work well with!
CBT was a game changer for myself as well in therapy. I absolutely recommend it, but I'm aware there are folks who aren't ready for it, or have unfortunately been introduced to the concept (or the related therapy, DBT) without first addressing some very deep seated trauma.
Folks that have been hurt by this therapy, from what I understand/have seen anyways, are folks who never got a chance to really be heard or seen first. And it can feel invalidating when people try to explain things for you, your own feelings included.
I think it depends on the therapist and how the process of the therapy is introduced. Definitely need a therapist who is patient, compassionate, and willing to go at the pace that you set things. Unfortunately, that kind of person isn't always available or accessible, especially to folks in poverty in the US.
A friend of mine who is in poverty had attempted DBT and CBT, but it ended up doing more harm than good because the therapists were on a tight schedule. When you're on state insurance, you're limited to how many sessions and what kind of accessibility you have to help. There is an expectation that you need to get back on your feet ASAP to get back to work but when you carry immense trauma, that's just not going to work. So they felt dismissed and ridiculed instead.
Again, I personally would recommend anyone who felt ready to explore this kind of therapy to do so, just be aware of what might be limiting for you (insurance, ect) and what kind of therapist you're finding.
Thanks for sharing this!!
It's also worth noting that individuals with moderate to severe Demand Avoidance will also struggle much more noticeably, or even possibly be counterproductive, with CBT than those without. Even worse if you have fully-diagnosed PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance, not to be confused with Public Displays of Affection :P). This can include those with ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, or other neuro-spicy disorders.
I love all these videos as I've been recently diagnosed, however, every time another video is recommended during any one of these videos. I find myself clicking on said video to fully read the title, and there have been multiple times I end up starting the recommended video before the current one is done.
This channel is amazing and full of great information. Thank you Jessica for making me feel like I'm not alone when dealing with ADHD things in my daily life. Also thank you to the community for sharing their experiences and further validating what I've experienced for 30+ years.
Hi Jessica, I got officially diagnosed about 3 ish weeks ago. I've been watching alot of your video's (even before the diagnosis became official) and they've really helpt me link alot of my behavior and coping mechanisms to my ADHD. I've also started CBT in group therapy for my depression two weeks ago which is already giving me more insight into myself. Thanks for the good work, keep it up! (But don't forget to take care of yourself!!!!)
have you guys ever done a video on how adhd affects our responses to stressful driving situations, and a possible link between adhd and road rage?
Not yet but I love that idea!!!
Sounds like something CBT could help with! 😅
@@HowtoADHD I’ve tried to get in contact with you. I’m an adhd therapist and would love to be on your show! Please contact me
@@rynezuzinec688 Please reach out to my business manager, Linnea! You can find her email on this page: howtoadhd.com/contact-us/
:) Thank you!!
The CBT here stands for cognitive behavioural therapy, in case anyone clicked on this video for other reasons
LMAO I was legitimately wondering about that. Not to say that the other CBT wouldn't be therapeutic for some.
But it's C B _D,_ though... 😅
@@TheEDFLegacy no
What?
There’s nothing wrong or dirty about CBD……
Oh……….
🤣 yes, quite the topic difference
My adhd son was in a spiral last night. I told him to stop, we acknowledged he was in a negative thought spiral and moved onto something he would enjoy writing about. He knows what he's like and what he needs. I just provide the voice.
Most psychologists are not trained in trauma, only CBT, which is a Band-Aid and something you can learn and apply pretty quickly compared to long term mental health issues like anxiety and depression which are often life long. Had I had a trauma trained psych 10 years ago, i could have made so much more progress in my life. ❤
Man, I was worried this channel took a *dramatic* turn.
haha nah, still family friendly!
I have done CBT for a few years and it really helped me realize that my negative thinking wasn't always true and to question my thoughts and feelings, while giving me positive action steps to move in the direction of my goals. It has been invaluable and I recommend it. I am a new person and my therapist was really understanding of my ADHD. I now go back for a tune up here and there, but I have a new and wonderful life.
You, who has ADHD, are like a ray of sunshine on a rainy day. Remember, ADHD is not a disease; it is your brilliant uniqueness, and the world needs your brightness. Don't be discouraged! Don't let negative words shake you more than the certainty you have within yourself. We live in a world full of judgments and quick opinions, so it's important to remember that your intelligence doesn't depend on the temporary criteria others set. Ignoring gossip and empty criticism is a form of resistance. You, with a brilliant mind, should not belittle yourself because of others' limited views. What truly matters are not the negative words trying to reach you but the confidence you have in yourself. True intelligence goes beyond labels and quick judgments, revealing itself in actions, the ability to recover, and constant growth
Years of seeing psychologists in my 20s and leading to now being dignosed with ADHD at 35, I had learnt quite a lot in CBT and had always felt it being beneficial.
Especially the correlation with my CORE beliefs knowing that I have a massive justice complex stemming from my adhd. Everyone does things wrong lol
Take a moment
"Justice Complex" ...
...
So thats what it's called.
i’m pretty sure you are right and they just don’t care . neurotypical people just don’t GAF 😞
I have a strong sense of justice
Sadly in the UK CBT is used as triaging treatment even when it is inappropriate and can cause more harm (C-PTSD, BPD, BP, autistic etc..) It's due to cost. Also, the training and application of it is really variable depending on where you live.
CBT has its place but it's over-prescribed and misused here (or at least in London). My friends and family who have suffered under the invalidating use of CBT on their trauma or comorbid issues make them reluctant to seek out other forms of therapy now.
I'm currently being forced to do TF-CBT (with no indication of where I am on the waiting list/no response when asking where I am), and they threatened to discharge me if I didn't do it and that I should pay for private if I wanted a different form of therapy I thought would be more appropriate for me.
The more you do...the more you do! Having a team keeps YOU available to do more of the things you're good at and grow your business xx
It was my husband that suggested I get tested when he saw tiktoks about the symptoms...had my assessment two weeks ago and waiting for the results but just want to say that I watched your Tedx talk and am really excited to dive into your channel. I've been wanting a credible source with helpful advice so am excited; thank you for making this content. :)
Thank you for saying we can't directly control our emotions/feelings. In college I had a therapist who was supposed to be helping me with the insane stress and anxiety I was experiencing nearly 24/7 as a result of the, frankly abusive, bigoted heads of my major's department. Nearly every session she would tell me how these professors could "only" bother me if I "let them". As if watching my best friends be on the receiving end of racist and ableist comments and being personally denied resources big and small was supposed to just not bother me? It was so invalidating that she constantly wrote off the mistreatment we were enduring (including gaslighting) and just kept telling me to shrug it off and, essentially, accept that they were mistreating us at just take it.
This was really validating to hear, and it wasn't even the main point of the video 😅 but thank you 💖
OMG YES!! I had a coworker once who said other people can't make me feel anything, that I have control over that myself. I've been trying to control my emotions my whole life and felt like a failure when I couldn't. It's been so liberating to know I really can't. And let myself feel what I'm feeling, then figure out what I might want to do from there. I thought it was important to include in the video, I'm glad it stood out to you :)
@@HowtoADHD I'm waiting to get an appointment for an adhd test, and I've really never related more to what u just said 😭 i'm trying to control my schedules and forgetting important stuff, and i'm trying to push through doing work but the fact its boring is so crippling to me. At times my mom tries to understand and she says I can control what I feel but she doesn't understand 😔
What an awful experience!
I do want to chime and in and say emotions and feelings are not the same thing. They often get lumped together though. Emotions are the physical response you have to something and the feelings are how you "choose" to react to that emotion. So emotions you have no control over what so ever, they are apart of the human experience. But since the feelings are what we "choose" its why you have some people being outraged by events, and others shrugging it off. BUT with people who are neurodivergent, regulating that response/feeling is going to be difficult, that is why I put quotations around choose. It often does not feel like a choice. But that is what CBT is supposed to help with right? And as @howtoADHD said in her comment, you feel your feelings and then figure it out what to do from there...Even for myself and understanding that, I have a long cooldown period from something that gives me an emotional response (happy/angry etc) before I can go about a situation accordingly.
Now with that being said, I don't think you had a good therapist and had a terrible experience and I am sorry for that.
I just wanted to point out the difference between the two.
@@RedSmellsLikeOrange Thank you for doing so! I thought there was a distinction between the two words but wasn't sure what it was.
Unfortunately, recent research is showing that CBT tends to be less effective for autistic people. Maybe I had an abnormal experience, but I found it useless and a little insulting, as I was already well aware of my thought processes and reactions to stressful events.
This!
I haven't looked at research on CBT for autism, I would love to see anything you've found!
@@HowtoADHD There was a paper published in BMC Psychology in 2021 titled, "Cognitive behavioural therapy for anxiety in children and young people on the autism spectrum: a systematic review and meta-analysis". Other than that, I've just heard a lot of anecdotal reports of autistic people finding CBT ineffective for them.
@@Noctuloquor Thank you!! What do you think of DBT? I have (and love) this workbook: www.amazon.com/Neurodivergent-Friendly-Workbook-DBT-Skills/dp/B09S9JBS8G/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2MTEL2WOWMYMM&keywords=neurodivergent+dbt+workbook&qid=1674674358&sprefix=neurodivergent+dbt+workbook%2Caps%2C152&sr=8-1
@@HowtoADHD I've never tried it, but the descriptions of it that I've read seem more promising than CBT. That workbook looks pretty great, thanks for the recommendation!
CBT has been a great help for me, especially for dealing with comorbid disorders. Could you maybe do a video on the relationship between ADHD and eating disorders, if there is any?
I do hope CBT helps people. For me it never really worked. It annoys me since there is pretty much no other therapy but CBT where I live. But I guess my therapist also just tried curing my social phobia when that was just one small part of my problems.
Yeah unfortunately it really depends on the therapist and how they're using it... a lot of "CBT" therapists aren't really doing CBT
@@HowtoADHD This exactly. You need a good therapist for it to work properly.
Same. I was referred to a good CBT therapist and believed she would be effective, but after a couple years and the only CBT exercise she had me do was to write down an activity, how I felt before doing it, and how I felt after. It was supposed to "prove" to me that doing things wasn't as bad as I thought they'd be. Problem was, I already KNEW this, but still had trouble initiating things thanks to my executive dysfunction.
She seemed to have no other tool in her toolbox and recommended I get tested for ADHD and autism and get help from their more specialized therapists. That was probably the best advice but I wish I hadn't wasted so much time getting there. (I still haven't gotten tested because, well, executive dysfunction 🙃)
Another possibility that might be worth looking into (if it resonates with you, of course) is therapy it's for individuals with Demand Avoidance. Even with CBT being executed properly by an experienced therapist, it's very difficult, if not counterproductive, to get the desired results...
@@whiteeeveeangel what would you look for in a therapist's credentials that could tell you they have experience with that? That definitely would resonate with me. Heck I can't even tell myself what to do!
Au/adhd here and recently reevaluating my hamster wheels of thought when it comes to love and attraction.
ADHD is like a road trip with a bad GPS. Sure it'll keep you on the highway for a little bit, but next thing you know, you're taking the wrong exit and now you're in some small town you're unfamiliar with and have to navigate back to the highway while ignoring the directions the GPS keeps giving you.
My Anxiety & Depression isn't rooted in delusional thoughts or cognitive distortions; rather, I'm simply aware of the reality that surrounds us and am understably dismayed.
That makes sense! And honestly, this is such a great example of why CBT may not always be the therapy type someone needs. I'm glad you commented! 😊
Bro I saw the post notif and I was like there’s no way she really just said this💀
I'm autistic and I have ADHD and PTSD and I've actually found CBT to be the least helpful form of therapy I've tried. Of course, it works great for some folks, but gaining a greater understanding my thoughts and how they aren't helpful often made everything worse. I'm glad DBT was mentioned, and I absolutely recommend it if anyone has struggled with making progress through CBT! If you can accept your thoughts as just thoughts and not assign a value to them, they stop feeling "wrong" and the shame from thinking them improves immensely, which in turn makes other areas of focus easier to navigate. It's been incredibly helpful for coping with my intrusive thoughts and memories.
OMG, thank you. I've been waiting for a shorter form video on this topic!!
Yay! Yeah I've been wanting to do it for awhile, it was a big topic so I wanted to make sure I fully understood it first :)
This is really informational and eye opening, appreciate the topics you cover on your videos!
Thank you!! :D I appreciate you watching and commenting, it increases the likelihood more people will see it and benefit toooo
I loved with unmanaged ADHD until I was officially diagnosed at 40. For the last three years, using talk therapy and medication, I have worked to manage the aspects of ADHD that were hurting me, personally. However, being diagnosed as an educated adult with an advanced degree AND a full military career behind them, I adopted this mantra: I’m not stuck in here with “them” (NT’s).
when i got therapy through a school linked therapist, it was 'talk therapy' (nonspecific, I asked). It felt like they had been told 'talking about things is good' so they would just constantly try to get me to talk, refuse to say anything themselves, making me feel like I was talking to a scary institutional robot, and the constant questions of how I was etc. seemed designed to make me ruminate on things and fall into unhealthy thought spirals, just so that it looked like I was 'letting things out'. In actuality, this increased negative thought patterns and made me focus on issues I'd had in the near past etc., making it hard to live life in the present. Eventually I refused to keep going, but that experience has definitely made it harder to get help now.
The plan for the future is to look for a therapist who is very specific about what they do and why, whether that be CBT or something otherwise related. A therapist who refuses to tell me what they are doing and why 1 invalidating a huge part of my everyday experience (needing to understand what is happening and why) and 2 potentially doing things for the sake of doing them rather than towards a goal.
CBT is fantastic. Mine helped me realize I had unrealistic expectations on myself, and she helped me plan out a more reasonable amount of things to do in a day, or week. She used to say, you can do everything, but not at the same time. She also had a lot of ideas for being time and I'd have homework, like thinking about the domino effects or recalling what things I am on time for, and what strategies do I use to do it, and then see if I can transfer that to things I am always late to. It was very helpful, and also not a long term thing. You work on the things and then one day, I was like, I enjoy talking to her, but I think I'm good for now. And she congratulated me for deciding that too. It was very positive.
One thing that has helped me is doing things that I want do but is emotionally challenging but not by directly forcing my self to do so, but instead working towards the goal by doing other things such as doing smaller, but still challenging things until I feel ready for the large challenge
I've come across a few people now who have had CBT and are autistic and have found it actually made them worse. My understanding of why this is, is that it can encourage masking harder. I've also seen studies that suggest it is helpful for autistic people so my guess is it depends how well trained the person isa and if their aware they are dealing with an autistic person.
This was a great explanation, and I loved how you included the warning about not getting caught up in "thought blame" and gaslighting. Good job!
As an AuDHD’er, I’ve always found CBT to be extremely invalidating, something I’ve heard from countless other autistics. For me, trauma-informed modalities, including DBT, as well as Accelerated Resolution Therapy, have been much more helpful and safe. I’ve noticed much of the therapy world is progressing to somatic approaches. Everyone’s mileage may vary, but I think it’s important to give a warning that the specific trauma that comes with being ND doesn’t often fit well with this mode of therapy.
Edit: And now that I’ve watched the end of the video, I see you’ve addressed some of this. I guess I just wouldn’t even suggest CBT to neurodivergent people when it’s been so harmful to so many, especially compared to other modalities.
Yes!!
Depending on the therapist absolutely. My boyfriend is an AuDHD psychologist who specializes in CBT... I think if therapists better understood neurodivergence it wouldn't be as big an issue but given they don't, it's a really important point. Next video I write will be on DBT...
@@HowtoADHDAh, yes, CBT with an actually autistic therapist would be so much different. Looking forward to the DBT video! There’s a great book I highly recommend (The Neurodivergent Workbook of DBT Skills by AuDHD’er Sonny Jane Wise), that puts it through an ND lens.
@@mirandaranda57 YES! I have that one. I just linked to it in the description :D
@@mirandaranda57 I went to look for this book and instead the first result was a manual on “radically eliminating neurodivergent disorders” 🤢💀
Unrelated to the video, but I just wanted to say a big thank you!
You boiled that down to understandable better than anything else I've seen or read.
Ive been to a DBT behavior class at the VA Hospital and it helped me from getting out of deep depression and anxiety...Especially in the state of America today...Ive seen people freaking out about petty situations that, to me, are easily taken in stride..The CBT is the next step that I can try...Thanks for sharing the video. 👌😎
DBT is a more structured form of CBT. I would continue with the DBT.
@@DivergentIntuition Exactly. I've been told that CBT is actually a prerequisite for DBT, although this hasn't been a universal approach to handling them from what I understand.
I’m just starting DBT group therapy. I’m not sure how it will help.
CBT and good balance of medication made a huge difference in our house! My son has better tools for dealing with overwhelming emotions and I have a better understanding of how to communicate with him and what I'm doing that may make his life harder.
I don't think I could overstate the difference in how things are at home, at school. It took a couple years of work, but it was beyond worth it.
i was offered CBT here in the UK as the only therapy available within our National Health Service, it was terrible... I attended 2 sessions and told them it made me feel worse. They basically told me everyrhing was my fault and I need to try harder... the therapist had no clue about ADHD either.
NHS mental health in the uk is so freaking garbage man, i've been put on a waiting list for an adhd test and its literally apparently 18 months to 2 years 🤦♀️
After a life time of NHS let downs, I'm lucky enough to have private healthcare through work .... I did try NHS mental health once .... they asked how mum dying made me feel .... like seriously dude? wtf do u think?
@@mishiak depends very much on your location, have you looked into using the "Right To Choose" within the NHS?
Thank you for the nuances in the video, and indicating that the right therapist, and a collaborative approach are critical. And thank you for mentioning the notions of gaslighting and invalidation that can take place if the therapy is not done well, or if it’s not based on testing hypotheses. I’ve been reading about CBT and neurodivergence, and it’s rarely mentioned. Your video is clear, and more nuanced.
Cbt
1. Recognize cognitive distortions
2. Structured and goal oriented
3. Focuses on present than past
4. Collaborative
I appreciate that you put out such amazing content. It is a wonderful way to also share these videos with others who may need a little boost now and then, I definitely do! Dealing with adult adhd and anxiety is exhausting and sometimes I just need a reminder that I'm better than this and start fighting again! Hence why I have small busrts of productivity and long periods of doing nothing. It just hasn't cemented into a routine yet and until it does, I will forget to do it!!!
I tried CBT and ACT, and both didn't do anything for me because it turned out I had borderline personality disorder. DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) did FREAKING WONDERS for me. CBT and ACT, as this video describes, focuses more on the cyclical thought processes we go through during emotional distress. But my level of emotional distress was so high and unmanageable that I couldn't bring myself down long enough to even consider thinking about my thoughts. DBT deals with the emotional disregulation and intensity itself, and once you have that framework THEN you can go into the cognitive stuff (which we're already beating ourselves up about in the first place).
To summarize, it's not that any of these are worse than the others; it's that each is catered to a certain issue. If you're someone who has mood swings here and there but are generally regulated, CBT and ACT may do wonders for you. But if you're someone whose emotions are so intense it physically hurts, your mind shuts down, and you start astral projecting, I definitely highly suggest DBT.
you constantly explain to me so many things about me. the reason i don’t understand the concept of boundaries is because i have always had mine. i have never understood CBT because i taught this to myself years ago.
before i had therapy my self view was so low as can be. one of the few things i don't like going in debt about. but . CBT and therapy in general. really dug it back up and within 1 and a half year i went from almost daily self harm fantasies to a entire year of barely any deppresive weeks i'm happy and its a day night diffrence from how i used to feel. i can never stop recommending it but a good therapist is defnitly important. also your channel is amazing and super informative thank you so much for your amazing work
i feel like this literally came at the time i needed it, i really struggle to regulate my thoughts and emotions and especially right now more than ever so this really helped, thanks
I really enjoy CBT 🤪
Yes, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Good intro to the processes! Last therapist I went to was mixing CBT and Dialectic. Even that was a help because analyzing his techniques helped to distract another brain channel from the feelings enough to augment the methods! I have found, though, that the same reframing suggestions from a most excellent and safe therapist were significantly less helpful than if those same thoughts were applied by a therapist experienced in dealing with the divergent brain! The added level of understanding matters, too! Thanks!!!
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:13 🔄 *Introduction to CBT*
- Definition of CBT: a structured, goal-oriented talk therapy.
- Aims to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression by addressing thoughts and behavior patterns.
- Emphasizes the lack of direct control over feelings but focuses on adjusting thoughts for improvement.
02:33 🔄 *Cognitive Behavioral Models*
- Introduction to the CBT triangle and its components (ABC model).
- Albert Ellis's model with ABC: Antecedent, Belief, Consequences.
- Example scenarios illustrating the impact of beliefs on emotions and behaviors.
04:28 🔄 *Cognitive Behavioral Model for ADHD*
- Addressing core impairments in attention and self-regulation in individuals with ADHD.
- The impact of ADHD on using strategies like calendars and the resulting negative thoughts and beliefs.
- The importance of considering cognitive and emotional aspects in addressing functional impairments.
05:40 🔄 *Key Principles of CBT*
- Overview of different forms of CBT and their principles.
- CBT's structured and goal-oriented sessions, focusing on the present, and being collaborative.
- Caution on the potential misuse of CBT and the importance of a collaborative approach.
06:37 🔄 *Diverse Forms of CBT*
- Introduction to CBT forms like Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT).
- Emphasis on mindfulness, emotional distress tolerance, and acting toward meeting needs.
- Encouragement to explore CBT through provided resources, including a thought log.
07:20 🔄 *Blinkist and Managerial Insights*
- Introduction to Blinkist, an app summarizing non-fiction books, and its features.
- Personal experience with Blinkist and sharing subscriptions through Blinkist Connect.
- Insights into managerial development, focusing on effective delegation and employee development.
Made with HARPA AI
thanks!!!
Hello, I have ADHD-C, MID, Anxiety, Depression and Social Anxiety (those have been diagnosed) I think I have BPD tho…. I’ve been getting help for almost 3 years, nothing has worked. Not DBT, CBT, u name it. Nothing has worked; i still feel the same. About a month ago, my mental health nurse asked my psychiatrist if I could get therapy in the community… and my docs response was “no, I don’t think therapy will be beneficial for ____… I’ve done many different types of therapy with ____ and because of this, it will result in more hopelessness for ____ if it doesn’t work for them, you can pay the money, but it won’t fix anything” it hurts so bad, hearing that, and actually already knowing that I knew there wasn’t help for me. Every time I reach out, I just feel worse, because it won’t help me in anyway, so I just bottle things up, it’s what I’ve been doing ever since I started this new med almost 2 years ago. I do it to protect myself, and to protect others. I just wish there was something for me to do 😢
Please do a video on CBT vs DBT.
I had CBT to help with my anxiety issues. As my therapist told me, the way from a 'negative' experience to your negative thoughts is like a highway, whereas the road to more positive thoughts is a dirt road. Which would you take? It's one hundred times easier and faster to take the highway, so that's where your thoughts go. She also told me that the goal is not to turn the dirt road into a highway. If we could turn it into a local road, that would already be a huge win.
Always so impressed by you videos, and often moved to tears. Thank you Jessica, you are a jewel.
This should be a series! I'd love to see the ADHD benefits from EMDR or art therapy or shadow work or other therapy models.
There have been quite a few articles popping up about how CBT is just gaslighting oneself. I really do not like the fact that CBT can obfuscate the reality of a situation by placing the causes on mental distortions instead of external factors or even internal ones, e.g., poor health.
Good timing as I’ve just started CBT
LOL.
What a lovely intelligent well rounded down to earth woman. Very impressed and inspired thankyou 😊
Schema Therapy (ST) is also very helpful to change your 'ingrained' ways of thinking.
Thankful for your videos! I started watching your videos a year ago when I realized I may have ADHD. This week at 26 years old I was finally diagnosed with combined type ADHD + anxiety! Really excited to get a treatment plan to help me function better. 🎉
I used to be schizoaffective, and CBT is more or less what helped me claw my way out of that. Ultimately, I had to make a choice was I more concerned that the delusions were true or the consequences of being wrong about these faceless monsters and probably wind up in prison or a hospital eventually. It was scary to err on the side of there being no monsters, but over time, it got better. It's amazing how well a simple thing like Occam's Razor can be in solving things like this. The less complicated answer to what was going on was that I was mistaken, rather than pretty much everybody else being wrong about it.
"CBT is everywhere"
my internet ruined brain: "hehehe"
Therapy has helped me so much. I’ve done DBT for trauma and emotion regulation & distress tolerance then CBT for ADHD (you can ask any CBT therapist to do the “Mastering your Adult ADHD” workbook second edition; despite the name, I think it would also work for older kids too). I think you should consider making a video on DBT too.
My short story: I was diagnosed with ADHD 1 year ago this month AND I’m pretty sure I discovered it because I hit a breaking point with family trauma & anxiety about 2 years ago. I started out with DBT (which is a type of CBT!) to address my trauma and anxiety, and I think that was the right way to go. But, after, I was really struggling with ADHD-like procrastination, perfectionism, organization, and a bit of distraction and impulsivity and even though meds help with my motivation, CBT is what has helped with that stuff the most and made me feel in control of my ADHD. I’m very grateful I did DBT first to work through my trauma and anxiety and learn how to regulate my emotions-and that out me in a much better position to problem solve my ADHD
P.S. For DBT, my therapist uses the “DBT Skills Training Worksheets and Handouts” book by Marsha Linehan, also second edition. That book isn’t ADHD specific but it’s been a good DBT book and I think DBT has been inherently helpful for ADHD because I think emotion regulation is helpful for RSD and impulsivity.
I think an important thing with CBT (and a lot of other therapies) is that the person getting the therapy does need to be in a mental state where they CAN start to do work on themselves. I think sometimes people get pushed into therapy in hopes that it will 'solve' whatever issues they have going on, without a huge amount of regard as to whether or not they're actually emotionally ready for that yet, and whether or not they have the emotional wherewithal to get through it, and whether or not they are ready to tackle parts of themselves that they don't/won't like. Therapy is work, and it's hard, and if you're not in a state of mind where you can start that difficult work, it can feel incredibly demotivating and invalidating.
That being said, I think a good therapist is also essential, and can help a client get through that difficult personal work, and be a great motivation for continued improvement. A bad therapist meanwhile, can make things 10x worse if they aren't careful.
I thought this was an older video that I had somehow missed because it was retro style - the book of definitions, the background used, etc. I don’t know whether you pulled one out of the vault that you hadn’t published/ released when you made it or if you went retro for the vibe, but it is - as always - super helpful.
I hope you’re doing well and still enjoying the process of writing your book. When you get 2/3 of the way finished, you’ll want to give up. The second wind that will take you to the finish line is just around the corner. Be one with the little engine that could. You’ll get there! We’re cheering you on!
And thanks for this video! ❤️🏆✨📚🥛🌯🍪‼️
Thanks for this video! I'd like to hear more about what you're learning from your experiences in management and leadership while dealing with ADHD.
Oh gosh haha...sure! I have a lot to say about that...
YES! Please and thank you!
Yes to this from me as well! I just told my boss yesterday I need to transition out of my leadership role, and my ADHD is a giant part of my feeling like I can't do it.
I have been working through a DBT workbook since we have a super long waiting list for groups where I live. CBT seems to be more available but I haven't tried it. I have been told some ppl find it invalidating so I have been sticking with the DBT instead. Both are good therapies as far as I know.
1:21
"But wait there's more!"
I replayed that clip way too many times. LOL
CBT has not been too great for me, but I've heard good things about DBT. If you ever learn anything and make a video on that I'd love to hear about it. I hardly know anything about it
I have ADHD and Autism! Your videos are really helpful!
SUPER GOOD information
I had CBT last year for my OCD, it helped to an extent but my OCD never went away, it just got a bit better but the exposure therapy part of it was certainly useful and I still use it when I see myself spiralling back into certain contamination issues.
I'm about to start CBT again but with a specific focus on my core beliefs, as my negative core beliefs were picked up in my therapy last year and it was recommended I come back to work in them specifically. As a late diagnosed autistic ADHDer my core beliefs are terrible, I have nothing but self-doubt over being "wrong" or "difficult". I'm hoping this next round of therapy helps start to alleviate that.
My diagnostic history goes from anxiety through depression, type II bipolar, to ADHD. I've been through several depression grouos/classes snd several therapists (they keep retiring or moving away).They all shared more of a do-it-yourself version of CBT, i.e. learning to use the thought record to think through the miserable thoughts and feelings. I'm not sure what you all mean about a therapist "using"' CBT and having it feel invalidating. My understanding is that my therapist "uses" it to help me work through my biggest awfuls with gentle reminders of the basic CBT model when Im too messed up to do it myself. i.e. 1. "what are you thinking that makes you feel that way? 2. Is it really true? 3. How do you know? (what evidence do you have that what you're thinking is or isn't true? (List both). 4. Imagine a friend told you they were having these thought/feelings, stemming from some event or series of events. What would you say to them?
Yes, it is very useful to work with a therapist who knows ADHD well. But whoever they are, if you know they are a CBT person, you know that when they say, "wait a minute, is that true? How do you know that?" They aren't telling you you're wrong, because of course your thoughts snd feelings are valid.. Instead they are they are guiding you through or reminding you of how the process works, and letting you know they are confident you are capable of using it.
When I feel lower than low, if I can remember to work my way through the steps, it helps tremendously. personally over the years I have found using a thought record very helpful. When I feel at my worst about everything, the one thing that helps is writing out all the negative thoughts and using the prompts to think my way through.
I don't always think to use it, and its not a magic wand, but when I do it helps a lot.
The only therapist I ever "fired" was the one who said, "well, maybe you ARE isolated and alone" and gave me no tools to deal with that belief.
I was just talking with my therapist about this exact thing today!! You're spoooooky!
Great topic and such a common loop for us. Thanks!!
Done this and it's excellent.
Been doing it for about 6 months, the struggle is real.
Having just started therapy this is incredibly helpful!
Yeah? Are you doing CBT?
@@HowtoADHD More general therapy right now. But once we have got to my route causes we will touch on CBT
I've been watching your channel for a while and once I had made an account I followed. I'm a teen and recently started seeing the phycyatrist I saw when I was little. Now she's going to get me tested. I don't know how it works but I'm excited to see if this is why my brain is a little different.
Problem is. That even in my country where the health system is public. It is very hard to find a competent CBT practitioner with speciality in treating ADHD kind as well. Especially the ADHD brains that also suffer from other chronic conditions.
Hey Jess, it may be worth reaching out to Linus Sebastian who runs Linus Media Group near Vancouver. Linus has ADHD, but also runs a SUPER successful UA-cam media company (dare I say 'empire'). It would be a really interesting interview about how he runs his company of 80+ people, ideas, development, etc, etc, and how his ADHD helps/hinders that. Like his literal inability to see ads on a website due to hyper focus🤣.
But great to see you back for 2023!
I didn't read CBT as I should've