My Ex Lied To Me About The Breakup
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- My Ex lied to me about the breakup. Many times exes are not honest about the breakup and it can be very confusing. In this video, Coach Craig and Coach Victoria discuss a couples story and how lying was a big part of the breakup.
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She drove 60 miles to sleep with another guy during their break up. The way Coach Craig reads that line and the way she used it against the guy, my jaw dropped, and I couldn’t help but laugh at this one. I have empathy for him, I’m laughing at her behavior, not him.
If they swear up and down there is no one else involved, 90 percent chance or more that they are lying.
True. My ex took a cruise with her ex-boyfriend while we were still together. The web of lies she spun would confuse a brain surgeon.
@@Muppetshowz Thank you for the encouragement, although it happened about four years ago sometimes it’s still irks me. I needed that reminder!
My ex broke up with me and told me he was not ready for a relationship. I later found out he reached out to his ex a few days after and got back with him 🤷♂️ shit is twisted when someone does not tell you the truth
My dear Craig, your so funny.. 😂😂 look how good you are reading between the lines.. that's why you are far the best coach!!
11:57...many years ago one of my exes suggested that we "pretend we are total strangers and just roommates" while living together. Within a couple of weeks I found out I was being cheated on. No surprise!!
Mine told me. We have to pretend to be friends. Around her kids then I saw she let another man put his hands on her
@@christopherbullens5494 outrageous but all too typical.
Mine said to pretend he is dead. Even claimed he was mentally ill. Was all a lie. If there is a lesson in this… it’s a reminder to always treat peeps with respect. The truth ALWAYS stands.
Said he didn't want a relationship only to jump into one after dumping me for meeting his parents
Sadly my fiancé of nearly 4 years who is nearly 70 years of age, was not mature enough to breakup honestly and in person. Got informed by by text that he was going back to his soon to be ex-wife (that he’d been separated from for years) and that he didn’t wish to discuss the breakup - as he supposedly had to sit with his feelings 😢
I'm sorry to hear that... if only they were words I could just share with you that would calm your anxiety and make it less painful for you... of course it sounds like a sales pitch for me to say just do the workbooks... it really is that simple but also I can say take walks and breathe deeply. we go through these things as they refine us
At the beginning when coach says “liar” made me laugh so hard. I love this channel so much.
Never, ever get back with an ex after they've been intimate with someone else. It NEVER works out.
usually when avoidant people go and have sex, they are not being intimate at all but just using it as a coping mechanism to temporarily change their emotional state.. it is a sad, desperate attempt
How so? Some people try to use sex as a coping mechanism, but it rarely helps them.
Once a liar always a liar
I was in a stressful period during the relationship with my ex. The week before the breakup I was out of character and a week later she broke up with me. Some of the excuses I take responsibility for. But her two main reasons was that she didn't want to risk my health and wellbeing and that she didn't want to feel alone in the relationship. I accepted it and hopes we could still be friends. However I found out later that she got together with a new guy a week after our breakup. A guy she have known for some months through a computer game she plays, and lives 400 kilometers away. So much for feeling alone in a relationship. That's when I realized he probably have been in the picture for a while and there was probably some emotional bonding between them.
I am now almost 6 months in no contact and I don't want anything to do with her unless she wants to give us another go. But I don't hold any hope.
We knew each other as friends 4 years before our 7 month relationship and during and after the breakup she paid zero attention when I wanted to express my thoughts and my side of the story.
And for her to do that to someone who have been close to her for so many years for someone she have known for some months just shows me what kind of person she is
Awesome for going no contact- you got this! I am in my 1 month, its been 12 days and its been hard. I think it'll take for your ex, it'll take her a while to figure things out. She seems avoidant and isnt acknowledging her inner thoughts and feelings to truly grow and mature as a woman (I am a woman too and hold little regard for other women who don't reflect and learn to respect and acknowledge their own emotions- our emotions can be big but its our own responsibility to learn of ourselves & triggers). She might realise once that "honeymoon" stage is over that you guys held more values and stronger foundations than she has with her new man. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.
Keep on your healing and self reflection journey!
@@Echoday2day hang in there, it will get easier.
I was unfortunately the one who showed avoidant tendencies. She was very loving and caring and secure up until the breakup, then nothing mattered anymore.
I had a hard time talking and expressing feelings (didn't know about attachment theory then) and I was not big on sexy time due to my stress, so I know I did things wrong. She tried to get me to open up but I just couldn't.
However, I loved kissing, hugging and cuddling. Touch and closeness were my love languages. And I was always there for her when she needed me, either if it was practical or emotional.
Sometimes I could swing by her place after work to hug her and be there with her when she felt down. And when she felt better I continued on home to my own place. Considering this was my first ever relationship I still think I did okey.
He should be grateful he dodged the bullet and finding out before marriage and kids
the way the coaches laughed after craig read "she said i love you baby" after the girl cheated 😂
Lots of humor, laughter and smiles in this informative video! 💕 Luv it!
remember, the problem is never the person but it may be behaviors which of course are symptoms of underlying... possibly anxiety 😁 you guys have taught me well
I think every "reason" given for the rapid breakup was an excuse. My friend was present & he was super confused too. I think aside from our argument the breakup was due to my man being very stressed & for whatever reason he didn't want to tell me what was really going on. It has kept me stuck, not knowing & having to guess everything.
why was he confused? Do you think he was hiding something?
@Echoday2day My friend? My friend was present during the breakup & he later told me my ex bf was so subtle about the breakup he thought he just needed a time out. My ex & I share an attachment style so I understood what was happening. My friend is Securely attached & didn't. My friend wasn't hiding anything, on the contrary, he is kinda clueless & said too much and made my already upset ex angrier to the point he dumped me. Not saying it's my friend's fault I shouldn't have had him with me.
We need more streets...
I’m enjoying the banter between the two of you. Still miss Margaret but I’m getting used to this new rapport.
I know he was using the friend zone as an excuse,but there was more behind that,I figured out some of it,plus he did it in a text,not verbally.I hadn't seen him for awhile and when I did he said I don't want to talk about me at all,if you want to talk about you ok,right there I knew he's hiding things and I still don't know anything.Its thirty three days in NC at this day....dead silence and no reach outs 😢😮💯💔
This hit homes so much
maybe she was so avoidant that it triggered his anxiety and then his anxiety drove her to become even more avoidant... and as we know the people that lean towards the avoidant side tend to have no issue with just having sex without feelings which it looks like she got into.. so he might have issues but she probably has a more intense level of issues.. and of course being that they are young... that magnifies it in my opinion
Watch the signs of the beginning of the end. Not many are putting out videos like this so experience in relationship will teach you.
Great way to start my day.
I love Craig he is like a father to me
Nothing ever motivated me more to stay single than the sentence you're going to see each other's boogers
How honest do you think your ex was about the breakup?
She only really told be she has felt single and told me that even thought she knows I never date the same person twice but maybe in the future. Also love isn’t enough. She continued to contact me for about a month after, felt like that was to make her feel better about it. 15 years of friendship and 2.5 years of that in a relationship gone. I’m hurt and my daughter is taking it hard. I’m working on the work books and myself.
Craig
I can write a book here. I'll say this. The little things add up, but they she found things just to use. Some true some not. Gas lighted me etc. It's true, I understand why she was unhappy, I can see why if I was in her shoes, but the lies, deceit, etc from a 39 yr old. If young people do this, it's a potential bad sign for their future relationships.
We spoke 3 yrs ago, after telling you my situation, you actually said my ex sounds disorganized. From her past traumas I'd say your correct. Its best to focus on ourselves. Feel the hurt, improve skills, communication, cape!!! And fix the one person I had control over me. Myself
I found out recently, my ex got married. Just 3 yrs later to the man she started seeing when we just split up. I know they got off to a rough start. It doesn't matter, it's not my issue or my marriage.
At the end of the day, I'm better then ok. Being alone was what I needed in my journey to improvement. I have a scar, lingering pain bc of some nastiness, and I'm grinding..
Thank God I found you on UA-cam. It wasn't an easy start
Happy holidays Mr. Kenneth
I believe he's very honest but I'm so confused and I love him so.😢
I don't think he was honest with me or especially himself. I forgave him & let it go. I just wished I knew wtf happened.
From the reasons my last ex told me two years ago, it sounded weird compared to what really was going on. But it is what it is. I moved on from her a long time ago.
4 years in - then a surprise Big blowup from nowhere . Next, I got ignored no contact . Was doing ok. Month in, by sheer chance, found out thru third party, he had gone overseas ( SanFransico ) approx 2/3 weeks after our blowup - with a woman who has a daughter living there, for a holiday . For a week .
Was taken by surprise by this news. He must of been talking with this woman prior to the major blowup that came out of nowhere.
So torn wheather to break no contact and confront him- about the info I have been enlightened too.
That isn't fair. Tell her to come back when she wants to work on things. Don't be an ultimatum, using your value as a weapon. Not that I don't eat my own words.
You make me laugh 😆
How long are the coaching sessions? This exact situation with this guy happened to me except it was before we moved in together
If you called her to ask about it you didnt stay calm and controlled or you wouldnt have called to ask in the first place. You'd of rationalized you are broken up right now and she has a right to her privacy, and asked your friend to not sharw info like that w you as it isn't your business.
For all the mistakes I made with G I never asked our mutual friend a sibgle question about him. I have commented on my own feelings, but never seeked any information. It isn't my right or my business.
That happened to me once I swear Chris and I were together for two and a half years but when I went back and looked it was only like a year and 8 months I don't really understand and I've never been able to reconcile that time frame
Even he commented we were together for two and a half years so we're both wrong it makes no sense
well.. if once they moved in together, he stopped putting in effort to resist smothering and overwhelming her... 😁 your welcome
These women aint sh$% lol now in days lol be honest at least
Hello Craig I have a question, what if you broke your exes trust by cheating, should I be the one to reach out our should the dumper reach out?
You broke the trust, you broke the relationship. She had all right to walk away. Give time, time. Work on yourself, dig deep as to why you even had the desire TO cheat, change for the better, never do it again, run from temptation, and be OK with the fact that she may never give you another chance. I do believe cheaters can change. But that doesn’t change the fact that the damage was done. There are consequences for everything. And her being out of your life now is one of them. Head up!
@@natali.terrero how much time should I wait before I reach out?
@@natali.terreroI’ve been in no contact for almost a year
@@Anthony_st8te Well to answer your question- you also have to answer questions as to WHY you cheated and HOW you will never ever do that again to someone you love. You HAVE TO CHANGE yourself 1st before you can reach out. Otherwise you're lying to yourself and her again.
So I would have minimum of 3 to 6 months- and you have to put work everyday into yourself to realise how much damage and hurt you caused her. And why you needed to improve and never go back to who you were before
Are you serious? They were broken up. He doesn't get to control her actions while she is single. She also needs to see sincere change from him, too.
What are you talking about?
Are you saying you can just break up, have sex with someone then come back?
Break up each time you decide to have sex with someone else and just bounce back?
Or what are you on about?
Sure, she has a right to sleep around, but he also has a right not to take her back after.
@@andrasziegenham6766 exactly mine did it after 7 years together she got with him 2 weeks.
When she came back I specifically ask that if she got with anyone I would not like to continue and she lied to me.
Wait I'm friends with most of my exes oh oh maybe G is the problem and not me
Red flag.