1. Work on increasing your ‘work surface area’. Play the long game. Put yourself in the situations to increase the opportunity. 2. Replace discipline mindset with love and devotion mindset. 3. Welcome, accept, move through in all emotions, +ve & -ve and learn the lessons, let go and return to Buddha energy and naturally emerge as person. 4. Learning to practice humility. Developing trust outside of ourselves for answers that are outside of us. 5. Create a container for gratitude. What if nothing is going to change, what would I find to love inside this life instead of dissociating from this life busy finding something else. 6. Step fully into your authentic self and letting life autocorrect and getting comfortable with being vulnerable to lose. Getting rejected by people, places and situations that are wrong for you. Letting awkwardness be there.
12:52 4) learn to practice deep humility 15:37 5) Create a container for gratitude 18:07 6) Step fully into yourself and let life auto correct 20:44 7) Accept that you are permanently vulnerable
"There's no such thing as forcing us to fall asleep, all we can do is to create the condition under which sleep is most likely to spontaneously occur for us."
For me personally, it was the last point that struck a chord. I've consistently hated myself for my own vulnerability, but also loved how passionate I am about things, and wished I had more things to love. I'm realizing now that vulnerability is the price you pay for love. And that that's okay. Also, going through these videos of yours (I've binged a few in the past 2 days) kinda remind me that I only stopped being actively traumatized by life circumstances for a year now... I think I'm making pretty good progress given that fact. Thanks for your insight - I hope you're having a good day.
I cannot believe you quoted Henry Miller - and talked about reading the books we have on our shelf. I used worship Miller, and I’ve never heard another soul say anything positive about him! But that quote captures it. Go into life and see the people we meet as heroes - fabulous, creative, mysterious, brave. I paraphrase, of course. But I have become so jaded about people and it’s not serving me! Okay, off to enjoy the day. This is a fab start.
Heidi! Your videos have been getting me out of spirals since I discovered you. Especially your niche video on lying and CPTSD. They are so specific and dense with compassion and information. You lay out an explanation and a path out of the nightmares with Rachel Maddow thoroughness.
That wisdom starting at 18:40 is the best piece of wisdom I have ever heard on being authentic and vulnerable! Do- it, be consistent, let the rejection guide and show you what is not for you. Also allowing the feeling of disgust to guide you- sooo helpful. Thank you Heidi!
I'm going through a tough period of life now where I'm 31 and it's a first time where I'm not in any codependent relations with anyone, as a person with anxious attachment that's NEW. I've already had some major insights, but I still feel lonely and lost. Your channel helps me a lot with changing my view on lots of topics to much healthier ones and also to have just more clarity about what I'm going through and you have really good advises which help me to go through this.
For a second I thought "wait what, did I wrote this comment??" Literally every sentence you wrote is me right now. I am also 31 with anxious attachement style , coming out from a rough period of life and codependency and now with Heidis videos I have the feeling for the first time that I really discover my true self. I wish you speedy recovery stranger! :)
I have a thought experiment I do when I need to focus on gratitude for where my life currently is. I pretend I’m old and on my deathbed taking my final breaths. The universe grants me passage back to this exact moment in my life to relive it from here on. I open my eyes and see that my skin is young again, my long dead pets are alive in this current era, and are now in my lap, happily dozing. My husband is in the other room making breakfast for us. Whatever is actually happing in that moment, from the perspective of having lost all of these things and being many decades older and having the blessing of getting to come back here and do it over again. I am overwhelmed with gratitude each time I do this, and I speak more kindly to the people in my life. I walk through my day more present and aware, and I give my pets extra love and snuggles. I enjoy hobbies I’ve been meaning to get to, even enjoy cleaning and the fact I’m able bodied enough to do that for myself. My life situation is difficult right now, but there are still so many things to be grateful for and to enjoy. Maybe someone else will find this helpful too. 🤍
Learning how to grieve good things I've lost and move on has been the hardest part for me. I tend to ruminate much longer than is healthy. I've never been afraid of being myself and putting myself out there, being vulnerable to rejection. But lately, there's been so MUCH rejection that it's overwhelming me with sadness and self doubt. Thank you for this video. I'm going to keep plugging away. Eventually, something has to click and be sticky.
I have only realized recently I had not felt joy in decades. I working on my journey currently, but can say that since starting I have felt joy. Thanks for making this video. I really appreciate it.
Hey Heidi. I’ve set alerts for your uploads because they always come at the perfect time for me. It’s kind of like having a friend call me over for some one on one pep talk time. Thank you, for what you do. I’m always in awe of you. Sending you the very best!
I just wanted to pop in and say thank you so much for your videos and what you do and who you are. The individual healing that you’re doing is contagious. I feel so lucky to come across your channel and to experience your energy. As someone also on their healing journey and healing from a lifetime of trauma and learning what a truly beautiful amazing opportunity life is- I greatly appreciate your content. You are so wise and eloquent. I really admire your soul and just wanted to share my gratitude. Your videos have brought me companionship, comfort, encouragement, and knowledge to help me along my journey. What a gift! You are making the world a better place and inspiring me to do the same! Sending you all the good vibes and love! ❤☮️🤗
I dont know what it is, but your content is always so aligned with what im going through in life. The words in this video is exactly what i need to hear right now. Thank you.
Heidi, this was EXACTLY the message I needed to hear, thank you so much. All of your videos have resonated but this one has just 'clicked' something into place in my head. I've spent months hiding away at home, down to the last of my savings, telling people I'm fine when I'm really not. Putting off life, keeping people at bay. But now realising I had too much time with my own thoughts, thinking I was working on myself by watching helpful content and journaling etc...but that actually, I've been stuck in my own head. The things I've developed irrational fears of, including previous favourites such as going to festivals, as well as getting back out into the workplace after a 7 month 'mental break' - are in fact exactly the things I need to start feeling better by serving as distractions. I'm a woman in her early forties who by default cares about her appearance and is known to be very hardworking and sociable, and I worked hard my whole life to keep one step ahead of my adhd and avoidant attachment issues...but I ran out of steam I think, and allowed them to get the better of me early this year. I don't quite know how I got myself into this toxic spiral other than exhaustion of life - a life that is no more busy or stressful than any other childless woman. I really, really appreciate your empathetic approach and totally fresh perspective. You're helping me in ways I won't allow my friends and family to. Thanks again and take care of you too. X
Thank you for existing and sharing all of your learnings with us. You literally have no idea how much you’re helping & inspiring me and other people. Thank you, really, from the bottom of my heart, for doing what you do and for existing in this world :((( I hope life gives you back all the love and joy that you give out. 💞
Thanks Heidi… for all that you do. Watching your video this morning brought back a flood of memories of a profound loss I experienced. Not “just” a dog, my dog, Sam, was my soul dog. Sometime after he died, I found this passage below and it is changing the way I view grief. But you are so right, if you love something, you’re already vulnerable. ❤️ You don’t move on after loss, but you must move with. You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster you first thought her to be. She is love. And she will walk with you now, stay with you now, peacefully. If you let her. And on the days when your anger is high, remember why she came, remember who she represents. Remember. Grief came to you my friend because love came first. Love came first. DONNA ASHWORTH
Wow Heidi! I have shrunk my life to avoid being vulnerable to losing things and people I love! From here in Tasmania to yourself, you've helped me see things immensely differently at a time I needed to grow. Thank you!
I had never heard of shrinking yourself/playing small until a month ago. Something clicked from her videos and a few others and it's just mindblowing how much I'm changing things for myself. Life feels so much easier when not actively playing small!
Heidi, thank you for this! I’m stuck in an INFP loop, and your book and this video has helped me see a way out of this stuck place… I pray that I can change my mindset and finally grow again!
This is *exactly* what I needed to hear. I've been thinking about how to bring child like play in my life since I didn't get to do that as a child. Could you do a video on that eventually?
@18:08 - Problem with being genuine is that people don't like to hear the truth unless it's sugar coated (and we all know sugar is bad for you). Talking about the problems, flakiness and pointing out where the world is skewed does not send "good vibes". So, there's no other way of communicating these ideas and be yourself if it's not in a "oh, goodie" vibes. And I can understand that. So, people leave things/thoughts to themselves.
just wanted to let you know that your channel has grown in me alot and I'm sincerely thankful to have found you because I've encountered the same internal problems and blockages that I couldnt point the finger to no matter how far away from my country I'd move or how drastic i'd try to change my ego or outter appearance. My journey has just begun,I still got a ton of baggage I need to sort and get rid off eventually but finally I'm being given the green light I needed to bite the bullet and seriously embrace fundamental change for the good. Saying thank you is the absolute least I can do but just know that the gratefulness comes from my heart.
I smiled when you told about the note you hung up to remind you always. At a time when I was super dissociated I wrote a note to myself saying "There's always more to things, you forget" and hung it up to see it in front of me. I love you Heidi for your well-articulated content and on point topics ❤
big hell yea for increasing luck surface area. i do my routine every morning mainly bc it increases my chances of feeling way better. i don't always know if it will work when i get up feeling awful, but maybe if I do the routine, who knows, might go away. and it usually works, feels great every single time. systemic frequent consistency bypassing willpower eyyy
I just wanted to say thanks for all the hard work, effort and wisdom you provide. Your channel is truly unique in the self-development space. I've learnt so much
Yes Heidi...love life today not tomorrow. Your discourse reminds me that, as we are searching for God, it is very importmant to know that God is looking for us as well, and that we should allow God into our lives, to discover us. Your wisdom is beautuful Heidi, because it is the result of wherewithal.
I aspire to the bravery it takes to face and be so clear on the torrent of feelings that surge through our lives! You've got it and THANK YOU for sharing it!
Damn! Perfectly timed video. A short testimonial for the past year of watching your videos. My eyes water thinking how much you've helped me, especially because you speak from the same generation as I. A life I had led for decades had recently imploded. My risky attempts at making connection with a broader group of people failed. The risk destroyed a relationship with someone who mutually wanted to build a family with me. My trauma healing came too late to save said relationship. I just didn't have the toolbox or cleared lens. And, yet at the same time for my friend group, the same healing built my self-esteem up to where it made no sense for me to remain in it since we enabled unhealthy habits for one another. And, now that I suddenly wasn't enabling, I was seen as hostile like an ant being placed in the wrong colony. For a long time, I ignored who I was in my head and pretended to be meaner than I was. For laughs. To be accepted. When really, I was sweeter. More considerate. Less of a jokester. Not big on slang. The biggest influences in my life have either passed away or went down dark paths. As the old story goes, my failures in life and my age is weighing on me. I don't know if I have it in me to start all over if the cycle of life is just this. My tourist orientated city isn't big on connection, it's drinking and casinos. And with that, one could probably guess where I live. I was spiraling again today. But your video reminded me to keep building my garden and to keep my doors open, even if it's painful sometimes. The dreams I held since childhood, I'm not sure will happen anymore. I don't know if I'll have a family of my own. Or be in a circle of friends that functioned like a found family again. I don't know what I want to be, but it's one day at a time. It's accepting my losses. Accepting the negative feelings that come with it and as your words say, allow life to teach you. That it's okay to just be at times. That it's okay to take from life and allow it to give.
It took me four years to do just this. My authentic persona came back out. Now I love my life with gratitude and joy. I am proud and free and I set myself challenges that I could not do before. Then I congratulate my self. Yes there are certain vulnerabilities there and I have learned to protect them in a dignified way. When you feel such joy you real.y don't need other people,e I find because the joy of life excites me so much I am busy enjoying it everyday. Walks in nature with my dog in the forest feeds my soul with pure energy. You are the best❤
Heidi, even though I don't know you in person I can say I feel you very close to my heart and am grateful for all the things I have learned through the work you put together, so elloquently and clearly. Sometimes this work crosses over with other tools, even on the spiritual or esoteric level, and that's when I realize, we are all human, we all have a right to be in this universe, and we are here to enjoy and be part of each other's lives. That's something that's become clear to me after watching your videos for some time now. So much more to see and experience! Thanks for all that!
Hello Heidi😊 First of all let me deeply thank you for what you do. It really gives me hope and guidance❤ Even though I resonate with so many tips that you give I struggle to integrate some of them. The two themes that I always stumble upon are: 1. When should I go out of my comfort zone to pursue something and when should I be vigilant towards myself and protect me. I feel like both are important and many times I feel like whatever I choose leaves me lacking. 2. Many times desires conflict: e.g. living on the countryside makes me calm and connected while the city or even times stress me out a lot. Yet on the countryside it's sooo hard to connect with people 'cause there just aren't many oportunities. I've spent countless hours in forums and zoom meetings ,about topics I enjoy, trying to get my intellectual and social fix, yet it's not satisfying this deep desire. If I make a post it sometimes takes days or weeks for someone to answer and it stays shallow. I learned that deep engagement requires meeting up in person. And those are reoccuring desires. So I can't just say I live in the city for a while until I got enough of what I need and then go into nature. How do I prioritize and care for myself in such circumstances? Any advice? If somebody took the time to read this - thank you, really. Means a lot. All the best Ceus
Recovering addict here. I tried to strong-arm myself into feeling happiness for a long time... This video is fantastic, your channel and your work is fantastic. Thank you for all the ways you enable people to help themselves!
This episode is in my tool box of fav podcasts/videos ever!! Thank you!!! Forever grateful you are doing this work and we get free access to amazing humans like you❤️❣️🙏🏻 be well
This is the most feel Good video. I come back to it again and again, just for the joy of seeing little things that I can do more, and know it’s possible to build the kind of life I want.
One thing that has helped me is being willing to see the bigger picture. Your videos have taught me that I'm a survivor, NOT a victim. Thank you so much.
I just stumbled across your channel this afternoon and I have instantly felt a connection. The videos I’ve watched so far felt like I had talked to you in the past and you prepared the videos for me. I am in the autumn of my life and am just now realizing that no one is coming to save me and no matter how much I love someone, they cannot give me what I need. I am journaling now, and am preparing to do inner child and shadow work. Your videos and your mindsets are just awesome.
Heidi I just want to say thank you so much. Your uploads are priceless and having access to them free of cost is something I'm really grateful for. All your videos have helped me with introspection and acceptance. Thank you once again. (This was like a great gift for my birthday today from an older sister)
Um. Between you, and program, and this week’s reading, I’m getting the message. Your videos are wonderfully aligned with what’s on my own personal plate! So grateful. (7th step, Romans 7:15-25) Humility, wider love, Higher Power, openness….the list goes on! Will watch again.
Hello Heidi, I'm (relatively) new here but I've already watched a whole load of your videos including just about all of the Attachment playlist...it was a friend of mine who insisted I try to figure out my attachment style (I'm clearly on the anxious side) but your videos which really gave me insight into what it means and what I can do about it... so thanks so much for that. The social network part of my life which I love is being a swing dancer... I realize now that it's the "hustle for worthiness"* which pushed me to get really good at it (I now teach it) but it's great for personal and physical connection especially for someone with touch as a love language. It has led to dating... and at least the unrequited crushes are based on real connection and not totally just limerence. For someone who tends to disassociate into fantasy and has a very mental rather than manual job (physics professor), dancing really puts me in the moment.
Hi Heidi, thanks so much for this video. I had to do some soul searching just to be able to see your video because I felt uncomfortable since the beginning. So I paused, sat in my feelings and found part of me felt unworthy of living a full thriving life. After some shadow work, I managed to be at peace and could go back to your videos. I'm happy to see that your strategies are the same I have started using. I'm so glad to know I'm on the right track. I particularly resonated with devotion instead of discipline. As an ENFP, I always felt shame over my lack of discipline (which miraculously resolved whenever I was passionate about my activity). Therefore it is big for me to give me grace and acknowledge I should focus more whether or not this is really something I want to commit to instead of beating myself over the fact I could hardly keep up with an activity I didn't really enjoy or care for. Thanks again. It's amazing that you are this practical in subjects that are usually philosophical and are able to provide real guidelines. I love you ❤
Thanks Heidi, I’ve been listening to your videos for like 1.5 years now. You’re putting out really good, comprehensive, and valuable content for free! It’s been a very helpful resource. Thank you! I’m wondering if you can do any more videos on the topics (in no order, I’m just interested/ would find relevant): ENFJs, fulfilling your needs through networks / activities that aren’t from romantic partnerships, re-engaging with passions or creativity if you’re going through a depressive episode or generally feel dissociative or have lost your hyperfocus; how to get more quality out of your time.
Thanks, Heidi. You are one of these rare people, I personally am able to follow und likely understand, what you mean and what you want your visitors to understand or get a feeling for. Been an INTJ-T most of my life, it had been sometimes hard for me, to find or negotiate a "communication protocol" to members of my family or partners :-) I failed so often... tons of miscommunications... For a logical driven kind of person like me, I was not always able to understand, why it failed. I had no good access to my feeling. Looked for and found professional help in my life, and I'm learning. Your language, the refreshing and easy accessible way you present your knowledge and your lovely kind and charisma are making it easy, are enabling me, to understand, recognize, smile, laugh at myself, learn to accept myself as I am, and hopefully love myself... more and more. It is a permanant process indeed. Thanks a lot for your work. Take care. Love to give love back to you! Greetings to Canada from Germany Gerhard
These video in conjunction with the Thais Gibson Personal Development School are helping me change my attachment style and heal some childhood traumas. I honestly love you Heidi
The first point about planting seeds for luck and playing the long game also forces us to enjoy the process and not just wait for the end result to change our lives magically.
What a great video. Condition number three is what have been working on for such a long time, and I'm allowing myself to grieve the past, and feel the present. For years I've thought I was anxiously attached, and through a more recent video of yours, where you shared how we can switch between anxious and avoidant, I realized, that's me! And I'm not in touch with my emotions just because I can talk about emotions. My mother is avoidant, my father absent, my sister was violent. So much pain inside that I tried to avoid, for good reason. Condition four, is where I am now, realizing for how long I've been in this state. I want to feel. I want to allow myself to be humble. I want to experience life in all it's emotion.
Excellent.. I Especially love the holistic framework of "Love and Devotion". and also, as hard as it is, to integrate all of our feelings and emotions...for proper discernment ..
I'm grateful that I can read and that theres an abundance of awesome books and information to bring me to life! Thank you Heidi! I guess this is the soution to my problems!
Heidi, i am coming out of a challenging (?) phase of my life where I did a lot of healing work. I feel impatient to start the next phase of my life. This video comes in well for me, because it tells me to prepare by "setting up the right conditions" for a great life to happen, vs forcing things to happen. Much love.
Adding to this, last point is critical. Like you mentioned, a certain amount of vulnerability and discomfort is absolutely essential for an expansive, full, adventurous life. However, my "two years ago" version did not have a wide emotional range and had significant inability to calm myself down after anything that seemed "risky" or "new information". Learning to accept nervousness as "good nervousness" and not having it transform to crippling anxiety is a learning curve.
Step fully into yourself and let your life autocorrect. This really resonates especially after reading The Courage to Be Disliked which comes from a very different place to what seems to be the conventional western viewpoint on trauma healing, but really complements it like a glove.
I don't think anybody thinks I'll do this and by the end of the day I'll have what I want. I've been showing up in the areas that I want to develop for 10 years and still don't have friends in those areas. I am happier because I spend my time doing what I like doing instead of what I don't like doing, but just showing up doesn't get you friends or connections either and I think it's important that we're all truthful about this. You can do all this inner work and take steps to make social connections and it might not work. The inner work will work, but the social connections might not.
Your videos always hit so deep. Thank you for shining a light for me Heidi 🙏 You touch on absolutely everything I’m learning, experiencing, and moving through in my life right now. It’s so healing having a vocabulary to discuss and process very complex experiences and traumas and to be given hope that I can live more wholly one day at a time - thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️🩹 the work you are doing is so important 🙌
That was a most enjoyable 20 minutes with my walk. You are helping me so very much, one insightful, heartfelt video at a time. I am sharing this with my children. Thank you Miss Priebe.
Your point about letting the world ( others) show you a thing or three - I think if it as getting out of my head, and letting another in there for a while- re, a book, your videos, other disciplines of thought. You create a great blueprint to follow this sort of mindset with your you tube offerings.
Something that came up for me is that I have noticed lately how to be available for people if I want to. Being chronically shy interactions can stay at a habitual level of pleasantries, and small talk 99.99% of the time. But with just momentary self-control, and overcoming automatic defensive reactions, it's possible to stay with people and enjoy more authentic connections.
Hi Heidi. I absolutely love your videos. You are helping me overcoming my traumas and other psychological and emotional issues in life. I just came from a very traumatic break-up. He was my first boyfriend. Honestly, it's been a year since that break up and people are expecting me to have a boyfriend now. I get tried explaining or saying not now because I am still on my healing stage and some are pushing me to date while what I want is to make my self better and be this secured attached person before I date again. I have a career problems because I quitted from my previous job who gave me a traumatic experience also. I was overload, overworking and my salary is below minimum. My history is that I came from a broken family and I grew up living along at the age of 12 so I have a lot of traumatic experiences in life. I want to stop the self pity, feeling shame and all sorts of negative emotions and perceptions and I want to love my life. I have been isolating from people to the extent that I don't want to see them at all and I prefered to lock myself in my room. This is not healthy I know and I want to get out from this. The problem is if I see people, I am sweating and palpitating. Can I request you to make a video how to deal with people who keeps pestering me about my career and love life? What are the better response if ever I will encounter these kind of people.
1. Work on increasing your ‘work surface area’. Play the long game. Put yourself in the situations to increase the opportunity.
2. Replace discipline mindset with love and devotion mindset.
3. Welcome, accept, move through in all emotions, +ve & -ve and learn the lessons, let go and return to Buddha energy and naturally emerge as person.
4. Learning to practice humility. Developing trust outside of ourselves for answers that are outside of us.
5. Create a container for gratitude. What if nothing is going to change, what would I find to love inside this life instead of dissociating from this life busy finding something else.
6. Step fully into your authentic self and letting life autocorrect and getting comfortable with being vulnerable to lose. Getting rejected by people, places and situations that are wrong for you. Letting awkwardness be there.
12:52 4) learn to practice deep humility
15:37 5) Create a container for gratitude
18:07 6) Step fully into yourself and let life auto correct
20:44 7) Accept that you are permanently vulnerable
Your uploads are prophetic!
God sent
"There's no such thing as forcing us to fall asleep, all we can do is to create the condition under which sleep is most likely to spontaneously occur for us."
For me personally, it was the last point that struck a chord. I've consistently hated myself for my own vulnerability, but also loved how passionate I am about things, and wished I had more things to love. I'm realizing now that vulnerability is the price you pay for love. And that that's okay.
Also, going through these videos of yours (I've binged a few in the past 2 days) kinda remind me that I only stopped being actively traumatized by life circumstances for a year now... I think I'm making pretty good progress given that fact.
Thanks for your insight - I hope you're having a good day.
I cannot believe you quoted Henry Miller - and talked about reading the books we have on our shelf. I used worship Miller, and I’ve never heard another soul say anything positive about him! But that quote captures it. Go into life and see the people we meet as heroes - fabulous, creative, mysterious, brave. I paraphrase,
of course. But I have become so jaded about people and it’s not serving me! Okay, off to enjoy the day. This is a fab start.
Heidi! Your videos have been getting me out of spirals since I discovered you. Especially your niche video on lying and CPTSD. They are so specific and dense with compassion and information. You lay out an explanation and a path out of the nightmares with Rachel Maddow thoroughness.
Nice to see this new coinage. Love how language evolves!!!
No fr fr her and a handful of other content creators on here have straight up 100000% changed my life in less than a freakin month!
What other content creators? 🤍
@@Rm47712 which content creators? Would love to check them out 😊
She can really articulate our feelings. There’s no way she is not flicted with the same problems
That wisdom starting at 18:40 is the best piece of wisdom I have ever heard on being authentic and vulnerable! Do- it, be consistent, let the rejection guide and show you what is not for you. Also allowing the feeling of disgust to guide you- sooo helpful. Thank you Heidi!
I'm disgusted with everything tho 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I'm going through a tough period of life now where I'm 31 and it's a first time where I'm not in any codependent relations with anyone, as a person with anxious attachment that's NEW. I've already had some major insights, but I still feel lonely and lost. Your channel helps me a lot with changing my view on lots of topics to much healthier ones and also to have just more clarity about what I'm going through and you have really good advises which help me to go through this.
For a second I thought "wait what, did I wrote this comment??" Literally every sentence you wrote is me right now. I am also 31 with anxious attachement style , coming out from a rough period of life and codependency and now with Heidis videos I have the feeling for the first time that I really discover my true self. I wish you speedy recovery stranger! :)
I have a thought experiment I do when I need to focus on gratitude for where my life currently is. I pretend I’m old and on my deathbed taking my final breaths. The universe grants me passage back to this exact moment in my life to relive it from here on. I open my eyes and see that my skin is young again, my long dead pets are alive in this current era, and are now in my lap, happily dozing. My husband is in the other room making breakfast for us. Whatever is actually happing in that moment, from the perspective of having lost all of these things and being many decades older and having the blessing of getting to come back here and do it over again. I am overwhelmed with gratitude each time I do this, and I speak more kindly to the people in my life. I walk through my day more present and aware, and I give my pets extra love and snuggles. I enjoy hobbies I’ve been meaning to get to, even enjoy cleaning and the fact I’m able bodied enough to do that for myself. My life situation is difficult right now, but there are still so many things to be grateful for and to enjoy. Maybe someone else will find this helpful too. 🤍
This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
I love this!!! Thanks for sharing!
I found it SO HELPFUL. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING ❤
Love this 💗
I love this too but are the things you go back and enjoy in this thought experiment things you actually have or are they a part of the experiment?
Learning how to grieve good things I've lost and move on has been the hardest part for me. I tend to ruminate much longer than is healthy. I've never been afraid of being myself and putting myself out there, being vulnerable to rejection. But lately, there's been so MUCH rejection that it's overwhelming me with sadness and self doubt. Thank you for this video. I'm going to keep plugging away. Eventually, something has to click and be sticky.
Are you an INFP?
@@peacenquiet77, I have no idea.
I have only realized recently I had not felt joy in decades. I working on my journey currently, but can say that since starting I have felt joy. Thanks for making this video. I really appreciate it.
Hey Heidi. I’ve set alerts for your uploads because they always come at the perfect time for me. It’s kind of like having a friend call me over for some one on one pep talk time. Thank you, for what you do. I’m always in awe of you. Sending you the very best!
With gratitude, the amount of healing I’ve experienced listening to your videos. I can’t thank you enough. Bless.
I just wanted to pop in and say thank you so much for your videos and what you do and who you are. The individual healing that you’re doing is contagious. I feel so lucky to come across your channel and to experience your energy. As someone also on their healing journey and healing from a lifetime of trauma and learning what a truly beautiful amazing opportunity life is- I greatly appreciate your content. You are so wise and eloquent. I really admire your soul and just wanted to share my gratitude. Your videos have brought me companionship, comfort, encouragement, and knowledge to help me along my journey. What a gift! You are making the world a better place and inspiring me to do the same! Sending you all the good vibes and love! ❤☮️🤗
This is one of the best collections of life advice ever made. And honestly I wish more UA-camrs would talk about authenticity in great detail.
I dont know what it is, but your content is always so aligned with what im going through in life. The words in this video is exactly what i need to hear right now. Thank you.
I feel the same. It’s like Divine intervention. Amazing🙏🙏💖
Heidi, this was EXACTLY the message I needed to hear, thank you so much. All of your videos have resonated but this one has just 'clicked' something into place in my head. I've spent months hiding away at home, down to the last of my savings, telling people I'm fine when I'm really not. Putting off life, keeping people at bay. But now realising I had too much time with my own thoughts, thinking I was working on myself by watching helpful content and journaling etc...but that actually, I've been stuck in my own head. The things I've developed irrational fears of, including previous favourites such as going to festivals, as well as getting back out into the workplace after a 7 month 'mental break' - are in fact exactly the things I need to start feeling better by serving as distractions. I'm a woman in her early forties who by default cares about her appearance and is known to be very hardworking and sociable, and I worked hard my whole life to keep one step ahead of my adhd and avoidant attachment issues...but I ran out of steam I think, and allowed them to get the better of me early this year. I don't quite know how I got myself into this toxic spiral other than exhaustion of life - a life that is no more busy or stressful than any other childless woman. I really, really appreciate your empathetic approach and totally fresh perspective. You're helping me in ways I won't allow my friends and family to. Thanks again and take care of you too. X
Thank you for existing and sharing all of your learnings with us. You literally have no idea how much you’re helping & inspiring me and other people. Thank you, really, from the bottom of my heart, for doing what you do and for existing in this world :((( I hope life gives you back all the love and joy that you give out. 💞
Thanks Heidi… for all that you do. Watching your video this morning brought back a flood of memories of a profound loss I experienced. Not “just” a dog, my dog, Sam, was my soul dog. Sometime after he died, I found this passage below and it is changing the way I view grief. But you are so right, if you love something, you’re already vulnerable. ❤️
You don’t move on after loss, but you must move with. You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster you first thought her to be. She is love. And she will walk with you now, stay with you now, peacefully. If you let her. And on the days when your anger is high, remember why she came, remember who she represents. Remember. Grief came to you my friend because love came first. Love came first.
DONNA ASHWORTH
Wow Heidi! I have shrunk my life to avoid being vulnerable to losing things and people I love!
From here in Tasmania to yourself, you've helped me see things immensely differently at a time I needed to grow. Thank you!
I had never heard of shrinking yourself/playing small until a month ago. Something clicked from her videos and a few others and it's just mindblowing how much I'm changing things for myself. Life feels so much easier when not actively playing small!
Heidi, thank you for this! I’m stuck in an INFP loop, and your book and this video has helped me see a way out of this stuck place… I pray that I can change my mindset and finally grow again!
Thank you for being able to relay the truths in a way that one doesn’t feel flattened by… almost relieved to find one’s way out of the dark. 🎉
The gratitude container is life changing. Yes I love every word ♥️ you’re amazing
This is *exactly* what I needed to hear. I've been thinking about how to bring child like play in my life since I didn't get to do that as a child. Could you do a video on that eventually?
@18:08 - Problem with being genuine is that people don't like to hear the truth unless it's sugar coated (and we all know sugar is bad for you). Talking about the problems, flakiness and pointing out where the world is skewed does not send "good vibes". So, there's no other way of communicating these ideas and be yourself if it's not in a "oh, goodie" vibes. And I can understand that. So, people leave things/thoughts to themselves.
Your content is GREATLY APPRECIATED ‼️ Thank you
The part at the end about being willing to miss out on stuff is what got me.
Heidi, you are saving my life. This message about being vulnerable and living as your authentic self is resonating with me right now. Thank you.
just wanted to let you know that your channel has grown in me alot and I'm sincerely thankful to have found you because I've encountered the same internal problems and blockages that I couldnt point the finger to no matter how far away from my country I'd move or how drastic i'd try to change my ego or outter appearance.
My journey has just begun,I still got a ton of baggage I need to sort and get rid off eventually but finally I'm being given the green light I needed to bite the bullet and seriously embrace fundamental change for the good.
Saying thank you is the absolute least I can do but just know that the gratefulness comes from my heart.
I smiled when you told about the note you hung up to remind you always. At a time when I was super dissociated I wrote a note to myself saying "There's always more to things, you forget" and hung it up to see it in front of me.
I love you Heidi for your well-articulated content and on point topics ❤
big hell yea for increasing luck surface area. i do my routine every morning mainly bc it increases my chances of feeling way better. i don't always know if it will work when i get up feeling awful, but maybe if I do the routine, who knows, might go away. and it usually works, feels great every single time. systemic frequent consistency bypassing willpower eyyy
You are the best Heidi. You nailed all the points that time and reflection can bring to our consciousness. You are a gem!
"let your life autocorrect around you" - so good! Thank you for this!
I just wanted to say thanks for all the hard work, effort and wisdom you provide. Your channel is truly unique in the self-development space.
I've learnt so much
Your channel is just pure gold. I’ve learned so many life changing things about myself with just a few videos. Thank you 💜
I feel like you made this piece just for me… thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear.
Yes Heidi...love life today not tomorrow. Your discourse reminds me that, as we are searching for God, it is very importmant to know that God is looking for us as well, and that we should allow God into our lives, to discover us. Your wisdom is beautuful Heidi, because it is the result of wherewithal.
I aspire to the bravery it takes to face and be so clear on the torrent of feelings that surge through our lives! You've got it and THANK YOU for sharing it!
Damn! Perfectly timed video. A short testimonial for the past year of watching your videos. My eyes water thinking how much you've helped me, especially because you speak from the same generation as I. A life I had led for decades had recently imploded. My risky attempts at making connection with a broader group of people failed. The risk destroyed a relationship with someone who mutually wanted to build a family with me. My trauma healing came too late to save said relationship. I just didn't have the toolbox or cleared lens. And, yet at the same time for my friend group, the same healing built my self-esteem up to where it made no sense for me to remain in it since we enabled unhealthy habits for one another. And, now that I suddenly wasn't enabling, I was seen as hostile like an ant being placed in the wrong colony. For a long time, I ignored who I was in my head and pretended to be meaner than I was. For laughs. To be accepted. When really, I was sweeter. More considerate. Less of a jokester. Not big on slang. The biggest influences in my life have either passed away or went down dark paths. As the old story goes, my failures in life and my age is weighing on me. I don't know if I have it in me to start all over if the cycle of life is just this. My tourist orientated city isn't big on connection, it's drinking and casinos. And with that, one could probably guess where I live. I was spiraling again today. But your video reminded me to keep building my garden and to keep my doors open, even if it's painful sometimes. The dreams I held since childhood, I'm not sure will happen anymore. I don't know if I'll have a family of my own. Or be in a circle of friends that functioned like a found family again. I don't know what I want to be, but it's one day at a time. It's accepting my losses. Accepting the negative feelings that come with it and as your words say, allow life to teach you. That it's okay to just be at times. That it's okay to take from life and allow it to give.
It took me four years to do just this. My authentic persona came back out. Now I love my life with gratitude and joy. I am proud and free and I set myself challenges that I could not do before. Then I congratulate my self. Yes there are certain vulnerabilities there and I have learned to protect them in a dignified way. When you feel such joy you real.y don't need other people,e I find because the joy of life excites me so much I am busy enjoying it everyday. Walks in nature with my dog in the forest feeds my soul with pure energy. You are the best❤
Another gold nugget that I'm adding to my playlist of life improvement by Heidi 🙌 ❤️
Heidi, even though I don't know you in person I can say I feel you very close to my heart and am grateful for all the things I have learned through the work you put together, so elloquently and clearly. Sometimes this work crosses over with other tools, even on the spiritual or esoteric level, and that's when I realize, we are all human, we all have a right to be in this universe, and we are here to enjoy and be part of each other's lives. That's something that's become clear to me after watching your videos for some time now. So much more to see and experience! Thanks for all that!
It's getting late here but I'm so excited to watch this tomorrow! Self love means sleeping well on time!
Hello Heidi😊
First of all let me deeply thank you for what you do. It really gives me hope and guidance❤
Even though I resonate with so many tips that you give I struggle to integrate some of them. The two themes that I always stumble upon are:
1. When should I go out of my comfort zone to pursue something and when should I be vigilant towards myself and protect me. I feel like both are important and many times I feel like whatever I choose leaves me lacking.
2. Many times desires conflict: e.g. living on the countryside makes me calm and connected while the city or even times stress me out a lot. Yet on the countryside it's sooo hard to connect with people 'cause there just aren't many oportunities.
I've spent countless hours in forums and zoom meetings ,about topics I enjoy, trying to get my intellectual and social fix, yet it's not satisfying this deep desire.
If I make a post it sometimes takes days or weeks for someone to answer and it stays shallow. I learned that deep engagement requires meeting up in person.
And those are reoccuring desires. So I can't just say I live in the city for a while until I got enough of what I need and then go into nature.
How do I prioritize and care for myself in such circumstances?
Any advice?
If somebody took the time to read this - thank you, really. Means a lot.
All the best
Ceus
From 19 minutes to the end you were SPEAKING to my soul. Holy crap. You are profound
Recovering addict here. I tried to strong-arm myself into feeling happiness for a long time... This video is fantastic, your channel and your work is fantastic. Thank you for all the ways you enable people to help themselves!
I swear I always find a new video from you that’s exactly what I need in that moment.
This episode is in my tool box of fav podcasts/videos ever!! Thank you!!! Forever grateful you are doing this work and we get free access to amazing humans like you❤️❣️🙏🏻
be well
Heidi - you have found your purpose. You are inspiringly wonderful at unpacking these mental journies in such a positive light.
The title of this made me tear up
Your videos are such good timing for me so much of the time
This is the most feel
Good video. I come back to it again and again, just for the joy of seeing little things that I can do more, and know it’s possible to build the kind of life I want.
One thing that has helped me is being willing to see the bigger picture. Your videos have taught me that I'm a survivor, NOT a victim. Thank you so much.
I just stumbled across your channel this afternoon and I have instantly felt a connection. The videos I’ve watched so far felt like I had talked to you in the past and you prepared the videos for me.
I am in the autumn of my life and am just now realizing that no one is coming to save me and no matter how much I love someone, they cannot give me what I need.
I am journaling now, and am preparing to do inner child and shadow work. Your videos and your mindsets are just awesome.
Your teachings are priceless n life saving, you're a natural born teacher with beautiful voice and face ❤😊 forever grateful 🙏
Heidi I just want to say thank you so much.
Your uploads are priceless and having access to them free of cost is something I'm really grateful for.
All your videos have helped me with introspection and acceptance.
Thank you once again. (This was like a great gift for my birthday today from an older sister)
Um. Between you, and program, and this week’s reading, I’m getting the message. Your videos are wonderfully aligned with what’s on my own personal plate! So grateful. (7th step, Romans 7:15-25) Humility, wider love, Higher Power, openness….the list goes on! Will watch again.
This is so lovely and helpful, Heidi, thank you so much! Just, thank you so much for sharing your valuable work. Love and light. 💕
An absolute treasure of a person. Thank you, Heidi!
You're so articulate and thorough, and the positive energy you radiate is mind-blowing!
Thank you so much for what you do.
Hello Heidi, I'm (relatively) new here but I've already watched a whole load of your videos including just about all of the Attachment playlist...it was a friend of mine who insisted I try to figure out my attachment style (I'm clearly on the anxious side) but your videos which really gave me insight into what it means and what I can do about it... so thanks so much for that.
The social network part of my life which I love is being a swing dancer... I realize now that it's the "hustle for worthiness"* which pushed me to get really good at it (I now teach it) but it's great for personal and physical connection especially for someone with touch as a love language. It has led to dating... and at least the unrequited crushes are based on real connection and not totally just limerence. For someone who tends to disassociate into fantasy and has a very mental rather than manual job (physics professor), dancing really puts me in the moment.
Hi Heidi, thanks so much for this video. I had to do some soul searching just to be able to see your video because I felt uncomfortable since the beginning. So I paused, sat in my feelings and found part of me felt unworthy of living a full thriving life. After some shadow work, I managed to be at peace and could go back to your videos. I'm happy to see that your strategies are the same I have started using. I'm so glad to know I'm on the right track. I particularly resonated with devotion instead of discipline. As an ENFP, I always felt shame over my lack of discipline (which miraculously resolved whenever I was passionate about my activity). Therefore it is big for me to give me grace and acknowledge I should focus more whether or not this is really something I want to commit to instead of beating myself over the fact I could hardly keep up with an activity I didn't really enjoy or care for. Thanks again. It's amazing that you are this practical in subjects that are usually philosophical and are able to provide real guidelines. I love you ❤
Protect this women at all cost 🙌❤️
Thanks Heidi,
I’ve been listening to your videos for like 1.5 years now. You’re putting out really good, comprehensive, and valuable content for free! It’s been a very helpful resource. Thank you!
I’m wondering if you can do any more videos on the topics (in no order, I’m just interested/ would find relevant): ENFJs, fulfilling your needs through networks / activities that aren’t from romantic partnerships, re-engaging with passions or creativity if you’re going through a depressive episode or generally feel dissociative or have lost your hyperfocus; how to get more quality out of your time.
Thanks, Heidi.
You are one of these rare people, I personally am able to follow und likely understand, what you mean and what you want your visitors to understand or get a feeling for. Been an INTJ-T most of my life, it had been sometimes hard for me, to find or negotiate a "communication protocol" to members of my family or partners :-) I failed so often... tons of miscommunications... For a logical driven kind of person like me, I was not always able to understand, why it failed. I had no good access to my feeling. Looked for and found professional help in my life, and I'm learning.
Your language, the refreshing and easy accessible way you present your knowledge and your lovely kind and charisma are making it easy, are enabling me, to understand, recognize, smile, laugh at myself, learn to accept myself as I am, and hopefully love myself... more and more. It is a permanant process indeed. Thanks a lot for your work.
Take care. Love to give love back to you!
Greetings to Canada from Germany
Gerhard
Thanks Heidi, you have been instrumental in my healing journey❤
These video in conjunction with the Thais Gibson Personal Development School are helping me change my attachment style and heal some childhood traumas. I honestly love you Heidi
The first point about planting seeds for luck and playing the long game also forces us to enjoy the process and not just wait for the end result to change our lives magically.
Simply love your videos ! You the best !! Trust me I have seen many videos 😂
Heidi, your videos speak to so much I have and am now going through. Amazing! Thank You for all you do. 🙏🙏💖
What a great video. Condition number three is what have been working on for such a long time, and I'm allowing myself to grieve the past, and feel the present. For years I've thought I was anxiously attached, and through a more recent video of yours, where you shared how we can switch between anxious and avoidant, I realized, that's me! And I'm not in touch with my emotions just because I can talk about emotions.
My mother is avoidant, my father absent, my sister was violent. So much pain inside that I tried to avoid, for good reason.
Condition four, is where I am now, realizing for how long I've been in this state.
I want to feel. I want to allow myself to be humble. I want to experience life in all it's emotion.
Excellent.. I Especially love the holistic framework of "Love and Devotion". and also, as hard as it is, to integrate all of our feelings and emotions...for proper discernment ..
So glad I found your channel. Your videos on avoidant attachment have given me a whole new level of insight and self-awareness. Thank you.
A huge series of pointers towards life enhancement, thank you
I'm grateful that I can read and that theres an abundance of awesome books and information to bring me to life! Thank you Heidi! I guess this is the soution to my problems!
I shared this in my support group 💖
Thanks for all your uploads lately!!
Heidi, i am coming out of a challenging (?) phase of my life where I did a lot of healing work. I feel impatient to start the next phase of my life. This video comes in well for me, because it tells me to prepare by "setting up the right conditions" for a great life to happen, vs forcing things to happen. Much love.
Adding to this, last point is critical. Like you mentioned, a certain amount of vulnerability and discomfort is absolutely essential for an expansive, full, adventurous life. However, my "two years ago" version did not have a wide emotional range and had significant inability to calm myself down after anything that seemed "risky" or "new information". Learning to accept nervousness as "good nervousness" and not having it transform to crippling anxiety is a learning curve.
love your channel. thank you for not trying to upsell me (yet) ✨ if you ever love anything then youre immediately vulnerable.
Step fully into yourself and let your life autocorrect. This really resonates especially after reading The Courage to Be Disliked which comes from a very different place to what seems to be the conventional western viewpoint on trauma healing, but really complements it like a glove.
I don't think anybody thinks I'll do this and by the end of the day I'll have what I want. I've been showing up in the areas that I want to develop for 10 years and still don't have friends in those areas. I am happier because I spend my time doing what I like doing instead of what I don't like doing, but just showing up doesn't get you friends or connections either and I think it's important that we're all truthful about this. You can do all this inner work and take steps to make social connections and it might not work. The inner work will work, but the social connections might not.
Your videos always hit so deep. Thank you for shining a light for me Heidi 🙏 You touch on absolutely everything I’m learning, experiencing, and moving through in my life right now. It’s so healing having a vocabulary to discuss and process very complex experiences and traumas and to be given hope that I can live more wholly one day at a time - thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️🩹 the work you are doing is so important 🙌
who else is binging on Heidi's videos for 2 weeks now? 🤓
Thank you, Heidi :-)
That was a most enjoyable 20 minutes with my walk. You are helping me so very much, one insightful, heartfelt video at a time. I am sharing this with my children. Thank you Miss Priebe.
Heidi, this is not what I wanted to hear, but I appreciate the message. It's not just clarifying, it's consistent with my experience.
You sound wise and you look smart; you really inspire me. Thanks
Your point about letting the world ( others) show you a thing or three - I think if it as getting out of my head, and letting another in there for a while- re, a book, your videos, other disciplines of thought. You create a great blueprint to follow this sort of mindset with your you tube offerings.
GREAT VIDEO Heidi, really helped 🙏🙏🙏😊
Thank you! I so needed this! You rock! ❤
Something that came up for me is that I have noticed lately how to be available for people if I want to. Being chronically shy interactions can stay at a habitual level of pleasantries, and small talk 99.99% of the time. But with just momentary self-control, and overcoming automatic defensive reactions, it's possible to stay with people and enjoy more authentic connections.
You should release these as audios like a podcast or something. Woukd love to listen on walks.
You appeared in my feed and it feels divinely aligned. Amazing content; thank you.💚
Replace discipline with devotion. Really like that, nice reframe.
Excellent video, I can’t help but think you’ve taken up your wisdom to another level of value. I appreciate you. 🙏🏿
Hi Heidi. I absolutely love your videos. You are helping me overcoming my traumas and other psychological and emotional issues in life. I just came from a very traumatic break-up. He was my first boyfriend. Honestly, it's been a year since that break up and people are expecting me to have a boyfriend now. I get tried explaining or saying not now because I am still on my healing stage and some are pushing me to date while what I want is to make my self better and be this secured attached person before I date again. I have a career problems because I quitted from my previous job who gave me a traumatic experience also. I was overload, overworking and my salary is below minimum. My history is that I came from a broken family and I grew up living along at the age of 12 so I have a lot of traumatic experiences in life. I want to stop the self pity, feeling shame and all sorts of negative emotions and perceptions and I want to love my life. I have been isolating from people to the extent that I don't want to see them at all and I prefered to lock myself in my room. This is not healthy I know and I want to get out from this. The problem is if I see people, I am sweating and palpitating.
Can I request you to make a video how to deal with people who keeps pestering me about my career and love life? What are the better response if ever I will encounter these kind of people.
I needed this video more than anything right now
Commenting for algorithm! People need to see your content!!!!
so much wisdom from such a young lady.
I LOVE that I came across this video! I needed to hear this. Thank you so much!
you are breaking my heart in the most amazing way ❤️ thank you master healer!!
Another absolute gem! Heidi your videos speak straight to my heart and fill me with hope and deeper understanding. Thank you so much.