EXPATS & ALCOHOLISM Part One | Too Much Nightlife & Bars | Addiction | Solutions
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- Опубліковано 11 вер 2024
- Expat Alcoholism is not unusual in Thailand, nightlife, partying, enjoying yourself, and for the many who arrived via the haze of the booze and nightlife, the party and drinking often continues and some develop issues with addiction. It's not easy to speak up or admit to friends or loved ones that it's become out of control and many don't like to admit it to themselves, it's a daunting prospect.
Bangkok's lifestyle can chew you up and spit you out and it's not easy to keep a lid on how much drink you're consuming to wind down. For the ones who can live with it and function, there are always dozens of those who cannot. This video also offers a few suggested solutions to kicking this habit, thanks to the very kind contributors via social media.
Alcoholics Anonymous Thailand: www.aathailand...
Narcotics Anonymous Thailand: na-thailand.org/
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I must apologise for not mentioning AA for those who need assistance.
Alcoholics Anonymous Thailand: www.aathailand.org/
Narcotics Anonymous Thailand: na-thailand.org/
Thank you for mentioning AA I have been a member for 30 years sober for 27 years. If you have a problem with drink these people can help you.
AA is great for those who can accept the framework of religion that is an inseparable part of it. For those who seek a secular approach the online group Moderation Management has helped many, whether they wish to cut down or stop drinking.
@@jamesrindley6215 Right, which is why "religion" is NOT discussed in AA meetings. You are totally free to believe, or not believe in any higher power. Generally speaking, however, the miracle of the fellowship allows people to conclude that they have found the solution for long term sobriety!...and it has NOTHING to do with "religion". You are woefully misinformed!
@@markg.4246 Let's be respectful in our communication. The 12 steps explicitly mention god 4 times. The meetings that I have attended featured group prayer. Now, definitions of what constitutes religion may vary but those factors certainly tick the box for me. I am happy for the people who have found sobriety through AA. I believe it is fundamentally wrong that AA tell people that their way is the only way. It isn't. For people who either can't accept what I see as the religious premises of AA, or who don't find success through the methods of AA, I want to inform you that there are other options.
Every meeting is different all over the world, yes God is mentioned, but the meetings I go to acknowledge that times have changed and you take whatever spiritual meaning you can subtract.
For anyone who is thinking about quitting drinking and is ready to do it. Go for it. It's tough but it's worth it. 6 years for me. Literally the best thing I have ever done for myself. Wish I did it sooner. Vale those who didn't make it.
Almost 2,5 years for me now and totally agree with you. I sleep better, more focused and over all just feeling great.
@Adam Marshall 🤣
I have enormous respect for you.
Good on you Andrew, for getting through it.
Is it possible to sleep without a drink?
When a man learns how much pain he can endure, without using alcohol, it is truly a revelation to him. From then on, life just does not seem so scary.
I don’t understand
@@packageism because you drink to much
You've spoken the best thing ever. I should like to remember tht.
Learnt how resilient I was the hard way... Also led me too stumbling into an old friend, the comfort blanket of substances
Wow. So powerful. Respect to you sir
I've been here now going on 13 years. It's not just the alcohol, it's definitely the combination of it all. It's the escape from the mundane, the beautiful women that tell you everything you want to hear. Most guys that lose their way are the one's that try to reinvent themselves as someone they aren't. Definitely don't come to BKK if you're life is in shambles because as good as life can be here, it can go bad and you'll find yourself far from home in an unideal situation.
So true mate. I’ve been here 9 years now and have met more ex special forces guys than I did when I was in the army. Thailand is busting at the seams with bullshitting farang… and they all drink to excess. Quitting booze is the best thing I ever did.
absolutely wise words!!
This is exactly why I never go where there is a risk of meeting too many farangs. All this stupid and same talk is getting on my nerves. I don't go out at night anyway - since I don't drink, it just makes things worse.
I have been sober for 18 years and it’s the best decision I have made in my life :)
sobriety... is like being high 24/7... I like to wake up, in the same mood I went to bed ... no mood swings... no hang overs... fucking great...
Way to go... Thailand sober is better
Congratulations! I had my 18 year anniversary last year. It is the best life!
@@4862cjc good for you...
@ricardo lorio Stop lying. I have been clean for over 10 years and it's great, but saying it's like being high 24-7 is just a bold faced lie. Nobody would ever get high if they were naturally high while sober.
Life is great and frankly sometimes it sucks, but if you're not clean you don't get to fully experience all of it!
I’m an alcoholic, and I’ve found the best way of getting off it is to ask yourself why are you drinking? And for me it was boredom and a feeling of emptiness in my life.
I took up landscape photography, which I found completely filled the void of what my mind needed, which was stimulation. And gradually I stopped drinking over the course of a couple of years without even trying. I found that I didn’t crave it anymore.
So in conclusion, just look for the route cause of the problem & then try & address it. I know it won’t be the Miracle cure for everyone, but it worked for me. 😊
So true!
I like how you gradually let go of this toxic drug, I think that's key, no need for cults entirely.
If u give up drinking you need to fill that void with something special because let's face it, drinking can be a very enjoyable thing to do.
Rehab and AA worked for me. Educated myself on understanding addiction and listened to those who knew what they were talking about. I'm 20 years sober and a heard of horses couldn't pull me back. I'm 53 today. Best wishes to all.
Many expats in Thailand wake up every morning and ask themselves, "What can I do today?" And the answer is nothing. But they can probably get a drink somewhere and try and find someone in the same boat. You hit the nail on the head at the start of the video Pat. Expats need some sort of steady occupation because the novelties soon wear off.
Gyms , there are many
@@dennispickard7743 Good idea if your in reasonable shape and not too far gone. I'm 76 with medical conditions - any other ideas?
Robert Kimmins chess club , expats club , Power walking , over 60’s yoga class
I run an isometric exercise on fridays in Pattaya , you are more than welcome to come - it’s free . some great guys go. .
@@dennispickard7743 Thanks Dennis - biggest problem for me is living 1,000 km from Pattaya, But all these suggestions are great and keep them coming. I'm sure that they will help some people broaden their outlook and be more positive in their thinking.
@@robertkimmins4004 Have you tried chess, reading - there are some great libraries in Bangkok or just discovering parts of Bangkok or parts of Thailand that you have not yet seen? There are great places in Bangkok away from the bars and tourist areas.
Just seen that some of my suggestions have already been made and you are not in Bangkok. Do you have Internet, there there are great documentaries to watch, online chess, maybe try walking, learning Thai and mixing with the locals. Volunteering is good fun too.
My last drink of alcohol was back in 2016, Sexy Night Bar Nana Plaza, after 50 years of drinking one night I realised I just wasn't enjoying it anymore and saw no point in carrying on. Because I had lost the taste for it, quitting was easy, six years on I've never felt better and wished I had done it sooner.
That's very interesting, I wonder if that happens to many people? I was never a big drinker, but realised I didn't like it around age 30 and haven't been drunk since then.
During my recent 3 month stint in Thailand there were a few times when I felt quite lonely and went to nearby bars just to be amongst other people. It would have been very easy for me to get carried away with socialising every night just to be with people but, after thinking about my sister who was an alcoholic (and who actually died on Christmas Day while I was in Bangkok), I promised myself I'd never go down that route having seen what it can do to people.
I just spent a couple of years in Chiang Mai. I can't drink because it makes me sick. Just one drink makes me break out in a rash and brings my blood pressure up to where my face turns red like a cartoon devil. So I started going out with other women that you don't meet in the bars. The laundress, the seamstress, the waitresses, the hotel clerks. They were amazing people, every one of them. They showed me the country, the temples in the mountains, the national parks, the places where people dance their asses off outdoors. A lot of them gave me their everything, if you get my meaning, repeatedly and often, once the kids were off to bed and sleeping.
Thailand, and all of Southeast Asia is even more amazing when you aren't drinking. The Muslims are right. ALCOHOL SUCKS. ALCOHOL IS POISON!
@Shaun Pierce so sorry for your loss.
@@lizajane1878 thank you, I watched her funeral online as I couldn't get back home in time.
Lived in Japan for a reasonably short time. I became a bar fly. In the moment I was a young Western guy trying to get some. In reality I was dangerously isolated, I was at the bar because the alternative was sitting in a hotel room.
You can DIE from ALKOHOL withdrawls seizures ...
Giving up drinking made me have to face the trauma I was running away from. Therapy and friendships, true friendships not my drinking "friends", got me through it. Been about six years now.
Awesome!! One year sober for me.
Well done.
Drinking friends don’t last.
The best advice I got when I first moved here was from a long time expat who told me to not act like a tourist anymore. And as I've seen since then too many guys move over who are naive due to lack of experience with this sort of place and perhaps also lacking in experience with women and they're vulnerable to the excesses of Thailand. Because, regardless of age, it can be the best times of your life or end up being soul crushing. Engage in quality activities like staying active with working out or leaning the language and it can be amazing. Spend it in the bars everyday and the outcome will be very different.
Gym, suntan, protein, fruit, work, purpose, friendships. That's all a man needs.
It’s much easier said if you don’t have mental health issues . Some people need more extreme things in life to feel something that moves them .
@@miserycodebeats1722purpose. It doesn't get more extreme than that
Hahahaha
Alcoholism is not a Valium deficiency
I ran a bar and restaurant in Koh Samui. Ended up in hospital as was burning the candle at both ends. Got a regular job and a normal life got married with 3 kids and moved back home. Would have died young if I continued that lifestyle. A lot of expats who had pensions end up drinking themselves to death through sheer boredom.
Well done Sir....I ve been to Koh Samui first time 1973. The Hotel charged 20 Baht a Night and sometimes Farangs chared a Room to "save" money. The Owner of the Hotel owned a old VW ("old" already 1973). I stayed there a couple of month and my "job" was to approach Farangs who arrived with the Ferry Boat (6 hrs journey) from Song Khla and show his wife how to make western breakfast. I moved then on to Vientiane/Laos and run a Bar...the previous owner /Vietnamese) had to leave as the Communist (Pathet Lao) was slowly taking over
I've said it before and I'll say it again, self discipline is a must in Thailand.
It goes without saying for sure.
Absolutely. No one will ever tell you “no” or that you’ve had too much of anything.
If you have an addiction, Thailand will eventually consume you if you can’t get ahold of it.
Everywhere.
I am an English born Australian citizen.I have lived in Thailand for eight years.I lost my British wife of 21 years to breast cancer and son of 21 to suicide.I moved to Thailand for a new life.I never drink alcohol during the day.I drink Chang beer at night.I think I deserve to be able to do what I do without condemnation or judgement.I do what helps me survive sad memories.What are my option ? Sober,sad and suicidal ? I was with my wife when she died and held my son until the paramedics told me to let go of him.So easy to judge people.Walk in my shoes.
Stay strong mate. That's a sad story but life is for the living. Such a sad story and I can't even relate to the feelings and emotions you're going through but just try and take one day at a time.
No condemnation. I understand you. As long as you control it, good for you. But to be cautious when what is good for you can become less so, is wise.
Have u tried spiritual? I become better once I submitted myself to a higher power.
Get a wife, start a new family, then you have someone to leave stuf to and life's learnings. I'm hoping that that the pension I worked so hard for will continue when I'm gone, my kind of revenge.
Alcohol makes depression worse . I still struggle staying alcohol free .
I was in Pattaya for 4 months in 2017 and by the third month I realized how easy it can be to drink yourself to death or become an alcoholic. I couldn’t live there permanently too much temptation.
No surprise there at all. It's got a population of the 'walking drunk' throughout the day, foreign men all out drunk, acting weirdly.
i was there for 17yrs back home now and of the drink. i did enjoy a lot but i did over do it.
@@johnhaggerty9722 wow 17 years your a strong man to have survived that long. I wouldn’t last 3 years at most.
Informative video, I have seen men in both Phuket and Pattaya drink themselves to death within 2-3 years of permanently moving to Thailand. Trying to reason with them and explain that you cannot continuously drink 25 to 30 bottles of beer a day when (in their words) “they were living the dream” was pointless and more often than not ended up with them becoming argumentative
Place is skid row
I was a drink (drunk) at home alcoholic.. just drinking beer from 8am until I went to bed. I just about ran out of money, then coming back from a trip home I realised that the cabin crew were unlikely to give me another drink, and that I was missing my long suffering wife and daughter, very much. I stopped drinking on that flight, and strangely enough got it completely under control, after a few years I started drinking the occasional beer, nothing like before.
It can be done but everyone's situation is different, some would rather die than give up drinking, some deny that they have a problem, etc.
I was a guy who only ever drank beer but it got to ridiculous levels and kicking the habit was a terrible experience. Now I can have one and that's enough.
@@BangkokPat seems like you have a healthy routine now ..I think keeping busy and enjoying a couple now and again is fine .. but, as we know Thailand is a strange place and can easily suck you by in .I have many mates who live in rural areas and the boredom and expat community seems to be revolve around drinking.
@@jimcraiggeezer Drinking and nightlife was the lure for many to Thailand so it's hardly surprising. It would feel weird to be sober and orderly in a place where you ony were ever partying and for those who move here long term and then realise that, can go in one direction or the other.
@@BangkokPat definitely
i will never take another drink even for a million $ if things got so good or so bad , no way
Mate it’s quality to see this. I’ve finally come to the realisation that I have to quit drinking as it’s not serving me in my life, I’ve lived in Vietnam before and been thinking about the carefree life but it revolves around drink and partying and I’m led astray and fully absorbed by the lifestyle. Fuck that I need purpose in my life not a job I dislike to fund my drinking obsession. Honestly mate this couldn’t of come at a better time, thanks for your insight xoxo
Thanks and I hope it helps you Anthony.
I've never had a drink of alcohol in my life apparently that's a blessing I am 68
Total blessing , if I could do things over I would never take a drink !
Really sad to see the consequences of alcoholism, it just robs a person of everything. If you are stressed, anxious, depressed or bored, alcohol isn't your answer. Get yourself well without alcohol and enjoy the social aspects of it if you wish.
I left BKK in 2019, after 19 years in Asia mostly Hong Kong and Singapore and 6 years living in BKK (2014 till 2019) i have to say by a very long mile BKK was my favourite city to go out and drink till the wee hours. You can go out solo (thats usually the best way) and guaranteed you will meet the most interesting assortment of misfits, burnouts, weirdos and just plain interesting people from all backgrounds. Ive had epic nights with investment bankers in from HK to English teachers and dodgy boiler room dudes. I miss it A LOT, however it was time to leave the city, no regrets at all. BKK is special its like no other city I’ve been to and I’ve been to a few. I’m living in South America now.
why you move to south america from bkk?
Production quality and story telling off the charts
You are rockin this UA-cam thing Pat.
A big thanks..
Thanks William, onwards and upwards I hope in 2022!
The AA community in Bangkok is very supportive. And trust me the people there are from all walks of life and they have seen it all. Another useful fact is some of them are the originals who helped build up AA in Bangkok. So it is definitely worth it for anyone struggling. 🙏🙏🙏
Good to hear that, Scotty.
I never understand a world where alcohol is legal but smoking marijuana is illegal (althought thailand is starting to move forward in this topic)
I DJ'd 6 years 7 months on day in and day out and never once felt the need to get smashed. I've never understood it myself but I can imagine it is hard to control once you are in the cycle.
Problem in thailand is drink means bars, bars generally mean girls....that means a very expensive and difficult to sustain life.
Good vid as always mate.
Cheers mate, as a DJ I saw a lot of crap that put me off drugs and wary of booze
@@BangkokPat if you work on the Dj table your business is growing when they drink...if you starr drinking like them soon you not work as a Dj anymore
@@chestermosburger3113 Not worth arguing with people like you my man. Il just say ok 😊
@@chestermosburger3113 Yes mate I blaze everyday in my condo in Bangkok where I would end up banged up 20 years if I got caught 🙄🙄
@@RyanLeeTVThailand An idiot who's got nothing to do on a saturday other than make stupid comments. Those days are finished, he can troll another channel now.
Totally sober for 4 months and haven’t drank heavily for over a year.
After drinking to excess nearly every night my entire adult life.
Lived in Asia many years and my drinking was out of control.
Alcohol bought out the worst in me but I couldn’t stop.
My alcoholism and illicit drug use was self medicating my ADHD.
Getting on Ritalin solved the problem and now the thought of alcohol makes me feel sick.
lived in thailand in the early 70s. saw the debauchery. never succumbed but witnessed the destruction. well done pat. great psa. thoughtful, straightforward and discerning.
I have never been an alcoholic myself, only a so called social drinker. Nowadays I don't even do that anymore as this knowledge of what alcohol does to the liver and brain becomes more and more available. I wish the best luck to everyone who is trying to quit. You can do it! Many people before you have been successful!
Going to be 44 years in June . Lucky once I stopped didn't miss it and took an aggressive stance against alcohol the enemy.
Awesome video Pat, covering this sensitive topic. This video and the awareness it brings can help not only guys based in Thailand, but all over the world 100%.
Same thing happens in Japan. I experienced it. Still struggling with it. A failed marriage, but I function 15 years after I arrived. I don't even drink out anymore. I drink alone at home.
I'm an Alcoholic,a sober alcoholic, I have been sober for 27 years
, I was a fall down drunk ! there is help as Pat mentioned if you want to get sober it is possible one day at a time admitting that you have a problem that you can't control is the first step.
If I take one drink it takes over my life I have no control over the next and next.
Getting sober and staying sober was the hardest but most rewarding and fulfilling time in my life.
I've never really enjoyed drinking myself.
But Ive seen a people in my vicinity succumb to alcohol, both friends and close family - so you are touching on a very real and important topic here.
I hear you. I'm loving this guy.
I haven’t stopped drinking totally,but I decided to look after myself better,by only drinking 1 or twice a month,and eating more fruit and veggies,I go to the gym instead of going out drinking,people need to find other interests to keep themselves busy.
Roy most drinkers I have met who don't have a problem. They don't have to divide up the month as when to drink and when not too. A pickle can never become a cucumber again.
I moved here 1995. Before the crash in 1997 you saw a lot more EX pats coming for one and two year contracts and many of them returned home as wrecks. Company setting them up in an apartment, fully furnished. So the only place to meet friends was in the bar. And it was never lets go have a cup of tea.
When I moved here I decided to bring all my things from Europe so I had my "own" condo and I could have friends over. And I could spend night at home with my own furniture etc. You know what I mean.
I have not been drinking for 6 or 7 years because of the hangovers. It was terrible. And also I did not got drunk any more, just tired. After 6 beers I went home as I got tired, before it was 25 beers and coming home when the sun was shining. I think the problem is that people don't have any interests. For me, my friends want to go have a beer and I say "SORRY! I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT 4 TO GO LOOK FOR BIRDS"
Sober and tobacco free 20 plus years and change my whole life for the better also is reason I can travel to AMAZING THAILAND 🇹🇭 because of SOBER LIFE
I like it, I'm the same
@@christopherraley781 I don't know what to call me. I am sober but I have not given up drinking because of any problem. I drink tea at the bar with my friends and people think I am a sober alcoholic. But I am not, I was not drinking alcohol because I liked the taste. I liked to get drunk and let my hair down. But now it is a waste of time as I don't get drunk, so a waste of time and money.
And seriously, how sexy is it was a 60 year old drunk making a fool out of himself? Of course, after 3 beers I am #1 handsome but others don't see it that way. So tea it is.
Powerful and very relevant video Pat. Well done. If I can add my two cents' worth it would be that for anyone whose alcoholism is driven primarily by anxiety or depression, speak to your GP about addressing that directly. I was an alcoholic for years. Nothing worked in terms of stopping or reducing until I found a medication that worked for helping that underlying cause. I know medication isn't a perfect solution and it won't work for everyone but it worked for me.
Alcohol is simply self medicating. If they're going to medicate, they should find a doctor who at least sort of knows what they're doing.
I became a born again christian--and that set me free from Alcohol 35 years ago!!!!! what freedom!!!
One month no alcohol after years of heavy drinking every day, the detoxing was awful but I feel better than I did before . When you are under the influence of alcohol you don't notice how much it weighs you down because you get used to it and it becomes normal to you but meanwhile it ruins your health, relationships and finances. If you are thinking of quiting get medical help if youre a heavy drinker there are medications that help a lot to get through the detox stage.
Hi Pat.
That was a really well done video. Those testimonials really bring it home. I’ve got my own testimonial of how alcohol affected my Thai family.
I never met my father in law. He was a kind man they say. Wore his heart on his sleeve. Too kind perhaps and after being taken advantage of in a couple of failed business start ups, he turned to alcohol. He just couldn’t cope with the betrayal!
His family suffered a lot growing up. When he worked often the money would go to drink and feeding the 3 children often relied upon the benevolence of other family members. They lived in traditional Thai living compounds in rural Thailand between Ayuthuya and Saraburi where families lived in traditional open teak homes on stilts.
He was loved very much as a kind loving father but often family neighbours would yell at him to shut up when his drinking got him too noisy. This would create alot of embarrassment and during these times his poor wife would jokingly threaten to him across the head with a frying pan. 😂
As time went by his excessive drinking developed a serious diabetic condition so his drinking habits gradually become more and more risky. When my wife was about 17 he returned to his town of birth in Surin to meet up with friends and family. His childhood friends would naturally offer him drinks and one night after a heavy session he went into a coma and died.
Luckily none of his children have any drug dependence issues and hold happy memories with him 🦋
Looking at the reasons you are drinking is important. Facing the depression, anxiety or whatever it is, is the key. I wasted 25 years as an alcoholic and am in my 6th year sober. It was actually my Thai partner (of 8 years now), who made me realize I needed to change, and how I could do it. Buddhism has really helped me to get a better perspective and prioritize things properly. It has also helped me with getting in touch with the inner sensations that we instinctively act on, before we have assessed where they are coming from. Often those sensations that I now analyze would have been an unconscious trigger to reach for a drink. Now I explore them, perhaps try to change them or use it as a signal to just go and do something else. It’s not easy, but it’s better than the endless hopeless cycle of booze.
Well done Pat in talking about this serious issue.Addiction controls you and trying to turn it around takes time . One day at a time no matter where you are in the world it starts with you inside wanting to change and then having the right people around you to help you . It will always be there but eventually you can control it . It’s heartbreaking what drink has done to so many people like drugs, gambling and other vices that we need to try and keep in check
Thanks Jimmy. Tough topics but someone's gotta try and talk about it, and it's good that so many comments here are positive as in nobody except two have said anything horrible. Shows how widespread it can be and that we all know someone somewhere affected by the demon booze.
I was drinking too much in Mexico, at least for me anyway. When I first came to Pattaya I didn't feel a need to drink. But, I later moved closer to the action with all the bars, massage parlors and noise. The need for a beer returned, and I was back to my Mexico consumption level. I just moved to a new place away from all that, now I don't feel the need anymore. At least for me it seems to be the vibration of a place. If you have bars filled with sullen old drunks, it has to be giving off a negative vibe.
Off topic slightly here but relatable to alcohol and health, saw a sign on a café door once which read, 'Lung cancer cures smoking'.
Thanks for this one. Well done. Take care of yourselves everyone!
A short stint as a bartender 3+ decades ago was an eye opener and a good teacher, as I got to see all types of people attempting to "manage" their relationship with alcohol. It was embarrassing and sad for some, but not all.
I'm sure as a DJ you saw plenty as well.
Pat, you're not killing it with alcohol, but with these amazing videos!
Thanks mate.
🙏 for making this video. If possible make more with more interviews/ life experience for everybody to learn how alcohol affects themselves, their family and friends 🙏
Perhaps not just on alcohol but also other kinds of addiction. This topic is also a part of the Thailand “coin” that not many want to talk about or accept.
I grew up with an alcoholic parent. It never had a hold on me as a moderate drinker, and in the last four years as an almost completely non-drinker. Living in Thailand you see these guys drinking their lives away with various levels of self-destruction. I stay away from them.
I quit drinking when I lived in Bangkok in my mid twenties after I fell from an overpass after a night of debauchery. Best decision I could have ever made lol. And I really was just drinking because I was living there for months but not working and there wasn't much else to do after a certain point. 10 years on and I'm wary of people my age that still prioritize drinking and partying.
Wish there would be a discussion on alcohol abuse in the Philippines among expats. It is bad here.
There must be something somewhere online?
They have AA in the Philippines but no face to face meetings only online since the pandemic
As a 34 year sober man I have some experience and understanding of alcoholism.
If someone can drink, get into trouble/s, then stop or change the drinking habits and cease causing and having difficulties (other than normal daily life problems which we all experience) then I would suggest they are not alcoholics.
Some say that there are types of alcoholics; e.g. control or functional alcoholics, binge drinkers - able to drink heavily for a while then go dry for a period e.g. weekend, and then there are primary alcoholics i.e. a person that once a drink has been taken simply cannot stop even unto death.
The paradoxical primer about being an alcoholic rather than a heavy or problem drinker is that whether drunk or not the alcoholic is alcoholic in nature, attitudes, thinking and emotionally/spiritually an alcoholic whether they drink or not.
The debate about genetics I will leave to others to discuss.
The mention of "willpower" was made. For an alcoholic, paradoxically, the will is useless where alcohol is concerned, and yet once the alcoholic admits their addiction and surrenders to a process of a recovery (in whatever form/s that takes). If the alcoholic then takes a drink again then a re-beginning, almost immediately where one left off the last time one drank is highly probable.
I was a world rated athlete, strong, disciplined beyond normal mortal belief, a willpower dynamo, hard working, intelligent, a focused man until I crossed the line into active alcoholism. At that threshold I found my own will utterly useless.
I have known high court judges who drove a Bentley's and drank in the boardroom and hallowed sacred halls of ivy league institutions but were alcoholics nonetheless, incredibly successful business men and women with riches, families, to average-Joes, kind and gracious with loving families decent earning jobs with lots of people who like them who ended up dead or in institutions because of the thing called alcoholism. Oe of the core issues with a true alcoholic is a loathing of self far beyond the self esteem issues of other men.
An alcoholic is not just the fella or woman living under a park-bench
To be like me (I have changed a great deal in 34 sober years yet paradoxically I have not lol 🤣) The idea that ones own self-will is the best remedy for alcoholism is sadly false (and yes there is a paradox here also) for until one admits as wholly as one can that they are an alcoholic and cannot even under their best own steam conquer this inner malady then the changes needed deeply within will simply not take place. Only then and over time with a dedication only a dying person musters can the self-will be moulded, reborn if you will to assist the person to live. Until these changes take place an alcoholic alone with their own thoughts and person is in deadly company indeed. Oh further compensatory, half measure adaptions can be had yes but the deep changes to address the irritability, discontent, etc etc will not. It's sometimes called swapping the 'witch for the bitch' e.g. changing jobs, getting divorced, getting married, taking up strenuous exercise, have more sex, don't have sex, become vegetarian, or not, moving, taking up yoga, drinking only on a certain day of the week, changing from spirits to beer or whatever, smoking pot instead of drinking, or some other distraction from the inner work of alcoholism recovery.
Now such things on face value aren't 'bad' at all of course, the point I make is that these are examples often used as a means of covering up or distracting from the inner maladies of being alcoholic.
I am sure that there will be those who read this and say BS. That's your right to think and say. I in no way think I have the right to say who is and is not an alcoholic that is ultimately for each person confronted with themselves in such a predicament to decide. Good luck, and seek outside help from AA and professionals if anything I have written here sounds like you.
Well said sir. I was living the fast professional life in London for many years and was drinking 6 days out of 7 a week. It was a slippery slope as they say buy I was having a lot of fun. Only when I relocated did I cut down. Now I only have a beer every so often. It tastes good after abstinence. I am not addicted anymore and I feel great
Phillip S - 34 years sober well done and your words sound very familiar. ODAT myself 32 years Sober in Melbourne Australia but have been to Meetings in BKK and Pattaya !
Going for CURES is the start...
wow, what a powerful statement, thank you for your words.
You hit the nail on the head.
Im on day 103 of not drinking.
Its not easy but it's worth stopping.
My plan is minimum of a year off to repair everything that I've ruined in my life.
I've booked to climb Mount kilimanjaro in Tanzania just as my year off alcohol ends so I definitely won't be drinking until after I've conquered Africas biggest mountain.
I might never drink again
Be careful of the drinking and girl temptation in Africa. I am in Uganda - I know it's nothing much to do with place. Good luck.
replacing drinking with another activity is extremely important so setting goals and staying active is important were a few things that helped me much.
A very important topic. Thanks for lifting this very important up. Expat lifestyle is generally mixed with a lot of alcohol, it is a social key. Not only in Bangkok or Asia but also in Southern Europe where retired people from the northern countries seem to have adopted a daily alcohol habit, from lunch and throughout the day as a new normal. A very dangerous habit.
Was blessed with this video in my recommendations
Thank you for your down to earth tone, beautiful photography of the city, and most of all, respect. I've had periods of unrestrained hedonism in my earlier life, and still experience some issues from that. But your tone is understanding, focused on the problem and not the failings of the person. It's a refreshing voice to hear when caught between two sides of a dilemma
I lived through alcoholism in my teens with my brother being an alcoholic, after many years he accepted he had a problem and because he wanted to he faced it straight on and quit. Mind you only for a couple of years, since then I believe has has probably drifted back and forth if his still alive as I lost contact with him decades ago through his drinking. Key advice, you have to do it for you and you only
That’s a great article Pat. I’ve never lived in Thailand but I have travelled quite a bit in a previous job. Similar traps could be found in Shanghai, KL, Hong Kong etc etc. Mental health is crucial to anyones well-being whether at work or play. Keep up the the great work & love your content.
You mean your country does not have bars and bars girls? I think KL is not a trap because it is a Muslim country and alcohol is expensive due to the sin tax. The drinking habit is due to the bar girls available which you dont find in KL bars. (From Singapore)
My friend has Alcoholic Dementia he was a big drinker in Australia but being able to drink all day made it worse he drinks at least 12 big Leo’s per day. Sad to see.
Well done for making the video.
Sorry to hear that mate.
Bangkok is no different to anywhere else in terms of alcohol. I love Bangkok and I love Soi 4 where you were filming, Big Dogs is my favourite place in the whole world to sit and people watch and while I understand the point that you are making, I don't see Bangkok as any different from Berlin. I moved to Berlin in 1997 aged 25 and was so amazed by the vastness and diversity of the city that it was hard to take it all in. I worked hard and I partied much harder, but I kept my head on my shoulders. In the 12 years that I lived in Berlin I saw many young lads and lasses get drawn too far into the nightlife, booze and drugs, they all fell by the wayside and/or moved back home having failed to hold down a job. I now live in Phuket which is so far from Bangkok and Berlin in terms of jobs for expats to fail in that there's no comparison. And I love it.
I’ve never known an alcoholic in my work or social circle in America. I rarely went to bars. I was an occasional drinker at home. Here in Thailand I have a bar I go to every Friday. I am retired and happier in Thailand so I have no sorrows to drown. The drinkers are easier to see here because so many bars are outside in the open but there are drinkers everywhere.
Those open air bars lead to folk drinking way more than they are used to.
There is help even when you're faced with desperation and hopelessness.
I am a oldtime expat and have known the Thai people since I was here during the war. I now have been here over 12 years and not leaving. I am old and sick. Now it has been determined by medicial experts what horrific damage alcohol does to your brain. It is just not good for you. I drank when I was younger later in the US even more. I don't judge be warned if you want to live longer then you choose. Alcohol is bad for you even one or two beers a day. God bless damn glad I quit since 1991 except for the occasional beer. NO MORE.
I on a very personal note lost a very special person in my life. She drank I knew it but she was not here so I did not know. She fell in her new home and died, broke me heart drink did this.
Thanks for this Pat. I am 10 years sober. AA and counselling helped me. I went traveling 25 years ago, recently with time on my hands have been researching Thailand again. I am drawn by the women food weather etc. It has crossed my mind a few times however is this just alcoholism coming knocking again? AA taught me this bastard of a disease will wait and wait for you and reintroduce itself out of leftfield. Thanks for everyone's input goes without saying this is important 👍
May 30th will be 19 years sober for me after 30 years of the never-ending party life. AA saved my life because I wanted to get sober more than anything else. Half-measures avail nothing.
I've seen this go bad for weekend drinkers when they retire. Weekdays was work, weekends are drinking days. But then they retire and every day is an alcohol day -- doesn't end well.
I never drink in Thailand, I see too many elderly men sitting alone looking miserable. Dont miss it at all. Each to their own.
Theres nothing wrong with sitting on your own looking miserable i do it all the time i love it..
@@samuelhutchison8433 Most times its better than if you had company.
Some are just deep thinkers.
Your coverage of videos on the topics of Bangkok history and expat life in Bangkok are a valuable resource. It's great this is available for folks to do some good research instead of learning on the ground.
I have been coming to Thailand for almost 40 years (in less than a year) and have lived here now for 16 years.
The main reasons to have a drink are no different from back home.....birthday or other party or special occasions, catching up with folks you haven't seen in a long time.....and weekend sports get to-gethers and barbies.
Stick to these and you will be ok
I agree, but even that takes a bit of willpower for some.
And Christ delivered me from alcohol too. Keep sharing the eternal message, brother.
Hmmm, I've been sober a number of years. I tried so many times to stop on my own. I heard about a family member who after getting arrested and hitting a terrible bottom went to AA and was sober a number of months. After several years trying to quit on my own I finally decided to give AA a try. A person has to hit a bottom before they really want to stop. Often this means hospitalization or jail. I had been partying in BKK and can easily see the allure. I also went to a lot of AA meetings in BKK after I got sober. Not everybody is the same but I still enjoy going out when sober. To see a band, watch some dancing girls or dine at a good restaurant. Met some of those folks that were mentioned in the video. The ones that disappear. Sometime miracles happen. They get sober, make amends and live an easier softer life without the booze. Sadly, many of those people that continue to drink get locked up (jails, institutions), covered up (dead) or sobered up. If a person is an alcoholic, these are the three ends to the illness of alcoholism. BKK is a perfect place to act out with booze or other intoxicants. Only you can decide if you're an alcoholic. There are a list of questions to help you determine if you are but most folks with a drinking problem know deep down inside they aren't drinking normally. Check it out online if you're interested. I'm not promoting here, I'm just sharing what worked for me. Bangkok Pat you may consider getting in touch with some AA expat folks there and interviewing them.
You hit the nail on the head. I never gave up any activity that brought me pleasure and that included drinking. I quit for 18 months took a trip around the world. Remember taking a drink in a small town in Ireland woke up 10 weeks later in a whore house in Narobi. i went through countries with no memory. I don't look back on drinking as a fun event because it was awful.
I'm a year sober after 40 years on the booze so glad I'm free of it...I lost so many days and weeks to hangovers
Pat, Thanks for being brave and covering this topic. As they say the grass is always greener. I worked in advertising (1977 - 1990) Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll and it was true. i was exposed to a Very big Drinking Culture so had good grounding when i first went to Thailand in 1990 i saw how people got sucked in to that life style and had enough grounding to not get drawn in to that its an easy trap to fall in to... i was lucky. one of the saddest things i saw were Two down and outs walking around in tattered rags begging on the street one British and one German , i remember thinking theirs no hope for these guys what will become of them. Another example was a Guy from manchester who had a bar on one of the islands, he had thee best bar in the best soi and the best looking girls, i used to go and have a chat to him most afternoons and have a beer but there was never much trade. i used to wonder how he got the money to keep it going. i used to go sometimes Three times a year and the last time i saw him he had his mother who was 80 and his sister over,he was begging his mum to sell her house so he could finance the Bar it was very sad i had to live. the next time i went the bar had a new oner. Turned out he got so stressed and was drinking so much he had a heart attack and died.Aparantly he owed money every where.
So typical. Had foreigners ask me for money also. Saw them not more than ten minutes later drinking beer. That was the last time I gave a foreigner money.
I am so glad to have a personality where alcohol never overtook me; even while in places like Bangkok surrounded by cheap booze, I could easily stop myself when I knew I had enough. I feel so bad for people who can't do this, booze really can ruin one's life.
I quit smoking with an Allen Carr - Easy Way course. I hear they have one for alcoholism too. The actual physical addiction is a bit longer (a week++) but i think the deconstruction of the desire to drink would follow the same method as quitting smoking. Might be worth investigating.
Never been to Thailand. But you are spot on, it makes you think you are worth it, there is always something to celebrate or something to destress from. Alcohol is insidious.
Excellent episode which highlights a serious issue. I remember Soi 0 way back in the mid 1990’s. I really enjoyed this cautionary tale which was covered in a non-judgmental manner.
Thanks Scott, parts were from personal experience and some were from the time I spent working in counselling. Many guys chose to drink regardless of the growing health risks (most were over 45 and had drank heavily for over 20yrs)
Stopping drinking, for me, had to be a gradual thing because I suffered from alcohol-related fits/seizures and hallucinations on the occasions I went "cold turkey". I've also given up heroin, crack and cocaine, but stopping drinking was, by far, the most difficult and dangerous of them all. Always good to see any kind of addiction being discussed, so thanks very much for the video.
Drinking is brutal . I never found drugs addictive at all . Alcohol the worst drug !
Respect!
I’m retired and living in Thailand.
July 6 2023 I’ll hopefully Celebrate 26 years Sober.
No matter what happens I will never use Alcohol or a Mind or Mood altering substance today.
One day at a time!
Pattaya and Bangkok have great AA Meetings.
Chiang Mai
Korat
Buriram
If you need us. We’re there.
It’s very hard to see all the Alcohol Abuse in Pattaya.
All the Traffic Accidents as a result of Alcohol and Drug abuse.
I can’t intervene and I can’t stop it.
I don’t have a Magic Wand.
When your ready
The hand of AA will be there to greet you!
Safety and Blessings.
Great to see you are on the straight and narrow and will remain so.
Something the Aussie guy said.... "He was trying to feel young again, not BE young again." Drugs and alcohol can trigger those happy, carefree moments of our youth, but we're still stuck in the old body. In order to BE young again, we must do the opposite... take care of ourselves, exercise, eat right, and realize if the booze is hurting us. Not an easy thing to do. A lot easier to just keep drinking. I've been in and out of sobriety for a long time, just got 8 months again, and it's still a struggle. While I know the reality of alcoholism, it's just so easy to say 'screw it' and go looking for that good time - that intellectually you know is an illusion, but sometimes happy illusions override unhappy reality. Thanks for this video!
I'm not a drinker anymore but I do have a serious weakness for umbrella type drinks like "dirty banana", sangria, pina colodas...Basically all lady drinks...but man do I love them...so if you see a older guy passed out near nana plaza surrounded by drink beach umbrellas that'll probably be me.
I may have seen you at some point on my travels Keith.
@@BangkokPat 🤣🤣🤣 🌂
Stopping suddenly can cause seizures. My ex-student - teaching English in Bangkok, and with a father who died of Korsakoff's Syndrome (wet brain), managed to get himself back to Glasgow without realising he'd left Thailand. He was hearing things, and finally (in Queen's Park) realised he wasn't in Thailand. GABA stops the desire to drink in a big fraction of alcoholics.
I think one of the problems that isn't addressed in this video is that for many expats who do have a serious problem with alcohol it is compounded by the fact that they are potentially far removed from the support networks that could actually help them overcome their addiction. I am alluding to family and also the help of Alcoholics Anonymous groups which, while they may exist in Thailand, might nevertheless be less accessible to foreigners for linguistic and social reasons. In many ways though, South East Asia with its (more or less) perennial tourist traffic might just be the 'perfect' place for an alcoholic to try to conceal their addiction to the world.
You're right, this is lacking in Thailand for obvious reasons. There are AA groups and the higher end hospitals have counselling facilities but it's just so easy to feel isolated if you're vulnerable/
Go to english speaking Alcoholics Anonymous.
I like a drink and femail company but I have seen many expat visitors even company exacutives do vodka bulls,gel bombs, cocaine and 3000+ viagra
A.A. is alive and well in Thailand
@@johnmccarthy7195 That's undoubtedly a good thing. As someone who doesn't live in Thailand I wouldn't have known that, save for the people who are commenting and sharing here such as yourself John. Mine was simply an uneducated assumption.
Exercise and fasting is the cure for everything. We evolved over millennia to chase wild animals on a handful of nuts and berries.
When he said “nobody’s there as you’re watching the clock tick by” - I thought to myself, why are you sitting around watching the clock? Go outside for a run, a swim, a hike, see the world. You’re alive! Since I quit drinking, there aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything I want and now have the energy and money to do!
Fact is drinking on a tuesday afternoon in Thailand or most places in Asia can be exciting...in UK it just wouldnt be, even in summer
I've seen it in Wetherspoons when I was in there for a 2 quid lunch special. Not a pretty sight.
Friday night in the UK during happy hour with a fat bird giving you the come on is still a miserable experience compared to drinking abroad.
Imagine a group of Muay Thai gyms creating some type of community connection for these men to train at while they re-create themselves. Something to the effect of possibly discounted fee or provided dorm stay etc. Sometimes this kind of thing is perfect for men: gives them structure, hard physical work for the body, camaraderie and tribe, allows them to rise to the occasion
Also load up on cooking classes. Food, cooking, and eating are all very deeply engrained in us all.
That's a couple of great ideas, Raoul.
They have a place like this in Phuket soi taid I believe it’s called
I think I'm watching a friend heading in this direction Booze.. Girls... Less sense of right and wrong.... Thailand does this too many men... Yes... He is trying to be 30 again at 70. Booooom
I miss Soi Zero. When I first arrived here that was a great place to get a beer, shoot pool, and chat with friendly Thai people for an afternoon into the early evening. I take umbrage with you comment suggesting that teaching is a desperate man's path. I have met, taught and formed friendships with Admirals, CEOs , Government officials, Attaches, university students and small and large business owners. All of which can lead to another door opening. I don't believe in luck. I make my own luck.
Alcohol is the most dangerous drug to discontinue for Full on drunk.Do it in a medical environment
It's the most dangerous and most profited from, yet socially acceptable. Odd, that.
The 'Expats' that reside in and around Banchang Rayong are a great example of what you are presenting in this program. Well done! They are all around!!
There's a TV series called The Embassy. The staff of the Australian embassy deals with Australian's in a bind in Thailand and their stories. Some stories are so ridiculous it's hard to believe a person could be so stupid, but there are people that stupid. There are probably episodes on UA-cam.
Watched a few in the past and you are right people seem to drop their guard or sink to the lower levels when abroad and seemingly can have it all for little cost.
Where is the connection to alcoholism ?
@@_Alfa.Bravo_ Some people featured in the series have been in the country for some time and clearly have drug and alcohol issues. There are also people trying to track down family members, looking for those who have got totally f#cked up and lost in Thailand.
I've seen this show, many with booze issues dig themselves into holes.
I first visited Thailand when I was 30 years old, then made many subsequent trips always partying like a rock star. I later lived in Pattaya for three years when I was in my early 40's. I was working remotely but had to travel to the Middle East for a week every month. Those short trips kept me from spiraling into an early death from kidney/liver failure. When I left Thailand at the age of 45, I gave up booze completely (and I mean not a single drop) for nearly five years. I did that just to prove to myself that I'm not an alcoholic. It's now been six years since I drank my last beer, but I do have a very occasional Scotch and soda. I love Thailand and hope to live there again someday, but I definitely won't center my life around expat drinking binges four or five nights a week. ;-) They were some pretty damn good times though -- wouldn't trade the memories and stories for gold.
Yeah! I’ve been to Bangkok and there’s a lot of foreigners who are alcoholics. I went to many AA meetings there. I’d rather be a sober alcoholic than a drunk one. If I was still drinking I wouldn’t be traveling and living in Asia. If you think you have a problem go to some meetings. It’s free. And there’s meetings on line around the world 24/7
I’ve been in Thailand for 10 years, the 1st 3 in Pattaya, I have a photo of myself and 2 friends in a bar on beach road. I am the only one who is still alive the other 2 both died of alcohol related illnesses both in their 50s.
I saw the writing on the wall.
I stopped drinking, go out of Pattaya, started running and lost 50kgs.
I’ve not touched a drop in more than 7 years and run ultra marathons now.
My life in Thailand is great, but I am surrounded by expats who can’t stop.
It's easily done, going down the path of constant drinking, I've met a few over the years who are no longer with us.
It's ironic that this video is from Bangkok Thailand because a natural plant that is native to Thailand and Indonesia called Kratom is what helped me quit drinking completely. It absolutely saved my life but be careful kratom is psychologically habit forming but it's easy to manage.✌
My family said I need help with my drinking.... So I employed a bar man..... Just kidding Pat.... An important topic worth raising and talking about!
Pat, I've drunk every day for as long as I can remember I'm 68 now but never drank before "12" or midday unless of special occasions.And about 8 months ago I got up had my cup of tea and whent to my local c j supermarket and bought orange sqwash, my Thai Kandy asked me what are you doing and my reply was I'm not drinking alcohol in the afternoon. And now I have 3 beers in the evening and I enjoy them " it's all willpower" 100%🤗
I don't know where Kandy came from it should be lady 🙄
I actually like the taste of ice cold Beer Lao white. During the day a Heineken Zero ice cold in the heat is great.
I saw this a lot in Vietnam. We worked all day and to socialise we just met at night and drank. At the start going out 4 or 5 times a week was heaven, but after a while bad habits form. After years abroad, I saw a lot of people keep up the same pace and mixed the drinking with sleeping pills and xanax and all sorts. It just goes downhill.
I never wanted to quit going to parties so my middle ground has become to only drink once per week.
Ive been sober and clean since July 27,1988. Retiring to Pattaya later this year. there is a fairly large active recovery community in Thailand, AA and NA meetings abound. Alcoholism doesnt care where you live because, face it, alcohol is everywhere. If you think you might be an alcoholic, you likely are an alcoholic. Help is available and sobriety will serve you well.
Thanks Joel, there's links now in the description to those two outlets.
Good video. I had a business partner who gave me my first look into severe alcoholism. Brutal stuff. He’s now dead. I’ve probably been borderline at times too and boredom is the biggest danger, coupled with stress and anxiety issues. Stay strong men!!
This is excellent . I love a good drink after a day’s fishing and then it’s sober all week for work . Can’t drink every day ..fantastic report you did ..
I relate to this video. I had 12 years sober then slipped on a business trip to Penang. Then I drank for 20 years plus. It was up it was down. Not the same as before though.
I discovered Pattaya in 2006 and it was predictable. I ended up with a Thai family which was awesome. Finally drinking naturally tapered off to virtually nothing. Now it is not the norm if I DO have a beer. As regards Pattaya it fairly quickly became an utter bore. The glitz and pizazz of 06 , when I first went there, became a sham. A sham for the racism, hatred from many Thais, double standards and the pointlessness of it all.
Now I am permanently in the USA. It has everything I need. I follow the warm weather, can afford what I need and am not bored. No bizarre flair ups out of nothing. No suddenly aggressive bargirls or bossy, bullying falang who have drank too much. Just peace and stability.
I miss Thailand, the smells, the noise, the food. I don't miss the insincerity, alcohol pushing and general forest of lies. Things are never what they seem and the grass always looks greener especially when you are older.