My day as an Active alcoholic | Withdrawals | Hitting rock bottom
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2023
- #Thailand #Thailandvlog #uk
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Unlike the theatrical polished content of our main channel, this channel will more livestreams, free talking, diary vlogs, adult themes, discussions on current affairs and topics of interest. It is a place to share, have a dialogue with subscribers and bring others into the mix, which enhances my quality of life as a rural hermit in Thailand!
'The Naked Guru" Is just a fun metaphor for being open and honest.
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A few people have reached out and said these topics help them in some small way, so I will talk on them from time to time. Thanks for coming along for the ride and please share your story below.
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introduce christ to yourself read a bible here and there to your kids psalms and proverbs are fun
@@shareonrivas1458mentioned in this video 👍
Just subscribed
Appreciate your honesty.
Do more vids like this,because a lot of people go to Thailand with addiction and mental health problems.
Hits all too close to home. Kicking the bottle is probably the best thing i have ever done.
Thank you so much for the kind words at the start of your video Ryan. Appreciate it mate 🙏
Hope you are keeping well brother 🙏🙏
I'm so glad you're free. So many have died from alcoholism. It's a horribly cruel death. 😢
Thank you Toni 🙏
I am an alcoholic myself, I am 71 years old and most of my family and friends have died from it. In 1988 I got on the freeway by getting on the off ramp. I got into a head on crash at four in the morning. After all this I knew I was not put on earth to kill others with my disease so I decided to go to a rehab center. They rung me out and sent me to AA.
I did that for quite awhile and got 14 years of no smoking or drinking.
Since then it has been on and off. Finally I needed a sixth back surgery and the doctor would not operate until I got some sobriety. I checked into another rehab four three days, stayed sober for a week and then was operated on and set free.
I have been sober for almost a year now and know that alcoholism will kill me, so luckily I have no intention of having another drink ever.
Actually I am having way more fun than I ever had drinking.
I am happy you shared your struggles and how your life has totally changed for the better. I am here to support you in your life's journey. I am responsible to help anyone who needs help, even if it's to give them a drink when they truly need one.
Thank you for sharing your story and congratulations on this year 🙏🙏🙏
Wow what a story! I've never heard an anecdotal story of sobriety where a dose of LSD stopped their alcoholism. That's fantastic, good for you man. I'm currently 613 days sober and absolutely thriving. Life is pure peace. I feel like a buddhist, finding such joy in the tiny little things in life.
My fave Thai vlogger by far, love the honesty from this man,being truthful,and honest is how we learn from one, and other,keep up the great work.
Thank you 🙏
Well done lad coming through the end of this bad tunnel hats 🎩 off to you unfortunately Pattaya etc will suck the life out of you when it comes to drinking especially been a bar owner
White dudes are the best Thai vloggers by far
I wish my husband could have gotten to the place of peace that you did. Unfortunately, he has not made it there.
That's nice you mentioned Ricky, its been the most distressing news I've heard, those poor babies, poor everyone, I can't imagine.
I find that if you're any sort of artist/creative, there's also a certain romanticism we attach to substance abuse. Just another long line of excuses we give to let ourselves know that we haven't got a problem. Like you said, "The Rock 'n' Roll lifestyle," or however you want to see it.
I actually just arrived home from Thailand this morning after planning a 2-week street photography trip for months. I got some work done, but the trip definitely brought some demons out.
I needed to see this today. Thanks, Ryan.
Very honest and detailed account of your tribulations. Glad you found your way out.
Ryan your videos really have hit a new level. Your honesty and authenticity coupled with your now highly developed production skills are a real joy.
Thanks Ryan….long time viewer of both your channels……this hit a old raw nerve with me I too lost everything in my life kids wife and was an alcoholic……my life moved on long time ago I’m 52 and look forward to get back to Thailand soon I feel at peace in that country which first visited 30 years ago….life is a journey I’m happier than I’ve been in very long time…..peace too you ✌️
What a wonderful story of redemption. Sadly, there are many who are lost in addiction, who never find their way out of it, and succumb to their addiction, either wasting their lives away or never reaching their life's potential. I grew up in such a family, and my father's addiction to alcohol totally destroyed our family. My father who was a boss in a coal mine who would lace his Skoal Chewing tobacco with Leilani Hawaiian Rum to go into the mines for his shift; you couldn't smoke inside a coalmine, and when he came home late at night, it would be Whiskey & Coke on ice. 3/4 of the class filled with Whiskey, and 1/4 with Coke. He'd sit at our kitchen table drinking until he was shit-faced and then either wake us all up to fight over some mispercieved slight, or we'd all pray that he'd go to bed to sleep it off without a terrible fight wherre he'd threaten us or tear the house up in anger. It was never ending, and we'd live in fear for the weekends, where he'd start drinking right after breakfast, and not stop until Monday when he went back to work. To say we had happy childhoods growing up would be a lie, but that's the way many coalmining towns were where I lived. My father died of Cirrosis of the liver. As for me, since alcoholism runs in my family, I rarely if ever have a drink, and if I do, it's only one and done. My life's motto I developed is this: "You are where you are in life, based on the decisions you've made to it.......If you don't like the outcome of those decisions, only YOU can change your life's pathway; no one can do it for you."
Thank you for your honesty. I wondered if you had gotten sober from your Lost Everything post. I too am clean & sober, 24 years last January. Best thing I've ever done. Good on ya bud! Sobriety Rocks.
Thank You for you're honesty, you brought back some very strong feeling for me.. 39 years sober and clean September 23rd..! Life continues to get better, and through the roughest times since its made me a better man.. I'm always amazed at what life has brought me since..!
Wowza. That was an impressive walk you took us on. You said the old you died and, I have to say, you *look* so different to me. And, man, what a hottie Damo is. So pleased y'all have evolved together and found *grace* together, my brother.
Was in the same position as you for 10+ years, high doses of psychedlics pulled me in out of sobriety, in the last 3 years microdosing mushrooms has given me the opportunity and finally unhinge from a terrible addiction. Psychedlics truly do hold the potential to solve people from spiraling into the abyss.
Cheers!
God bless you mate - thank you for this video. It rings true to me, and denial, or self-justification for a substance abuse, in any form, is addiction. It's a sickness and it's a lifelong problem. We all need to face our self imposed addictive habits. Until you do that, there will never be an escape, only excuses and ultimately, self destruction. Some people need to get to that point before they finally bow out and realise the issue is themselves, not those around them. Much love and thanks brother.
Ryan, Life is messy. I wish you the best in life. Booze is a mild form of poison. Stay safe and be well.😊
I wouldnt say a mild poison. Its pure poison
Why do you think it is called “intoxication”?
I never comment but I had to say this- a really generous and moving story. Thank you for sharing Ryan. Your words and kindness help me and warm my heart. Thank you
Interesting how similar we all are. Well presented, helpful and honest. I done the same thing in the Philippines 🇵🇭 thankfully like you, I survived it. Keep up the great work and really humbled to see how you've found your peace.
Thanks Ryan, for telling your story. I think it will help people to work on their own problems. For me it encourages me to look at my life and try to handle my problems.
I like the way you make these videos, no judgement, just an open and honest style. This is rare on social media. Keep on the good work!!!
Thanks for your honesty Ryan, very insightful. We are called to change but can be dragged back by our old egoic selves. I came across this poem recently by Edwin Muir, called the Way, it may resonate.
Friend, I have lost the way.
The way leads on.
Is there another way?
The way is one.
I must retrace the track.
It’s lost and gone.
Back, I must travel back!
None goes there, none.
Then I’ll make here my place,
(The road leads on),
Stand still and set my face,
(The road leaps on),
Stay here, for ever stay.
None stays here, none.
I cannot find the way.
The way leads on.
Oh places I have passed!
That journey’s done.
And what will come at last?
The road leads on.
All the best, Kevin
Surly going to help many… people who’s struggling with those addictions thanks for sharing ur stories my friend , I drop everything’s 25+yrs ago so proud of myself ! One think I learn from control urself don’t let ur mind control you !
Some people, for whatever reasons, enjoy how alcohol or drugs change their personality towards one that they themselves might find more intriguing and interesting, if you were an actor it would be like being an introvert but the role required you being an extrovert, the problem is when you stop acting the part and star living the part. I applaud your honesty and ultimately what you lost is not nearly as important as recognising that role was destructive and had no future but if you have been blessed with self analytical skills, willpower and strength of character you can consciously change. David Bowie said as much about the fictional character Ziggy Stardust that he created but then found it was consuming him and recognised when it was time to rid himself of that version of himself. Good you are where you are now as that is a far better place to be.
I’m alcoholic on the lower level - I am 62 learnt to modify ( if you fall of wagon ) I can do six beers but can’t drink spirits usually I give up for three or four years a time- at your age I was as bad - the bottom line is don’t drink - meditation helps you win -you’ve come a long way
Ps you can still hear in your breathing you heavily smoked
I exercise and don't smoke and still become breathless speaking at times, depends on my nerves
Hi Ryan be proud of yourself you have done amazing friends are usually just around for a season but they usually always disappear when you need but now you have a beautiful family who will cherish you for the rest of your life and Damo is amazing you certainly made the right choice in your life thank you for sharing your story
I applaud your honesty & congratulate your continued sobriety. You & Damo obviously share a great love & relationship for her to remain with you through the bad times. I believe addiction most often develops as a means of coping with trauma in our lives. Nothing in the old life of an addict can replace the sense of peace in your head & in your heart that sobriety brings ❤
Thank you 🙏
I'm giving up at the moment, this video helped greatly, thank you.
Thanks for the yarn mate, im battling thru the trenches now,
Thanks for that Ryan (and Damo ) , your story will help someone for sure.
Thanks for shearing you your story with us Ryan. Been battling with it all my life. Your an inspiration
So sorry to hear about your friend’s wife. I too am a musician. I was a Los Angeles studio musician for many years, played with George Duke, Clark Terry and Benny Golson back in the day. As of late I was the touring bassist for the Motown group The Miracles. I retired to Hua Hin and now have two bands here I play with. Alcoholism and drug addiction is a huge problem in our industry and I too have lost a few friends to it and have seen my own brother suffer from it for decades. So glad to see you were able to kick it and straighten your life out. Thank you for sharing your story.
This has been good for me to hear brother. Making me examine my own lifestyle choices and why I do it. Thanks for the honesty.
Hung on every word Ryan. You laid it all out there. Hope it helps people. Your honesty is so refreshing
Great story … Thanks for sharing… very enlightening…
Thank you, Ryan, for reaching out to Ricky in his time of grief. I only just started following him last night when he came up on my search for visiting the area of Thailand he's in. I watched the most recent today and immediately wanted to reach out to you in hopes that you could talk to him. This vlog of yours is to me beautiful for two reasons, one... you know of Ricky, and i know you'll be there for him and two, your beautiful honesty in your journey with Alcohol. I've had my demons, too, and i know what you went through. Im sure you were fun to hang with when you were drinking, but I personally would enjoy Ryan and Mo of today. Bless to you and your beautiful family 🙏
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference...
That was a hard lesson to learn at first.... It took me nearly 7yrs to get my head around it and to be honest some days I still struggle. But I look at the wife I have now and I push through the darkness and yes it is darkness, I'm just hoping that the light I see is the end of the tunnel and not an oncoming train.....
Push on reward less.... LOL.
Thanks Ryan for sharing in such an honest way.
Congratulations on been sober fight your inner demons. Keep building on the beautiful life, family and home you now have. 🙏👨👩👧👧❤️🏡🙏
Bravo Ryan, bravo. It takes courage to be brave enough to share the darkest parts of our lives with people, especially strangers. This is the signal, the symbol of your authenticity. To be so vulnerable is a clear reflection of your strength and the strength of your spiritual self. I was fortunate that my parents never really were drinkers. I seen my father a bit drunk once in my life and never really enjoyed the lack of balance that alcohol created for me personally. I never liked the way it made me feel. Yes, I have been drunk many times in my youth and yes I also experimented with many drugs in my youth but in those days I believed that balance and moderation was the key to success and happiness. Now I realize that balance is just one part of my formula for authenticity. A very important part but just one part nonetheless. I loved listening to your story not because of the rubber neck moments bordering on disaster but because of your ability to connect and be vulnerable on such a personal level. I love that part. I am so glad that you are one of those that experienced an epiphany, a life changing awakening. You have so much to offer, so much to share and so much to contribute to humanity in your own caring and artistic way. Your eyes tell a story that cannot be told but reflect those same signals and symbols I mentioned. Your story was not about me but I can assure you that many of us see a part of us in your story. As humans we all share one thing in common, all of us...fear. We all look for an escape of one form or another to try and protect us from our fears. Facing them requires stepping out into the light and recognizing that we are afraid and the trying to realize why. We cannot address or fix something we cannot see. I am very proud of you and yet we have never met. Thank you for sharing, I miss that part of life. Excellent vlog dude. You still have that look of youthful wonderment in your eyes, hermit or not. I totally get get it and appreciate you. Carry on bravely and continue to light the way for those who cannot see. It took me a long time to realize my purpose in life, obviously you are a quick learner. Nuf said.
That's a beautiful story. Congratulations on your transformation. 👏
"Nothing flashy today" lol. Just an insight into your soul!
Thanks so much Ryan for your honesty and such description about your old addiction behaviour. Admire your ability to convey the experience so clearly.
Thanks for the sharing Ryan.I to have had to over come alcohol addiction and Iost a lot in my life but it’s good to say I have got it all back and more today with more than 18 year and more of sober days.I love to hear stories of sobriety.Thank you so much I also have a Thai wife but we live in Australia.keep up the good work cheers buddy.Steve !!!
Thanks for sharing Ryan. So very many of us have similar stories. It’s great to be free!!!
Amen Brenda 🙏😊
Great story mate. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you, Ryan, that was such a brilliant vlog.... Thank you for sharing, you are such an amazing inspirational person. Have a great day.
Thank you for today's video. Very honest and open. Wishing you and your family health, happiness and success..
Well done for turning your life around. Inspirational. Life has many chapters and I like you!
Came to Thailand and hit the drink heavy again but have been 6 months sober now. Feel on top of the world! Good message my man
Wow, be proud my friend. Inspiring. What a partnership, what a family you have. Enjoy Ryan. You are a very bright light. 😉. Thanks.
Wow, that's a raw and unfiltered look at a difficult journey. While I'm not an expert, your story reminds everyone that hitting rock bottom isn't the end; it's the start of a climb. Thanks for sharing such a personal experience. #StrengthInStruggles
Congratulations on you man. Im.so happy to see that you conceured your dependency and see you living a real live.
Keep sharing that because it helps perhaps much more than you would ever think of.
I wish you all the best
thanks for sharing that ryan, i had and still have problems which i wont go into too much, i have lost so many friends due to my addictions and depression, i understand everything you have said, keep staying sober, you have a great family and lifestyle now, damo is a rock, your kids will be a great example of both of you, the way you are bringing them up.
Thank you for your honesty. As someone who owns a pub in Thailand, this hit close to home. I dream of a more peacefully life in the mountains one day soon.
Ryan, wow ! That was very raw and insightful. Thanks for sharing. This is a story that every family can relate to.
I’m glad that you have beat addiction and now live a more fulfilling lifestyle.
Stay Safe, and Stay Blessed !
Thank you Douglas - same to you and yours 🙏
As always interesting and thought provoking I'm sure this video will help many people takes a lot of courage to be that honest and open about your previous life. Congratulations on beating the alcohol addiction. It's great to see you in a better happier place with the wonderful Damo and your boys and extended family
I've overcome (personally) a number of battles, and have experienced other's losing their lives to them. I realize how easily one can slip into any of a number of addictive paradigms. I appreciate your channel and honesty, even having had an incredibly different life on the other side of the planet (NYC). Best always, and hope to visit Thailand sooner than later. -ant
I think what hit me hardest about this video was your comment at the end that we sometimes have to grieve the loss of our earlier lives, which may have been more exciting if not a bit more dangerous and certainly more superficial. In a sick way, getting rid of booze helps, because quitting booze successfully requires a complete reimagination of who you are and what your life should be. For you, the shift also seemed to be moving from a fast-paced city to the countryside. But you were wise enough to know that this change would also have to come with a change of your heart.
A 1st time visitor to your channel and absolutely blown away by your very moving, honest story. The way you so clearly articulated the death of the old self was and the rejection you experienced was incredible. I do believe the substances you reference can create a higher state of consciousness and can release people from the prison of the artificial/ego self. Look forward to watching more of your videos. Thank you for sharing
Thanks Guru , I've really enjoyed watching your brilliant videos and will enjoy watching many more.
Take care everyone.
Big respect for being open and honest
Thanks for the share, brother! Yes, the old pals and parties fall away, they aren't on the same frequency anymore, it seems.
I think you can touch people, when grace is ready, you're light shines.
Do you have a specific sponsor or mentor on this leg of your journey?
Thank you Fred - really appreciate it and glad you got something from the share. My mentors are mostly dead, you know the ones 😊, but these days just listening to the inner guide. Hope you are well brother 🙏🙏
WoW what a story ! Happy to hear came through the other end ok - respect 👊
Thank you for your honesty and interesting talk too....
Greetings from South Africa 🇿🇦
Thank you Mary 🙏
Kudos to you for sharing such a personal and touching story!
Wow mate, that was a real in depth look at your past dead ego😮
I have been addicted to cigarettes, alcohol and mj since I was 13, lm now 53. When I was 25 l was addicted to heroin for over a year, then my wife became pregnant so we moved states and went cold turkey, that was hard.
I also became an alcoholic from the age of 40 until 48. I developed a list of physical problems including an enlarged liver, and l decided that l wanted to stick around to help my kids make it through lifes struggles, so l once again went cold turkey.
My only addiction now is smoking and I believe it's the hardest to quit, as l have tried many many times before. But as you said mushrooms, lsd, dmt etc can have a great lasting effect if you can reach ego death. Im going to pick some shrooms tomorrow and give it a crack. My pancreas will thank me for it and I will hopefully be around to see my grandchildren. Thanks for the motivation Ryan 👍❤
Dude Don't Go And Pick Shrooms FFS, Just because some else uses them. Abstinence is the Answer
@@aussiebob7923 you should do some research on psychedelics and addictions mate. Our governments have been suppressing the information for decades because they would rather we all be addicted to morphine and other big pharma toxins. It also helps with ptsd, just ask a veteran who has used it.
Wow, great story of your trials and tribulations with alcohol. Thanks from Seattle.
Thank you for sharing your story. I see simulor lines with my husband in his younger years. You and Damo are perfect.
Incredible vlog and journey fella, what a rollercoaster yet you found your way. The LSD is new to me re alcohol but I've seen much in the way of experiments with LSD & MDMA in prisons back in the day. Agree with thoughts of loss too regarding friends, 'happiness', the social scene, even the social connections built around booze, I've also found close relationships change post drinking. But you have to make the choice as you, sober and peaceful, head held high, or a broken mess spiraling towards our maker.
Would love to hear a little more, as so much resonates.
Best
Thanks for opening up
Will share with a friend who is addicted
Hope it helps 🙏
Your best vlog ever ! 🙏🏼
👏👏👏👏👏👏 👏 A well told life story from a self changed man. We all have a life and a story. Thank you for sharing.
Thankyou for being so honest and authentic ❤
well done 👏 I love the person you have become thankyou for sharing ❤
I also went down the alcohol road, lucky to come out the other side.
Truly wonderful blog ❤️.
I’m 6 months sober & a new person now. You are happier because you are not carrying the burden of guilt. I used to hate myself on the inside, even though like you, I was the life & soul of the party.
You found your way out of the maze. I’m not totally out yet, but I’m getting stronger daily.
Thank you.
God bless you & your magical family ❤️
Regards Tony
Congratulations Tony 🙏😊🇹🇭
You and your family are the best.
Your honesty and tact and your words are always of interest to me.
When I pop on your videos, to watch, it’s a settle on the sofa with a cup of tea and relax moment.
So refreshing to listen to an intelligent honest and genuine person … much love to you all x
I've been a follower atleast 2 years. What always brought me to your vlogs was your honesty. Much respect to you from a fellow expat.
Enjoyed that story lad, keep on keeping on
I love you and Damo and your babies so much I was completely crushed and dumbfounded with Ricky losing his wife so suddenly with two babies😢😢😢. Also to be honest one of the things that kept me coming back to your channel along with everything else was a fact that you were sober being sober over 30 years I can completely understand the before and after and the misery loves company aspect.
that was very strong and honest❤
Had a similar experience Ryan stopped drinking excessively and it kinda of changed everything ie loss of social circles and friendships. I don’t regret the excesses or the decision to curtail them. I just see it all. as part of the journey. Decisions are/were made with the information/wisdom with have at hand at that point in time. Good channel 👍
Brilliantly honest video.
You are a hero. I'm motivated. I
Hello.
This is Thailand and I am here.
I love rain and I was a drunk after the military.
I have been sober for three years and it's very simple for me.
I want to live bro?
Thank you for sharing xxxx
Love you man , love your honesty made me think of my past the things I did badly , the lose of family and friend , things I can never change .🙏👌
I enjoyed see photos of you two in your younger years, you both make a handsome couple. Enjoy the love you have for one another, and be blessed@
Thank you 🙏😊
Appreciate your honesty 🙏🏼
With your story you can give so many people hope to recover ....thank God for mercy over your life ....watching from South Africa
Great video,very honest .
Thankyou for sharing,
I just found your channel yesterday and have been watching quite a few of your videos. You are a cool guy and a lot of what you say resonates with me. I've had similar struggles and found much benefit from plant medicine while in Canada. I'm 36 and spend my winters in Asia, a good amount of that time in Thailand. I'd love to grab a coffee with you someday if I find myself in your general area. Keep it up and keep living the good life you've built for you and your family.
You are blessed because you survived. The experience should show you who and what matters. Take care
Awesome mate I was the same when I was a full time musician I see where your coming from there. I'm an ex veteran so my drinking started before my music career. Cheers for sharing. 🙏
Thanks for sharing brother 🙏
thank you - my sob. date is 12/30/1987
Good work fella,appreciate your lucid honesty.si+
Beautiful
Honest
Share
Thank you 🙏 my Friend
Thanks Nigel 🙏
Can’t believe how much everything has grown….massive growth of the beautiful greenery….and so it is that you too have grown into something new something stronger….
Ryan you are so honest, feel you are telling from the heart, for that I loVe you