ive always been more on the side of like...yeah of course women have the freedom to get whatever work they’d like done in order to boost their confidence, but it really calls into question why do women feel the need to look different in the first place? and it’s the answer to that question that gives me pause above all else. and i don’t think it’s productive to shut up women who don’t support getting work done just because they can or can better abide by current beauty standards. we don’t live in a vacuum and pretending that advertising, capitalism, sexism, and racism din’t play a role in our desire to change is just....missing the point imo. i think back to when i was first made aware of how i could look “better” or feeling like i didnt look good enough and it coincides with preteen age aka when girls start getting heavily advertised to in regards to beauty and fashion. and that process has only sped up ever since the widespread use of the internet and social media. and i do think girls and women have it harder because we’re actively encouraged to purchase makeup all under the guise of looking like our best selves and fixing our various “issues”. truth is there’s nothing to fix. we all look great as we are and i’m not saying that assuage people’s insecurities, but simply because it’s the truth. we are enough as we are, it’s society’s rules (most of which were invented by white men, yeah, let’s not forget that) that have convinced us otherwise.
Dude, even the fact that anti-aging is mainly marketed towards women because men age "hotter" according to society and women on the other hand somehow "lose their worth" as they age..like please, we genuinely need to stop buying into these gimmicks. Like yeah, do whatever you want but at least reflect on it and think about it from all perspectives and then decide if there's actually a reasonable/logical argument to back up what you're doing.
I mostly agree. But we're also in a time where people are preaching are being about being woke and thinking deep yet when you question a big "trend" or movement", your stuck in the old days or non progressive etc. With surgery, all of that, whether people agree that it was started by white men or not, were in a time where women are empowering themselves and doing alot of amazing things. To keep blaming insecurity on the past people and ignoring our faults and ACTIVELY not doing anything about it is bad. Women are really the ones who are creating these standards and creating this hypocritical environment disguised as self love and doing it for "yourself". And while you can blame capitalism, you cant blame that people see a demand there. And these young girls keep seeing all these influencers with surgery's and keep repeating this" I've always had this insecurity, and I do love myself already but this surgery is something I've always wanted' it's false. And little girls are exposed to this thinking and start picking themselves apart. I get the wanting to be confident. But normalizing surgery has been more negative than positive. And even more, health wise it's not ideal for your body. I understand the "corrective" idk what they're called but those surgeries for like cleft plates, or an abnormally large feature that might even affect your health, like crooked noses, sometimes that can interfere with breathing, especially at night. But purely cosmetic, as someone who's interested in human biology and plan to finish my degree to pursue something in the medical field, maybe doctor, not sure yet. But anything forgein in your body that you put in, high potential for negative reactive whether it's right away or not. I like the idea of optimizing our health by addressing root causes and learning to adapt to our endlessly and rapidly changing environment. Quality of life is important, and these type of surgeries I strongly believe can lead to problems long term that decrease quality of life, and it's gonna be hard to address or figure out cause we do so much to our bodies, from what we eat, to breath, products we use, gradually but surely affects. Idk I just went on a rant, but the surgery thing is upsetting to me and I get scared when I have my future kids grow up in this environment seeing so much plastic and perfection and thinking it's normal and fine. I get insecurity doesn't feel good, but I've never felt more insecure in my life than when instagram came along and insta models and all that became something. I'm doing better now. Also idk how to say this, if you've gotten surgery or filler, I get it the pressure, your still a person worth of respect, but I want to give a about out to those who didn't give in and truly learned self confidence and love themselves that you didn't have acorrective surgery. There's very few influencers like that and I wish that would be celebrated and people actually start modeling and become influences by that attitude. Much respect to you guys, especially if you have the money to do these "fixes" but choose not to and don't care. I'd love to see a trend where we truly learn to appreciate our bodies and unique traits. Coming from a girl.
Thank you!!! I always find it weird how people say “I didn’t get this done for other people, I just feel more confident. Society has nothing to do with it.” But no one is making their nose bigger... it’s because of society that having bigger lips or a bigger butt makes you feel prettier. We can’t deny that
More like 12 sometimes. I have 18 year old friends who are getting/considering work done. Talking about all the fine lines (they THINK they have)... and I feel so bad for them cause they truly grew up in an era of TikTok & Instagram users filtering themselves into an uncanny valley of a toddler/21 year old hybrid. Beauty standards are out of control. There's no age, body shape or any state of existence where women don't get told that if they just changed at least one thing they could look better.
I actually really love the small signs of aging that I have started to see on my face. my favorite part of my face right now are my dark under eye circles. I feel lived in. I feel more beautiful at 31 than I ever did at 21. I hated how innocent I looked in my 20s, because I was never taken seriously. Now my life experience shows on my face, and I feel like the way that I look actually reflects how I feel. I feel authentically represented. I am glad that you talked about this, because I think that it is so important.
Sounds nice. I'm 33 and I truly hate aging, especially how much elasticity the skin loses. Too much botox & fillers is even worst though and it's a slippery slope. I guess I'll need to make my peace with the sagging skin
the beauty standards these days are actually ridiculous. and i don't think people realize it is rooted in misogyny. when men get older, society considers that graceful and people love older men. why is it not the same for women? why do women need to look young for a long time? it all goes back to men wanting a youthful appearance because that equates to the age of child bearing. we need to EMBRACE aging and stop making people feel insecure for something that is NATURAL and happens to everybody.
Lol my husband once said to me that if he ages he's going to look even better and he laughed while saying that bc he knows its bullshit. I laughed bc let's not kid ourselves. Old men are old and they look old. And that's ok, but I don't get the notion of men becoming more attractive lolz no they go bald and less attractive. Look at old men, most of them I would not describe as 'attractive'
Just wanted to plug that while yes, Botox derived from a bacterial toxin, it does have very important benefits in the healthcare community other than cosmetics. We use it to paralyze the nerves that innervate the bladder, muscles, and more for individuals who deal with muscle and bladder spasms after injuries, as well as to treat hyperhidrosis and chronic migraines. These were the original uses of Botox before it entered the cosmetics industry. :)
Yes! I get it in my chin to help counteract paralyzed muscles from a skin cancer surgery decades ago. It left me with a lopsided smile that was crushing. The Botox evens things out.
Thank you for pointing this out! Vanity and the toxicity of ageism is a super important topic, but as you said, it’s not the only topic in which Botox has a place. I had absolutely debilitating migraines connected to TMJ a few years ago. The only reason I’m able to function on a daily basis now and am not bedridden with blackouts and dizzying pain is because of Botox treatments from the crown of my head, down the back of my head, into the base of my neck, under my earlobes, and into the masseter muscle on the jawline. It’s unfortunate that Botox has such a seemingly unshakable stigma of vanity around it, since it originated as a legitimate medical treatment. It’s used, and misused, by many people, but that’s not its only usage.
Reminds me of a video from Simplynessa15 when she talks about getting her breast implants removed because she was getting sick from them. She said something along the lines of “I wish I had loved myself more. It would have cheaper to go therapy and learn to love myself more” not to mention save yourself from all the pain and stress. I think about that every time I think about getting a cosmetic procedure done.
I love that you are talking about this. Scary how misinformed people are about all these procedures, muscles wasting away from botox, fillers that stay inside of you for up to 10 years and not 6 months, nose fillers that can make you blind, Brazilian butt lifts that can clog your arteries and we dont know what they will look like in 20-40 years, breast implant illness, etc etc etc BODY DYSMORPHIA that cant be talked about because "you should do whatever you want with your body", propagation of abnormal beauty standards....++++ the financial aspect... are girls going to grow up thinking is normal spending 100s or 1000s of dollars every few months to "be ok" with themselves? So many lower income people save SO much money to get breast implants for example, and then they need an expensive MRI every 1-3 years, they need to change the implants in X amount of years, they might get breast implant illness (hopefully come across the information about it) and then pay for a super expensive surgery to remove them and then relearn how to like themselves... will they have the money? Even if they do, did they have to choose those things over other priorities their money could have cared for? 100% think people should do what they want with their body, but i dont think the conversation should stop there. I feel like people are so afraid of speaking up about this. The truth is that a lot of this procedures comes from low self esteem (wherever it comes from) and it propagates the same things since young girls look at that as the norm and start thinking that a bumpy nose, wrinkles, pores, small boobs, big waist, small bum, small lips etc are not good enough. And where does this stop? I think that those views are what we are fed. I remember being a child/teen and thinking how gorgeous some older ladies are... years later i became scared of that.
I followed nessa through her implant journey, and the end of her journey is what convinced me to not get them. I have a very similar story to hers (noncancer tumors being removed and leaving me scarred) but I am going to love my body for everything she is because she shows what I’ve done
I’m 50, so I’ve had fillers and Botox from probably around 35, but not in the past few years. Once I wanted big cheek bones, because I’ve never had full ones, so I had my face pumped full with filler, and I loved it! Then months later as it dissolved, I realized it had literally stretched my skin and created more wrinkles. It actually made me look much older. I decided to stop doing it because I didn’t want to have to keep getting more forever! It took forever for the elasticity in my skin to come back from it. My advice is dont to anything permanent, because you can’t take it away. And be aware if you start doing fillers and stuff that you have to keep doing it forever to maintain the results. So then you’re literally spending your life trying to maintain a “look”. It’s totally superficial and in the end doesn’t matter at all
@@Michelliellio - I think if you feel like it will enrich your life and make you feel more comfortable with yourself, then it’s your right. We live in a world that is so focused on the external, and I genuinely believe that the way you look can grant you opportunities and even rewards that “less physically pleasing to the eye” people aren’t alloted. So unfortunately often the “best man for the job” is also the best looking, because in business it makes others more comfortable to have the aspired to positions more coveted if the one holding it is aesthetically pleasing. Love yourself for who you are, but if you have something about yourself that you feel is holding you back, then improve it. Just be aware that the actual act of surgery won’t do you any good unless YOU believe and utilize the results!❤️
@@Michelliellio if done by a professional surgeon with a great portfolio it is way more effective than Botox. If not overdone, you get way better results. However it's not risk free. It's a surgery. It involves anesthesia and a scalpel... Things can go wrong like with any surgery. Honestly if you are not a model and your livelihood doesn't depend on your looks, I would try and just make peace with your wrinkles etc. That's what I am trying to do. I have so many 'problems' with my face, if I got work done on everything I would probably be unrecognisable and then I would likely find a new set of things I hate about how I look... Trying to fix things about yourself is a never ending cycle.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It confirms the "big face" trend we are seeing in which people's faces keep getting bigger in order to fill the stretched skin.
I've been following Colleen for about a year and I love everything about her. She is one of the most beautiful human beings inside and out. Major girl crush.
blog.stylewe.com/meeting-women-over-50-fabulous-style/ You'll like these then, but for my money, Daphne Selfe, aged 87, is the clear winner in the batch. lol. X
I'm #47 years old, I have some sagging skin...but, I'm happy to be alive and if someone doesn't like my saggy face, it's their loss. I'm embracing the older & wiser mentality!! 💙💛❤
Thank you for adding this, we age if we’re lucky - I lost a friend to cancer this year and she was in her early to mid 30s. I’ve also lost friends over the years to tragic accidents & the Iraq wars.
I'm not old yet myself but I've always loved crow's feet? I think it's really cute because it shows that a person smiles a lot and smiles with their eyes. It just makes people look so warm and friendly and approachable?
I turned 26 this year and noticed for the first time I have crow's feet when I smile. I cried!! and would sit in front of the mirror staring at them, hating them. I told my mum, and she said the same as you. I've tried looking at it that way and I'm getting there! But your comment really warmed me and made me feel better, thank you ♥
I wonder how differently we would behave if our culture/society made aging feel normal and acceptable. Like... we're a bunch of meat suits that are charged by electricity and eventually they break down and stop working and we die. I want to be beautiful as much as the next person, but I hope we can collectively celebrate age and see the beauty in every stage.
I love that you don’t wear makeup and are confident in your own skin in these videos. It makes you relatable. It makes me feel normal. I still haven’t been able to fully accept my genetic dark under eyes. I still have to cover them with concealer when I have to go run errands. But you make me want to accept them. Thank you! :)
I don't know if this will help anyone, but I'd like to contribute by giving a short account of my botox journey. I started with having injections in my frown lines plus a little extra to relax downward pulling muscles in the forehead. I was enchanted with the results. I literally couldn't frown! I'd looked pretty bad tempered before that day - and now I looked much more 'anodyne'. Me liked! I had those injections, plus some into my platysma muscles to relax that strong ropey look you get when you're quite athletic, and I had them 3 monthly - on the dot! Then lockdown struck. I went without injections for 8 months. At the end of that time, I still had some residual relaxment of those tight muscles, but renewed my injections in September of this year. But something different was happening. After 2 weeks, it became clear to me that my muscles were no longer responding as they had once done. My injector disagreed with me, but my mirror doesn't lie that much when it comes to me glaring at my wrinkles!! Then I noticed something else. Maybe it was there before, but my skin looked softer and slacker than when I had first started injections 18 months before. One reason was possibly because up until my first injections, I'd always practised facial exercises of one sort or another. That had maybe helped keep my face a bit tighter. But then I also began to really think about the fact that unused muscle atrophies. You see, I hadn't done the facial exercises seriously for about a year because I didn't want to disperse the botox too quickly! What was I going to do? First of all, I watched some of the videos on UA-cam put out by the Victorian Institute (Australian based). This doctor has done botox and fillers for years, and has expressed some reservations about administering them over the last year or so. Check out his video on 'when botox stops working', put out a couple of months ago. Link won't take for some reason, sorry! Then I had another look at my face - which is quite clear boned and doing that badly (yet) although the signs of age are gathering. And I decided to simply return to facial exercise: eating better and topping up vitamins for skin, hair and nails; trying to remember to wear sunscreen - and dedicated retinol usage! I figured that that would probably get me about as far as anything else would do. So I'll just have to put up with looking a little hard and angry sometimes, when I really am not. At least I'll have firmish features, and clear bone structure - as well as a bit of slack and some lines. At least I'll look real! I know I'll be able to achieve some things with the contents of my cosmetic bag, because I love all that stuff. And if I feel like rocking a smoky eye at 90, I will do so. X
About the whole "looking like an old hag at 50 while the girls who had botox have aged gracefully" thought, I think it helps to think of your parents or anyone else from an older generation. These people were sunbathing in their 20s (sometimes even using baby oil to get a tan), they most likely did not wear sunscreen on a semi-regular basis and, on top of that, they were lucky if they used a moisturizer. And even with all of that, for the most part they certainly don't look like shrivelled prunes as of today. Of course, Botox and other procedures can potentially help in the long run, but in any case, I think we're overestimating the damage.
yes! this is what i think about when i fear my tattoos will looks like some of the older generation’s do now! we know so much more about maintenance and care that maybe just maybe we’re taking better precautions😌❤️
This is an excellent point! I think specifically of my mother. Both of my parents (who are 70 and 67 respectively, I'm 36) look much younger than they are. I have very vivid memories of my mother spending every summer day sunbathing for hours and getting very dark, especially considering her mostly Irish and Dutch heritage. She does deal with dry skin and rosacea a bit now which could be because of her sun worshipping past but could also just be due to age and genetics.
@@vanessas5426 You're right! However, that depends on your location. Keeping this in mind is more important if you live in Australia where the ozone hole is definitely causing a rise of UV rays (though last time I checked it was getting smaller). The ozone depletion in the rest of the world is still relatively negligible.
“Clean” beauty is a marketing scam though. This idea that we shouldn’t partake in “chemicals” makes zero sense because EVERYTHING is chemicals, including us as human beings. Dr. Dray is a dermatologist and has a UA-cam channel and she has a video that explains why we shouldn’t buy into that “clean” label if you want a medical professional to explain it better. 😄
Yes! "Clean" beauty is nothing but a marketing scam. Insinuating other products are dirty or poisonous. While really the most researched and scientifically proven safe ingredients and formulas are not apart the "clean" category. Preservatives are in products to prevent harmful bactiria, ECT. Absolutely recommend Dr Dray. Her no bs approach is refreshing and easy to digest.
@@bakedcherry Personally, I don’t follow skincare “influencers” unless they have credentials. If I’m looking for information I want the FACTS, not just people sharing their preferences about products. 😂 I’ll go to Dr Dray (a dermatologist) on UA-cam, or Sean Garrette (a licensed esthetician) on Twitter and Instagram.
First lemme just say thank you for filming this! And second, I'm 24 yrs old and immediately got Botox in my forehead right after my 24th birthday. I was so happy and satisfied I even recommended it to my friends (if they were thinking about it). Fast forward a few months, Botox faded. I personally think my "wrinkles" are not even bad. For the price and how long it lasts(with possible side effects long term) I am now questioning if it's even worth it. I have been that person who originally wanted everything done (boob job,nose job,lip fillers etc) and now slowly I'm realizing everyone on Instagram is looking the same. Nothing wrong with that but ya know that "look". I think we are all unaware of how we influence the future generations and now I'm starting to embrace my natural look.
I totally get where you're coming from, but I really think you should do more research and take a step back from this "clean beauty" mentality (which is really just a marketing ploy). Chemicals aren't inherently bad and "natural" isn't inherently good; there are plenty of natural substances that can harm or kill humans, and lets not forget that literally any ingredient used in chemistry is a chemical (including water), so being anti-chemical just doesn't make sense. I highly recommend Lab Muffin Beauty Science as a starting point for lots of these topics (she has a PhD in Chemistry and is a skincare/beauty nerd)! By the way, this isn't me saying you shouldn't question what you put in/on your body, but that you shouldn't feed into clean beauty's anti-science rhetoric, cuz it's honestly super toxic and simply based in them wanting to fearmonger consumers so they can make more money.
Also, regarding your questions about Botox's safety, Botox is actually one of the safest cosmetic procedures you can receive as the research and data behind its use is quite thorough compared to newer substances (Botox has had FDA approval for almost 20 years). As long as you receive treatment from a board certified dermatologist or plastic surgeon, it's very low risk because the amount of the actual toxin used in cosmetic procedures is so low (i.e. don't inject pure, undiluted botulinum toxin directly into your veins). In fact, no one has ever died from professional Botox treatment and only 36 cases of adverse reactions were reported in a 14 year period. Cosmetic chemists and researchers aren't out here to purposefully harm people, it's quite the opposite. So while I'm not advocating for or against people getting Botox (that's a 100% personal decision), I just don't want you to fall into the clean beauty "chemicals are bad" mentality because a) that doesn't make sense and b) proper scientific research actually makes cosmetics SAFER. TL;DR: If you receive treatment from an experienced, board certified, and well-reviewed dermatologist or plastic surgeon (and not just some random med spa with a groupon), Botox is safe.
@@rebelaz botox hasn't been around as long so I don't think it's safe to assume theres no long term affects. 70 , even 100 years isn't long. Humans have been around for 1000s of years, we can see with technology how rapidly and advanced it's become in the past 200 years, even more in the past two decades, were just now realizing the negative aspects and how negative is can be, like with social media. Were gonna need to more time to see how botox, and all these surgeries play out. Everything we put inside and outside or bodies affects us. Whether it's in a good or bad way, quick or slow. While I'm sure there's companies trying to profit just off the label clean beauty I don't think it's a bad idea to take that more seriously. Some people have more sensitive skin, and. Cant handle all the ingredients inside most products, and honestly even though my skin isn't sensitive. I'd much rather use products for sensitive skin. But anyways, well just see what happens over time
When you mention that you didn’t wanna put chemicals on your face, it instantly rang my bell. Chemicals are all around you. Water is a chemical. Don’t worry about that type of a thing. If you have any concerns, seeing a dermatologist and getting the right products for you is the best thing you can possibly do for your skin and for aging.
Oh come on, when people say this you know that they mean man-made/synthetic chemicals. Stop nitpicking when you know the intention of what the person is saying. 🙄
@@rebeccaorlando9815 okay but here’s the deal. She can’t avoid chemicals. She has nothing to fear. “Natural” bs products aren’t better. They can be worse. Trust me.
She's probably talking about the ones that can cause DNA damage and reproductive harm, among other things. 🤔 Like the ingredients banned in Europe because they have been shown in studies to be harmful but which the US still allows.
@@rebeccaorlando9815 Skincare products are mostly made of chemicals synthesized by people in factories. This kind of broad hand-wave-y rhetoric is damaging to people's scientific understanding of how this stuff works, and can lead people to fall into scams and traps that target people worried about "chemicals" and "toxins" so they go to "clean/natural" beauty products that sometimes have even less testing
I will always find a graceful older woman more beautiful than a woman who has had any kind of plastic surgery, fillers, or botox. It is always visible and apparent. Take French women for example. They like to show a bit of imperfection, some wrinkles, natural skin, no heavy makeup. But they can be so elegant and stylish. A little bit of knowing what suits you and a lot of confidence. Nothing beats that, not even youth.
As a woman at Level 53, I am starting to cringe at the phrases about aging gracefully or elegantly. They hint at expectations of what and how women should be, again. There is a hint at superiority - as if not getting treatments is better than getting treatments. I know that isn't what you meant... but would like to have a conversation on how we can change the phrasing to be less "this is is the definition of graceful" and "graceful is better than not graceful"... It reminds me of the old Seinfeld episode in which Elaine exclaims to be graceful. hahahahahah
@@tijanaboskov8108 It's long.... And I'm not picking your comment apart on a personal level but it's brought up something that's been on my mind for a long time so I hope you and others will engage with me on this. Why does there have to be an adjective? Does having a treatment or surgery mean someone is not sophisticated or at least doesn't look sophisticated? No. It doesn't. While some treatments can look pretty subtle and good in the middle years, if one has had continuous treatments for a few decades the skin can look odd at best and sometimes awful in the later years. But some who get treatment don't care what they look like at 70... they want to look amazing at 50. OK. But when we are talking about what we like to see in others - and perhaps that's the bit that is really getting to me that I just realized - we should be able to simply say that we think that skin that hasn't had treatment looks healthier in the elderly. But adjectives like graceful (= pleasing) are thrown around and add a further layer to the misogyny in that those who say it usually don't mean just without surgery or treatment but indeed with an ideal in mind like your example: " Take French women for example. They like to show a bit of imperfection, some wrinkles, natural skin, no heavy makeup. But they can be so elegant and stylish. " I have watched dozens of videos on what French women do to look so great so I am right there with you. And what I learned is that it's not as easy to look that good as we think it is.. It's still a contrived look in many ways. Regardless... what about the women who don't get surgery or treatments but aren't stylish or show too many imperfections or simply don't care to do more than stay clean and go about their lives? Are those who are graceful "aging better" than they are? Is this a competition? This is where it gets muddy and where we can see we've all been conditioned in some way to have expectations of what the right or the best or the classiest should be. When we label like that we are slamming, in some way, the women who don't fit OUR expectations. And we don't want them to do that to us, do we? I just want to dissect the narrative and conversation that is out there about this. Like telling women they look young for their age confirms that aging is bad and youthing is good, expecting women to age a certain way confirms that we still can't do what we want without criticism... Just look at Madonna and others who are while they are aging - as does every human - they are queens of badassery... And they get absolutely slammed because they don't fit some idea of how a woman in her 60s should look and act. Let's make this an act of feminism and freedom and release all of us from these chains. You be graceful if you want. I think I'll do awkward badassery. :)
I'm biracial (Black/white) and I feel a lot of pressure not to age because of the "Black don't crack" idea. So now that I'm 30, and I have smile lines and some wrinkles on my forehead- it makes me feel more removed from Blackness. Black femmes bodies are already scrutinized so much, and now that I'm getting older, I'm aware how ageist stereotypes can be amplified given different identities.
Of course everyone can do whatever they like with their bodies (I’ve gotten Botox before) but the reason we feel like we need to, or that we feel more confident when we get it, is that we’re all trying to make it in a misogynist world where women are listened to/appreciated/uplifted/paid attention to in society only if they present as attractive to the male gaze, which prioritizes youth (among other things). Women “past their prime” are often discarded or completely desexualized, they lose their “value” in the eyes of a society that cares more about our bodies than the fullness of who we are as women. The more we keep going along with these toxic beauty standards the more we make ourselves into agents of our own oppression under patriarchy and capitalism, and the more we sell out all other women who will need to do the same to “keep up”. It’s vicious, man.
Class plays into this SO much. My mom for example has gotten some stuff done, and it was mostly to stay employable. She doesn’t have an education and nobody wants to hire women that look “old and tired” especially in her industry (cannabis). That goes for professional women too, of course, but There’s nothing to fall back on for working class people. Ironically I see wealthier people getting less work done as they age because they don’t really need to keep up appearances to survive.
Somewhere there’s a parallel universe where signs of aging are admired and looked forward to. Imagine how dope that must be. No for real, like imagine it, what a different world that must look like lol
So, I'm 21 and generally I'm located in southern USA. Right after I turned 20, I got my b--bs done, because I had severe asymmetry - one was a B cup, the other was a DD, and neither of them were 'perky' (i believe the small one was called a 'tubular' bre-st). I always wanted to get them done because like, *nothing* would ever fit me right. It's not like there's clothes made for asymmetrical chests and even if there were, it's not like anyone would wear it, because that's just not a widely desirable look. I would have to wear a DD bra and stuff the other cup and it never sat right. In my prom dresses and swim suits, my mom, bless her heart, would sew in a 'chicken cutlet' so I could appear even. It was a horrible hassle and I could never, ever feel pretty. And any time I wanted to be intimate with a person, I'd have to break the news like "hey so, my chest is uneven, there's nothing medically wrong it just looks drastic, hope you're ok with that before proceeding" and like it was so. Embarassing. So I had to have four different operations done (I went one state over to a really experienced plastic surgeon who also used to be a nerve surgeon before going into plastics, which made me feel better for some reason). I had a lift in both, a reduction of tissue in the larger one, resizing of my are-las, and then sub-muscular implants. The implants are two different sizes, and they're teardrop 'gummy bear' implants (a softer and safer kind of silicone). The day after when I was awake enough to look at myself, I was completely mortified. They sat SUPER high up, they were rock hard, and they still seemed uneven but just opposite to before. He did warn all of these things would happen and that they would take a month or two to 'settle', and he was right! It'll be two years this coming spring, and they now look like the chest I was 'supposed' to have. They're DDs, they're proportionate to my body type, they sit in a really natural way, if a a stranger were to squeeze one they'd have no clue they were fake. I do have scarring, but that's probably on me for not using my cream like I was meant to (they used to be bright pink and have already faded to my skin tone). I can sit around my house without wearing a bra and not feel an uncomfy unequal distribution of weight. Heck, I can go to the store without a bra and not feel uncomfy! Best money I've ever spent, best decision I've ever made. I don't think I could possibly be happier with how it turned out. As for filler or botox - I've decided to swear off of that stuff until I'm, like, actually 'old' (50? 60?). I just have to wonder what it's going to do in the long-term to the people who are getting tons of both so young. Will it make it 'worse' for them when inevitable signs of aging come through? (Hope you don't mind all the censoring, I've heard YT is being more strict on flagging certain words as problematic and I wanted to avoid being thrown in the 'review' pile lol)
For starters those young people getting Botox are going to spend so much money !!! And they don’t even need to! I think it might honestly backfire where it’s filling gaps , creating space where there wasn’t any before that now have to continue evening filled!! I don’t actually know but that what I imagine - I could be wrong
I also had two different size breasts. Putting shoulder pads in one bra cup so they would appear more even. I had a reduction of the larger breast and a lift. I was happy to have a smaller chest. It’s been almost 15 years and I still love my small breasts! I’m glad I didn’t go with implants! 😊
I am brown skinned and from India, skin colour is a big deal here and throughout my entire childhood I wanted to go full MJ and change my skin colour. Also, I have full lips, love them now, but thin lips were and still appreciated by the people around me (friends & family) and I really wished they'd somehow disappear. There's a lot more I wanted to change about me and I passionately wanted to do that till I was 16 atleast, only then did I start seeing people with a large platform online being comfortable in their own skin (strict parents so no internet at all till then) and started accepting and loving myself.....still a long way to go but it's thanks to people like you that I could get started on this journey
You are beautiful! You don't need to change anything. Don't let other people dictate how you view yourself. There is a reason why everyone looks different. Because of everyone looked the same we would all look like we came out of a printer machine. And it would be boring. Love yourself.
I am 66. I have let my grey hair grow in and I love it. I used to dye it auburn which worked for a while but now the dark grey with silver steaks looks healthier and complements my skin tone so much better. I tried Botox once and it really didn’t do much. I have deep 11 ‘s after 66 years of creating those lines, which most people don’t focus on...so I live with them. Appreciate your 30, 40, 50, year old face. Do the best you can taking care of you skin and body and become more than your appearance. In the long run beauty is in a smile. In a generous spirt. In a kind heart. You are gorgeous, talented, bright, curious and authentic. That is beauty.
I’m 38. I haven’t had anything done but, I think about Botox a lot. I actually just started doing makeup, I don’t love it for the look as much as I love it for the act of it, which is how I found you and why I connect with you so much. I learn a shit ton from you. I don’t know what I’m going to do, I have learned that for myself, I don’t ever want to put myself in an “absolutely” or “never” category, it puts too much pressure on me to live up to an arbitrary standard instead of going with my own flow and listening to what I actually want, what is good for me, and not just staying in a lane to say I’m in that lane. Botox, just like most things, stays in the maybe category until I feel 100% sure it’s something that’s going to make things better. Love this, love that you make these videos when your brain is in the “flow” it’s awesome and I will gladly ride your coattail of creativity in a time where my creative outlets have been all but decimated due to the pandemic. Love always, Meghan
I’m 60 and I’m actually scared to go out without makeup. I appreciate you not always wearing makeup and to me you are brave and smart!You are an excellent role model for all people- Thank you!
I'm so glad I found your beauty channel and now this! I've been more insecure when it comes to my age. Especially with everyone getting filler and Botox. I saw wrinkles around my mouth pop up overnight and I'm extremely insecure about it now. I've been looking at pictures of when my face was plump and full. Wishing I would have been more appreciative of myself and I'm way more confident than I was when I was younger. So seeing people my age with filler and Botox I think maybe I'm not aging so well and they are. Maybe I didn't listen to dermatologists about sunscreen and sleep.
Lol. Relatable. About the pictures. Never too late to start taking better care of your/our health and skin, though. I hope you digest and integrate this insecurity soon, letting it fuel your confidence rather than letting it tear you down even a little. ❤
I've been getting kybella, 3 sessions in, because my double chin is the bane of my existence. I'm a fan of "natural" but I've obviously crossed over into the I-get-cosmetic-procedures group. My thought is always "I'm gonna die one day anyway might as well be happy while I'm here." so I feel like if botox or anything else makes you happy, do it. But if it gets to be an obsession or you're always after the next tweak, I think it's a problem.
@@allygarr8928 so I went to "one of the most highly regarded board-certified plastic surgeons in New York City", according to her website. She measured my double chin and estimated that I'd need 4 sessions. I just did session 3 on Monday. The only progress I've truly noticed is my chin and jawline are more defined, and the submandibular fat that used to be dense and thick is now squishy. Which I think means this most recent injection will dissolve a lot of the squish {I hope.} They apply a numbing cream to the area after cleaning with an alcohol swab, then they do the injection in various spots of the area. The 1st session HURT, not the needle pricks so much but the kybella itself. It just floods the area and it feels like acid or something. I actually had trouble walking after, I was so overwhelmed. I was swollen pretty bad, I iced the area for 2 and a half days and it went down. The area stayed pretty tender and sore upon touching for awhile. The 2nd session was 6 weeks later, and was a breeze It didn't hurt much at all and hardly swelled. This 3rd session was 6 weeks after the 2nd. It wasn't as bad at the 1st session, but it was worst than the 2nd. The flooding acid feeling went all the way to the back of my head and it seemed my skin was more sensitive to the needle. And I got pretty swollen again. But it's Friday and while I still have some swelling, it doesn't hurt unless I really press into the area. I'm hoping I see a lot of change over the next couple of weeks, but I've been telling myself that the doctor has done this procedure before, and if she tells me I need 4 sessions, then I probably need all 4 to get the results I want. Sorry for the long winded response, I just couldn't find many personal anecdotes about it when I started, so I wanted to be as thorough as possible.
I love this. I am 24 and i have DEEEEEEEEP set lines on my forehead. A gal is expressive. Botox boosted my confidence 110%, my forehead was smooth as a baby's ass ... for 3 months. It was an exhausting feeling when it wore off, knowing I would have to pay $300 dollars multiple times a year. I really appreciate this video, and learning to love my expression lines
My mom & aunt talk about this constantly. They're in their mid 50's and according to them, their eyelashes won't grow as long, and the mascara formula they used for decades no longer wants to work with them and just ends up running all over the place. Eyeshadow is impossible to keep on and they feel like makeup just isn't the same for them anymore.
My thoughts: I had a very small chest, and growing up, it was AWFUL. I felt deformed and ugly. I saved and saved. and finally got the chance to get breast implants (when i was 23), and i have never regretted it. Not for a nanosecond. HOWEVER...like you said, i did it for ME. Not because i wanted to fit a mold, or compare with others. I just did not feel like my physical appearance matched how i felt like i looked. Does that make sense? I feel like reasons are important, and A LOT of self-reflection needs to go into making the decision. Regarding wrinkles, i am hoping to one day get the vertical line between my eyebrows smoothed out. (i would say "my elevens", but i inly have one LOL) But my OTHER wrinkles, i love. My crows feet COME ALIVE when i smile and laugh...and that is one of my favorite things about my face. My daughter (13) frequently says how cute she thinks wrinkles, and crow's feet, and smile lines are. She thinks old people are just as cute as babies. I love her perspective, and i make an effort to see myself through that lens everyday. ***EDITED TO ADD: i also LOVE my stretch marks. After 4 babies, i have quite a few. I love how silvery they are, and they stand out SO BEAUTIFULLY when i'm tanner in the summer. I could never get rid of them...they are my gifts from my children that i will have forever.*** A little story...one day about a year ago, i had just gotten out of the shower, and i was standing naked in front of the mirror. I was having a "down-on-myself" kind of day, and i said to my husband. "i'm getting OLD." (i'm 47) He looked at me, came over and hugged me and said, "Yep. So am i. We said a long time ago that we wanted to grow old together, and now we're doing it." Then he smiled and kissed me. We've been together for 28 years, and he's a blessing.
One more point...while i think that it is important to understand that to GET surgeries and other procedures for the wrong reasons is bad, i also feel that NOT getting them done for the wrong reasons is equally bad. I've heard so many women say "i want to get ______ done, but my boyfriend/husband won't let me." WTAF?! Or people decide not to do it because the people in their lives tell them that getting stuff done means they're vain, or just want attention, or whatever. This kind of shaming is not ok either. Sorry i'm so wordy; i'm a talker IRL too. LOL
So you guys married young? How was it? I feel like now people don’t usually marry young and a lot of relationships dont last. I’m so happy for you guys!
In general there’s been less intensive research in female dominated health and medical related issues. Considering the consumers are primarily female, it makes sense we don’t know much about it.
Hi Alx, I just wanted to say that I love your channels and you! I'm 48 and I totally get what you're saying about aging. As a teenager, I had horrible acne, and I have some scarring that I'm really self conscience about. I try to use makeup to cover it, and that works well, but in my head, all I see is the scars. A couple years ago, I decided I was going to stop focusing on it. Also, I'm aging and I'm getting those wrinkles you're talking about. Being 48, I have to say, I'm aging really well, but the wrinkles are slowly starting to appear. So, I'm taking the , I'm not going to focus on them stance. I do notice them, but Hell I earned them and I'm going to ROCK them! You're beautiful, I'm beautiful, Be Beautiful! Wrinkles, scars and all. Much love! Shannon
Hi Alex! That's a great topic and I'm glad you're talking about it. I would like to comment on what you said in 10:05 where you advice that the people deciding for surgery should ask themselves if this is what they really want and if they are doing it for themselves. I would say, the better question is "why are they really doing this?". I think the majority of people going into surgery is pretty much 100% sure that this would make them happy, and also almost everyone going into surgery is convinced that they are doing it for themselves. All I can hear from these people is: "I'm doing it only for myself, I really want this! I always wanted this! I was bullied... I want to feel better in my body". And than everyones answer is "if that makes you happy - do it". But there is a lot of toxic behaviours coming along with these types of actions . First of all I believe that the honest answer to the question "why are you doing surgery?" is : "I want men to want me", "I want to feel power over men and woman", "i want to be better than others" , "I want to be prettier than others", "i believe my looks are the only thing that i've got", "I just want to be pretty". Most of woman that make these surgeries don't really dive deep into these thoughts... They just stop at "I want it, I will be happier with bigger boobs, bigger lips, nicer ass etc"... Women that go and make these ridiculous surgeries (like Kardashian) create a problem for other women in the world and also create a huge problem for the feminism movement. These girls instead of taking action and teaching society and people around them that we are all human, that we have character, that we have talent, that everyone has a heart and everyone is unique, that we are all diverse and that looks HAVE TO be different (not everyone has to have a big ass, small waist and huge lips) - these girls instead of making an impact - they go and change their looks, they obey society rules (mostly invented by men) and make the situation WORSE for every woman out there struggling with acceptance! They make other woman feel less, becuase they create this vision that looks are all that matter in a woman! And I'm really sad that public people like kardashians instead of making a change in the world, instead of empowering woman they are making the situation worse: objectifying woman, sexualising woman, not teaching anyone any real values instead of shopping and looking good for men. Also they would never teach anyone that with your brains, with your character or, mostly important - with your heart - you can make greater impact than just with your appearance. Sorry for a long post and my english lol
I find that taking care of my skin is much like dieting, everything in moderation and lots of common knowledge. I’m 48 and to the point where you were talking in your video about getting older and getting more wrinkles and dryer skin. I’m ok with wrinkles, I have to be, they’re gonna be there whether I like it or not 🙄 However, I choose to age gracefully by eating clean, drinking lots and lots of water, cleansing my face twice a day, using quality skin care products that will help slow down the aging process, sunscreen, etc. I’ve also chosen to go the route of microneedling (vampire facial) and a surgical procedure to remove the extra skin on my eyelids and removing the fat pads from under my eyes to get rid of my inherited under eye bags. About the Botox, I’ve never really thought about it but I’ve seen celebrities on tv that look terrible 😬😧 They have these weird permanent smiles on their face and their lips barely move when they talk. But as a wise man once said, never say never 🤷🏻♀️
I am also wanting to get my hooded eyes lifted! And also i am like you, doing what i can to stay ahead of things but in general, embracing the process.
That’s I think kind of where I’m at. I’m almost 41 and Sondierung getting Botox only in that frown line area (is that what they call Elevens?) Could not care less about crows feet etc. I don’t want to hide my age. I just dislike how the frown lines make me look grumpy. Same for possible future eyelid procedures - if they start to feel like they’re just weighing everything down that I can tell in my field of vision or something, I would totally get that fixed. Again, not to appear younger. I never got to meet my mother in law, as she died at age 52. I gladly embrace signs of aging because they’re testament to me being alive.
I'm 31 and was shocked to learn (from Vanderpump Rules) that people in their mid to late 20s were getting botox. I started having the mindful conversation with myself too. I thought it was unnecessary for people so young to do it until I really started to take notice in the fine lines in my face and everything else I dislike about it. In a nutshell, I can't justify spending money on it for myself. To each their own, but I have a hard enough time convincing myself that it's okay to spend $200 on a really great haircut and color once or twice a year for MY OWN self esteem. With that said, if money wasn't an obstacle for me, I still have a hard time with the idea of letting go of using facial expressions, which is very much a part of my character in how I tell stories and make people laugh. So when I stare at myself under a microscope, I really try to remind myself that they show my character and my history (because even my uneven eyebrows have a great story behind them) and it gives me an opportunity to love that part of myself instead of resenting it. However, I still have MANY moments of insecurity that make me wanna do it anyway. Maybe that's a natural reaction or maybe that's a deeper part of me that fears aging. I actually am afraid of getting so old to where I can't take care of myself. So maybe that deeper fear triggers me to want to suppress the signs of aging at face value. But I'm also a perfectionist/artist that gets annoyed with looking at my own asymmetrical face on a daily basis soooo that's the more immediate response I'm having. But going back to younger people getting their face done...again, to each their own, but I definitely noticed that I probably wouldn't have considered botox had I not learned about people my age and younger getting it done. I thought maybe it was just an L.A. thing that I didn't have to get involved with but then I have friends of friends who had it done and THEN it became a topic of "hmm, will I be the oldest looking 31 year old in a room of 31 year olds?" Which is dumb...because in my experience, all my students think I'm a teenager. So I really shouldn't need to consider botox, but here I am overthinking it.
I'm 19. When it comes to fillers and other beauty related surgeries, I'm scared of unconsciously following a beauty standard of the current time. The thought of getting something done has occured to me but even then (and until now) its really hard for me to decipher whether I've considered it because I truly think that it will make me more confident/feel good about myself or if it slipped my mind because my features isn't in line with the standard that's being pushed and labeled by social media as "beauty". I'm scared of unconsciously conforming to what's currently the beauty standard knowing that that standard will continue to change.
I'm 23 years old and I feel the same way. I'm scared that if I decide to do it that I won't actually be doing it for the right reasons for myself but for others and their approval which isn't at all what I want or need.
I am 19 too and same. a few months back, everyone on tiktok was getting lip fillers and I suddenly wanted to. I had to take a step back. I realized that i wanted to do it because that's the current trend. Social media can be extremely damaging. I am still working many things on myself.
I was so happy Wayne Goss used models of all ages in his makeup marketing. It often feels like women over 30 are invisible these days and forget it if you are over forty. It’s not a good feeling. But at the same time, I get taken more seriously professionally than I ever have. It’s a weird push/pull. I have been considering getting something done just on my 11 lines . I haven’t done it yet though because it makes me a little nervous. Also my husband really doesn’t want me to, it scares him and he loves me the way I am.
The question for me is why we are constantly in the hunt for eternal youth or a standard of beauty. Obviously there is a whole issue of consumerism in this, but I think we should focus more on the beauty of each stage in our lives, even though personally I am terrified of getting old and not being able to fend for myself, I also think that the ephemeral of our lives is what makes them valuable. (forgive me if it's misspelled, English is my second language)
"the ephemeral of our lives is what makes them valuable" is so beautifully said! I couldn't agree more. There is beauty in every stage, and I'm excited to see it evolve.
Well said! Especially since english isn't your first language! 🙌🏼 We should be more focused on taking care of our health so that we can enjoy getting older!
i just LOVE hearing you talking, it's like angels to my ears hahaha okay, the point: i'm 26, and i've never thought to put botox or something like that. BUT, I've thought so many times to have a nose job. Why? Because I have aquiline nose??? Man, the perfect nose does NOT exist!! And now the stereotype is to have a little striaght nose and... Who knows how's the beauty standards gonna be in 25 years??? I have a hang up due to my nose, but I don't see necessary a surgery. Great talk
@Joana Coelho exactly!!! If I'd do that, I just would be another "beautiful" girl with nothing special. What makes my face special is my nose.. I hate it sometimes, but it's what makes the face more attractive, so... Nope, I refuse to change it. Thanks a lot for the comment 💗
Not sure if someone said anything similar, I'm late to the video as a new sub. As a 43 y/o woman, my wisdom is this. Enjoy what you have now. Because in 10 to20 years you will have bouts where you think to yourself, "I wish I had thought better about about my "__" because I was so "insert positive comment" and didn't realize it." Love yourself today and every day.
Loved this! Thank you for sharing! Keep J-lo and Gwen Stefani's lifestyle in mind, both over 50, ate like health-nuts, lots of exercise, no alcohol, emulate that and you've done what's best for your precious body. Sending love to all!
20. Guy. The only thing I've considered getting done is a brow lift. I have semi-hooded eyes and pretty low 'man brows'. I know when I'm old it'll sag and i might wanna do something about it. But it's different because that's permanent and also not injecting something into your body. Neither botox or filler is something I'd consider in the foreseeable future.
I’m 20. Throughout highschool, it made me feel like an outcast for not caring much for botox, nose jobs, boob jobs, etc. It made me doubt myself and wonder if I’m a slob for not “caring” about how I look. I’ve always been one to not care about external opinions, but that doesn’t mean I don’t doubt myself every now and again. A lot of my focus has shifted from how I LOOK to how I FEEL. For example, I focus on how exercising makes me FEEL. I do not exercise solely for the fact that it makes me look better - I use it as a way to escape work, school, stress, etc. Another example is dressing for comfort, not for looks. I truly no longer care about how I appear to others. Life is too short to wear uncomfortable clothes. The only thing that matters to me is the quality of relationships I have with other people. If you surround yourself with people that only care about how THEY look, chances are that you’ll start to think the same way (or will be GREATLY affected by these thoughts). I’ve learned that the easiest way to start ‘not giving a f*ck’ is to evaluate WHO is around you, what you ACTUALLY mean to them, and ask yourself if they ACTUALLY care if you have a crooked nose or a gap in your teeth. Thanx for the content Alx ♥️
I'm 23 and I always feel torn between wanting to accept myself for who I am and what I look like, and wanting to take control and make myself into the person I want to be. 🤔
I haven’t finished watching the video, but actually I saw a video on TikTok only a couple days ago were a lady was talking about how She got preventative Botox and how it aged her face and showed some recent studies that showed some negative aspects of using preventative Botox and encouraged her followers to really think it through if they had it in mind. The response she got was SO SAD, people were being so rude left and right, being all “you don’t know what you’re saying, stop discouraging people don’t be silly!!”...she was only sharing her personal experience! It was insane!
I’m glad you talked about Botox and fillers. I’ve been seriously thinking of getting a nose filler but never heard too much of the side effects before. It is scary to imagine it never fully dissolving and there’s no way to see if it moved around your face. I am so glad you talked about this, because yeah I’ve only heard good things about fillers from other you tubers.
You're a breath of fresh air !! I love the way you think !! ( And I love the makeup free aspect of this channel! Nothing is really prepared and it feels so raw and authentic ) thank you !
I love this conversation. I appreciate the free flowing thoughts. It is refreshing to hear how you feel about this because I have had those same thoughts.
I'm 48 and have taken pretty good care of my skin, but wish I would have been better with sunscreen in my 20's. I have never considered botox because I love being able to emote my expressions. I've never surrounded myself with people who put any expectations on my appearance. I ignore cultural/advertising messages regarding women and aging. As I've aged, I've come to love the changes in my face. I feel far more confident in my skin than ever before. I do take skincare seriously, so I am keeping my skin as healthy as possible for as long as possible. That being said, aging is going to happen so why fight it tooth and nail. I have too much to fight for and trying to Dorian Gray myself doesn't seem like a high priority for me. I want to look the best I can for my age, not necessarily reverse aging. I also have more respect for my whole body/mind in my 40's and I want to treat it with care and respect. I love seeing faces that show life, even if it's been a weathered life. It's all beautiful to me.
I’m 21 & everything you’ve said here resonates with me so much. I’ve always been a part of the Itty Bitty Titty committee & so breast implants have been on mind since high school but I’m constantlyyy going back & forth for the same reasons you’ve stated. It’s like, I hate that I feel like I’m missing something other women have but also, why am I unable to not compare myself to other women? Makes me wish our society was different & these procedures weren’t so normal & almost expected as standard... but I’m also a nurse & love that modern medicine can help people feel so confident... the paradoxes just never end for me
I like your nose and your under eyes. You’re beautiful with it, I also have dark circles. And a lot of people have unique nose shapes. Your nose is cute💕Please continue to love yourself Alex! I’m so proud of you how you have gained more confidence over the years! 😊❤️
I’ve had cosmetic surgery and Botox. I love my results. I absolutely love that we are able to have these options. It’s not for everyone. I started Botox due to having extremely horrible migraines. Added bonus, it helps lift my very hooded eyes. To me, it isn’t about aging; it’s about putting myself first. No different, in my opinion, than dying your hair.
I appreciate this conversation because I’ve been struggling too with this topic. I fear not being valued as a woman if I don’t look a certain way. I fear being invisible. Then I look at my mother and I see how beautiful she is and that makes me feel okay again.
I’ve been following you on IG for awhile because of your makeup but your Vieve tut showed up on my recommendations on UA-cam and now I’ve found this. I am hooked! I love your opinions and the way you do things! Keep it up!
i love your talks so much, i am so glad you made this channel and discussing all these topics. it genuinely feels less lonely to know that there are other people actively thinking about this and reassuring that there is someone willing to just have a discussion about it. i have been watching your content for a while know and I'm really grateful for all the videos you put out there, you're a genuinely good influence and the big sis vibes are so strong with this one:)) i respect your work so much and just wanted to say thank you. i never really looked at myself the way I do now that I have found out more about beauty, make-up and all that. i am so much more aware of so many things, and while it is good in a way, it was also a reason for me to lose some confidence (working on that "no fucks given" attitude though). some parts of me I can never change unless I do surgery, but that scares me so much. i just entered my twenties and I feel like I should enjoy it more, that I should be less at war with myself and focus more on things that are in my power to change. on the other hand , I can't say that it is easy. oftentimes, I feel like we are the hardest to please, and we just use other people as an excuse - "i' ll point it out and do smth about it before someone else says it"- to reference your other video. life is fun though, and it should be enjoyed, how we do that is an individual part, but change should come from a place of "positivity" rather than the opposite. i feel like that is how you end up with no/little to no regrets.
i really liked your thoughts on this topic. i had grown up believing in like natural beauty and things and saying i would never ever get anything done. i am 19 and earlier this year i started watching youtube videos on lip filler and other procedures and suddenly i was like "should i get lip filler?" "all these people have lip filler and they are pretty". the thing about influencers is that they actually DO influence our decisions. i believe what people say online by default almost. so when an influencer tells me about how great cosmetic procedures are, i kind of start to believe it myself. i'm not sure that is healthy. it's nice to hear this topic discussed more openly. i feel like online there is some sort of stigma in speaking even slightly negatively about plastic surgery and things of that sort because we are supposed to support everyone's choices. i think we can still support everyone's choices while talking about how we personally feel about these things.
I know this isn't the main topic of your video, but it's really nice to listen to how your self confidence grew over time. I wish I understood how important that was when I was younger. I was (and still am at times) very, very insecure and not comfortable with who I was growing up, but because I was home with my family, I never felt a need or felt like it was important to improve my confidence. Of course, it ended up backfiring when I moved to the city for college lol. I had to learn how to live, work, and make friends/network by myself, and in the process, I ended up letting myself be pushed around by others & in relationships. I also became very dependent and desperate for other's approval, even though I wasn't self aware of it. If there was one thing I wish I could've changed about my past, it would be learning how to be secure with who I was. I thought self confidence was such an internal thing, and never knew how it could affect so many external factors in my life. Yes, there are things physical things it affected like spending so much money on 'the best' make up and skin care and clothes. But also just not feeling confident to talk to strangers, letting myself be pushed around by people, not understanding how to set boundaries in relationships because my feelings were so dependent other's accepting me. Anyway, I don't know if that's something you have to live through to learn, but I think even if I just heard more people talk about it like this when I was younger, maybe it would have clicked sooner and not caused so much adversity. :(
At 39, I’m starting to feel very self conscious about my forehead lines, lines around my mouth and lips, and my under eye area looks like a scrotum. I never cared as much as I do now. While I would like to change lots of those things, I am trying to be ok with it. I am nowhere even close. I think a lot of my facial aging concerns come from being overweight my whole life. I hate my body. My face was the one thing I was ok with and seeing it start to change in ways I don’t like has been a real kick in the gut.
Lmao my under eye area looks like a scrotum. O my God, judging by your profile pic you look beautiful! But thanks for making me laugh. I know this cliche to say but we are own biggest critics.
I had a very similar experience with my under eye filler. I had lost a lot of weight and as is I've always had hallow under eyes, so the weight loss made it look significantly worse. I ended up getting under eye filler twice, and let me tell you, my dark circles are much worse now than they were before. I'm not exactly sure why, I'm assuming it's because the skin is so thin and perhaps a vessel was hit during the process. Needless to say, I'm really glad you made this video. This all needed to be said, and I thank you for going against the grain.
Hey Alex, I'm 17. I've never really hated the way I look nor was I bullied or ridiculed. But social media had me thinking completely different. Just the way people look on social media that fit into the beauty standards according to society, which too keeps fluctuating. But the worst part was that when I would go on Instagram and see all these posts on my explorer page from cosmetologists promoting all these surgeries, saying it's safe, the before and after shots, the remarks from the patients saying it had changed their lives and stuff, all this at some point actually made me consider to do something on my face? When I've never had any problem with it till now? Just seeing things like that everyday constantly made me find "faults" and "flaws" with everything that was me. But thank God I have really good people around me, so I didn't end being swallowed into that blackhole. But I must say it was really hard to go back to just feeling okay about myself. Not even loving, just feeling fine you know? I'm at a good place now but I'm still learning how to unlearn all these things in my head and to look away when I see or hear something like those Instagram posts. Damn this is long, I hope you read it xD Love you
I’m 27 and I have grey hairs coming in. That was the first time I was forced to think about aging and the fact that it’s coming a lot faster than I thought. I also have a hard time with my smile lines where makeup creases a lot more than it did before. It’s a weird stage to be in because I still feel young. People still tell me that I don’t look older than like 20 which is something I never really heard before. I never looked young for my age so idk why all of a sudden I do. I dye my hair so I guess they don’t know I have greys coming in😂 anyways, my point is that when it comes to aging, I feel both old and young at the same time. I’m in such a weird stage with it.
You're young. Honestly, you are nowhere near old. I worked with the elderly for a while and I can assure you that old is not until at least 70 for *most people. Stay fit and eat well. You're still young!
I am 60 and have never had anything done. In my heart of hearts I know that I would regret having disappointing procedures done more than never having anything done. Good skin care can really help with ageing and so that's been the route I've taken. Love this channel Alex ! Love from UK.
My idea is that if you have the money to invest in Botox, you should focus on facials and improving the elasticity of skin and rejuvenation before trying to fill certain lines. Idk. I used to have crazy forehead lines but started investing in better skincare and now I don't and it didn't take any Botox
I should probably not say anything to this. I'm 54, never had anything done, and I am fine with my looks. Can't understand that people less than half my age are already considering and doing all this stuff. I feel so sorry for them. Do they define themselves only by their looks? Or by "male response"? I don't get it. In the end, I think that people should do what makes them happy. But if any kind of outside pressure comes into play, then it is more than likely not personal happiness, but something else - and certainly nothing a plastic surgeon can fix.
I love that you are talking about this. Scary how misinformed people are about all these procedures, muscles wasting away from botox, fillers that stay inside of you for up to 10 years and not 6 months, nose fillers that can make you blind, Brazilian butt lifts that can clog your arteries and we dont know what they will look like in 20-40 years, breast implant illness, etc etc etc BODY DYSMORPHIA that cant be talked about because "you should do whatever you want with your body", propagation of abnormal beauty standards....++++ the financial aspect... are girls going to grow up thinking is normal spending 100s or 1000s of dollars every few months to "be ok" with themselves? So many lower income people save SO much money to get breast implants for example, and then they need an expensive MRI every 1-3 years, they need to change the implants in X amount of years, they might get breast implant illness (hopefully come across the information about it) and then pay for a super expensive surgery to remove them and then relearn how to like themselves... will they have the money? Even if they do, did they have to choose those things over other priorities their money could have cared for? 100% think people should do what they want with their body, but i dont think the conversation should stop there. I feel like people are so afraid of speaking up about this. The truth is that a lot of this procedures comes from low self esteem (wherever it comes from) and it propagates the same things since young girls look at that as the norm and start thinking that a bumpy nose, wrinkles, pores, small boobs, big waist, small bum, small lips etc are not good enough. And where does this stop? I think that those views are what we are fed. I remember being a child/teen and thinking how gorgeous some older ladies are... years later i became scared of that.
it's partly because society also rewards people for being beautiful - pretty privilege. how can you blame people for wanting to look a certain way because they literally benefit from life for being beautiful. im not saying that this is how it should be, but it just is
regarding "natural" vs. chemical. they are the SAME thing. so-called clean beauty is another marketing strategy to get you to buy a product and has no basis in science. Read Skin care: the ultimate no-nonsense guide by Caroline Hirons for more information. 🤓
Seeing my parents age is so beautiful to me. Every gray hair or wrinkle they have is a reminder of all the years they've been my amazing parents to me and all the years of joy they had before that. They hate that they're aging and don't look as plump or shinny or saturated as they used to. It makes me so sad that they can't see how beautiful their aging is. That the lines by their eyes and lips were left there by laughter. That their gray, thinning hair and creased hands are a testament to being so human. Aging means you're living, and that is an amazing blessing to be celebrated.
I’m 26 and have wanted under eye filler for a long time and have also considered Botox in my forehead. I’ve had a small line across my forehead since I was 12, and I’ve always wanted to get rid of it. Something has always stopped me from pulling the trigger and actually doing it. It’s great to hear the perspective of someone who got work done and wasn’t happy with it, I feel like right now a lot of my friends are getting stuff done and loving it and I totally get where you are coming from when you say you have fomo.
I'm 22 and the way I've felt for years is that winkles and aging are beautiful/worthy of being cherished, because not everyone gets to grow old, so in a lot of ways the signs of years lived are a blessing! Even as a kid I thought "oh I hope I get crows feet when I'm older because that will mean I was happy a lot"!
Your question of “I have to do this” really makes me reevaluate if my want for Botox is my own or just what I’ve been told/taught??? Thank you for making this 💜
Thank you for this! Grateful to hear someone talking about it so publicly. As a 34 year old makeup artist seeing little lines creeping in, I feel a lot of pressure to do botox to keep the lines away since “my face is my business.” And being in Southern California, Were almost the minority if we’re not doing it. I want to “age gracefully” But I’m still apprehensive...it’s a toxin...that were injecting and paralyzing our muscles...were injecting them in a place near our brain! Just like in the last few years, we’ve learned about breast implant illness (which was totally unheard of 10 years ago), what are we going to discover are the side effects of all these injections that 20 year olds are lining up to get. Anyways...I appreciate your balanced view of not rushing to get in line for a quick fix
If I wasn't on my phone, I would leave a novel. I'll sum it up with, "Time to turn around and face the congregation, sister." I adore you! I turned 56 the other day and totally relate to your thoughts. May the rest of your day be effortlessly productive and blissfully drama-free!
LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS. Brought up a lot of insecurities and thoughts I have watching so many videos from “influencers”. All the fillers, all the Botox, all the extensions. It’s really hard to mentally strip that stuff away and see that person and a regular human being. It’s a vicious circle for people exposed on social media and for those who are wall flowers just watching them. Being someone who believed in Botox as a preventative I still do-in moderation! Like you, skincare in a first and foremost. I’ve always felt like my lips would be so much better with filler but have yet to pull the tigger due to the botch jobs and the fact that it fades within 6-12 months depending on physical activity. I’m HIGHLY dependant on my physical for mental and physical reasons. Assuming the filler would dissolve faster for me than most I’ve talked myself out of it multiple times. Highly appreciate you laying it all out on the table 🙌🏼
I'm 47 and never even considered botox or anything like that. I look a lot younger (everyone around me says so - wish I could post a pic), no wrinkles, just a few very fine lines beneath my eyes. But that's because I started with skin care very early on (around 23, which at the time was not even considered needed) . In my opinion, the younger you start with botox, filled etc, the worse it gets in your older age, it couldn't possibly improve... but that's just me... Love your talks 💖
I'm in the first part of this video but just wanted to thank you personally cause this kind of channel is what a lot of people need just to write and talk and I love how humanized is your whole content and how you care to listen to us like we care to listen to you. Thanks
As someone who is now 2 years into their 30s I can see how my 'attention' from other people regarding my looks has slightly dropped back. I don't feel bad about it, it's just an observation. I don't feel bad about my looks or my age or facial ageing, but I am quite often getting told I look a lot younger than my age. So I'm not sure if I'm actually comfortable with ageing or if I'm kidding myself that I am because I just haven't quite hit that stage where I have started to obviously age... and, when I do, maybe I'll totally change my mind and become totally insecure about it. I would definitely be wary of saying you just want to age naturally and gracefully when you're young with beautiful skin, you don't know how you will feel when you're not anymore.
I thought about this phenomenon myself. Getting less attention may not be, because you look less attractive. The looks you got on the street were probably mostly from very young men. When you start to look older and maybe dress the part, they may get intimidated and not show much attention. Other than this, you may be expressing yourself differently than before, which is completely normal and okay. As in, dressing completely differently, going to different places, some lifestyle changes etc. No one is going to target someone that they are less likely to get; they would need to work harder. I think, you should test your theory to find out the possible reasons of this perceived change in the attention you receive. I am sure you are as gorgeous as ever though 😊
Another perspective on "attention" from men: As you get older, you get to choose when you get it. I fully accept I will never again pull eyeballs like when I was 15-25. It's the nubile thing. Frankly it happens to young men too, to a lesser degree (I have sons). Now I can go incognito, or I can make an entrance and gain attention. When I'm traveling, it's very convenient to be slightly invisible, vs. when I was young and traveling and had to be very strategic about dealing with male attention.
I'm speechless 🥺 you are amazing in every way possible. Since i started to watch you channel (the beauty one) I've grown to accept myself so much more , cuz you keep it real in every aspect and i absolutely think you're a stunning woman 💜 I'm 25 and i can relate to almost everything you talk about. Thank you for putting on the effort to read and engage in our options Please talk about the simple things that brings you joy when you feel a bit down.
The UA-cam algorithm must have known what I needed because your beauty channel popped up (which I love) which led me to this channel that I REALLY LOVE! I love your talx! They are so authentic and genuine and real!
im chronically ill and my hair is getting patches of grey from treatment and im 26. my friend said to me 'oh but it's fine because it's from treatment but not ageing'. why does it make it not fine when it's a natural part of life... the result is literally the same
I love this channel! And I really appreciate that you don’t wear any make up - it makes me feel like I’m your friend in a way :D When I think about all those things, plastic surgery, fillers etc. I don’t think they are necessarily bad, but I think they can start a “negative cycle” in society… the more people do those thing the more pressure there is for everybody to do it. And although it is nice to make your body/ face look nice with clothes and make up and other stuff we shouldn’t forget to also appreciate our bodies just the way they are. A thought that helps me a lot when I think I am not beautiful enough: Bodies aren’t supposed to look good - they are supposed to function and enable you to literally live. And signs of aging are signs of living. Of course, some “negative symptoms” like wrinkles can also be an indicator of an unhealthy lifestyle (e.g. smoking)… that’s why I want to take care of my body and give it all it needs but other than that I try to just love it like it is 😊 I’m 25 btw
I am 56. For years, people guessed my age to be 10 years younger, which was a real ego boost. then menopause happened and I let my hair go gray around the same time. Both things "aged" me but I want to stay as "natural" as possible because when I look at women who use fillers etc. they look weird to me. I may get surgery at some point, but for now I'm focused on skincare and overall health. I do resent the beauty industry and society beating us down and reinforcing ageism. Getting older is wonderful despite what you have heard. 🤓
I woke up one morning last week and typed up an entire outline about how ageism literally screws everyone over because of how we internalize it, let it influence our self-concept, and then become perfectly ripened consumers for a never ending cycle of strategies that corporations use to profit off of the promise of youth/value. Recently there has been more of call to move away from body positivity to body neutrality and I believe that age neutrality should also be included in that discussion.
I'm 37. I'm so glad I haven't done any injections. A lot of my friends have and I am OBVI so chill with whatever they want to do. I do facial massage and I feel like that makes a difference with my frown line. I hear you with the data collection. The long term research. ... 🤷
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
ive always been more on the side of like...yeah of course women have the freedom to get whatever work they’d like done in order to boost their confidence, but it really calls into question why do women feel the need to look different in the first place? and it’s the answer to that question that gives me pause above all else. and i don’t think it’s productive to shut up women who don’t support getting work done just because they can or can better abide by current beauty standards. we don’t live in a vacuum and pretending that advertising, capitalism, sexism, and racism din’t play a role in our desire to change is just....missing the point imo. i think back to when i was first made aware of how i could look “better” or feeling like i didnt look good enough and it coincides with preteen age aka when girls start getting heavily advertised to in regards to beauty and fashion. and that process has only sped up ever since the widespread use of the internet and social media. and i do think girls and women have it harder because we’re actively encouraged to purchase makeup all under the guise of looking like our best selves and fixing our various “issues”. truth is there’s nothing to fix. we all look great as we are and i’m not saying that assuage people’s insecurities, but simply because it’s the truth. we are enough as we are, it’s society’s rules (most of which were invented by white men, yeah, let’s not forget that) that have convinced us otherwise.
Dude, even the fact that anti-aging is mainly marketed towards women because men age "hotter" according to society and women on the other hand somehow "lose their worth" as they age..like please, we genuinely need to stop buying into these gimmicks. Like yeah, do whatever you want but at least reflect on it and think about it from all perspectives and then decide if there's actually a reasonable/logical argument to back up what you're doing.
This is spot on!
I mostly agree. But we're also in a time where people are preaching are being about being woke and thinking deep yet when you question a big "trend" or movement", your stuck in the old days or non progressive etc. With surgery, all of that, whether people agree that it was started by white men or not, were in a time where women are empowering themselves and doing alot of amazing things. To keep blaming insecurity on the past people and ignoring our faults and ACTIVELY not doing anything about it is bad. Women are really the ones who are creating these standards and creating this hypocritical environment disguised as self love and doing it for "yourself". And while you can blame capitalism, you cant blame that people see a demand there. And these young girls keep seeing all these influencers with surgery's and keep repeating this" I've always had this insecurity, and I do love myself already but this surgery is something I've always wanted' it's false. And little girls are exposed to this thinking and start picking themselves apart. I get the wanting to be confident. But normalizing surgery has been more negative than positive. And even more, health wise it's not ideal for your body. I understand the "corrective" idk what they're called but those surgeries for like cleft plates, or an abnormally large feature that might even affect your health, like crooked noses, sometimes that can interfere with breathing, especially at night. But purely cosmetic, as someone who's interested in human biology and plan to finish my degree to pursue something in the medical field, maybe doctor, not sure yet. But anything forgein in your body that you put in, high potential for negative reactive whether it's right away or not. I like the idea of optimizing our health by addressing root causes and learning to adapt to our endlessly and rapidly changing environment. Quality of life is important, and these type of surgeries I strongly believe can lead to problems long term that decrease quality of life, and it's gonna be hard to address or figure out cause we do so much to our bodies, from what we eat, to breath, products we use, gradually but surely affects. Idk I just went on a rant, but the surgery thing is upsetting to me and I get scared when I have my future kids grow up in this environment seeing so much plastic and perfection and thinking it's normal and fine. I get insecurity doesn't feel good, but I've never felt more insecure in my life than when instagram came along and insta models and all that became something. I'm doing better now. Also idk how to say this, if you've gotten surgery or filler, I get it the pressure, your still a person worth of respect, but I want to give a about out to those who didn't give in and truly learned self confidence and love themselves that you didn't have acorrective surgery. There's very few influencers like that and I wish that would be celebrated and people actually start modeling and become influences by that attitude. Much respect to you guys, especially if you have the money to do these "fixes" but choose not to and don't care. I'd love to see a trend where we truly learn to appreciate our bodies and unique traits. Coming from a girl.
Thank you!!! I always find it weird how people say “I didn’t get this done for other people, I just feel more confident. Society has nothing to do with it.” But no one is making their nose bigger... it’s because of society that having bigger lips or a bigger butt makes you feel prettier. We can’t deny that
YESSS HONEYYY
ridiculous how women are expected to look 20 forever
More like 12 sometimes. I have 18 year old friends who are getting/considering work done. Talking about all the fine lines (they THINK they have)... and I feel so bad for them cause they truly grew up in an era of TikTok & Instagram users filtering themselves into an uncanny valley of a toddler/21 year old hybrid. Beauty standards are out of control. There's no age, body shape or any state of existence where women don't get told that if they just changed at least one thing they could look better.
@@Alex-ee1dq you’re so right about the toddler/21 year old hybrid thing... fucking hell. It’s just so weird.
I actually really love the small signs of aging that I have started to see on my face. my favorite part of my face right now are my dark under eye circles. I feel lived in. I feel more beautiful at 31 than I ever did at 21. I hated how innocent I looked in my 20s, because I was never taken seriously. Now my life experience shows on my face, and I feel like the way that I look actually reflects how I feel. I feel authentically represented. I am glad that you talked about this, because I think that it is so important.
Love this! I feel so much more beautiful and comfortable in my skin at 31 too 🥰
I'm 27 and every year I swear I feel more beautiful in my skin :)
“I feel lived in.” I don’t know why, but that genuinely made me burst into tears. I love your comment with every bit of my soul 🤍
Sounds nice. I'm 33 and I truly hate aging, especially how much elasticity the skin loses. Too much botox & fillers is even worst though and it's a slippery slope. I guess I'll need to make my peace with the sagging skin
What a beautiful perspective. I adore your outlook. Thanks for sharing.
the beauty standards these days are actually ridiculous. and i don't think people realize it is rooted in misogyny. when men get older, society considers that graceful and people love older men. why is it not the same for women? why do women need to look young for a long time? it all goes back to men wanting a youthful appearance because that equates to the age of child bearing. we need to EMBRACE aging and stop making people feel insecure for something that is NATURAL and happens to everybody.
i forgot to add - just focus on sun protection, retinol, peptides, etc! good skincare
@@bakedcherry i 100% agree
This! I say this to my husband often. Older men are viewed as sexy 'silver fox'. Women are viewed as old, haggard and unappealing.
@@katerinarose880 it is so ridiculous! it causes so much insecurity and for absolutely no reason 😩 society needs to change
Lol my husband once said to me that if he ages he's going to look even better and he laughed while saying that bc he knows its bullshit. I laughed bc let's not kid ourselves. Old men are old and they look old. And that's ok, but I don't get the notion of men becoming more attractive lolz no they go bald and less attractive. Look at old men, most of them I would not describe as 'attractive'
Just wanted to plug that while yes, Botox derived from a bacterial toxin, it does have very important benefits in the healthcare community other than cosmetics. We use it to paralyze the nerves that innervate the bladder, muscles, and more for individuals who deal with muscle and bladder spasms after injuries, as well as to treat hyperhidrosis and chronic migraines. These were the original uses of Botox before it entered the cosmetics industry. :)
my mom had botox in her face after stroke and it helped her a lot.
It's really excellent for migraine treatment as well.
Botox has been incredibly helpful with the tightness in my jaw as well as reducing headaches fo me.
Yes! I get it in my chin to help counteract paralyzed muscles from a skin cancer surgery decades ago. It left me with a lopsided smile that was crushing. The Botox evens things out.
Thank you for pointing this out! Vanity and the toxicity of ageism is a super important topic, but as you said, it’s not the only topic in which Botox has a place. I had absolutely debilitating migraines connected to TMJ a few years ago. The only reason I’m able to function on a daily basis now and am not bedridden with blackouts and dizzying pain is because of Botox treatments from the crown of my head, down the back of my head, into the base of my neck, under my earlobes, and into the masseter muscle on the jawline.
It’s unfortunate that Botox has such a seemingly unshakable stigma of vanity around it, since it originated as a legitimate medical treatment. It’s used, and misused, by many people, but that’s not its only usage.
I just love you. That’s all. And don’t stop this. Like... ever.
I agree, Francesca23. You spoke my mind!!! Thank you!✌💚🙏
Reminds me of a video from Simplynessa15 when she talks about getting her breast implants removed because she was getting sick from them. She said something along the lines of “I wish I had loved myself more. It would have cheaper to go therapy and learn to love myself more” not to mention save yourself from all the pain and stress. I think about that every time I think about getting a cosmetic procedure done.
I love that you are talking about this.
Scary how misinformed people are about all these procedures, muscles wasting away from botox, fillers that stay inside of you for up to 10 years and not 6 months, nose fillers that can make you blind, Brazilian butt lifts that can clog your arteries and we dont know what they will look like in 20-40 years, breast implant illness, etc etc etc BODY DYSMORPHIA that cant be talked about because "you should do whatever you want with your body", propagation of abnormal beauty standards....++++ the financial aspect... are girls going to grow up thinking is normal spending 100s or 1000s of dollars every few months to "be ok" with themselves? So many lower income people save SO much money to get breast implants for example, and then they need an expensive MRI every 1-3 years, they need to change the implants in X amount of years, they might get breast implant illness (hopefully come across the information about it) and then pay for a super expensive surgery to remove them and then relearn how to like themselves... will they have the money? Even if they do, did they have to choose those things over other priorities their money could have cared for?
100% think people should do what they want with their body, but i dont think the conversation should stop there. I feel like people are so afraid of speaking up about this. The truth is that a lot of this procedures comes from low self esteem (wherever it comes from) and it propagates the same things since young girls look at that as the norm and start thinking that a bumpy nose, wrinkles, pores, small boobs, big waist, small bum, small lips etc are not good enough.
And where does this stop?
I think that those views are what we are fed. I remember being a child/teen and thinking how gorgeous some older ladies are... years later i became scared of that.
I followed nessa through her implant journey, and the end of her journey is what convinced me to not get them. I have a very similar story to hers (noncancer tumors being removed and leaving me scarred) but I am going to love my body for everything she is because she shows what I’ve done
@@amandamitchell311 YESSSS!!!
I’m 50, so I’ve had fillers and Botox from probably around 35, but not in the past few years. Once I wanted big cheek bones, because I’ve never had full ones, so I had my face pumped full with filler, and I loved it! Then months later as it dissolved, I realized it had literally stretched my skin and created more wrinkles. It actually made me look much older. I decided to stop doing it because I didn’t want to have to keep getting more forever! It took forever for the elasticity in my skin to come back from it.
My advice is dont to anything permanent, because you can’t take it away. And be aware if you start doing fillers and stuff that you have to keep doing it forever to maintain the results. So then you’re literally spending your life trying to maintain a “look”. It’s totally superficial and in the end doesn’t matter at all
Thank you for this I appreciate your experience
What do you think about a one time face lift when you age more/skin sags more?
@@Michelliellio - I think if you feel like it will enrich your life and make you feel more comfortable with yourself, then it’s your right. We live in a world that is so focused on the external, and I genuinely believe that the way you look can grant you opportunities and even rewards that “less physically pleasing to the eye” people aren’t alloted. So unfortunately often the “best man for the job” is also the best looking, because in business it makes others more comfortable to have the aspired to positions more coveted if the one holding it is aesthetically pleasing.
Love yourself for who you are, but if you have something about yourself that you feel is holding you back, then improve it. Just be aware that the actual act of surgery won’t do you any good unless YOU believe and utilize the results!❤️
@@Michelliellio if done by a professional surgeon with a great portfolio it is way more effective than Botox. If not overdone, you get way better results. However it's not risk free. It's a surgery. It involves anesthesia and a scalpel... Things can go wrong like with any surgery. Honestly if you are not a model and your livelihood doesn't depend on your looks, I would try and just make peace with your wrinkles etc. That's what I am trying to do. I have so many 'problems' with my face, if I got work done on everything I would probably be unrecognisable and then I would likely find a new set of things I hate about how I look... Trying to fix things about yourself is a never ending cycle.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It confirms the "big face" trend we are seeing in which people's faces keep getting bigger in order to fill the stretched skin.
Colleen Heidemann has been a huge inspiration for me to not fear aging. It is a privilege, not everyone gets to age.
I've been following Colleen for about a year and I love everything about her. She is one of the most beautiful human beings inside and out. Major girl crush.
That is an excellent way to look at aging; I have never thought about it that way.
blog.stylewe.com/meeting-women-over-50-fabulous-style/
You'll like these then, but for my money, Daphne Selfe, aged 87, is the clear winner in the batch. lol. X
I'm #47 years old, I have some sagging skin...but, I'm happy to be alive and if someone doesn't like my saggy face, it's their loss. I'm embracing the older & wiser mentality!! 💙💛❤
Thank you for adding this, we age if we’re lucky - I lost a friend to cancer this year and she was in her early to mid 30s. I’ve also lost friends over the years to tragic accidents & the Iraq wars.
I'm not old yet myself but I've always loved crow's feet? I think it's really cute because it shows that a person smiles a lot and smiles with their eyes. It just makes people look so warm and friendly and approachable?
Hundred percent agree. Ive heard about people doing things to get rid of them, but I legit love them.
Bravo 👏 I was just admiring mine today actually, something I've never done before! Maturity 😊
Yes! I'm actually very attracted to crows feet!!! My partner has them. And all my celebrity crushes have them! They're so cute when they smile!
I've always loved crow's feet, too.
I turned 26 this year and noticed for the first time I have crow's feet when I smile. I cried!! and would sit in front of the mirror staring at them, hating them. I told my mum, and she said the same as you. I've tried looking at it that way and I'm getting there! But your comment really warmed me and made me feel better, thank you ♥
I wonder how differently we would behave if our culture/society made aging feel normal and acceptable. Like... we're a bunch of meat suits that are charged by electricity and eventually they break down and stop working and we die. I want to be beautiful as much as the next person, but I hope we can collectively celebrate age and see the beauty in every stage.
Beautifully said!
I like that you just talk and do not follow a script. It is really genuine !!!💕💕💕
I love that you don’t wear makeup and are confident in your own skin in these videos. It makes you relatable. It makes me feel normal. I still haven’t been able to fully accept my genetic dark under eyes. I still have to cover them with concealer when I have to go run errands. But you make me want to accept them. Thank you! :)
I don't know if this will help anyone, but I'd like to contribute by giving a short account of my botox journey. I started with having injections in my frown lines plus a little extra to relax downward pulling muscles in the forehead. I was enchanted with the results. I literally couldn't frown! I'd looked pretty bad tempered before that day - and now I looked much more 'anodyne'. Me liked! I had those injections, plus some into my platysma muscles to relax that strong ropey look you get when you're quite athletic, and I had them 3 monthly - on the dot!
Then lockdown struck. I went without injections for 8 months. At the end of that time, I still had some residual relaxment of those tight muscles, but renewed my injections in September of this year. But something different was happening. After 2 weeks, it became clear to me that my muscles were no longer responding as they had once done. My injector disagreed with me, but my mirror doesn't lie that much when it comes to me glaring at my wrinkles!! Then I noticed something else. Maybe it was there before, but my skin looked softer and slacker than when I had first started injections 18 months before. One reason was possibly because up until my first injections, I'd always practised facial exercises of one sort or another. That had maybe helped keep my face a bit tighter. But then I also began to really think about the fact that unused muscle atrophies. You see, I hadn't done the facial exercises seriously for about a year because I didn't want to disperse the botox too quickly! What was I going to do?
First of all, I watched some of the videos on UA-cam put out by the Victorian Institute (Australian based). This doctor has done botox and fillers for years, and has expressed some reservations about administering them over the last year or so. Check out his video on 'when botox stops working', put out a couple of months ago. Link won't take for some reason, sorry!
Then I had another look at my face - which is quite clear boned and doing that badly (yet) although the signs of age are gathering. And I decided to simply return to facial exercise: eating better and topping up vitamins for skin, hair and nails; trying to remember to wear sunscreen - and dedicated retinol usage! I figured that that would probably get me about as far as anything else would do. So I'll just have to put up with looking a little hard and angry sometimes, when I really am not. At least I'll have firmish features, and clear bone structure - as well as a bit of slack and some lines. At least I'll look real! I know I'll be able to achieve some things with the contents of my cosmetic bag, because I love all that stuff. And if I feel like rocking a smoky eye at 90, I will do so. X
Thank you for sharing that experience.
About the whole "looking like an old hag at 50 while the girls who had botox have aged gracefully" thought, I think it helps to think of your parents or anyone else from an older generation. These people were sunbathing in their 20s (sometimes even using baby oil to get a tan), they most likely did not wear sunscreen on a semi-regular basis and, on top of that, they were lucky if they used a moisturizer. And even with all of that, for the most part they certainly don't look like shrivelled prunes as of today.
Of course, Botox and other procedures can potentially help in the long run, but in any case, I think we're overestimating the damage.
Exactly!
yes! this is what i think about when i fear my tattoos will looks like some of the older generation’s do now! we know so much more about maintenance and care that maybe just maybe we’re taking better precautions😌❤️
This is an excellent point! I think specifically of my mother. Both of my parents (who are 70 and 67 respectively, I'm 36) look much younger than they are. I have very vivid memories of my mother spending every summer day sunbathing for hours and getting very dark, especially considering her mostly Irish and Dutch heritage. She does deal with dry skin and rosacea a bit now which could be because of her sun worshipping past but could also just be due to age and genetics.
I've heard that the ozone is depleting, so the sun's rays are actually more harmful now than when our parents were young.
@@vanessas5426 You're right! However, that depends on your location. Keeping this in mind is more important if you live in Australia where the ozone hole is definitely causing a rise of UV rays (though last time I checked it was getting smaller). The ozone depletion in the rest of the world is still relatively negligible.
“Clean” beauty is a marketing scam though. This idea that we shouldn’t partake in “chemicals” makes zero sense because EVERYTHING is chemicals, including us as human beings. Dr. Dray is a dermatologist and has a UA-cam channel and she has a video that explains why we shouldn’t buy into that “clean” label if you want a medical professional to explain it better. 😄
yes! other great skincare youtubers are cassandra bankson, james welsh, hyram, etc
Yes! "Clean" beauty is nothing but a marketing scam. Insinuating other products are dirty or poisonous. While really the most researched and scientifically proven safe ingredients and formulas are not apart the "clean" category. Preservatives are in products to prevent harmful bactiria, ECT. Absolutely recommend Dr Dray. Her no bs approach is refreshing and easy to digest.
@@bakedcherry Personally, I don’t follow skincare “influencers” unless they have credentials. If I’m looking for information I want the FACTS, not just people sharing their preferences about products. 😂
I’ll go to Dr Dray (a dermatologist) on UA-cam, or Sean Garrette (a licensed esthetician) on Twitter and Instagram.
@@LadyJenevia i understand. cassandra is a medical aesthetician in case you want to check her out!
Also recommend Lab muffin beauty science. Dr Michelle has a chemistry phd. She breaks down the science of beauty so it's easy to understand.
Ted talks with Alex and I’m loving them 😂♥️
😂
alex: omg i look like a pineapple 😫
also alex: absolutely glowing
😭😭😭😭😭🙏🏼
First lemme just say thank you for filming this! And second, I'm 24 yrs old and immediately got Botox in my forehead right after my 24th birthday. I was so happy and satisfied I even recommended it to my friends (if they were thinking about it). Fast forward a few months, Botox faded. I personally think my "wrinkles" are not even bad. For the price and how long it lasts(with possible side effects long term) I am now questioning if it's even worth it. I have been that person who originally wanted everything done (boob job,nose job,lip fillers etc) and now slowly I'm realizing everyone on Instagram is looking the same. Nothing wrong with that but ya know that "look". I think we are all unaware of how we influence the future generations and now I'm starting to embrace my natural look.
I totally get where you're coming from, but I really think you should do more research and take a step back from this "clean beauty" mentality (which is really just a marketing ploy). Chemicals aren't inherently bad and "natural" isn't inherently good; there are plenty of natural substances that can harm or kill humans, and lets not forget that literally any ingredient used in chemistry is a chemical (including water), so being anti-chemical just doesn't make sense. I highly recommend Lab Muffin Beauty Science as a starting point for lots of these topics (she has a PhD in Chemistry and is a skincare/beauty nerd)! By the way, this isn't me saying you shouldn't question what you put in/on your body, but that you shouldn't feed into clean beauty's anti-science rhetoric, cuz it's honestly super toxic and simply based in them wanting to fearmonger consumers so they can make more money.
Also, regarding your questions about Botox's safety, Botox is actually one of the safest cosmetic procedures you can receive as the research and data behind its use is quite thorough compared to newer substances (Botox has had FDA approval for almost 20 years). As long as you receive treatment from a board certified dermatologist or plastic surgeon, it's very low risk because the amount of the actual toxin used in cosmetic procedures is so low (i.e. don't inject pure, undiluted botulinum toxin directly into your veins). In fact, no one has ever died from professional Botox treatment and only 36 cases of adverse reactions were reported in a 14 year period. Cosmetic chemists and researchers aren't out here to purposefully harm people, it's quite the opposite. So while I'm not advocating for or against people getting Botox (that's a 100% personal decision), I just don't want you to fall into the clean beauty "chemicals are bad" mentality because a) that doesn't make sense and b) proper scientific research actually makes cosmetics SAFER.
TL;DR: If you receive treatment from an experienced, board certified, and well-reviewed dermatologist or plastic surgeon (and not just some random med spa with a groupon), Botox is safe.
👏👏
Yeah it’s such a dumb LA way to think. The lack of intelligence 😂
There's a huge difference between natural chemicals and synthetic ones though.
@@rebelaz botox hasn't been around as long so I don't think it's safe to assume theres no long term affects. 70 , even 100 years isn't long. Humans have been around for 1000s of years, we can see with technology how rapidly and advanced it's become in the past 200 years, even more in the past two decades, were just now realizing the negative aspects and how negative is can be, like with social media. Were gonna need to more time to see how botox, and all these surgeries play out. Everything we put inside and outside or bodies affects us. Whether it's in a good or bad way, quick or slow. While I'm sure there's companies trying to profit just off the label clean beauty I don't think it's a bad idea to take that more seriously. Some people have more sensitive skin, and. Cant handle all the ingredients inside most products, and honestly even though my skin isn't sensitive. I'd much rather use products for sensitive skin. But anyways, well just see what happens over time
When you mention that you didn’t wanna put chemicals on your face, it instantly rang my bell. Chemicals are all around you. Water is a chemical. Don’t worry about that type of a thing. If you have any concerns, seeing a dermatologist and getting the right products for you is the best thing you can possibly do for your skin and for aging.
Oh come on, when people say this you know that they mean man-made/synthetic chemicals. Stop nitpicking when you know the intention of what the person is saying. 🙄
@@rebeccaorlando9815 okay but here’s the deal. She can’t avoid chemicals. She has nothing to fear. “Natural” bs products aren’t better. They can be worse. Trust me.
She's probably talking about the ones that can cause DNA damage and reproductive harm, among other things. 🤔 Like the ingredients banned in Europe because they have been shown in studies to be harmful but which the US still allows.
@@rebeccaorlando9815 Skincare products are mostly made of chemicals synthesized by people in factories. This kind of broad hand-wave-y rhetoric is damaging to people's scientific understanding of how this stuff works, and can lead people to fall into scams and traps that target people worried about "chemicals" and "toxins" so they go to "clean/natural" beauty products that sometimes have even less testing
I like that you just come on this channel natural! It's appreciated 🙏
I will always find a graceful older woman more beautiful than a woman who has had any kind of plastic surgery, fillers, or botox. It is always visible and apparent. Take French women for example. They like to show a bit of imperfection, some wrinkles, natural skin, no heavy makeup. But they can be so elegant and stylish. A little bit of knowing what suits you and a lot of confidence. Nothing beats that, not even youth.
The last 2 sentences of this comment are so so true. If I could like this twice I would!
The thing is though, if their work was good/subtle enough you think it’s natural
As a woman at Level 53, I am starting to cringe at the phrases about aging gracefully or elegantly. They hint at expectations of what and how women should be, again. There is a hint at superiority - as if not getting treatments is better than getting treatments.
I know that isn't what you meant... but would like to have a conversation on how we can change the phrasing to be less "this is is the definition of graceful" and "graceful is better than not graceful"... It reminds me of the old Seinfeld episode in which Elaine exclaims to be graceful. hahahahahah
@@teletubbiestunetwister9570 Maybe "sophisticated" is a better word?
@@tijanaboskov8108 It's long.... And I'm not picking your comment apart on a personal level but it's brought up something that's been on my mind for a long time so I hope you and others will engage with me on this.
Why does there have to be an adjective? Does having a treatment or surgery mean someone is not sophisticated or at least doesn't look sophisticated? No. It doesn't.
While some treatments can look pretty subtle and good in the middle years, if one has had continuous treatments for a few decades the skin can look odd at best and sometimes awful in the later years. But some who get treatment don't care what they look like at 70... they want to look amazing at 50. OK.
But when we are talking about what we like to see in others - and perhaps that's the bit that is really getting to me that I just realized - we should be able to simply say that we think that skin that hasn't had treatment looks healthier in the elderly.
But adjectives like graceful (= pleasing) are thrown around and add a further layer to the misogyny in that those who say it usually don't mean just without surgery or treatment but indeed with an ideal in mind like your example:
" Take French women for example. They like to show a bit of imperfection, some wrinkles, natural skin, no heavy makeup. But they can be so elegant and stylish. "
I have watched dozens of videos on what French women do to look so great so I am right there with you. And what I learned is that it's not as easy to look that good as we think it is.. It's still a contrived look in many ways.
Regardless... what about the women who don't get surgery or treatments but aren't stylish or show too many imperfections or simply don't care to do more than stay clean and go about their lives? Are those who are graceful "aging better" than they are? Is this a competition?
This is where it gets muddy and where we can see we've all been conditioned in some way to have expectations of what the right or the best or the classiest should be. When we label like that we are slamming, in some way, the women who don't fit OUR expectations.
And we don't want them to do that to us, do we?
I just want to dissect the narrative and conversation that is out there about this.
Like telling women they look young for their age confirms that aging is bad and youthing is good, expecting women to age a certain way confirms that we still can't do what we want without criticism... Just look at Madonna and others who are while they are aging - as does every human - they are queens of badassery... And they get absolutely slammed because they don't fit some idea of how a woman in her 60s should look and act.
Let's make this an act of feminism and freedom and release all of us from these chains.
You be graceful if you want. I think I'll do awkward badassery. :)
I'm biracial (Black/white) and I feel a lot of pressure not to age because of the "Black don't crack" idea. So now that I'm 30, and I have smile lines and some wrinkles on my forehead- it makes me feel more removed from Blackness. Black femmes bodies are already scrutinized so much, and now that I'm getting older, I'm aware how ageist stereotypes can be amplified given different identities.
If you had a podcast I would listen, your voice is so calming
Of course everyone can do whatever they like with their bodies (I’ve gotten Botox before) but the reason we feel like we need to, or that we feel more confident when we get it, is that we’re all trying to make it in a misogynist world where women are listened to/appreciated/uplifted/paid attention to in society only if they present as attractive to the male gaze, which prioritizes youth (among other things). Women “past their prime” are often discarded or completely desexualized, they lose their “value” in the eyes of a society that cares more about our bodies than the fullness of who we are as women. The more we keep going along with these toxic beauty standards the more we make ourselves into agents of our own oppression under patriarchy and capitalism, and the more we sell out all other women who will need to do the same to “keep up”. It’s vicious, man.
Class plays into this SO much. My mom for example has gotten some stuff done, and it was mostly to stay employable. She doesn’t have an education and nobody wants to hire women that look “old and tired” especially in her industry (cannabis). That goes for professional women too, of course, but There’s nothing to fall back on for working class people. Ironically I see wealthier people getting less work done as they age because they don’t really need to keep up appearances to survive.
Somewhere there’s a parallel universe where signs of aging are admired and looked forward to. Imagine how dope that must be. No for real, like imagine it, what a different world that must look like lol
So, I'm 21 and generally I'm located in southern USA. Right after I turned 20, I got my b--bs done, because I had severe asymmetry - one was a B cup, the other was a DD, and neither of them were 'perky' (i believe the small one was called a 'tubular' bre-st). I always wanted to get them done because like, *nothing* would ever fit me right. It's not like there's clothes made for asymmetrical chests and even if there were, it's not like anyone would wear it, because that's just not a widely desirable look. I would have to wear a DD bra and stuff the other cup and it never sat right. In my prom dresses and swim suits, my mom, bless her heart, would sew in a 'chicken cutlet' so I could appear even. It was a horrible hassle and I could never, ever feel pretty. And any time I wanted to be intimate with a person, I'd have to break the news like "hey so, my chest is uneven, there's nothing medically wrong it just looks drastic, hope you're ok with that before proceeding" and like it was so. Embarassing.
So I had to have four different operations done (I went one state over to a really experienced plastic surgeon who also used to be a nerve surgeon before going into plastics, which made me feel better for some reason). I had a lift in both, a reduction of tissue in the larger one, resizing of my are-las, and then sub-muscular implants. The implants are two different sizes, and they're teardrop 'gummy bear' implants (a softer and safer kind of silicone).
The day after when I was awake enough to look at myself, I was completely mortified. They sat SUPER high up, they were rock hard, and they still seemed uneven but just opposite to before. He did warn all of these things would happen and that they would take a month or two to 'settle', and he was right! It'll be two years this coming spring, and they now look like the chest I was 'supposed' to have. They're DDs, they're proportionate to my body type, they sit in a really natural way, if a a stranger were to squeeze one they'd have no clue they were fake. I do have scarring, but that's probably on me for not using my cream like I was meant to (they used to be bright pink and have already faded to my skin tone). I can sit around my house without wearing a bra and not feel an uncomfy unequal distribution of weight. Heck, I can go to the store without a bra and not feel uncomfy! Best money I've ever spent, best decision I've ever made. I don't think I could possibly be happier with how it turned out.
As for filler or botox - I've decided to swear off of that stuff until I'm, like, actually 'old' (50? 60?). I just have to wonder what it's going to do in the long-term to the people who are getting tons of both so young. Will it make it 'worse' for them when inevitable signs of aging come through?
(Hope you don't mind all the censoring, I've heard YT is being more strict on flagging certain words as problematic and I wanted to avoid being thrown in the 'review' pile lol)
Start being consistent with sunscreen! The sooner the better. That way you'll postpone or even completely evade the desire to do procedures.
For starters those young people getting Botox are going to spend so much money !!! And they don’t even need to! I think it might honestly backfire where it’s filling gaps , creating space where there wasn’t any before that now have to continue evening filled!! I don’t actually know but that what I imagine - I could be wrong
Agreed. I think starting so young is going to have unintended consequences for many...
I also had two different size breasts. Putting shoulder pads in one bra cup so they would appear more even. I had a reduction of the larger breast and a lift. I was happy to have a smaller chest. It’s been almost 15 years and I still love my small breasts! I’m glad I didn’t go with implants! 😊
I am brown skinned and from India, skin colour is a big deal here and throughout my entire childhood I wanted to go full MJ and change my skin colour. Also, I have full lips, love them now, but thin lips were and still appreciated by the people around me (friends & family) and I really wished they'd somehow disappear.
There's a lot more I wanted to change about me and I passionately wanted to do that till I was 16 atleast, only then did I start seeing people with a large platform online being comfortable in their own skin (strict parents so no internet at all till then) and started accepting and loving myself.....still a long way to go but it's thanks to people like you that I could get started on this journey
You are beautiful! You don't need to change anything. Don't let other people dictate how you view yourself. There is a reason why everyone looks different. Because of everyone looked the same we would all look like we came out of a printer machine. And it would be boring. Love yourself.
That’s so opposite of the people around me growing up. wEverybody wanted full lips, large breasts, and brown skin 😮
I am 66. I have let my grey hair grow in and I love it. I used to dye it auburn which worked for a while but now the dark grey with silver steaks looks healthier and complements my skin tone so much better. I tried Botox once and it really didn’t do much. I have deep 11 ‘s after 66 years of creating those lines, which most people don’t focus on...so I live with them. Appreciate your 30, 40, 50, year old face. Do the best you can taking care of you skin and body and become more than your appearance. In the long run beauty is in a smile. In a generous spirt. In a kind heart. You are gorgeous, talented, bright, curious and authentic. That is beauty.
Getting older is a gift the alternative is not an option...each of you is enough. PEACE
well... that's the comment! 👏🏼
@@elisabethbrenner1425 Thanks! Our time is valuable --sometimes we need to be reminded : )
I’m 38. I haven’t had anything done but, I think about Botox a lot. I actually just started doing makeup, I don’t love it for the look as much as I love it for the act of it, which is how I found you and why I connect with you so much. I learn a shit ton from you. I don’t know what I’m going to do, I have learned that for myself, I don’t ever want to put myself in an “absolutely” or “never” category, it puts too much pressure on me to live up to an arbitrary standard instead of going with my own flow and listening to what I actually want, what is good for me, and not just staying in a lane to say I’m in that lane. Botox, just like most things, stays in the maybe category until I feel 100% sure it’s something that’s going to make things better.
Love this, love that you make these videos when your brain is in the “flow” it’s awesome and I will gladly ride your coattail of creativity in a time where my creative outlets have been all but decimated due to the pandemic. Love always,
Meghan
I’m 60 and I’m actually scared to go out without makeup.
I appreciate you not always wearing makeup and to me you are brave and smart!You are an excellent role model for all people-
Thank you!
I'm so glad I found your beauty channel and now this! I've been more insecure when it comes to my age. Especially with everyone getting filler and Botox. I saw wrinkles around my mouth pop up overnight and I'm extremely insecure about it now. I've been looking at pictures of when my face was plump and full. Wishing I would have been more appreciative of myself and I'm way more confident than I was when I was younger. So seeing people my age with filler and Botox I think maybe I'm not aging so well and they are. Maybe I didn't listen to dermatologists about sunscreen and sleep.
Lol. Relatable. About the pictures. Never too late to start taking better care of your/our health and skin, though. I hope you digest and integrate this insecurity soon, letting it fuel your confidence rather than letting it tear you down even a little. ❤
I've been getting kybella, 3 sessions in, because my double chin is the bane of my existence. I'm a fan of "natural" but I've obviously crossed over into the I-get-cosmetic-procedures group. My thought is always "I'm gonna die one day anyway might as well be happy while I'm here." so I feel like if botox or anything else makes you happy, do it. But if it gets to be an obsession or you're always after the next tweak, I think it's a problem.
What was that like? I’ve been thinking about it
@@allygarr8928 so I went to "one of the most highly regarded board-certified plastic surgeons in New York City", according to her website. She measured my double chin and estimated that I'd need 4 sessions. I just did session 3 on Monday. The only progress I've truly noticed is my chin and jawline are more defined, and the submandibular fat that used to be dense and thick is now squishy. Which I think means this most recent injection will dissolve a lot of the squish {I hope.} They apply a numbing cream to the area after cleaning with an alcohol swab, then they do the injection in various spots of the area.
The 1st session HURT, not the needle pricks so much but the kybella itself. It just floods the area and it feels like acid or something. I actually had trouble walking after, I was so overwhelmed. I was swollen pretty bad, I iced the area for 2 and a half days and it went down. The area stayed pretty tender and sore upon touching for awhile.
The 2nd session was 6 weeks later, and was a breeze It didn't hurt much at all and hardly swelled.
This 3rd session was 6 weeks after the 2nd. It wasn't as bad at the 1st session, but it was worst than the 2nd. The flooding acid feeling went all the way to the back of my head and it seemed my skin was more sensitive to the needle. And I got pretty swollen again. But it's Friday and while I still have some swelling, it doesn't hurt unless I really press into the area.
I'm hoping I see a lot of change over the next couple of weeks, but I've been telling myself that the doctor has done this procedure before, and if she tells me I need 4 sessions, then I probably need all 4 to get the results I want. Sorry for the long winded response, I just couldn't find many personal anecdotes about it when I started, so I wanted to be as thorough as possible.
I love this. I am 24 and i have DEEEEEEEEP set lines on my forehead. A gal is expressive. Botox boosted my confidence 110%, my forehead was smooth as a baby's ass ... for 3 months. It was an exhausting feeling when it wore off, knowing I would have to pay $300 dollars multiple times a year. I really appreciate this video, and learning to love my expression lines
My mom & aunt talk about this constantly. They're in their mid 50's and according to them, their eyelashes won't grow as long, and the mascara formula they used for decades no longer wants to work with them and just ends up running all over the place. Eyeshadow is impossible to keep on and they feel like makeup just isn't the same for them anymore.
My thoughts:
I had a very small chest, and growing up, it was AWFUL. I felt deformed and ugly. I saved and saved. and finally got the chance to get breast implants (when i was 23), and i have never regretted it. Not for a nanosecond. HOWEVER...like you said, i did it for ME. Not because i wanted to fit a mold, or compare with others. I just did not feel like my physical appearance matched how i felt like i looked. Does that make sense? I feel like reasons are important, and A LOT of self-reflection needs to go into making the decision.
Regarding wrinkles, i am hoping to one day get the vertical line between my eyebrows smoothed out. (i would say "my elevens", but i inly have one LOL) But my OTHER wrinkles, i love. My crows feet COME ALIVE when i smile and laugh...and that is one of my favorite things about my face. My daughter (13) frequently says how cute she thinks wrinkles, and crow's feet, and smile lines are. She thinks old people are just as cute as babies. I love her perspective, and i make an effort to see myself through that lens everyday.
***EDITED TO ADD: i also LOVE my stretch marks. After 4 babies, i have quite a few. I love how silvery they are, and they stand out SO BEAUTIFULLY when i'm tanner in the summer. I could never get rid of them...they are my gifts from my children that i will have forever.***
A little story...one day about a year ago, i had just gotten out of the shower, and i was standing naked in front of the mirror. I was having a "down-on-myself" kind of day, and i said to my husband. "i'm getting OLD." (i'm 47) He looked at me, came over and hugged me and said, "Yep. So am i. We said a long time ago that we wanted to grow old together, and now we're doing it." Then he smiled and kissed me. We've been together for 28 years, and he's a blessing.
One more point...while i think that it is important to understand that to GET surgeries and other procedures for the wrong reasons is bad, i also feel that NOT getting them done for the wrong reasons is equally bad. I've heard so many women say "i want to get ______ done, but my boyfriend/husband won't let me." WTAF?! Or people decide not to do it because the people in their lives tell them that getting stuff done means they're vain, or just want attention, or whatever. This kind of shaming is not ok either.
Sorry i'm so wordy; i'm a talker IRL too. LOL
Wow. The end of your comment made me cry, what a beautiful sentiment. This video has given me a LOT to think about 🖤
ok, the end made me tear up a bit
Total 'awwwww' moment at the end. Definitely left me with a lump in my throat
So you guys married young? How was it? I feel like now people don’t usually marry young and a lot of relationships dont last. I’m so happy for you guys!
In general there’s been less intensive research in female dominated health and medical related issues. Considering the consumers are primarily female, it makes sense we don’t know much about it.
Hi Alx, I just wanted to say that I love your channels and you! I'm 48 and I totally get what you're saying about aging. As a teenager, I had horrible acne, and I have some scarring that I'm really self conscience about. I try to use makeup to cover it, and that works well, but in my head, all I see is the scars. A couple years ago, I decided I was going to stop focusing on it. Also, I'm aging and I'm getting those wrinkles you're talking about. Being 48, I have to say, I'm aging really well, but the wrinkles are slowly starting to appear. So, I'm taking the , I'm not going to focus on them stance. I do notice them, but Hell I earned them and I'm going to ROCK them! You're beautiful, I'm beautiful, Be Beautiful! Wrinkles, scars and all. Much love! Shannon
Hi Alex! That's a great topic and I'm glad you're talking about it. I would like to comment on what you said in 10:05 where you advice that the people deciding for surgery should ask themselves if this is what they really want and if they are doing it for themselves. I would say, the better question is "why are they really doing this?". I think the majority of people going into surgery is pretty much 100% sure that this would make them happy, and also almost everyone going into surgery is convinced that they are doing it for themselves.
All I can hear from these people is: "I'm doing it only for myself, I really want this! I always wanted this! I was bullied... I want to feel better in my body". And than everyones answer is "if that makes you happy - do it".
But there is a lot of toxic behaviours coming along with these types of actions . First of all I believe that the honest answer to the question "why are you doing surgery?" is :
"I want men to want me", "I want to feel power over men and woman", "i want to be better than others" , "I want to be prettier than others", "i believe my looks are the only thing that i've got", "I just want to be pretty".
Most of woman that make these surgeries don't really dive deep into these thoughts... They just stop at "I want it, I will be happier with bigger boobs, bigger lips, nicer ass etc"...
Women that go and make these ridiculous surgeries (like Kardashian) create a problem for other women in the world and also create a huge problem for the feminism movement.
These girls instead of taking action and teaching society and people around them that we are all human, that we have character, that we have talent, that everyone has a heart and everyone is unique, that we are all diverse and that looks HAVE TO be different (not everyone has to have a big ass, small waist and huge lips) - these girls instead of making an impact - they go and change their looks, they obey society rules (mostly invented by men) and make the situation WORSE for every woman out there struggling with acceptance! They make other woman feel less, becuase they create this vision that looks are all that matter in a woman!
And I'm really sad that public people like kardashians instead of making a change in the world, instead of empowering woman they are making the situation worse: objectifying woman, sexualising woman, not teaching anyone any real values instead of shopping and looking good for men. Also they would never teach anyone that with your brains, with your character or, mostly important - with your heart - you can make greater impact than just with your appearance.
Sorry for a long post and my english lol
I find that taking care of my skin is much like dieting, everything in moderation and lots of common knowledge. I’m 48 and to the point where you were talking in your video about getting older and getting more wrinkles and dryer skin. I’m ok with wrinkles, I have to be, they’re gonna be there whether I like it or not 🙄 However, I choose to age gracefully by eating clean, drinking lots and lots of water, cleansing my face twice a day, using quality skin care products that will help slow down the aging process, sunscreen, etc. I’ve also chosen to go the route of microneedling (vampire facial) and a surgical procedure to remove the extra skin on my eyelids and removing the fat pads from under my eyes to get rid of my inherited under eye bags. About the Botox, I’ve never really thought about it but I’ve seen celebrities on tv that look terrible 😬😧 They have these weird permanent smiles on their face and their lips barely move when they talk. But as a wise man once said, never say never 🤷🏻♀️
I am also wanting to get my hooded eyes lifted! And also i am like you, doing what i can to stay ahead of things but in general, embracing the process.
That’s I think kind of where I’m at. I’m almost 41 and Sondierung getting Botox only in that frown line area (is that what they call Elevens?) Could not care less about crows feet etc. I don’t want to hide my age. I just dislike how the frown lines make me look grumpy. Same for possible future eyelid procedures - if they start to feel like they’re just weighing everything down that I can tell in my field of vision or something, I would totally get that fixed. Again, not to appear younger.
I never got to meet my mother in law, as she died at age 52. I gladly embrace signs of aging because they’re testament to me being alive.
@@xoxoLeony I think the lines around your mouth are called nasolabial folds or marianette folds? Maybe? 🤷🏻♀️
My armpits are sweating BALLS right now. Lol! Love it, thanks for being real🧡
I LOVE these honest talks, I put them while I work and it feels like I'm hearing a friend, it's so refreshing, lots of love from Mexico!
I'm 31 and was shocked to learn (from Vanderpump Rules) that people in their mid to late 20s were getting botox. I started having the mindful conversation with myself too. I thought it was unnecessary for people so young to do it until I really started to take notice in the fine lines in my face and everything else I dislike about it. In a nutshell, I can't justify spending money on it for myself. To each their own, but I have a hard enough time convincing myself that it's okay to spend $200 on a really great haircut and color once or twice a year for MY OWN self esteem. With that said, if money wasn't an obstacle for me, I still have a hard time with the idea of letting go of using facial expressions, which is very much a part of my character in how I tell stories and make people laugh. So when I stare at myself under a microscope, I really try to remind myself that they show my character and my history (because even my uneven eyebrows have a great story behind them) and it gives me an opportunity to love that part of myself instead of resenting it.
However, I still have MANY moments of insecurity that make me wanna do it anyway. Maybe that's a natural reaction or maybe that's a deeper part of me that fears aging. I actually am afraid of getting so old to where I can't take care of myself. So maybe that deeper fear triggers me to want to suppress the signs of aging at face value. But I'm also a perfectionist/artist that gets annoyed with looking at my own asymmetrical face on a daily basis soooo that's the more immediate response I'm having. But going back to younger people getting their face done...again, to each their own, but I definitely noticed that I probably wouldn't have considered botox had I not learned about people my age and younger getting it done. I thought maybe it was just an L.A. thing that I didn't have to get involved with but then I have friends of friends who had it done and THEN it became a topic of "hmm, will I be the oldest looking 31 year old in a room of 31 year olds?" Which is dumb...because in my experience, all my students think I'm a teenager. So I really shouldn't need to consider botox, but here I am overthinking it.
I'm 19. When it comes to fillers and other beauty related surgeries, I'm scared of unconsciously following a beauty standard of the current time. The thought of getting something done has occured to me but even then (and until now) its really hard for me to decipher whether I've considered it because I truly think that it will make me more confident/feel good about myself or if it slipped my mind because my features isn't in line with the standard that's being pushed and labeled by social media as "beauty".
I'm scared of unconsciously conforming to what's currently the beauty standard knowing that that standard will continue to change.
I'm 23 years old and I feel the same way. I'm scared that if I decide to do it that I won't actually be doing it for the right reasons for myself but for others and their approval which isn't at all what I want or need.
I am 19 too and same. a few months back, everyone on tiktok was getting lip fillers and I suddenly wanted to. I had to take a step back. I realized that i wanted to do it because that's the current trend. Social media can be extremely damaging. I am still working many things on myself.
I was so happy Wayne Goss used models of all ages in his makeup marketing. It often feels like women over 30 are invisible these days and forget it if you are over forty. It’s not a good feeling. But at the same time, I get taken more seriously professionally than I ever have. It’s a weird push/pull. I have been considering getting something done just on my 11 lines . I haven’t done it yet though because it makes me a little nervous. Also my husband really doesn’t want me to, it scares him and he loves me the way I am.
The question for me is why we are constantly in the hunt for eternal youth or a standard of beauty. Obviously there is a whole issue of consumerism in this, but I think we should focus more on the beauty of each stage in our lives, even though personally I am terrified of getting old and not being able to fend for myself, I also think that the ephemeral of our lives is what makes them valuable. (forgive me if it's misspelled, English is my second language)
"the ephemeral of our lives is what makes them valuable" is so beautifully said! I couldn't agree more. There is beauty in every stage, and I'm excited to see it evolve.
Well said! Especially since english isn't your first language! 🙌🏼 We should be more focused on taking care of our health so that we can enjoy getting older!
can I ask - how old are you?
Yes, to give context to my comment, I am 33 years old, I was born and live in Costa Rica and I am an architect.
You speak better English than most people I know and we are English haha! Also very well said!
i just LOVE hearing you talking, it's like angels to my ears hahaha okay, the point: i'm 26, and i've never thought to put botox or something like that. BUT, I've thought so many times to have a nose job. Why? Because I have aquiline nose??? Man, the perfect nose does NOT exist!! And now the stereotype is to have a little striaght nose and... Who knows how's the beauty standards gonna be in 25 years??? I have a hang up due to my nose, but I don't see necessary a surgery. Great talk
@Joana Coelho exactly!!! If I'd do that, I just would be another "beautiful" girl with nothing special. What makes my face special is my nose.. I hate it sometimes, but it's what makes the face more attractive, so... Nope, I refuse to change it. Thanks a lot for the comment 💗
Not sure if someone said anything similar, I'm late to the video as a new sub.
As a 43 y/o woman, my wisdom is this. Enjoy what you have now. Because in 10 to20 years you will have bouts where you think to yourself, "I wish I had thought better about about my "__" because I was so "insert positive comment" and didn't realize it." Love yourself today and every day.
Loved this! Thank you for sharing! Keep J-lo and Gwen Stefani's lifestyle in mind, both over 50, ate like health-nuts, lots of exercise, no alcohol, emulate that and you've done what's best for your precious body. Sending love to all!
20. Guy.
The only thing I've considered getting done is a brow lift. I have semi-hooded eyes and pretty low 'man brows'. I know when I'm old it'll sag and i might wanna do something about it. But it's different because that's permanent and also not injecting something into your body. Neither botox or filler is something I'd consider in the foreseeable future.
I’m 20. Throughout highschool, it made me feel like an outcast for not caring much for botox, nose jobs, boob jobs, etc. It made me doubt myself and wonder if I’m a slob for not “caring” about how I look. I’ve always been one to not care about external opinions, but that doesn’t mean I don’t doubt myself every now and again.
A lot of my focus has shifted from how I LOOK to how I FEEL. For example, I focus on how exercising makes me FEEL. I do not exercise solely for the fact that it makes me look better - I use it as a way to escape work, school, stress, etc.
Another example is dressing for comfort, not for looks. I truly no longer care about how I appear to others. Life is too short to wear uncomfortable clothes.
The only thing that matters to me is the quality of relationships I have with other people. If you surround yourself with people that only care about how THEY look, chances are that you’ll start to think the same way (or will be GREATLY affected by these thoughts).
I’ve learned that the easiest way to start ‘not giving a f*ck’ is to evaluate WHO is around you, what you ACTUALLY mean to them, and ask yourself if they ACTUALLY care if you have a crooked nose or a gap in your teeth.
Thanx for the content Alx ♥️
your voice is so soothing. I love how you talk. it's like I'm your younger sister and you're kindly and lovingly teaching me life lessons
I'm 23 and I always feel torn between wanting to accept myself for who I am and what I look like, and wanting to take control and make myself into the person I want to be. 🤔
I haven’t finished watching the video, but actually I saw a video on TikTok only a couple days ago were a lady was talking about how She got preventative Botox and how it aged her face and showed some recent studies that showed some negative aspects of using preventative Botox and encouraged her followers to really think it through if they had it in mind. The response she got was SO SAD, people were being so rude left and right, being all “you don’t know what you’re saying, stop discouraging people don’t be silly!!”...she was only sharing her personal experience! It was insane!
I’m glad you talked about Botox and fillers. I’ve been seriously thinking of getting a nose filler but never heard too much of the side effects before. It is scary to imagine it never fully dissolving and there’s no way to see if it moved around your face. I am so glad you talked about this, because yeah I’ve only heard good things about fillers from other you tubers.
You're a breath of fresh air !! I love the way you think !! ( And I love the makeup free aspect of this channel! Nothing is really prepared and it feels so raw and authentic ) thank you !
I love this conversation. I appreciate the free flowing thoughts. It is refreshing to hear how you feel about this because I have had those same thoughts.
Love that honesty x and DONT touch your face .. yours is stunning ! Happy NY for 2021 💕💕💕
YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I’M GOOD ENOUGH. I LOVE YOU
I'm 48 and have taken pretty good care of my skin, but wish I would have been better with sunscreen in my 20's. I have never considered botox because I love being able to emote my expressions. I've never surrounded myself with people who put any expectations on my appearance. I ignore cultural/advertising messages regarding women and aging. As I've aged, I've come to love the changes in my face. I feel far more confident in my skin than ever before. I do take skincare seriously, so I am keeping my skin as healthy as possible for as long as possible. That being said, aging is going to happen so why fight it tooth and nail. I have too much to fight for and trying to Dorian Gray myself doesn't seem like a high priority for me. I want to look the best I can for my age, not necessarily reverse aging. I also have more respect for my whole body/mind in my 40's and I want to treat it with care and respect. I love seeing faces that show life, even if it's been a weathered life. It's all beautiful to me.
I’m 21 & everything you’ve said here resonates with me so much. I’ve always been a part of the Itty Bitty Titty committee & so breast implants have been on mind since high school but I’m constantlyyy going back & forth for the same reasons you’ve stated. It’s like, I hate that I feel like I’m missing something other women have but also, why am I unable to not compare myself to other women? Makes me wish our society was different & these procedures weren’t so normal & almost expected as standard... but I’m also a nurse & love that modern medicine can help people feel so confident... the paradoxes just never end for me
I like your nose and your under eyes. You’re beautiful with it, I also have dark circles. And a lot of people have unique nose shapes. Your nose is cute💕Please continue to love yourself Alex! I’m so proud of you how you have gained more confidence over the years! 😊❤️
I’ve had cosmetic surgery and Botox. I love my results. I absolutely love that we are able to have these options. It’s not for everyone. I started Botox due to having extremely horrible migraines. Added bonus, it helps lift my very hooded eyes. To me, it isn’t about aging; it’s about putting myself first. No different, in my opinion, than dying your hair.
I appreciate this conversation because I’ve been struggling too with this topic. I fear not being valued as a woman if I don’t look a certain way. I fear being invisible. Then I look at my mother and I see how beautiful she is and that makes me feel okay again.
I’ve been following you on IG for awhile because of your makeup but your Vieve tut showed up on my recommendations on UA-cam and now I’ve found this. I am hooked! I love your opinions and the way you do things! Keep it up!
i love your talks so much, i am so glad you made this channel and discussing all these topics. it genuinely feels less lonely to know that there are other people actively thinking about this and reassuring that there is someone willing to just have a discussion about it. i have been watching your content for a while know and I'm really grateful for all the videos you put out there, you're a genuinely good influence and the big sis vibes are so strong with this one:)) i respect your work so much and just wanted to say thank you. i never really looked at myself the way I do now that I have found out more about beauty, make-up and all that. i am so much more aware of so many things, and while it is good in a way, it was also a reason for me to lose some confidence (working on that "no fucks given" attitude though). some parts of me I can never change unless I do surgery, but that scares me so much. i just entered my twenties and I feel like I should enjoy it more, that I should be less at war with myself and focus more on things that are in my power to change. on the other hand , I can't say that it is easy. oftentimes, I feel like we are the hardest to please, and we just use other people as an excuse - "i' ll point it out and do smth about it before someone else says it"- to reference your other video. life is fun though, and it should be enjoyed, how we do that is an individual part, but change should come from a place of "positivity" rather than the opposite. i feel like that is how you end up with no/little to no regrets.
i really liked your thoughts on this topic. i had grown up believing in like natural beauty and things and saying i would never ever get anything done. i am 19 and earlier this year i started watching youtube videos on lip filler and other procedures and suddenly i was like "should i get lip filler?" "all these people have lip filler and they are pretty". the thing about influencers is that they actually DO influence our decisions. i believe what people say online by default almost. so when an influencer tells me about how great cosmetic procedures are, i kind of start to believe it myself. i'm not sure that is healthy. it's nice to hear this topic discussed more openly. i feel like online there is some sort of stigma in speaking even slightly negatively about plastic surgery and things of that sort because we are supposed to support everyone's choices. i think we can still support everyone's choices while talking about how we personally feel about these things.
I know this isn't the main topic of your video, but it's really nice to listen to how your self confidence grew over time. I wish I understood how important that was when I was younger. I was (and still am at times) very, very insecure and not comfortable with who I was growing up, but because I was home with my family, I never felt a need or felt like it was important to improve my confidence. Of course, it ended up backfiring when I moved to the city for college lol. I had to learn how to live, work, and make friends/network by myself, and in the process, I ended up letting myself be pushed around by others & in relationships. I also became very dependent and desperate for other's approval, even though I wasn't self aware of it. If there was one thing I wish I could've changed about my past, it would be learning how to be secure with who I was. I thought self confidence was such an internal thing, and never knew how it could affect so many external factors in my life. Yes, there are things physical things it affected like spending so much money on 'the best' make up and skin care and clothes. But also just not feeling confident to talk to strangers, letting myself be pushed around by people, not understanding how to set boundaries in relationships because my feelings were so dependent other's accepting me. Anyway, I don't know if that's something you have to live through to learn, but I think even if I just heard more people talk about it like this when I was younger, maybe it would have clicked sooner and not caused so much adversity. :(
At 39, I’m starting to feel very self conscious about my forehead lines, lines around my mouth and lips, and my under eye area looks like a scrotum. I never cared as much as I do now. While I would like to change lots of those things, I am trying to be ok with it. I am nowhere even close.
I think a lot of my facial aging concerns come from being overweight my whole life. I hate my body. My face was the one thing I was ok with and seeing it start to change in ways I don’t like has been a real kick in the gut.
Lmao my under eye area looks like a scrotum. O my God, judging by your profile pic you look beautiful! But thanks for making me laugh. I know this cliche to say but we are own biggest critics.
I had a very similar experience with my under eye filler. I had lost a lot of weight and as is I've always had hallow under eyes, so the weight loss made it look significantly worse. I ended up getting under eye filler twice, and let me tell you, my dark circles are much worse now than they were before. I'm not exactly sure why, I'm assuming it's because the skin is so thin and perhaps a vessel was hit during the process. Needless to say, I'm really glad you made this video. This all needed to be said, and I thank you for going against the grain.
Hey Alex, I'm 17. I've never really hated the way I look nor was I bullied or ridiculed. But social media had me thinking completely different. Just the way people look on social media that fit into the beauty standards according to society, which too keeps fluctuating. But the worst part was that when I would go on Instagram and see all these posts on my explorer page from cosmetologists promoting all these surgeries, saying it's safe, the before and after shots, the remarks from the patients saying it had changed their lives and stuff, all this at some point actually made me consider to do something on my face? When I've never had any problem with it till now? Just seeing things like that everyday constantly made me find "faults" and "flaws" with everything that was me. But thank God I have really good people around me, so I didn't end being swallowed into that blackhole. But I must say it was really hard to go back to just feeling okay about myself. Not even loving, just feeling fine you know? I'm at a good place now but I'm still learning how to unlearn all these things in my head and to look away when I see or hear something like those Instagram posts.
Damn this is long, I hope you read it xD Love you
I’m 27 and I have grey hairs coming in. That was the first time I was forced to think about aging and the fact that it’s coming a lot faster than I thought. I also have a hard time with my smile lines where makeup creases a lot more than it did before. It’s a weird stage to be in because I still feel young. People still tell me that I don’t look older than like 20 which is something I never really heard before. I never looked young for my age so idk why all of a sudden I do. I dye my hair so I guess they don’t know I have greys coming in😂 anyways, my point is that when it comes to aging, I feel both old and young at the same time. I’m in such a weird stage with it.
You're young. Honestly, you are nowhere near old. I worked with the elderly for a while and I can assure you that old is not until at least 70 for *most people. Stay fit and eat well. You're still young!
I am 60 and have never had anything done. In my heart of hearts I know that I would regret having disappointing procedures done more than never having anything done. Good skin care can really help with ageing and so that's been the route I've taken. Love this channel Alex ! Love from UK.
My idea is that if you have the money to invest in Botox, you should focus on facials and improving the elasticity of skin and rejuvenation before trying to fill certain lines. Idk. I used to have crazy forehead lines but started investing in better skincare and now I don't and it didn't take any Botox
I should probably not say anything to this. I'm 54, never had anything done, and I am fine with my looks. Can't understand that people less than half my age are already considering and doing all this stuff. I feel so sorry for them. Do they define themselves only by their looks? Or by "male response"? I don't get it.
In the end, I think that people should do what makes them happy. But if any kind of outside pressure comes into play, then it is more than likely not personal happiness, but something else - and certainly nothing a plastic surgeon can fix.
I love that you are talking about this.
Scary how misinformed people are about all these procedures, muscles wasting away from botox, fillers that stay inside of you for up to 10 years and not 6 months, nose fillers that can make you blind, Brazilian butt lifts that can clog your arteries and we dont know what they will look like in 20-40 years, breast implant illness, etc etc etc BODY DYSMORPHIA that cant be talked about because "you should do whatever you want with your body", propagation of abnormal beauty standards....++++ the financial aspect... are girls going to grow up thinking is normal spending 100s or 1000s of dollars every few months to "be ok" with themselves? So many lower income people save SO much money to get breast implants for example, and then they need an expensive MRI every 1-3 years, they need to change the implants in X amount of years, they might get breast implant illness (hopefully come across the information about it) and then pay for a super expensive surgery to remove them and then relearn how to like themselves... will they have the money? Even if they do, did they have to choose those things over other priorities their money could have cared for?
100% think people should do what they want with their body, but i dont think the conversation should stop there. I feel like people are so afraid of speaking up about this. The truth is that a lot of this procedures comes from low self esteem (wherever it comes from) and it propagates the same things since young girls look at that as the norm and start thinking that a bumpy nose, wrinkles, pores, small boobs, big waist, small bum, small lips etc are not good enough.
And where does this stop?
I think that those views are what we are fed. I remember being a child/teen and thinking how gorgeous some older ladies are... years later i became scared of that.
it's partly because society also rewards people for being beautiful - pretty privilege. how can you blame people for wanting to look a certain way because they literally benefit from life for being beautiful. im not saying that this is how it should be, but it just is
regarding "natural" vs. chemical. they are the SAME thing. so-called clean beauty is another marketing strategy to get you to buy a product and has no basis in science. Read Skin care: the ultimate no-nonsense guide by Caroline Hirons for more information. 🤓
Seeing my parents age is so beautiful to me. Every gray hair or wrinkle they have is a reminder of all the years they've been my amazing parents to me and all the years of joy they had before that. They hate that they're aging and don't look as plump or shinny or saturated as they used to. It makes me so sad that they can't see how beautiful their aging is. That the lines by their eyes and lips were left there by laughter. That their gray, thinning hair and creased hands are a testament to being so human. Aging means you're living, and that is an amazing blessing to be celebrated.
I’m 26 and have wanted under eye filler for a long time and have also considered Botox in my forehead. I’ve had a small line across my forehead since I was 12, and I’ve always wanted to get rid of it. Something has always stopped me from pulling the trigger and actually doing it. It’s great to hear the perspective of someone who got work done and wasn’t happy with it, I feel like right now a lot of my friends are getting stuff done and loving it and I totally get where you are coming from when you say you have fomo.
wow i love this channel so much 🤝
I'm 22 and the way I've felt for years is that winkles and aging are beautiful/worthy of being cherished, because not everyone gets to grow old, so in a lot of ways the signs of years lived are a blessing! Even as a kid I thought "oh I hope I get crows feet when I'm older because that will mean I was happy a lot"!
Your question of “I have to do this” really makes me reevaluate if my want for Botox is my own or just what I’ve been told/taught???
Thank you for making this 💜
Thank you for this! Grateful to hear someone talking about it so publicly. As a 34 year old makeup artist seeing little lines creeping in, I feel a lot of pressure to do botox to keep the lines away since “my face is my business.” And being in Southern California, Were almost the minority if we’re not doing it. I want to “age gracefully” But I’m still apprehensive...it’s a toxin...that were injecting and paralyzing our muscles...were injecting them in a place near our brain! Just like in the last few years, we’ve learned about breast implant illness (which was totally unheard of 10 years ago), what are we going to discover are the side effects of all these injections that 20 year olds are lining up to get. Anyways...I appreciate your balanced view of not rushing to get in line for a quick fix
You are refreshing and real... you are beautiful & extremely informative and an artistic soul... keep doing what you’re doing! You’re an exception!
If I wasn't on my phone, I would leave a novel. I'll sum it up with, "Time to turn around and face the congregation, sister." I adore you! I turned 56 the other day and totally relate to your thoughts. May the rest of your day be effortlessly productive and blissfully drama-free!
We're all just ghosts driving meat coated skeletons made of stardust...what do we have to be afraid of, really?
LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS. Brought up a lot of insecurities and thoughts I have watching so many videos from “influencers”. All the fillers, all the Botox, all the extensions. It’s really hard to mentally strip that stuff away and see that person and a regular human being. It’s a vicious circle for people exposed on social media and for those who are wall flowers just watching them.
Being someone who believed in Botox as a preventative I still do-in moderation! Like you, skincare in a first and foremost. I’ve always felt like my lips would be so much better with filler but have yet to pull the tigger due to the botch jobs and the fact that it fades within 6-12 months depending on physical activity. I’m HIGHLY dependant on my physical for mental and physical reasons. Assuming the filler would dissolve faster for me than most I’ve talked myself out of it multiple times. Highly appreciate you laying it all out on the table 🙌🏼
I'm 47 and never even considered botox or anything like that. I look a lot younger (everyone around me says so - wish I could post a pic), no wrinkles, just a few very fine lines beneath my eyes. But that's because I started with skin care very early on (around 23, which at the time was not even considered needed) . In my opinion, the younger you start with botox, filled etc, the worse it gets in your older age, it couldn't possibly improve... but that's just me... Love your talks 💖
I'm in the first part of this video but just wanted to thank you personally cause this kind of channel is what a lot of people need just to write and talk and I love how humanized is your whole content and how you care to listen to us like we care to listen to you. Thanks
As someone who is now 2 years into their 30s I can see how my 'attention' from other people regarding my looks has slightly dropped back. I don't feel bad about it, it's just an observation. I don't feel bad about my looks or my age or facial ageing, but I am quite often getting told I look a lot younger than my age. So I'm not sure if I'm actually comfortable with ageing or if I'm kidding myself that I am because I just haven't quite hit that stage where I have started to obviously age... and, when I do, maybe I'll totally change my mind and become totally insecure about it. I would definitely be wary of saying you just want to age naturally and gracefully when you're young with beautiful skin, you don't know how you will feel when you're not anymore.
Sorry I had to edit a few times because I was typing manically as this topic is really interesting to me! 😂
I thought about this phenomenon myself. Getting less attention may not be, because you look less attractive. The looks you got on the street were probably mostly from very young men. When you start to look older and maybe dress the part, they may get intimidated and not show much attention. Other than this, you may be expressing yourself differently than before, which is completely normal and okay. As in, dressing completely differently, going to different places, some lifestyle changes etc. No one is going to target someone that they are less likely to get; they would need to work harder. I think, you should test your theory to find out the possible reasons of this perceived change in the attention you receive. I am sure you are as gorgeous as ever though 😊
Another perspective on "attention" from men: As you get older, you get to choose when you get it. I fully accept I will never again pull eyeballs like when I was 15-25. It's the nubile thing. Frankly it happens to young men too, to a lesser degree (I have sons). Now I can go incognito, or I can make an entrance and gain attention. When I'm traveling, it's very convenient to be slightly invisible, vs. when I was young and traveling and had to be very strategic about dealing with male attention.
I'm speechless 🥺 you are amazing in every way possible. Since i started to watch you channel (the beauty one) I've grown to accept myself so much more , cuz you keep it real in every aspect and i absolutely think you're a stunning woman 💜
I'm 25 and i can relate to almost everything you talk about.
Thank you for putting on the effort to read and engage in our options
Please talk about the simple things that brings you joy when you feel a bit down.
The UA-cam algorithm must have known what I needed because your beauty channel popped up (which I love) which led me to this channel that I REALLY LOVE! I love your talx! They are so authentic and genuine and real!
duuuuuuuude. someone finally needed to say/speek truth into this.
im chronically ill and my hair is getting patches of grey from treatment and im 26. my friend said to me 'oh but it's fine because it's from treatment but not ageing'. why does it make it not fine when it's a natural part of life... the result is literally the same
I love this channel! And I really appreciate that you don’t wear any make up - it makes me feel like I’m your friend in a way :D When I think about all those things, plastic surgery, fillers etc. I don’t think they are necessarily bad, but I think they can start a “negative cycle” in society… the more people do those thing the more pressure there is for everybody to do it. And although it is nice to make your body/ face look nice with clothes and make up and other stuff we shouldn’t forget to also appreciate our bodies just the way they are. A thought that helps me a lot when I think I am not beautiful enough: Bodies aren’t supposed to look good - they are supposed to function and enable you to literally live. And signs of aging are signs of living. Of course, some “negative symptoms” like wrinkles can also be an indicator of an unhealthy lifestyle (e.g. smoking)… that’s why I want to take care of my body and give it all it needs but other than that I try to just love it like it is 😊 I’m 25 btw
I am 56. For years, people guessed my age to be 10 years younger, which was a real ego boost. then menopause happened and I let my hair go gray around the same time. Both things "aged" me but I want to stay as "natural" as possible because when I look at women who use fillers etc. they look weird to me. I may get surgery at some point, but for now I'm focused on skincare and overall health. I do resent the beauty industry and society beating us down and reinforcing ageism. Getting older is wonderful despite what you have heard. 🤓
I woke up one morning last week and typed up an entire outline about how ageism literally screws everyone over because of how we internalize it, let it influence our self-concept, and then become perfectly ripened consumers for a never ending cycle of strategies that corporations use to profit off of the promise of youth/value.
Recently there has been more of call to move away from body positivity to body neutrality and I believe that age neutrality should also be included in that discussion.
I'm 37. I'm so glad I haven't done any injections. A lot of my friends have and I am OBVI so chill with whatever they want to do. I do facial massage and I feel like that makes a difference with my frown line. I hear you with the data collection. The long term research. ... 🤷