Courtney, someday you should check spam comments in your comment section that redirect us to telegram for potential crypto and romance scams. You are owner of your channel and every day i get same telegram crap stuff. Hoping you will look into this properly.💢
well if I be a good guy. She takes my money If I be a bad guy. I will get arrested. So I guess I have to do nothing about it and not care about anything that doesn’t interest me. Still doesn’t work but I am amazing at minding my own business
If I put in too much effort then she will think I’m just gonna use her. If I put in too little effort then she’ll think I’m not interested. It’s insanity.
That's not true, you can show interest without creating an imbalance in the behaviors of both sides, all you have to do is express it periodically with your words, and obviously express it with your actions; you don't even have to say too much but certainly don't do it daily and don't be obsessive.
I feel you sometime you gotta just let them do the work just to know that it’s 100% legit even if that means staying single and sexless at 4-6 years at a time I’m just not gonna put in effort and move the world just in hopes anymore.
Yeah, I feel like such an autist... but I really need someone to clarify this. The "instructions" seem so vague and contradictory. The conclusion I'm leaning towards is... If you're good looking or rich... you can probably be nice or rude or attentive or inattentive and it doesn't matter. Anything works. If you're ugly/poor either way is gonna backfire.
One harsh truth I would add is this: You might live your whole life without ever being in a relationship. Somethings things in life are never guaranteed, relationships are one of them. You are going to have to make peace with this.
Exactly. For a significant amount of men (around one-quarter to one-half), they are already out of the dating game before it even started. Mainly being one or more of short, ugly round face, small "d", etc.
@@coolnut99 Not exactly true, people can make themselves viable options, just like people can disqualify themselves. It's not so black and white, things change. Short buff guys are more attractive than tall noodle limbed guys. It's all about what you do with what you have.
@@coolnut99 You're kind of crude, Aren't you? The fact is, being short, ugly, having a round face, or having a small dick - might as well be an adult and spell it out - aren't deal killers for every woman. The truth is that many men who go through life without a relationship are in that boat because they gave up. I'm short, 5' 6", but there are PLENTY of women shorter than me. I don't know if I'm ugly, *** but I'm going on a second date with an attractive woman who said I'm attractive. There are other things she really likes about me, and some of them came about as the result of watching Courtney's videos. Unless you're gay, bisexual, transgender or a woman, keep your stupid comments to yourself. For the record, I'd be delighted if a gay man, a bisexual man or a transgender woman found me attractive. I wouldn't take them up on any offers, but I wouldn't be offended at all by the compliment. Oh yeah, I'm happy to be complimented by cisgender women, too. Call me, ladies. I don't know if I have a round face, but I don't think I do. Even if I did, there are women that prefer round faces. If a guy thinks his face shape is wrong, and he's able to do it, he might want to consider growing a beard. (Or growing a backbone.) Some women like beards, some women hate 'em. As for having a small dick, all I'm going to say about that is I checked and it's within what's considered the normal range for Americans. I'm no prize when it comes to physical appearance - I'm half bald, I'm saggy from years of weight gain and weight loss, my beard is white and my hair and mustache are almost white. But somehow enough women on dating apps find me attractive enough to go on at least one date. What's important is my personality. I'm a gentleman (there are lots of components to that), I'm funny and I'm intelligent. *** Here's a video that's going to put a lot of you to shame. Robert Hoge developed a tumor inside his skull while he was still in the womb, and as a result he was born with a severe facial deformity. He endured years of bullying, and (I haven't watched the video in awhile) underwent at least one corrective surgery. The last time a surgery was suggested, the risk of blindness was too high, so he chose not to proceed. He's married, and as of 2015, had a 15-year-old daughter. He wrote a book called "Ugly," and he's more successful than almost everyone here. So if you think you're ugly... ua-cam.com/video/QbxinUJcLGg/v-deo.html _STOP WHINING!_ Get to work on yourselves and don't give up. Juat don't give up.
@tylerwerthmuller2005 I would say more often then not your wrong there's plenty of videos were they have skinny average looking 6ft guy and a muscular 5'5 guy side by side and ask girls which they would choose and more often then not its the 6ft guy
I used to be a bitter angry man, but after a while I decided to self reflect and let it go. I’m ok now and I believe I’m a lot better off now. I still can’t get dates but I’m fine without a partner.
Good job man. Much of the content you see on here doesn't help with that. Such as redpill content or political grifters. Much of the issues they talk about does not affect you in your day to day life, so there's no point getting worked up over it.
Courtney, every time I watch one of your videos, I come away depressed, you make me go from thinking my chances of finding a girlfriend is small, to thinking I have no chance.
I don't think that is the goal of her videos. She's only trying to provide advice/help. Some things you take and improve on, and other things, its not like you have to. Even men with GFs /Wives don't follow all of this advice, but maybe some parts stick and other parts don't. This is all her perspective anyways.
Consider why you feel depressed and what you can do to manage your emotions. Feel how you need to feel, but then try to be solution oriented and focus on what you have control over. Courtney doesn't have all the answers and can't do the work for you. Please don't tie your sense of worth to having a gf. Focus on your self-improvement journey and appreciating the community you have around you. Or take small steps to develop one based on your interests and values ❤️
I’m 32 and never been in a relationship. I’m new to dating apps and been getting many matches lately. Finally set up a date for yesterday and the girl canceled on the morning of. This hurt because of all the time and energy I spent preparing for this. It’s hard to find the motivation these days
Your problem is the apps. They are useless. Women are only swiping right 5% of the time. Which means they aren't reading profiles and trying to get to know you on a personal level. It's all purely based on looks. As a man your looks are important but only 1 aspect of attracting girls. Get out and meet women in real life. that's always going to be your best bet.
You have to change your mindset, the girl doesn’t know u at all so it’s not personal. Dating apps is a numbers game so u need to harden your mind or it will break you. However if you can do this then it’s a useful tool. Keep in mind: maybe 5% or less of girls will actually match w you. Of those girls maybe 1% will actually talk/lead to a date. Of those girls maybe 50% will cancel. Don’t take it personal bro, on to the next! If anything the fact that you are getting this far shows progress
Rejection is protection. It saves you time for better experiences, opportunities, and people in your life. You don't have to worry about "what could have been" when you know "what they missed out on" moving forward. Show up for yourself and the right things and people will do the same, and do it for you too.
What women are physically attracted to varies a lot more than what men are physically attracted to. A great quote I heard once was "women don't really want good looks, what woman really want is a man." You can have many attractive masculine traits without being physically attractive
So I listened to the first one a couple times. I couldn't believe that she was telling us guys that WE have to put forth an effort. Seriously? She's really saying men have to put forth an effort? Oh, I am sorry was making the first approach and talking to you and asking you out and planning the date and keeping the conversation going despite getting only "yeah" "sure" and my personal favorite "I don't know whatever" back as responses not enough? We're the only ones putting forth any effort!
@@CourtneyRyan I honestly got so frustrated with what you said about men needing to put in an effort I didn't even finish your video. Look as a man who was in a marriage that ended because my exwife was selfish and claimed that I was not putting in effort because she couldn't be lazy but I was killing myself trying to help her and doing as much as her. Ultimately this ruined our marriage and I was actually relieved a little bit when she cheated. It still hurt but I now had a good reason to file for divorce. The concept that men don't do enough really is offensive. Men make the first approach. We take all the risk and all women provide are hints and signals. We're not mind readers and how are we supposed to know if it's a green light or just the woman being polite? After we make the first approach and break the ice we then have to initiate the first date which we have to plan. We pay for the first date. We keep the conversation going on said date because all women say is one word or otherwise short answers. We initiate the second date which more than likely we plan. We have put in the majority of work. Now if she wants to keep dating us she answers our calls if not she doesn't even put in the effort to tell us so but just ghosts us. We don't even know until we see her out and about with another guy who can be just as frustrated as we were. If things continue we keep making effort until the relationship that's now considered a success is to move to the next level. I am of course talking about marriage and even there we're the ones to buy a ring and plan the evening we're gonna pop the question. We ask and the lady says yes or no or whatever. In the marriage we have to work to support the family but be there for the family. We try to keep the wife happy all while doing our professional job that supports the house. Our money goes into the joint account while anything she makes goes into her account. She spends her money on herself until she runs out of money then she spends "our money" on her too. Saying men need to make more of an effort is offensive. We're making the effort and have been since the beginning. Women have been complaining that they can't find men. Well it's time for some equal effort from women. You want love? Deserve it. Stop blasting men and saying we need to make an effort when we are making the majority of it. What I think is funny is that women haven't figured it out yet. We are unhappy and if we're unhappy we are not asking women out. Did it occur to any of the women complaining about men not approaching them to approach men? No, because they don't really care about us just what we do for them. Women need men but don't actually love men. They only love what they get from men. They only love what they themselves ultimately. We men need to take care of themselves and take a break from breaking their backs to please women. If women don't like that then maybe THEY should actually put in more effort. We have a raw deal lady and we're fed up. Now I am not saying that women are evil or anything. I don't hate women and don't think men should go their own way or whatever. I am just saying that an equal relationship demands equal effort. We're not getting equal effort and we know it. Things aren't going to be fixed until we acknowledge that. But it's not all bad for women either. Women taking the initiative for example means they're a greater moral agent and they have more choice in their lives. If you like a guy don't drop hints but ask him out. Just don't insult him or gross him out. I have been on the receiving end of that and it doesn't feel good and isn't flattering just infuriating. I am a human being too dang it. I may be stoic and keep things contained but it's not like I don't feel. At our root we're all the same just socialized to be different. I am expected to be cold and stoic but inside I'm hurting but won't make it anyone else's problem. But for a relationship if the benefit isn't greater than the cost then I am not going to bother and more men are coming to the same conclusion. Bottom line it's a two way street and not a one way road. It takes two to tango so stop blaming us. We're not going to just keep going on with things the way they always were.
@@CourtneyRyan how the hell do women put in effort when women play a passive role in the whole courtship and dating process? it should be obvious as to what i'm talking about, guys always being expected to start an interaction and do the asking out, plan and set up the dates, go in for the kiss, be the one to initiate sex for the first time, men having to take the god damn lead in everything, so how the hell are women putting in effort? women for all time, have basically always been passengers in the whole dating process, thats why for all time, there will always be more male wizards than female wizards.
Just keep in mind rejection from a girl can catch you by suprise, things can seem to be going good, but the girl has made up her mind and trying to figure out a way to tell you at the right time she's not interested. Its like going on a job interview that goes well not to be chosen for the job. Don't get your hopes up too high, just know there's a high chance you'll get turned down because modern women's standards in today's world are very high.
What is better, harsh truth but honesty or good vibes but limited love? I think it's fair to say that girls are more about good vibes and guys rather are harsh but straightforward. So IMO if girls tried sugarcoating in relationships less and guys would take a more relaxed approach, relationships would improve for both sides
100 percent agree. And online dating just messed up everything. There's always the illusion of something better just around the next corner. I got ghosted recently after a month of dating this girl and everything seemed to be going great. Im not sure what i did wrong or if someone she thought was better just happened to show up. Then one day the texts are slow and the next she just stops speaking to me. Pretty harsh when people ghost someone they've been dating for a bit.
2 harsh truths for men in today’s dating world: 1. It’s not easy, not fun, and you’re more than likely being used or “settled” for because of your resources. 2. Hookup culture is making dating a lot worse day by day…especially long term dating, which most men are trying to pursue in women. This is all from what I’ve experienced and my friends have experienced and described to me (Im only in my early 20s). As Madonna once sang: We are living in a material world (women specifically) which is actually happening to this day and will continue for who knows how long…
Men don't care about pursuing long-term dating until they're in their late 20s or early 30s and after they're done throwing their community dick to as many people as possible that will catch it. And women recognize that, so they decided to go outside and have their fun too rather than wait around as virgins only to be the 57th person a guy sleeps with before he's decided to settle down. We're in this current state of the dating world because of whore choices by men and y'all need to stop acting like y'all don't know that. "Men can't be whores, they're supposed to have sex with 300 people! They only have to be providers!"....."A man can't be a whore because the penis is like a key and a vagina is a lock!" This mentality got us to this point. And I say that as a tall, educated, outgoing, and good-looking man who has had zero problems even talking to women, but doesn't care to have a laundry list of bodies. I had a friend in college that made it his objective to fuck 50 women in one semester and had the audacity to say he really likes women that haven't been with a bunch of people.
This channel: "Rejection is a part of life..." 90%+ of men: "Yes, we know... we know." This channel: "you have to put in a little effort..." 100% of men: "That means all the 6's". (you know what I mean.)
The harsh truth about dating that I had to learn is that I will never be good enough for anyone the effort I put in, what I said, or the mindset I had never mattered no woman was gonna have any romantic interest in me no matter what. I know that sounds doom and gloom but it’s just a truth I have to live with.
I'm in the exact same boat and it sucks I just had an anniversary pass but it's from the last time I had sex and that was 10 long year's ago sucks to be a man in these dark times
Here are the truths, fellas: 1) You have to be willing to put in the effort (in addition to that, make sure that the woman you are dating also does her fair share) 2) You attract what you are, not what you want (be positive, confident, have effective communication skills) 3) Rejection is a part of the process (you are going to fail more times than you will succeed, and that is okay) 4) Nice guy and gentleman are different things (be civil and respectful without expecting anything in return; just don't be doing good deeds blindly) 5) Dating isn't black and white 6) Being angry and bitter will not help you (you have the right to complain, but ONLY YOU can be proactive on what you can do to improve) A truth not mentioned (mainly tip): 7) Take your time when it comes to dating. If you are going to rush, you are going to come off as desparate. It's better to be single for a little bit longer than to end up with unnecessary drama that could have some nasty effects later on! What else can be added to the list?
Since when do (Western) women do their "fair share"? The ratio seems to be (at least) 60/40 more like. Relationships where it's 50/50 seem to be few and far between. Men have to do bend over backwards doing just about everything because it comes across as "more attractive" so women don't have to do it while they mostly sit there making their next Tiktok/Instagram post. The dating game in the West is broken and the proof is in the pudding. Just look around. Women make the rules and fancy themselves the prize (most of them) that aren't worth it. Better to skip the game and look elsewhere. Just about everywhere else the women are better than what we find in the West
Problem is online statics show the women are only swiping the Top 1% to 3% of the best looking guys. Then they wonder why the hot guys keep leaving them as they have 10 other women waiting to go out with them at a drop of a hat. These same women are ignoring the other 97% of men and this is the result.
@@franciscoaguilar123I know so many “ugly” guys in relationships. I work with the autistic population. One of my students refuses to wipe after using the bathroom or shower. He has a girl who’s crazy about him. She’s also autistic. I think a lot of men miscalculate their attractiveness in comparison to the women they want. Men decide what’s attractive on a woman in a romantic/sexual way, and women do the same for men. If women are rejecting you, you’re not attractive to them
Is that what dating is reduced to for you? Shopping for clothes? This is the source of women's misery: They can easily find something and someone that fits them well, but they will ALWAYS be unhappy about it, convincing themselves that is something and someone that fits PERFECTLY! It's a moot point anyway. Regardless of what the purpose of dating actually is, more are simply walking away from the practice as a whole. The standards are impossible.
Saying that guys who are nice have ulterior motives and are really malicious is the biggest line of BS I have ever heard in my life. Very little offends me but as a guy who has been a nice guy until people made me mean, I am actually extremely offended that anyone would say being a nice guy is out of malice.
People change. They learn. Learn languages, learn playing piano and learn speaking in front of big audiences. And so, the majority of men learns about the shallowness of nowadays women. Be it in relationships or business: Life forms us to function! Shallowness and hypergamy turns the majority of men into cynicists - which is good: Nature protects most of the men from a) suicide and b) going postal (though both, suicide rates are 4x higher among young man than among young women, and the number of mass shootings out of frustration seems to grow). However, the majority of men just - rightly - turns away from women, keeps being friendly with them at workplaces etc., but does not feel much respect for women any longer. That is alright and makes perfectly sense. How would most male sea lions feel, if they were able to write books about their lives as loners? One male of a population procreated with all females at the beach in that species. Internet and modern dating apps turn human society back to nature, back to the last 4000 years of Stone Age (where a study on gen-data has revealed: Up to 17 women have procreated with just one - obviously very attractive - male, before man-made moral based societies and religion have changed this at the cost of oppression of women: This era is now ending). If you tell people to reflect their use of plastic about pollution in oceans, then they will agree. If you tell people to reflect their emission of CO2 about climate change, then they will agree. If you tell people to reflect their meat consumption to save water, then they will agree. ...but when telling people (women) to reflect their dating behaviour (also for their own sake as aging singles), then hell freezes: "HOW DARE YOU not respecting female preferences". This is bigotry of modern society that we have to accept.
You have to turn that around. You have to not be so nice on the outside, but you are allowed to be nice in your own head. People think being nice equals weakness, including women. If you do not act nice all the time, then people will not take advantage of you. But once people pick up on you are not "nice" and state what you want and be confident, then that gives you the room to be nice to people on an individual level. Watch any Clint Eastwood movie for an example. Everyone always thinks his character is a gruff mean guy on the outside, but then he does something extremely nice for someone and it is totally unexpected by the other character. Be a jerk in public, nice in private.
The term. Nice guy has been bastardized to mean a con man. So be a good man. Justin Waller put out the idea that a good man should be able to hold a baby and slit a throat in the same day. Something to ponder
Be careful with rejection, there's a point of being rejected where you become indifferent to it, which is good, but if this continues, you then start to expect it. That's where I'm at unfortunately.
That's when you stop dating, reinvest in yourself, then re-engage. If I'm running a dungeon that's too hard, I don't quit the game. I review my build, my kit, and I level up. Then I try again. Rinse and repeat. You can win, you just have to figure out how.
I'd add some more harsh truths to this: 1) Few females and males have truly learned how to be women and men. 2) It's rare to find real men or real women because hardly anyone of either sex has been properly taught (if taught at all) about how to approach dating properly and how to have proper, meaningful relationships in the first place. 3) The world in general has become a far more selfish place on the whole, which has greatly complicated finding good candidates that succeeded at #s 1 and 2 above.
7:50 I would point out here that it's USUALLY not a malicious thing. These "nice guys" were oftentimes specifically taught to act in this way by their mothers, usually single mothers, for their entire life. When your mom teaches you your whole life that women don't want sex and that it's never appropriate to want it or ask for it, then you're left with the idea of doing enough "nice things" for her that she eventually decides to pay up. It's terrible, but that's what lots of especially single moms teach their boys
This. Tack on that boys are taught by society and women to be ashamed of their sexuality, so they get into not only the mindset you described, but also the mindset that if you have any sexual desire at all, you're a disgusting POS. At least a few of my dating failures came from discomfort over my own sexuality inhibiting me from making any move that could steer me away from being friend zoned.
@@gk_zone4274 Exactly. Both of my parent and grandparents taught me the same. Only after seeing real life spoiled toddlers in grown womans body I saw the other side. Also when I've seen in person people I know having their lives ruined by females with malicious intentions, interested only in getting free house, free experience stuff even if the husband's hobbies and life gets destroyed. Being a gentleman also means being very strict about something and having strong moral and values, not just being polite to her and give her flowers every time you see her. In modern terms it's not accepting BS behaviour from anyone, especially the wife. The last one I learned it from both of my grandparents.
It’s easy to say for someone like you who will never have to take the first step, will never be rejected or ghosted. Women are too complicated and never straight forward in saying what they want.
It true that women don't approach but have you ever thought about how hard it is to be the one that has to do the rejecting? Especially rejecting someone that can overpower you, and might get shitty.
@@aliadeeb6859practice makes perfect. No one ever said that it wasn't hard to do the rejecting. But it's the difference of deciding what to eat from a buffet versus trying to convince someone to give you a bite of food from their plate.
@@AugustSchroif I have to strongly assume by that comment that you believe most or all of the problems in the world are stemmed from the female sex? If this is not what you meant, please explain.
@@hamilton9651You're replying to a bot, h - the one that's infesting the comments here, underneath many of the comments from real people. Best tegards
Since I'm often portrayed as friendly, compassionate and respectful to everyone, I'm not really sure whether or not I'm truly a nice guy or a gentleman. I have my flaws, but I have a heart of gold.
For the past three years I have been hitting the gym every almost every single day, packing on a substantial amount of visible muscle. I also graduated with a Master's in Software Engineering last month, drive a nice car, also, continuously improving myself and feeling better about myself and still cannot manage to even maintain consistent conversations with girls whatsoever, let alone get a date, despite the fact that I am always upbeat and make them laugh. At this point I don't think there's any hope left. I have noticed that most of these modern women are very disrespectful towards men and only attracted towards toxic guys who treat them bad.
Take photos of yourself outside, not in the gym. Change every profile photo to your best one in the most relaxed, comfortable, natural setting. Don't mention the gym, job, cars or money on your bio and have no photos of any of it. They want you, not your stuff. Ask more questions with girls, listen more, talk less. Be mysterious, but honest. Don't tell them everything, let them work on finding out. Tease them, focus on not just laughing, but being relaxed and open with them. Offer a hot drink local to them, call it a first date, nothing else, have an hour's chat with them. They'll like you more.
@@PenguinHealth I really appreciate the advice, thank you. I do have several photos of me outside and not just the gym of course but that's one of my main passions outside of my career. The issue is I start conversations off very well with them, I do ask questions as you've mentioned but several minutes later I get ghosted. I have no control over that. I only speak when it's time to speak. All the time what happens to me is that I get ghosted, ghosted ghosted, left right and center and to be fair I've gotten to a point where I really don't give a fuck anymore, I used to before.
@@MrSemro12345asking questions is sort of the wrong answer at the same time. The conversation must flow naturally and be fun. That’s the biggest problem. While I know that’s how it must go I have no idea how to drive it to be such. Also, many MANY dating profiles on apps are fake these days. They make their money of men, that’s their biggest consumer. Also why women get 20billion matches on them. You are literally a needle in a haystack on a dating because even less attractive women get HUNDREDS of matches in a very short time. Going out and putting yourself out there has always been the best way. As horrible as this sounds it forces them to actually talk to you and not immediately write you off with a swipe of their thumb for some arbitrary attribute she saw or read in your profile (as a short man, this happens to me constantly. If I change my height even two inches I get a stupid amount of more matches because I’m good looking…. Just 5’6”)
all of those things you listed are external. You can be the most fit man, with the fastest car, and dress flawlessly, and still be an absolute shlub. Laughter is a good thing to break the ice, but its not the be all and end all of conversation. Work on yourself internally, like having thoughts on various topics having hobbies, having a good personality, and things will change.
I’ve seen one-night stands turn into long-term relationships and multiple dates turn into rejection. Bottom line, if a woman is in to you, she will not make it difficult for you.
I believe something else no one ever talks about but guys also need to make deep meaningful friendships with other guys-this will teach compassion, empathy, respect, vulnerability and will help build personality. These values transfer into the long term relationships with women guys hope to have.
I've learned a lot about women from becoming close friends with women. We're nearly different species. You don't gotta take their dating advice, but you can look at similarities many women share, and act accordingly when it comes to seeing someone new. What sort of things make them uncomfortable, their boundaries, what they like to do in their spare time, what makes them respect someone else, what makes them write off someone else as irredeemable. You'll often find yourself in situations where over-aggressive guys hit on them right in front of you. You get a front row seat to see what NOT to do, and they'll laugh about it after and say why.
Ive been in relationships in the past and now im single, yeah fair enough it does get lonely but i think im at peace now even if i dont find another girl again, like in american beauty when he says "its hard to stay mad when theres so much beauty in the world!" Dating and relationships are getting too stressful and it really takes its toll, especially on people who have got severe mental health problems! Life is like a smoke screen!
Courtney, discovering your channel has been a huge breath of fresh air for me. Almost all of the dating advice for men on the internet falls into one of two categories. Its either a bunch of sugar coated bs based on naive and unrealistic ideas or super toxic "alpha male" advice. But, your videos are neither. You tell the truth (even if some people don't want to hear it) while at the same time steering clear of all the toxicity and manipulation. I also love that you are sympathetic to the problems of men while still not being afraid to tell us the harsh truths we need to hear. For once, it makes me feel understood and like there actually are good women out there who care about us and want us to do better. Despite being right about a lot of things, the red pill community frames everything in such a toxic and negative way which only left me feeling bitter and depressed. I'm so incredibly thankful that I ditched the red pill and found you. You have renewed my faith in women and I have never been more optimistic about my dating future. So, from the bottom of my heart, Courtney, thank you!
@@joebarlow4064mmmmm does she tell the truth though? Since she likes to drop truths maybe she could start with how much her, some what odd looking, husband makes.
JOE LETS GO WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT SUPER BOWL I CAN TELL A GUY NAMED AARON DONALD DOMINATED YOUR O LINE AND YOUR UNIFORM IN YOUR PROFILE LOOKS LIKE TOM BRADY ANS NO ONE WILL BREAK HIS SUPER BOWL TITLES NOT EVEN BELICHICK
Get out in the real world is right! That was my experience. Looking back at high school, rejection was less painful than the communal shame that accompanied it. At least, that was how I was made to feel, and I know others felt the same: what I am saying is, just one girl might have turned you down, but her entire pack of friends or her church youth group, etc, earned the right to ridicule you. Not sure why it was that way, but it was. Not sure what course of action to recommend to others, but “get outside” is a good place to start. In the 1990s, I quit dating in my local community and looked for relationships elsewhere, which I sometimes was able to find. This was before online dating, but I don’t know if that is a the path to tread, then or now.
Your right about getting out in the real world. In high school, never went out because I was painfully shy. It wasn't until years after I got out of high school that I started going out and it was always by myself.
Cliques is what you're describing. They still very much exist today, but in businesses and politics and churches. Not sure cliques are as much a thing in the 30's and 40's somethings looking for love.
“Be nice and do good things just because, not to get something in return.” I always thought this was interesting. Seems more like, “Do things for me like a good little simp.”
Basically, yeah. How dare you have expectations of women. Just keep shelling the big bucks, and prostrate yourself with a big smile, and don’t think I owe you jack sh*t because that’s what you’re meant to do. Know your damn place, swine.
A huge truth: not one person is completely single. Either they are talking to multiple people, have a FWB, still talk to their ex, are in a situationship, etc.
You don't just "attract what you are," you also attract what's around you. You could be going to school, have a good job, be Christian, abstain, etc and still attract aimless, narcissistic bums. As long as you have something that people want (money, sex, distraction), there will always be someone interested in you. Many with bad, short term intentions. Now, if you're a decent person, you can also attract likeminded ppl, but it can still take a while to sift thru the mess to get to them. I will say it makes a difference when you try to forcefully find your person and base your sense of purpose around that. Ppl can pick up on low self-esteem, neediness, and desperation. But being content with your single life and making room when someone substantial comes along is the best way to go. You're not making rash decisions from a desperate place, but informed ones based on you two investing in each other.
I agree. The environments you hang around, also play a part in they type of people you attract. If your a decent dude with your stuff together, and hang out in scummy bars, there's gonna be scummy people attracted to you there.
Bars are usually the places where people go to alter their consciousness with alcohol. What are the kinds of people who are looking to alter their consciousness with alcohol? The atmosphere in bars is usually dark/dim, usually loud upbeat music, usually lots of TV screens, usually noisy talking people trying to compete with the other noises. What sort of accuracy does all of this produce in assessing the sort of person you might meet there?
6 Harsh Truths Men Need To Know About Dating 1. You have to be willing to put in effort. 2. You attract what you are. 3. Rejection is part of the process. 4. The “nice guy” and the “gentleman” are different. 5. Dating isn’t black and white. (what you see online isn’t always reality. Dating involves complex emotions and situations) 6. Being angry and bitter will not help you. All good points, especially 1, 3, and 6. If you aren't willing to put forth the effort to better yourself, to increase your value as a man, then you cannot expect women to pursue you. In terms of rejection, we as men get rejected A LOT by women and by society. The distinction with this one is that we have to learn how to accept rejection gracefully and move on. It's a skill that we need to develop and maintain. #4 I really agree with you; the two are different and I hate being called the "nice guy." I'm not a nice guy, I'm a gentleman. My parents raised me and my twin brother to be that way. Great explanation of the differences between the two, Courtney. The hardest one for me was #6. Letting go of anger and bitterness has been a lifelong process of developing that skill. It's easier for me to do it now as a grown man in his thirties, but when I was younger, it was very difficult to let go of my anger.
Agreed with everything but the "You attract what you are." statement. In my experience I attract those who perceive me and my actions in a positive way. Another person will eventually know who I am, but that usually will take time. In the meantime they can see a projection of me.
If anyone is killing chivalry, its women. I was at the gym and me and another guy went to fill up our water bottles at the same time and i let him go first and he was very appreciative, he smiled nodded his head and went on his way. Straight after i filled my bottle and was going to leave, me and a girl approached the exit on the way out and i offered her to go first, she immediately said "just walk through" with her face looking disgust and her voice slightly angry... and this all happened in matter of minutes of the 2 interactions... so fellas. Blame the women for killing chivalry because from what happened to me they clearly dont like it 🤷
That's one woman's reaction, not all women would do the same. Be happy you weren't stuck in a relationship with a kid with her! The majority of women do appreciate a gentlemen, don't give up, the right woman, a proper lady, is out there for you. Go find her.
There's an entire trend of women telling others to break up with their boyfriends if you don't like or want to watch Barbie, one of them self proclaimed she isn't a feminist because she believes women are better than men. There is no chivalry warranted.
A harsh truth that I think men and women (and influencers like Courtney) can learn is that putting in effort is no guarantee of success. I understand influencers are in sales and have goals of advertising their thoughts and beliefs but I wish more people discussed their beliefs with a grain of salt. No matter how much effort you put in 15% of people will not find a partner and even when they do, more than half will not be sustained long term. However influencers paint the picture that if you put in the effort and work on yourself, you will see results. There is much more important factors that go into whether a long term relationship is possible than work ethic, flexibility, and perseverance.
No one can guarantee you success, they can only offer guidance to increase your chances. And there are other benefits of the process. It's not just about being someone a woman likes, but being/becoming someone that you like.
@@jeneeskinner7481 I quite agree. your chance of success is much more a function of where you live and the amount of like minded people you come into contact with than effort. For example, I spend the vast amount of my time as a digital nomad living out of a van. No matter how hard I try the constant travel makes it nearly impossible to date. While traveling to various National Parks I meet people who live in remote areas. They are great people who work hard on themselves, are adventures and kind, and exude confidence, but are single for lack of options in their area. I am a lawyer by trade and know many other lawyers who moved from large cities to rural towns to help out their families. There are enough people but no one similar to their morals. Putting in effort can make someone in an already good scenario successful but will not help someone where other more important factors supersede
Some people delay their growth to find a partner due to loneliness. It's not neccesarily a bad thing to self improve as that outcome will help you grow on a larger scale. Finding someone in a relationship is all chance and encounter, and that's okay. Not everyone in the world will be right for you, so when a person finally comes around, it's good to have that positive energy that draws people near. I'm telling you, the world could use more positivity.
Stand up for yourself. Treat people like they treat you. No more no less. And you’ll find you don’t have to chase girls. They will have to make an effort with you. And you’ll be fine if they don’t. Because nothing of value was lost. She didn’t try. You don’t want her.
“You are what you attract “ gotcha I have never attracted anyone regardless of what I’ve done so that means I’m a nobody. Pretty much confirms my suspicions
I feel this changed my mindset and perspective on talking to or interacting with women, I read it on a forum, I thought the guy hit the nail right on the head. It changed my perspective and mindset on talking to women. A guy was asking for advice on how to get better at talking to women, and people used the word practice "It bothers and annoys, enrages me or pisses me off a lot when people use the word practice, because the way I see it, for women, there is no such thing as practicing talking to men, because women's lives are on autopilot when it comes to talking to men since puberty, due to all of the constant attention they've been getting since then, women are forced to, have no choice but to learn how to talk to men, and they gain it right away by doing nothing since they don't have to open their mouth first" I thought to myself, never truer words have been said or spoken. I thought that was bang-on right there. and i got a response from a dating coach on youtube, which enraged and pissed me off more, while I don't disagree with him, I just don't like how he said the brutal cold harsh fact of how different for men and women when it comes to getting better at talking to and interacting with the opposite sex. It makes sense and I like to believe there is far more advice for guys in the world on how to talk to and interact with girls then there is advice for girls on how to talk to and interact with guys. He said: "Don't worry about what other people don't have to do or why something is easier for them or whatever the comparison may be. Focus on you, where you want to be, what you need to do to get there and then get moving." That pissed me off more when I read that. Another reason why I don't like it is because it feels or seems like the way a guy talks and interacts with people or a guy's social skills, the way he behaves around others, has a much bigger impact on his attractiveness or ability to get a girlfriend then the other way around. As in, the way a girl talks or a girl's social skills doesn't impact her attractiveness or ability to get a boyfriend as much as it does for a guy to get a girlfriend. Men need to focus more on the behavioral aspect than women do when it comes to attracting someone it seems. The main reason why i hate that, is because guys, men, can unfortuneately be labeled creepy or weird in interactions or social situations with women, even if the guy, man, never meant any harm, was never trying to hurt the woman, the reverse isn't true though. And due to men always having been expected to walk up to women and open our mouth, it makes more sense for the man to need to practice but not the woman. If an interaction or conversation goes poorly or bad between a man and a woman,. It's always the guys fault, it's impossible for a woman to screw up a conversation or interaction with a guy, it seems.
The last part I honestly don't get how I am not supposed to be bitter. I don't meet anyone irl that is single and no one on the dating apps ever wants to go out. Even the few times I've tried to be positive and was it didn't make any difference.
I think sometimes it helps to remember you're not alone. I'm right there with you, and from what I can tell... a ton of guys are. Might also help to remember, some dudes actually have it even worse. Sadly, I don't think that desire ever goes away... but it's not like everyone is getting over and you're the only one left out in the cold. And there is a little value in this experience too. I've heard the best way to know who your friends really are is to fall ill. If you've got people there for you in these hard times, always remember them. Also, be aware of those (girl)friends that mysteriously show up when times are good.
Agree with the guy above. It'll pay off to one day be able to focus on the positive experiences we've had in dating rather thrash holding on to the resentment of defeats and other perils. Seems a matter of retraining our perspectives and moving past the hurt and leaving it in the past
> I don't meet anyone irl that is single Don't take this the wrong way, but you really can't be meeting many people then. As a guy, one of the best things you can do to increase your chances is talk to tons of women. Doing that also decreases bitterness too.
I'm on the fence for #2. I think sometimes you are what you attract, but if you're a marathon runner who watches what you eat and maintains your health so that you're in great shape, and you have a literal ton of obese women who think you're hot stuff, that's not because you're secretly obese. I think some things, like health, are just universally attractive.
As a woman I don’t believe in that quote. I’ve had hobos approach me and I’m an attractive woman with a career and apartment, so I live somewhere lol. I think it’s not who you attract but who you keep
Being nice and being a gentleman is the same thing whether you like it or not. Society does not define what you perceived it to be. Your personal experiences are not relevant. Being nice is just as it sounds being nice. It is positive. People trying to gaslight men into thinking it is negative are retarded. I come from a long line of nice people who selflessly give up their wants, needs and desires to help others and spread positivity and love to the world. Being nice, is simply being chivalrous, selfless and an over all good person. There is another name for someone being disingenuous. That is fake, in authentic, or disingenuous. Simple. Nice is nice. Fake is fake. Not having a backbone is not having a backbone. Really simple. Stop telling people not to be good people just because you don't understand the proper definitions of words.
Be a gentleman and a good person to everyone and anyone you do not want to have a romantic relationship with. She will choose the career criminal with four other baby mamas ahead of the nice guy standing in front of her.
Words can have different meanings depending on the context. Here the word "nice" is usually put in quotes to denote men who are basically people pleasers. They desperately need validation from others, so they always deal with other people's needs while suppressing their own. They lack boundaries, are pushovers and can easily become very angry and frustrated because they bottle up all negative feelings and frustrations. This does not make them bad people, however, and I don't even think they are consciously aware of how manipulative they can come across to other people; but there's a clear distinction between such a person and someone who is genuinely nice and not wanting anything in return.
No. Good can be defined as "for you". Nice can be defined as "through you, for me." It's not about the action itself, it's about how you go about it. Nice guys are the wrong kind of safe. Learn to be a strong, good man. Not a boyish man looking for validation from others.
@@vlada131 People that call nice people manipulative are people well versed in gaslighting and overall just users. In my experience, being nice to these users leads them to asking for more, and then more, and then more. The asking becomes demanding and "we're friends" is uttered frequently by these users. All the while the user treats the nice person worse and worse. Finally the nice person says no. The user makes them out to be an asshole and manipulator, which is just projection. Don't be a user.
People attract who they are _and_ people who are “lower”/“less desirable”. People of both sexes often chase after people far “better” than them in any regard Improving oneself will help you attract better/more compatible partners but doesn’t necessarily intimidate the same people you were previously attracting before
That's why men on dating sites rate women on a bell curve and are willing to be with someone near their looks match while women swipe on only the top 5% and will accept a date from only the top 20%, right? I'm sure every single woman on every single dating site would be rated at an 8+. Now what is your heuristic for those people able to get into relationships other than rejecting the undesirables and fantasizing about their betters.
@@pace1195 Don’t talk to me about dating websites, dating apps, hookup apps or anything similar in attempts to refute me: Reason 1: My statement is what is based off what has been true for hundreds if not thousands of years. Your silly little apps and sites are not relevant to the large majority of mankind that has ever been coupled up with someone. Before the 1980s absolutely no one was dating virtually, by the end of the 90s still
Backfires are due to spark timing that is usually too much advanced. The mixture combusts too early before the piston reaches top-dead-center. The result can often reverse crankshaft rotation, open the intake valve, and blow the burning gasses back out the intake.
Dating is such a challenge nowadays. I'm either "too" clingy or not clingy enough. I'm "too" emotionally involved or not emotionally involved enough. I'm putting in "too" much effort or not enought effort. I'm 34 and have no children. I want children, I want a family but it seems impossible today. I've honestly been looking into co-parenting but even that alone is just as complicated as dating. Women want the co-parent to meet XYZ standards. Most of the time their standards are the same as their dating standards.
so far I been having a good day at work people have been nice to me we need more kindness in this world but not everyone is nice these days I know things
That's the key point: Both the man and the women need to put in 100% time, energy and effort into dating and or a relationship! It will fail if one of these is missing and one will feel resentment or pissed off because the other person isn't putting 100%! All three points are on point! But, why would a male go on a date with a female you don't like, Courtney? I don't or won't! You will know this before you even go on a date when you're talking and texting! Nice guys finish last!!
I volunteered with a young woman (fairly traditional in most of her beliefs, definitely not a normal 20-something). Over time we got to know each other pretty well; our work often had a lot of down time and was in an environment that fostered a lot of personal conversations. I made it clear on one or two occasions I wasn’t looking to date her and EXPLICITLY stated that I absolutely never expect ANYTHING from anyone. To do otherwise would be deceitful and unloving. After working together for three months and having a few social things together, I gave her some gifts for her BIRTHDAY. Days later, I got an unbelievably long text message suggesting that I only gave things to her to gain her affection. I was completely stunned. Like. IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY. 😂😂😂 I was already closed off to dating prior to this (which I told her multiple times), but man - this just took my level of disappointment in Western women and confusion to a new extreme I didn’t even know existed.
The “nice guy” doesn’t have to mean underlying intentions. Guys are “nice” to each other all the time. Nope, we should just replace the term “nice guy” with “boring guy.”
I was recently talking with a girl on OKC. She was excited to be hearing from me and I was very direct. Lo and behold, I checked OKC later to find out (you guessed it) she unmatched me, didn't call back (though we had an engaging sexual convo). I sent her a pic of me and a new woman I was with in her place and thanked her for showing disinterest. This is why I stopped saving women's names in my phone until the smash. When she leaves before I smashed, her number and text log is completely deleted.
Can we stop with this narrative that it's bad to expect something in return for being kind, generous, and well mannered? There isn't a single person on the planet that can go their entire life being those things, while receiving nothing in return besides disrespect, mistreatment, and a lack of appreciation. In this day and age, I'd rather chop off my testicles with a rusty spoon, than be a gentleman.
This was all good advice. I have a lot of experience dating and I can say the dating scene has become more difficult every year since around 2014 when society really started to change fast. I think things are starting to self correct, so for those of you with low morale, work on yourselves, boost your morale, and get back out there. Spring is always the easiest time to find someone.
This is all good advice, but if a man only ever experiences rejection it becomes impossible for him to stay optimistic that he will eventually be desired. For the men out there, if constant rejection makes you miserable and depressed then I think the best thing to do is just stop trying. Enjoy everything else life has to offer, because women aren’t worth death. Life is far too short to waste on people who don’t want you.
Yeah. I dropped out of dating in my late 20's when 5 ex's and old flings recontacted me out of the blue. I figured out what was happening. They were hitting the wall and looking for a husband to bail them out of student loan debt and/or their soul crushing job. It disgusted me beyond belief. If i wasn't good enough for them in my early 20's, they don't deserve me in my late 20's. I don't want leftover women. And yeah i understand i'll be called leftover too but shame doesn't work on me so the leftovers can call me whatever. I'm fine being single. The longer men remain single the harder it is for women to convince men to get romantically involved. Men who spend their 20's with constant rejection will throw in the towel. The thing that worries me is how many Western men are sexless and hopeless. No society lasts for long when 50% of men are sexless and hopeless.
I wish woman did all the things men had to do. Imagine a woman putting in effort to ask a guy out. I guarentee you, the percentage of single men wouldnt be as low as it is today.
Be Tall(6-0+), Fit(6 pack abs), Rich(100K / yr minimum), Well Educated (Master's minimum) ~ meh, I am going back to the grind, gym, gun range, garage - my time, money, energy & attention are better spent there. For me, I will NEVER get married, I will NEVER have kids (not mine - nor hers) and if those are off the table - What is the point of 'dating'? - .... *THERE ISN'T*
dirty secret that I have learned the hard way - give a girl respect, honesty, loyalty, commitment, security, consistency, reliability and she / they will cheat / lie / game / ghost to go get / chase the exact opposite - she / they will reward and seek the Bad boy that is disrepectful, unstable, criminal, toxic, most often abusive ... AND BLAME YOU FOR IT. *FFS*
We’ll never be perfect, but we can always be better 🙂 Great video, Courtney, point #3 resonated a lot with me! As hard as it can be to handle rejection, it’s a chance for engage in positive reflection and an opportunity to find someone more compatible
Someone needs to start a new civic organization called something like the Order of Fellow Nobodys. It would have 50 million member men within the year.
The "taking 2 business days to respond" is what kills me. At work she's all flirty and talks but then you hear nothing all weekend. In my opinion of you like someone. Talk to them. All I ask
One lesson I've certainly learned is that with dating; things out of your control can destroy a relationship despite your best efforts to stay together. Working with my ex girlfriend is painful as well, but it's worse when I was think about "what could of been." Don't make my mistake, gentleman. Ladies can certainly be heartbreakers and it can take a man to his grave. "It takes six men to take a man to his grave. It takes one woman to take him there"
Have the salesman attitude of 'NEXT' to a failed relationship. Don't look back, wish how it could have been, focus on the next one, it could be fantastic. And save you from an early grave, due to happiness!
This video was interesting to watch, even for me who has no interest in dating. Sometimes I feel like my life would be better if I was in a relationship, but given what I've experienced I'm not sure if that's true. Society feels so fake nowadays that I'm probably better off doing my own thing.
Dating is like auditioning for each other, including friendships. If I see that person often from a club or sports facility/class, I get to understand what type of person they are everyday I see them, and I know exactly whether if I want to be close to that person or not. Otherwise, if it's a person I run into for the first time online or in real life, the interaction might only last less than a minute, and that's all it takes for me to make a cut. I don't waste time debating whether if that particular person should or shouldn't be in my life. It's just as simple as that.
Courtney is pure GOLD, we attract what we are, but we are always looking for something else and then are disappointed, as she said work / improve on those aspects which we are lacking,.. Courtney's way of explaining these things is spectacular, leaves all of us in awe,..
@@DudeGuy82 I get where you’re coming from, maybe she’s somebody who preaches but not practices herself. What is more pressing is why make all this effort if it has zero relevance for her own self.
That 'attracting what you are' thing sounds like a spurious notion to me. I'll just use the latest female that chased after me as an example. She's kind of agnostic, VERY left-leaning, drinks too much, occasionally smokes weed and drives a Ford. I'm a devout Christian, Politically centrist/culturally more conservative by the day, don't drink/smoke or use drugs EVER and drive a Chevy. This person developed a crush on me in high school circa 2000. Didn't tell me about it until 2011. Never got a chance to try to do anything about it until 2017 and kept trying despite repeated polite rejections on my part until 2022 when I decided to cut her off for good. That person was nothing like me at all. How did I attract that poor soul?
As fucked up as it is. At least with gaming if you pay money in hopes of enjoying something and don't like it; you can get your money back via refund. If you pay for a girls meal, and everything else towards a date, you just validated her attention and there's no refunds after you realize they are only replying with one worded answers and look at their phone. The next step is watching ads from an engaged girl who does it for promo ad code cuts while telling the same sex that historically does all the work to "put in work" as if its a revelation.
The thing about rejection is that people tend to take the negative feedback personally, even if the rejection stemmed from an interaction involving a complete stranger. It's something that you have to gradually desensitize yourself towards which is why a lot of PUAs advise men to intentionally put themselves in situations where they get constantly rejected so that the sting becomes less painful over time.
It feels like women today have impossible standards. I'm over 6 ft tall, 230 lbs and muscular, I have a great hairline with thick hair, my teeth are straight and white, I try to dress nice, due to my last profession I'm very charismatic and great at conversation... YET, the only women I tend to attract are 20+ lbs overweight and don't have much going for them, other than they're fun people to be around. All that said, I'm not the perfect man. I make enough to be financially independent and enough extra to have a paid off car and have fun on the weekends, take girls out, but a career change and covid has left me a little behind my peers. I take care of myself and clean up and while some do think I'm quite handsome, I certainly am not the best looking. Still, I was dealt better genetics than many, MANY guys. What more does a man have to do? If I have it this hard I can't imagine how it is for others. It's absurd.
What gets me is we always hear, "You don't CHOOSE who you fall in love with." So honestly what's the use - or even the point - of making/having a list of preferences, or traits, or even wishes/wants for a potential partner to have, when the "one" that FATE chooses for us as the one we WILL fall in love with may turn out to be the complete opposite of the type of person we thought/felt/even dreamed we wanted? So either the line about "We don't choose who we fall in love with" is a bunch of bull crap; or it's an excuse used to explain relationships for which there is no other reasonable explanation.
Omg *COPE* Ted bundy was angry & bitter & hated vvoman & girls were literally throwing themselves at him but he was physically attractive . Dating now a days is all based on *LOOKS / GENETICS*
@@devilsadvocacy - if Ted Bundy is a sociopath and had women throwing themselves at him, but Courtney suggests "we attract what we are", does that mean all those women too, were sociopaths?
"Emotional availability" is one of those terms like "connection" that women use a lot but men have no idea what they're talking about, it's totally opaque. Should do a translation video.
Initially I listened to a dude’s dating advice. He didn’t have steady partner and took pride in constantly getting someone new. Your credibility is enhanced because you have a healthy committed partner. He is clearly a high value guy because he approves you posting this type of contact which a low value guy would never want you to do. Cheers to your dude and your wisdom
Did your dating advice dude (who I assume you see as a low value guy) ever care what the women he plowed through did for a living before he moved on to his next conquest?
That's a Pick Up Artist, not a dating expert. There are plenty of men in committed relationships who give dating advice. Nick Freitas Casey Zander Rollo Tomassi A lot more but I don't feel like making a long list. I do think a woman's perspective can be useful, but you simply don't learn how to fish, from fish. You learn from successful fishermen. So even a PUA can teach you how to find a woman. You simply use what they teach to find "the one," instead of acting like a modern woman who wants to get ran through
Life has hard moments. Even when life is going bad, it is very important to keep going and focus on what you have. True success takes time to develop, and if you focus on what is wrong and remain bitter towards relationships or other bad things in life, you are wasting energy that could be used on a solution. In the meantime, you can keep improving yourself and your own life while taking time to enjoy yourself as well since you will always have that in spite of other people or uncontrollable circumstances.
"Don't date women whom you don't have the intention to get married." (Elliot Hulse) It took me a while to understand that going on dates with lots of women was ruining my life.
It's not necessarily a bad thing to date women you don't intend to marry, particularly if you're in high school or college, because you're in your own lane of self I discovery about what you find attractive and desirable in a partner, and what you're turnoffs are. This ultimately leads to building your own character when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships, and attracting the person you want to have a long-term relationship with.
@@728huey Man, look at the results of this kind of mentality. Almost everybody is single nowadays. They are all "exploring their options". STD's, trauma, murder, etc. Do you really thing that it's worth?
@@amers4239 Are you really expecting to meet the love of your life while in high school or college? That's nearly as delusional these days as women expecting to date a six foot man making six figures right out of college or expecting to work at the same job for 40 years. When you're that young, you don't have a whole lot of life experience, and the only way to grow and determine your ultimate values is by going through experiences whether they be dating, jobs, money, etc. I'm a little disturbed by the negative attitudes about dating because somebody had a bad experience or ugly breakup. It sucks big time, but these things happen. You have to step back and learn from these experiences so you do better in the future.
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Courtney, someday you should check spam comments in your comment section that redirect us to telegram for potential crypto and romance scams. You are owner of your channel and every day i get same telegram crap stuff. Hoping you will look into this properly.💢
well if I be a good guy. She takes my money
If I be a bad guy. I will get arrested.
So I guess I have to do nothing about it and not care about anything that doesn’t interest me. Still doesn’t work but I am amazing at minding my own business
If I put in too much effort then she will think I’m just gonna use her. If I put in too little effort then she’ll think I’m not interested. It’s insanity.
That's not true, you can show interest without creating an imbalance in the behaviors of both sides, all you have to do is express it periodically with your words, and obviously express it with your actions; you don't even have to say too much but certainly don't do it daily and don't be obsessive.
I feel you sometime you gotta just let them do the work just to know that it’s 100% legit even if that means staying single and sexless at 4-6 years at a time I’m just not gonna put in effort and move the world just in hopes anymore.
Insanity? THIS IS WOMEN!! **kicks dude down the hole of solitude**
@@theastuteanglerWell women are insane.
Yeah, I feel like such an autist... but I really need someone to clarify this. The "instructions" seem so vague and contradictory. The conclusion I'm leaning towards is... If you're good looking or rich... you can probably be nice or rude or attentive or inattentive and it doesn't matter. Anything works. If you're ugly/poor either way is gonna backfire.
Guys, don't bother dating online. It will get you nowhere. Sad, but true.
One harsh truth I would add is this: You might live your whole life without ever being in a relationship. Somethings things in life are never guaranteed, relationships are one of them. You are going to have to make peace with this.
Exactly. For a significant amount of men (around one-quarter to one-half), they are already out of the dating game before it even started. Mainly being one or more of short, ugly round face, small "d", etc.
@@coolnut99 Not exactly true, people can make themselves viable options, just like people can disqualify themselves. It's not so black and white, things change. Short buff guys are more attractive than tall noodle limbed guys. It's all about what you do with what you have.
Jesus Christ, how pathetic.
@@coolnut99 You're kind of crude, Aren't you? The fact is, being short, ugly, having a round face, or having a small dick - might as well be an adult and spell it out - aren't deal killers for every woman. The truth is that many men who go through life without a relationship are in that boat because they gave up.
I'm short, 5' 6", but there are PLENTY of women shorter than me.
I don't know if I'm ugly, *** but I'm going on a second date with an attractive woman who said I'm attractive. There are other things she really likes about me, and some of them came about as the result of watching Courtney's videos. Unless you're gay, bisexual, transgender or a woman, keep your stupid comments to yourself. For the record, I'd be delighted if a gay man, a bisexual man or a transgender woman found me attractive. I wouldn't take them up on any offers, but I wouldn't be offended at all by the compliment. Oh yeah, I'm happy to be complimented by cisgender women, too. Call me, ladies.
I don't know if I have a round face, but I don't think I do. Even if I did, there are women that prefer round faces. If a guy thinks his face shape is wrong, and he's able to do it, he might want to consider growing a beard. (Or growing a backbone.) Some women like beards, some women hate 'em.
As for having a small dick, all I'm going to say about that is I checked and it's within what's considered the normal range for Americans.
I'm no prize when it comes to physical appearance - I'm half bald, I'm saggy from years of weight gain and weight loss, my beard is white and my hair and mustache are almost white. But somehow enough women on dating apps find me attractive enough to go on at least one date. What's important is my personality. I'm a gentleman (there are lots of components to that), I'm funny and I'm intelligent.
*** Here's a video that's going to put a lot of you to shame. Robert Hoge developed a tumor inside his skull while he was still in the womb, and as a result he was born with a severe facial deformity. He endured years of bullying, and (I haven't watched the video in awhile) underwent at least one corrective surgery. The last time a surgery was suggested, the risk of blindness was too high, so he chose not to proceed. He's married, and as of 2015, had a 15-year-old daughter. He wrote a book called "Ugly," and he's more successful than almost everyone here. So if you think you're ugly...
ua-cam.com/video/QbxinUJcLGg/v-deo.html
_STOP WHINING!_ Get to work on yourselves and don't give up. Juat don't give up.
@tylerwerthmuller2005 I would say more often then not your wrong there's plenty of videos were they have skinny average looking 6ft guy and a muscular 5'5 guy side by side and ask girls which they would choose and more often then not its the 6ft guy
I used to be a bitter angry man, but after a while I decided to self reflect and let it go. I’m ok now and I believe I’m a lot better off now. I still can’t get dates but I’m fine without a partner.
Welcome to the last stage of grief... acceptance.
Good job man. Much of the content you see on here doesn't help with that. Such as redpill content or political grifters. Much of the issues they talk about does not affect you in your day to day life, so there's no point getting worked up over it.
Dying alone never better than alternative
You didn't use Tiege Hanley.
Don't worry buddy! I'm in the same boat. I just gave up. Working hard and doing what I want before I die.
Courtney, every time I watch one of your videos, I come away depressed, you make me go from thinking my chances of finding a girlfriend is small, to thinking I have no chance.
Then log offline and go outside bro
Get off the internet, go outside, hang out with friends or by yourself, do things that you want to do. Talk to people you haven't met before.
There is no chance with western women. They aren’t worth it. The sooner you accept and realise that, the better off you’ll be. Look o/s
I don't think that is the goal of her videos.
She's only trying to provide advice/help. Some things you take and improve on, and other things, its not like you have to.
Even men with GFs /Wives don't follow all of this advice, but maybe some parts stick and other parts don't.
This is all her perspective anyways.
Consider why you feel depressed and what you can do to manage your emotions. Feel how you need to feel, but then try to be solution oriented and focus on what you have control over. Courtney doesn't have all the answers and can't do the work for you. Please don't tie your sense of worth to having a gf. Focus on your self-improvement journey and appreciating the community you have around you. Or take small steps to develop one based on your interests and values ❤️
I’m 32 and never been in a relationship. I’m new to dating apps and been getting many matches lately. Finally set up a date for yesterday and the girl canceled on the morning of.
This hurt because of all the time and energy I spent preparing for this.
It’s hard to find the motivation these days
I've been through the same thing. I would dump dating apps. Their toxic and it's all just a game (for women).
Your problem is the apps. They are useless. Women are only swiping right 5% of the time. Which means they aren't reading profiles and trying to get to know you on a personal level. It's all purely based on looks. As a man your looks are important but only 1 aspect of attracting girls. Get out and meet women in real life. that's always going to be your best bet.
Don't do dating apps brother. Those are bottom of the barrel ppl and the naive ones starting out only to find out they're bottom of the barrel.
You have to change your mindset, the girl doesn’t know u at all so it’s not personal. Dating apps is a numbers game so u need to harden your mind or it will break you. However if you can do this then it’s a useful tool. Keep in mind: maybe 5% or less of girls will actually match w you. Of those girls maybe 1% will actually talk/lead to a date. Of those girls maybe 50% will cancel. Don’t take it personal bro, on to the next! If anything the fact that you are getting this far shows progress
Dude, forget it, if you're just starting at 32 go your own way or get your passport. Western chicks are broken.
Rejection is protection. It saves you time for better experiences, opportunities, and people in your life. You don't have to worry about "what could have been" when you know "what they missed out on" moving forward. Show up for yourself and the right things and people will do the same, and do it for you too.
Yeah, just manifest it right?
The greatest harsh truth is that if she's not physically attracted to you, nothing else matters. Not your confidence on personality.
you have to excite her and give her the tingles
Exactly. She has to physically attracted in order to be emotionally attracted in the first place.
Do you want an ugly woman?
Same thing goes for men. Physical attraction then personality is where the meat of it all begins.
What women are physically attracted to varies a lot more than what men are physically attracted to. A great quote I heard once was "women don't really want good looks, what woman really want is a man." You can have many attractive masculine traits without being physically attractive
So I listened to the first one a couple times. I couldn't believe that she was telling us guys that WE have to put forth an effort. Seriously? She's really saying men have to put forth an effort? Oh, I am sorry was making the first approach and talking to you and asking you out and planning the date and keeping the conversation going despite getting only "yeah" "sure" and my personal favorite "I don't know whatever" back as responses not enough? We're the only ones putting forth any effort!
Women absolutely need to be putting effort in too.
@@CourtneyRyan I honestly got so frustrated with what you said about men needing to put in an effort I didn't even finish your video.
Look as a man who was in a marriage that ended because my exwife was selfish and claimed that I was not putting in effort because she couldn't be lazy but I was killing myself trying to help her and doing as much as her. Ultimately this ruined our marriage and I was actually relieved a little bit when she cheated. It still hurt but I now had a good reason to file for divorce. The concept that men don't do enough really is offensive.
Men make the first approach. We take all the risk and all women provide are hints and signals. We're not mind readers and how are we supposed to know if it's a green light or just the woman being polite?
After we make the first approach and break the ice we then have to initiate the first date which we have to plan. We pay for the first date. We keep the conversation going on said date because all women say is one word or otherwise short answers.
We initiate the second date which more than likely we plan. We have put in the majority of work. Now if she wants to keep dating us she answers our calls if not she doesn't even put in the effort to tell us so but just ghosts us. We don't even know until we see her out and about with another guy who can be just as frustrated as we were.
If things continue we keep making effort until the relationship that's now considered a success is to move to the next level. I am of course talking about marriage and even there we're the ones to buy a ring and plan the evening we're gonna pop the question. We ask and the lady says yes or no or whatever.
In the marriage we have to work to support the family but be there for the family. We try to keep the wife happy all while doing our professional job that supports the house. Our money goes into the joint account while anything she makes goes into her account. She spends her money on herself until she runs out of money then she spends "our money" on her too.
Saying men need to make more of an effort is offensive. We're making the effort and have been since the beginning. Women have been complaining that they can't find men. Well it's time for some equal effort from women. You want love? Deserve it. Stop blasting men and saying we need to make an effort when we are making the majority of it.
What I think is funny is that women haven't figured it out yet. We are unhappy and if we're unhappy we are not asking women out. Did it occur to any of the women complaining about men not approaching them to approach men? No, because they don't really care about us just what we do for them.
Women need men but don't actually love men. They only love what they get from men. They only love what they themselves ultimately. We men need to take care of themselves and take a break from breaking their backs to please women. If women don't like that then maybe THEY should actually put in more effort.
We have a raw deal lady and we're fed up. Now I am not saying that women are evil or anything. I don't hate women and don't think men should go their own way or whatever. I am just saying that an equal relationship demands equal effort. We're not getting equal effort and we know it. Things aren't going to be fixed until we acknowledge that.
But it's not all bad for women either. Women taking the initiative for example means they're a greater moral agent and they have more choice in their lives. If you like a guy don't drop hints but ask him out.
Just don't insult him or gross him out. I have been on the receiving end of that and it doesn't feel good and isn't flattering just infuriating. I am a human being too dang it. I may be stoic and keep things contained but it's not like I don't feel. At our root we're all the same just socialized to be different. I am expected to be cold and stoic but inside I'm hurting but won't make it anyone else's problem. But for a relationship if the benefit isn't greater than the cost then I am not going to bother and more men are coming to the same conclusion.
Bottom line it's a two way street and not a one way road. It takes two to tango so stop blaming us. We're not going to just keep going on with things the way they always were.
What do you expect? She preaches all this stuff and then… low and behold… married a multimillionaire. Her channel is a ruse.
@@CourtneyRyan Are theses six universal truths or are these your "truths"?
@@CourtneyRyan how the hell do women put in effort when women play a passive role in the whole courtship and dating process? it should be obvious as to what i'm talking about, guys always being expected to start an interaction and do the asking out, plan and set up the dates, go in for the kiss, be the one to initiate sex for the first time, men having to take the god damn lead in everything, so how the hell are women putting in effort? women for all time, have basically always been passengers in the whole dating process, thats why for all time, there will always be more male wizards than female wizards.
Just keep in mind rejection from a girl can catch you by suprise, things can seem to be going good, but the girl has made up her mind and trying to figure out a way to tell you at the right time she's not interested. Its like going on a job interview that goes well not to be chosen for the job. Don't get your hopes up too high, just know there's a high chance you'll get turned down because modern women's standards in today's world are very high.
What is better, harsh truth but honesty or good vibes but limited love?
I think it's fair to say that girls are more about good vibes and guys rather are harsh but straightforward.
So IMO if girls tried sugarcoating in relationships less and guys would take a more relaxed approach, relationships would improve for both sides
100 percent agree. And online dating just messed up everything. There's always the illusion of something better just around the next corner.
I got ghosted recently after a month of dating this girl and everything seemed to be going great. Im not sure what i did wrong or if someone she thought was better just happened to show up. Then one day the texts are slow and the next she just stops speaking to me. Pretty harsh when people ghost someone they've been dating for a bit.
My favorite quote I heard this year online: "if you have to chase her it means she's running away".
2 harsh truths for men in today’s dating world:
1. It’s not easy, not fun, and you’re more than likely being used or “settled” for because of your resources.
2. Hookup culture is making dating a lot worse day by day…especially long term dating, which most men are trying to pursue in women.
This is all from what I’ve experienced and my friends have experienced and described to me (Im only in my early 20s). As Madonna once sang: We are living in a material world (women specifically) which is actually happening to this day and will continue for who knows how long…
Men don't care about pursuing long-term dating until they're in their late 20s or early 30s and after they're done throwing their community dick to as many people as possible that will catch it. And women recognize that, so they decided to go outside and have their fun too rather than wait around as virgins only to be the 57th person a guy sleeps with before he's decided to settle down. We're in this current state of the dating world because of whore choices by men and y'all need to stop acting like y'all don't know that. "Men can't be whores, they're supposed to have sex with 300 people! They only have to be providers!"....."A man can't be a whore because the penis is like a key and a vagina is a lock!" This mentality got us to this point. And I say that as a tall, educated, outgoing, and good-looking man who has had zero problems even talking to women, but doesn't care to have a laundry list of bodies. I had a friend in college that made it his objective to fuck 50 women in one semester and had the audacity to say he really likes women that haven't been with a bunch of people.
Well said 👏 🔥 especially with the Madonna Reference line. Are you in the U.S. ?
@@youngbrandz6283 sadly yes…
This channel: "Rejection is a part of life..."
90%+ of men: "Yes, we know... we know."
This channel: "you have to put in a little effort..."
100% of men: "That means all the 6's". (you know what I mean.)
Pretty much like a second job, but harder.
The harsh truth about dating that I had to learn is that I will never be good enough for anyone the effort I put in, what I said, or the mindset I had never mattered no woman was gonna have any romantic interest in me no matter what. I know that sounds doom and gloom but it’s just a truth I have to live with.
I'm in the exact same boat and it sucks I just had an anniversary pass but it's from the last time I had sex and that was 10 long year's ago sucks to be a man in these dark times
Here are the truths, fellas:
1) You have to be willing to put in the effort (in addition to that, make sure that the woman you are dating also does her fair share)
2) You attract what you are, not what you want (be positive, confident, have effective communication skills)
3) Rejection is a part of the process (you are going to fail more times than you will succeed, and that is okay)
4) Nice guy and gentleman are different things (be civil and respectful without expecting anything in return; just don't be doing good deeds blindly)
5) Dating isn't black and white
6) Being angry and bitter will not help you (you have the right to complain, but ONLY YOU can be proactive on what you can do to improve)
A truth not mentioned (mainly tip):
7) Take your time when it comes to dating. If you are going to rush, you are going to come off as desparate. It's better to be single for a little bit longer than to end up with unnecessary drama that could have some nasty effects later on!
What else can be added to the list?
Thank you for the summary!
Thank you for the roundup!
You're both welcome! Good luck, fellas!
Yeah, but if you want children and are in your 40s.....you'd better hurry or else you'll be a new father as an old man.
Since when do (Western) women do their "fair share"? The ratio seems to be (at least) 60/40 more like. Relationships where it's 50/50 seem to be few and far between. Men have to do bend over backwards doing just about everything because it comes across as "more attractive" so women don't have to do it while they mostly sit there making their next Tiktok/Instagram post. The dating game in the West is broken and the proof is in the pudding. Just look around.
Women make the rules and fancy themselves the prize (most of them) that aren't worth it. Better to skip the game and look elsewhere. Just about everywhere else the women are better than what we find in the West
It’s safe to say, I am dying alone. I honestly can’t be bothered with dating 😂 way more effort than it’s worth.
Don´t you want to die alone? Become a bus driver :D
@@Gorbi1985 lmao
Problem is online statics show the women are only swiping the Top 1% to 3% of the best looking guys. Then they wonder why the hot guys keep leaving them as they have 10 other women waiting to go out with them at a drop of a hat. These same women are ignoring the other 97% of men and this is the result.
@@franciscoaguilar123I know so many “ugly” guys in relationships. I work with the autistic population. One of my students refuses to wipe after using the bathroom or shower. He has a girl who’s crazy about him. She’s also autistic. I think a lot of men miscalculate their attractiveness in comparison to the women they want. Men decide what’s attractive on a woman in a romantic/sexual way, and women do the same for men. If women are rejecting you, you’re not attractive to them
The purpose of dating is to find a person who is the right fit for you and most people will turn out to be wrong for you. No hard feelings.
This!
Is that what dating is reduced to for you?
Shopping for clothes?
This is the source of women's misery: They can easily find something and someone that fits them well, but they will ALWAYS be unhappy about it, convincing themselves that is something and someone that fits PERFECTLY!
It's a moot point anyway. Regardless of what the purpose of dating actually is, more are simply walking away from the practice as a whole. The standards are impossible.
69 likes da heh huh
The purpose of dating is to find a wet hole that isn't surrounded by a person that's too annoying
@@BoonsesThat’s crass, juvenile, and I love it.
Saying that guys who are nice have ulterior motives and are really malicious is the biggest line of BS I have ever heard in my life.
Very little offends me but as a guy who has been a nice guy until people made me mean, I am actually extremely offended that anyone would say being a nice guy is out of malice.
People change. They learn. Learn languages, learn playing piano and learn speaking in front of big audiences.
And so, the majority of men learns about the shallowness of nowadays women. Be it in relationships or business: Life forms us to function!
Shallowness and hypergamy turns the majority of men into cynicists - which is good: Nature protects most of the men from a) suicide and b) going postal (though both, suicide rates are 4x higher among young man than among young women, and the number of mass shootings out of frustration seems to grow). However, the majority of men just - rightly - turns away from women, keeps being friendly with them at workplaces etc., but does not feel much respect for women any longer.
That is alright and makes perfectly sense.
How would most male sea lions feel, if they were able to write books about their lives as loners? One male of a population procreated with all females at the beach in that species.
Internet and modern dating apps turn human society back to nature, back to the last 4000 years of Stone Age (where a study on gen-data has revealed: Up to 17 women have procreated with just one - obviously very attractive - male, before man-made moral based societies and religion have changed this at the cost of oppression of women: This era is now ending).
If you tell people to reflect their use of plastic about pollution in oceans, then they will agree.
If you tell people to reflect their emission of CO2 about climate change, then they will agree.
If you tell people to reflect their meat consumption to save water, then they will agree.
...but when telling people (women) to reflect their dating behaviour (also for their own sake as aging singles), then hell freezes: "HOW DARE YOU not respecting female preferences".
This is bigotry of modern society that we have to accept.
You have to turn that around. You have to not be so nice on the outside, but you are allowed to be nice in your own head. People think being nice equals weakness, including women. If you do not act nice all the time, then people will not take advantage of you.
But once people pick up on you are not "nice" and state what you want and be confident, then that gives you the room to be nice to people on an individual level.
Watch any Clint Eastwood movie for an example. Everyone always thinks his character is a gruff mean guy on the outside, but then he does something extremely nice for someone and it is totally unexpected by the other character. Be a jerk in public, nice in private.
@@bobross1829and your part of the problem in this world
The term. Nice guy has been bastardized to mean a con man. So be a good man. Justin Waller put out the idea that a good man should be able to hold a baby and slit a throat in the same day. Something to ponder
Be careful with rejection, there's a point of being rejected where you become indifferent to it, which is good, but if this continues, you then start to expect it. That's where I'm at unfortunately.
That's when you stop dating, reinvest in yourself, then re-engage. If I'm running a dungeon that's too hard, I don't quit the game. I review my build, my kit, and I level up. Then I try again. Rinse and repeat. You can win, you just have to figure out how.
It's a self-fulfilling prophecy then. Take a break. Unwind reload
It’s not the guys you need to have this conversation with. It’s the women
I'd add some more harsh truths to this:
1) Few females and males have truly learned how to be women and men.
2) It's rare to find real men or real women because hardly anyone of either sex has been properly taught (if taught at all) about how to approach dating properly and how to have proper, meaningful relationships in the first place.
3) The world in general has become a far more selfish place on the whole, which has greatly complicated finding good candidates that succeeded at #s 1 and 2 above.
7:50 I would point out here that it's USUALLY not a malicious thing. These "nice guys" were oftentimes specifically taught to act in this way by their mothers, usually single mothers, for their entire life. When your mom teaches you your whole life that women don't want sex and that it's never appropriate to want it or ask for it, then you're left with the idea of doing enough "nice things" for her that she eventually decides to pay up. It's terrible, but that's what lots of especially single moms teach their boys
This. Tack on that boys are taught by society and women to be ashamed of their sexuality, so they get into not only the mindset you described, but also the mindset that if you have any sexual desire at all, you're a disgusting POS. At least a few of my dating failures came from discomfort over my own sexuality inhibiting me from making any move that could steer me away from being friend zoned.
My mom always taught me to respect and never hit women. Unfortunately, she left out the part that some women can be POS and very complicated.
@@gk_zone4274 Exactly. Both of my parent and grandparents taught me the same. Only after seeing real life spoiled toddlers in grown womans body I saw the other side. Also when I've seen in person people I know having their lives ruined by females with malicious intentions, interested only in getting free house, free experience stuff even if the husband's hobbies and life gets destroyed.
Being a gentleman also means being very strict about something and having strong moral and values, not just being polite to her and give her flowers every time you see her. In modern terms it's not accepting BS behaviour from anyone, especially the wife. The last one I learned it from both of my grandparents.
It’s easy to say for someone like you who will never have to take the first step, will never be rejected or ghosted. Women are too complicated and never straight forward in saying what they want.
Absolutely right. It's all a game for women.
@@Shah-of-the-Shinebox It's become more of a game than at any time in history - and often you are only playing someone else's saved game.
It true that women don't approach but have you ever thought about how hard it is to be the one that has to do the rejecting? Especially rejecting someone that can overpower you, and might get shitty.
@@aliadeeb6859practice makes perfect. No one ever said that it wasn't hard to do the rejecting. But it's the difference of deciding what to eat from a buffet versus trying to convince someone to give you a bite of food from their plate.
6 harsh truths of dating, for men:
1.) Don't date.
2.) Don't date.
3.) Don't date.
4.) Don't date.
5.) Don't date.
6.) Don't date.
Mmkay. What would you suggest as an alternative?
@@exothermal.sprocket Hookers and blow
@@exothermal.sprocket just emagine that one day all women disappeared from the word. What would you do? Do that.
@@AugustSchroif I have to strongly assume by that comment that you believe most or all of the problems in the world are stemmed from the female sex? If this is not what you meant, please explain.
That's what's so great about not dating. I don't have to learn anything! Who cares about dating? Let them deal with this!
@@hamilton9651You're replying to a bot, h - the one that's infesting the comments here, underneath many of the comments from real people.
Best tegards
You didn't mention vehement rejection. Nothing destroyed my confidence more and generated animosity to women more than a profanity laden rejection
The only way to win is to not play the game = Peace, quit and Freedom
Rejection taught me to elevate my company mindset and lifestyle thank you Courtney Ryan
taught me to stop trying why waste effort on something that's never going to happen
@@nathanpoirier7200 EXACTLY!
Since I'm often portrayed as friendly, compassionate and respectful to everyone, I'm not really sure whether or not I'm truly a nice guy or a gentleman. I have my flaws, but I have a heart of gold.
If that's how most people describe you as, don't change for anyone. You will meet the right woman that deserves the nice guy in you.
@@shekool18 thank you. Hope so too.
For the past three years I have been hitting the gym every almost every single day, packing on a substantial amount of visible muscle. I also graduated with a Master's in Software Engineering last month, drive a nice car, also, continuously improving myself and feeling better about myself and still cannot manage to even maintain consistent conversations with girls whatsoever, let alone get a date, despite the fact that I am always upbeat and make them laugh. At this point I don't think there's any hope left. I have noticed that most of these modern women are very disrespectful towards men and only attracted towards toxic guys who treat them bad.
Take photos of yourself outside, not in the gym. Change every profile photo to your best one in the most relaxed, comfortable, natural setting. Don't mention the gym, job, cars or money on your bio and have no photos of any of it. They want you, not your stuff. Ask more questions with girls, listen more, talk less. Be mysterious, but honest. Don't tell them everything, let them work on finding out. Tease them, focus on not just laughing, but being relaxed and open with them. Offer a hot drink local to them, call it a first date, nothing else, have an hour's chat with them. They'll like you more.
@@PenguinHealth I really appreciate the advice, thank you. I do have several photos of me outside and not just the gym of course but that's one of my main passions outside of my career. The issue is I start conversations off very well with them, I do ask questions as you've mentioned but several minutes later I get ghosted. I have no control over that. I only speak when it's time to speak. All the time what happens to me is that I get ghosted, ghosted ghosted, left right and center and to be fair I've gotten to a point where I really don't give a fuck anymore, I used to before.
@@MrSemro12345asking questions is sort of the wrong answer at the same time. The conversation must flow naturally and be fun. That’s the biggest problem. While I know that’s how it must go I have no idea how to drive it to be such.
Also, many MANY dating profiles on apps are fake these days. They make their money of men, that’s their biggest consumer. Also why women get 20billion matches on them. You are literally a needle in a haystack on a dating because even less attractive women get HUNDREDS of matches in a very short time.
Going out and putting yourself out there has always been the best way. As horrible as this sounds it forces them to actually talk to you and not immediately write you off with a swipe of their thumb for some arbitrary attribute she saw or read in your profile (as a short man, this happens to me constantly. If I change my height even two inches I get a stupid amount of more matches because I’m good looking…. Just 5’6”)
Get locked up, shave your head, and get some prison tattoos. You’ll get a lot of women when you get out. Treat them bad, and you’ll attract even more.
all of those things you listed are external. You can be the most fit man, with the fastest car, and dress flawlessly, and still be an absolute shlub. Laughter is a good thing to break the ice, but its not the be all and end all of conversation. Work on yourself internally, like having thoughts on various topics having hobbies, having a good personality, and things will change.
I’ve seen one-night stands turn into long-term relationships and multiple dates turn into rejection. Bottom line, if a woman is in to you, she will not make it difficult for you.
💯
I agree. If a gal likes you, they do make it easy. If you have to pull with them, forget about it.
Never take relationship advice from someone who had it easy in dating.
Well said
I believe something else no one ever talks about but guys also need to make deep meaningful friendships with other guys-this will teach compassion, empathy, respect, vulnerability and will help build personality. These values transfer into the long term relationships with women guys hope to have.
I've learned a lot about women from becoming close friends with women. We're nearly different species. You don't gotta take their dating advice, but you can look at similarities many women share, and act accordingly when it comes to seeing someone new.
What sort of things make them uncomfortable, their boundaries, what they like to do in their spare time, what makes them respect someone else, what makes them write off someone else as irredeemable.
You'll often find yourself in situations where over-aggressive guys hit on them right in front of you. You get a front row seat to see what NOT to do, and they'll laugh about it after and say why.
AS as woman who is married I can say THIS is phenomenal advice . These are men we want.
Ive been in relationships in the past and now im single, yeah fair enough it does get lonely but i think im at peace now even if i dont find another girl again, like in american beauty when he says "its hard to stay mad when theres so much beauty in the world!" Dating and relationships are getting too stressful and it really takes its toll, especially on people who have got severe mental health problems! Life is like a smoke screen!
There are 0 women who put in effort. Unless the effort is only into themselves.
Courtney, discovering your channel has been a huge breath of fresh air for me. Almost all of the dating advice for men on the internet falls into one of two categories. Its either a bunch of sugar coated bs based on naive and unrealistic ideas or super toxic "alpha male" advice. But, your videos are neither. You tell the truth (even if some people don't want to hear it) while at the same time steering clear of all the toxicity and manipulation. I also love that you are sympathetic to the problems of men while still not being afraid to tell us the harsh truths we need to hear. For once, it makes me feel understood and like there actually are good women out there who care about us and want us to do better. Despite being right about a lot of things, the red pill community frames everything in such a toxic and negative way which only left me feeling bitter and depressed. I'm so incredibly thankful that I ditched the red pill and found you. You have renewed my faith in women and I have never been more optimistic about my dating future. So, from the bottom of my heart, Courtney, thank you!
Wow - this comment blew me away. Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so happy you’re here! 🤍🥹
@@CourtneyRyanyou’re welcome! Happy to be here! 😁
@@joebarlow4064mmmmm does she tell the truth though?
Since she likes to drop truths maybe she could start with how much her, some what odd looking, husband makes.
JOE LETS GO WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT SUPER BOWL I CAN TELL A GUY NAMED AARON DONALD DOMINATED YOUR O LINE AND YOUR UNIFORM IN YOUR PROFILE LOOKS LIKE TOM BRADY ANS NO ONE WILL BREAK HIS SUPER BOWL TITLES NOT EVEN BELICHICK
Get out in the real world is right! That was my experience. Looking back at high school, rejection was less painful than the communal shame that accompanied it. At least, that was how I was made to feel, and I know others felt the same: what I am saying is, just one girl might have turned you down, but her entire pack of friends or her church youth group, etc, earned the right to ridicule you. Not sure why it was that way, but it was. Not sure what course of action to recommend to others, but “get outside” is a good place to start. In the 1990s, I quit dating in my local community and looked for relationships elsewhere, which I sometimes was able to find. This was before online dating, but I don’t know if that is a the path to tread, then or now.
Your right about getting out in the real world. In high school, never went out because I was painfully shy. It wasn't until years after I got out of high school that I started going out and it was always by myself.
Cliques is what you're describing. They still very much exist today, but in businesses and politics and churches. Not sure cliques are as much a thing in the 30's and 40's somethings looking for love.
“Be nice and do good things just because, not to get something in return.” I always thought this was interesting. Seems more like, “Do things for me like a good little simp.”
Basically, yeah.
How dare you have expectations of women. Just keep shelling the big bucks, and prostrate yourself with a big smile, and don’t think I owe you jack sh*t because that’s what you’re meant to do. Know your damn place, swine.
I really have had enough! Screw dating!
A huge truth: not one person is completely single. Either they are talking to multiple people, have a FWB, still talk to their ex, are in a situationship, etc.
You don't just "attract what you are," you also attract what's around you. You could be going to school, have a good job, be Christian, abstain, etc and still attract aimless, narcissistic bums. As long as you have something that people want (money, sex, distraction), there will always be someone interested in you. Many with bad, short term intentions. Now, if you're a decent person, you can also attract likeminded ppl, but it can still take a while to sift thru the mess to get to them. I will say it makes a difference when you try to forcefully find your person and base your sense of purpose around that. Ppl can pick up on low self-esteem, neediness, and desperation. But being content with your single life and making room when someone substantial comes along is the best way to go. You're not making rash decisions from a desperate place, but informed ones based on you two investing in each other.
I agree. The environments you hang around, also play a part in they type of people you attract. If your a decent dude with your stuff together, and hang out in scummy bars, there's gonna be scummy people attracted to you there.
Bars are usually the places where people go to alter their consciousness with alcohol. What are the kinds of people who are looking to alter their consciousness with alcohol? The atmosphere in bars is usually dark/dim, usually loud upbeat music, usually lots of TV screens, usually noisy talking people trying to compete with the other noises. What sort of accuracy does all of this produce in assessing the sort of person you might meet there?
6 Harsh Truths Men Need To Know About Dating
1. You have to be willing to put in effort.
2. You attract what you are.
3. Rejection is part of the process.
4. The “nice guy” and the “gentleman” are different.
5. Dating isn’t black and white. (what you see online isn’t always reality. Dating involves complex emotions and situations)
6. Being angry and bitter will not help you.
All good points, especially 1, 3, and 6. If you aren't willing to put forth the effort to better yourself, to increase your value as a man, then you cannot expect women to pursue you. In terms of rejection, we as men get rejected A LOT by women and by society. The distinction with this one is that we have to learn how to accept rejection gracefully and move on. It's a skill that we need to develop and maintain. #4 I really agree with you; the two are different and I hate being called the "nice guy." I'm not a nice guy, I'm a gentleman. My parents raised me and my twin brother to be that way. Great explanation of the differences between the two, Courtney. The hardest one for me was #6. Letting go of anger and bitterness has been a lifelong process of developing that skill. It's easier for me to do it now as a grown man in his thirties, but when I was younger, it was very difficult to let go of my anger.
Never bring the nice guy or gentleman into the bedroom.
She's gonna make a great mom dawg. The way she gives advice is so soothing. It's so comforting ❤
Agreed with everything but the "You attract what you are." statement. In my experience I attract those who perceive me and my actions in a positive way. Another person will eventually know who I am, but that usually will take time. In the meantime they can see a projection of me.
If anyone is killing chivalry, its women. I was at the gym and me and another guy went to fill up our water bottles at the same time and i let him go first and he was very appreciative, he smiled nodded his head and went on his way. Straight after i filled my bottle and was going to leave, me and a girl approached the exit on the way out and i offered her to go first, she immediately said "just walk through" with her face looking disgust and her voice slightly angry... and this all happened in matter of minutes of the 2 interactions... so fellas. Blame the women for killing chivalry because from what happened to me they clearly dont like it 🤷
That's one woman's reaction, not all women would do the same. Be happy you weren't stuck in a relationship with a kid with her! The majority of women do appreciate a gentlemen, don't give up, the right woman, a proper lady, is out there for you. Go find her.
There's an entire trend of women telling others to break up with their boyfriends if you don't like or want to watch Barbie, one of them self proclaimed she isn't a feminist because she believes women are better than men.
There is no chivalry warranted.
A harsh truth that I think men and women (and influencers like Courtney) can learn is that putting in effort is no guarantee of success. I understand influencers are in sales and have goals of advertising their thoughts and beliefs but I wish more people discussed their beliefs with a grain of salt. No matter how much effort you put in 15% of people will not find a partner and even when they do, more than half will not be sustained long term. However influencers paint the picture that if you put in the effort and work on yourself, you will see results. There is much more important factors that go into whether a long term relationship is possible than work ethic, flexibility, and perseverance.
No one can guarantee you success, they can only offer guidance to increase your chances. And there are other benefits of the process. It's not just about being someone a woman likes, but being/becoming someone that you like.
@@jeneeskinner7481 I quite agree. your chance of success is much more a function of where you live and the amount of like minded people you come into contact with than effort. For example, I spend the vast amount of my time as a digital nomad living out of a van. No matter how hard I try the constant travel makes it nearly impossible to date. While traveling to various National Parks I meet people who live in remote areas. They are great people who work hard on themselves, are adventures and kind, and exude confidence, but are single for lack of options in their area. I am a lawyer by trade and know many other lawyers who moved from large cities to rural towns to help out their families. There are enough people but no one similar to their morals. Putting in effort can make someone in an already good scenario successful but will not help someone where other more important factors supersede
Some people delay their growth to find a partner due to loneliness. It's not neccesarily a bad thing to self improve as that outcome will help you grow on a larger scale. Finding someone in a relationship is all chance and encounter, and that's okay. Not everyone in the world will be right for you, so when a person finally comes around, it's good to have that positive energy that draws people near. I'm telling you, the world could use more positivity.
Stand up for yourself. Treat people like they treat you. No more no less. And you’ll find you don’t have to chase girls. They will have to make an effort with you. And you’ll be fine if they don’t. Because nothing of value was lost. She didn’t try. You don’t want her.
“You are what you attract “ gotcha I have never attracted anyone regardless of what I’ve done so that means I’m a nobody. Pretty much confirms my suspicions
I feel this changed my mindset and perspective on talking to or interacting with women, I read it on a forum, I thought the guy hit the nail right on the head.
It changed my perspective and mindset on talking to women.
A guy was asking for advice on how to get better at talking to women, and people used the word practice
"It bothers and annoys, enrages me or pisses me off a lot when people use the word practice, because the way I see it, for women, there is no such thing as practicing talking to men, because women's lives are on autopilot when it comes to talking to men since puberty, due to all of the constant attention they've been getting since then, women are forced to, have no choice but to learn how to talk to men, and they gain it right away by doing nothing since they don't have to open their mouth first"
I thought to myself, never truer words have been said or spoken.
I thought that was bang-on right there.
and i got a response from a dating coach on youtube, which enraged and pissed me off more, while I don't disagree with him, I just don't like how he said the brutal cold harsh fact of how different for men and women when it comes to getting better at talking to and interacting with the opposite sex.
It makes sense and I like to believe there is far more advice for guys in the world on how to talk to and interact with girls then there is advice for girls on how to talk to and interact with guys.
He said:
"Don't worry about what other people don't have to do or why something is easier for them or whatever the comparison may be. Focus on you, where you want to be, what you need to do to get there and then get moving."
That pissed me off more when I read that.
Another reason why I don't like it is because it feels or seems like the way a guy talks and interacts with people or a guy's social skills, the way he behaves around others, has a much bigger impact on his attractiveness or ability to get a girlfriend then the other way around. As in, the way a girl talks or a girl's social skills doesn't impact her attractiveness or ability to get a boyfriend as much as it does for a guy to get a girlfriend. Men need to focus more on the behavioral aspect than women do when it comes to attracting someone it seems. The main reason why i hate that, is because guys, men, can unfortuneately be labeled creepy or weird in interactions or social situations with women, even if the guy, man, never meant any harm, was never trying to hurt the woman, the reverse isn't true though.
And due to men always having been expected to walk up to women and open our mouth, it makes more sense for the man to need to practice but not the woman.
If an interaction or conversation goes poorly or bad between a man and a woman,. It's always the guys fault, it's impossible for a woman to screw up a conversation or interaction with a guy, it seems.
The last part I honestly don't get how I am not supposed to be bitter. I don't meet anyone irl that is single and no one on the dating apps ever wants to go out. Even the few times I've tried to be positive and was it didn't make any difference.
I think sometimes it helps to remember you're not alone. I'm right there with you, and from what I can tell... a ton of guys are. Might also help to remember, some dudes actually have it even worse. Sadly, I don't think that desire ever goes away... but it's not like everyone is getting over and you're the only one left out in the cold. And there is a little value in this experience too. I've heard the best way to know who your friends really are is to fall ill. If you've got people there for you in these hard times, always remember them. Also, be aware of those (girl)friends that mysteriously show up when times are good.
Agree with the guy above. It'll pay off to one day be able to focus on the positive experiences we've had in dating rather thrash holding on to the resentment of defeats and other perils. Seems a matter of retraining our perspectives and moving past the hurt and leaving it in the past
@@FxUznilo I guess but I can't even get anyone to go on a date with so it is hard to even feel half way decent about anything.
> I don't meet anyone irl that is single
Don't take this the wrong way, but you really can't be meeting many people then.
As a guy, one of the best things you can do to increase your chances is talk to tons of women. Doing that also decreases bitterness too.
@@mitchell2075 cool thanks for the super helpful info
I wish I had an older sister like you growing up.
I don’t always like what you have to say, but I do appreciate your videos.
I'm on the fence for #2. I think sometimes you are what you attract, but if you're a marathon runner who watches what you eat and maintains your health so that you're in great shape, and you have a literal ton of obese women who think you're hot stuff, that's not because you're secretly obese. I think some things, like health, are just universally attractive.
As a woman I don’t believe in that quote. I’ve had hobos approach me and I’m an attractive woman with a career and apartment, so I live somewhere lol. I think it’s not who you attract but who you keep
Trust me, the list goes on, and on and on and on.
Thank you for the “not everything is black and white” advice, I really needed to hear that. 😊
The harshest truth is that while women like kindness, intelligence, and loyalty, they aren't attracted to those traits.
Being nice and being a gentleman is the same thing whether you like it or not. Society does not define what you perceived it to be. Your personal experiences are not relevant. Being nice is just as it sounds being nice. It is positive. People trying to gaslight men into thinking it is negative are retarded. I come from a long line of nice people who selflessly give up their wants, needs and desires to help others and spread positivity and love to the world. Being nice, is simply being chivalrous, selfless and an over all good person. There is another name for someone being disingenuous. That is fake, in authentic, or disingenuous. Simple. Nice is nice. Fake is fake. Not having a backbone is not having a backbone. Really simple. Stop telling people not to be good people just because you don't understand the proper definitions of words.
Be a gentleman and a good person to everyone and anyone you do not want to have a romantic relationship with. She will choose the career criminal with four other baby mamas ahead of the nice guy standing in front of her.
Words can have different meanings depending on the context. Here the word "nice" is usually put in quotes to denote men who are basically people pleasers. They desperately need validation from others, so they always deal with other people's needs while suppressing their own. They lack boundaries, are pushovers and can easily become very angry and frustrated because they bottle up all negative feelings and frustrations.
This does not make them bad people, however, and I don't even think they are consciously aware of how manipulative they can come across to other people; but there's a clear distinction between such a person and someone who is genuinely nice and not wanting anything in return.
No. Good can be defined as "for you". Nice can be defined as "through you, for me." It's not about the action itself, it's about how you go about it. Nice guys are the wrong kind of safe. Learn to be a strong, good man. Not a boyish man looking for validation from others.
@@vlada131
People that call nice people manipulative are people well versed in gaslighting and overall just users.
In my experience, being nice to these users leads them to asking for more, and then more, and then more. The asking becomes demanding and "we're friends" is uttered frequently by these users. All the while the user treats the nice person worse and worse. Finally the nice person says no. The user makes them out to be an asshole and manipulator, which is just projection.
Don't be a user.
People attract who they are _and_ people who are “lower”/“less desirable”.
People of both sexes often chase after people far “better” than them in any regard
Improving oneself will help you attract better/more compatible partners but doesn’t necessarily intimidate the same people you were previously attracting before
That's why men on dating sites rate women on a bell curve and are willing to be with someone near their looks match while women swipe on only the top 5% and will accept a date from only the top 20%, right? I'm sure every single woman on every single dating site would be rated at an 8+.
Now what is your heuristic for those people able to get into relationships other than rejecting the undesirables and fantasizing about their betters.
@@pace1195
Don’t talk to me about dating websites, dating apps, hookup apps or anything similar in attempts to refute me:
Reason 1: My statement is what is based off what has been true for hundreds if not thousands of years. Your silly little apps and sites are not relevant to the large majority of mankind that has ever been coupled up with someone. Before the 1980s absolutely no one was dating virtually, by the end of the 90s still
Everytime I try to seek companionship with women who align with my values, it backfires.
Backfires are due to spark timing that is usually too much advanced. The mixture combusts too early before the piston reaches top-dead-center. The result can often reverse crankshaft rotation, open the intake valve, and blow the burning gasses back out the intake.
Hey Cortney I really love your channel you’re the only dating coach on you tube I trust cause you don’t make dating sound like a weird mind game
Thank heavens im married now. I couldn't imagine having to date anymore
You and me both
Dating is such a challenge nowadays. I'm either "too" clingy or not clingy enough. I'm "too" emotionally involved or not emotionally involved enough. I'm putting in "too" much effort or not enought effort. I'm 34 and have no children. I want children, I want a family but it seems impossible today. I've honestly been looking into co-parenting but even that alone is just as complicated as dating. Women want the co-parent to meet XYZ standards. Most of the time their standards are the same as their dating standards.
M̳e̳s̳s̳a̳g̳e̳ ̳m̳y̳ ̳T̳e̳l̳e̳g̳r̳a̳m̳ ̳a̳b̳o̳v̳e̳🌝🛐🤦♂️,,
Love your tough truth. Glad you poked some holes into my thought process. Making me grow is always welcome!
so far I been having a good day at work people have been nice to me we need more kindness in this world but not everyone is nice these days I know things
M̳e̳s̳s̳a̳g̳e̳ ̳m̳y̳ ̳T̳e̳l̳e̳g̳r̳a̳m̳ ̳a̳b̳o̳v̳e̳🌝🛐🤦♂️
That's the key point: Both the man and the women need to put in 100% time, energy and effort into dating and or a relationship! It will fail if one of these is missing and one will feel resentment or pissed off because the other person isn't putting 100%! All three points are on point! But, why would a male go on a date with a female you don't like, Courtney? I don't or won't! You will know this before you even go on a date when you're talking and texting! Nice guys finish last!!
I volunteered with a young woman (fairly traditional in most of her beliefs, definitely not a normal 20-something). Over time we got to know each other pretty well; our work often had a lot of down time and was in an environment that fostered a lot of personal conversations.
I made it clear on one or two occasions I wasn’t looking to date her and EXPLICITLY stated that I absolutely never expect ANYTHING from anyone. To do otherwise would be deceitful and unloving.
After working together for three months and having a few social things together, I gave her some gifts for her BIRTHDAY. Days later, I got an unbelievably long text message suggesting that I only gave things to her to gain her affection. I was completely stunned. Like. IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY. 😂😂😂
I was already closed off to dating prior to this (which I told her multiple times), but man - this just took my level of disappointment in Western women and confusion to a new extreme I didn’t even know existed.
Men don’t owe society anything. Men don’t owe anybody anything. Men have one duty, and that is to themselves and themselves only.
The “nice guy” doesn’t have to mean underlying intentions. Guys are “nice” to each other all the time. Nope, we should just replace the term “nice guy” with “boring guy.”
A "nice guy" is usually a guy who is nice but just not physically attractive enough to a particular woman.
And "boring" usually means "stable"
@@rhysh2639 That too^
"Nice guys" are the ones for long-term (aka "female bailout plan")
Bad boys to blow her back
I was recently talking with a girl on OKC. She was excited to be hearing from me and I was very direct. Lo and behold, I checked OKC later to find out (you guessed it) she unmatched me, didn't call back (though we had an engaging sexual convo). I sent her a pic of me and a new woman I was with in her place and thanked her for showing disinterest.
This is why I stopped saving women's names in my phone until the smash. When she leaves before I smashed, her number and text log is completely deleted.
Can we stop with this narrative that it's bad to expect something in return for being kind, generous, and well mannered? There isn't a single person on the planet that can go their entire life being those things, while receiving nothing in return besides disrespect, mistreatment, and a lack of appreciation. In this day and age, I'd rather chop off my testicles with a rusty spoon, than be a gentleman.
This was all good advice. I have a lot of experience dating and I can say the dating scene has become more difficult every year since around 2014 when society really started to change fast. I think things are starting to self correct, so for those of you with low morale, work on yourselves, boost your morale, and get back out there. Spring is always the easiest time to find someone.
M̳e̳s̳s̳a̳g̳e̳ ̳m̳y̳ ̳T̳e̳l̳e̳g̳r̳a̳m̳ ̳a̳b̳o̳v̳e̳🌝🛐🤦♂️
This is all good advice, but if a man only ever experiences rejection it becomes impossible for him to stay optimistic that he will eventually be desired. For the men out there, if constant rejection makes you miserable and depressed then I think the best thing to do is just stop trying. Enjoy everything else life has to offer, because women aren’t worth death. Life is far too short to waste on people who don’t want you.
Yeah. I dropped out of dating in my late 20's when 5 ex's and old flings recontacted me out of the blue. I figured out what was happening. They were hitting the wall and looking for a husband to bail them out of student loan debt and/or their soul crushing job. It disgusted me beyond belief. If i wasn't good enough for them in my early 20's, they don't deserve me in my late 20's. I don't want leftover women. And yeah i understand i'll be called leftover too but shame doesn't work on me so the leftovers can call me whatever.
I'm fine being single. The longer men remain single the harder it is for women to convince men to get romantically involved. Men who spend their 20's with constant rejection will throw in the towel.
The thing that worries me is how many Western men are sexless and hopeless. No society lasts for long when 50% of men are sexless and hopeless.
@@Andrew--SAmen
I needed to hear that rejection part. As always thank you Courtney!
I wish woman did all the things men had to do. Imagine a woman putting in effort to ask a guy out. I guarentee you, the percentage of single men wouldnt be as low as it is today.
exactly
Be Tall(6-0+), Fit(6 pack abs), Rich(100K / yr minimum), Well Educated (Master's minimum) ~ meh, I am going back to the grind, gym, gun range, garage - my time, money, energy & attention are better spent there. For me, I will NEVER get married, I will NEVER have kids (not mine - nor hers) and if those are off the table - What is the point of 'dating'? - .... *THERE ISN'T*
dirty secret that I have learned the hard way - give a girl respect, honesty, loyalty, commitment, security, consistency, reliability and she / they will cheat / lie / game / ghost to go get / chase the exact opposite - she / they will reward and seek the Bad boy that is disrepectful, unstable, criminal, toxic, most often abusive ... AND BLAME YOU FOR IT. *FFS*
We’ll never be perfect, but we can always be better 🙂
Great video, Courtney, point #3 resonated a lot with me! As hard as it can be to handle rejection, it’s a chance for engage in positive reflection and an opportunity to find someone more compatible
Courtney, are you all going to resume the fragrance channel at some point? Enjoyed the different opinions and reactions.
If you attract what you are, and nobody is attracted to you in a romantic sense, what does that mean?
Someone needs to start a new civic organization called something like the Order of Fellow Nobodys. It would have 50 million member men within the year.
The "taking 2 business days to respond" is what kills me. At work she's all flirty and talks but then you hear nothing all weekend. In my opinion of you like someone. Talk to them. All I ask
One lesson I've certainly learned is that with dating; things out of your control can destroy a relationship despite your best efforts to stay together. Working with my ex girlfriend is painful as well, but it's worse when I was think about "what could of been."
Don't make my mistake, gentleman. Ladies can certainly be heartbreakers and it can take a man to his grave.
"It takes six men to take a man to his grave. It takes one woman to take him there"
Not to be that guy but the actual quote is " It Takes Six Men To Carry A Man To His Grave, But Only One Woman To Put Him There".
@@Marcus-gw4bb don't be that guy.
@@michaelbasgall8924 lol I hate myself for that but I also value accuracy XD
Have the salesman attitude of 'NEXT' to a failed relationship. Don't look back, wish how it could have been, focus on the next one, it could be fantastic. And save you from an early grave, due to happiness!
Basically being a gentlemen is being a nice while not being taken as desperate. That's like saying you are not creep when you're handsome.
This video was interesting to watch, even for me who has no interest in dating. Sometimes I feel like my life would be better if I was in a relationship, but given what I've experienced I'm not sure if that's true. Society feels so fake nowadays that I'm probably better off doing my own thing.
Dating is like auditioning for each other, including friendships. If I see that person often from a club or sports facility/class, I get to understand what type of person they are everyday I see them, and I know exactly whether if I want to be close to that person or not. Otherwise, if it's a person I run into for the first time online or in real life, the interaction might only last less than a minute, and that's all it takes for me to make a cut. I don't waste time debating whether if that particular person should or shouldn't be in my life. It's just as simple as that.
M̳e̳s̳s̳a̳g̳e̳ ̳m̳y̳ ̳T̳e̳l̳e̳g̳r̳a̳m̳ ̳a̳b̳o̳v̳e̳🌝🛐🤦♂️,
"Show up for yourself" has become my mantra! Believe me, I needed the change of perspective! Thanks soooo much, Courtney!!t🙏
I think we have a different definition of what a nice guy is.
Courtney is pure GOLD, we attract what we are, but we are always looking for something else and then are disappointed, as she said work / improve on those aspects which we are lacking,.. Courtney's way of explaining these things is spectacular, leaves all of us in awe,..
Go look up her husbands net worth and see if that changes your opinion
@@DudeGuy82 Not married yet, just engaged but big day is soon I think. "Teddy".
@@x-man5056 they got married awhile ago my dude.
@@DudeGuy82 I get where you’re coming from, maybe she’s somebody who preaches but not practices herself. What is more pressing is why make all this effort if it has zero relevance for her own self.
That 'attracting what you are' thing sounds like a spurious notion to me. I'll just use the latest female that chased after me as an example.
She's kind of agnostic, VERY left-leaning, drinks too much, occasionally smokes weed and drives a Ford.
I'm a devout Christian, Politically centrist/culturally more conservative by the day, don't drink/smoke or use drugs EVER and drive a Chevy.
This person developed a crush on me in high school circa 2000. Didn't tell me about it until 2011. Never got a chance to try to do anything about it until 2017 and kept trying despite repeated polite rejections on my part until 2022 when I decided to cut her off for good. That person was nothing like me at all. How did I attract that poor soul?
Baldur's Gate 3 just dropped; ain't nobody got time for dating !
As fucked up as it is. At least with gaming if you pay money in hopes of enjoying something and don't like it; you can get your money back via refund.
If you pay for a girls meal, and everything else towards a date, you just validated her attention and there's no refunds after you realize they are only replying with one worded answers and look at their phone.
The next step is watching ads from an engaged girl who does it for promo ad code cuts while telling the same sex that historically does all the work to "put in work" as if its a revelation.
Gay sex with bear >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Dating
Sorry gals, but that's the harsh truth!
Also, I love the Forte hair scupt product you recommend. It's awesome.
The thing about rejection is that people tend to take the negative feedback personally, even if the rejection stemmed from an interaction involving a complete stranger. It's something that you have to gradually desensitize yourself towards which is why a lot of PUAs advise men to intentionally put themselves in situations where they get constantly rejected so that the sting becomes less painful over time.
It feels like women today have impossible standards.
I'm over 6 ft tall, 230 lbs and muscular, I have a great hairline with thick hair, my teeth are straight and white, I try to dress nice, due to my last profession I'm very charismatic and great at conversation...
YET, the only women I tend to attract are 20+ lbs overweight and don't have much going for them, other than they're fun people to be around.
All that said, I'm not the perfect man. I make enough to be financially independent and enough extra to have a paid off car and have fun on the weekends, take girls out, but a career change and covid has left me a little behind my peers. I take care of myself and clean up and while some do think I'm quite handsome, I certainly am not the best looking. Still, I was dealt better genetics than many, MANY guys.
What more does a man have to do? If I have it this hard I can't imagine how it is for others. It's absurd.
Men don’t owe society anything. Men don’t owe anybody anything. Men have one duty, and that is to themselves and themselves only.
Thank you for everything you do Courtney
"Go outside and touch some grass!" Lol!
This also applies to the lady.
I just love this woman mentality, she’s awesome
what if you don't attract anything
What gets me is we always hear, "You don't CHOOSE who you fall in love with." So honestly what's the use - or even the point - of making/having a list of preferences, or traits, or even wishes/wants for a potential partner to have, when the "one" that FATE chooses for us as the one we WILL fall in love with may turn out to be the complete opposite of the type of person we thought/felt/even dreamed we wanted?
So either the line about "We don't choose who we fall in love with" is a bunch of bull crap; or it's an excuse used to explain relationships for which there is no other reasonable explanation.
Omg *COPE* Ted bundy was angry & bitter & hated vvoman & girls were literally throwing themselves at him but he was physically attractive . Dating now a days is all based on *LOOKS / GENETICS*
Actually all serial killers get tons of marriage proposals from women....its called Hybristophilia
He was also, obviously, sociopathic. One characteristic of sociopaths is that they are often very charming, and Bundt was no exception
@@devilsadvocacy Charisma is nothing more than having regular social skills . if Ted bundy dint have his looks his “charisma” wouldn’t work
@@devilsadvocacy - if Ted Bundy is a sociopath and had women throwing themselves at him, but Courtney suggests "we attract what we are", does that mean all those women too, were sociopaths?
"Emotional availability" is one of those terms like "connection" that women use a lot but men have no idea what they're talking about, it's totally opaque. Should do a translation video.
M̳e̳s̳s̳a̳g̳e̳ ̳m̳y̳ ̳T̳e̳l̳e̳g̳r̳a̳m̳ ̳a̳b̳o̳v̳e̳🌝🛐🤦♂️,
Initially I listened to a dude’s dating advice. He didn’t have steady partner and took pride in constantly getting someone new. Your credibility is enhanced because you have a healthy committed partner. He is clearly a high value guy because he approves you posting this type of contact which a low value guy would never want you to do. Cheers to your dude and your wisdom
Did your dating advice dude (who I assume you see as a low value guy) ever care what the women he plowed through did for a living before he moved on to his next conquest?
I don't agree with what you say but okay!? 😳😬😏
That's a Pick Up Artist, not a dating expert. There are plenty of men in committed relationships who give dating advice.
Nick Freitas
Casey Zander
Rollo Tomassi
A lot more but I don't feel like making a long list.
I do think a woman's perspective can be useful, but you simply don't learn how to fish, from fish. You learn from successful fishermen. So even a PUA can teach you how to find a woman. You simply use what they teach to find "the one," instead of acting like a modern woman who wants to get ran through
@@pace1195 not that I saw
Life has hard moments. Even when life is going bad, it is very important to keep going and focus on what you have. True success takes time to develop, and if you focus on what is wrong and remain bitter towards relationships or other bad things in life, you are wasting energy that could be used on a solution. In the meantime, you can keep improving yourself and your own life while taking time to enjoy yourself as well since you will always have that in spite of other people or uncontrollable circumstances.
M̳e̳s̳s̳a̳g̳e̳ ̳m̳y̳ ̳T̳e̳l̳e̳g̳r̳a̳m̳ ̳a̳b̳o̳v̳e̳🌝🛐🤦♂️,
"Don't date women whom you don't have the intention to get married." (Elliot Hulse)
It took me a while to understand that going on dates with lots of women was ruining my life.
Why? What's wrong with playing the field?
It's not necessarily a bad thing to date women you don't intend to marry, particularly if you're in high school or college, because you're in your own lane of self I discovery about what you find attractive and desirable in a partner, and what you're turnoffs are. This ultimately leads to building your own character when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships, and attracting the person you want to have a long-term relationship with.
@@728huey Man, look at the results of this kind of mentality. Almost everybody is single nowadays. They are all "exploring their options". STD's, trauma, murder, etc. Do you really thing that it's worth?
@@amers4239 Are you really expecting to meet the love of your life while in high school or college? That's nearly as delusional these days as women expecting to date a six foot man making six figures right out of college or expecting to work at the same job for 40 years. When you're that young, you don't have a whole lot of life experience, and the only way to grow and determine your ultimate values is by going through experiences whether they be dating, jobs, money, etc. I'm a little disturbed by the negative attitudes about dating because somebody had a bad experience or ugly breakup. It sucks big time, but these things happen. You have to step back and learn from these experiences so you do better in the future.
Good quote. My favorite Elliot Hulse quote is “AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!” While he practices bioenergetics