Courtney, I would advise you look at the latest Pew Research Data that's come out in the past couple of weeks. It states that over 60% Of Men under 30 are single compared to 34% Of Women who are single. You'd find it extremely interesting. Several articles can be found on the New York Post, The Hill, Psychology Today and so on.
Confession. I geeked out a little when you mentioned Tiege Hanley. I’ve been using them for a while now. I love their skin care products. I swear by them.
1. You control how you respond and react 0:30 2. First impressions are important 1:10 3. Health is wealth 3:28 4. Sometimes the problem is you 4:02 5. Actions speak louder than words 5:02 6. The saver is sexier than the spender 6:00 7. Not everyone is going to like you 8:02 8. You can't change your height 9:00 9. Time is your most valuable asset 10:55
Courtney thank you for your content. I share it with my little brother who’s struggled after we lost our dad. Dad died from cancer complications and it’s been tough for mom to help him succeed romantically since dad passed at an age my brother is starting to want to love a woman. My dad left my brother a mini manual of sorts since he had been feeling sick for a while and all of your comments here were his highlights. He even did my brother’s color analysis and left him a skincare routine. He left him his barber and also numbers for his tailor and the local men’s suit warehouse to teach him how to dress. It was awesome as my brother thought this was something only “girls” did. It has made a massive difference. He also taught my brother to go to the doctor’s yearly for a physical, go to the urologist yearly as well as the dermatologist yearly. I keep saying it’s a mini book when it’s a massive binder full of jewels for him to use until he’s old enough himself. He’s 18 and he’s found himself a really sweet girlfriend and genuinely so happy. For the women in here Courtney’s content also works for women. Basically be kind to your lovers.
The sad truth of reality is, men are a disposable resource. You're only as valuable as what you bring to society. You take teen suicides, most are young men. The media will almost completely ignore it, but cover cases about a teenage girl getting bullied and committing suicided. You look at gender specific medical funding, women's health issues get way more funding. It is just a natural reaction of society to feel sympathy for women, and get repulsed by men who aren't helping themselves. Whether you thrive or dive as a man, society wont be extending a hand to you. As a man, you're the one who solves the problems for others and extends the hand to others. If you're waiting for the hand to be extended to you, you're going to be waiting for the rest of your life.
You have such a pleasant way of speaking and such a calm demeanour, Courtney. You come across as a very kind sister who is giving advice to her brother and none of it comes across as mean or condescending. Nice one!
Kind words like yours make civility live and thrive, rather than die. It also demonstrates your positive energies and ambition to keep the greater good alive in this world. Thank you for being here with us!
And she has such a smooth delivery. Her intelligence and non threatening content and the delivery make her incredibly sexy. Wow Yes she looks incredible and sexy. Her whole package is just A++++ Lucky boyfriend. Lol
It's easy for bitches and motherfuckers that are attractive to talk like everything's good and speech stevwyatvyou have because they have something but if you were me ugly unattractive and the evidence is no girlfriends ever in fact women go as far with as to say I'm doing fucked up shit that I wouldn't do like stalking someone and other things that would be considered creepy. And I'm not doing any of that shit
She reminded me how creepy and ugly I must be because no girls ever liked me and they see me as a creepy and ugly but I'm not doing shit that s creep would certainly no not on purpose and if I was or appeared to be I would anything to change that if she vvould
Fascistic quote, I'll probably use it myself lol. In abstract it's totally true, but in reality that's easily undermined by nihilism. There are sick people that just want to go out with a bang, they'd sooner wish for a million dollars and some sex & drugs for a little bit rather than health to live longer. It's a part of the human condition, and sometimes it gets really ugly But again, I'm stealing this quote tho 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Two stories about hygiene: First, I will never forget the moment that I became so conscious of my hygiene. I was in third grade at recess with my friends. We somehow were talking about washing hands and brushing teeth. I said that I didn't do those things because I thought they were a waste of time. Please keep in mind that I was 7 and I promise that I have improved. My friends simply told me that it was really gross and that was the reality check that I needed. I immediately excused myself to the bathroom just to wash my hands. I to this day sometimes excuse myself just to wash my hands and I wash all parts of me religiously. Second, I was on a date with a girl a few years ago. She randomly asked me "Do you wash your face?" I was taken aback by this question. I did wash my face every morning and oftentimes before I go to bed as well. I told her that I did and I wanted to know why she felt the need to ask. She told me that I wouldn't believe how often guys don't wash their faces. I to this day do not believe it. It shocks me that you received a huge backlash just from saying that guys should wash themselves, Courtney. Guys complain these days about women's standards being too high, not being tall enough, making enough money, and not being fit. Yet, these are the guys who likely can't even bring themselves to shower properly. We all need to get our acts together.
It’s got to be a generational thing, or toxic social media behavior. I’m a man who has valued good personal hygiene since I was a child. I was an 80s kid who grew up into adulthood in the late 90s, so I don’t know how the young’uns are like now. My guess is that the ones who complain about good personal hygiene are the same ones who are too lazy to bathe for the good society and dates.
men love to whine about the attacks on masculinity. The attacks on masculinity are real. for example: suggesting that its to much for a grown man to have basic hygiene practices
I agree with all of these, essential. The first impression thing cannot be overstated. The way you carry yourself is huge but the hygiene and grooming is as equally important. It's not about dressing to the 9's. I'm a delivery driver, so I'm in a less than flattering chocolate brown polyester uniform all day interacting with 100's of people daily, so while I can't control or impress with my attire, I'm adamant about being clean, sharp and groomed hair and beard, clean hands and trimmed and filed nails. Even though my job is potentially dirty, keeping the clothes as clean and wear free as possible, know when to toss them. People do notice, and if you are doing it right, they will let you know you are. Always a confidence booster.
Same line of work as you, and my attitude about it is the same. I go a step further now too in that as soon as I'm off work, and I'm out and about I immediately switch to business casual to business formal attire. I get lots of compliments from men and women alike, and I get treated differently at least in my opinion. It's crazy how stark the contrast is.
Great video, Courtney. I am terrible at managing my time. I recently retired, and want to make myself more productive, but I waste an incredible amount doing unproductive things. Your talk was a revelation to me. My dad used to say, "Lost time is never found." Thank you.
Thanks Courtney for presenting your brutal truths! I got married in 2019. My wife took advantage of me and chose her friends over me! I loved her and cared for her the best that I knew how!! It was super challenging because she was my FIRST. I’ve forgiven her for the psychological pain that she put me through!! I still care about her as a person and hope she finds herself:) Of course I would never take her back!! I continue to watch your content in the hope that I never make a mistake with choosing the wrong woman again! I appreciate your sincere and fair honesty!
I thought these would be a lot more brutal than they ended up being, but they're still very necessary to living a good life. A very brutal truth that no one wants to hear us that nobody truly cares about your problems, even if they seem like they do because most people are more focused on their own issues 99.9% of the time. The bright side to this is that most people aren't thinking about you so if you make mistakes nobody will really care all that much because they're too consumed by their own lives to really pay that much attention to you.
The brutal truth is that IF someone actually do care about you - It is 99% because they want to abuse you and/or make money from you. Just like online "advisers" such as Courtney is doing. ;)
Very very true. I remember my cousin way back 20 years ago say " Well I guess you heard I'm getting a divorce. " I said I had not. She assumed that everybody kept up on her life. Yes word travels. But, 6 months had gone by. I think a lot of people are too worried about what people might think if they do this or that. It's crazy. Our culture has influenced too many with that attitude. Good point. Live your life. No Shame. No apologies . No worry. Get busy living or get busy dying. Lol (Shawshank)
You truly are “The Big Sis of UA-cam!” And I am so glad I found this channel! Your content is honest, to the point and paired with a lot of common sense or wholesome advice! Keep up the great work! 🙌🏽
Wishing you a happy Sunday, Courtney 😘! In general, we have to live the best life to live is to be the best version of you. Also, care for the people you care for
I used to work with a man who was barely 5'0" in height. (He used it to his advantage, because he could fit in places other people couldn't to get something done.) He had a wife who was about 5'1" and very devoted to him. Back with I was an undergrad in college, there was a girl I liked, and I made considerable effort to try to get to know her. One time I was eating a meal in the cafeteria with a floormate, and I excused myself to go and sit at her table (with a couple other people who were already there). My floormate watched, and when I got back to the dormitory, he plainly told me "she doesn't like you--she doesn't even LOOK at you!" and I gradually came to accept that he was right.
@@neburarerreh4958 They aren't--I simply didn't want to 'pester' people by posting two comments. Would it have been better to have done that? (I'm serious--I'm not trying to be sarcastic.) If so, I'll split them up in the future.
@@bobjacobson858 Oh no, don't worry. I just assumed both paragraph would be related to the height problem, but instead they were two separate anecdotes. Just leave be. My bad xddd
At least you had the courage to go over to her and try. In high school I remember a couple of girls who did like me but I was so shy and withdrawn. It wasn’t until years after I graduated that I started to get to courage to talk to girls. Unfortunately, I never had much luck then and even now.
Evaluating and taking responsibility for my character/attitude is one of the best things I’ve done. I used to be prideful, impulsive, and selfish. I checked myself and this allowed me to set healthy boundaries and discern women more efficiently. This content is 💯 Btw, you look great Courtney and Thank you!
I found this channel like a month ago. Honestly I was so disenchanted with dating I wouldn’t have ever even searched for a channel like hers. Now, this woman has actually given me a lot of hope. It’s like I have a better idea of what kind of woman to search for, and the rest can all go deal with their own issues.
Great list, Courtney. Thanks. I started a skin care routine a couple months ago and I’ve been liking the results. Side note regarding savers vs spenders: I see your point. However, for myself, I’m in my early 50’s and spent my life saving and working and not really enjoying my life. Since I’ve realized recently I don’t have enough saved to retire, I have decided to spent some of my retirement funds to go out and travel and experience more of life. I’ve also had some good friends die recently. That really helped me change my mindset about saving vs spending. The money I’ve saved does nothing for me once if I die. Not saying to spend all of it. There should be a balance. Save money, but don’t JUST save money. Spend some to enjoy your life while you have it. My two cents.
exactly. i was saving through out my twenties and my brother told me i should enjoy some mof my money, iv since owned 25 or so new motorcycles, trading a couple a year or so. its cost me a bit of money from my mortgage but i wouldnt change a thing. there is a line in blade runner. "the candle that burns twice as fast burns twice as bright"
1:15 that's actually mad fax, as someone who's autistic I was a weird kid back when i was 12 and in high school when I made a first impression i didn't get good judgement and as I matured and changed by the end of high school, people still didn't give me a chance to build friendship because of my first expression. Message to anyone about to go to a new environment whether it be school or work is deffo make your first days good so people will judge you better so you wont have to face misery for the rest of it
I wish I could take some of this advice. As an autistic person, I have to get people to like me enough to not want to hurt me, change me and/or take advantage of me. I’m not exaggerating when I say that my life quite literally depends on me being able to put on a facade. How am I supposed to love myself and accept myself for who I am when the only way I can safely be true to myself is by making everyone else is too scared to do the same? I know it’s not me because almost all of my problems with people only happen after they know. A lot of them completely change and either see me as a freak and hate me, see me as someone who’s easy to take advantage of, or they see me as someone who’s too weak and stupid to survive
social media makes it so easy to chase people who don't care, once i stopped doing this I found I had much more time to focus on myself and begin improving.
Most men knows the brutal truths already and the easiest life for a man are to stay single. To focus on your own purpose and financial future and staying healthy are difficult as it is. Specially now a days.
There is 2 way to look up. If you was dating girls and they broke you you are alone and want back and you are in depresion, but if you are single for realy long time you do not want to change why should you? You can do everydayli task alone so why chase someone who you must show that you are worthy. In the end in you can live alone happy live dating is just burden to you. This is my case i do not tell it is for everyone.
You're an incredibly eloquent speaker. Definitely something I've noticed in all of your videos; i.e. no um's or uhhh's. It's all very fluent. Thought I should mention it! Great info!
You really made me laugh with "guys, you're tough...but you are NOT tougher than the sun!!" Appreciated the "you can control how you react to things..." and for us to focus on what we can change. I'm already doing that, but BIG thanks for admonishing us to manage our time better. Don't know of too many that have mastered that.
Great video! I think everyone gets so wrapped up in playing games to try and find a relationship that they forget about these points, which are common sense and effective.
I really hope many people would watch your videos more. Though I am from a South Pacific Island. I have friends in the USA that are losing it every day. Not my problem but a brother is a brother. Appreciate your work Ma'am.
I shave daily, wear cologne, and use bodywash and deodorant. I also ignore negativity, and I work out to get my anger out, and I love hearing that first impressions are important. I need a sister figure in my life! 😊
You mean you need a chick wingman? That’s what I’m getting from that comment, chances are you don’t. Take some risks and know that rejection is a part of life. Roll with it.
@@pumpupthevolume4775 all y’all’s insecurities are showing lmao there’s nothing wrong with what this guy is doing. He’s taking better care of himself than either of you
Your point about the usage of time is particularly well made. It is an asset that we can take for granted and abuse in our youth, but it once it's gone, it cannot be recovered. There are no do-overs.
Great points. 👍 I'd add that chasing a woman is akined to closing your hand and squeezing tightly to hold on the sand, which will trickle fast through your fingers. So, *never* chase.
My problem has never been finding women, its the women themselves I have issue with. Entitled, lazy, demanding, vile, rude, unhealed, refuse to reciprocate..
In today's many psychological (and mystic?) theories, many psychologists preach that we attract what we are or have hidden inside, and we bond without being conscious with people who press the buttons of traumas we already carry. I meditated a lot on these perspectives and they are mostly true. Just dive deep into yourself, educate yourself in psychology continuously and you will find why you are seeing the reality like you are describing it. In other words, we/you mostly meet people who confirm our prejudices/points of view. "Changing the way you look at things makes things you look at change" *Wayne Dyre, from Lao Tzu
Naw it s women wanting to buck up chest to breast in the west.Get the Porsche luxury car you be working on the next thing and have your choice of what you desire as a man.your going to be disappointed if you don't have a bankroll. Look have a home a regular exercise routine a nice car luxury for yourself you will be likeable
One of the best sayings I've heard that's been a big reminder to get things done. "A man does what he needs to before he can do what he wants to." What are the big need to get done tasks and what the things that you just want to do? For example, I need to get household chores done. I want to watch another UA-cam video. I'm not perfect when it comes to abiding by this, but it's a helpful reminder at least.
The height thing is product of social media. I'm 41, 5'8 and had a lot of women in my 20's, including quite a few that were taller than me. It wasn't until social media came along that the issue of height was a thing. I also don't think height worshipping can lead to anything good, especially when it's something men have no control over.
Courtney, you are my fresh breathe of common sense! Thank you for confirming a lot of my thoughts. A lot of your advises and insights are helping me to stay on track of "doing my thing" in life.
The height obsession is bizarre to me. My husband is the same height as I am - 5’8”. I was married previously to a man over 6’ who was a disaster in so many ways, not the least of which was infidelity. My husband now is everything I wanted and my life is very good. So what if I am taller than he is when I wear heels. I could not possibly care less. I’m telling you, ladies - you are making an enormous mistake with the height requirement. But I guess that leaves more good men like my husband for the women out there who really know what characteristics to prioritize in a man.
@@somethingelse9535 I learned my lesson about prioritizing all the wrong things, including yes, height, and I paid a huge price for it. That is why I am here. I hope at least a few women might listen to what I am saying.
You are SOOO Right about first impressions. After talking online via private messages with this woman for several months who I fell in love with, we finally were going to have our first video chat. The chat went well - or so I thought - until she told me several months later how disappointed she was at how very little effort I put into my appearance. My hair wasn't combed, I had on an old t-shirt, and sweatpants, had dirty dishes in the background, while her bedroom was all made up, she was nicely dressed, had makeup on, etc; and what's even worse is I was the one who wanted her to like me (more than as a friend, which she knew how I felt ) I obviously had an old fashioned narcissistic thought process of "If she likes me she will/should like me regardless of my appearance." Bottom line - I sabotaged myself plain and simple. The old saying that you never get a second chance to make a first impression was never more true. It may seem like a minor thing, but it definitely is not.
Men don't use soap in the shower? As a man myself, in all my life I've never encountered any man or multiple men who didn't bathe with soap. Is this really common? It can't be.
If anything most of what was described is accurate but at the same time nobody is perfect. Life is often not fair either; but that is the world we live in... and it cab be very frustrating but really... what is a person supposed to do... well anyway, one should never do anything just for the sake of it - but to do it because it's right for you - in this sense, I think personal development and self improvement is overrated because most of the things we do in our daily lives are arbitrary and trivial. And I can't deny that what we consume (whether it would be food, social media, advertisements, just about anything really) will determine who you want to become because in order to be at peace with your surroundings and other individuals; you have to be at peace with yourself and set the bar to a reasonable level without feeling the need to live your life in fear or people please.
SO true, guys! "You control how you respond and react" - This applies to life in general, not just dating. I can't tell you how many times I've heard things like "She makes me so angry!" or "He made me do this, he made me do that!" The only one who controls your emotions is YOU, so recognize that and use it. You may feel how you feel, but you can channel those feelings into constructive actions, and if you don't know how to do that, a good therapist can help. "You can't change your height" - And the good news is that you really don't have to try. Like Courtney indicated, learn to live in your own skin and work on your confidence, which is something you can change. From the time I started working on those things, I had no shortage of attention from the women, even the ones who were taller than I was. I was never what anyone would call a chick magnet, but I was only as lonesome as I wanted to be. If anything, I'd say my height and no-better-than-average looks made it easy for me to bypass the shallow girls who just wanted trophy men. (Think tall, handsome and rich but no substance. Not much different from a trophy wife.) It also helps to stop ignoring all the women who don't look like [insert supermodel name here]. Just as you have more to offer than height, women have more to offer than appearance.
One of the real reasons why I'm depressed and anxious all the time is because the problem is me. It has always been me. Nothing I ever say or do is right! Even when I exercise and whatnot, I'm still messed up in the head.
Try constantly keeping yourself distracted. But good habits e.g exercise with other people like a fitness class or sport, cleaning, reading, cooking/meal prep, planning your day. If you give your time purpose. Just get off your butt and DO IT! Motion creates motion. Good luck. 🙂
I only feel the same way you do because too many people over too many decades drilled into my head that literally everything in existence that's bad and negative, including natural disasters, are my fault, and that this is just me as a person. Even when it's someone else's fault, even when literally nothing happened at all, even when it was an accident or a misunderstanding, I'm blamed. And I'm blamed as if I'm just going around making a point to be as bad a person as I possibly can. I've gotten that from strangers, classmates, what should have been potential employers, teachers, even family, whatever their age. All I can say to that is, just remember that what people dished out to you (your depression and anxiety from feeling like you can't do or say anything right), that's coming back around to the people who drilled it into your head. Sooner or later. One day, they will get what they gave you. I don't feel depressed or anxious, but as someone who knows how you feel in general (in me, it became a constant anger that I cannot shake off, which keeps me from being able to be happy), you got this. Some way, some how, you'll find a way to be right and show those people. Then they'll be embarrassed. Some day, they will feel what you feel.
I truth the most brutal truth (single) guys need to learn is the negative correlation between visibly stressing your romantic encounters and success in your dating life. I think this is a sister point to the scarcity mindset, but it's a different point to make because women want to see men confident and in control. And even more importantly, if a woman sees you losing yourself of your interactions, then it'll definitely make her less comfortable -- which is the last thing you want in the presence of romantic interest. Then the second most brutal truth I think guys need to accept is that not at all women be consistent with their interests in men. And no, it's not all due to looks! For example, just because a woman says she values a man's thoughtfulness and kindness doesn't mean she'll like you for being kind. It often will have to go hand-in-hand with other qualities you have. It's all a part of the package we present to potential partners, so don't get mad if you're "nice" but don't get the interest of the woman you like. Maybe you need to just work on better illustrating those other qualities you have.
TikTok is the biggest time suck. I spent 4 hours once as well and deleted it off my phone. My new plan is to have a separate device just for social media. But then I also have to be careful about not filling in that time with TV/video games
Brutal? Yes. Honest? Even more so. Improving ourselves is the only thing we can control. Everything else is just background noise. Once again Courtney, as usual, you provide an intelligent, practical perspective how to live an aware, mindful and healthy life. You are a supreme shining light in an era of cloudy social media comparison. Keep your content rolling please. Your wisdom and demeanor speak wise beyond your years.
There has to be a benefit to 'improving' yourself. The problem right now is guys are being told to do this but then get nothing from it. Whats the fucking point
@@ohjay7612 Agreed. I'm sick of people saying "oh you have to improve yourself! That's all you can do!" When there are dudes who are 30+, have good money, are physically fit, have worked on themselves socially and still see no results.
@@markishbasedgod5251 100%, and let's be clear what we mean by results cause I feel like they beat around the bush. We mean WOMEN. The problem for a lot of men right now is loneliness for women. The reality is that is why guys want to improve, and if you're still going to be alone why bother
@@ohjay7612 Yep. I'm pretty happy with where I've gotten in life, just women seem to not be happy with it at all, which means I can't build a family which is what I did all of this for, making everything pointless. I mean she keeps saying "well if no woman wants to date you it's probably you"... well sure I've accepted that fact, but what if working on myself for the past 10 plus years doesn't help and I'm in a pretty good spot regardless... I mean is it REALLY still all men? If 99% of men have the same issue is it really us... or?
@@markishbasedgod5251 THANK YOU. I feel like they pretend men like you(and me) dont exist. They create this image of men who dont even shower(like seriously how many people are actually that way) and ignore the guys who have done all the things you're expected and there's still no women interested. Well, at that point something else is wrong. Stop driving completely normal men insane and saying the problem is us. Women are not reasonable right now. And yes, that is the ONLY reason to be self improving. If men want money, we know how to get a job. The entire problem right now is wtf does it take to get anywhere with women.
I struggled with time to do things. I caught myself one day spending time on TV shows rather than reading a book. So I tried to implement one thing Jocko said once, discipline. This is key here to manage this problem when you are disciplined you can do everything you want to do.
Good morning! I used to use Alpha's product. Love his channel. As I love your's. I was super happy with the results. I needed to switch to a different product because this product made my eyes burn like crazy. But I have sensitive eyes (long story). But your point is indeed well made. I started at age 50 (soon to be 56) and REALLY wish that I would have started a decade sooner. Good for you on the sponsorship.
Courtney, I cried watching this because I know there is a lot wrong with me. Social Anxiety and lack of self confidence and I only want to meet people and socialize and even find a nice girl to be with but I'm 27 with no friends and lost some in the military. I'm gonna start working out but I have Philiphobia, it's a fear of being alone or fear of never finding love. Its a real physiological condition.
Gonna call bs on this. You really sound like you’re begging for a pity party. The only way you’re going to grow is if you feel enough pain to take action. You’re experiencing anxiety? Maybe it’s not enough anxiety. Start taking responsibility for everything in your life and stop being weak. At the age of 27 you deserve all the suffering that you bring upon yourself.
@@joseguardado565 today's military is a wokefest. It was always a head game. Now its extra head game if you want to keep your head down and not take fire for values.
@@dobermanownerforlife3902 It is, but it still have structure in it. I also strongly suspect that there are not many "wokes" on the inside. Most of them won't be able to addapt to the preassure.
I'm 6'2" (6'3" with shoes on), but most women aren't really asking for a guy over 6 feet. They just want someone TALLER THAN THEM 85-90% of the time. That 6 feet and over thing is mainly a social media thing. You just gotta put yourself out there more. That's all it boils down to.
From experience, women 5'2" and under go exclusively for men OVER 8" taller than them, much more so than a woman 5'6" who is open to dating someone closer to their height. It's almost as if the under 5'2" woman is doing it out of spite because of her own feelings of inferiority. Especially so for women of child bearing age.
The real brutal truth is nothing you say or do matters. It's all like point #8. Either your person exists or they don't. There's nothing you can say or do to change that. The only thing that might matter is trying to find them, but the odds of that are far worse than finding a needle in a haystack.
Yep. But Courtney believes it likely. My girlfriend no matter what I say she uses all kinds of lotions and she believes it's gotta help. Ok. Maybe dry skin stuff. It starts with a good diet and cutting out the bad crap foods that are poison. Your skin is an organ. Nourish within with the right stuff . Real food. Not fake food. Hydrate. Exercise. Rinse and spin again.
On dating: don't. Dating is a waste of your resources. Dating stunts your growth. Dating lowers your value. Dating is you giving yourself away for free. Dating is parasitic. Dating isn't closing. Marriage is closing. Value yourself. Invest in experiences that peak YOUR interest, and that encourage your personal development. Your relationship opportunities, both volume and quality, will continually increase. Gentleman, salute to you.
Yeah I can't remember which podcast I heard it on but there are a lot of nurses that say when GenZ guys are taking him to the emergency room it is highly likely they will find tracks in their underwear. Apparently pulling your cheeks part, wiping, and even scrubbing is not something they think is normal.
@@1981lashlarue good hygiene for the most part is good but why the rear end unless ur getting it eaten by ur girl which is kinda questionable there no point for a guy to be worried about back there
I used to have that mentality about my height, where I thought I would never find a girlfriend because I’m so short. Now I have a girlfriend and have lost that mindset since she likes me for more than just my height/looks. I just want to take a moment to thank you @CourtneyRyan for all your videos. You have helped me become the man I am today which helped me get the girl of my dreams!
Yes and no. There are many women whose love is temporary but do not miss out on a good woman who'll enrich your life for decades to come because of this mindset. Both men and women need to be very very strict in vetting relationship partners.
The height one always makes me laugh, when did that become a thing ? Most of them girls who require that are under 5’5, me being a joker whenever I hear about height requirements in dating I have two responses to that help cheer up friends and coworkers, 1 if she says she only dates 6’0 and up but is under 5’5 just say “sorry but you gotta be this tall for your opinion to matter. 2 if she says she only dates 6’0 and up but is under 5’5, I’m guessing she never had man in her life she could look up to 😆
You have great content Courtney and you are great at discussing it. You didn't mention sleep. We all need sleep. "You cannot make up for lost sleep". Dr James A Cory said this on his radio show everyday. Took a while for it to sink in for me but the cells in your body need that sleep to stay healthy.
You have a good head on your shoulders Courtney. I've been following you for about a year and have seen all your videos. Keep them coming. You have yet another fan here. Blessings all the way from NYC.
I haven't started the video yet. I have no idea what to expect, but I've been single for many, many years and I see that in the near future, and I am and have been VERY happy with it. Now I watch the video to see if I'm fed something I 'should want' like young me when relatives and society try force-upon their ways of living (or at least the way they want me to live, I should say(which is even more fk'd up)) or if it's just general advice in the video such as stay healthy, have a good attitude, mental health is important, etc.
Just keep working on yourself and things come together eventually. Challenges will always be there it's how we look at them and respond is what makes the difference. Also gotta be aware of the people around you. Don't settle because you are alone. Treat everyone with the respect they deserve and within healthy values/boundaries and you will be fine. Focus on yourself and let the world decide what they want about you. You have no control over it. Enjoy life and stay level headed at the same time. Don't try to find romance let it find you.
I was born with a skinn disease, it effected my whole body. It was gone when I was 3 years old and it came back with my puberty. Further I struggle because my brain developed earlier but my boddy developed later than regular. In the age of 25 I was still forced to show my identification card to proof my age. Anyway I am now almost 50, my experience with women is full of "brutal truth".
i have some skin condiction that are very bad too. All her praised skin products would make me look like a lobster. have have stuff from my doc but it is expensive and the routine is very disgusting. to make it short . i can only bath once a week or my skin will be so fing dry that it peals himself and the same i have with my head. dandrufs from hell. on a good day my shoulders are white like snow after a few hours and if i wash it more than once a week the hair looks like i hav not wash it in a year. rest of the week i can only use a wet towel without soap to get away sweat and stuff. The bad part is than woman i work with ask why i do not make my hair with spray and stuff and i answer truhtfull and the than look in disbelief or disgust.
Here's one you missed, "Understand all your efforts can yield no results. There are no guarantees. Yes you can better the odds, but nothing guarantees success."
I don't like being tall I wish I was short many people don't know this but when your Taller you have a harder time bending down and or your bones being heavy
I so agree with the 1st one. I believe it was from a Japanese philosopher but it has been said the ONLY thing you have absolute control over is certainly not your finances nor your health. BUT how you treat others. Simply thought about it seems so true. ABSOLUTE CONTROL remember that. Courtney thank you. You are so easy to listen to.
4:55 Brutal truth indeed. I confessed my feelings to every lady I met when I was young and none of them want me. I am 26 now and at this point I don't give a damn anymore since I am definitely the problem
Mental health. You've got to keep your mind healthy as much as your physical health. Get help if you need it. Don't force yourself to accept despair in a vain display of pride. Look after yourself, it's not selfish to be happy. If special people in your life are becoming concerned, don't act like it's not a problem. Don't have destructive outlets for your problems. If you can't be happy with yourself, you'll never make anyone else happy either. Don't put your mental well being on the back burner. Take care of yourself, folks.
I think about this a lot. It’s a quote from the movie “Cool Runnings” it goes like this. “… A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.” That truth applies to everything in life. Be it a nice car, designer clothes, or a relationship. Whatever it is- unless it’s one of the basic needs, being air, water, food, shelter, etc.- if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.
Get 30% off your first box, plus a FREE gift, when you give Tiege Hanley a try at tiege.com/crtruths
Courtney, I would advise you look at the latest Pew Research Data that's come out in the past couple of weeks. It states that over 60% Of Men under 30 are single compared to 34% Of Women who are single. You'd find it extremely interesting. Several articles can be found on the New York Post, The Hill, Psychology Today and so on.
Hey Courtney, can you put time stamps in your future list videos?
Thanks boss💖
Confession. I geeked out a little when you mentioned Tiege Hanley. I’ve been using them for a while now. I love their skin care products. I swear by them.
Your self-awareness is uncommon among women when it comes to dating advice.
1. You control how you respond and react 0:30
2. First impressions are important 1:10
3. Health is wealth 3:28
4. Sometimes the problem is you 4:02
5. Actions speak louder than words 5:02
6. The saver is sexier than the spender 6:00
7. Not everyone is going to like you 8:02
8. You can't change your height 9:00
9. Time is your most valuable asset 10:55
yup
You just save me 14 minutes of my life. Most men learned this information in the 4th grade.
Thanks
No need to watch now thank you 😂
Thnx you save my time
Courtney thank you for your content. I share it with my little brother who’s struggled after we lost our dad. Dad died from cancer complications and it’s been tough for mom to help him succeed romantically since dad passed at an age my brother is starting to want to love a woman. My dad left my brother a mini manual of sorts since he had been feeling sick for a while and all of your comments here were his highlights. He even did my brother’s color analysis and left him a skincare routine. He left him his barber and also numbers for his tailor and the local men’s suit warehouse to teach him how to dress. It was awesome as my brother thought this was something only “girls” did. It has made a massive difference. He also taught my brother to go to the doctor’s yearly for a physical, go to the urologist yearly as well as the dermatologist yearly. I keep saying it’s a mini book when it’s a massive binder full of jewels for him to use until he’s old enough himself. He’s 18 and he’s found himself a really sweet girlfriend and genuinely so happy.
For the women in here Courtney’s content also works for women. Basically be kind to your lovers.
Nobody is going to save you, the only person that’s going to save you is you.
Definitely this. Also the world does not care about mens suffering.
Nobody is going to save a man. But yes I agree.
You can't even save yourself. Only Jesus can save you. Christ Jesus came into the world to SAVE sinners
The sad truth of reality is, men are a disposable resource. You're only as valuable as what you bring to society. You take teen suicides, most are young men. The media will almost completely ignore it, but cover cases about a teenage girl getting bullied and committing suicided. You look at gender specific medical funding, women's health issues get way more funding. It is just a natural reaction of society to feel sympathy for women, and get repulsed by men who aren't helping themselves. Whether you thrive or dive as a man, society wont be extending a hand to you.
As a man, you're the one who solves the problems for others and extends the hand to others. If you're waiting for the hand to be extended to you, you're going to be waiting for the rest of your life.
Cool but it's just not really worth it
You have such a pleasant way of speaking and such a calm demeanour, Courtney. You come across as a very kind sister who is giving advice to her brother and none of it comes across as mean or condescending. Nice one!
Kind words like yours make civility live and thrive, rather than die. It also demonstrates your positive energies and ambition to keep the greater good alive in this world. Thank you for being here with us!
And she has such a smooth delivery. Her intelligence and non threatening content and the delivery make her incredibly sexy. Wow
Yes she looks incredible and sexy. Her whole package is just A++++
Lucky boyfriend. Lol
It's easy for bitches and motherfuckers that are attractive to talk like everything's good and speech stevwyatvyou have because they have something but if you were me ugly unattractive and the evidence is no girlfriends ever in fact women go as far with as to say I'm doing fucked up shit that I wouldn't do like stalking someone and other things that would be considered creepy. And I'm not doing any of that shit
She reminded me how creepy and ugly I must be because no girls ever liked me and they see me as a creepy and ugly but I'm not doing shit that s creep would certainly no not on purpose and if I was or appeared to be I would anything to change that if she vvould
What if she were ugly? Would we feel the same about her? Would we even listen to her?
_"A well man has a thousand wishes, a sick man only has one."_
👏👏
Fascistic quote, I'll probably use it myself lol. In abstract it's totally true, but in reality that's easily undermined by nihilism. There are sick people that just want to go out with a bang, they'd sooner wish for a million dollars and some sex & drugs for a little bit rather than health to live longer. It's a part of the human condition, and sometimes it gets really ugly
But again, I'm stealing this quote tho 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@PaperRaines o.o
Ok then im sick
@@PaperRaines exceptions do not make the rule
@@shahee6579 and you never read me write that they do
Two stories about hygiene:
First, I will never forget the moment that I became so conscious of my hygiene. I was in third grade at recess with my friends. We somehow were talking about washing hands and brushing teeth. I said that I didn't do those things because I thought they were a waste of time. Please keep in mind that I was 7 and I promise that I have improved. My friends simply told me that it was really gross and that was the reality check that I needed. I immediately excused myself to the bathroom just to wash my hands. I to this day sometimes excuse myself just to wash my hands and I wash all parts of me religiously.
Second, I was on a date with a girl a few years ago. She randomly asked me "Do you wash your face?" I was taken aback by this question. I did wash my face every morning and oftentimes before I go to bed as well. I told her that I did and I wanted to know why she felt the need to ask. She told me that I wouldn't believe how often guys don't wash their faces. I to this day do not believe it.
It shocks me that you received a huge backlash just from saying that guys should wash themselves, Courtney. Guys complain these days about women's standards being too high, not being tall enough, making enough money, and not being fit. Yet, these are the guys who likely can't even bring themselves to shower properly. We all need to get our acts together.
It’s got to be a generational thing, or toxic social media behavior. I’m a man who has valued good personal hygiene since I was a child. I was an 80s kid who grew up into adulthood in the late 90s, so I don’t know how the young’uns are like now. My guess is that the ones who complain about good personal hygiene are the same ones who are too lazy to bathe for the good society and dates.
Washing more often than in the shower typically makes me break out so idk why that's a deal
How can you shower without washing your face?
men love to whine about the attacks on masculinity. The attacks on masculinity are real. for example: suggesting that its to much for a grown man to have basic hygiene practices
@@caralho5237 i think he means scrub with soap.
I agree with all of these, essential. The first impression thing cannot be overstated. The way you carry yourself is huge but the hygiene and grooming is as equally important. It's not about dressing to the 9's. I'm a delivery driver, so I'm in a less than flattering chocolate brown polyester uniform all day interacting with 100's of people daily, so while I can't control or impress with my attire, I'm adamant about being clean, sharp and groomed hair and beard, clean hands and trimmed and filed nails. Even though my job is potentially dirty, keeping the clothes as clean and wear free as possible, know when to toss them. People do notice, and if you are doing it right, they will let you know you are. Always a confidence booster.
Same line of work as you, and my attitude about it is the same. I go a step further now too in that as soon as I'm off work, and I'm out and about I immediately switch to business casual to business formal attire. I get lots of compliments from men and women alike, and I get treated differently at least in my opinion. It's crazy how stark the contrast is.
These apply to both sexes. I think women would find them more “brutal truths” than men. However, most women wouldn’t be able to accept it as truth.
I've watched a lot of your content, but this video is one that stands out. Well done.
Great video, Courtney. I am terrible at managing my time. I recently retired, and want to make myself more productive, but I waste an incredible amount doing unproductive things. Your talk was a revelation to me. My dad used to say, "Lost time is never found." Thank you.
Thanks Courtney for presenting your brutal truths! I got married in 2019. My wife took advantage of me and chose her friends over me! I loved her and cared for her the best that I knew how!! It was super challenging because she was my FIRST. I’ve forgiven her for the psychological pain that she put me through!! I still care about her as a person and hope she finds herself:) Of course I would never take her back!! I continue to watch your content in the hope that I never make a mistake with choosing the wrong woman again! I appreciate your sincere and fair honesty!
Brutal truth: they don’t love you, they love what you can do for them.
TRUTH 💣💣💣💣💣💣 BOMBS!!!! P.S. I took cover!!!!
And if once you cannot provide, they will leave you without any remorse.
@@MeidoInHebun 100 percent they will. Every single time
This one hurts a little too much. But it is so true.
If you don’t have a good job making good money a year you’re a lazy bum in her eyes.
Thank you for posting this video. Please do a second part when you get a chance.
I thought these would be a lot more brutal than they ended up being, but they're still very necessary to living a good life. A very brutal truth that no one wants to hear us that nobody truly cares about your problems, even if they seem like they do because most people are more focused on their own issues 99.9% of the time. The bright side to this is that most people aren't thinking about you so if you make mistakes nobody will really care all that much because they're too consumed by their own lives to really pay that much attention to you.
The brutal truth is that IF someone actually do care about you - It is 99% because they want to abuse you and/or make money from you. Just like online "advisers" such as Courtney is doing. ;)
Very very true.
I remember my cousin way back 20 years ago say
" Well I guess you heard I'm getting a divorce. "
I said I had not. She assumed that everybody kept up on her life. Yes word travels. But, 6 months had gone by. I think a lot of people are too worried about what people might think if they do this or that. It's crazy. Our culture has influenced too many with that attitude.
Good point.
Live your life. No Shame.
No apologies . No worry.
Get busy living or get busy dying. Lol (Shawshank)
Have you been living under a rock? The internet seems to care about shit people did 50 years ago and then force them to lose their job over it.
You truly are “The Big Sis of UA-cam!” And I am so glad I found this channel! Your content is honest, to the point and paired with a lot of common sense or wholesome advice!
Keep up the great work! 🙌🏽
Wishing you a happy Sunday, Courtney 😘! In general, we have to live the best life to live is to be the best version of you. Also, care for the people you care for
Happy Sunday John! Have a great week 🥰
I used to work with a man who was barely 5'0" in height. (He used it to his advantage, because he could fit in places other people couldn't to get something done.) He had a wife who was about 5'1" and very devoted to him.
Back with I was an undergrad in college, there was a girl I liked, and I made considerable effort to try to get to know her. One time I was eating a meal in the cafeteria with a floormate, and I excused myself to go and sit at her table (with a couple other people who were already there). My floormate watched, and when I got back to the dormitory, he plainly told me "she doesn't like you--she doesn't even LOOK at you!" and I gradually came to accept that he was right.
I mean... cool story bro, but... how is the first paragraph related to the second one? xddd
@@neburarerreh4958 They aren't--I simply didn't want to 'pester' people by posting two comments. Would it have been better to have done that? (I'm serious--I'm not trying to be sarcastic.) If so, I'll split them up in the future.
@@bobjacobson858 Oh no, don't worry. I just assumed both paragraph would be related to the height problem, but instead they were two separate anecdotes.
Just leave be. My bad xddd
@@neburarerreh4958 No worries! I guess a couple single posts wouldn't be an issue, but if there were a dozen there might be some 'resistance'!
At least you had the courage to go over to her and try. In high school I remember a couple of girls who did like me but I was so shy and withdrawn. It wasn’t until years after I graduated that I started to get to courage to talk to girls. Unfortunately, I never had much luck then and even now.
Evaluating and taking responsibility for my character/attitude is one of the best things I’ve done. I used to be prideful, impulsive, and selfish. I checked myself and this allowed me to set healthy boundaries and discern women more efficiently. This content is 💯 Btw, you look great Courtney and Thank you!
Once you understand how psychological Amina works that is the secret.
I agree with you sir!
Great advice. The underlying message is to accept reality and be proactive.
Learning how to respond and react to situations has changed my life. This is a great video. Thank You
I found this channel like a month ago. Honestly I was so disenchanted with dating I wouldn’t have ever even searched for a channel like hers. Now, this woman has actually given me a lot of hope. It’s like I have a better idea of what kind of woman to search for, and the rest can all go deal with their own issues.
Accountability and acceptance is key to being your best self 🙌.
Some nice home truths, Christine. Many thanks and appreciated.
Thankyou for making my life better big sister 😊 may you receive a lot of blessings
❤️🥰 you too my friend!
9:45 thank you so much for that 😭 that feels so fantastic to hear. Slowly making my peace for it
Great list, Courtney. Thanks. I started a skin care routine a couple months ago and I’ve been liking the results.
Side note regarding savers vs spenders: I see your point. However, for myself, I’m in my early 50’s and spent my life saving and working and not really enjoying my life. Since I’ve realized recently I don’t have enough saved to retire, I have decided to spent some of my retirement funds to go out and travel and experience more of life. I’ve also had some good friends die recently. That really helped me change my mindset about saving vs spending. The money I’ve saved does nothing for me once if I die. Not saying to spend all of it. There should be a balance. Save money, but don’t JUST save money. Spend some to enjoy your life while you have it. My two cents.
exactly. i was saving through out my twenties and my brother told me i should enjoy some mof my money, iv since owned 25 or so new motorcycles, trading a couple a year or so. its cost me a bit of money from my mortgage but i wouldnt change a thing. there is a line in blade runner. "the candle that burns twice as fast burns twice as bright"
1:15 that's actually mad fax, as someone who's autistic I was a weird kid back when i was 12 and in high school when I made a first impression i didn't get good judgement and as I matured and changed by the end of high school, people still didn't give me a chance to build friendship because of my first expression. Message to anyone about to go to a new environment whether it be school or work is deffo make your first days good so people will judge you better so you wont have to face misery for the rest of it
I wish I could take some of this advice. As an autistic person, I have to get people to like me enough to not want to hurt me, change me and/or take advantage of me. I’m not exaggerating when I say that my life quite literally depends on me being able to put on a facade.
How am I supposed to love myself and accept myself for who I am when the only way I can safely be true to myself is by making everyone else is too scared to do the same?
I know it’s not me because almost all of my problems with people only happen after they know. A lot of them completely change and either see me as a freak and hate me, see me as someone who’s easy to take advantage of, or they see me as someone who’s too weak and stupid to survive
social media makes it so easy to chase people who don't care, once i stopped doing this I found I had much more time to focus on myself and begin improving.
"brutal truths" is very on brand for Courtney. 👌
Thanks!
Most men knows the brutal truths already and the easiest life for a man are to stay single.
To focus on your own purpose and financial future and staying healthy are difficult as it is.
Specially now a days.
There is 2 way to look up. If you was dating girls and they broke you you are alone and want back and you are in depresion, but if you are single for realy long time you do not want to change why should you? You can do everydayli task alone so why chase someone who you must show that you are worthy. In the end in you can live alone happy live dating is just burden to you. This is my case i do not tell it is for everyone.
#1 is the most important piece of feedback for every aspect of life, not just finding love.
You're an incredibly eloquent speaker. Definitely something I've noticed in all of your videos; i.e. no um's or uhhh's. It's all very fluent. Thought I should mention it! Great info!
You really made me laugh with "guys, you're tough...but you are NOT tougher than the sun!!"
Appreciated the "you can control how you react to things..." and for us to focus on what we can change. I'm already doing that, but BIG thanks for admonishing us to manage our time better. Don't know of too many that have mastered that.
Thanks
Great video! I think everyone gets so wrapped up in playing games to try and find a relationship that they forget about these points, which are common sense and effective.
I really hope many people would watch your videos more. Though I am from a South Pacific Island. I have friends in the USA that are losing it every day. Not my problem but a brother is a brother. Appreciate your work Ma'am.
I shave daily, wear cologne, and use bodywash and deodorant. I also ignore negativity, and I work out to get my anger out, and I love hearing that first impressions are important. I need a sister figure in my life! 😊
You don't need a sister. You need to man up.
Are you sure your name is not Daniela?
You mean you need a chick wingman? That’s what I’m getting from that comment, chances are you don’t. Take some risks and know that rejection is a part of life. Roll with it.
@@pumpupthevolume4775 all y’all’s insecurities are showing lmao there’s nothing wrong with what this guy is doing. He’s taking better care of himself than either of you
@@thesaltymug - You don’t need a “sister figure” to take care of yourself. If you can’t manage on your own you aren’t an adult.
Tiege Hanley’s exfoliating scrub is so good I use that every single morning & my face looks clean & smooth as butter. highly recommend
I did a 10 year marriage term. Got screwed over once,. Divorce ,laws and courts just way to much to ever try it again. Single forever is great
MGTOW forever.
Your point about the usage of time is particularly well made. It is an asset that we can take for granted and abuse in our youth, but it once it's gone, it cannot be recovered. There are no do-overs.
Courtney's content is absolutely essential for all men!
👍 share 👍 the 👍 video 👍
Great points. 👍 I'd add that chasing a woman is akined to closing your hand and squeezing tightly to hold on the sand, which will trickle fast through your fingers. So, *never* chase.
My problem has never been finding women, its the women themselves I have issue with. Entitled, lazy, demanding, vile, rude, unhealed, refuse to reciprocate..
In today's many psychological (and mystic?) theories, many psychologists preach that we attract what we are or have hidden inside, and we bond without being conscious with people who press the buttons of traumas we already carry. I meditated a lot on these perspectives and they are mostly true. Just dive deep into yourself, educate yourself in psychology continuously and you will find why you are seeing the reality like you are describing it. In other words, we/you mostly meet people who confirm our prejudices/points of view. "Changing the way you look at things makes things you look at change" *Wayne Dyre, from Lao Tzu
Naw it s women wanting to buck up chest to breast in the west.Get the Porsche luxury car you be working on the next thing and have your choice of what you desire as a man.your going to be disappointed if you don't have a bankroll. Look have a home a regular exercise routine a nice car luxury for yourself you will be likeable
One of the best sayings I've heard that's been a big reminder to get things done. "A man does what he needs to before he can do what he wants to." What are the big need to get done tasks and what the things that you just want to do? For example, I need to get household chores done. I want to watch another UA-cam video. I'm not perfect when it comes to abiding by this, but it's a helpful reminder at least.
The height thing is product of social media. I'm 41, 5'8 and had a lot of women in my 20's, including quite a few that were taller than me. It wasn't until social media came along that the issue of height was a thing. I also don't think height worshipping can lead to anything good, especially when it's something men have no control over.
Courtney, you are my fresh breathe of common sense! Thank you for confirming a lot of my thoughts. A lot of your advises and insights are helping me to stay on track of "doing my thing" in life.
The height obsession is bizarre to me. My husband is the same height as I am - 5’8”. I was married previously to a man over 6’ who was a disaster in so many ways, not the least of which was infidelity. My husband now is everything I wanted and my life is very good. So what if I am taller than he is when I wear heels. I could not possibly care less. I’m telling you, ladies - you are making an enormous mistake with the height requirement. But I guess that leaves more good men like my husband for the women out there who really know what characteristics to prioritize in a man.
It’s a social media thing .
@@litedawg Nah, they always were turned on by tall long before the internet, even the op chose a tall first marriage.
Wonder if first was a gym rat as well...
@@wendellbabin6457 Worse than that - a musician
@@somethingelse9535 I learned my lesson about prioritizing all the wrong things, including yes, height, and I paid a huge price for it. That is why I am here. I hope at least a few women might listen to what I am saying.
That advice at 7:20, gratitude & appreciation is one of my 🔑s to happiness, & of course yoga. A positively charged clip 👌
Peace and kisses
Just took a half day anger management class. It was really helpful.
You are SOOO Right about first impressions. After talking online via private messages with this woman for several months who I fell in love with, we finally were going to have our first video chat. The chat went well - or so I thought - until she told me several months later how disappointed she was at how very little effort I put into my appearance. My hair wasn't combed, I had on an old t-shirt, and sweatpants, had dirty dishes in the background, while her bedroom was all made up, she was nicely dressed, had makeup on, etc; and what's even worse is I was the one who wanted her to like me (more than as a friend, which she knew how I felt ) I obviously had an old fashioned narcissistic thought process of "If she likes me she will/should like me regardless of my appearance." Bottom line - I sabotaged myself plain and simple. The old saying that you never get a second chance to make a first impression was never more true.
It may seem like a minor thing, but it definitely is not.
Men don't use soap in the shower? As a man myself, in all my life I've never encountered any man or multiple men who didn't bathe with soap. Is this really common? It can't be.
Probably an American thing
People are gonna call u sus if u wanna look handsome
I'm as dumbfounded as you are.
I've never encountered any men soaping themselves up in the shower or bath...
You don’t need soap lol. Just shower , deodorant.
If anything most of what was described is accurate but at the same time nobody is perfect. Life is often not fair either; but that is the world we live in... and it cab be very frustrating but really... what is a person supposed to do... well anyway, one should never do anything just for the sake of it - but to do it because it's right for you - in this sense, I think personal development and self improvement is overrated because most of the things we do in our daily lives are arbitrary and trivial. And I can't deny that what we consume (whether it would be food, social media, advertisements, just about anything really) will determine who you want to become because in order to be at peace with your surroundings and other individuals; you have to be at peace with yourself and set the bar to a reasonable level without feeling the need to live your life in fear or people please.
SO true, guys! "You control how you respond and react" - This applies to life in general, not just dating. I can't tell you how many times I've heard things like "She makes me so angry!" or "He made me do this, he made me do that!" The only one who controls your emotions is YOU, so recognize that and use it. You may feel how you feel, but you can channel those feelings into constructive actions, and if you don't know how to do that, a good therapist can help. "You can't change your height" - And the good news is that you really don't have to try. Like Courtney indicated, learn to live in your own skin and work on your confidence, which is something you can change. From the time I started working on those things, I had no shortage of attention from the women, even the ones who were taller than I was. I was never what anyone would call a chick magnet, but I was only as lonesome as I wanted to be. If anything, I'd say my height and no-better-than-average looks made it easy for me to bypass the shallow girls who just wanted trophy men. (Think tall, handsome and rich but no substance. Not much different from a trophy wife.) It also helps to stop ignoring all the women who don't look like [insert supermodel name here]. Just as you have more to offer than height, women have more to offer than appearance.
Yep. Good points.
Courtney Ryan dropping some Jedi-level wisdom in this one.
Good stuff.
One of the real reasons why I'm depressed and anxious all the time is because the problem is me. It has always been me. Nothing I ever say or do is right! Even when I exercise and whatnot, I'm still messed up in the head.
Stop caring about what people think of you and you won't feel anxious. Everyone is screwed up, but some do a better job hiding it.
Try constantly keeping yourself distracted. But good habits e.g exercise with other people like a fitness class or sport, cleaning, reading, cooking/meal prep, planning your day. If you give your time purpose. Just get off your butt and DO IT! Motion creates motion. Good luck. 🙂
@@Andytheevien thanks
I only feel the same way you do because too many people over too many decades drilled into my head that literally everything in existence that's bad and negative, including natural disasters, are my fault, and that this is just me as a person. Even when it's someone else's fault, even when literally nothing happened at all, even when it was an accident or a misunderstanding, I'm blamed. And I'm blamed as if I'm just going around making a point to be as bad a person as I possibly can. I've gotten that from strangers, classmates, what should have been potential employers, teachers, even family, whatever their age. All I can say to that is, just remember that what people dished out to you (your depression and anxiety from feeling like you can't do or say anything right), that's coming back around to the people who drilled it into your head. Sooner or later. One day, they will get what they gave you. I don't feel depressed or anxious, but as someone who knows how you feel in general (in me, it became a constant anger that I cannot shake off, which keeps me from being able to be happy), you got this. Some way, some how, you'll find a way to be right and show those people. Then they'll be embarrassed. Some day, they will feel what you feel.
@@jasongates- ok. I understand. Thanks.
I love you Courtney. Thanks for helping out us kings. I've been following you for a while and I've learnt a lot
I truth the most brutal truth (single) guys need to learn is the negative correlation between visibly stressing your romantic encounters and success in your dating life. I think this is a sister point to the scarcity mindset, but it's a different point to make because women want to see men confident and in control. And even more importantly, if a woman sees you losing yourself of your interactions, then it'll definitely make her less comfortable -- which is the last thing you want in the presence of romantic interest.
Then the second most brutal truth I think guys need to accept is that not at all women be consistent with their interests in men. And no, it's not all due to looks! For example, just because a woman says she values a man's thoughtfulness and kindness doesn't mean she'll like you for being kind. It often will have to go hand-in-hand with other qualities you have. It's all a part of the package we present to potential partners, so don't get mad if you're "nice" but don't get the interest of the woman you like. Maybe you need to just work on better illustrating those other qualities you have.
TikTok is the biggest time suck. I spent 4 hours once as well and deleted it off my phone. My new plan is to have a separate device just for social media. But then I also have to be careful about not filling in that time with TV/video games
As usual, another all-around great video, Courtney! You always show tremendous depth, wisdom, and compassion. Teddy is a very lucky guy!
Brutal? Yes. Honest? Even more so. Improving ourselves is the only thing we can control. Everything else is just background noise. Once again Courtney, as usual, you provide an intelligent, practical perspective how to live an aware, mindful and healthy life. You are a supreme shining light in an era of cloudy social media comparison. Keep your content rolling please.
Your wisdom and demeanor speak wise beyond your years.
There has to be a benefit to 'improving' yourself. The problem right now is guys are being told to do this but then get nothing from it. Whats the fucking point
@@ohjay7612 Agreed. I'm sick of people saying "oh you have to improve yourself! That's all you can do!" When there are dudes who are 30+, have good money, are physically fit, have worked on themselves socially and still see no results.
@@markishbasedgod5251 100%, and let's be clear what we mean by results cause I feel like they beat around the bush. We mean WOMEN. The problem for a lot of men right now is loneliness for women. The reality is that is why guys want to improve, and if you're still going to be alone why bother
@@ohjay7612 Yep. I'm pretty happy with where I've gotten in life, just women seem to not be happy with it at all, which means I can't build a family which is what I did all of this for, making everything pointless.
I mean she keeps saying "well if no woman wants to date you it's probably you"... well sure I've accepted that fact, but what if working on myself for the past 10 plus years doesn't help and I'm in a pretty good spot regardless... I mean is it REALLY still all men? If 99% of men have the same issue is it really us... or?
@@markishbasedgod5251 THANK YOU. I feel like they pretend men like you(and me) dont exist. They create this image of men who dont even shower(like seriously how many people are actually that way) and ignore the guys who have done all the things you're expected and there's still no women interested. Well, at that point something else is wrong. Stop driving completely normal men insane and saying the problem is us. Women are not reasonable right now. And yes, that is the ONLY reason to be self improving. If men want money, we know how to get a job. The entire problem right now is wtf does it take to get anywhere with women.
These are very well done, Courteney. I appreciate the advice, and your compassionate, honest & logical delivery.
I struggled with time to do things. I caught myself one day spending time on TV shows rather than reading a book. So I tried to implement one thing Jocko said once, discipline. This is key here to manage this problem when you are disciplined you can do everything you want to do.
Ah, discipline. That dreaded word. But such a critical one.
Good morning! I used to use Alpha's product. Love his channel. As I love your's. I was super happy with the results. I needed to switch to a different product because this product made my eyes burn like crazy. But I have sensitive eyes (long story). But your point is indeed well made. I started at age 50 (soon to be 56) and REALLY wish that I would have started a decade sooner. Good for you on the sponsorship.
Courtney, I cried watching this because I know there is a lot wrong with me. Social Anxiety and lack of self confidence and I only want to meet people and socialize and even find a nice girl to be with but I'm 27 with no friends and lost some in the military. I'm gonna start working out but I have Philiphobia, it's a fear of being alone or fear of never finding love. Its a real physiological condition.
Maybe going to the military yourself will do you some good. I mean it.
Gonna call bs on this. You really sound like you’re begging for a pity party. The only way you’re going to grow is if you feel enough pain to take action. You’re experiencing anxiety? Maybe it’s not enough anxiety. Start taking responsibility for everything in your life and stop being weak. At the age of 27 you deserve all the suffering that you bring upon yourself.
@@joseguardado565 today's military is a wokefest. It was always a head game. Now its extra head game if you want to keep your head down and not take fire for values.
“Cancer cures neurosis”
ua-cam.com/video/WjE6wkJnzqg/v-deo.html
@@dobermanownerforlife3902 It is, but it still have structure in it. I also strongly suspect that there are not many "wokes" on the inside. Most of them won't be able to addapt to the preassure.
Love your insights! They are priceless, and something I haven’t heard from anyone in such clear and kind manner…Thank you!
I'm 6'2" (6'3" with shoes on), but most women aren't really asking for a guy over 6 feet. They just want someone TALLER THAN THEM 85-90% of the time. That 6 feet and over thing is mainly a social media thing. You just gotta put yourself out there more. That's all it boils down to.
Nah I'm taller than most girls but I'm not tall so I might as well be 5ft
What if u get in an argument and she calls out ur height
@@kevinsamson1693 I've never been negatively called out on my height. Not even from the freakishly tall women.
@@20thcentury_toy It's not just being taller than then, but by a good amount, about 4 inches at the very least.
From experience, women 5'2" and under go exclusively for men OVER 8" taller than them, much more so than a woman 5'6" who is open to dating someone closer to their height. It's almost as if the under 5'2" woman is doing it out of spite because of her own feelings of inferiority. Especially so for women of child bearing age.
The real brutal truth is nothing you say or do matters. It's all like point #8. Either your person exists or they don't. There's nothing you can say or do to change that. The only thing that might matter is trying to find them, but the odds of that are far worse than finding a needle in a haystack.
Brutal truth men need to hear:
Don't listen to "advice" directly followed by a paid advertisement (e.g. you NEED a skincare routine)
@UngaBunga? fr I wipe my face with the same towel I wipe my balls and I have a baby face
Yep. But Courtney believes it likely. My girlfriend no matter what I say she uses all kinds of lotions and she believes it's gotta help. Ok. Maybe dry skin stuff. It starts with a good diet and cutting out the bad crap foods that are poison. Your skin is an organ. Nourish within with the right stuff . Real food. Not fake food.
Hydrate. Exercise.
Rinse and spin again.
As I’ve always said when confronted about my height:
Height’s irrelevant when you’re on your back. 😉
On dating: don't.
Dating is a waste of your resources. Dating stunts your growth. Dating lowers your value. Dating is you giving yourself away for free. Dating is parasitic.
Dating isn't closing.
Marriage is closing.
Value yourself. Invest in experiences that peak YOUR interest, and that encourage your personal development. Your relationship opportunities, both volume and quality, will continually increase.
Gentleman, salute to you.
Not washing you butt? Really? Damn fellas.
Yeah I can't remember which podcast I heard it on but there are a lot of nurses that say when GenZ guys are taking him to the emergency room it is highly likely they will find tracks in their underwear. Apparently pulling your cheeks part, wiping, and even scrubbing is not something they think is normal.
Washing ur rear end as a man is fruity that’s for females
@@LatimusChadimus cause that’s for females men don’t do dat shi unless they play for the other team
@@kevinsamson1693 Good hygiene knows no gender or sexuality.
@@1981lashlarue good hygiene for the most part is good but why the rear end unless ur getting it eaten by ur girl which is kinda questionable there no point for a guy to be worried about back there
I used to have that mentality about my height, where I thought I would never find a girlfriend because I’m so short. Now I have a girlfriend and have lost that mindset since she likes me for more than just my height/looks. I just want to take a moment to thank you @CourtneyRyan for all your videos. You have helped me become the man I am today which helped me get the girl of my dreams!
What is your and your gf's height ?
Very good advices. I know I am repeating myself over and over but... you're wise woman Courtney. Keep gpoing.
#10 What you do for a woman is never enough and her love for you is only temporary
Yes and no. There are many women whose love is temporary but do not miss out on a good woman who'll enrich your life for decades to come because of this mindset. Both men and women need to be very very strict in vetting relationship partners.
Hvala!
YOU WANT A WOMAN that Wants you, not Needs you.
Best video you've ever done Courtney. Well done and keep it up! I'd love to hear another 9.
The height one always makes me laugh, when did that become a thing ?
Most of them girls who require that are under 5’5, me being a joker whenever I hear about height requirements in dating I have two responses to that help cheer up friends and coworkers,
1 if she says she only dates 6’0 and up but is under 5’5 just say “sorry but you gotta be this tall for your opinion to matter.
2 if she says she only dates 6’0 and up but is under 5’5, I’m guessing she never had man in her life she could look up to 😆
Courtney, thank you for this guide of pure and practical wisdom. You're such a wise lady! Your parents should be proud of you!
You have great content Courtney and you are great at discussing it. You didn't mention sleep. We all need sleep. "You cannot make up for lost sleep". Dr James A Cory said this on his radio show everyday. Took a while for it to sink in for me but the cells in your body need that sleep to stay healthy.
You have a good head on your shoulders Courtney. I've been following you for about a year and have seen all your videos. Keep them coming. You have yet another fan here. Blessings all the way from NYC.
I haven't started the video yet. I have no idea what to expect, but I've been single for many, many years and I see that in the near future, and I am and have been VERY happy with it. Now I watch the video to see if I'm fed something I 'should want' like young me when relatives and society try force-upon their ways of living (or at least the way they want me to live, I should say(which is even more fk'd up)) or if it's just general advice in the video such as stay healthy, have a good attitude, mental health is important, etc.
Just keep working on yourself and things come together eventually. Challenges will always be there it's how we look at them and respond is what makes the difference. Also gotta be aware of the people around you. Don't settle because you are alone. Treat everyone with the respect they deserve and within healthy values/boundaries and you will be fine. Focus on yourself and let the world decide what they want about you. You have no control over it. Enjoy life and stay level headed at the same time. Don't try to find romance let it find you.
You are spot-on Courtney! Son became a millionaire at 21, getting ready for a future
I was born with a skinn disease, it effected my whole body. It was gone when I was 3 years old and it came back with my puberty. Further I struggle because my brain developed earlier but my boddy developed later than regular. In the age of 25 I was still forced to show my identification card to proof my age. Anyway I am now almost 50, my experience with women is full of "brutal truth".
i have some skin condiction that are very bad too. All her praised skin products would make me look like a lobster. have have stuff from my doc but it is expensive and the routine is very disgusting. to make it short . i can only bath once a week or my skin will be so fing dry that it peals himself and the same i have with my head. dandrufs from hell. on a good day my shoulders are white like snow after a few hours and if i wash it more than once a week the hair looks like i hav not wash it in a year. rest of the week i can only use a wet towel without soap to get away sweat and stuff.
The bad part is than woman i work with ask why i do not make my hair with spray and stuff and i answer truhtfull and the than look in disbelief or disgust.
Here's one you missed, "Understand all your efforts can yield no results. There are no guarantees. Yes you can better the odds, but nothing guarantees success."
I have an older bro and a younger bro, but no sister.
You are a helpful sister figure with lots of good advice. :)
Your videos are amazing. You transmit authencity.
I don't like being tall I wish I was short many people don't know this but when your Taller you have a harder time bending down and or your bones being heavy
I so agree with the 1st one. I believe it was from a Japanese philosopher but it has been said the ONLY thing you have absolute control over is certainly not your finances nor your health. BUT how you treat others. Simply thought about it seems so true. ABSOLUTE CONTROL remember that.
Courtney thank you. You are so easy to listen to.
Brutal truth: awesome, awesome, awesome! Crap!!! I'm 47 and I feel like I'm your younger brother when I listened to this. Thanks so much!
when she said "eating chicken and kale for every meal" made me think of Olive Garden's sausage, potato and kale soup. That stuff is AWESOME!!
4:55 Brutal truth indeed. I confessed my feelings to every lady I met when I was young and none of them want me. I am 26 now and at this point I don't give a damn anymore since I am definitely the problem
Mental health. You've got to keep your mind healthy as much as your physical health. Get help if you need it. Don't force yourself to accept despair in a vain display of pride. Look after yourself, it's not selfish to be happy. If special people in your life are becoming concerned, don't act like it's not a problem. Don't have destructive outlets for your problems. If you can't be happy with yourself, you'll never make anyone else happy either. Don't put your mental well being on the back burner. Take care of yourself, folks.
Yes I would like such a video about dealing with anger
Courtney! Thank you for all the great advice. I haven't heard you say anything that doesn't make sense and admire your honesty.❤
BEST ADVICE GIVEN TO MEN FROM A WOMAN ON THE INTERNET. NO BS, NOT SELLING ANYTHING, JUST GREAT INSIGHTFUL FRIENDLY ADVICE. THANK YOU❤️
I think about this a lot. It’s a quote from the movie “Cool Runnings” it goes like this. “… A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.” That truth applies to everything in life. Be it a nice car, designer clothes, or a relationship. Whatever it is- unless it’s one of the basic needs, being air, water, food, shelter, etc.- if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.