How to Thrive as A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
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- Опубліковано 17 чер 2024
- Being a highly sensitive person (HSP) comes with a unique set of benefits. HSPs often exhibit a deep capacity for empathy, making them attuned to the emotions and needs of others, which can enhance personal relationships and foster meaningful connections. Their heightened sensory processing allows them to appreciate subtleties in art, nature, and everyday experiences, often leading to a rich inner life and creative expression. Moreover, their ability to notice nuances and changes in their environment can contribute to thorough and thoughtful decision-making, providing an advantage in both personal and professional settings. Finally, the reflective nature of HSPs can lead to profound insights and a deep understanding of complex situations, benefiting problem-solving and emotional management.
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles and books in these areas and is the author of:
The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
rb.gy/hdyqyy
Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment. Available at: tinyurl.com/2anv8dww
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
UA-cam: / @drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Dr. Fox’s Blog: www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
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00:00 Introduction
00:28 Heightened Sensory Processing
00:55 Emotional Intensity
01:44 Depth of Processing
02:25 Sensitivity to Subtleties
03:27 Differences from Being Overly Emotional
03:58 Emotional Regulation
07:20 Presentation of Problem/Challenge of being an HSP
10:02 Empathic Burden
12:19 Sensitivity to Criticism
13:26 Boundary Difficulties
14:06 Pursuit of Perfection
15:18 Positives of an HSP
Let's acknowledge that Dr.Fox was nice enough to repost this video without the sound effects that seemed to bother so many HSP's out there. :) Only an HSP would do that I think.
I'm always happy to help
🙌
Thanks Doc👍
Agreed. And it seems like the quick edits are fewer and softer. This is very helpful and gives us HSP’s something concise to share with those who don’t understand or eccentricities. ❤
That's annoying talking with your hands. He's annoying.
Having highly sensitive sensory processing is such an important element in HSPs. If you’re not sure, ask your parents. My mom has told me a story which was odd for her to understand. When she had me around age 1, my family went to visit the shrine of the Shias eighth imam as tourists. Apparently I suddenly start screaming as soon as they enter the shrine out of blue. They had to leave because I didn’t stop. When I cried I would cry for a long time. I’m extremely sensitive to smells, I LOVE good scents and even have vomited to bad smells. The bright lights makes me tear, but very dim light make me tired easily too. as a child I would cry because I could sense one shoe was always slightly aa tighter fit than the other. Airborne and food allergies are my lifetime struggle before I was even born!!! Sensitive skin, sharp eyes for details, strong intuitions to the point of telepathic…. I feel physical pain when I see injured people. You know you’re extremely highly sensitive as soon as you read/hear about it.
How interesting! I expect you need a lot of quiet time as that sounds overwhelming. I can understand though as I am extremely sensitive to loud noises, crowds and toxic atmospheres
I feel ya. I often puked when smelling something bad when people around me were like: what smell? Hearing? I remember my school days in black and white because the constant noise was overloading my brain. I had perpetual migrane for all of my school years and only during college that pain dissipated. Skin? I get scratches from some materials. :/ It's annoying as hell, because people think it is overreacting. :/
I can recall being aware of problem behavior and underlying attitudes (moods) in other people as a child. As I got into my teen years this awareness became overwhelming and I started to shut myself off from it.
I'm in my late 60s now and through CPTSD work, ACoA, and understanding my INFJ personality type I've let my "sensitivity" reawaken. I've never felt so *fully me.*
Boundaries are important - and that includes remembering that my solitude is very important for me.
Tyvm for sharing. Fellow, INFJ here...I am 61, and same as you..working through CPTSD, ACOA, too. You're post helped me. Txs.
I get way too triggered by people's reactions towards me. Negative or positive, I feel like a weirdo, over thinking central
I am so extremely highly sensitive, so thank you. It tends to feel kind of like an evil.
I don’t watch much TV and rarely go to movies.
At theatre recent for Blue Angels and even the ads/commercials and trailers for upcoming movie releases we’re making me want to cry so hard. That whole time I was getting choked up but holding it back.
And I felt embarrassed. And also like I best stay away from there, since my exposure is so rare.
It's okay to feel overwhelmed by certain stimuli, and it's important to take care of yourself. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Even though I work in healthcare and am very committed to my work and interested in health in a broad way- years ago I had to stop watching ER- Chicago Hospital Emergency Room - it was a very popular show and the character of Dr Greene was very likeable- I could feel my blood pressure raise as i watched it. That’s how I described it to myself, then I tell myself to cop on- ( be realistic- it’s TV etc). But it kept happening- I blamed myself for having “no boundaries” that came from a therapist- yes- I have plenty of boundaries. What I now realise is that I was going into a sympathetic response in my body- the as if I was dealing with this as I watched. At work, I can stay calm etc- and be very tuned in- but that is also in so ways a sympathetic response.
It’s a relief to know this now. I came from an abusive home, tyrannical mother, enabling and culpable father, loads of kids…. I was always a see- er.
I walked out of a movie recently after constant previews and ads wore me out that I had nothing left for the movie.
It's not a flaw and not a curse and not a super power. Probably developed from hyperawareness, over vigalence but mixed with a elements of high emotional intellegance, empathy and caring for others etc.
What is important is knowing that not everyone will explore the whys and wherefores like you do? They don't want or choose to seek the insight you do. This is your way of coping not theirs. That can feel hard when trying help resolve conflict. Step out of the drama and take comfort for yourself in your insight, self knowing, processing and willingness to understand. But you can not control others just yourself.
I know my validation comes from helping and supporting others. I certainly appear extroverted but solitude helps me sometimes - to let the thoughts ebb and flow and not need to talk or explain.
As I get older I get better and better at coping with being me.
Not least because of you Dr Fox.....I bought your books but I still owe you... 😂❤
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It's great to see self-awareness and personal growth shining through your words.
Thank you for a great explanation that really puts HSP into perspective.
Tip for all you HSPs out there - I’ve found journaling to be the most effective tool for processing thoughts and feelings and deciding what to do about them.
Looking forward to more of your insights Dr Fox!
From a very young age I was aware of this trait but it was framed as a negative by others around me ‘chicken hearted’ was one if my labels as a child For many years now 56) i felt there was something wrong with me & ended up in dysfunctional relationships where i nearly lost myself (eg overwhelm & emotional dysregulation) But my rich inner life has helped me through Thank you im glad I came across this on you tube 🙏
It's amazing how our childhood labels can shape our self-perception. I'm glad you found some solace in my video.
I am listening to this while enjoying a coffee on my own in a coffee shop 😉.
Halve way through I felt a mixture of sadness and joy. I was aware of some of the facts before but I have never felt beeing seen so complet. Thank you very much for emphasizing the positive aspects of HSPs.
Dr Fox, thank you for your books and your channel. You are a criminally underrated voice in the treatment of BPD and your book (the BPD workbook) helped me SO immensely. I am working on reviewing it for my channel. I will certainly check out the others. You rock.
Thank you so much!!
I am doing DBT group therapy but it may be worth checking out the workbook if it has more methods outside what is covered in my DBT workbook
Very insightful, thank you! UA-cam has been getting flooded with content about HSPs lately, but it really helps to hear about it from an expert who knows what he is talking about! Sadly, many people make videos on this topic and get some important facts wrong.
Algorithm
Great video for me. Thank you. It's a first in shining a light on my value as a highly sensitive human.
I struggled for so long with sadness from cruel t.v. images, trying to fix abusive situations that I'd witness involving children, etc. and then, years later, haunted by the same memories with "could I have done more", " why wasn't I strong enough to fix that situation", etc. Now, my goal is to empty my brain of the events that hurt my soul and continue to play in my brain. This video is unique and so
appreciated in my path to fix my life. Thank you immensely. Oh! I must mention that meditation, specifically, TM, was a HUGE help to me, especially functioning in a demanding work situation. I highly recommend it to all HSP for internal regulation.
Great comment. Being the oldest of four, I knew responsibility early on. I tried to rescue my sibs, friends, etc, who were broken in many ways, but I had to walk away from some. I had a love for rescuing pets too, but gave it up as I got older because the pain of losing them was too great. Too much grief, had to move on. Now I seek silence.
Thank you, Dr. Fox. It seems you know me (perhaps MANY of us!)
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
@@DrDanielFox Thank you, Dr. FOX!!!! It's kind and great for you to re-post this!!!!!!! It's very useful!!!!!!!
Something I wonder about is this. I know I'm a HSP. Is it common for a HSP to also have extreme memory recall? I remember just about everything. People who I knew 20 or more years ago plus their names, birthdays, siblings. Some people struggle to remember. My struggle is in forgetting.
It's all just there.
I have a huge lot of remembering. But then forget what I practically need - if i could rejig my memory skills it would help my life so much.
@@melliecrann-gaoth4789 Be careful what you wish for! LOL!
I have heard of people with this amazing memory, in fact there was a programme on TV about it a few years ago. I find the subject fascinating
@@Crystalquartz964 It's a mixed bag of positives & negatives. Some things I wish to forget yet can't, somethings I'm glad I remember. It has served me well as well as other people. Case in point, I went to lunch with a friend then to the DMV to fix a problem with her vehicle registration. When she was asked for her license plate number to make the process go a bit faster, I knew it. Wanting to be sure she was okay with it; I wrote it down for her to tell to the clerk.
She was so amazed that I remembered & it wasn't my car!
Thank you. I think HSP is really a form of giftedness.
I think so too!
I am and yes. Im very impressionable.in a literal way.
When I have my extroverted moments, I get almost an urge to be around social events. I tend to feel fomo if I don't have the money to spend to be out, whether it's going on my weekly nature walk, or having social time OUTSIDE of work. I love talking with random strangers and befriending them. I'd say with my BPD im mostly extroverted, but I do definitely have my introvert side in the crowds I feel out of place in.
As a man I find being highly sensitive a curse I have to hide particular particularly from other men so I'm not seen as a cissy. I'm sick of being empathic towards other people and always thinking of others only to be used. I've no real friends so much for that.
Agreed
But is there a brain region that modulates the incoming sensory data and provide filtering, that is simply offline in HSP?
Levine also talks about how early trauma can produce a disregulated nervous system that is extremely similar to one of a HSP.
If its indeed a trait, what would be the societal benefit of having that in the gene pool?
As deep as it is, society seems to reward traits quite opposite to HSP.
Good question. One way that being HSP is an advantage is with child rearing, especially before babies can talk. I think it’s very much a ‘help others type of trait.
@@katrinat.3032 I agree, it seems to be a help others trait. Also seems like an ideal way for healers/councelors/coaches.
I suppose it clashes with what a typical expectations for men are in society.
I'm not sure this is right, but I think the Reticular Activating System is responsible for filtering out/focusing on external stimuli. It would be interesting to know if it is somehow different for HSPs
As for the last point, also total guess, but the benefits would have been evolutionary. Some members of the group who are hyper aware would maybe help keep the whole group safe. Whereas culturally, today, this trait doesn't seem to align with the ideal, in the west. In other cultures, it might be a desirable trait to have, perhaps?
They are more intelligent.
Sure. It's a gift. But,stay close to yourself. Protect yourself.
Adult HSP with highly narcissistic sister. Sorting that all out, FINALLY, so thank you for this insight.
I am comfortable and happy to be a HSP, what is hardest in my life is how to support my 9 year who is also a HSP. You would think being a HSP myself this wouldnt be so hard, but it is.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Your dedication to supporting your child's sensitivity is truly admirable.
Conflict with an HSP friend (or so I thought) lets me think HSP as defined by Aron is a bad thing, as in way too vague. He was a nice guy but since discovering his HSP condition he's turned arrogant, know-it-all. He's got a FB page on HSP and I told him to at least warn people about how HSP traits can often be found in autistic and ADHD people, but he just doesn't care (talk about being hyper-empathetic...).
I think he has a more serious condition, like some sort of psychotic structure, but he doesn't get it.
Then there's some dangerous bullsh*t going on around HSP, the supposed super intuition, the hyper-empathy (feeling the supposed emotion of the other), it seems that this is mostly projection : Intuition is projection of the other's supposed intentions, hyper-empathy is projection of the other's supposed emotion, but they take it for granted and think they know what you feel better than you do, or attack you as they feel you have negative intentions, and they think they have a super-power.
That HSP thing is not wrong per say, but way too blurry, and has to be cleared of the bullsh*t spread over internet.
Thank you for this very helpful video, Dr Fox. I have found great benefit in collecting materials from charity shops (thrift shops) and making my own greetings cards to send to family and friends. I never thought I was artistic but I use my intuition to make my cards appropriate for different occasions and feel a sense of achievement when I've spent a couple of hours sticking and glueing. I think I enter a meditative state which helps my feelings of overwhelm and overthinking.
That's wonderful to hear how crafting has brought you joy and a sense of calm! Keep up the creativity!
Wow, I could relate to that! I think you are a great communicator. Thanks for the vid.
Sensitivity to criticism 🎯
For sure, I don't mind the drawbacks because of the gifts they come along with. thanks for seeing this. sensitivity is definitely a type of intelligence, sensitive kids are easier to condition and conditioning is learning.
You are so welcome!
Worry about every sensitive child in education. The lgbt agenda wants to tell them to cut off their genitals.
Great information and insight!
Excellent video!
Using my sensitivity by directing it inwards to catch feelings early is a great tip.
Thank you
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Visions is a good word to describe the memories.
I like your videos before watching.❤ this is for the great topic. But also the previous video was of great topic. …. I m very much HSP have been always. My brain moves fast and processes fast and I am very good in understanding conceptual ideas categorising research writing and also art in various forms . I notice the smallest things but also broad things. All of that gives me a lot of anxiety.. Not having a family here and there makes a difference in the life of an HSP. I think I need to have a different job for who I am but I worked so hard for it for years.
Thanks Doc , I could relate to these things and will watch this again for sure to help the message sink in . Alot to learn in a short video but still good to know .
Also a spiritual thing happens too…
Our Stats & Skills That We've Built Up Will Differ Between Each of Us In this Game Of Life.
Much Respect To Those Still Choosing to Upgrade Your Character💞
And Gratitude For Those Throwing Us Heal & Protection
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Thanks alot dear dr
Most welcome 😊
Hi doctor i hope you can read this.
Since i was 6 years old i used to lie to make the others admire me to make them understand that i was knowing more than them or to get what i wanted. That behaviors start to change when i was teenager but always feeling special and blaming the others for my actions. Idk if it is becsuse of a low self steem since i was a child or is bpd or hpd or i dont know. Im 23 now and at this point i struggle with fantasies of power like the people noticing me that im different unqiue i know that i need help but thats it. Thanks for reading.
It's great that you're aware of your behaviors and seeking help. You're taking a positive step towards self-improvement.
This was exact. I find it difficult in this world and I'm really fast burning out. People don't understand and I'm constantly drowned. But on the other hand I see it as a gift. I feel peoples intentions, not always nice.. If I trust myself it's a good thing. GREAT VIDEO❤ MUCH❤ FROM GERMANY
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
@@DrDanielFox❤!
I am highly sensitive and I wish I could find a way to stop being triggered by things. I have had therapy, which has worked to some extent and I try to do mindfulness every day to help me get stronger but it’s still very difficult. I do love some things like photography and music which I get sometimes overwhelmed by, but I think that’s a good thing.
It's great that you're actively working on managing your triggers and finding activities you love. Keep at it!
@@DrDanielFox Thanks, I appreciate the reply.
Excellent teaching video & thank you Doctor!
Glad it was helpful!
Enlightening info. Thanks.
Glad it was helpful!
Learned quite a bit. Of new things
I can't handle people living overhead! I moved 4x in 4 years. They don't sleep! I am in my car most of the time or at work, no one understands
That sounds really tough, I can imagine how frustrating that must be for you.
He's very good. really helpful.
Yes I was wondering why certain photos come up in my mind and o get really sensitive
They may be attached to past experiences. Hard to say for sure.
I LOVE DR.D.FOX
Thank you so much for your kind words. I wish you well.
SO HELPFUL!
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
best high sensitive video i found
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Thank you
HSP (f) with non-HSP (m). Suffer from cPTSD, depression, anxiety, etc. Hubbie is prone to sneaking up on me...has done this for decades. Sometimes intentional, mostly accidental. I am never happy about it. Also makes loud noises unexpectedly - silly boy.
I haven't clocked him yet, but his time is coming. There are no boundaries after 40 years.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It's important to communicate your needs and boundaries openly.
Thanks.
I’m definitely HSP. I also notice I can smell things that aren’t here. Example: if a waffle commercial comes on TV, then I smell toasted waffles. Another time I saw some bandaids in a magazine and I could smell them. It’s not all the time and I can’t control it. It just happens
I am definitely introverted which helps with being HSP
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Great video, but the audio is peaking out. Try lowering the gain, and use a good Lavalier microphone. Also dereverb and denoise in post.
The sun is not a monster!!!! Bench warmers reference...
Seriously though, I always thought most people aren't all that nuanced.
Thanks❣️
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
i am a highly sensitive person,who was married to a psychopath during twenty years; we had two children , apparently the two are like him.
i am destroyed is there any hope?
💯 across the board
Does being a HSP make us more susceptible to developing BPD.
This is something I'd like to know too!
I think I'm more convinced it's a curse. I've only been aware of my high sensitivity for about a year now and the more i learn about it the more it seems like a curse. I have yet to truly feel any benefits whatsoever
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It can be tough to navigate high sensitivity, but hang in there!
@@DrDanielFox as a male in society today it's almost taboo and seen as needy and weak to express yourself to anyone. You're expected to "suck it up" and drive on. Very frustrating and draining to keep up this appearance
I hope you see this. The way and intensity and how fast do you talk gives me anxiety. LOL I know it's not on purpose but it's probably what you were talking about with sensitivity. I do appreciate your videos though. Thank you
Thank you for your feedback and for still enjoying my content despite the fast pace. I appreciate your support! YOu can slow down the playback on YT, FYI.
I talk like this too
@@DrDanielFoxDr Fox, I speed up your videos and read the captions so that I can learn more quickly (and watch more videos in the time that I have spare!)
❤
It is a curse people treat you like garbage
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Interpretation... Which mentioned being investigated ? The pages I have and other images.. Printed evidence.. I just process this is distractive for various regulations
Now it would be good to stop the visual ins and outs of the camera. No need to do the flash points -- its so distracting.
A good way to deal with that is to pause the video and just read the comments 😀
What you call meditation I call prayer 🙏
I disagree, it has been a lifetime curse! Depth, subtley, understanding complexity, and paradoxes are not valued in this current American Society.
I have no current Psych Diagnoses, I'm just an ordinary person.
People who read Elaine’s book and get attached to HSP become horrible invalidic people.
I haven't read that book. I wish you well.
Nothing to do with borderline! .
There are overlapping traits for sure. Hope you enjoyed the video.
Why do so many presenters flap their hands around all the time while talking. I'm highly sensitive to that. I can't concentrate on what this man is saying cause his hands are so distracting to me.
Snap out of it n focus on
@@alyssaguerra1416😮
Haha I understand! Lots of folks aren't skilled in presentation. Just listen instead of watching
Just listen to the audio, then
Just disregard the screen and listen as a podcast.
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