Dumb Lawyer Quotes IRL but in Ace Attorney 2

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  • Опубліковано 27 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,5 тис.

  • @Chessete
    @Chessete  3 роки тому +13869

    A number of people have been asking if there are full court transcripts of each case which the answer is no. The sources only take snippets of these different cases and put those along with other snippets. Most but not all of these are from sites who took these transcripts from Steven D. Price and Charles M. Sevilla who were lawyers and wrote books recording these silly things said in real court recordings. You can find the case names in those books but I highly doubt you will find the case transcripts from just the names online. Thanks for watching!
    ALSO the third one just premiered go check it out: ua-cam.com/video/JfcMEMmSOFE/v-deo.html

    • @engineergaming1669
      @engineergaming1669 3 роки тому +20

      K

    • @kuroneko3230
      @kuroneko3230 3 роки тому +165

      Can we get the sources?

    • @janLilin
      @janLilin 3 роки тому +99

      Yeah that's great but what are the books titles

    • @revolvingworld2676
      @revolvingworld2676 3 роки тому +82

      @@janLilin
      Nust google the authors names bro and search the books they wrote.

    • @Wanderingsocks
      @Wanderingsocks 3 роки тому +16

      I appreciate the addition of the music.these are great

  • @elijahdage5523
    @elijahdage5523 3 роки тому +9618

    Ace attorney, but the lawyers haven't slept in several days

  • @demonman905
    @demonman905 3 роки тому +14556

    "If I wasn't under oath, I would have returned the compliment."
    We just witnessed a brutal murder in the court room.

    • @furiousfurry
      @furiousfurry 3 роки тому +420

      I don't think its an insult
      Edit: ok I dint know what an oath was and now I'm being brutally massacred

    • @tyruskarmesin5418
      @tyruskarmesin5418 3 роки тому +1143

      @@furiousfurry It is. He can’t lie under oath, so he’s saying that calling the lawyer intelligent and honest would be a lie.

    • @Pharomid
      @Pharomid 3 роки тому +167

      @@furiousfurry if I was under oath, I wouldn't call you intelligent.

    • @variouspeople6196
      @variouspeople6196 3 роки тому +29

      @@furiousfurry if I was under oath then I would be making this comment

    • @jessegd6306
      @jessegd6306 3 роки тому +130

      I haven't witnessed a man be so brutally massacred in a courtroom since Caesar.

  • @christopheredwards8219
    @christopheredwards8219 3 роки тому +3994

    I love the way Nick is just "Now's my time to shine" and then proceeds to be stupid at the speed of light.

    • @RanMouri82
      @RanMouri82 2 роки тому +87

      The Sonic of stupidity. Gotta go fast!

    • @MrGemHunter
      @MrGemHunter 2 роки тому +52

      its high level witness badgering

    • @vadandrumist1670
      @vadandrumist1670 Рік тому +78

      That moment and the followup with Apollo gives me the impression that they knew exactly what they were doing, then Edgeworth went along with it to troll Iris as hard as possible.

    • @darkacadpresenceinblood
      @darkacadpresenceinblood Рік тому +32

      this is just actual ace attorney (at least when i play, after all i'm the one making Phoenix do the stupid shit💀)

    • @crescent_sun482
      @crescent_sun482 11 місяців тому

      ​@@darkacadpresenceinbloodit's in character, he's a dumbass (I mean that as affectionately as possible)

  • @errorsyntax404wontworth6
    @errorsyntax404wontworth6 3 роки тому +5301

    “I would return the compliment if I wasn’t under oath.” Is such an Ace Attorney line. I would be surprised if it wasn’t in the game.

    • @prinnywizzard9608
      @prinnywizzard9608 3 роки тому +223

      It felt like it was the right person delivering it, too :D

    • @zoeyoprey7406
      @zoeyoprey7406 Рік тому +238

      If they talked about being under oath in AA, they’d have to acknowledge that lying in court is an actual crime, and we couldn’t have that

    • @yugimuto1639
      @yugimuto1639 Рік тому +62

      ​@@zoeyoprey7406they actually did but most of the time it is ignored (I don't remember when though)

    • @Whispersmith646
      @Whispersmith646 11 місяців тому +55

      ​@@zoeyoprey7406 in great ace attorney case 3 they mention perjury

    • @whilenya4714
      @whilenya4714 4 місяці тому +36

      ​@@Whispersmith646 They do also mention perjury somewhere in the original trilogy, I think.

  • @coraobear
    @coraobear 3 роки тому +4552

    "Doctor, do you recall the time you examined the body?"
    "The autopsy started around 8PM."
    "And he was dead at the time?"
    "If not, he was dead by the time I finished"
    *This is concerning and hilarious at the same time*

    • @roetemeteor
      @roetemeteor 2 роки тому +233

      Well, I mean if someone asks if you the Performed an autopsy, by the time you're done, they are going to be dead. There's pretty much no question there, so it's a little late to worry about it.

    • @Darkness_Fuchsia
      @Darkness_Fuchsia Рік тому +102

      @@roetemeteor autopsy, not to be confounded with necropsy
      One of them has a 100% death rate while the other is probably around 20%

    • @lilylunamoonyt
      @lilylunamoonyt 11 місяців тому +22

      Trafalgar law in a nutshell

    • @MasquedMocha
      @MasquedMocha 4 місяці тому +6

      @@lilylunamoonyt LMAO YES

    • @lilylunamoonyt
      @lilylunamoonyt 4 місяці тому +4

      @@MasquedMocha hello fellow person of culture, glad to see someone understood my reference :D

  • @IMeanIt100
    @IMeanIt100 3 роки тому +10749

    "was that the same nose you broke as a child" sounds like a normal ace attorney twist

  • @FusionArmorX
    @FusionArmorX 3 роки тому +21519

    "You forgot? How can you forget? Give us an example of something you forgot!"
    This sounds like it wouldn't be out of place in an actual Ace Attorney game.

  • @miked5163
    @miked5163 3 роки тому +3136

    1:46 requires its own homicide trial holy shit

    • @AxolinaAxolotl
      @AxolinaAxolotl 3 роки тому +22

      i don’t get it pls explain

    • @ThatExplo
      @ThatExplo 3 роки тому +416

      @@AxolinaAxolotl Under oath, you cannot lie.
      He is saying that returning the compliment would be a lie.

    • @littlefishbigmountain
      @littlefishbigmountain 3 роки тому +75

      @@ThatExplo
      Technically, you _can_ lie, but you would be risking felony charges of perjury

    • @Valcuda
      @Valcuda 3 роки тому +45

      @@littlefishbigmountain just like how you can commit murder, but then you'd be facing charges of man slaughter

    • @justacrazyguy1929
      @justacrazyguy1929 3 роки тому +20

      @@Valcuda depends, you can face charges of either manslaughter or murder (1st, 2nd or 3rd degree, even though 3rd degree is basically the same as manslaughter) depending on the situation

  • @charleskimball7058
    @charleskimball7058 2 роки тому +1858

    “Doctor, are you absolutely positive the victim you examined is dead?”
    “ We’ll, I suppose it’s possible he’s alive and practicing law somewhere.”

    • @baofleurence7650
      @baofleurence7650 10 місяців тому +208

      How do you know he was dead ?
      Because his brain was in a jar on my desk.
      But are you sure he was dead ?
      No, it is possible that he was alive and practicing law somewhere.

    • @Blacksnowfanfics
      @Blacksnowfanfics 4 місяці тому +7

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @ArcanineEspeon
      @ArcanineEspeon 3 місяці тому +7

      Ohhhh that's an oldy but a goodie.

    • @Frostfern94
      @Frostfern94 Місяць тому +1

      @@baofleurence7650T H A T is the one I was waiting for! It’s my favourite

  • @X-SPONGED
    @X-SPONGED 2 роки тому +209

    _"If you can't Dazzle them with Brilliance,_
    _Baffle them with Bullshit..."_
    _- Phoenix and Apollo, Turnabout Insanity_

  • @Unknown-kq7mg
    @Unknown-kq7mg 3 роки тому +4134

    I'm surprised that Edgeworth didn't update the autopsy.

    • @LendriMujina
      @LendriMujina 3 роки тому +324

      Added details: "was performed on a dead person"

    • @TornadoZX825
      @TornadoZX825 3 роки тому +51

      the trial started at 8:01pm

    • @joveegillen6966
      @joveegillen6966 3 роки тому +62

      I know you're kidding, but I wanted to say this anyway: at least in America, it's legally required that both parties have access to all the same evidence, so that's probably why that didn't happen.

    • @Karasvoid
      @Karasvoid 3 роки тому +28

      @@joveegillen6966 yeah, but in Japan you can do that

    • @BimpytheWimpyShrimpy
      @BimpytheWimpyShrimpy 3 роки тому +14

      @@Karasvoid You foolish fool! _everyone_ knows Ace Attorney is set in California!

  • @usernamesarestupid7104
    @usernamesarestupid7104 3 роки тому +12305

    "How far apart were the cars during the collision" I'm so dumb. I did not see anything wrong with this statement

    • @Chessete
      @Chessete  3 роки тому +2594

      Happens to the best of us

    • @humanmaleboy
      @humanmaleboy 3 роки тому +1611

      These questions are meant to confuse the witnesses by asking them the same questions in different ways

    • @GalacticHero_
      @GalacticHero_ 3 роки тому +744

      It isn’t wrong. The witness needs to be telling the truth. If they aren’t, then they’d say two inches apart

    • @ww6372
      @ww6372 3 роки тому +639

      Its interesting, because if "during" was replaced with "before" or "after" the answers grow by a lot. Its very possible to send a car flying, but those are usually fatal cases

    • @timvangeene4949
      @timvangeene4949 3 роки тому +40

      me too

  • @Aaronmajowskavitz
    @Aaronmajowskavitz 3 роки тому +14984

    "If i weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment." ... bro Klavier needs to CHILL tf out he chose violence damn

    • @shalax7881
      @shalax7881 3 роки тому +581

      Local lawyer gets murdered

    • @Hala-k
      @Hala-k 3 роки тому +469

      @@shalax7881 but in the autopsy was the lawyer really dead? 🤔🤔

    • @atlasreborn7221
      @atlasreborn7221 3 роки тому +275

      @@Hala-k Oral

    • @Hala-k
      @Hala-k 3 роки тому +11

      @@atlasreborn7221 :0

    • @centrifugedestroyer2579
      @centrifugedestroyer2579 3 роки тому +52

      His name literally means "piano" in German. That threw me off for a second...

  • @cradleofchaos4923
    @cradleofchaos4923 3 роки тому +803

    "you forgot? How can you forget? Give us an example of something you forgot!" Is literally just an ace attorney investigations line.

  • @Spoon80085
    @Spoon80085 3 роки тому +758

    0:33 My dad actually knew the guy that said this! It was the witness, and when asked when the stairs went down the Witness said, "They go up too" And the lawyer didn't know what to do

    • @KC_Garcia
      @KC_Garcia Рік тому +149

      the lawyer forgot how stairs worked

    • @mrosskne
      @mrosskne 4 місяці тому +92

      HOLD IT! you're telling me the stairs went both up and down at the same time? but those are opposite directions!!!!!

    • @ArcanineEspeon
      @ArcanineEspeon 3 місяці тому +3

      Ohh, what was the case then?

    • @Spoon80085
      @Spoon80085 3 місяці тому +23

      @@ArcanineEspeon I'd have to ask him, but I'd wager it'd be Norfolk county court sometime between ~1990-2000

    • @theverycringenogoodname8453
      @theverycringenogoodname8453 3 місяці тому +18

      The lawyer has only ever seen escalators, let them be

  • @SketcherSquared
    @SketcherSquared 3 роки тому +8239

    i think these were meant to be psychological questions but they just sound really dumb

    • @TheMultiRaphael
      @TheMultiRaphael 3 роки тому +774

      when he asked if he did the authopsy on a dead person, he ALMOST got an accusation

    • @longdeadchannel8311
      @longdeadchannel8311 3 роки тому +482

      They do really be trying to confuse the witness

    • @FarrellDanuhardi
      @FarrellDanuhardi 3 роки тому +88

      Did someone say "P S Y C H O L O G Y"?!

    • @RequestTheSinger
      @RequestTheSinger 3 роки тому +416

      "How old is your son?"
      "38 or 35 i can't remember"
      "How long as your son lived with you?"
      "45 years"
      that's a psychology question?

    • @billystorm7135
      @billystorm7135 3 роки тому +26

      @@RequestTheSinger *45 years

  • @cyber_dragon_123
    @cyber_dragon_123 3 роки тому +10323

    "All your responses from now on must be oral, okay?
    What school did you go to?"
    *"Oral."*

    • @denkerbosu3551
      @denkerbosu3551 3 роки тому +631

      "How old are you?"

    • @zipperooni
      @zipperooni 3 роки тому +724

      *”Oral.”*

    • @oreomint8255
      @oreomint8255 3 роки тому +140

      @@zipperooni where were you born?

    • @millinakash5785
      @millinakash5785 3 роки тому +134

      I thought he meant Oral Roberts University

    • @trajanhill5610
      @trajanhill5610 3 роки тому +457

      "What were you doing at the time?"
      *O r a l .*

  • @luigiclone0286
    @luigiclone0286 3 роки тому +1553

    Me: *asking genuine questions because i didn't understand the subject*
    What the teacher thinks i am asking:

    • @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410
      @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410 3 роки тому +8

      When you crack the apple open:

    • @regularhuman7939
      @regularhuman7939 2 роки тому +54

      what you are asking: Can't we use Cos2A = 1 - 2Sin²A on the left hand side and get RHS in 4 steps?
      what the teacher heard: "How long have you been a French Canadian?"

    • @crestfire8008
      @crestfire8008 2 роки тому +4

      Ouch to my heart

  • @ducky5071
    @ducky5071 3 роки тому +475

    “He’s 20 much like your IQ”
    THERE’S NO COMING BACK FROM THAT ONE.

  • @lavagarden
    @lavagarden Рік тому +51

    "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
    No sir, I actually replace my nose every 3 years.

  • @genuineinterest
    @genuineinterest 3 роки тому +9392

    I LOVE that there's no explicit transition between each excerpt and it really looks like they're all just shouting increasingly awful questions at poor Iris who is in despair while Klavier takes it and dishes it back out

    • @MyoticTesseract
      @MyoticTesseract 3 роки тому +486

      iris is suffering so much

    • @antonioscendrategattico2302
      @antonioscendrategattico2302 2 роки тому +177

      @@MyoticTesseract It feels so strange seeing her do Dahlia's mannerisms though. Even though she does it in the game itself.

    • @iamthemouse4483
      @iamthemouse4483 Рік тому +1

      Oral 👁️👄👁️

  • @Hop445
    @Hop445 3 роки тому +17606

    "How many times have you committed suicide?"
    "... Four times."

  • @Dagaming12
    @Dagaming12 3 роки тому +4964

    I’d like to imagine this was just one super long argument and not multiple arguments put together cause it’s way better that way.

    • @sopapopp
      @sopapopp 3 роки тому +60

      It is

    • @rurumuhelsi5561
      @rurumuhelsi5561 3 роки тому +172

      Now we need to construct a whole entire case that fits it all together

    • @kendrickbrock-king1092
      @kendrickbrock-king1092 3 роки тому +13

      This is just 1 long one

    • @rurumuhelsi5561
      @rurumuhelsi5561 3 роки тому +88

      All of this stupidity couldn’t have possibly fit into one case, but you know what, I’ll take it as the truth, because there is a first time for everything.

    • @load-bearingcoconut5586
      @load-bearingcoconut5586 3 роки тому +62

      @@rurumuhelsi5561 the geniune stupidity in this would've been dense enough to cause a singularly if it were all in one case

  • @anxia-tea5846
    @anxia-tea5846 2 роки тому +60

    “Apollo, are you ready to say the dumbest shit in your life?”

  • @dracoerrarus4834
    @dracoerrarus4834 3 роки тому +4315

    “I could see his head.”
    “And where was his head?”
    “Just above his shoulders?”
    Me, an Ace Attorney pro: “HOLD IT! How do you know he has shoulders?”

    • @reaperofthings
      @reaperofthings 3 роки тому +462

      HOLD IT! This testimony clearly contradicts your previous testimony. If you could see his head and his shoulders you should have said so from the start!

    • @dracoerrarus4834
      @dracoerrarus4834 3 роки тому +247

      @@reaperofthings That... sounds much more accurate to the game. We’ll accept my dialogue as one of the other options that doesn’t cost you any points and let’s you try again.

    • @sunset-peril
      @sunset-peril 3 роки тому +33

      Haven't even played Ace Attorney but I still did that, 😂

    • @mosessinanta8005
      @mosessinanta8005 2 роки тому +54

      "Because I can see his shoulder"
      "How can you see the shoulder?"
      "They're just below his head"

    • @GMP1isReal
      @GMP1isReal 2 роки тому +56

      To be fair, that was the most useful question in this whole thing (which isn't saying much) since we now know he wasn't decapitated.

  • @blizzardlol7625
    @blizzardlol7625 3 роки тому +6291

    “Sir, what is your IQ”
    “ w e l l , i c a n s e e p r e t t y w e l l , i
    t h i n k . ”

    • @demilad225
      @demilad225 3 роки тому +536

      The funniest possible way of saying “below average.”

    • @Cyanidedan
      @Cyanidedan 3 роки тому +605

      @@demilad225
      "How old is your son?"
      "35 to 38 years, I can't remember."
      "How long has he been living with you?'
      *"F o r t y - F i v e Y e a r s"*

    • @yumiko523
      @yumiko523 3 роки тому +155

      In my country, there's an eyeglasses company named IQ I think

    • @bwth_hybl
      @bwth_hybl 3 роки тому +127

      @@yumiko523 I think it's eye-Q, like a pun lol

    • @TheGalaxyWings
      @TheGalaxyWings 3 роки тому +35

      oral

  • @Rabhadh-RhymesWithJava
    @Rabhadh-RhymesWithJava 3 роки тому +10902

    I love the idea that this trial is just Phoenix and Apollo having a rapid fire himbo off.

    • @stacy__fakename
      @stacy__fakename 3 роки тому +1071

      I love how eventually Edgeworth butts in, not to rerail *anything*, but simply to pull the same exact shit

    • @shrexyboi6068
      @shrexyboi6068 3 роки тому +371

      @@stacy__fakename Fight fire with fire

    • @Kittymouth
      @Kittymouth 3 роки тому +305

      @@stacy__fakename that's pretty much the first 2 games at least. Edgeworth likes to play that he's some kinda mister, but we all know he a thot.

    • @spiltmilk0204
      @spiltmilk0204 3 роки тому +172

      RAPID FIRE HIMBO OFF I LOVE THAT 😩

    • @Otter34
      @Otter34 3 роки тому +167

      @@Kittymouth He can only keep it together in the Investigations, when Phoenix isn't around. Not saying that means anything, but you know. Interesting correlation.

  • @gamercherry460
    @gamercherry460 3 роки тому +9178

    Klavier just leaning in and saying 'oral.' with the MOST SMUG LOOK ON HIS FACE made me laugh way too hard.

    • @MKDumas1981
      @MKDumas1981 3 роки тому +70

      Oh, my.

    • @leepickek7923
      @leepickek7923 3 роки тому +61

      Oh, my.

    • @noelleholiday61
      @noelleholiday61 3 роки тому +153

      That makes me feel like the guy who originally said this stuff was just messing with them the whole time because they sounded super dumb

    • @minttea9643
      @minttea9643 3 роки тому +27

      Oh, my.

    • @nagiinreallife
      @nagiinreallife 3 роки тому +25

      Oh, my.

  • @Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache
    @Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache 3 роки тому +236

    1:26
    Have you ever had a dream that that you um, you had, you'll t-, you would you could, you do, you would you want you you could do some, you... You'll do, you could you, you want, you want him to do you so much you could do anything?

  • @theandyestdandy8175
    @theandyestdandy8175 3 роки тому +200

    I've watched enough Ace Attorney to know that these dumb questions are only asked to buy the defense time while they think of an actually good question.

  • @Becca-hp4bg
    @Becca-hp4bg 3 роки тому +3940

    - The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
    - 20, just like your IQ

  • @ThePikaPlayer
    @ThePikaPlayer 3 роки тому +822

    This isnt a court case anymore, this is a full-on Monty Python sketch

    • @Centyme
      @Centyme 3 роки тому +22

      Tru, but the Spanish Inquisition just showed up to my house and I wasn't expecting them

    • @datonecommieirongear2020
      @datonecommieirongear2020 3 роки тому +18

      @@Centyme I expected them...
      soo they sent the portugese inquisition

    • @Centyme
      @Centyme 3 роки тому +13

      @@datonecommieirongear2020 but NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION

    • @ALookInto587
      @ALookInto587 3 роки тому +2

      @@Centyme Which can only mean one thing…
      Your honor! This witnesses testimony is bullshit!

  • @njsynthesis
    @njsynthesis 3 роки тому +2709

    "If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
    It took me a few days to figure out what he meant by that, but that quote struck me like a freight train when I did.

    • @fuyuki8989
      @fuyuki8989 3 роки тому +67

      Can you explain it to me please

    • @mariayyad2546
      @mariayyad2546 3 роки тому +753

      @@fuyuki8989 basically if he weren't under the oath to speak the truth, he would return the compliment, meaning that the compliment would be a lie-

    • @jjaa_joyjoyartist
      @jjaa_joyjoyartist 3 роки тому +112

      @@fuyuki8989 He knows the lawyers are dumb af

    • @semidecent4395
      @semidecent4395 3 роки тому +308

      @@fuyuki8989 In other words, he can’t say he’s a handsome talented man because he’d be lying. Meaning they’re indirectly calling the attorney in question ugly

    • @_z7990
      @_z7990 3 роки тому +20

      @@mariayyad2546
      Well damn

  • @steampunksamp80
    @steampunksamp80 3 роки тому +229

    The first part has me rolling every time, edgeworth eventually stops thinking and joins in

    • @WhiteWolf-lm7gj
      @WhiteWolf-lm7gj 8 місяців тому

      You can't stop the stupid, you can only get in on it

  • @waffleauflauf4213
    @waffleauflauf4213 3 роки тому +189

    I was expecting separate incidents, but the rapid-fire questions just made it so much better

  • @jasper3706
    @jasper3706 3 роки тому +3744

    Some of these are actually less stupid than they're made out to be- for instance, when a lawyer is cross-examining a witness they'll often ask a lot of quick, easy questions they know the answer to to get the witness used to saying the truth without hesitating. "How old is your youngest child" was probably meant to be something like that (or getting the info on the record), but they slipped in "the twenty year old" because... they're the lawyer of course they already know.
    That being said, "How long have you been French-Canadian" is still absolutely the best thing I've ever read

    • @waldoman7
      @waldoman7 3 роки тому +251

      I mean, I've been trying to quit for a while.

    • @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410
      @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410 3 роки тому +1

      Ty is a fanmade fanmade Popularity popelee up with comment anffdddddr education fc fd rc cddc. Dcccc

    • @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410
      @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410 3 роки тому +7

      @@waldoman7 the best ideas to give her I don't want to lose her for a log in bones is not saving you money

    • @NaughtiusMaximmus
      @NaughtiusMaximmus 3 роки тому +94

      @@lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410 ...what

    • @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410
      @lennygirlthetruesavvysavag2410 3 роки тому +1

      @@NaughtiusMaximmus the only thing I spend on my life animation was to be sent Delete and delete and delete all the way back to the b m to the b m to the b m to the b m to the b m to the b m to the b m to the b m to your knees

  • @Punchy919
    @Punchy919 3 роки тому +3963

    Okay but when he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to, and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he had brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?

    • @goldenpig6453
      @goldenpig6453 3 роки тому +803

      That question should be taken out and shot.

    • @Damage42X
      @Damage42X 3 роки тому +501

      You know, reading it slowly I finally understood it.

    • @Punchy919
      @Punchy919 3 роки тому +564

      @@Damage42X Same, well, kinda. He's asking a question that kind of has an implied nearly impossible outcome on his question, and he's stating all the improbabilites said outcome has
      Out of context, though, it's hilarious af. imagine being asked that irl

    • @Punchy919
      @Punchy919 3 роки тому +218

      @Eric Lee that you could
      that you
      that he
      uhm

    • @WaffleMelonChannel
      @WaffleMelonChannel 3 роки тому +180

      Godzilla had a stroke trying to read this and fucking died

  • @piranhasz427
    @piranhasz427 3 роки тому +9096

    “Was he shot in the woods?”
    “No, he was shot in the dick”
    “(What country is that in?)”
    WHEN I TELL YOU I WHEEZED-

  • @Пинагод
    @Пинагод 2 роки тому +64

    1:03 - Hey, going through the game's logic, that current nose she has on right now could be a prosthetic to cover the accident she had as a child, or to pose as that child that was in time of the accident. Or maybe her surgical records could become a clue later on that provides proof to an absence as she was attending something else; To have surgery on her nose. Ergo, that was an absolutely and completely validated and reasonable question to be asking!

  • @Hugealligator254
    @Hugealligator254 Рік тому +27

    Ace attorney but the only thing they learnt in law school is how to make that satisfying slam noise with a desk or table

  • @RandomNulls
    @RandomNulls 3 роки тому +6131

    I just love how everyone in the room besides iris has the combined IQ of the temperature of the room

    • @calebkirschbaum8158
      @calebkirschbaum8158 3 роки тому +179

      Idk, most court rooms I only need to bring a long sleeves. I don't think they get that hot

    • @recycledgdev1950
      @recycledgdev1950 3 роки тому +135

      What if I measure it in kelvin?

    • @cullenlatham2366
      @cullenlatham2366 3 роки тому +126

      to be fair, the judge took none of the sh*t, and the "doctor" threw it all right back, clearly being the smartass of the room. Apollo's paragraph was clearly designed to confuse, and saying such a "sentence" in itself requires some brainpower. Wright's biggest error was confusing the location of the shot, but otherwise was able to roll with the punches of the stupid and intentionally confusing questions. All that leaves is Edgeworth, who caught the stupid and something that could very easily have been in one of the games (likely as a reply to pushing when player is backed up against the wall fishing for any clue they can get). There is a case to be made that iris was the actual lowest in the room for falling victim to the mind games, but she does have to compete with Edgeworth, who did not have enough lines to fully judge.

    • @user-vh2pn2ty4d
      @user-vh2pn2ty4d 3 роки тому +39

      Measured in Celsius

    • @creeperhunterD
      @creeperhunterD 3 роки тому +9

      @@islu6425 It was a valid question...

  • @Kami74159
    @Kami74159 3 роки тому +288

    I like that Edgeworth at first is confused about what's happening but just joins in halfway through

  • @linkdx7079
    @linkdx7079 3 роки тому +370

    Love how the judge was just tired of everyone's shit at the end "i'm arresting all of you"

  • @Roy-yq4bn
    @Roy-yq4bn 3 роки тому +120

    2:52 she Forgor💀

    • @MoonLmao
      @MoonLmao 4 місяці тому +5

      this one comment right here is such a relic of the past

  • @wojtekpolska1013
    @wojtekpolska1013 Рік тому +17

    1:45 "If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment" Lol

  • @theaviator1152
    @theaviator1152 3 роки тому +483

    “...So you were gone until you returned?”

    • @devilsadvocate6381
      @devilsadvocate6381 3 роки тому +11

      Naturally

    • @waldoman7
      @waldoman7 3 роки тому +22

      A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He returns precisely when he is no longer gone.

    • @waldoman7
      @waldoman7 3 роки тому +1

      Hmm, actually there is one case of a guy being here even before he returned from leaving. I suppose this lawyer must have had to try Jesus at some point.

    • @MissPoplarLeaf
      @MissPoplarLeaf 3 роки тому +2

      Just like people die when they are killed!

  • @thaias9654
    @thaias9654 3 роки тому +2675

    “How many times have you _committed suicide?”_
    “Four Times”

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 3 роки тому +175

      Lawyers are probably more used to saying "committed suicide" than "attempted", so they just said the former by mistake, and the client didn't notice.

    • @abdisaniini
      @abdisaniini 3 роки тому +61

      @@japanpanda2179 It's still hilarious though lol

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 3 роки тому +26

      @@abdisaniini Totally

    • @load-bearingcoconut5586
      @load-bearingcoconut5586 3 роки тому +52

      @Ayoub Habou "what school did you go to?" "Oral"

    • @voidofspaceandtime4684
      @voidofspaceandtime4684 3 роки тому +14

      i cannot believe you have commited suicide!

  • @emilio1044
    @emilio1044 3 роки тому +608

    I love how the start (Wright preparing himself with Apollo) made it look like they were in a competition of who would ask the dumbest thing

    • @leesanda77
      @leesanda77 2 роки тому +9

      Here is your first comment. Also I know and I bet Edgeworth was also in on it.

    • @RiskoPlexus
      @RiskoPlexus Рік тому +5

      That actually sounds like something they’d have to really try hard for 😂

  • @BuriedFlame
    @BuriedFlame Рік тому +35

    _"All you r answers must be oral"_
    *proceeds to ask something completely stupid*
    _"Oral."_

  • @Lordeevee
    @Lordeevee 3 роки тому +64

    "You say the stairs went down...did they go up as well?"
    "My son is 20...much like your IQ"

  • @mialuckman9946
    @mialuckman9946 3 роки тому +5798

    “How old is your son, the one living with you?”
    “38 or 35, I can’t remember”
    “And how long has he been living with you?”
    “45 years”

    • @sohomplayz
      @sohomplayz 3 роки тому +172

      Wait n-

    • @white_mochi
      @white_mochi 3 роки тому +262

      Wait a minute
      WAIT A MINUTE

    • @thunderclanliveson1
      @thunderclanliveson1 3 роки тому +97

      Sus

    • @timothymclean
      @timothymclean 3 роки тому +181

      I mean, it's funny, but it's not hard to see how someone could accidentally say 45 instead of 35. So not sus on its own.

    • @aionicthunder
      @aionicthunder 3 роки тому +123

      “Sir, what is your IQ?”

  • @JustinRed624
    @JustinRed624 3 роки тому +2998

    These are on "People die when they are killed" level

    • @erille712
      @erille712 3 роки тому +73

      Same as "i made water wet" level

    • @shikikankillzone4239
      @shikikankillzone4239 3 роки тому +151

      _"People die when they are killed"_
      _"The floor here is made out of floor"_
      _"If you hard, then you hard"_
      _"The archer class really is made up of archers"_
      _"Why does berserker goes berserk?"_
      _"The director's the director"_
      _"So you dodged my undodgeable blow"_
      _"This city really looks like a city"_
      _"Even in ancient times, only a dragon-slayer is capable of slaying a dragon"_
      _"Just because you are correct doesn't mean you're right"_
      _"Fun things are fun"_
      _"They'll continue to live until they die"_
      _"The left arm is not the right arm"_
      _"We should use logical thinking to think logically"_
      _"If you don't want to fight me, then prove it by fighting me"_
      These will make fine additions to my collection

    • @antivirusexe2856
      @antivirusexe2856 3 роки тому +7

      With that attitude they do

    • @connorbeith3232
      @connorbeith3232 3 роки тому +48

      One of them literally is that:
      "Isn't it true when a person dies in his sleep..he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

    • @pardalmadgod9960
      @pardalmadgod9960 3 роки тому +17

      @@shikikankillzone4239 Here have a few more i heard i forget where.
      People die if they are murdered to death.
      The secret to immortality is, not dying.

  • @joshuakoby9568
    @joshuakoby9568 3 роки тому +577

    1:45 is the greatest roast I've ever seen

    • @sousorry8998
      @sousorry8998 3 роки тому +86

      @someone random when your under oath you have to tell the truth. Does that help?

    • @IfritBoi
      @IfritBoi 3 роки тому +1

      69 likes tho

    • @Kitteh328
      @Kitteh328 3 роки тому +26

      HOLY FUCK, now I get it. I didnt even realize its a roast or something rude

    • @bait5257
      @bait5257 2 роки тому

      @@Kitteh328 same

  • @yveswinters
    @yveswinters 2 роки тому +38

    i love that apollo and nick look so proud and convinced by their statements

  • @korokseed1619
    @korokseed1619 3 роки тому +22

    “If I weren’t under oath I’d return the compliment.”
    HOLY SHIT

  • @mythosinfinite6736
    @mythosinfinite6736 3 роки тому +507

    1:50
    The fact that he refused to lie under oath in his previous statement means that we can accept his statement of having committed suicide 4 times as fact. Add it to the court record.

  • @thehoodedteddy1335
    @thehoodedteddy1335 3 роки тому +362

    “Thank you, if I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment” has got to be the sickest burn I’ve heard this year.

  • @froidesprit
    @froidesprit 3 роки тому +419

    I found a whole book of these lawyer moments! It's Disorder in the Court, by Charles M Sevilla. A few of these cases where featured in it, so idk if that's where OP got it.

    • @Chessete
      @Chessete  3 роки тому +136

      That one along with the sequel by another author! Good find!

  • @Alto_C
    @Alto_C 3 роки тому +49

    0:14
    that was the exact moment Phoenix, with the help of Apollo, started what would be the most glorious debate to ever be held in that courtroom.

  • @plant7371
    @plant7371 2 роки тому +17

    The fact that all of the characters would genuinely say these in their respective situations killed me even more than the victim

  • @markus5120
    @markus5120 3 роки тому +390

    I love how you turned a bunch of dumb lawyer quotes into one cohesive trial

    • @kjl3080
      @kjl3080 3 роки тому +78

      Cohesive is a strong word.

  • @MoeJama420
    @MoeJama420 3 роки тому +265

    "I am arresting all of you."

  • @ivayia
    @ivayia 3 роки тому +4394

    i really want to know who was defending and who the witnesses for this case were irl now

    • @Daybreak81523
      @Daybreak81523 3 роки тому +632

      But how long has that man been French Canadian?

    • @amberlee787
      @amberlee787 3 роки тому +268

      @@Daybreak81523 I... Don't know how to explain.

    • @vanilla8101
      @vanilla8101 3 роки тому +218

      @@amberlee787 You don't know how to explain, but can you describe it?

    • @thespyer2k
      @thespyer2k 3 роки тому +58

      It's definitely multiple cases

    • @sporeham1674
      @sporeham1674 3 роки тому +38

      @@thespyer2k Nope. It's one, check the description

  • @TheActualAnthonino
    @TheActualAnthonino 3 роки тому +27

    I'm personally trying to see if my brain has enough capacity to fit all these quotes into the same case.

  • @Virtrial
    @Virtrial 2 роки тому +15

    This had me literally crying while laughing and having to pause the video multiple times. It's even more hilarious trying to imagine the context in which these statements were given in court. Thank you

  • @qamarhashmi9380
    @qamarhashmi9380 3 роки тому +478

    This is glorious and fits too well...

  • @lotusluminance5872
    @lotusluminance5872 3 роки тому +745

    "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to, and were able, for the time excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station..."
    *"That question should be taken out and shot."*
    My favorite.

    • @EstebanBrenesV
      @EstebanBrenesV 3 роки тому +23

      With this pne just in case is too much of a riddle it meant to ask if the first guy would have allow the other 2 if they were able to go, (also implying there was some sort of condition on the girl but asking that to be ruled out) simple made complicated to try and disrupt the witness being examined, waaaay to complicated of a logic to even be comprehended at the span of a few seconds

    • @iamthinking2252_
      @iamthinking2252_ 3 роки тому +13

      Needs a damn few semicolons and a redo

  • @wavybonez183
    @wavybonez183 3 роки тому +213

    I love how Iris slowly goes from irritation to anger to on the verge of a breakdown

  • @Prosecutor_justice
    @Prosecutor_justice Місяць тому +25

    The fact that i took a sip of my tea simultaneously with wright sent me flying 0:50

  • @grayidk
    @grayidk Місяць тому +2

    Why UA-cam thought recommending the same thing over 3 months was anywhere close to recommending this.
    This is fricking gold!!

  • @mrbuffwoopmusic8788
    @mrbuffwoopmusic8788 3 роки тому +636

    Reminds me of:
    "Dude we have the same name"
    "Really, what's your name?"
    Same energy.

  • @the_mars_bar
    @the_mars_bar 3 роки тому +3479

    the fact that cornered is playing makes this more funny
    holy shit it’s been 2 years, stop liking this comment

  • @AzumarillConGafasBv
    @AzumarillConGafasBv 3 роки тому +468

    Apollo: Doctor, do you recall the time you examined the body?
    Klavier: The autopsy started around 8 PM.
    Apollo: And he was dead at the time
    *B R U H*

    • @seanakinskywalker2619
      @seanakinskywalker2619 3 роки тому +28

      He might not have been dead yet so the autopsy would have definitely killed him

  • @cekojuna6930
    @cekojuna6930 3 роки тому +6

    That doctor is such an advanced troll and that his jokes is so simple yet so amazing once you figure out it’s double meaning. Love those legendary answers that contradicts itself.

  • @dammit3048
    @dammit3048 2 роки тому +3

    I have never heard "that question should be taken out and shot" before but it ia now my new catchphrase

  • @Marxererer
    @Marxererer 3 роки тому +617

    Every Random Among Us Lobby:

    • @kidghost69420
      @kidghost69420 3 роки тому

      How it was like 8 months ago lmfao, haven't played it since the release of the fourth map so idk

    • @null1487
      @null1487 3 роки тому

      imposter

  • @toasteroven7683
    @toasteroven7683 3 роки тому +2135

    "I show exhibit 3 and ask if you recognize the picture."
    "That's... me."
    "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
    Fell out of my chair

    • @Alex-uq1el
      @Alex-uq1el 3 роки тому +116

      And where was your chair when this happened?

    • @passingdem0n303
      @passingdem0n303 3 роки тому +73

      @@Alex-uq1el "On the ground"

    • @Alex-uq1el
      @Alex-uq1el 3 роки тому +61

      @@passingdem0n303
      But what about you?! Where were you when the chair fell?

    • @Alex-uq1el
      @Alex-uq1el 3 роки тому +42

      @Tyler Vincent
      That explains nothing! Why were you on the ground!?

    • @Alex-uq1el
      @Alex-uq1el 3 роки тому +37

      @Tyler Vincent
      You fell out of the chair, you say? But why!? Why did you fall out of your chair!?

  • @KaitoMomota11037
    @KaitoMomota11037 3 роки тому +173

    The smartass look Apollo had when asking how many times Klavier comitted suicide straight out killed me

  • @reaperofthings
    @reaperofthings 3 роки тому +101

    I’m wheezing and crying watching
    “Where was the dog at this time?”
    Iris, sobbing: “attached to the ears”
    “The Myasthenia Gravis, does it affect your memory at all?”
    Iris, still crying: “....Yes”
    “And in what ways does this affect your memory?”
    Iris, in physical pain at this point: “I forgot”

  • @benrichardson5662
    @benrichardson5662 3 роки тому +14

    Having Iris be tearing up when she asked to leave was a nice touch.

  • @diegoespinoza8997
    @diegoespinoza8997 3 роки тому +525

    They aren't just clowns, they're the whole godamm circus...

    • @livingtrashbag1077
      @livingtrashbag1077 3 роки тому +15

      They aren't just circus they are the whole carnival....
      Sorry that was a bad one

    • @woofwoof9199
      @woofwoof9199 3 роки тому +1

      @@livingtrashbag1077 no no, that was good

    • @LicenciadoLoui
      @LicenciadoLoui 3 роки тому +7

      They’re all arrested

    • @girlballsyuri
      @girlballsyuri 3 роки тому +1

      @@livingtrashbag1077 they aren't just the carnival, they're the entire organization

  • @LilacJuvia
    @LilacJuvia 3 роки тому +791

    I was JUST watching the first

  • @EmericMAMBOLE
    @EmericMAMBOLE 3 роки тому +182

    "So you were gone until you returned?"
    Emiya Shirou: Finally a worthy opponent

    • @DeltaSilver88
      @DeltaSilver88 Рік тому +6

      Also Rowen from Ronin Warriors.
      "Lady Kayura, she's a girl!"

  • @realtrickswag5986
    @realtrickswag5986 Рік тому +6

    these legitimately feel like actual ace attorney games

  • @gossamergreen2787
    @gossamergreen2787 Рік тому +5

    i'm new to this fandom and this video sent me into hysterics. how are these quotes REAL

  • @duncanfery9377
    @duncanfery9377 3 роки тому +538

    Knowing those are real quotes, I'm not sure I'm still a fan of life

    • @TheEmeraldSword04
      @TheEmeraldSword04 2 роки тому +4

      are you implying you where one at all? awfully bold...

    • @bananawithaknife
      @bananawithaknife 2 роки тому +15

      These quotes made me a bigger fan of life.

    • @DimT670
      @DimT670 2 роки тому +3

      Eh. Most of these are reasonable in context and the rest have bad phrasing

    • @DeltaSilver88
      @DeltaSilver88 Рік тому +1

      @@DimT670 And the latter makes me wonder why these lawyers even have a career. If they ask questions for a living, they should know how to phrase things better. 🤣

  • @pexoto5093
    @pexoto5093 3 роки тому +103

    "all your responses from now on must be oral okay? What school did you go to?"
    "Oral"
    Iris showing clear signs of agony and crying "Please... Just let me leave"

  • @designbookInc
    @designbookInc 3 роки тому +2

    Man an ace attorney channel! Finally UA-cam algorithm suggest me something cool!

  • @carpedm9846
    @carpedm9846 4 місяці тому +5

    "when a person dies in their sleep, they dont know until the next morning"
    Considering the spirit shenanigans, this could be an actual "oh shit" moment in the games

  • @stickk6066
    @stickk6066 3 роки тому +91

    "I am arresting all of you"
    *good ending*

  • @drakothedragon
    @drakothedragon 3 роки тому +152

    I honestly feel bad for Iris. Being tortured like this....damn.

    • @Drip_Wooper
      @Drip_Wooper 3 роки тому +21

      "I was the one who killed the victim, I killed him with a shovel, please just give me death sentece"
      "But Ms.Iris, the victim died with a gun shoot"
      "yeah yeah gun or whatever, please just kill me"

  • @ethelleandsully7547
    @ethelleandsully7547 3 роки тому +116

    Okay, I legit started crying of laughter when Klavier came in, pls do more of these (if you can)

  • @tacosquirrel9509
    @tacosquirrel9509 3 роки тому +19

    1:18 what the dog doin?

  • @dragonivy7597
    @dragonivy7597 3 роки тому +1

    There are so many new quotes that can be used for these videos.

  • @f1sh26
    @f1sh26 3 роки тому +291

    “How many times have you committed suicide?”
    There’s no fucking way a real lawyer said that.

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 3 роки тому +83

      Why not? They're probably more used to saying "committed suicide" than "attempted suicide", so when they meant the latter they said the former.

    • @f1sh26
      @f1sh26 3 роки тому +11

      @@japanpanda2179 but they would have corrected themselves.

    • @Another_Hibiki
      @Another_Hibiki 3 роки тому +11

      Well, you can help your friends at committing suicide killing them.

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 3 роки тому +22

      @@f1sh26 Maybe they did - we don't know what was said afterwards

    • @인형바보
      @인형바보 3 роки тому +13

      @@Another_Hibiki and that would be assisting suicide not commiting one

  • @crazymartin526
    @crazymartin526 3 роки тому +169

    How to lose your Iq ace attorney edition

    • @lks19
      @lks19 3 роки тому +3

      Also irl

    • @miristtotallw
      @miristtotallw 3 роки тому +2

      But after watching this I can still see pretty well, I think :o

    • @shanedoesyoutube8001
      @shanedoesyoutube8001 3 роки тому

      @@lks19 *"based on true story" more like

  • @poobertz
    @poobertz 3 роки тому +1190

    PLS WHERE DO U FIND THIS SHIT IM ASCENDING

    • @Chessete
      @Chessete  3 роки тому +361

      in tur net 👁👄👁

    • @sethgore9691
      @sethgore9691 3 роки тому +35

      @@Chessete prob reddit

    • @edgeworth6643
      @edgeworth6643 3 роки тому +2

      Internet

    • @zoegeorge9920
      @zoegeorge9920 3 роки тому +12

      @@Chessete i have no idea what this means and i really wanna know what case its from

    • @urban_rural1256
      @urban_rural1256 3 роки тому +9

      @@zoegeorge9920 he’s saying “internet”. In other words, it’s probably not too hard to find stuff kind this if you search a bit

  • @了了了
    @了了了 3 роки тому +29

    2:11 Thailand, bangkok

  • @legendgames128
    @legendgames128 3 роки тому +59

    3:57 the entire court is guilty.