Dumb Lawyer Quotes IRL but in Ace Attorney 3

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 27 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,7 тис.

  • @Chessete
    @Chessete  3 роки тому +2599

    Listen to Klavier and subscribe with the bell (So you can be the first to see part 4 when it premieres 👀)

    • @arclad84
      @arclad84 3 роки тому +5

      Looking forward to more. These are so freaking hilarious.

    • @ryanhernandez1877
      @ryanhernandez1877 3 роки тому +6

      Man, where do you find these transcripts?

    • @tako-sensei6072
      @tako-sensei6072 3 роки тому +2

      where do you learn this? your amazing.

    • @ryanhernandez1877
      @ryanhernandez1877 3 роки тому +2

      @@tako-sensei6072 Oh, just check the Dumb Lawyer Quotes in Ace Attorney 2 pinned comment. I just binged the miniseries and found that.

    • @tako-sensei6072
      @tako-sensei6072 3 роки тому

      @@ryanhernandez1877 :O ty

  • @celophane5388
    @celophane5388 3 роки тому +8941

    I think the only thing innacurate about this is that the judge has the most braincells in the courtroom

    • @DJays4
      @DJays4 3 роки тому +233

      This all is real that means the real life judges had th most brain cells

    • @kierangaming8549
      @kierangaming8549 3 роки тому +67

      I mean, he is the judge

    • @ragnarokstravius2074
      @ragnarokstravius2074 3 роки тому +251

      @@HelghastStalker I think he meant in the Ace Attorney universe, not here.
      Otherwise, most of the time, at the least the Old Man Judge is a no guts, dumb, turn passer.
      I mean, fine example of this, during the Richard Hammond case, with Manfred Von Karma basically manhandling the judge.

    • @ECODKyleskymast
      @ECODKyleskymast 3 роки тому +141

      @@ragnarokstravius2074 Also the judge allowed not only weapons and animals into the courtroom, but also the attorneys to be abused by said weapons and animals.

    • @Spore9996
      @Spore9996 3 роки тому +92

      @@ragnarokstravius2074 Or, you know, ANY of Franziska von Karma's cases where she literally whips the entire courtroom, and Phoenix in particular.

  • @DrascorTheDeath
    @DrascorTheDeath 3 роки тому +3815

    i love the fact people, during a trial, started discussing their haircuts

    • @VelmiArtrid
      @VelmiArtrid 3 роки тому +191

      It's so hard to believe that happened in a courtroom...

    • @blankness8
      @blankness8 3 роки тому +238

      Im genuinely confused about that one. The other ones I can see how they could vaguely relate in context, but how does the hair discussion help either side of the case lmao

    • @ayyylmao101
      @ayyylmao101 3 роки тому +317

      They were still in opening statements/remarks made before proceedings were to start but the reporter took it down anyway LMAO

    • @ploppyjr2373
      @ploppyjr2373 3 роки тому +41

      You can look at the case. Maybe there was actual context to it

    • @microwave8931
      @microwave8931 3 роки тому +169

      Imagine being murdered and seeing the court case of your killer and they're talking about their haircuts

  • @ezrahuszti7764
    @ezrahuszti7764 3 роки тому +5956

    "There's only one race. The human race."
    *slap* "What about pregnant!?"

  • @mialuckman9946
    @mialuckman9946 3 роки тому +5533

    Also "Judge, may we have a break so I could have a smoke?" killed me

    • @floof5359
      @floof5359 3 роки тому +481

      the judge's response is what kills me

    • @Advokaiser
      @Advokaiser 3 роки тому +161

      Yeah... a "smoke". Sure...

    • @floof5359
      @floof5359 3 роки тому +126

      @@Advokaiser what else would he do, its not like he can yknow, leave, its a short break

    • @IrvingIV
      @IrvingIV 3 роки тому +336

      I'm not sure if the reporter reading it back would be funnier if it was completely deadpan or completely serious.

    • @kos2919
      @kos2919 3 роки тому +150

      @@IrvingIV deadpan of course, especially with the voice of Raven from teen titans

  • @kirbomatic1573
    @kirbomatic1573 3 роки тому +5183

    "how tall are you?"
    "5'2 in the summer, 5'1 in the winter."
    *confused confusing confusion*

    • @howdypartner8326
      @howdypartner8326 3 роки тому +629

      appearently the witness wore different shoes in each season lol

    • @Rita-kx3yr
      @Rita-kx3yr 3 роки тому +184

      Apparently the judge and attorneys had never heard of heels.

    • @ix_risor
      @ix_risor 3 роки тому +483

      @@Rita-kx3yr height is usually measured without shoes on

    • @Holocoasterr
      @Holocoasterr 3 роки тому +318

      @@Rita-kx3yr why would you measure your height while wearing heels???

    • @Rita-kx3yr
      @Rita-kx3yr 3 роки тому +175

      @@Holocoasterr" Why?" is a great question! Well I'm assuming they wanted her height to determine her line of sight or maybe to compare it with the height of a passage or something else. In either case, giving the height you'd usually be at the time makes sense. The witness just used a shorthand for "5'1 but 5'2 in my usual heels". The confusion is understandable with how it was phrased though.

  • @voidfloof
    @voidfloof 3 роки тому +10668

    "That's... remarkable" is code word for "how the h E L L"

    • @r.pizzamonkey7379
      @r.pizzamonkey7379 3 роки тому +865

      I believe I remember reading an excerpt of that transcript and she later went on to describe that she wore different shoes but couldn't understand why that would be relevant to her height

    • @nomblob5592
      @nomblob5592 3 роки тому +195

      R. pizzamonkey Truly facepalm worthy. And its not the lawyer fault?

    • @r.pizzamonkey7379
      @r.pizzamonkey7379 3 роки тому +343

      @@nomblob5592 No this was a case where the witness was the idiot

    • @nomblob5592
      @nomblob5592 3 роки тому +157

      R. pizzamonkey And here I thought PW cross examination is ridiculous enough. Real life witness is stranger than fiction

    • @AHBelt
      @AHBelt 3 роки тому +27

      @@r.pizzamonkey7379 The height of heels of women's shoes and boots can vary a lot.

  • @Taifun_TV
    @Taifun_TV 3 роки тому +15572

    The worst part is that it fits AA perfectly, but then you remember it was said irl

    • @f-kiska9079
      @f-kiska9079 3 роки тому +82

      Не ожидала тебя здесь...

    • @janLilin
      @janLilin 3 роки тому +222

      Except for 1:11

    • @1337dun
      @1337dun 3 роки тому +10

      балдеж

    • @thelastmlg2699
      @thelastmlg2699 3 роки тому +216

      @@janLilin if AA was rated M

    • @janLilin
      @janLilin 3 роки тому +111

      @@thelastmlg2699 we're very lucky DD didn't have a rape case at least

  • @enteikarino6921
    @enteikarino6921 3 роки тому +4541

    “How did you know the teeth came from a dead man?”
    “They weren’t moving.”
    I’m hyperventilating.

    • @iota-09
      @iota-09 3 роки тому +431

      I'm seriously wondering if they meant the body or the teeth, and i have now very mixed feelings about that

    • @sophiesleeps12
      @sophiesleeps12 3 роки тому +125

      @@iota-09 I understood that as if he was talking about the teeth and I didn't question it

    • @BrassWing
      @BrassWing 3 роки тому +8

      No you're not

    • @evanchauvey5417
      @evanchauvey5417 3 роки тому +41

      This one legit made me pause for a few minutes cause I was laughing so hard and ended up choking on my own spit.

    • @silly_.rabbit2
      @silly_.rabbit2 2 роки тому +43

      Imagine you're just takin a nap and a dentist comes out of nowhere and steals your teeth

  • @lizardperson780
    @lizardperson780 3 роки тому +5234

    Imagine having such a good connection with Jesus that he tells you day-by-day whether to go to work or not

    • @npc6817
      @npc6817 3 роки тому +676

      Hey g-man how's the weather?
      Don't go to court this Wednesday, the vibes are straight up wack.
      You're a real one, thanks chief.

    • @doppelgangervortex
      @doppelgangervortex 3 роки тому +14

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @bug1494
      @bug1494 3 роки тому +292

      "Hey lawyer your pretty cool. Dont go to the courthouse tommorrow." "Uh, thanks jesus."

    • @npc6817
      @npc6817 3 роки тому +114

      @@bug1494 you make it sound like christ himself will shoot up a courthouse.

    • @donaldlarrimoreIII
      @donaldlarrimoreIII 3 роки тому +57

      Some people are truly like that, all jokes aside.

  • @averysketchygamer3241
    @averysketchygamer3241 3 роки тому +6185

    Whenever I'm called to Jury, I hope I get to witness a situation as wild as these

    • @genoteh9706
      @genoteh9706 3 роки тому +257

      I really hope you dont get called to jury never

    • @byel2844
      @byel2844 3 роки тому +91

      @@genoteh9706 wholesome??

    • @DimitriSlobodianyk
      @DimitriSlobodianyk 3 роки тому +63

      @@genoteh9706 if you tell them you know about Jury Nullification they won't call you to Jury.

    • @jasper3706
      @jasper3706 3 роки тому +25

      @@DimitriSlobodianyk That's only if you intend to do it.

    • @hesiod_delta9209
      @hesiod_delta9209 3 роки тому +13

      Can I use jury-null to abstain from jury-duty?

  • @tilaNmanx
    @tilaNmanx 3 роки тому +8145

    Ok the Maya's height thing feels like it's straight out of Ace Attorney lmao

    • @mertensiam3384
      @mertensiam3384 3 роки тому +185

      It does

    • @patrickdees5256
      @patrickdees5256 3 роки тому +267

      Way to close to Ace Attorney.

    • @weebjeez
      @weebjeez 3 роки тому +517

      It does.
      And, I guess... it is? Since when her sister's spirit takes over her body, she DOES grow taller.

    • @tilaNmanx
      @tilaNmanx 3 роки тому +41

      @@weebjeez omg

    • @astox.o5978
      @astox.o5978 3 роки тому +178

      @@weebjeez wait, wait, does it mean that maya's possessed by mia all the time during summer??

  • @Lem_Gaming
    @Lem_Gaming 3 роки тому +5847

    If you ever thought that Ace Attorney had quotes that would never be used irl, you were wrong.

    • @zoenorvell4202
      @zoenorvell4202 3 роки тому +42

      tbh, i might use them too.

    • @ryanhernandez1877
      @ryanhernandez1877 3 роки тому +114

      Art imitates truth that is stranger than fiction.
      ...Or something like that?

    • @diegodeluquev1433
      @diegodeluquev1433 3 роки тому +28

      Please bring the parrot!

    • @_stupidbro
      @_stupidbro 3 роки тому +18

      @@diegodeluquev1433 That actually happened, too

    • @alexs.7956
      @alexs.7956 2 роки тому +2

      Yes XD

  • @angelthedog7614
    @angelthedog7614 3 роки тому +9202

    "Do you know what foreskin is?"
    "No.."
    Ohh boy.

    • @al_fletcher
      @al_fletcher 3 роки тому +1363

      “Judge, may we have a break so I could go get a smoke?”
      “Yes, I think we could all use one.”

    • @polarknight5376
      @polarknight5376 3 роки тому +850

      @@al_fletcher that lawyer was 100% a pervert and knew exactly what he was doing.

    • @Dragongaming-sf8gc
      @Dragongaming-sf8gc 3 роки тому +41

      I7TUTHTUBFHGUH UTTHGHFYG I DON'T LIKE IT

    • @averagebear7648
      @averagebear7648 3 роки тому +540

      “Do you know what a German helmet looks like?”

    • @seapop2629
      @seapop2629 3 роки тому +330

      Now imagine a dick wearing a german helmet

  • @absoluteunit8334
    @absoluteunit8334 3 роки тому +943

    "My client is described as chocolate"
    "How would you describe her"
    "P R E G N A N T."

  • @GippyHappy
    @GippyHappy 3 роки тому +5949

    Edgeworth: “No one would willingly have something inserted into their butt”
    Apollo: “....uh yeah about that-“

    • @infernaldisdain8051
      @infernaldisdain8051 3 роки тому +818

      Is a very Edgeworth quote too.

    • @npc6817
      @npc6817 3 роки тому +550

      @@infernaldisdain8051 bold quote for a bottom

    • @infernaldisdain8051
      @infernaldisdain8051 3 роки тому +488

      @@npc6817 You assume he'd have sex. He may have lost his perfect prosecution streak, but he'll never let anyone take his virginity.

    • @npc6817
      @npc6817 3 роки тому +1265

      @@infernaldisdain8051 "I never lost my virginity because I never lose" -Miles Edgeworth

    • @ryuuisnothere
      @ryuuisnothere 3 роки тому +375

      @@npc6817 sounds like something manfred von karma would say but thats even better

  • @shiomicchi7247
    @shiomicchi7247 3 роки тому +618

    "My client is neither a drunk nor a duck!"
    ok fairs
    "WHAT THE PROSECUTOR HAS DONE IN THIS CASE IS CREATE A HYBRID BIRD THAT IS A CROSS BETWEEN A PHEASENT AND A DUCK!"
    How tf-

    • @Alblaka
      @Alblaka 2 роки тому +132

      It's just a pre-amble to the follow-up of accusing the prosecution to be 'phucking' with the defendant. Honestly, it's a pretty clever line-up.

    • @RipOffProductionsLLC
      @RipOffProductionsLLC Місяць тому

      That bit was great, I laughed so hard I threw up a little on my mouth...

  • @hohohoupufuru
    @hohohoupufuru 3 роки тому +4521

    Ah yes, the most notable of all duck-pheasant hybrids, the P H U C K

    • @timothytobias9107
      @timothytobias9107 3 роки тому +257

      At least the prosecutor gives a phuck for the client

    • @user-le8ul4nr5t
      @user-le8ul4nr5t 3 роки тому +129

      Phun fact: pacman was almost named puck man.

    • @ikrena4701
      @ikrena4701 3 роки тому +99

      That was actually a clever pun ngl

    • @Invaeyncible
      @Invaeyncible 3 роки тому +108

      I was hoping that the defendant was gonna say that under ruling of the wild-life preservation act, he can not be imprisoned, because he is a strange hybrid bird.

    • @Mayooriki
      @Mayooriki 3 роки тому +17

      I don't give a P-H-U-C-K about ducks

  • @MADKapo
    @MADKapo 3 роки тому +1009

    The "Did you smell the bowel movements?" really feels like an Ace Attorney moment, insisting on something that seems stupid at first but actually reveals that the witness knows more than they let on.

    • @redshirtveteran5688
      @redshirtveteran5688 2 роки тому +41

      True. Because what if he were wearing someone else's pants?!

    • @TheEepyMagi
      @TheEepyMagi 2 роки тому +1

      I never really thought about how the smell of post-mortem bowel movements influence murder investigations and trials... not sure i even wanted to, but oh well.

    • @orelas167
      @orelas167 2 роки тому +55

      Love how the judge called out the attorney's "improper" question and then the attorney recovered.

  • @3flax554
    @3flax554 3 роки тому +9530

    “My client is described as chocolate.”
    “How do you describe her?”
    “Pregnant.”
    I can only assume everybody in that court was a stoner or something.

    • @MyDogIsYoshi
      @MyDogIsYoshi 3 роки тому +325

      He must be colorblind, because he doesn't see race.

    • @apossiblyhereticalalphaleg3595
      @apossiblyhereticalalphaleg3595 3 роки тому +93

      It was in Minneapolis it makes sense

    • @Diwasho
      @Diwasho 3 роки тому +230

      Being pregnant is a more distinct characteristic than being of color, I don't see what's wrong with this quote. In fact, most of these quotes probably sound, well, _sound_ in their original context.

    • @squirrel_killer-
      @squirrel_killer- 3 роки тому +166

      @@Diwasho they are often rebuttals to preceived stupid. Or attempts to confound the other parties into saying something that incriminates them, provides something to hook onto to save a doomed case, or results in swaying jury or judge just enough to avoid an undesirable ruling.
      After all as a defense, the goal isn't to convince the room. It's to convince one person enough that they can't rule guilty.
      These often look to be defendants saying the crazy things. Hoping they plant some weird seed of doubt in a single mind. You only need to get one person to avoid a guilty ruling. The system relies on all or nothing rulings. All guilty or innocent.

    • @T.Gundham
      @T.Gundham 3 роки тому +6

      Chocolate just means black???

  • @Kiruklee
    @Kiruklee 3 роки тому +3995

    Edgeworth: I am not acquainted with them.
    [Doubt Intensifies]

    • @grosebud4721
      @grosebud4721 3 роки тому +173

      It’s also klapollo, because Apollo is the one who mentioned that it happens

    • @eafesaf6934
      @eafesaf6934 3 роки тому +24

      @@grosebud4721 are you kidding me

    • @Squirl7504
      @Squirl7504 3 роки тому +1

      +

    • @SamySamy-db8uu
      @SamySamy-db8uu 3 роки тому +8

      I WEEZED

    • @tacosquirrel9509
      @tacosquirrel9509 3 роки тому +48

      We'll just have to aek pheonix to sustain that statment, if you know what I mean

  • @a_soup_can
    @a_soup_can 3 роки тому +4088

    Fun fact: Most people had a sphincter spasm during this video

    • @dracodeanglicus3857
      @dracodeanglicus3857 3 роки тому +566

      Fun fact: some of them had bowel movements.

    • @Bzorlan
      @Bzorlan 3 роки тому +695

      @@dracodeanglicus3857 how do you know? Did you smell their bowel movements?

    • @skyrimlover777
      @skyrimlover777 3 роки тому +246

      How dare you post this while I'm watching this in the bathroom.
      Not necessarily using it, but I was in one.

    • @dracodeanglicus3857
      @dracodeanglicus3857 3 роки тому +187

      @@Bzorlan smelled like crap...

    • @junejj2127
      @junejj2127 3 роки тому +9

      A who-?

  • @Km-qo6ex
    @Km-qo6ex 3 роки тому +5288

    Everyone's talking about the penis and foreskin thing but is nobody going to point out that the case at 2:39 has a guy that refrigerated his own semen?

    • @Kbmands
      @Kbmands 3 роки тому +938

      And how Redd White is the perfect character for that line. Omfg.

    • @tokiWren
      @tokiWren 3 роки тому +831

      in his OFFICE

    • @veterayt6800
      @veterayt6800 3 роки тому +491

      So he has cum jars in his fridge?

    • @goatslayer3160
      @goatslayer3160 3 роки тому +449

      @@veterayt6800 He was saving it for later.

    • @goncalocarneiro3043
      @goncalocarneiro3043 3 роки тому +264

      Maybe it was being kept for the purposes of using it as a projectile at a later date? It is certainly a possibility.

  • @dajmo2369
    @dajmo2369 3 роки тому +308

    10:57, two things:
    1- I’m surprised she actually did that
    2- I hope the second round was said with the most serious flat voice she could pull off

    • @Moleoflands
      @Moleoflands 3 роки тому +63

      Sexual harassment at the workplace

    • @aurelia8028
      @aurelia8028 Місяць тому

      ​@Moleoflands you don't know what sexual harassment is

  • @juanokug4
    @juanokug4 3 роки тому +843

    "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, WHETHER HE WAS CIRCUMCISED IS *VITAL* TO THE CASE"

    • @schwellenangst1605
      @schwellenangst1605 3 роки тому +54

      It kinda is?????

    • @schwellenangst1605
      @schwellenangst1605 3 роки тому +3

      Don't wooosh me bro

    • @juanokug4
      @juanokug4 3 роки тому +17

      @@schwellenangst1605 I'm not a redditor
      But you should take a joke

    • @screamsinrussian5773
      @screamsinrussian5773 3 роки тому +1

      @@schwellenangst1605 no

    • @Mara_1337
      @Mara_1337 3 роки тому +91

      I don't understand how people don't see that it's actually important?
      It does sound ridiculous of course. But like, it's clear why he wants to know

  • @hemlockolympic
    @hemlockolympic 3 роки тому +864

    For some reason, Gumshoe sadly declaring "There is no button..." Made me cackle like a madwoman.

    • @yuichikita6018
      @yuichikita6018 Рік тому +15

      Very in character.

    • @baofleurence7650
      @baofleurence7650 10 місяців тому +11

      Because Gumshoe wouldn't have enough money to replace his button.

    • @shotgunguy1993
      @shotgunguy1993 Місяць тому

      that’s the first time i’ve ever heard someone use the term “madwoman”

  • @Gemarald
    @Gemarald 3 роки тому +3875

    This man has control over the youtube algorithm and i could not be happier.

  • @nicolassycamore
    @nicolassycamore 3 роки тому +3228

    "i am not acquaintanced with them" - miles edgeworth, desperately trying to hold the closet doors shut

    • @microwave8931
      @microwave8931 3 роки тому +171

      That can be interpreted in a few ways

    • @lightningfletch5598
      @lightningfletch5598 3 роки тому +61

      Phrasing

    • @nito575
      @nito575 Рік тому +22

      ​@@microwave8931 Both are gay, that's what matters.

  • @commandolando901
    @commandolando901 3 роки тому +332

    Did you smell his bowel movements?
    (Cornered starts playing)
    That broke me lmao

  • @TheDedictvi
    @TheDedictvi 3 роки тому +1722

    Feels like these were ripped straight out of AO cases.

    • @thevengefulone57
      @thevengefulone57 3 роки тому +31

      Yeah, they do.

    • @firetarrasque4667
      @firetarrasque4667 3 роки тому +152

      @Eric Lee Ace OH!-tourney, because the plot twist make you go OH!

    • @gokentopower4481
      @gokentopower4481 3 роки тому +163

      Attorney Online, you witnesses

    • @BroudbrunMusicMerge
      @BroudbrunMusicMerge 3 роки тому +16

      @@gokentopower4481 The case-making site or the RP tool?

    • @gokentopower4481
      @gokentopower4481 3 роки тому +20

      @@BroudbrunMusicMerge Nono, he said it looks like one of the random cases you might get in AO, the game itself
      I think that's what he meant
      I have no idea anymore

  • @W-2Forms
    @W-2Forms 3 роки тому +153

    The attorney knew exactly what he was doing when asking the reporter to read back the moans 💀

  • @starbound100
    @starbound100 3 роки тому +379

    First time I come across one of these...just when you think "Ace Attorney is an exageration, there's no way real life court can be this chaotic or insane"...

    • @xxx_jim_the_reaper_xxx
      @xxx_jim_the_reaper_xxx 3 роки тому +19

      Ace Attorney series do portray how the most ideal lawyers can excel through the most ridiculous of cases but real life cases has always been this stupidly laughable at best.

  • @michaeledmunds7266
    @michaeledmunds7266 3 роки тому +1812

    "As of now, the message is going to be that you're going into custody."
    Destruction 100

  • @teclinsoro4523
    @teclinsoro4523 3 роки тому +256

    “i’m 5’2 in the summer and 5’1 in the winter” is so in character for maya

  • @billy-the-butcher
    @billy-the-butcher 3 роки тому +373

    These videos have convinced me that the only non-realistic part of Ace Attorney is Maya getting possessed by Mia

  • @Dark_Slayer3000
    @Dark_Slayer3000 3 роки тому +2027

    "how tall are you?"
    "9cm when looking at you, 24cm when looking at your mom"

    • @dracodeanglicus3857
      @dracodeanglicus3857 3 роки тому +77

      “Like, 4 or 5 levels right now my dude”

    • @shiningarmor2838
      @shiningarmor2838 3 роки тому +64

      You are like a little baby. Watch this:
      *P R E G N A N T*

    • @primordialsun
      @primordialsun 3 роки тому +31

      No officer, it's "Tall, how are you?"

    • @bubbykins4864
      @bubbykins4864 3 роки тому +1

      @@primordialsun "Gul'dan, and what, must we give in return?" ~your reply

    • @TheRoland19111
      @TheRoland19111 3 роки тому +1

      You have to involve race in that?

  • @EndFright
    @EndFright 3 роки тому +994

    I didn't even realize we segregated our prison populations by whether or not they have AIDS. Guess you learn something new, whether it be true or not, every day.

    • @gormauslander
      @gormauslander 3 роки тому +163

      I also learned today that we have prisons for fishing and hunting

    • @juanferrer5924
      @juanferrer5924 3 роки тому +62

      Sounds awful but then you think of the frequency of prison rape

    • @yourmum69_420
      @yourmum69_420 3 роки тому +23

      @Tyler Vincent he was racist because he didn't want to get aids?

    • @ceoofcapitalism
      @ceoofcapitalism 3 роки тому +4

      @Tyler Vincent Then how do you know it?

    • @tomasbeltran04050
      @tomasbeltran04050 3 роки тому +10

      @Tyler Vincent so you like nascar?

  • @karabirb
    @karabirb 3 роки тому +207

    Okay the sperm donor guy being Redd White of Bluecorp. is just SO fucking perfect tho, I’m losing my shit that’s exactly how he talks

  • @kppzz
    @kppzz 3 роки тому +458

    "Do you wear corrective glasses?"
    "..............." *awkward zoom*
    "There are three of you?"
    I mean, that's pretty relatable.

    • @Karak-_-
      @Karak-_- Рік тому +4

      How would that even work?
      You see double when brain can't put left and right eye tohether, but how would you get 3?

    • @Fragmentsinfractals488
      @Fragmentsinfractals488 Рік тому +9

      @@Karak-_- He might also be drinking...... maybe.

    • @kppzz
      @kppzz Рік тому +9

      @@Karak-_- he's seeing the holy trinity: father, son and holy layton

  • @whawhawhawhaaaa
    @whawhawhawhaaaa 3 роки тому +1860

    Nobody: What's your skin color?
    Me: P R E G N A N T

  • @Lunarman327
    @Lunarman327 3 роки тому +966

    Jesus christ, the one from 2:39 to 4:17 could almost perfectly fit into AA somehow. It's so insane and such a shit web of lies that it just works.

    • @xenrusxenomorph2268
      @xenrusxenomorph2268 3 роки тому +214

      If you tone it down I could perfectly see this as some bizarre dlcs case where White is trying to take custody of a child that may or may not be his for the money only. Because tax write of if you have a child. Mr white is the kind of man to do that.

    • @agiar2000
      @agiar2000 3 роки тому +260

      "Of course, I always keep a jar of my own semen in my office mini-fridge, for JUST SUCH AN OCCASION!! _I sUrE hOpE nO oNe StEaLs It!!"_

    • @xenrusxenomorph2268
      @xenrusxenomorph2268 3 роки тому +58

      @@agiar2000 That begs the question though.. He set this up as a huge publicity scandal. Now the problem is wither or not we give him a guilty or not guilty verdict.. Since He definitely ruined somenoe's life for this court case and somehow its still not his own.

    • @iLiketoLaugh123
      @iLiketoLaugh123 3 роки тому +151

      ​@@agiar2000 This guy canonically has a golden desk supported by naked statues of himself. If any character in the entire AA series has such a mini-fridge, it's going to be him.

  • @cakeyeater7392
    @cakeyeater7392 3 роки тому +305

    That last case, omfg. She could have just said moans or heavy breathing. But then, on top of that, he asked the reporter to read it back! Hilarious

  • @nitumaki3817
    @nitumaki3817 3 роки тому +641

    ngl, this is the funniest shit i have seen in awhile, good way to close off 2020

  • @lucabun
    @lucabun 3 роки тому +258

    I will devote my life to law school if it means I can witness this shit happen in real live courts.

    • @joyeeverett6196
      @joyeeverett6196 3 роки тому

      SAME!

    • @dragonslair951167
      @dragonslair951167 Рік тому +14

      Don't need a law degree. Most court cases are open to the public. You could just pop on over to the courthouse tomorrow if you wanted.

    • @dahlgalai
      @dahlgalai Рік тому +9

      If you went to law school, there are chances that you're not just witness it. You're the one who does it 😂

  • @chronica6457
    @chronica6457 3 роки тому +1621

    "What sound did he make as he was coming"
    "Could I ask the court reporter to read that last answer"
    What a lad

  • @andrewpappas9311
    @andrewpappas9311 3 роки тому +278

    These were beautiful, I couldn't stop laughing at how dumb these sounded and how accurately these could fit in with Phoenix Wright

  • @adrienstarfaer
    @adrienstarfaer 3 роки тому +72

    The way the judge just confusedly says "What" at 9:04 just kills me 🤣

  • @AbsolXGuardian
    @AbsolXGuardian 3 роки тому +71

    11:28 The poor reporter who had to transcribe that....

  • @timothymclean
    @timothymclean 3 роки тому +107

    In Ace Attorney, just about every little, seemingly-unimportant detail is important to the case. Real lawyers can't rely on conservation of detail; they have to use their own judgement to guess whether or not a given detail will be important. And it's usually safer to ask than not to...

  • @lordofmagnusfolia8024
    @lordofmagnusfolia8024 3 роки тому +681

    Me, every five seconds: **softly** "don't..."
    Also me every five seconds: **has to check pulse**

  • @xenrusxenomorph2268
    @xenrusxenomorph2268 3 роки тому +93

    3:00 -4:00 Mr Red White trying to get child support of a kid that may not even be his own for the tax write of 2020 colorized.

  • @gokentopower4481
    @gokentopower4481 3 роки тому +477

    ' and the same argument can be made as it would relate to drunks and that's exactly what the defendant is'
    Are we just gonna ignore this lethal roast

  • @cawareyoudoin7379
    @cawareyoudoin7379 3 роки тому +533

    This came out almost exactly when 2021 came in my timezone. Let's hope with this, we can leave stupidity and bullshit behind.

    • @magnum155
      @magnum155 3 роки тому +26

      Ain't gonna happen, sorry. But hey, at least we can meme about it.

    • @gratedshtick
      @gratedshtick 3 роки тому +9

      It will comeback tenfold

    • @cawareyoudoin7379
      @cawareyoudoin7379 3 роки тому +6

      @@magnum155 Sorry, but that sounds highly negative, and I've got that already in my brain 24/7.

    • @cawareyoudoin7379
      @cawareyoudoin7379 3 роки тому +1

      @@gratedshtick But maybe in a fun fun silly willy way at least? Poit

    • @crazy338866
      @crazy338866 3 роки тому +3

      This is a sign that it's only getting worse.

  • @AE86FTS
    @AE86FTS 3 роки тому +769

    So many of these are from California. I can't say I'm surprised tho.

    • @General12th
      @General12th 3 роки тому +126

      California has 1/8th the US population. It stands to reason it would have 1/8th the number of court cases.

    • @AlexCreeper
      @AlexCreeper 3 роки тому +54

      @@General12th but its the most chaotic

    • @BlurryNova
      @BlurryNova 3 роки тому +109

      Im surprised its not Florida with the most chaotic court cases. With Florida man and such.

    • @kikiretzorg1467
      @kikiretzorg1467 3 роки тому +92

      @@BlurryNova Florida has all of those news reports because the law is so lax on what the news is and isn't allowed to report. In the sheets, though...
      And yes I just called courtrooms "the sheets"

    • @michaeledmunds7266
      @michaeledmunds7266 3 роки тому +20

      I'm Californian and can confirm

  • @VonKey.
    @VonKey. 3 роки тому +147

    _Thanks for keeping the fanbase alive. This is gold._

  • @pittagiiya
    @pittagiiya 3 роки тому +88

    "Did something come out?"
    "Yes."
    "What color was it?"
    WHAT

  • @anthonyradford8605
    @anthonyradford8605 2 роки тому +27

    “Could I ask the court recorder to read back the last 3 answers?”
    I LOST IT LMAO

  • @flowersandfloriography
    @flowersandfloriography 3 роки тому +92

    "Did it look like it was wearing a german helmet or a turtleneck sweater?" excuse me while I go die from wheezing

  • @prplghst5141
    @prplghst5141 3 роки тому +81

    "Could you smell his bowel movements?"
    "WHAT!!!"

  • @AzenHawke
    @AzenHawke 3 роки тому +74

    10:56 holy shit, this is insane, i cannot believe this actually happened in the real world

  • @brendancorey7831
    @brendancorey7831 3 роки тому +18

    The idea of Phoenix, Edgeworth, and the judge smoking behind the courthouse like those kids from 80s movies behind their school amuses me

  • @coco_donut
    @coco_donut 3 роки тому +522

    “Judge, may we have a break so I can have a smoke?”
    “Yes I think we could all use one”
    Mood

  • @zadenhomunculus8652
    @zadenhomunculus8652 3 роки тому +96

    Me: "That quote was from the Christopher Armin case in Los Angeles."
    My Dad: "That was real? I thought it was from that attorney game you bought."
    Me: "It's too hard to discern truth from fiction nowadays because they are equally absurd."

  • @TheGreatBackUpVIDEOS
    @TheGreatBackUpVIDEOS 3 роки тому +126

    That last one....I can't believe he got away with that question...

  • @millicentwood549
    @millicentwood549 3 роки тому +116

    I love you
    Entire segment of 8:53 had me crying

  • @malefico0079
    @malefico0079 3 роки тому +154

    That reminds me a case years ago in my country. The hitman was sentenced by "simple murder", but his lawyer speak like he comited assasination. The judge stop him and say: "you want your client 20 more years?" Oh boi, we laugh so Hard.

  • @ppleakage2785
    @ppleakage2785 3 роки тому +441

    Bruh, Herr Forehead is really offended by someone else’s haircut

  • @vincenttorrijos9680
    @vincenttorrijos9680 3 роки тому +22

    These have me convinced lawyers aren’t actually smart, just very good at arguing and investigating under the law

  • @connorhughes8291
    @connorhughes8291 3 роки тому +751

    how can i find the transcript of these cases? i would love to see how some of the cases went afterwords lmao
    edit: Found the book most of these are from "Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History" and also "Law and Disorder: Absurdly Funny Moments from the Courts"

    • @Chessete
      @Chessete  3 роки тому +199

      its a shame it doesn't show how it goes after but maybe thats for the better

    • @ZorkasIshmael
      @ZorkasIshmael 3 роки тому +21

      Ok, I don't care how much they cost, I'm going to Amazon. BRB

    • @connorhughes8291
      @connorhughes8291 3 роки тому +14

      @@ZorkasIshmael only like $10 on kindle

    • @ZorkasIshmael
      @ZorkasIshmael 3 роки тому +11

      @@connorhughes8291 Thanks for the info

    • @Pavlinka__
      @Pavlinka__ 3 роки тому +26

      Thanks!
      One day I went to a library and there was this old book that was a translation of a 19th century book about funny French cases. And in France, the court also investigates the crimes, so it was all aboutthe investigations and the court days and it was great and I can't find it anymore, I shoul've stolen it. Anyway. Books about court cases are cool.

  • @cryolocker0224
    @cryolocker0224 3 роки тому +15

    7:45 I love the pursuit music that comes on as soon as he said it

    • @tahamohammad8842
      @tahamohammad8842 8 місяців тому +1

      And the fact that it’s cornered 2004 variation, the very last thing you hear before you corner the killer of bridge to the turnabout in the climax of the entire trilogy just makes it exponentially funnier

  • @akitainu3989
    @akitainu3989 3 роки тому +57

    What perfect timing! I was just recommended the previous ones!

  • @annothernoob
    @annothernoob 2 роки тому +21

    11:32 this guy knew what he was doing and i wish i could reach that level of trollege

  • @yassfishy
    @yassfishy 3 роки тому +41

    i love that you put the chapters with the cases in the vid, its neat dude

  • @zyvan3179
    @zyvan3179 3 роки тому +65

    Literally just saw the first vids 4 hours ago. The algorithm is insane today

  • @haymyellow1880
    @haymyellow1880 3 роки тому +45

    I AM NOT ACQUAINYED WITH THEM

  • @godoatthegoat2884
    @godoatthegoat2884 3 роки тому +35

    Starting to realize this series is WAAAAYYY more realistic than I thought.

  • @grandbean9031
    @grandbean9031 3 роки тому +190

    Did the judge and prosecution SERIOUSLY think that anal sex just isn't a thing people enjoy recreationally?

    • @raerohan4241
      @raerohan4241 3 роки тому +28

      Might have been in a very conservative area
      Edit: realised it was in Boston. I do not know what Boston is like. If it isn't conservative, it might have been a trial from a while back. If it's not, the judge and prosecutor could both be sheltered, I guess

    • @grandbean9031
      @grandbean9031 3 роки тому +51

      @@raerohan4241 But that is ignorance to the point where they really shouldn't be judging or prosecuting anybody. You can't be a judge and not know about anal, considering that implies you also don't know anything about gay people who most practice it and also the rape of men is usually through anal. All of this is so basic and crucial even 20 years ago that it's ridiculous.

    • @raerohan4241
      @raerohan4241 3 роки тому +14

      @@grandbean9031 Hey, it’s just speculation. I really don’t know any other realistic reason they might not have known. But whatever the reason, they didn’t know. And well, no one ever said the American legal system was perfect

    • @grandbean9031
      @grandbean9031 3 роки тому +6

      @@raerohan4241 Yeah sorry if I sound angry at you. Just buffled at the overall idea.

    • @Messilegend1000
      @Messilegend1000 3 роки тому +1

      @@grandbean9031 Do you really think they care about rape against men? Get a life. We men are, and perhaps always will be, fodder and machinery. Our own kin will turn away if we are wronged.

  • @BeanieBabyXx
    @BeanieBabyXx 3 роки тому +40

    People say court in real life is more serious but the fact that all these quotes are so fitting in the ACE ATTORNEY universe says a lot about real life lawyers.
    11:52 why does that feel like something Edgeworth would say even tho he probably doesn't smoke?

  • @lavish95
    @lavish95 3 роки тому +48

    "That was a great start" killed me

  • @sh1ftyy
    @sh1ftyy 3 роки тому +156

    The fact that the case made by an AI is better than most of these is honestly disturbing...

  • @silersun4458
    @silersun4458 3 роки тому +40

    Dahlia just went beyond super saiyan with that one.

  • @jacklazer2301
    @jacklazer2301 3 роки тому +36

    This mad lad actually put the cases on..... And honestly. Hell yea, hope you do more great work

  • @brandongreenland9632
    @brandongreenland9632 3 роки тому +14

    7:40
    I love how this is a genuine, bonafide objection worthy moment

  • @Dark_Slayer3000
    @Dark_Slayer3000 3 роки тому +80

    11:20 Marc Blessoff(, Chicago)
    Is a perverted genius :c

    • @edulopes5502
      @edulopes5502 3 роки тому +20

      Yeah I really want to know if there's a recording of that XD

    • @TRRailfan
      @TRRailfan 3 роки тому +19

      @@edulopes5502 go to horny jail _bonk_

  • @loretapalekyte5678
    @loretapalekyte5678 3 роки тому +118

    god bless u for blessing me with this content after I've just finished watching the previous two happy new year

  • @DeathJ0ckey
    @DeathJ0ckey 3 роки тому +122

    10:04 man knew he would inevitably drop the soap. wanted to at least be healthy afterwards.

  • @lefishe5476
    @lefishe5476 3 роки тому +14

    For 7:00, I think the lawyer was just trying to avoid an objection for asking a leading question.
    Hilarious vid tho nice job!

  • @KP0p1437
    @KP0p1437 3 роки тому +88

    3:34 hol up, back up. Don't gloss it over as if it's normal for a man to have refrigerated sperm in his office's fridge 😭

  • @rjgarcia3834
    @rjgarcia3834 3 роки тому +23

    Sphincter Spasm
    I am learning something new.

  • @aikotitilai3820
    @aikotitilai3820 3 роки тому +20

    11:22 I can't believe it was real

  • @thaias9654
    @thaias9654 3 роки тому +33

    How someone gains/loses an inch of height depending on the season is beyond me. And beyond everyone in the court.

    • @sausagelynx
      @sausagelynx 3 роки тому +9

      I would guess either cold making your spine compress or (more likely) the footwear. But aren't winter boots usually taller than regular shoes tho?

    • @thaias9654
      @thaias9654 3 роки тому +2

      @@sausagelynx aren’t you supposed to take your height with either the same footwear every time, no footwear, or subtract the height gained from the footwear?

    • @raerohan4241
      @raerohan4241 3 роки тому +24

      @@thaias9654 Someone else commented that the discrepancy was indeed because of her shoes, and she didn't realise you're supposed to give your height w/o them or something

  • @staticchimera44
    @staticchimera44 3 роки тому +17

    Wow, I literally just watched the previous 2 a few hours ago, and then this pops up.
    What a coincidence.

  • @noiwontsignyourarmpit5263
    @noiwontsignyourarmpit5263 3 роки тому +9

    Edgeworth thoroughly explaining his duck/drunk analogy and the judge simply responding with "what." is one of the greatest things I've ever seen.

  • @WasatchWind
    @WasatchWind 3 роки тому +25

    The court demands you get a haircut!

  • @Rzra
    @Rzra 3 роки тому +10

    the second to last one the lawyer just have the best time of his life while everyone looks at him with disgust

  • @ThyMotherInSpirit
    @ThyMotherInSpirit 3 роки тому +61

    11:34 That's not dumb, that's genius.

  • @clairedex
    @clairedex 3 роки тому +10

    Im slipping in here early before this series inevitably blows up.
    This is an idea so good I'm genuinely mad I never came up with it.

  • @sanguis77
    @sanguis77 3 роки тому +46

    10:56 I don't think it was coffee inside that cup.

  • @jaygay6576
    @jaygay6576 3 роки тому +79

    Edgeworth WOULD say that though
    [2:13]

  • @Wintd1
    @Wintd1 3 роки тому +130

    The Edward Novak case sounds cursed.

    • @yesno7889
      @yesno7889 3 роки тому +4

      Not as cursed as the last one for sure.