I feel the inner child is the dependent part of us carrying around all the thoughts and feeling that we base on how we were treated. I know what I feel, how to feel healthy is unknown to me yet.
+Deborah Goss Learning to reparent the WC lies at the heart of recovery from childhood dysfunction. It requires courage, mindfulness, persistence, and practice. Check out this video for another perspective: ua-cam.com/video/11iF-x9QRy8/v-deo.html.
Such an easy listening non judgmental approach to helping us all heal. I just loved these videos as iv really just started within the last year understanding & healing the pain & confusion that coming from an alcoholic home leaves on our lives. Thank you so so much c.carl your work is just so valuable to me .☺👌❤
I literally watch the depression consoling one while crying but calmed down coz of ur calming voice u are the best and ever since I started I kept coming back to you Chanel may God bless you you've helped me alot
I’ve been watching so many videos on this topic I finally found somebody that is really connecting the dots and I like the way that you present this situation in a nice calm and understanding way it has completely put into perspective how deep my problems are and what I need to do about them… Thank you!!
Sarcastic people Hide a lot .I am not the bad guy it takes 2 to self reflect open up forgive and many things telling half truth is the act of a covert narc thst I think you are and your .well mud be nice to have so much time to smear
Thank you. I emailed an online therapist to work with me once and she wasn't taking any more clients. Because of my issues with trusting its hard for me to open myself up anyone so therapy hasn't worked very well with me in the past. . I do enjoy listening to your videos and will keep comments coming
Hi Stellar. Don't feel embarrassed. That's the shame talking. Instead realize it is not your fault. It is something that happened to you. But it is your mission to heel yourself with good supports so you can have the rich and meaningful life you deserve.
This is me right now. Severe abandonment trauma being triggered by husband going away in 3 weeks. I have no control in stopping him, I can’t stop myself being left completely alone l I’ve been in constant flashbacks for 5 days. I wish I could heal her instantly to feel better. It’s so huge and rW
I am leading a therapy group session tomorrow for a school project and I found a lot of your information SO HELPFUL! I will be sure to cite you as a helpful resource. Thank you so much for placing this where people can get help. I look forward to watching many of your other videos very soon!
Jolly interesting Carl and very helpful in regard to 'anger-management problems, over-reaction, anxiety-depression, social-alienation etc etc - shared to Facebook & Google+
Something I got to remember if me and I guess the person who is my ex try to argue if we get back together or if I argue with the person that I'm going to be with That it's kids fighting. That when the person is hurt it's off and not the current them but the little them.
I feel desperate - emotionally almost unbearable. And I keep remembering the past and the many times my parents beat me and beat me and beat me. I scream for help.
what do you do when abusive spouse hurts you and your inner wounded child then says you are over reacting and crazy because of old stuff not what they are doing to you know via verbal mental emotional abuse and neglect? I have left him and took our kids with me but I still have to deal with him over finances etc and continue to feel paralyzed with fear guilt shame and powerlessness at even the thought of interacting with him. I feel physically sick and confused and panicked when his emails come in. I know part of it is my inner child and part is from 20 years of him compounding what my wounded inner child felt and believed. how can I be free from fearing him from him triggering the trauma in me? both childhood wounds and the ones he made are real
thankyou counsellor carl I now know I have to heal my inner child myself as I was an abused child , but we me and my sister are free and left our old home , we are growing all the time , how do I start please if I may ask to heal the 10 yr old me and become whole ?
Julie Ann Joyce You can learn a lot by reading articles and books about healing the wounded inner child and watching videos as well. If you need more help, then I would seek out a good therapist.
Hi Julie it's been a while I have missed you so much it was hard on me for a minute but all is good for me plus I just found you, how are you doing? love Tina
an unhealed child self-sure but could there be a genetic factor here? I don't for the life of me see how I was ever abused or neglected. But maybe a genetic factor could be taken as the wound to overcome no different than a childhood neglect thing.
i was bully my bro no known about it or my family then they found ou bro tell me i are weak and that but in same time he beat that kid when he was older enough
Hey, I have a question. Sometimes I wake up, say I don’t get enough sleep so I’m pretty restless. I start feeling a bit insecure than the day before where I was well rested, etc. I believe it’s like my self esteem affecting me, but then I start getting thoughts like I’m not good enough or not good enough to talk to this person and I get really shy and dwell down and don’t communicate at all. Then i start thinking if I did they wouldnt like me for how i am and id get rejected. It sucks and idk how to fix it, kinda makes me sad. I try reparenting and say that Im not a child anymore and dont have to live by these rules but the feelings kinda stay and the thoughts just come back later. It’s hard to see something different. Is this like a reparenting issue im not sure how to fix it.
Yes, it is a reparenting issue. You are dealing with a lot of shame ,which no doubt you developed in childhood, which means you have automatic thoughts ("the shame talking") which tells you that you are bad, unworthy, unlovable, incompetent, and/or that your feelings and needs are a burden to others. Shame will come out when stressed (like being sleep deprived). So, you need to develop the mindfulness/awareness to stop beating up on yourself and instead be a good support for yourself (giving yourself the love and acceptance you didn't get as a child), which is called reparenting the wounded child. Here is a link to my Playlist on Inner Child Work: ua-cam.com/play/PL_wjG-62Kkus47LyeKJJjqEx_5KU5uy59.html
I did CAT and read about mindfulness, etc. After years of trying, it seems I cannot drop the hateful attitude to myself. No, I would never dream of saying the things I tell myself, to a friend, but I don't hate that friend. I do, however, hate myself. So all the reparenting I try to do amounts to a house of lies that crumbles down. I say "lies" because I hate myself and so the healing feels false; if not right then in the moment, then sometime later. Possibly weeks or months later. My hatefulness toward myself, although inherited, is my default position. For the life of me I can't seem to shake this default position. Repetition hasn't worked. In other words, I'm probably a lost cause.
Hello! You remind me of an anorexic who looks in the mirror and sees a fat person when the reality is she or he is looking at skin and bones. I doubt that you are the "lost cause" and hateful person your mind is saying you are because if you were, you wouldn't be looking at my videos or searching for answers. For whatever reasons, your mind has been programmed to see yourself in a horribly negative light, but that doesn't make it true. There is help for learning to see things more accurately, including yourself. It is called mindfulness-based cognitive behavioral therapy. You should check it out. Best wishes!
Can you please help me healing my inner child, if thats the issue for all my relationships which are so fucked up that I or they don't want to see me, health is getting worst, brain function is also getting worst at work or anything in daily life, i only see hatred cheating disrespect, hurt and taken for granted behaviour.. i don't know how and what to heal properly ..
+Stephanie Newman Hi, Stephanie. It certainly draws inspiration from TA. However, I consider it part of my mindfulness-based cognitive-behavioral therapy approach, with a big emphasis on mindfulness. Here is a link to my video that describes my approach: ua-cam.com/video/dnyaB0k_c9M/v-deo.html.
My chest is heaving and I'm fighting back tears. No one before ever told me that it is okay to admit the hurt inside. Thank you Dr. Carl.
You're very welcome, Funga! Best wishes on your path to healing and recovery.
I feel the inner child is the dependent part of us carrying around all the thoughts and feeling that we base on how we were treated. I know what I feel, how to feel healthy is unknown to me yet.
+Deborah Goss Learning to reparent the WC lies at the heart of recovery from childhood dysfunction. It requires courage, mindfulness, persistence, and practice. Check out this video for another perspective: ua-cam.com/video/11iF-x9QRy8/v-deo.html.
I keep watching your videos over and over! The calm way you talk and explain so clearly is soo very helpful. Thank you very much counsellor Carl! :-)
+Daniela Hewitt Thank you, Daniela. I'm glad my videos are helpful to you. I wish you the best!
Such an easy listening non judgmental approach to helping us all heal. I just loved these videos as iv really just started within the last year understanding & healing the pain & confusion that coming from an alcoholic home leaves on our lives. Thank you so so much c.carl your work is just so valuable to me .☺👌❤
I have found counseling and group work taps into the most extreme emotion.
You're welcome, Adam. Best wishes!
I literally watch the depression consoling one while crying but calmed down coz of ur calming voice u are the best and ever since I started I kept coming back to you Chanel may God bless you you've helped me alot
Thank you. I wish you the best!
I’ve been watching so many videos on this topic I finally found somebody that is really connecting the dots and I like the way that you present this situation in a nice calm and understanding way it has completely put into perspective how deep my problems are and what I need to do about them… Thank you!!
Thank you so much, that video has really helped me understand why I react when confronted , I get upset & run away in certain situations.
Edel O'Byrne. You're very welcome. Best wishes!
Finally, I understood what “the inner child” means.. Thank you for explaining...
Suzana Has You're welcome! Best wishes!
Sue I know this I am a n empath ..perhaps you need to heal a few things to and stop cyber bully behavior in alias name games
Sarcastic people Hide a lot .I am not the bad guy it takes 2 to self reflect open up forgive and many things telling half truth is the act of a covert narc thst I think you are and your .well mud be nice to have so much time to smear
And Stalk
I have been going to ACA for almost 8 years and I can completely relate to the wounded Inner Child that you are talking about..
Thank you. I emailed an online therapist to work with me once and she wasn't taking any more clients. Because of my issues with trusting its hard for me to open myself up anyone so therapy hasn't worked very well with me in the past. . I do enjoy listening to your videos and will keep comments coming
I wish you the best, Georgia.
Finally, I can understand what reparenting t h e Inner Child means. You calm demeanor is a blessing too. Thank you Counselor Carl
You're welcome, Stephany! Best wishes!
You were spot on, I feel extremely embarrassed about how debilitating the wounding is.
Hi Stellar. Don't feel embarrassed. That's the shame talking. Instead realize it is not your fault. It is something that happened to you. But it is your mission to heel yourself with good supports so you can have the rich and meaningful life you deserve.
Thanks Carl for sharing information for others to access helping them in understanding their journey.
Thank you councillor Carl for showing this video to me and people how are suffering from depression . thus and more thank you
Moses Dawkins. You're welcome! Best wishes.
This is me right now. Severe abandonment trauma being triggered by husband going away in 3 weeks. I have no control in stopping him, I can’t stop myself being left completely alone l I’ve been in constant flashbacks for 5 days. I wish I could heal her instantly to feel better. It’s so huge and rW
This is a amazing video.and thanks councillor carl
Thank you, Mark!
I am leading a therapy group session tomorrow for a school project and I found a lot of your information SO HELPFUL! I will be sure to cite you as a helpful resource. Thank you so much for placing this where people can get help. I look forward to watching many of your other videos very soon!
This is so beautiful it makes me cry. Thank you.
Hi, Maryam. Check out this video (if you haven't already): ua-cam.com/video/SHEs2Jach08/v-deo.html
❤Thank you, Counselor Carl.🙏🏾
You're welcome!
Thanks Counselor Carl. 💙💫✨
This has helped me massively. So simple and makes sense - I've waited for 2 years for this, but now I get it. Thank you for your videos :-)
You're welcome. Best wishes!
Jolly interesting Carl and very helpful in regard to 'anger-management problems, over-reaction, anxiety-depression, social-alienation etc etc - shared to Facebook & Google+
Thank you very much, Bill. Best wishes!
That's do true and here was me thinking I was had split personality any wonder I always got blamed since I was 3
this helped me a lot... thank you so much.
You're very welcome!
Excellent. Clear and straight-forard, and accurate, per my own experience. Kudos.
+Jack Adam Weber Thank you for your kind words.
Very good video. Thank you for doing this, it explains a lot to some that are wounded from childhood...Zuzanna
Can you make these videos longer..? Thank you...
Life changing
Thank you
Your welcome!
Thank you Counselor ! :)
N.W.A /IceCube. You're welcome!
Awesome stuff , thankyou sooooo much👍🙏🙏
You're very welcome, Rukmini! Best wishes!
Something I got to remember if me and I guess the person who is my ex try to argue if we get back together or if I argue with the person that I'm going to be with
That it's kids fighting.
That when the person is hurt it's off and not the current them but the little them.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome! Best wishes!
I feel desperate - emotionally almost unbearable. And I keep remembering the past and the many times my parents beat me and beat me and beat me. I scream for help.
Raymond Hogue. Help is available. If you don't know where to get help, ask your doctor. Healing is possible.
I don't have a doctor. But thanks. And anyway - doctors don't know much. I'm on my own I believe. Well - me and God maybe :)
If you feel overwhelmed emotionally, it is best to get help. Seek counseling, or maybe your pastor.
Thank you for sharing
You're welcome!
Thanks. It was helpful.
You're welcome! Best wishes!
Thank you very much
You're welcome!
what do you do when abusive spouse hurts you and your inner wounded child then says you are over reacting and crazy because of old stuff not what they are doing to you know via verbal mental emotional abuse and neglect? I have left him and took our kids with me but I still have to deal with him over finances etc and continue to feel paralyzed with fear guilt shame and powerlessness at even the thought of interacting with him. I feel physically sick and confused and panicked when his emails come in. I know part of it is my inner child and part is from 20 years of him compounding what my wounded inner child felt and believed. how can I be free from fearing him from him triggering the trauma in me? both childhood wounds and the ones he made are real
If possible, reach out to your county's domestic violence/ abuse organization. They often offer free counseling for abused women.
It was helpful but too short
thankyou counsellor carl I now know I have to heal my inner child myself as I was an abused child , but we me and my sister are free and left our old home , we are growing all the time , how do I start please if I may ask to heal the 10 yr old me and become whole ?
Julie Ann Joyce You can learn a lot by reading articles and books about healing the wounded inner child and watching videos as well. If you need more help, then I would seek out a good therapist.
thanks carl il do that , and I got therapy starting next week , never been before it councelling , im hoping it will help and thanks again
Julie Ann Joyce Best wishes.
thankyou
Hi Julie it's been a while I have missed you so much it was hard on me for a minute but all is good for me plus I just found you, how are you doing? love Tina
an unhealed child self-sure but could there be a genetic factor here? I don't for the life of me see how I was ever abused or neglected. But maybe a genetic factor could be taken as the wound to overcome no different than a childhood neglect thing.
deric smith Absolutely! Many things can cause a wounded inner child such as bullying or teasing or being different in some way.
Thanks for this. Too many knee jerk reactions going on. :)
+naomisad You're welcome!
_/\_
i was bully my bro no known about it or my family then they found ou bro tell me i are weak and that but in same time he beat that kid when he was older enough
Hey, I have a question. Sometimes I wake up, say I don’t get enough sleep so I’m pretty restless. I start feeling a bit insecure than the day before where I was well rested, etc. I believe it’s like my self esteem affecting me, but then I start getting thoughts like I’m not good enough or not good enough to talk to this person and I get really shy and dwell down and don’t communicate at all. Then i start thinking if I did they wouldnt like me for how i am and id get rejected. It sucks and idk how to fix it, kinda makes me sad. I try reparenting and say that Im not a child anymore and dont have to live by these rules but the feelings kinda stay and the thoughts just come back later. It’s hard to see something different. Is this like a reparenting issue im not sure how to fix it.
Yes, it is a reparenting issue. You are dealing with a lot of shame ,which no doubt you developed in childhood, which means you have automatic thoughts ("the shame talking") which tells you that you are bad, unworthy, unlovable, incompetent, and/or that your feelings and needs are a burden to others. Shame will come out when stressed (like being sleep deprived). So, you need to develop the mindfulness/awareness to stop beating up on yourself and instead be a good support for yourself (giving yourself the love and acceptance you didn't get as a child), which is called reparenting the wounded child. Here is a link to my Playlist on Inner Child Work: ua-cam.com/play/PL_wjG-62Kkus47LyeKJJjqEx_5KU5uy59.html
I did CAT and read about mindfulness, etc. After years of trying, it seems I cannot drop the hateful attitude to myself. No, I would never dream of saying the things I tell myself, to a friend, but I don't hate that friend. I do, however, hate myself. So all the reparenting I try to do amounts to a house of lies that crumbles down. I say "lies" because I hate myself and so the healing feels false; if not right then in the moment, then sometime later. Possibly weeks or months later. My hatefulness toward myself, although inherited, is my default position. For the life of me I can't seem to shake this default position. Repetition hasn't worked. In other words, I'm probably a lost cause.
Hello! You remind me of an anorexic who looks in the mirror and sees a fat person when the reality is she or he is looking at skin and bones. I doubt that you are the "lost cause" and hateful person your mind is saying you are because if you were, you wouldn't be looking at my videos or searching for answers. For whatever reasons, your mind has been programmed to see yourself in a horribly negative light, but that doesn't make it true. There is help for learning to see things more accurately, including yourself. It is called mindfulness-based cognitive behavioral therapy. You should check it out. Best wishes!
Can you please help me healing my inner child, if thats the issue for all my relationships which are so fucked up that I or they don't want to see me, health is getting worst, brain function is also getting worst at work or anything in daily life, i only see hatred cheating disrespect, hurt and taken for granted behaviour.. i don't know how and what to heal properly ..
I'm sorry you are in such pain. I suggest you talk to your doctor or a mental health professional about getting help.
@@Serenityonlinetherapy Thank you for the best advice
⭐️💜🙏🏻
Carl - is this TA therapy?
+Stephanie Newman Hi, Stephanie. It certainly draws inspiration from TA. However, I consider it part of my mindfulness-based cognitive-behavioral therapy approach, with a big emphasis on mindfulness. Here is a link to my video that describes my approach: ua-cam.com/video/dnyaB0k_c9M/v-deo.html.
It is not about the inner child . Not knowing to have been unwanted.
Wish I could afford you. Desperate.
Thank you George Bush. :-)
Thank you
You're welcome! Sunita
Thank you
You're welcome!