How to Help a Child Who Pulls Hair or Picks Skin: Interview with Aneela & Ellen from Habitaware
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- Опубліковано 3 лип 2024
- This video is not intended to replace medical advice. This is for information purposes only. This video is for informational purposes only and should not be used to replace the guidance of a local mental health professional. Your daughter comes home from school and half her eyebrows are gone. You are giving your son a bath and you notice a patch of hair missing from the back of his head. Your teenager picks at her skin until she creates scabs. This behavior can freak parents out! I know - it freaked me out. When scabs started showing up on my daughter’s forehead I didn’t know what to think. Why does she keep getting scabs in that one area? Then one day I saw her little hand digging deep into her skin. My heart sank. “What?”She said staring at me with big eyes. “I like to pick.” She said simply. She is not alone. Many of us have a child who pulls hair or picks skin. And many of us feel desperate to make them stop.
Picking and pulling behavior (also known as Trichotillomania) are part of a group of disorders known as BFRBs, body-focused repetitive behaviors. Other behaviors can include things like nail biting, cheek biting, lip picking and tongue chewing.
I invited Aneela Idnani Kumar and Ellen Crupi to come onto the AT Parenting Survival Podcast to help give us insight into BFRBs and teach us the best ways to approach a child with these behaviors. Aneela is the inspiration for the Keen bracelet and creator of the company Habitaware. The Keen bracelet is an engineering miracle that quietly notifies people with BFRBs when they are doing the unwanted behavior. Ellen is Habitaware’s Director of Sales and Awareness and a hair puller herself.
Aneela and Ellen share their own stories of what it was like to grow up with Trichotillomania. They share their wisdom of what helped them and what didn’t. They offer invaluable tips for parents struggling to know how to help their kids with picking and pulling disorders.
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For more information on the Keen bracelet visit: partners.habitaware.com/104.html
Other resources on Body-focused repetitive behaviors:
The TLC Foundation for Body-Repetitive Focused Behaviors bfrb.org/
Picking Me Foundation: pickingme.org/
Private Facebook group for parents raising kids with BFRBs: / trichyparenting
Books on BFRBs:
What to Do When Bad Habits Take Hold by Dawn Huebner amzn.to/2EviZea
A Parent's Guide to Hair Pulling Disorder amzn.to/2qjBjBE
Fidget Toys to Help BFRBs:
Boinks amzn.to/2HiNHdr
Spiky Sensory Ring amzn.to/2JuMNLr
Stretchy String amzn.to/2GHttNq
Stress grape ball amzn.to/2uY5iVp
Dr Suess pens amzn.to/2HarzVb
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Our daughter started pulling her eyebrows and eyelashes when she was 3 or 4. It was heartbreaking. We tried lots of therapy, and then the Keen bracelet, but sadly nothing seemed to work. Then a friend of ours told us she went to a Hypnitherapist and it cured her of her bad habit. We were skeptical, but desperate. So after 3 or 4 years of nothing else working, we decided to take our daughter to the Hypnotherapist when she was 7. After about 3 sessions, she hasn't pulled for almost 4 months!! She says she has no desire to pull any more too. Well see if it lasts, but so far hypnotherapy is the only thing that seems to have worked. I wanted to share so hopefully if any of you struggle with trich too, you may want to find a good hypnotherapist and try it.
Thanks soo much for this. My son is 3 and a half and has started cuticle picking. I didn't even know this was a thing! I stumbled on this by accident because I was searching about teaching him about feelings and read your article on anxiety. Thank you again!
Thank you so much for this. I am a therapist but I see only adults. I have a 5 year old who has started picking behaviors. He will will pick at his finger and toe nails. He will will pick and rub his lips, pick his nose, and rub his eyes. He rubs his face so much that his eyes, lips, and cheeks become red and blistered. I found this video after i yelled at him for picking at his face. Does the Keen bracelet work for kids who are 5 years old?
Some of us cover our mirrors. We end up looking in them for skin imperfections and do a whole lot more damamge.
That’s great advice, thank you so much. What would you do with toddlers biting others?
I think that is a very different issue. Teaching toddlers to express their feelings long-term is the best help for that issue www.anxioustoddlers.com/teach-your-toddler-to-express-feelings/
My daughter eats her hair too. Like she pulls my hair to eat it too.
I really need help my daughter is really struggling with hair pulling. and I struggle with cuticle biting. Are there any support groups?
Hi my 1 year old is pulling her hair from both sides of her head. She first started pulling my hair while I was sleep she would pull my hair string by string and when I would wake up I would catch her in the middle of the act and I would see my hair on my pillow. Then she went from pulling my hair to pulling out a whole braid so I stop braiding her hair and now she I rapidly pulling her hair from both sides of her head. how can I help my daughter with this?
Do you have child size bracelets?
My daughter is 4 and she has been pulling and eating her hair since she was 18 months old. I do feel it's a trauma related body harm habbit. Pulling your hair is painful. Her Dad and I are separated and I believe she started doing it when the marriage was failing. But she continues and it's been progressive in the last 6 weeks. She doesn't want to go to her gram's house, her dad's mom. Busy hands at pre-k and star chart doesn't work. Can the Keen bracelet work on a 4 year old? I'm worried she will damage it and it's expensive. But I'm desperate.
Offering a replacement behavior doesn’t seem to me as a solution but just the transfering of the behavior. Is it possible to solve /stop the pulling or picking disorder? I was a puller with trichotilomania as a child and it somehow stopped, but I still bite my cheek. Can it be stopped or can it only be reduced?
I have seen tons of success when people transition the behavior to something that is not harmful to their body. often the behavior then stops all together.
My daughter is only 20months but has had several different evolutions of picking. She started after a two month hospital stay from 2-4 month when she was very ill and was constantly poked and prodded by doctors and nurses. I feel like this is a possible trauma. She started with nail picking while breast feeding at 6months, eventually leading to picking the skin around the nail causing constant hangnails, she had a stunt of sever hair pulling but has stopped and is now picking her lips to the point of drawing blood. What methods and practices can be applied to a child of her age other then distraction with toys and books?
Sorry to hear about her struggles. It can be really hard to stop that type of behavior in a toddler. Often treatment involves trying to block the child from that area by using bandaids, mittens etc. It might also be good to seek out the help of an infant-toddler mental health professional in your area. Especially if you think it is related to medical trauma.
My daughter pulls out her hair and sucks her finger. It's so bad and I cannot understand why she does that. She has bald spots and I dont know how to stop her. It's my concern that brought me here.
Hi dear...my son does the same. Please could you share any remedies that have worked for your little one at stopping this?? Would be more than grateful!!
My daughter does this and she will be 2 soon and she constantly pulls her hair and eats it, and advice on how to get her to stop
My daughter (age 9) picks her skin in the same spot until it bleeds on her head and also picks off scabs and peels skin off her feet. I have watched this video and it is very helpful. Can you also make a short kid video that I could use with my daughter to help her further?
That is a great video topic! I’ll make it for this week. Check back on Thursday.
Thank you! : )
I meant next Thursday. I forgot that this week was already recorded and will be able intrusive thoughts.
I really appreciate your videos - looking forward to it : )
I have one question, this is really embarrassing, but would thumb sucking be one of those? Also I wish my mom would see these videos, she doesn't understand that I have social anxiety, and insomnia, if I told her she wouldn't believe me. Would there be any way to get her to watch these or at least make her understand?? (I'm 10) also I always itch my hands and idek why, I once itched them so much they bled, the spots where they bled are still on my hand and Idk if it's a symptom to some type of illness or if it's just a habit.
Thumb sucking is a hard habit to break - even for kids your age and older. No need to feel embarrassed. It is like hair pulling, skin picking and nail biting - it offers comfort and feels good. I wonder if you could just show your mom some of my videos? Also, I have videos just for parents and a podcast called The AT Parenting Survival Podcast. Maybe your mom would be open to listening to some of those episodes. They are for parents. She can start by looking at my website www.anxioustoddlerstoteens.com.
I am not sure about your hands. If they truly itch you want to tell your mom and have a doctor check it out.