The Amazing and Brutal Results of Zero Lies for 365 Days - Martha Beck
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- Опубліковано 6 чер 2024
- Dr. Martha Beck has been called “the best-known life coach in America” by NPR and USA Today. She holds three Harvard degrees in social science and has published nine non-fiction books, one novel, and more than 200 magazine articles. Her recent book, The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self, was an instant New York Times Best Seller.
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Links and resources from this episode: tim.blog/2024/04/17/martha-beck/
Timestamps:
[00:00] Preview
[01:19] My contribution to teen atrociousness.
[01:47] Connecting with Boyd Varty.
[07:55] The path of not here.
[12:26] Finding joy in the body can save your life.
[17:18] The pregnant pause that ended Martha's obsession with intellect.
[23:25] Sensitivity and suffering.
[27:03] The year of living lie-lessly.
[32:59] An illuminating change of perspective.
[43:16] The path to taking a black belt integrity cleanse.
[47:06] Owning your right to say "No."
[51:24] Alternatives to "No" that remain honest.
[55:05] The language of candor.
[57:42] Ending relationships that have run their course.
[58:59] The Asian influence.
[01:03:08] Sweet or savory?
[01:04:19] Are you comfortable?
[01:06:13] Want vs. yearning and jumping the track.
[01:20:42] Rhino ruminations.
[01:22:06] The Tao Te Ching, Stephen Mitchell, and Byron Katie.
[01:34:20] America's Goethe?
[01:37:29] Weighing kryptonite against superpowers.
[01:46:04] Exploring the opposite of anxiety.
[01:55:03] Dick Schwartz and Internal Family Systems.
[02:04:47] Compassion even for the self's unwanted pieces.
[02:07:24] Favorite animal.
[02:12:12] Equine therapy.
[02:18:47] Selling the ranch.
[02:22:06] The monkey whisperer.
[02:24:10] Parting thoughts.
Tim Ferriss is one of Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Business People” and an early-stage tech investor/advisor in Uber, Facebook, Twitter, Shopify, Duolingo, Alibaba, and 50+ other companies. He is also the author of five #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers: The 4-Hour Workweek, The 4-Hour Body, The 4-Hour Chef, Tools of Titans and Tribe of Mentors. The Observer and other media have named him “the Oprah of audio” due to the influence of his podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, which has exceeded 900 million downloads and been selected for “Best of Apple Podcasts” three years running.
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Plain & simple I'm so thankful for both of you,, I so needed to hear good information.❤️🌹❤️
I'm at a loss for words. More conversations with Martha, please. This is the most authentic conversation I have heard on your podcast. When she says the "light" has never left her, I believe it because I can feel it, she radiates it. Thank you for the opportunity to be a fly on the wall in such an important conversation!
💯 💯💯
Finally: Martha Beck!!! The wisest human I've met. So glad she's getting the platform she deserves. Every one of her books have saved my life.
She exudes such young, vibrant energy. Love this lady. Her story about her surgery made me super emotional.
„My body correctly figured out that I was the biggest threat to my own health.“ - wow, this really hit me like a brick.
I personally have made the changes to my language and found my truth which changed my life and victim mentality
Please be more precise. Thank you very much ❤
Hard to believe that changing the language alone (without working on your beliefs/values/priorities etc.) might have that much effect, do tell us more
Every athlete knows that we "play up" when we meet our match. Our excellence meets their excellence and a dance of intellectual/emotional joy ensues.
Martha and Tim: This was a 1+1=11 synchronistic interaction where all involved were elevated, and that includes us listeners and viewers fortunate enough to tune in - literally and figuratively. You asked, "When was the last time we felt joy in our body? Well, I felt joy in my mind AND body in this delightful, rising-tide conversation. Kudos to you for this mind/soul dance that was Exhibit A of why it's a blessing to be alive and to learn from two smart, talented, incredibly compatible individuals who were mutually lit up.
“There’s a level beyond the truth, it’s compassion, and it’s truer.”
❤
I told my friend back in 2012 that I wouldn't be going to her party because I didn't want to (I should perhaps have been more honest and said it was due to feeling social anxiety at the time). She sent me a really nasty email, ending: and don't bother coming to my funeral because you won't be welcome.
We had been friends for 30 years from age 16. I didn't dignify the email with a reply. In fact I have no regrets. I miss our friendship for what i had thought it was, but i accept it's better not to have it as it REALLY was.
I'm not sure what my point is, I just wanted to share this.
I don’t think it’s ok to not give an explanation. I know that the dysfunctional and unnecessary habit of always overexplaining oneself is often discussed in trauma circles. But as a friend we do carry some accountability and if it’s a birthday I feel we deserve an honest explanation if it’s a good friend and they can’t come to our party. There’s a good article called THE GOLDEN AGE OF BAILING. It explains that. You weren’t vulnerable with your friend and not honest about why you couldn’t come to the party. That’s not a friendship if there’s no safety to be honest. So I guess it wasn’t a good friendship in the first place. But I feel both of you can take responsibility for that.
@@marisaschmutz9034 I agree!
Not telling your friend that you were not attending her party because of social anxiety is a lie by omission.
@@elsagrace3893 there's a lot of background you aren't aware of. For one, for years I put up with her calling me to come over, and telling me there was no one else there. I'd turn up and there would be a house full of her friends (we were in our 40s so she wasn't a child!) I overlooked it at the time, but shouldn't have. I should have addressed it. But...shoulda woulda coulda! It's all in the past and doesn't matter now. The important things is that we learn from our own mistakes.
@marisaschmutz9034
They didn't say it was a birthday party...only 'a party'
✨Only 28 minutes in and I’m captivated… here’s to those moments in life when the right message comes at the right time in multiples! ✨
Finished and just-WOW. Every yes! 💫
YES to tracking joy lions.
YES to practical experiments.
YES to compassion bonfires with internal nemeses.
YES to Martha’s yarfy gratitude.
And hell YES to liminal mischief!
Going to see my surgeon now about a left brain hemispherectomy. 😂
🙏🏻🔥🐒
🙏🏻🔥🐒
🙏🏻🔥🐒
18 minutes for me ❤
Thank you both very much Martha Beck and Tim Ferriss. Beautiful conversation.
Martha Beck's insights on living with integrity are truly eye-opening. For entrepreneurs, applying her "year of living lie-lessly" concept can be transformative, especially when making tough business decisions. It's about aligning actions with core values, which not only fosters trust with clients and partners but also improves personal well-being.
Martha's story about the light she saw during her surgery brought tears to my eyes. Thank you, Tim for creating such a safe space for her (and for all your guests) to open up and share some of their most personal, intimate, sometimes beautiful and sometimes painful experiences. LOVE and authenticity should be at the core of everything we do. We're all in this journey together. Please bring Martha back for another conversation, thank you.
Wow what an amazing conversation. It lit up my brain. Hope there are more- such a great synergy btwn Tim & Martha. It inspires me to look for relationships who are this synergistic to me in my own life- it seems next level. Thank you for generously sharing this convo.
Tim Ferris’s work has inspired me over the last decade to become an independent adult who had to work against a lot of family dysfunction. The fear setting Ted Talk is the one that’s ingrained in my head. I am so fortunate I came across this conversation of his with Martha Beck. It got me out of a 2 week long rumination of doubt and fear and this is all I needed!
She is so inspiring!
Just cried my eyes out watching a podcast episode. That was unexpected... how's everybody else's day going?
This is an outstanding conversation 😁
My favorite podcast so far this year!
Omg same! I am through the roof for having found this.
From Dante and Goethe to leaf blowers. This convo had it all, well done and thank you🙏
There’s a level beyond telling the truth, called compassion. Beautiful ❤
What a fun conversation for a Sunday morning... "Tracking joy in the body" i love that.
The opposite of anxiety isn't calm, it's creativity. When you go into control mode, you're anxious. When you open yourself up to all possibilities, you're creative.
Such a great lesson, thank you Tim + Dr. Martha Beck
❤
Tim, καταπληκτικός!!!! I don't know how you guys did this, but this podcast was full of joy! ❤❤
I’m only 40:43 in so far (just past where you told about your son also seeing the light), and this is absolutely enlightening. Martha, you radiate joy and I’ve felt joy while watching this.
By nature I’m often skeptical of things like that, but I keep an open mind towards it, and your story opened my mind and heart even further.
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, and for taking the journey you have taken to bring that wisdom and joy to us.
What a genuinely incredible conversation. I don't know Tim Ferris' stuff well, but I know it a little, and I feel like the conversation with Martha Beck brings out things in him I've never seen. She is one of a kind. I bless the universe for the gift of her!
Wow!!! Amazing!!! My son’s birthday is May 10th and his name is Lucas (for bringer of light). When she was sharing her conversation with her son about the light and he said it was on May 10th I got tears. My son turns 17 next Friday ❤💛💚
May 10th is also Wayne Dyers birthday 😍
A delightful conversation. I listened to the podcast driving a few hundred miles. I was so moved I then pulled up this version, and watched the whole thing. I'd never heard of Martha until two days ago, and now she's one of my all-time favorite people to share virtual company with. Tim, you're an excellent interviewer, you bring out the best in people. Now I've got to go order Martha's book.
God this is one of the best conversations I’ve heard. I love her
Thank you Tim! I’ve been waiting for this meeting and it was beyond my expectations! 🙏🏻
Tim - when you talked about that mirror in the room and how you knew it was an eighth of an inch off, oh my. I definitely have the same brain propensity and have to turn it off pretty often. I crave symmetry, precision and alignment. It is a real curse a lot of the time. You helped me feel less alone in this. Thank you. Really enjoying this interview! You and Martha have great chemistry.
The truth will set you free 🙏
“You tell the truth and people go away, that’s joy” 😂
These splendid conversations is why I get excited to tune in, thanks Tim and Martha!
Wow. I have not enjoyed a conversation as much as this one in an extremely long time. Thank you both for your transparency/honesty/encouragement.
At ~ 1:51:20 Martha Beck speaks about switching from attempts at control to curiosity (in a fear context). This reminds me of Chris Voss who teaches to ask/say, "You must have a good reason for asking that?". Instead of seeking control Chris is seeking more information. Stephen Covey might say he seeks first to understand.
I will remember to be curious (in times of fear, in negotiations, in life, etc....).
Conversation, connection and explorations between 2 of my favorite people 🙏🏻 This was a treat for the heart 💝 so expanding!!! Thank you both for sharing your genius, insights and care! Thanks you for all you go through being you, and then chosing to share the gems 💎 along the way as you track your path. Wow! 🙏🏻 Please, do have Martha on again Tim! This connection and exploration was fire 🔥
So good, I went back to the beginning to listen a second time
Your best guest and show yet. I’ve been tuning in for years
I'm so thankful for hearing this conversation. Martha is lovely. ❤
Best thing I've heard all year 🔥... Well done, Tim ✨️
Loved this interview so much! Immediately afterward, I started listening to the audiobook, The Way of Integrity. It doesn't disappoint and I LOVE Dr. Martha Beck's narration.
Wow this was really profound, insightful, and lovely ❤ Thank you both for sharing 🙏
Two of my favorite trackers. Loved this conversation. I learned so much. Thank you. My right brain is happy.
Amazing energy , thank you for this conversation , it was brilliant, hope marta will come back for more ❤🙏🏾
Thank you, for this beautiful conversation.
Just love listening to Martha Beck. Have her book "Way to Integrity"...even have her on my vision-action board, as a reminder to integrate her concept of Integrity, in my life and relationships.
This is my fav podcast of the year. Loved Martha and I only wish I would have known about her earlier!
This is absolutely fascinating. Loved this from beginning to end.
Now I want to listen to baboon alarm calls and it’s close to bedtime here. Loved this podcast! Joy to the max.
My favourite of your interviews yet, and I’ve loved so many of them! What a phenomenal, alive, inspiring human being Martha is! I’m definitely going to listen again and make notes! Oh and I’ve just ordered A Lion Trackers Guide to Life! Can’t wait to read it! I’m South African so particularly keen to read the work of a fascinating fellow countryman! (I’ll be watching your interview with Boyd next, downloaded and ready for my drive tomorrow!)
Thank you for a wonderful, honest, authentic and thoroughly interesting show, I’ve learnt so much by listening!
Loved this. Please do more together! You work so well together ❤
This was a powerful conversation!!!
I love her energy.
OMG! There is so much in this interview! I now want to read two new books and I will be listening to this again and taking notes!
Thank you both!
Such a great interview, & such a great interviewer. Wow, for his questions!
One way to tell the truth more delicately in a way that FBI hostage negotiators do, is say everything after the 'but' to the person up front. For example, Tim mentioned he didn't want to go to a mask party on a Thursday BUT he didn't want to upset the person, she would probably feel let down, it would be really important to her and valuable to her and yada yada. Say all of that first, and then say you don't want to go. So something like "I know this is probably going to upset you because I know this party is really important to you but I just don't want to go. I'm sorry."
People have an innate natural tendency to want to disagree or disprove what you just said about them. So you can use that to your advantage.
For further study, Chris Voss provides a lot of insight here.
And dont even use “but”, and instead, use “and”.
@6980869
Frankly, I think using 'and', rather than 'but' in a scenario such as this would ruin the spirit in which it was said.
'And' has a 'piling-on' connotation - this, this,this AND this...
Whereas using 'but' here conveys, imo, a softer meaning. It implies an exception
Using 'but' after explaining why implies ... 'but for those reasons...I would've wanted to go'
(Jmo)😊
@joryiansmith
This sounds like a perfect response
I'll look up Chris Voss😊
Great interview and conversation.
Dammmmn, that was a fascinating conversation! Great to see two minds with a lot of horsepower bounce back from each other!
My favourite episode so far!
I love Martha she’s a gem.
Martha, the best. Thank you for all those gems !!!
know what you know
feel what you feel
claim your right to joy
This was just awesomeness stacked on top of awesomeness! Thank you for all that you do Tim, and thanks to Martha for doing the show. Lots of profound things have been said during this show. Aloha😘😄
Love this conversation, thanks to both of you ~🌟
I am only half way into this and am in stitches! Thanks for putting words to my whole life philosophy and explaining why I am so lonely!;) we need more people like both of you!
This is so fun and insightful it’s just delight
Such a wonderful conversation
Wow. This has been one of the most captivating talks I’ve heard in so long. This just really tied together some loose ends for me in such a fun way. I’m a fan!
Thank you so much 😊
Fascinating very interesting conversation! Very wise lady!
Awesome conversation.
1:09:20 is the "Jumping the Tracks" exercise/meditation (three joyful thoughts for each sense).
Tim, your neurodivergence is giftedness. Superdotação.
Wow, this is such an incredibly beautiful interview ❤
Interesting story about how making decisions based on feelings can cause destruction. Avoiding suffering brings short term pleasure not long term joy. Being able to endure difficulty makes you stronger. This pleasure seeking society is making us weak.
I am throughly enjoying this podcast. "Finding my joy" appears to me the essence of a truthful (true to yourself) life. I am considering embarking on a MA in Classics based on The Great Books. My hesitation (fear) concerns my lack of a rigorous writing experience. I feel that I will not be able to "do the work" of writing the required essays in an A level form. I have A BS from Grand Canyon U. and several AA degrees in Xray & Ultrasound. I am a retired Army officer and my JOY has always been reading, almost anything and everything. My focus has always been The Great Books. Mortimer Adler is my intellectual muse. I am fascinated by his written output and his verbal ability to explain things to a layperson. My "ASK" is what do you recommend to free my block?
I don’t know if Tim will answer you, but I have the feeling that he could recommend “the war of art” by Stephen Pressfield. He’s got a podcast with him by the way and credit it like a great anti procrastination (and more) book. Good luck!
..THANK YOU SOO MUCH TIM ☺️
Thank you this was very informative
Yaaaaaay martha on the tim ferris show, so cool🤗🥰
Wow.. what a fascinating person, she is.., what a tour de force!
I had a blast listening to this. Thank you both!, for the back & forth.
Now I'm going to listen to it again, :P , and most definitely check out some of the books you mentioned, throughout.
Kudos from Portugal
She is delightful. I love how animated and excited she is with LIFE! More Martha Beck, please!
Living with integrity is a very Japanese principle stemming from Buddhism. Canada is also known for their honesty. Americans would change their country by embracing truthfulness and shunning leaders who lie and judges who do not hold them accountable.
More please and thank you. - a Fan from South Africa
California USA. Trickster thank you.
😅😅❤
I have had such a connection with you Tim, 4 hr body. Changed my life, you still keep my energy supper engaged. I totally feel that you both may be “my tribe”. Getting book..Trickster? I have had a few experiences that may fit into Right Side…will be many show notes..I read Lion Tracker…because of your recommendation again a long time ago. Life lifting as well…will read again. Grateful to the max
Thank you 🙏
Krishnamurti said compassion is the highest form of intelligence.
Just started watching this recording and stopped playing it to go order the book "Lion Trackers' ... can't hardly wait to have it arrive!!! Thank you!
@kathie8742
Yah...Im gonna order that book too.
I listened to that podcast and ❤ it. In fact, shared it with my son, who loved it as well. I was all enthused about getting Lion Tracker then, and just forgot all about it🙄
P.S.. If you didn't catch that podcast...it was a few yrs ago, should still be up.
Yah...he's a master storyteller. I was mesmerized. 🤩
( wish that Tim had linked it here. I want to hear it again...now will have to hunt for it🙄
Excellent conversations ❤
Being unashamed to just be... Providing it is honest, good, and kind (of course!). Fun vibes!
Ps. Have had a 1minute charcoal up framed for a while, was thinking to move onto something else. It’s no “work of art”, but a good reminder that art school ain’t for wimps.
Really enjoyed. Thank you!! 💫
Shame, Tim also wants to find his 'species' woman! He will I'm certain of it. Wow !! What an episode ! There is soooo much here. One incredible concept after the other. I absolutely loved this.
I’ve never taken so many notes watching a podcast! It was so inspirational and I am going to do the white belt version of not telling a lie, I’ve already started. And I had to go listen to baboon sounds 😂😂😂
Two of my favorite people!!!
Can I get the cite for the study on people using empowered vs. victim language?
Where are we getting the time to watch these videos? We are making the time to heal. It's magnetic. It is definitely the magic of technology.
Laziness violates beauty (that’s a Great representation on the alignment topic ) 👌
Been stagnant, this was a much needed wind to move the sails.
Muchas gracias 🌄😃💕 muchas muchas gracias
I find her riveting. Frustrated that just when she was on to something that could have been elaborated, a question which didn't seem to flow brought it off track. Hoping for a sequel.
Whats the time stamp on that? Maybe he sees this, and it can be revisited by him the next time she’s on.
You can also say, “That is a very kind invitation”. It’s called the rules of civility.
Que grata sorpresa Tim soy seguidor y fan tuyo, cuando dicen que las casulidades no existen cada día estoy más covencido. Hace unos pocos meses llegó una recomendación del libro de Martha Beck por el que se hizo tan concida "Encuentra tu estrela polar". Me quedé abrumado por lo bien extructurado y la gran información que aporta para la consecución de nuestro proposito en la vida. Soy colaborador hace tiempo de una publicación tipo peridodico comarcal aquí en Alicante (España) y este mes hace 10 días envié el articulo del mes que se titula "Conecta con tu esencia" haciendo una referencia a dicha autora, expongo mi opinión que comparto con esta gran mujer. La publicación salió a la calle en formato impreso el jueves 18 y ayer me vi la entrevista en tu mail al que estoy suscrico "5 Balas" y no daba credito a lo que veian mis ojos. Muchas gracias por se una inspiración para todos.
Postada: me encantó el programa de Jiu-Jitsu y lo rápido que parendes, ya que soy Maestro de Judo y sé lo dificil que es hacerlo tan bien en tan poco tiempo. Eso confirma que un buen maestro lo es gracias a un buen alumno.
Hello good morning I'm watching here conception tarlac Philippines