Storytime: I’m dealing with a stalker

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  • Опубліковано 18 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 637

  • @sharhenley
    @sharhenley  9 місяців тому +67

    I’ve posted a final update to this saga here: ua-cam.com/video/2nP7hFxR9Co/v-deo.htmlsi=cfj_l9kAXWC1N4BI thanks everyone for watching!

  • @idontarguewithpeasants
    @idontarguewithpeasants 9 місяців тому +669

    Please be careful. I dealt with one for 10 yrs. Had to move 3000+ miles. He attacked me in public 4 times.

    • @Harlem-ub3tn
      @Harlem-ub3tn 9 місяців тому +160

      Glad you made it! Femicide is increasing. 😢

    • @SamanthasUniverse
      @SamanthasUniverse 9 місяців тому +101

      So scary. I pray you will be OK from here on.🙏🏿❤️

    • @sharhenley
      @sharhenley  9 місяців тому +140

      Wow. I’m so sorry.

    • @vecarter569
      @vecarter569 9 місяців тому +20

      ❤🙏🏾🌹

    • @NightinGal89
      @NightinGal89 9 місяців тому +31

      Wtf, didn't the police do anything?

  • @beeautifuldreamer2211
    @beeautifuldreamer2211 9 місяців тому +74

    Men like him is the reason we need our own spaces as women.

  • @ololusername
    @ololusername 9 місяців тому +91

    It's unacceptable to me that law enforcement prioritizes cleaning up after crimes rather than preventing them

    • @empresssk
      @empresssk 9 місяців тому +16

      Like what more do they need to lock him up?!?

    • @haroldharold9042
      @haroldharold9042 9 місяців тому +10

      It’s such a shame. So many creeps who end up hurting someone show signs of dangerous or scary behaviors/thinking for years beforehand, and usually everyone who knows them knows that something is off. It seems so easily preventable.

    • @halliadams5987
      @halliadams5987 9 місяців тому +3

      @ville You mean 100 'women', right? 🤨

  • @KelceyGovan
    @KelceyGovan 9 місяців тому +23

    Please stay safe Shar, proud of all of you ladies for sticking together and getting him out!

  • @holographicwing
    @holographicwing 9 місяців тому +21

    This is why I dont go to any community events or other things at apartment buildings, I literally deprive myself out of resources I pay for because I know it just takes one of these freaks to have a stalker who knows and has access to where you live.

  • @thecure3982
    @thecure3982 9 місяців тому +73

    I remember a Black woman could not get help and eventually murdered her stalker. I think she made a tiktok video about it. She's free.

    • @kamivenus753
      @kamivenus753 9 місяців тому +11

      What????😮 do you have her name?

    • @valeriew4833
      @valeriew4833 9 місяців тому +25

      Right, that woman who went on 2 dates with the white guy who then stalked her for 7 months, and laughed about getting away with deleting her. Joke was on him thankfully

    • @gazagxrlx2974
      @gazagxrlx2974 9 місяців тому +4

      Gr8 !

    • @empresssk
      @empresssk 9 місяців тому +3

      Insane!!

    • @CharlieApples
      @CharlieApples 9 місяців тому +7

      That’s not murder, that’s self defense

  • @IOSALive
    @IOSALive 9 місяців тому +15

    Shar Henley, Your videos always make me happy, so I subscribed!

  • @XaraK1
    @XaraK1 9 місяців тому +34

    This is why the 'choose better' stuff is always so funny to me, along with the 'suddenly men are guilty with no proof' bs. It is *SO* difficult to get protection against guys who are serious and intent about harming us because laws actually favour the perpetrators, and these guys often actually have to unalive someone to be taken seriously. I'm so stressed about things like this because I know how they often end up, especially when someone is clearly escalating like this. I'm so sorry u guys are going through this and I hope something is done soon ❤

  • @skindippedingold
    @skindippedingold 9 місяців тому +35

    Please please be careful!!! I’ve been dealing with one since 2018. He vandalized my car, house, harassed my family and friends and attacked me all while having a restraining order and being on probation. The psychological toll is immense.

    • @squarebear619
      @squarebear619 9 місяців тому +3

      Get some steel take some lessons. You have the P.O.

    • @444evy
      @444evy 9 місяців тому

      try not to make the story about yourself challenge: IMPOSSIBLE

  • @itsme-ih2cx
    @itsme-ih2cx 9 місяців тому +50

    Nowadays with men socializing less and less with the expansion of technology and social media is making these men more creepy and stalkerish. Ive had 2 stalkers in the last 2-3 years.

    • @unicorn73212
      @unicorn73212 9 місяців тому +9

      Yeah I always find myself having to constantly look around me and behind me so they don't walk up on me they look for women that aren't paying attention and they walk up on them and they inform you that they don't like you. Why should women be forced to birth people like this? What purpose is he serving?

    • @Tessy29k
      @Tessy29k 9 місяців тому +8

      It doesn't surprise me. I had someone completely random try and contact my friends on IG to find out private details about my fiance. People are crazy nowadays no boundaries at all.

    • @ItsSimplyAless
      @ItsSimplyAless 21 день тому

      When I was 14, I had a stalker that was 18 and he didn't leave me alone for over six years. He's always on and off. The Kicker is.. I'm now in a relationship with his ex friend (dw my s/o cut contact with him completely a while back and he didn't know the extent of the situation at the time)

  • @GenXsinglefree
    @GenXsinglefree 9 місяців тому +26

    It's a shame that you can't legally do much until after you're physically attacked. Even if you're threatened with violence, it's still minimal recourse by law. If you're in a state that allows you to carry, please get licensed and trained. This man has been getting away with his criminal behavior for years, so he has no fear.

    • @haroldharold9042
      @haroldharold9042 9 місяців тому +9

      The law is really lacking when it comes to crimes that predominantly affect women.

    • @catcat9582
      @catcat9582 9 місяців тому +2

      We need to mobilize and call our representatives bc this will get worse as women avoid more men sadly

  • @jazmya581
    @jazmya581 9 місяців тому +22

    I remember leaving my apartment building and some guy whom I do not know said ''hey you've slimmed down a lot'', it scared the living crap out of me. This man, who I later found out was a neighbor had been watching me enough to see changes in my body. I was angry, terrified, and literally never left my apartment.

  • @ijustneedausername6742
    @ijustneedausername6742 9 місяців тому +36

    This is a situation where all the women need to confront him together at once. 20 women chasing you like Valkyries out of the apartment complex 🔪🔪🔪

    • @empresssk
      @empresssk 9 місяців тому +7

      Love it. Co-sign!

  • @SunKissedBlissed
    @SunKissedBlissed 9 місяців тому +37

    I’ve had 3 stalkers in my young life. Stalkers all fall into 5 different categories when you research the psychology behind it. There’s the intimacy stalker, the predatory stalker, the incompetent stalker, the resentful stalker, and the rejected stalker. I’ve had a predatory, a rejected, and a resentful stalker. All were relentless and while things have cooled off, I’m unsure if they will pop up again. The guy in this case sounds like an incompetent stalker.
    Sadly, the police don’t take stalking seriously. Document, document, document. Create a stalking log and still try to get a police report so you can have a record with the police on file. Do not engage with the stalker but in the least, tell the stalker firmly to stop contacting you.
    This is why women need to not only secure several forms of protection but to get into spirituality. I feel like if it wasn’t for me lighting a candle on these bitches nothing would have cooled off the way it has now. You gotta find the power in you and invoke it on their asses! It’s nothing to be afraid of.

  • @lillybilly9954
    @lillybilly9954 9 місяців тому +35

    How unfair that one person is allowed to cause all that harm. And this is not “creepy behavior”. This is unhinged threatening aggressive behavior. When we say someone is being a creep, they don’t think this is the type of stuff people are doing. They think we mean unwanted attention.

    • @BellaVidaMercy
      @BellaVidaMercy 9 місяців тому +1

      @ville__ what’s more crazy is how strong God is against wicked people! 💪🏾🙏🏾
      9 “For evil men will be done away with…
      10 Just a little while longer, and the wicked will be no more;
      You will look at where they were,
      And they will not be there.”
      Psalm 37: 9, 10
      Vengeance belongs to God, and he will repay, in a large way!
      Jehovah God is Almighty 🙌🏾 his strength is unmatched!
      You’re not intimidating anyone, you’re just here doing the demons’ & Satan’s work. You will reap what you sow, very soon.

    • @jostockton.
      @jostockton. 7 місяців тому

      ​@ville__why have you spammed this on 3 different comments...?

  • @deborahfrederick916
    @deborahfrederick916 9 місяців тому +35

    But men wonder why the 4B movement is catching fire in the US.

  • @rwdswght4057
    @rwdswght4057 9 місяців тому +19

    As a woman, it is your highest honor to know how to use a weapon for defense should you need to. Our job is to choose mindfully which genes to allow to propagate in this world's next generation for the sake of human evolution and that honor is to be defended with certainly.

  • @yahainHotPink
    @yahainHotPink 9 місяців тому +17

    I believe you Shar. Years ago, a neighbor figured out where I lived and blasted those horrifying loud cannons, some kind of loud firecracker, at least twice after 11 pm. He got thrown out in less than 7 months. He was a racist bully. Another neighbor figured out where I lived nd would prank knock on my door and run to the staircase. Never opened my door. I reported him to management and I haven't seen him in like 2 or more years now. Not due to me. Turns out he was a problem tenant

  • @pabloescobarschanclas
    @pabloescobarschanclas 9 місяців тому +38

    the fact that this is the second recent video i’ve encountered today of a woman dealing with a stalker….i can’t stand this world, man

  • @ThandoNdlovu-zr3ld
    @ThandoNdlovu-zr3ld 9 місяців тому +24

    I swear people need to get the hint if someone is not interested please please 🙏🙏🙏 leave them alone

    • @alexussk
      @alexussk 9 місяців тому +3

      He's crae that's why

    • @CutePiggy-o8d
      @CutePiggy-o8d 9 місяців тому

      He's a psychopath

  • @YourRichAuntie
    @YourRichAuntie 9 місяців тому +18

    These situations are so bad - building management needs to get involved. I used to live in a large 41-story building with a lot of amenities including a coffee machine. There was this guy who was just *too* friendly and would try to hold conversations with me and other women in an elevator or at the machine. I lived on floor 20- something and I was always uncomfortable that this guy could see what floor I lived on when I entered the elevator. Other stories started coming out about this guy and his inappropriate behavior with women walking the building alone. Once on an elevator, this guy cornered me on an elevator and demanded to know my name. I told him straight up "I'm not comfortable telling you that" and got off on a floor other than my own. I bought a condo and moved a short time later, but I wondered what happened to that man if they were able to get this guy out of the building

  • @elenawalker517
    @elenawalker517 9 місяців тому +15

    Shar just reading this video caption made my stomach hurt. Please as much as you can help it be careful, trust your intuition, and employ people around you the police etc. Sending blessings to you.

  • @carlacookingvegan
    @carlacookingvegan 9 місяців тому +35

    Does this Dusty even have a job? He sure has a lot of time on his hands. I hope this situation gets resolved ASAP.

  • @CharlieApples
    @CharlieApples 9 місяців тому +34

    You and the other people in the building may want to request that the property owners hire a security guard until he’s evicted. If the property owner won’t do it, you could probably pool money for one.

    • @heidizuri
      @heidizuri 9 місяців тому +3

      Yes great idea!

  • @Wildtingz
    @Wildtingz 9 місяців тому +23

    This is drastic but a good way to put some fire under the police department about this is to contact you biggest local news station. Let them know you guys fear for your life and show them what you’ve shown us. I live in a major city and they do exposés like this a lot and it gets the attention it needs. I wish you all well and pray for your safety!

  • @clvsterfvckofwhatthefvck7981
    @clvsterfvckofwhatthefvck7981 9 місяців тому +15

    I'm so sorry y'all are having to deal with this. It's insane how the predators/perpetrators are protected when victims aren't.

  • @zyyl1949
    @zyyl1949 9 місяців тому +30

    This video came up recommended. It’s very important to note that stalkers are psychopaths, they refuse to accept when the ‘shared fantasy’ is over as it’s their way or the highway. I know many people know this, but you’re dealing with a psychopath if you have a stalker and not just a crazy dude, narcissist or generic weirdo

  • @Naturallynatural3
    @Naturallynatural3 9 місяців тому +25

    I stopped going to the gym in my apartment building because of a weird guy. Im sorry to hear you’re going through this.

    • @TheGoodLifeStarterPack
      @TheGoodLifeStarterPack 7 місяців тому +1

      I stopped going to my apartment building as well. Not because of a weird guy, but just on general principle: not enough witnesses should I be there alone with one other person. Public park or commercial gym it is!

    • @mozarkozark
      @mozarkozark 3 місяці тому

      Stopped going to my gym because I kept seeing the same 20 girls. They were all stalking me.

  • @ViraL_FootprinT.ex.e
    @ViraL_FootprinT.ex.e 9 місяців тому +30

    A friend of mine ended up moving from Florida to California to get away from her stalker. And he still tried to track her down there. Stay safe 🙏🏾

    • @sharhenley
      @sharhenley  9 місяців тому +5

      Yikes. Wishing her the best.

  • @Liz-wz8dh
    @Liz-wz8dh 9 місяців тому +39

    Please also consider hiding your information on the internet. Stalkers often turn into great researchers.

  • @purplek5218
    @purplek5218 9 місяців тому +42

    He NEEDS TO GOOOO!!!! He's working up the nerve to SA etc.

    • @susiebear3316
      @susiebear3316 9 місяців тому +7

      Exactly 💯

    • @LadyAstarionAncunin
      @LadyAstarionAncunin 9 місяців тому +13

      Thank you. It is always a pattern of intensification!!!

    • @CMStrawbridge
      @CMStrawbridge 9 місяців тому +6

      Sounds like he had already, just none of them remember because they were roofied

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 9 місяців тому +2

      Exactly. Behaviors already escalating? No way he doesn't get to that point. And then the cops MAY care.

    • @purplek5218
      @purplek5218 9 місяців тому +3

      @@CMStrawbridge whoa I must've missed that part.

  • @bornaries7213
    @bornaries7213 9 місяців тому +24

    I've never heard of a community where everyone is in a group chat! 🤔
    I barely talk to individuals where I live at unless I know them personally!

    • @Seeingisntbelieving
      @Seeingisntbelieving 9 місяців тому +5

      We have one, but it’s a more app based system called Cobu. You don’t get the numbers of the members and you can only reach out to registered people.

  • @tyckeri
    @tyckeri 9 місяців тому +14

    Bring your father and brothers around! Next time you see him cover head with your jacket and go "la la la la" loud and run!! Make a scen!! And look crazy. staleness does not work on these people. You have shut it down before they get comfortable and nothing will fase them.
    Happened to after 4 months of suffering, he showed up at my work! Said "hi , you look beautiful today" like we were dating. Thats when it really hit me. I got so mad and scared and the same time. I made the biggest scen during the scen i called my dad who called the guy right then. He did not answer the call. He just looked at me shocked because this is the first time I actually talked to him. I think it killed his delusions that he had build in his head.
    After that i never heard nor saw him again. He moved and changed his number because my dad tried calling him again check. 🤣

  • @user_7239
    @user_7239 9 місяців тому +20

    Ladies: sign up at your local BJJ gym and learn how to apply pressure to carotid artery’s to cause a loss of heart beat. That’s what BJJ teaches. How to neutralize threats to your satisfaction.

  • @suzannaflores1164
    @suzannaflores1164 9 місяців тому +17

    I do martial arts now - and the tables are turning - 3 years into BJJ, I am the predator's problem now, strap up ladies, use your voice, deep diaphragm yelling and projecting, mace up, strengthen up your bodies, head on a swivel, ask the pervs for money, I have a handful of techniques I now utilize with every situation, every day. It is literally getting into war-zone mentality, and I consider makeup and looking beautiful a part of my war-get up, every day from the moment I walk out of the door. GET STRONG. WE ARE THE REAL POWER. Good luck!

  • @EH_888
    @EH_888 9 місяців тому +31

    “Nice guy” behavior.

  • @TheRacqgrl769
    @TheRacqgrl769 9 місяців тому +11

    I've had more than one stalker, unfortunately. After telling certain people I know, they were no longer a problem. I did run into one a few years later, and he stared at me for a long time. I ignored him, while also watching him. I was out with friends and let them know. One of them revealed that he had done the same to her and that her brothers dealt with him.

  • @halliadams5987
    @halliadams5987 9 місяців тому +9

    I hope this situation has resolved. I can't imagine the emotional upheaval this is causing. Unfortunately, that's what he seems to thrive on. SMH.

  • @seraiahdaniella3755
    @seraiahdaniella3755 9 місяців тому +26

    I had a stalker - an ex. He doxxed me, came to my house, took a picture of himself on my porch, and posted it side by side with my selfie on that same porch. He then spent hours talking shit about me online. All his posts were reported by me to Facebook for violence - and FB didn't ban him, apparently because none of the posts fell into that category, even though he'd made multiple threats.
    The way I handled this was... unconventional. 👀 I used spiritual means. He disrupted my peace and threatened my safety, so I felt 100% justified in doing what needed to be done. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I don't know what happened to him specifically, but I never saw or heard from him again, except for a FB post months later, where he uncharacteristically posted about having a heavy head and a broken heart.
    Your stalker sounds like the type of person that I would happily hex. 😎

    • @SunKissedBlissed
      @SunKissedBlissed 9 місяців тому +4

      Girl you need to disclose that “spiritual means” or point me to where because I’ve had 3 intense cases of stalking. It literally just takes 1 to mess you up, but 3?! Smh. They’ve cooled off as of now, but I’ve done some spiritual stuff and chants to Kali Ma for protection. I think the chants have helped but 2/3 have proven relentless over the years, and I need it to cease to 100%.

    • @seraiahdaniella3755
      @seraiahdaniella3755 9 місяців тому +6

      ​@@SunKissedBlissed I put multiple hexes on him, for months. Anger is a powerful force to work with in spell work. Plus I sent certain spirits to his house. I had a good relationship with them, and they were aware of the grief he'd caused and REALLY wanted to help me.

    • @SunKissedBlissed
      @SunKissedBlissed 9 місяців тому +3

      ⁠​⁠@@seraiahdaniella3755 You’re absolutely right on that anger bit! Ok, sounds like something I’ve done other than using specific spirits to help me besides the recent Kali Ma. I’ll look more into it. I do have a book that works with the dark side, but I didn’t entertain it fully yet. Sometimes I’m afraid to tap in but there is nothing to fear because this is justice.

  • @jayare6804
    @jayare6804 9 місяців тому +30

    The amount of effort, time, and resources that are being devoted to staying safe because of one man's inappropriate and criminal behavior is astonishing. think about how many women are being affected by this and he is just running around without any consequences.

  • @mizzmolly7649
    @mizzmolly7649 9 місяців тому +21

    He's probably watching your UA-cam videos and is getting a kick out of you talking about him. Time to carry the pepper spray 24/7.

  • @Harlem-ub3tn
    @Harlem-ub3tn 9 місяців тому +13

    Carry a can of hairspray and in your purse. Works wonders for misbehaved men .

  • @ChocolateBabe_
    @ChocolateBabe_ 9 місяців тому +10

    You’re so beautiful girl. Please be safe out here.

  • @ChevonJBenzo
    @ChevonJBenzo 9 місяців тому +19

    Document document document. Even if the police don’t think it’s important to notify them or file a report, do it, because when the time comes and God forbid you may have to defend yourself; have all the evidence presented.

  • @gravityclarity
    @gravityclarity 9 місяців тому +27

    That guy is creepy. He should be reported by all of the women he has stalked to the police. Your hair looks so nice by the way!

  • @twigtansy5359
    @twigtansy5359 9 місяців тому +11

    Please stay safe and protect yourself ❤️I’m really sorry that you and the other residents in your building are experiencing this

  • @LilithTheAquarian369
    @LilithTheAquarian369 9 місяців тому +28

    I did a freezer banishment spell. Never seen again. Also under certain circumstances ask for a lot of money, like 20K and up that usually works they run for the hills.

    • @jostockton.
      @jostockton. 7 місяців тому

      Witchcraft is evil and will only bring you harm. Only Jesus saves.

  • @prairie_dog_5443
    @prairie_dog_5443 9 місяців тому +12

    This is soooo stressful and dangerous, especially when it happens at your home where it suppose to be safe. I am so sorry Shar😢 Please document, document and document everything and put the cameras outside of your apartment.

  • @mommak10
    @mommak10 9 місяців тому +15

    Please be careful and stay safe 🙏🏽 there’s way too many attacks against women right now I’m even scared to talk to a guy ❤😢

  • @angelahervey5445
    @angelahervey5445 9 місяців тому +24

    That man is dangerous. He's mentally unstable. He's in all the women faces trying to get them alone. File a protection order against him. Everyone in the building he could easily snap and hurt everyone. I'll be praying for everyone ones safety🙏🙏

    • @LadyAstarionAncunin
      @LadyAstarionAncunin 9 місяців тому +3

      You say that, but if you listen to the Strictly Stalking podcast or watch any stalking-based media, you'll find out that it's VERY difficult to get a order of protection against someone, especially based on where someone lives, and then stalkers can get in some critical hits for several years without one ever being granted, even when the survivor keeps reporting what the stalker is doing. It's not easy by any means unless you have legislation, police, and judges who'll take it seriously. I've lost count of the stories I've heard, and it's so frustrating.
      The system favors the stalker, and even if they're prosecuted, they'll either get a handful of years or, more likely, none, after they've ruined someone's life and changed them irrevocably.

  • @themissmay
    @themissmay 9 місяців тому +16

    I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this …. My mom dealt with stockers when she was married and in her 20s. She even had someone who creeped around by the house when she was alone and there were a lot of close calls. Luckily, nothing bad ever happened but stockers are very real.

  • @ReallyMaxx
    @ReallyMaxx 9 місяців тому +27

    NGL, this is Hella upsetting, but so expected. SMH I wish that women and children were as protected as men are..

    • @b_740
      @b_740 9 місяців тому +1

      How are men protected? They're statistically more likely to be victims of v i0lent crime.

  • @dangermauz754
    @dangermauz754 9 місяців тому +13

    In my personal opinion, I think that the main reason law enforcement becomes lax is because it's purely intentional. The truth is, in order to get justice we have to advocate for ourselves so strongly that they have to act upon it. Keep getting the restraining orders. Keep filing police reports. Imagine how hard fought battles were won in court by women for equality and the right to get to vote? Unfortunately, that's what has to happen. In this case, women have to make the choice to get involved in and run for these offices in order to get justice. We have to take our freedoms way more seriously. Especially, when you have creepers in office "speaking in tongues" on state emblems. XY is completely invested in undoing women's rights. You'd think this wouldn't be an issue. But, here we are.

  • @Aly-yt7td
    @Aly-yt7td 9 місяців тому +9

    I'm so sorry you having to deal with this. The take way points you make about how this issue relates to the current issues in iur greater society are very insightful. Some people are probably going through these things alone and don't have a community to speak up about this. Having community is important

  • @Generic819
    @Generic819 9 місяців тому +28

    If dude can take this much rejection and take that as encouragement to keep trying, he is seriously mentally ill.

    • @MsJonessss
      @MsJonessss 9 місяців тому +13

      A lot of him are walking around. Its crazy. And disgusting.

  • @yougotOWENd
    @yougotOWENd 9 місяців тому +18

    Gather the evidence, camera footage and all, and report the guy to the police with every witness present that is willing to testify.

  • @amyyaku5022
    @amyyaku5022 9 місяців тому +13

    Remember a guy stalking me around Midway airport. He called me a 'queen' and keep hitting on me and looking at my backside. Happened in my late teens or so so I didn't know what to do and there were people around so I tried ignoring him. Luckily he didn't follow me to boarding and I got on my flight safely. Never saw him again.
    Sadly these situations will keep happening until the cops and anyone involved can take these things more seriously. It doesn't matter how many victims speak out if nothing's done about it😔

  • @KicesiesVlog
    @KicesiesVlog 9 місяців тому +26

    Good job calling him A stalker and not MY. I know that's a big tip.
    The stalkers I've known have been more...targeted. While it's horrific, thank goodness you have such community support because of how prevalent his behavior is.
    The terrifying thing is that women will have to play dodge the creep until the creep finally assaults or ends a woman and is caught. Our system shouldn't be this.... unresponsive!!
    If you become friends with some cops who work the beat they may be willing to go above and beyond to catch him outside of his apartment (like in the gym) but is it worth the.... unique misery.... of getting to know a cop? I dunno. (sorry ya'll. my ex was a cop. I have an intense bias against. But they can be useful and are actually pretty helpful if they simply WANT to be your hero)
    Sorry you're all going through this!

  • @mochamommyATX
    @mochamommyATX 9 місяців тому +23

    I am so sorry this is happening to you. You don't deserve this.

  • @Liz-wz8dh
    @Liz-wz8dh 9 місяців тому +13

    This is so awful. Girl, be careful. I've had a stalker before.There's basically like no protections from stalkers (male or female). I've talked to cops before and they are so apathetic and even the ones who cared were just like "nothing I can do." It's apparently always like that. That's why stalkers...are stalkers. You're right about the creepers in the neighborhood. Mine hid out in a wealthy neighborhood and he was SO well isolated and insulated because he kept to himself mostly except for having a JUST likeable enough nonpersona to avoid the wrong kind of attention. He had a long history of mental illness but was clearly able to keep it together enough to harass women and stay away from the highly illegal behaviors. Couldn't hold down a job anymore because of his inability to suppress his rage and pettiness issues. I doubt his neighbors knew what he was doing but he was basically banned from all the dating websites and seemed proud of it because he had to find workarounds to get back on them. He had way too much time on his hands to plan out elaborate ways of harassing, psychologically bullying women JUST enough for it to be legal and hard to prove. It took me a while to figure out what he was doing, but I think he was basically one of those narcissistic red pill psychos who was only dating women to try and get them pregnant so they couldn't get away from him completely. He just enjoyed punishing women everytime he felt they did something to him. Stalkers are the worst.

  • @ongoingsky9347
    @ongoingsky9347 9 місяців тому +21

    So glad I'm finally licensed to carry 😊

  • @alesol213
    @alesol213 9 місяців тому +12

    Maybe when he leaves the door locks can be changed.. and squatter rights ends..

  • @Kabarile31
    @Kabarile31 9 місяців тому +12

    Being stalked is nothing short of a nightmare. It happened to me numerous times when I was in Nigeria. My father and male relatives got involved each time that it happened. In the United States, when it happened I simply moved to another city with my son. I did not feel confident then to report my stalker to the police. I am sorry that this is happening to you. You might have to break the lease and move to another building.

  • @shinebabyshine.
    @shinebabyshine. 9 місяців тому +21

    i would move because even if he's kicked out of the building he could try to seek revenge

    • @catcat9582
      @catcat9582 9 місяців тому +2

      He definitely will w the blood and squatting. That was his beginning of it

    • @MissRayneNerdiiChicK
      @MissRayneNerdiiChicK 9 місяців тому +5

      THat's what I'm most concerned about, because he's been harassing multiple people so he will take it out on everyone. This can be a precursor to him attempting to unalive everyone/whole building. I hope they take this threat serious and have this possibility in mind so they can be hyper-vigilant.

  • @CrystalCordova
    @CrystalCordova 9 місяців тому +53

    You’re one of the only smart ones titling this video “I’m dealing with a stalker” and NOT “MY STALKER” 👏🏼👏🏼
    …but I just heard you call him your stalker, ladies; NEVER do this! They feel like you’re calling them yours which feeds into their obsessive delusions 🙄

  • @Raddiebaddie
    @Raddiebaddie 9 місяців тому +13

    I’m so sorry shar, please protect yourself. Let us know if you are okay. I am worried that sometimes stalkers like to be talked about even if it’s negative like finding this video of yours :( but at the same time these discussions are important… how many people does he have to scare before they remove him from the building?

  • @ultravioletmix33
    @ultravioletmix33 9 місяців тому +24

    Seems like he doesn’t have a job because he might be receiving some type of assistance for his mental disability. I disagreed with regular income apartments having to set aside a few apartment units for housing vouchers. Situations like this is why men receiving public assistance do not belong around neurotypical people.
    If you are looking to lease an apartment, be sure to ask if they accept housing vouchers. If they do, keep looking. You don’t want to risk living in close proximity to someone who is potentially mentally unstable. This man belongs is a halfway house or a psych ward. He clearly has too much free time on his hands.

    • @Ria-sd2ex
      @Ria-sd2ex 9 місяців тому +8

      People that receive assistance usually don't have the type of money to live where this woman lives. He clearly is someone that has actual, disposable income.

    • @ultravioletmix33
      @ultravioletmix33 9 місяців тому +6

      @@Ria-sd2ex not necessarily, in some states, new apartment buildings (including some luxury apartments) have to set aside a few units for housing vouchers. Depending on the amount of the voucher, a mentally disabled person receiving public assistance can afford to live in a luxury apartment. Maybe that isn’t the case for this guy, but it’s something to look out for when apartment shopping. People wanting your money and advertising as luxury are not always going to disclose information that might deter you from spending with them.

    • @Ria-sd2ex
      @Ria-sd2ex 9 місяців тому +4

      @@ultravioletmix33 Tell me where you've seen this happen, please? People that receive assistance and do not have disposable income would have a hell of a time affording a place like that. Even with a voucher. It's just not possible to afford something like that on a small, fixed income. But I'd love to know where you witnessed this.

    • @ultravioletmix33
      @ultravioletmix33 9 місяців тому +3

      @@Ria-sd2ex sweetie, I’m not trying to convince you. The facts: Luxury is a spectrum in the apartment world, low end luxury buildings in some states are required to accept housing vouchers and high end luxury apartments might not be required to do so.

    • @Ria-sd2ex
      @Ria-sd2ex 9 місяців тому +2

      @@ultravioletmix33 I wasn't asking you to "convince me". I was asking what evidence you have of this. Anyone can just say things, honey. The reality is not what you're describing, however. Also, what is "low end luxury?". It's either a Luxury apartment, or it's not. No one anywhere in this country requires these apartments to have vouchers for people who are mentally ill/poor. You have to have money, period.

  • @ShannonMichelle7937
    @ShannonMichelle7937 9 місяців тому +13

    Oh hell no Shar. Please, please, have mace at the very least. I can’t imagine feeling uncomfortable in your own building.

  • @mindyourownbusinessplease1120
    @mindyourownbusinessplease1120 9 місяців тому +14

    Maybe he needs to be admitted into 72 hour hold for a mental health, ocd/ stalking behavior can be caused by meds, brain injurty or trauma.

  • @karmAnonymous
    @karmAnonymous 9 місяців тому +21

    I HATE to be the kind of woman that seems dismissive, I just want to say that Ive dealt with stalking SEVERAL times as well... my life has been on the line way too many times until I finally abruptly disappeared & haven't stayed in one place too long over a year now & have changed my # & phone company wayyyy too many freaking times & so much more in order to stay aloof & anonymous.... & isolated for my safety... 😞
    I don't want to seem dismissive for essentially saying "me too", I just wanted to share because I'm SICK & FUXXING TIRED OF US GOING THROUGH THIS FUXXING SHXX & LORD KNOWS THE LEGAL SYSTEM DOESN'T GIVE A SHXX & will go as far as to dog whistle-type of clowning us & making us out to be hysterical, lobotomizing-needing females RIGHT before our daxx disappearance &/or funerals 🤬😮‍💨😢

  • @copperredd
    @copperredd 9 місяців тому +19

    Like... Take a hint, creep! Stalker stories r so infuriating... I'm so sorry this is happening to u...

  • @DylanJuza
    @DylanJuza 9 місяців тому +22

    No way. This makes perfect sense. He drugs drinks. It’s the easiest way to SA people. He’s dangerous af.

  • @Aj14x
    @Aj14x 7 місяців тому +21

    When stalkers lose all contact is when they are most dangerous. Watch out.

  • @mooka4515
    @mooka4515 8 місяців тому +26

    Sad to read some of the comments excusing this. He is a f*cking stalker.

  • @Mysteriouslydangerous-d6f
    @Mysteriouslydangerous-d6f 9 місяців тому +9

    I’m currently going through this. Please watch yourself at all times and give someone your location. It’s crazy because stalkers know it’s hard to prove especially if you’re driving. If you have text messages keep them. If you have phone calls keep them. The guy that’s stalking me has no connection to me other than school. Never been to my home but somehow developed an obsession with me.

  • @gurlwhowants2dj
    @gurlwhowants2dj 9 місяців тому +19

    Sounds like a crime show. He is trying to level up until he actually ends someones life. This is scary.

  • @Blaublahblue
    @Blaublahblue 9 місяців тому +11

    So happy to see more of your content, glad you returned to youtube

  • @adrianwillis66
    @adrianwillis66 9 місяців тому +18

    Gurl I believe it. Trust me, people are weird.

  • @keishamc5228
    @keishamc5228 9 місяців тому +19

    Even if he leave you all Still need to be careful, cause even when they do stuff to you they will be mad because you didnt allow them to disrespect you and take advantage of you and its good you are reporting this because they start small and then they escalate , Dont ever open your door without checking and taking a weapon to the door with you and if you dont have one , you need to look into one as well as training

  • @coolbreeze5683
    @coolbreeze5683 9 місяців тому +12

    Apartment group chat?! No thanks! I wouldn't want anyone in my building having my number, except for my neighbour who I'm friends with and the property manager.
    If that guy has assaulted people already, he shouldn't just be removed from the community but should be arrested.

  • @Everyoneisanartist776
    @Everyoneisanartist776 9 місяців тому +26

    What I like is that are 50+ random woman who wrote really bad reviews on this one guy (I think the story is out of Cali) and now everyone one knows to stay clear of him! He actually suing them but he has no case. lol And! Where it was just Cali women, that was aware of the story, now that he’s suing, the entire country knows to run the opposite direction when he come around. LOL!!
    THIS is what women need in times like these, a national registry on all the dusties, cheaters, DL and violent men out here.

    • @stephaniemccabe2219
      @stephaniemccabe2219 9 місяців тому +3

      Have y'all tried to file a restraining order in him? I'd even go so far as to look into a civil suit case, like a low key class action. If the law won't help you then go the civil route, I would also suggest starting to go to therapy and claim that this person is putting u in this position to do so ( power in numbers ladies! The more of you that do this the better). Also maybe hold a woman's only self defense class at the building?! Get the energy and point across and learn some skills... Then I would start writing complaints online like next door or Twitter or Yelp about this dude in your building and how nothing is being done. Again if you do this as a group and stay persistent then maybe you can not only help yourselves and bring attention to the situation, you might be able to highlight this situation and make some change. This absolutely shouldn't be on y'all to get this done, but when woman comes together they can get ah&t done💪

  • @Ombudsman-jg6mn
    @Ombudsman-jg6mn 9 місяців тому +21

    It sounds like your creepers' behaviors are elevating into something that can potentially be dangerous. It also sounds like he may have a developmental disability. I would suggest that the women try to avoid contact with this person and carry something for protection. If there are parents in your building, I would strongly advise them to make sure that their children are monitored at ALL times. Sometimes if they can't get the attention from their original source, they will go to the most vulnerable.

  • @ayamempress1579
    @ayamempress1579 9 місяців тому +12

    I'm sorry you have to go through this.... it would be great if men were held accountable for their behaviour

  • @skindippedingold
    @skindippedingold 9 місяців тому +21

    Can you or someone in the group chat get the local media involved?! Usually that’s what can get the ball rolling in these situations.

  • @heyhollymei
    @heyhollymei 9 місяців тому +25

    This is why I carry

  • @saraho9568
    @saraho9568 9 місяців тому +12

    Why wasn't there a background check done on this guy before he moved in? So scary!!
    The only thing that's worked for me with a creep is taking a phone call while i wait for coffee. Or texting on my phone and being super distracted. Also, answering his questions wrong to let him know you're not listening. Just act busy and he might get the hint. But he might not.

    • @Raddiebaddie
      @Raddiebaddie 9 місяців тому +8

      Sometimes there is a background check that shows nothing because he may not have been caught/ prosecuted/ convicted of a crime

    • @saraho9568
      @saraho9568 9 місяців тому +7

      @@Raddiebaddie They ran one after his creepy behavior and it showed a ton of stuff from years ago. I feel like the building dropped the ball on this one.

    • @Raddiebaddie
      @Raddiebaddie 9 місяців тому

      @@saraho9568 ooof thats even worse they really did drop the ball then!

  • @MC-ww2tv
    @MC-ww2tv 9 місяців тому +12

    I am so sorry for you all going through this Shar. Many years ago we had a similar situation in our building. Despite all the reports, it wasnt taken completely seriously. he just kept escalating and it truly did not end well. Do not let yourself become his worst case scenario victim. I know you are smart but they catch even the smartest. I am so glad you are video documenting this....document every little thing!! In the event he does leave, remember it isn't over. Never let your guard down and realize people like this are scary patient...I am so sorry our systems keep failing us so badly. Also, because of his long record and many initial complaints you should all file a suit against your building/lessing agency. You have good cause, it isn't too expensive to file, and they knowingly let a predator into your lives.

  • @thepragmatist
    @thepragmatist 9 місяців тому +11

    It's so unfortunate that one man can cause so much upheaval and I am sorry you (and your building) is going through this. I did a deep dive into this type of behavior and most of the time, these patterns are formed in teenage years and continued throughout the person's lifespan. If public shunning and repeated rejection is not enough to stop this guy, that is not a good sign. My experience has been that the only thing these people understand is fear of some type of loss. I'm a bisexual woman and I had a female stalker (went on one date with her ~ met online) and she stalked me for two years. Unlike having a male stalker, I did not fear for my safety. She was an attorney and the stalking continued until I threatened to call the bar association in the state in which we both resided and report her. The stalking mysteriously stopped after that. I should have done this much sooner but I kept hoping if I just ignored her, she would go away. The whole fear thing is a double edged sword because it could conversely ramp up the stalking. It really depends on the profile and the psychological makeup of the stalker. The one thing I have learned is that they are never thinking of you and how you feel...it's all about them and what they want. All the best to you dealing with this situation.

  • @BlackNella
    @BlackNella 9 місяців тому +12

    Oh hell no. He needs to get out of that building. I might watch too much true crime but this can end very badly.

  • @embluvya
    @embluvya 8 місяців тому +20

    "Why don't women like me?! It's not fair!"
    The guy:

  • @What.The.Chell_lol
    @What.The.Chell_lol 8 місяців тому +81

    WHY is youtube non stop reccomending me " i have a stalker" video from people i've enever seen or heard of before!? i'm not a stalker content watcher lol whyyyy is this all they want to show me !?

    • @basil6060
      @basil6060 8 місяців тому +4

      me too lol

    • @What.The.Chell_lol
      @What.The.Chell_lol 8 місяців тому +5

      @@basil6060 The main reason why I wrote this comment was to see if it was happening to other people too. Appreciate the response lol

    • @sarahbear7551
      @sarahbear7551 8 місяців тому +1

      @@What.The.Chell_lol it keeps happening to me too lol

    • @beamuah
      @beamuah 8 місяців тому +1

      Same

    • @DinatheDiva
      @DinatheDiva 8 місяців тому +2

      Did you see the baby reindeer? The show from Netflix?

  • @lindanamulondo4289
    @lindanamulondo4289 9 місяців тому +27

    Get cameras around your door 🚪.

    • @valeriew4833
      @valeriew4833 9 місяців тому +1

      All a camera can do is watch me get fd up. At this point, I want something more.

  • @Kenny-nu3co
    @Kenny-nu3co 8 місяців тому +22

    I have one patient like this. He told me he biked an hour to see me, and that I was so cute etc etc but he made me so uncomfortable so I told my boss and now whenever he comes in my boss with steamroll infront of me so I can leave the area and he will just deal with him. The shock on the patients face when my manager just slid infront of me and took over was priceless but I was genuinely scared

  • @islandofthemind
    @islandofthemind 9 місяців тому +16

    Get a real baton (not Amazon) and learn how to swing it correctly at the wrists to buy time to escape an assault. And pepper gel is better than pepper spray in confined spaces and leaves traceable invisible dye.

  • @Harlem-ub3tn
    @Harlem-ub3tn 9 місяців тому +16

    Aim for the eyes

    • @Luver4lyfe
      @Luver4lyfe 9 місяців тому +4

      Or throat, scrotum.

    • @CharlieApples
      @CharlieApples 9 місяців тому +3

      Eyes, throat, solar plexus (above the belly button), balls, knees, feet

  • @triloization
    @triloization 9 місяців тому +9

    I hope this nightmare ends ASAP. Best wishes ♥️♥️♥️

  • @SininenKT
    @SininenKT 9 місяців тому +29

    13:54 this is exactly why the police told me not to block mine. If they can’t “access” you online or on the phone then they’re more likely to try to find you in real life. It’s so messed up.

    • @monicatoro2286
      @monicatoro2286 9 місяців тому +1

      Whaaaat, I was thinking that if this ever happened to me I'd just completely erase everything anout me from the internet (I honestly don't care too much about social media so I don't care), but now you made me think it's not a good idea. That's awful.

  • @Blue_Azure101
    @Blue_Azure101 9 місяців тому +11

    I had a feeling something was off..

  • @aetatismedia
    @aetatismedia 9 місяців тому +18

    Please check your unit, coffee area, and hallways carefully. Many of these types of people don't just rely on monitoring your behavioral patterns but actually place small surveillance devices to track your movements, which means the stalking can persist even if he's removed.