Chris Distefano's 9/11 Story
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- Опубліковано 12 вер 2019
- Chris tells us about his experience from 9/11! 👉 Follow me and to check out more UNCUT WILD STORIES GO HERE 👉 / chrisdcomedy 👈
Chris Distefano shares on September 11th, 2019 his experience of where he was when the Twin Towers fell on 9/11/2001. He was in high school at the time at an all-boys catholic school experimenting with Winstrol. The emotions really got to him when he thought his mother had died in the attack as she worked in the second Twin Tower. She survived and was okay but as the city was mourning, Chris was facing expulsion. WATCH THE WHOLE CLIP AND HEAR HIS TRUE STORY!!
#ChrisDistefano #Comedy #September11Story
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YAASSSSSSSSSSS! APPRECIATE ALL YOU BABES CHECKING OUT THIS CLIP! I WAS LIT!
WXZ
This was great man. 10/10 comedy you are def on my top list of comedians to watch now!
CHRISSY D!!!!!!!!!
Bro, you're fucking hilarious lmao
Shut up...BILL
the youtube algorithm recommended strikes hot again
Amen like this guy is hilarious
Right comedy algorithm is getting it. I think you gotta be tuned in to key players though.
Right after I watched him and Sal on Something’s Burning!
@@aquaria1885 watched that last night, great episode
Struck gold yo
“When my dad called me by my transgender name”
“Easy fucking breezy”
Had me dying!!!
Is he trans?
@@gabrielkeeler6122 no he's joking
No his transgender name is Chrissy boneheaded bozzo easy breezy reminded him of cover girl.... mabaleen duh weiner breath get it right
This is how you make trans jokes that ARENT offensive!! This was hilarious
@@certifiednerd542 the offensive ones are great too tho
"... well look at that! whoopdeedoo! you're not on the phone" the most New York thing ever said.
Now you're not on the phone. **
I swear my dead aunt's ghost just came through my house after that phrase. Rattling walls and shit like she pays the bills here
Pictured Adam Sandler saying that at that part for some reason lol
@@WillaHerrera ?
“Crissy, Lock the fucking door”
Somebody really needs to animate this story
I would love that
Me an animation student: Hmmmm 🤔
It is! Well taped as live action. Comedy Central did it. It's on youtube!
@@Message167 Yeah but this telling if the story is better.
@@MCShvabo absolutely agreed. Just letting the OP know.
“I’m daddy’s little princess and I know what daddy wants”😭😭😭😭
Bunny Rodriguez ☠️
💀💀
That's what we colloquially call 'a mood'
It was good until the 😭😭😭😭
Bunny Rodriguez 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣
What I love about this is he's just drunk enough that it fucks up his delivery a little but in a way that makes it funnier while retaining all the goodness. Seriously one of the best bits in the history of comedy.
100%, good observation
As a all guy catholic high school alumni, when he said get a detention for having the top button unbuttoned... I felt that
Me too..lol.. I one time got a demerit for walking up the "down" stairs.., he was my 10th demerit and if you got ten demerits you couldn't go to the prom. They let me go because I told them I already bought the boutonniere for my girlfriend and she's ready to get picked up and I have my suit ready and already paid for it..lol...
That’s JUG
Took a Claritin, i'm ready to suck a dick. I fucking lost my mind after that. Too funny.
I went to a coed Catholic school in Napa and would get sent home for any dress code violation. I once forgot my tie for dress up day for mass and was sent home and got detention and had also had to go to Saturday school and do community service. 🥲
He is so New York it hurts
@ghadixsa nice
Davide C. Glad u think so
Wesley Caffrey I think Ik what high school he went to going to an all boys catholic school in queens I think it’s holy cross
@@emanuelpapadopoulos1079 No, I think he went to Archbishop Molloy.
Tahina Felisca oh shit I forgot that was an all boys school at one point
“They got the wrong guy!”
“Here’s the thing, no they didn’t”
I CACKLED
"I know how the law works, ya fuckin' scumbag." 🤣🤣 I ugly laughed
Maury in a nutshell
🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
I have a headache now from laughing so hard and my side hurts I pulled a Sal Vulcano watching this I slipped plum off the couch into the floor and I had to catch my breath before I could actually get off the floor 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That was legitimately the funniest story I've ever heard. 1:50 am, south Austin, just me and a cigarette in the garage laughing my sweet ass off.
What the fuck is this your journal? No one cares you were smoking alone in the garage
@@Nairrrrrrr Pretty sure you read it wrong, he typed AUSTIN.
I thought it was nice
1:57 am Pittsburgh, PA i was laughing for 12 mins straight
8:32 am South Texas and laughing as well
“That’s my father he’s …*gestures*… just… *gestures* …you know?”
Absolutely, my man. Totally got it.
This guys just a natural he doesn’t even seem like he’s trying
i think the alcohol was doing all the heavy lifting.
Bro he's just telling a story
Sad Toast hater
@@chrislovesannick naw like I agree with him it's as easy as telling a story who says I'm hating??
Sad Toast bruh you really think comedy is just getting up there and telling a funny story? Try telling a Dave chapelle home and it won’t even be half as funny as it is when he is it
Best part is how many times he repeats, “i’m 17” “i’m on steroids” “true story” had me cracking up
Im drunk right now !! LMAOOOO
And he unironically says “I’ll never forget”
Your comment have 911 likes
Aiden Miranda 🤣🤣🤣😭
Or "you know"
"I'll take it 364 days of the year, NOT TODAY!!!" 😂😭😂😂
This is one of the weirdest stream of consciousness types of routines I've ever seen. He just was riffing the whole thing but that story was hilarious. The part where his father looks at the ceiling and starts laughing then asks his son to lock the door murdered me. I hated my own principle. Seeing that shit would be hilarious
Stream of consciousness? Yeah it's called conversation.
@@nologic29 RIP Norm
@@chknrsandTBBTROX73 RIP the goat 🙏😭
@@nologic29still makes me laugh man
This would be great on 'This is Not Happening'
Michael Jeffrey I’m pretty sure it is.
Michael Jeffrey oh crap! I legit I actually thought that was what I was watching. lol
"This literally didn't happened" lol
@@Quantum_GirlE how high are you 🤣🌱🌿🌿🌲🌲🌲🌲
It’s great just like this why would being on that dumb show make it any better?
That "never forget" joke was GOLD
Kunstler Kunstlerr it’s been 18 years... i don’t think “too soon” is applicable anymore
@Kunstler Kunstlerr we all saw it happen, its been almost 19 years its not "too soon"
It was lmao
Kunstler Kunstlerr stfu
LMFAOOOO facts
"There's gotta be another way" in NY Italian accent had me dying lmao
I was at the Comedy Cellar on 9/12/19. Whilst it was an incredible night, and all the comedians killed, I will forever lament the fact I missed this set by one night.
"anytime he called me by my transgender name". Im walking around town trying not to piss myself laughing like a maniac
lol
Is he transgender ? (UA-cam just got me here )
xxVeidxx lmao no its a joke
I'm transgender and I've never heard a funnier trans comment in a joke from a straight cis white guy in my life
Ik it's a joke but I don't get it pls someone explain-
The fact that his father is an actual criminal, but being expelled from highschool is what dishonors the family 😂
1) Even sociopaths usually have a sense of ethics.
2)At least the man still wants to honor the mother of his children by keeping his son in school.
3) I bet the kid didn’t get in any more fights in school after that.
Hahaha
LMAO
That's really how it is or was in my family too! I could get caught by the cops with 270 oxycontin and I'd be like "shit.." expelled from Catholic highschool!? "I can't go home!!” True story. Shouts out to Cardinal Dougherty in Philly. FUCK you Mr. Kane!😅
Moral of the story
Father and Principal are good friends!!!
“Your worse enemy could be your best friend” Robert Nesta Marley
That was one of the funniest bits I’ve ever seen. To take such a touchy subject WHILE drunk and have a whole room laughing takes so much talent.
He was like "never forget" and I was like "I forgot". I'm dying over here
This is Chris Distefano's The Machine story
✪ Safoma but actually true...ish
Only this story is hilarious
Except this is funny.
You're kidding right? He's good, but this story ain't got shit on Burt's story
John Shepherd Bert’s story isnt as much funny as it is entertaining. This story will get you to howl in laughter. The machine story gets some chuckles but the main appeal is the absurd situation, not really its comedic appeal. But to each their own.🤷🏾♂️ Both sets are great
“A chain that’s Jesus’ actual height and weight in gold” one of the best off handed remarks in the whole story
Yes, but worked on and crafted for probably 3 months.
The fact that there’s 666 likes on this particular comment is the greatest thing ever. Nobody fuck this up.
Right!🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What about me makes only 4 comments cuz no one wanted to touch it after the first comment...I'm all in
Couldn't agree more - an absolutely hilarious detail, just thrown in as a casual aside; legendary story-telling!
I lost track of how many times I've watched this
Same!!! 😂
I’ve listened to this 30 times in the last few years. My fav stand up bit of all time.
Joey Diaz should play your father
Omfg YES!
Holy fuck, yes please!
MY EXACT THOUGHT THE WHOLE TIME
Does this count as Drunk History?
Chris and Coco exchanging stories would be a great podcast.
The fact that he doesn’t need a punchline to tell a story means this guy is going to be funny for a long time. I had tears in my eyes this entire video.
William Johnson this was just a story. He has jokes with punchlines and they’re very good as well
I literally was crying. His one line commentary to punctuate points are unreal.
@William Johnson the best part about it all, you can listen to someone else. Don't let us know who tho....
William Johnson two things. I love that you came back 14 hours later because this was so on your mind. Also, you told me a lot about yourself and your age in that you went and checked out some late night sets. Nobody below 30 checks out late night sets.
William Johnson I’m genuinely laughing really hard at the “get owned bitch” like you’re proud you did something. You didn’t. I’m also getting the sense that I was right.
"Look at dat whoopty doo now you're not on da phone" Barney Rubbles kills me
“whoopdido you’re not on the phone anymore” killed me
Omg
Me too. I can picture it!
Finger slams on the phone rest button!
I could imagine Pacino doing that it in one of those 90s mob movies.
Magic trick lolololol
“I lost god September 21st, 1979” had me dying lol
How could Earth, Wind, and Fire make someone lose their faith in God?
Do you remember?
@@jacksonp2397 😂😁🤣 .... If that wasn't a joke, then it's still pure Comedy.
God with a capital G
GLAM DOLL It’s okay just to laugh Karen
Had to check it out after YMH shot me up like a telescope
he is so effortlessly funny it’s crazy, and the stories he has to tell are insane. watching the hey babe podcast and hearing some of the stories is the best and funniest thing ever
Chris destefano is the gayest straight man ever
yes he is. It's just what it is, guy.
Chrissy chlamydia. AKA Chrissy Neither straight nor gay.
John mulaney
@@alyxchai1943 definitely
And Tim Dillon is the straightest gay man ever. I feel like they could do something with that lol
He's just deeply closeted
08:59 _”Are you stupid?”_
09:23 _”Chrissy, lock the forking door.”_
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Yeah I heard it too
He lost God september 21st 1979
Chrissys dad was all like “put my son back in school or I’m gonna come atchu in a different way” 🤣🤣
I chuckled when he said “and he looked at the ceiling and laughed”.
This was one of the best stand up bits I’ve ever seen.
Now you ruined it for me cause there's no way it could be that good
Meh
The bar is set low for you then lol
He met Theo Von & decided to become a NY version of him. It’s allright tho 🤷🏽♂️
Oh man I’m laughing so hard right now 😂
I’d rather be in prison with my actual friends 😂😂😂
The fact his delivery is on point despite being drunk is proof that comedy is not for just anyone. You have to have real talent to do this.
When my dad calls me by my transgender name ahahahaha lost it!! The most hilarious guy ever!! He makes me laugh
"Some drunk guy just wandered onto the stage and started telling jokes, he doesn't even have a time slot." "Wait... let him talk."
Hahahhahahaha good one lmao
Feel bad for whoever had to follow him that night
@MichaelSanguine the audience's raucous laughter says otherwise
@MichaelSanguine maybe if he whispered it in to the mic for you, you would have liked it.
MichaelSanguine this was fucking hilarious. One of my favorite bits in recent memory
@@TCrob WAAHAHAHAHAA
MichaelSanguine you have a poor sense of humor..this guy’s set was incredible!
“Anytime my dad calls me by my transgender name” that whole sequence was knee slapping hilarious 😂
Watching this on the 20th anniversary of 9/11
One of the best stories ever! His delivery “drunk” is better and more genuine than many comedians sober
Anthologic I don’t think he was actually drunk, I think that bit was just part of the act
When did you see a comedian sober lol
Seems like he's on speed as well lol
@@calisongbird He was actually drunk, they talk about it in one of their podcasts!
UA-camName he was not fully drunk, but quite tipsy
Give this man some benadryl, and get him over to YMH
thatfitdad IG piss on me. Beat me.
@@robreid2652 um ..ok?!
@@Daswassuphomie It's a YMH reference
Jeans were high and tight!
Younga Munree Huwecors? I ront think that Widdle Wayne signs comerians. If rey do get Shane Gillis some benaril and send him too.
I've heard Chris tell this story multiple times from watching his specials and on Pandora. This time I felt like I got the real unedited version! You're the man Chrissy!
I can rehear this story a hundred times and still be cracking up
This man has the exact opposite comedic energy as John Mulaney
What is Mulaney’s effect. Haven’t seen too much of Mulaney.
Mulaney is drunk gangster that sobered up and acts gay. This guy is clean cut gay guy that gets drunk and goes gangster.
@@stevenosborne455 interesting
@@stevenosborne455 oh
@Keynesian Economics indeed he does, he's incredibley straight actually. However, I still stand by my metaphor.
Wow that was so connected. Homeboy was super comfortable. And it showed. Great show.
yeaaaaa alcohol does that, professor
@@vqqqqq Well alchohol makes me very incoherent so I give him mad respect for that.
@@vqqqqq this isnt just alcohol, this is years of practice + alcohol
I think this just beat Jesus for the greatest story ever told.
This will forever be my favorite story of all time
This is what therapy looks like for a comedian
Literally bro he sounds like he’s having a conversation 😂
Funny enough his therapist told him he should do comedy and he's been killing it
Yeah this was both hilarious and tragic at the same time.
„Id rather be in actual jail, with my friends.“ has me dying everytime
I watch this every year to remember.
I could watch this 100 times and 100 times it would crack me up. The fact he's drunk makes it even funnier and makes him even somewhat endearing
When he’s talking about his dad coming to the school I’m picturing Adam Sandler lmao
Sameeeee
It literally is a perfect Sandler impression 😂😂
yes!
I’m just seeing my dad doing this lmao
I imagined Joey Diaz 😂
Hey Mommy's wasn't that worth pausing the podcast.
haha yup
holy crap yes
had to
Chrissy Benadryl is hilarious
💀💀💀💀💀💀
“Chrissy in the closet till my dad dies” kills this story. Made me laugh so hard I got a nosebleed
Do you have a link for that? I just discovered Chris Distefano and I can't find it
@@zuri2002 “Chrissy in the Closet Till My Dad Dies” is one of his aliases like Chrissy Chaos or Chrissy Keg Stands. He had an episode of Your Moms House Podcast where he said he’s Chrissy in the Closet… it just stuck with me as the funniest alias.
"They got the wrong guy."
"Here's the thing, no they didn't." 😂😂😂
That part killed me!! 😂😂😂
His dad voice sounds like coach Steve from big mouth
Gavin Oldham I was thinking the exact same thing! This was a great set!
Breh
"They got the wrong guy...... He didn't make the thick in the warm "
@@biggiefish8223 Most appropriate username to match a comment I've seen in a minute.
@@EvilMonkey7818 thank you
This guy doesn't need any material. He's just like Joey Diaz. He can just tell all the absurd shit he's experienced and be naturally funny. Love it
i was smiling throughout the story but the half-excited half-scared “oh my god” around 6:12 is where i fully fucking lost it 😂😂😂😂😂
edit - fixed the time i realized i was off a couple seconds
This sounds like Rocket Raccoon doing stand up. 😂
Ben Timpe - 🤣 bravo sir 👏
Ben Timpe HOLY CRAP! It really does!!!
Omg yeassss
“I’m daddy’s little princess and I know what daddy wants” I lost it 😂😂😂
One of the STRONGEST sets I've ever seen. 12 minutes of gold. I mean it.
“Crissy, lock the fucking door” 😭😭
Who else comes back every now and then to watch this?
Me
me
At least 10 times in the last two years lol
Here again
All comedy derives from pain and tragedy and this is the pinnacle of comedic stories.
CHRIS was hitting on ALL CYLINDERS with THIS ONE!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
This will never fail to be hilarious. I've watched this too many times.
I was laughing my ass off from the part he said Bill was triggered then slightly excuses his language by saying “Ladies ...”
That "I lost God" line is hilariously dark
Agree! It's such a good detail for the story
Tyler Swanson
Yeah.... i just stopped laughing and ...and started to think about shit after that line
I don't get it 🙃
dannydbdhoes he lost God
Lost my shit at "Anytime my dad called me by my transgender name..." XD
I come back to this whenever I need a good belly laugh 😂
Dude knows how to perfectly tell a story.
Somehow i find the funniest thing in this is when he walked in to school "youre expelled" "oh shit man i forgot" got me cracking in tears especially the way he said it
Did you hear of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?
Never Forget.
He tried the George Costanza method
40 years ago today, this man lost God...
Simon. Someone said it means he killed someone in prison.
Honestly could've been both...
@@ali3nsuperstar yeah, possible.
@@jimmypadilla3441 both..... *AT THE SAME TIME*
If they ever make Chrissy’s life into a movie, Adam Sandler would crush it as Tony DiStefano
Had to come here today.
He totally turned into Chrissy when he was defending his vodka soda while on Keto oh gosh 😂😂😂. He’s like prepping for the audience to roast him
Chris should just do everything drunk from now on. This is comedy gold.
I’ve watched this multiple times now & it’s laughs each & every time.
i wish you knew english tbh
ikr , drunk distefano for the win!!!
Mike LaBelle I’d forgotten about this - it’s so classic
@@jsharkey9287 Wow, smarty pants. Spell checking on youtube.
@@jsharkey9287 my thoughts exactly
"because I'm daddy's little princess.. and I know what daddy wants".. 😂😆😂😆😂
I’m gonna watch this routine every Sept 11 now
I thought they were going to pretend that his mother died in 9/11 so that the school would take him back
Anunnaki Menagerie that would’ve been a good excuse.
This guy is a great comedian. Taking a story that should not at all be funny and making it absolutely hilarious. Hats to you my dude
Why shouldn't it be made fun of? It happened it's over with people love to hold on to it so they can blame their shitty lives on a disaster caused by our own government
RenewableEnd85 ....why shouldn't it be funny? I mean he knocked some as**ole out cold with a chair, that sh*t's hilarious.....
TWS 18st ....caused by the animals who follow a false prophet pedophile, not our gov't
You are right...
- 9/11
- crying teen
- teen on steroids (in school?)
- brutal attack on child
- mom in blood
- dad in jail
- dad bribing, threatening Principal
- principal doing underground supply....
@@abrahamjosM cry
I’ve been unable to draw a complete breath this entire story….I can’t get enough of this guy❤
Every couple of months I come back to this gem 😆 🤣 💀
“How did you survive 9/11 and fall off the bus?!”
“He was wearing a chain that was Jesus’ actual height and weight in gold” FANTASTIC, I actually used that last week 🤣
But I had to stop the video at “I lost God September 21st, 1979” because I laughed so hard my (conservative Christian) soul could’ve escaped my body.
and that "never forget" was fucking golden
"You give me an antihistamine and some liquor; I'm tucking my-" LOL
Every sentence is comedy gold
This should’ve been on “This Is Not Happening!!” lol 😂
Agreed! Or drunk history. 😊
"A chain that's Jesus's actual height and weight in gold" that had me dying 😂😂😂
"Distefano, you're expelled.
Oh I forgot
Never forget!
I was like I forgot what you gonna do"
I’ve watched this so many times & I will continue to keep watching it. I love his stand up so much.
"cuz I'm daddy's little princess and I know what daddy wants" 🤣🤣 I'm done 🤣
cant stop laughing "I'm daddy's little princes and I know what daddy wants"